Insert Your Own NAZI Party Joke

Amusing:

f you’re planning to vote in Virginia’s February Republican presidential primary, be prepared to sign an oath swearing your Republican loyalty.

The State Board of Elections on Monday approved a state Republican Party request to require all who apply for a GOP primary ballot first vow in writing that they’ll vote for the party’s presidential nominee next fall.

There’s no practical way to enforce the oath. Virginia doesn’t require voters to register by party, and for years the state’s Republicans have fretted that Democrats might meddle in their open primaries.

I wonder if the “loyalty oath”sounds anything like this:

Ich schwöre bei Gott diesen heiligen Eid, daß ich dem Führer des Deutschen Reiches und Volkes Adolf Hitler, dem Oberbefehlshaber der Wehrmacht, unbedingten Gehorsam leisten und als tapferer Soldat bereit sein will, jederzeit für diesen Eid mein Leben einzusetzen.

/Godwin.






126 replies
  1. 1
    jcricket says:

    John – While this is certainly ridiculous, you can’t pre-emptively invoke Godwin’s law. That’s one of the key corralaries (sp?) actually.

    :-)

    Reductio Ad Hitlerium.

  2. 2
    wingnuts to iraq says:

    hey, it worked for Bush in ’04 at his campaign stops.

  3. 3
    Dreggas says:

    Hedley Lamarr: Repeat after me: I…
    Men: I…
    Hedley Lamarr: …your name…
    Men: …your name…
    Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks.
    [continues aloud]
    Hedley Lamarr: … do pledge allegiance…
    Men: …do pledge allegiance…
    Hedley Lamarr: …to Hedley Lamarr…
    Men: …to Hedy Lamarr…
    Hedley Lamarr: That’s *Hedley*!
    Men: That’s Hedley.

  4. 4
    Kermit says:

    Es ist wirklich nicht zu schwer zu verstehen. Wenn man wählen will, muss man verstehen, dass seine eigene Wille ist im Vergleich mit der Wille der Partei im Endeffekt nichts. Die Partei kümmert sich um euch. Ihr müsst nur die Gegenleistung erbringen. Und Godwin ist nur ein Schritt und ein paar Buchstaben von Gott entfent.

    Esst Snacky Smores

  5. 5
    Tsulagi says:

    Sieg Heil!

  6. 6
    Bombadil says:

    Almost overnight the Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade was in full flower, and Captain Black was enraptured to discover himself spearheading it. “The important thing is to keep them pledging,” he explained to his cohorts. “It doesn’t matter whether they mean it or not. That’s why they make little kids pledge allegiance even before they know what ‘pledge’ and ‘allegiance’ mean.” He had really hit on something.

    –Joseph Heller, Catch-22

  7. 7
    VidaLoca says:

    It’s like the Virginia GOP is being run by the clown posse at RedState.

  8. 8
    Michael D. says:

    I pledge loyalty to the Edwards reich! Seriously!

  9. 9
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    Achtung Baby!

  10. 10
    TR says:

    This is par for the course with the GOP under the direction of Our Glorious Leader George Walker Bush.

  11. 11
    Jake says:

    Do these jackholes sit down and think of ways to turn off voters? What next, signing the oath in blood? Hazing?

    Republicans have fretted that Democrats might meddle in their open primaries.

    Hello boys and girls, can you say Projection?
    Good!

  12. 12
    fuddmain says:

    Yet more evidence that I’ve somehow been spirited away to Bizarro World.

  13. 13
    sal says:

    I question primaries in the first place. Why should states subsidize the two main parties? Either let them pay for the primaries or hold their own caucuses.
    Michigan’s primaries, which most Dems aren’t even running in because of it’s early date, got tossed out for a while because records of who voted in primaries are only released to the parties, not the public.
    And by the way, isn’t it time Michael D. – boy it’s so tempting to write Mickey D. – have his email on the sidebar? Is he on probation or just not want the spam & bother?

  14. 14
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    By the Way, why isn’t Dick Dick here defending the Reich? I thought that Gauleiter Training was on Thursdays.

  15. 15
    Billy K says:

    Let’s ALL sign one! I feel like a mindless joiner today!

  16. 16
    Zifnab says:

    Perhaps the Republican Party can take the next step and start enforcing some sort of Party Dress Code. Those Tucker Carlson bow ties should be a good way of designating who is and is not a True Believer.

    Maybe they should all have to wear bright red ‘R’ letters on their clothing. Or maybe they could wear it in black on a red armband. And they can all start walking funny, kinda doing some sort of silly march, to let everyone else know they are voting Republican.

    This could be fun.

  17. 17
    fuddmain says:

    Those Tucker Carlson bow ties should be a good way of designating who is and is not a True Believer.

    I think two wetsuits and a hidden dildo would be more appropriate.

  18. 18
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    Jeez. 4 years in high school. Two semesters in college. And I’ll be damned if I can read more than Kermit’s opening sentence (“It’s really not hard to understand”).

    My high school German teacher would hang her head in shame…wait, no she wouldn’t, she’d slap me silly.

  19. 19
    Elvis Elvisberg says:

    Obviously it’s not enforceable. But it’s also not clear what they think they’re accomplishing. I mean, what if you just really want to vote for John McCain, on the grounds that only someone who faced battle should be president? Or what if you were John Cole, circa June 2006?

    I don’t see why you’d want to make this extra effort to snarl at everyone who isn’t a dyed-in-the-wool psycho-partisan.

  20. 20
    Delia says:

    There’s no practical way to enforce the oath. Virginia doesn’t require voters to register by party, and for years the state’s Republicans have fretted that Democrats might meddle in their open primaries.

    Hmm . . . maybe the Gauleiters could start holding the voters’ first-born as hostages until after the general election. Just a thought.

  21. 21
    fuddmain says:

    How is it even legal to do this?

  22. 22
    MBunge says:

    What is the deal with the GOP fetish for preventing “vote fraud”? Yeah, I know it started as a way to keep black folks from voting…but it seems like it’s metastisized beyond that.

    Mike

  23. 23
    ixeian says:

    Heh, I just clicked over here to send a link on this very story. But of course you’re all-ready on top of it. Truly, the jokes almost write themselves.

    @Jake, regarding Projection: Eeeeee-xactly

  24. 24
    Mike says:

    And I renounce Clinton and all of his works. In the name of the Reagan, the Bush and the other Bush. Amen.

  25. 25
    Ugh says:

    I was sorely tempted when Cheney went by in his motorcade the other day to stand on the corner and give the old Sieg Heil to him.

  26. 26
    Zifnab says:

    Obviously it’s not enforceable. But it’s also not clear what they think they’re accomplishing. I mean, what if you just really want to vote for John McCain, on the grounds that only someone who faced battle should be president? Or what if you were John Cole, circa June 2006?

    It’s just an attempt at trickery. They think they can fool people into being forced to vote Republican. Kinda like the voter intimidation phone calls that “warn” you about how if you didn’t to X, Y, Z, you may be committing a felony by just showing up at a pooling place.

    It would be horrifying if it wasn’t so transparently pathetic. “Vote for us or we’ll throw you in jail!”

  27. 27
    PaulW says:

    Let’s be realistic about what this oath represents: it’s a way of forcing the primary voters to stick with whoever ends up as the GOP nominee… even if it’s someone the majority of GOP voters go against him. Say for example most Virginia GOPers vote for Huckabee, but Romney ends up getting the majority of states and winning the nomination? That primary oath is going to force the Virginian GOPers to either break their oath (and for many Southerners trust me that is extremely difficult to do) or otherwise lie and vote for another candidate/party, or else hold their noses and vote for someone they didn’t want. Either way, it’s lose/lose.

    How many Virginia Republican voters will actually stay away come primary time in order to avoid this oath? How many will dare to challenge that oath at the voting precinct? Why is this even legal? Why do I get the feeling this is actually an attempt to keep voters away just so a particular candidate (Rudy? Romney?) would have a better shot at winning?

  28. 28
  29. 29
    Dreggas says:

    I pledge allegiance, to the flag
    Of the red states of America

    And to the Homeland for which it stands
    Half a nation, under GOD, for seceding

    with Gitmo and waterboarding for all!

  30. 30
    Dreggas says:

    Now I lay me down to sleep
    I pray my Soul George bush will keep

    If I die before I wake
    I pray George bush will kill those I hate.

  31. 31
    Jay says:

    PaulW beat me to it.

    Why would any Virginia GOP voter turn out for the primary, given the field of candidates they have to choose from?

    What if I’m an anti-Mormon bigot and Romney gets the nomination? What if I’m a Ron Paul supporter and, well, anyone else gets the nomination?

  32. 32
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    There’s no practical way to enforce the oath.

    I wonder how many members of the general public will know that?

  33. 33
    El Cruzado says:

    Jake beat me to it…

    Nixon-’72-McGovern anyone?

    Some days I just can’t believe the things some of these people have got away with, even openly.

  34. 34
    Gus says:

    Bombadil, I immediately thought of Captain Black, too. Great minds…

  35. 35
    4tehlulz says:

    If I cross my fingers behind my back while taking the pledge, does this mean I can vote for the Democratic candidate?

    If this doesn’t work out, will the VA GOP try pinky swearing next?

  36. 36
    cleek says:

    I wonder how many members of the general public will know that?

    a smart opposition party would make a lot of noise about this kind of thing.

  37. 37
    Dreggas says:

    Our father, who art in Maryland
    Cheney be thy name

    Thy Empire come, Halliburtons work be done
    In Iran as it is in Iraq.

    Give us this day our daily talking points
    and aid us in our trespasses
    as we out those who trespass against us.

    Lead us not into Prosperity
    but deliver us from evil-doers

    For thine is the empire, the power and
    the chest thumping forever, Amen.

  38. 38
    Dreggas says:

    Notorious P.A.T. Says:

    There’s no practical way to enforce the oath.

    I wonder how many members of the general public will know that?

    This is todays GOP you are talking about, the kind that had pistol packing “enforcerers” showing up in border states at polling places. It’s the GOP who made you sign a loyalty oath to see the president speak and man-handled hecklers. This is the GOP that is now demanding these loyalty oaths saying you will vote for who they tell you to vote for (aka the nominee) and not cast a vote for anyone else. They will have access to the persons home address and telephone number, wanna bet they don’t harrass the hell out of them or somehow otherwise intimidate or tamper with their voting come the election?

  39. 39
    r€nato says:

    I can’t think of a better way to drive even more non-foaming-at-the-mouth Republicans into the independent or Democratic camp than this ridiculous, pointless, unenforceable loyalty oath crap.

    Sure tells you were the GOP stands on totalitarianism, doesn’t it?

  40. 40
    jenniebee says:

    Are you sure that article is for this year? Signing that thing has been required to vote in Republican VA primaries since at least 2004. Folks in VA got fussy about McCain, and did something about it, by gum! I went to a Republican party lunch in ’99, I remember, and I said something along the lines of that if McCain was nominated, I might vote for him, but I wouldn’t vote for any of the other potential R candidates, especially George Bush. When someone offers to cross party lines to vote for a Democratic candidate at a Democratic party function, they get treated like the Great White Hope. I got told that if I wouldn’t vote for any Republican they sought fit to nominate they weren’t interested in having me vote Republican at all. Suits me fine, all things considered. Charming attitude.

    Still, you want a creepy pledge, check out the Kansas Republican Party Loyalty Oath, aka I am not now nor will ever be a Democrat:

    I, _______________, promise never to abandon my present Republican Party affiliation for the purpose of political gain. The Republican Party, both nationally and domestically, was founded on sound and principled ideals, that include but are not limited to, personal liberty, individual freedom, responsive and citizen-based Government, life-affirming values, economic growth, strong and cutting edge military, low taxes and a mutual respect for fellow Republicans. Because of that, I will, at no point in my political or personal future, find cause to transfer my Party loyalty to any other affiliated organization.

    I will not, at any future moment, become a registered Democrat for the purpose of seeking any political office. Additionally, I will not change my Party affiliation to that of any peripheral political party, such as the Reform Party, the Green Party or the Libertarian Party. Such a move would be not only opportunistic, it would be an unjustified trampling of everything that I previously claimed to stand for.

    I care far too deeply about the previously espoused Republican ideals as well as the thousands of hard-working Republican citizens all over the State of Kansas to ever consider changing my political Party affiliation. I look forward to a life of citizen-serving, Republican political involvement. I thank the Kansas Republican Party, including all of the registered Kansas Republicans, for their years of service, good will and friendship.

    I solemnly pledge to always be a Republican, no matter what promises are made by external forces seeking only to undermine the Republican values I stand for. I can have reasonable disagreement with members of the Republican Party; however, at no point will ‘Party switching’ or quitting of the Party be tolerable.

    Signed,

    X __________________________________

  41. 41
    r€nato says:

    jesus, jenniebee, that’s grotesque. All that’s missing is a promise that your soul will burn eternally in the lake of fire if you ever betray the oath.

  42. 42
    Dreggas says:

    jenniebee,

    Damn, all that needs is a promise to baptise their first born and if it be a male child give him the first name of Ronald, middle name of Goldwater or some combination of the two names.

  43. 43
    KCinDC says:

    The Republican Party of Virginia has been racing toward a cliff for some years now, so this is just another nudge on the accelerator. Hell, earlier this month they lost their majority in the state senate by one seat because of their urge to purge. One of the seats they lost was one where the Republican incumbent had been defeated in the primary by a more conservative challenger, who was then easier for the Democrat to beat in the general.

  44. 44
    jenniebee says:

    Yeah. It’s like watching really nasty people you never liked much anyway speed headfirst into a wall. They’re still people, and on some level you feel sorry for them, but really you just want to pop corn and watch the fireworks.

  45. 45
    Ed Drone says:

    “There’s no practical way to enforce the oath. ”

    With the revelations about the phone companies and warrantless wiretaps, the connection between voting machine companies and the Republicans’ Party, and the vaunted Republican lock-step approach to party ‘unity,’ and you still say that?

    Wake up and smell the kaffe!

    Ed

  46. 46
    r€nato says:

    Someday the GOP will wake up and realize their formerly big tent has shrunken down to a pup tent. Gays, not welcome. Moderates, not welcome. Anyone who criticizes Bush or warmongering or Constitution-trampling or torture or any other of his policies, not welcome. Brown-skinned people, not welcome. Black-skinned people, not welcome. Muslims, not welcome.

    Fortunately for us, it will be about 20 years and several more electoral disasters before they wake up to what they’ve done to themselves.

  47. 47
    Svensker says:

    I can have reasonable disagreement with members of the Republican Party; however, at no point will ‘Party switching’ or quitting of the Party be tolerable.

    Now there’s a fine all American loyalty oath. Keee-rikey.

  48. 48
    KCinDC says:

    Oh, and they rejected their possibly viable Senate candidate, Tom Davis, because he was too “liberal”, so they’re looking at a blowout loss in that race next year (though we shouldn’t count our chickens yet). Of course they probably would have lost the Senate race even with Davis, but now Davis is disgusted enough that he may very well resign from his House seat, giving the Democrats another good pickup opportunity.

  49. 49
    jenniebee says:

    Before people get too worked up about this being a mechanism to pressure people to vote R in the general election, please keep in mind that people who vote in the primaries in VA are already only casting symbolic votes (it’s all already sewn up by the time we get to say anything about it) so the only people going to the polls on primary day are very politically active (read: partisan) anyway. The VA oath is a pathetic joke. It is an exercise in political masturbation. One might as well worry that the Kansas oath is really going to stop Kansans interested in public policy from switching to go Dem when they – to paraphrase one of the deserters whose departure inspired the oath – decide they would rather work on building great universities than forever about whether Charles Darwin was right.

  50. 50
    4tehlulz says:

    now Davis is disgusted enough that he may very well resign from his House seat, giving the Democrats another good pickup opportunity.

    oh shi- seriously? lol. Nothing says “Fuck you.” like handing your seat to the opposition party.

  51. 51
    Psycheout says:

    This is a great idea, that should be extended to the general election.

    A lot of Democrats and anarchists and people with sick senses of humor will be lining up to vote for Ru Paul in the primaries. I think it’s only right to require Republicans to select their own without Democrat party dirty tricks.

    Believe me, none of us want to vote for any of your primary candidates. So stay out of our primaries.

  52. 52
    Z says:

    It is so sad how Republican party politics has less to do with what you believe in or what the politicians actually do in office than whether you have the conservative, Republican IDENTITY. It doesn’t matter if their leaders are mortgaging America’s future while bending over male pages and lining their pockets. What matters is that they can divide Americans into conservative Republicans(CR) and liberals, and that being a CR means being strong, straight, Christian, moral, and fearless. This necessarily means that being liberal must be the opposite, and they would rather die than have to identify thus. Reality, actual policy, etc has nothing to do with it.

  53. 53
    jenniebee says:

    Oh, and they rejected their possibly viable Senate candidate, Tom Davis, because he was too “liberal”, so they’re looking at a blowout loss in that race next year (though we shouldn’t count our chickens yet).

    It’s Warner in a walk this year, and has been ever since the old Warner announced his retirement. As far as I can tell, too, Webb has only gained in popularity here at home, and Warner’s approach to fiscal policy and taxation while he was governor was nothing short of brilliant. Both are young men, both are attractive, and both are smart enough and self-disciplined enough not to fuck up their careers over anything stupid. VA is set up to have two Dem senators for the next thirty years with those two.

    Provided neither of them runs for President, of course.

  54. 54
    Tsulagi says:

    What really gets me with this thing is requiring those who get a Republican ballot for the primary have to pledge to also vote Republican in the general election. And the State Board of Elections signed off on that.

    So if Rudy is the Pub nominee next fall, and days before the election he’s indicted for NYC corruption and mentions while cross dressing he likes to play bottom for his life-sized, anatomically correct Osama doll, to keep their word those VA voters will have to vote for him. Amazing.

  55. 55
    Psycheout says:

    Z nails it:

    …being a CR [Conservative Republican] means being strong, straight, Christian, moral, and fearless.

    Yepyep. You got that right.

    This necessarily means that being liberal must be the opposite….

    Bingo! And it’s absolutely true. Well said, Z!

  56. 56
    RSA says:

    That creepy pledge turns out not to be official; it’s the brain child (loosely speaking) of a creepy right wing blog.

  57. 57
    r€nato says:

    It is so sad how Republican party politics has less to do with what you believe in or what the politicians actually do in office than whether you have the conservative, Republican IDENTITY.

    it’s exactly like being in a cult.

    What matters, more than anything else, is fealty, loyalty, the willingness to assert that 2+2 is 5 if you are told so.

  58. 58
    r€nato says:

    Psycheout, shall I list for you all the closeted Republicans who were outed (or outed themselves) just in the last year or so?

  59. 59
    r€nato says:

    is Psycheout really the best that Troll Central can do?

  60. 60
    scarshapedstar says:

    Theoretically, if the Republican nominee were to die before the general election, wouldn’t these people be sworn to vote for a dead man?

  61. 61
    Dreggas says:

    Tsulagi Says:

    So if Rudy is the Pub nominee next fall, and days before the election he’s indicted for NYC corruption and mentions while cross dressing he likes to play bottom for the meat inhis life-sized, anatomically correct Osama doll A Bernie Kerik/N-Pod sandwich, to keep their word those VA voters will have to vote for him. Amazing.

    Fixed…

  62. 62
    jenniebee says:

    RSA: The comments on that blog are jaw-dropping.

    Thanks for the catch. I read about the oath originally in Krugman’s Conscience of a Liberal, and he stated there that it was an official party thing. It sounded so like the VA oath, I had no reason to doubt that they might have done it. Might the state party have adopted this, or one like it? Does anybody know?

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

  63. 63
    Peter Johnson says:

    This seems like a perfectly reasonable idea to me. With the rise of the liberal blogs, you’re likely to see organized efforts to sabotage the Republican primaries from Kossacks and the like. This seems like a reasonable way to stop this — force everyone who participates in the primary to vote Republican in the fall. What’s fair is fair — you want to sabotage our primary, you have to vote for our candidate.

  64. 64
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    What’s fair is fair—you want to sabotage our primary party, you have to vote for our candidate.

    Fixed it for ya’.

  65. 65
    Punchy says:

    I wish they’d sign an oath to brush their teeth, see a dentist, and ditch the meth.

  66. 66
    Zifnab says:

    What’s fair is fair—you want to sabotage our primary, you have to vote for our candidate.

    That would totally make sense if…

    A) Its Unenforceable. The GOP is just killing trees with these things.

    B) Its illegal. You can’t contract for someone’s vote. Votes cannot be bought or sold, bartered or traded. If the oath was binding, the GOP would effectively be selling the right to vote in a primary for a vote in the general.

    C) Its stupid. Since when does “voting” constitute “sabotage”. Only in the most Orwellian of worlds does stating your preference for elected office morph into some sort of terrorist act.

  67. 67
    jenniebee says:

    What’s fair is fair—you want to sabotage our primary, you have to vote for our candidate.

    If we all flood your primaries and nominate Stephen Colbert… you might just have yourself a deal there, Richard.

  68. 68
    HyperIon says:

    Psycheout made a funny.
    Ru Paul

  69. 69
    Psycheout says:

    Its Unenforceable. The GOP is just killing trees with these things.

    Nice projection. Just because liberals are dishonest to the core doesn’t mean conservatives are too. We actually have principles. Republicans keep their word.

    I meant what I said and said what I meant. An elephant’s loyal 100%.

  70. 70
    Peter Johnson says:

    Since when does “voting” constitute “sabotage”

    Registering for a party you don’t like just so that you can mess with their own candidate selection process is certainly sabotage. It may also be illegal.

  71. 71
    VidaLoca says:

    This seems like a perfectly reasonable idea to me.

    Yes, well, it would. Why am I not exactly surprised by that statement?

    With the rise of the liberal blogs, you’re likely to see organized efforts to sabotage the Republican primaries from Kossacks and the like.

    Priceless!

    This seems like a reasonable way to stop this—force everyone who participates in the primary to vote Republican in the fall. What’s fair is fair—you want to sabotage our primary, you have to vote for our candidate.

    And the bestest part of it is, how will the pledge be enforced?

    GOP: “You broke your pledge!”

    Voter: “First of all, I didn’t want to vote for your Mussolini in a mini-skirt. Second of all, fuck you. Prove it.”

    GOP: “We can, we know how you voted!”

    It’ll go downhill from there. Srsly, a total winner of a strategy.

  72. 72
    Jess says:

    This seems like a reasonable way to stop this—force everyone who participates in the primary to vote Republican in the fall.

    Wow. I don’t know where to start. I’m laughing at the ridiculous level of paranoid projection, but I’m dumbfounded that someone–who I’m guessing would proudly proclaim his support for the American way and liberty and all those good things–would think it a “reasonable” solution to FORCE people to vote a certain way. If you’re not spoofing, then I hope you’ll take some time to think through what you just said and ponder the meaning of the terms “democracy” and “a free society.” Not holding my breath, though.

  73. 73
    Peter Johnson says:

    Voter: “First of all, I didn’t want to vote for your Mussolini in a mini-skirt.”

    I don’t think Hillary will be running as a Republican.

  74. 74
    VidaLoca says:

    Republicans keep their word.

    Up until it’s time to change their plea.

  75. 75
    Peter Johnson says:

    And I don’t think anyone wants to see her in a miniskirt either.

  76. 76
    VidaLoca says:

    Ah, nice comeback Peter. No, I’m talking about your small man looking for a balcony.

  77. 77
    Peter Johnson says:

    Anti-Italian much, VidaLoca? Would you say this if his last name didn’t end in a vowel. Oh, you tolerant liberals. Maybe if he were black or gay or a woman…or didn’t speak English you’d realize how offensive this kind of stereotype is.

  78. 78
    maxcat06 says:

    Could they go with purple fingers? Tattoos maybe? Branding would work: a nice scarlet R in the middle of the forehead would be attractive.

  79. 79
    Tax Analyst says:

    RSA Says:

    That creepy pledge turns out not to be official; it’s the brain child (loosely speaking) of a creepy right wing blog.

    That site’s sure got a high moron factor.

  80. 80
    les says:

    Not just Virginia. Paranoid repubs all over. The oath really pissed off some otherwise righty Kansans.

  81. 81
    VidaLoca says:

    No Peter, I said it because he’s a fascist. You’re thinking Mafia jokes. Those are more appropriate for Cheney — say what you want about the Mafia dons, you won’t see pictures of them in a skirt and high heels.

  82. 82
    trishb says:

    I’m one of those people who scares them. If you register as an independent in Ohio, you can choose in which primary you’d prefer to vote. In 2000, it happened to be the Republican primary for the first time in my life. Voted for McCain because Bush just scared the crap out of me, and Gore had the Dem vote wrapped up. Chalk it up to early signs of BDS.

    Which reminds me it’s time to switch my registration back to Democratic. The Repubs could nominate the second coming of Jesus and they’d still manage to screw over the country somehow. Wait, nevermind. They’d never nominate someone with that name. It sounds Hispanic or something.

  83. 83
    yet another jeff says:

    Any other power-mad socialists turned authoritarian that spring to mind instead of Mussolini?

  84. 84
    horatius says:

    Wow. Peter Penis trying to teach us sensitivity. This must be a first.

  85. 85
    horatius says:

    Peter Penis wants to see Guiliani in a mini-skirt? Please don’t tell any of your fellow republics. They’ll kick you out of their reich, umm.. party.

  86. 86
    maxcat06 says:

    horatius…
    This is beginning to sound like Berlin in the ’30s.
    Cabaret, anyone?

  87. 87
    Svensker says:

    Peter Johnson Says:

    Since when does “voting” constitute “sabotage”

    Registering for a party you don’t like just so that you can mess with their own candidate selection process is certainly sabotage. It may also be illegal.

    How about we tattoo people with registration numbers, indicating party affiliation, which could be chosen at majority? If we tied it in with their SSN#s, we could get rid of voting altogether, just count up how many Repubs, Dems, whatever, there are. Party members with the most money and/or power could select the candidates, we’d skip all the campaigning tedium, etc. It’s a workable idea.

    That way, too, if people register with parties that are suspect, we can keep track of them. And, we’d have 100% participation!

    Great ideas, eh?

  88. 88
    Peter Johnson says:

    That way, too, if people register with parties that are suspect, we can keep track of them.

    Party registration is already part of the public records in most states, in fact. Does that frighten you for some reason?

  89. 89
    Jake says:

    When you’re a GOP
    You’re a GOP all the way
    from your first bit of graft
    til they find out you’re gay!

  90. 90
    jcricket says:

    That creepy pledge turns out not to be official; it’s the brain child (loosely speaking) of a creepy right wing blog.

    Phew. I seriously believed it (although that last part about “no one leaves the party” was a bit much). The actual, official, Texas GOP party platform is just as bat-shit insane, if in a less “The Firm” sort of way.

  91. 91
    D-Chance. says:

    Does memeorandum have something against B-J?

    I see no link to it, even though Mr Cole was among the very first to jump on this story. Ditto for the Lott story… Mr Cole asks “where’s my lucre?”, and a full half-day later, memeo links to a DIFFERENT blogger, who just so happened to pick up on the same term (coincidence, I’m sure).

  92. 92
    jcricket says:

    Here we go (Texas GOP platform & commentary)

  93. 93
    Svensker says:

    Peter Johnson Says:

    That way, too, if people register with parties that are suspect, we can keep track of them.

    Party registration is already part of the public records in most states, in fact. Does that frighten you for some
    reason?

    No, I was thinking of massive database stuff, where we don’t have to bother to vote, once we register our Party preference, see? The Party would just vote for us, and the government could have our Party affiliation on all our records. That way, if you get a parking ticket or seem suspicious while crossing a border, the government would know which Party you belonged to.

    The more I think out this idea, the better it seems. You could really keep track of stuff this way, and it would make terrorism surveillance much easier, as well. Probably cut down on general crime, too.

  94. 94
    Jake says:

    Here we go (Texas GOP platform & commentary)

    And the big red mastadon wades further into the tar pit. It would be sad if the stinking old beast hadn’t stomped on all the warning signs and charged right in to the mess.

  95. 95
    John Cole says:

    We don’t get picked up by memeorandum much anymore. We used to, but now, not so much.

    No idea why.

  96. 96

    Peter J,
    Just exactly how do you propose that wily Democrats could sabotage the Republicans? Most of us are pretty damn sure you’ve managed that on your own and are much more interested in who runs as a Democrat.

    Are you saying you really have an idea who is the worst possible candidate? Tell us please. I can’t make up my mind with so many idiocies to choose from. Or are you suggesting there’s one of them we’d like to have as President?

    Judas priest, are you so self-importantly blind that you can’t see that? Sure, we’ll root for you to pick the biggest loon possible, but you’ll manage that just fine with no help from us. People just like you have run your Party off the tracks, why would we want to interfere in that process, we might mess it up.

  97. 97
    stickler says:

    Ah, the analogies are endless:

    No, I was thinking of massive database stuff, where we don’t have to bother to vote, once we register our Party preference, see? The Party would just vote for us, and the government could have our Party affiliation on all our records. That way, if you get a parking ticket or seem suspicious while crossing a border, the government would know which Party you belonged to.

    That reminds me of another German song (from 1950, alas, so no snappy black uniforms): Die Partei hat immer Recht.

    Sing it, Comrade!

    Die Partei, die Partei, die hat immer Recht!
    Und, Genossen, es bleibe dabei;
    Denn wer kämpft für das Recht,
    Der hat immer recht.
    Gegen Lüge und Ausbeuterei.
    Wer das Leben beleidigt,
    Ist dumm oder schlecht.
    Wer die Menschheit verteidigt,
    Hat immer recht.
    So, aus Leninschem Geist,
    Wächst, von Stalin geschweißt,
    Die Partei – die Partei – die Partei.

    The Party is always right! And Comrades, it will always be so! Because he who fights for what is right is always right… (I won’t even bother translating the last three lines.)

  98. 98
    libarbarian says:

    I love this quote

    “Ironically, it smacks most of the Communist Party,”

    because I’ve been saying for YEARS that the closest parallell to the current republican party is NOT the Nazi party but rather the Communists.

    1. Elevation of dogma over reality? Check!

    2. Obsession with “enemies” (spies, wreckers, sabateurs, and “Kossacks trying to hijack our primary”) hidden in their midst? Check!

    3. History of changing the official “line” and then forgetting/denying that there was any change at all? Check! (2003-2006=”There is no insurgency and we don’t need more troops” … 2007=”OMG! There is a terrible insurgency and we NEED to SURGE!”)

    4. Blames its own unpopularity on a host of factors but never it’s own mistakes? Check! (“We represent the majority of Americans. We are only unpopular because all the stupid citizens have been brainwashed by their liberal college professors and the equally liberal media. Of course our ideas are so obviously right that we could trounce them in any debate but we can’t because we are constantly oppressed by the Soros-funded liberal secular power-structure that won’t let our message get out!”).

    As horrible as the Nazis were they, with a few exceptions (obvious their anti-Semitism was non-negotiable), largely prized empirical reality more than ideological purity. Sure, Nazi “scientists” faked research in an attempt to prove Aryan superiority and that Germany was the Aryan homeland, but they had limits.

    For instance, the Nazis would never have done this (paraphrased from Gulag Archipeligo):

    A high-ranking Soviet railroad engineer saw the 5-year-plan and said “You cant do this. You are overloading the cars and neglecting track maintenance. The tracks will break down and your whole plan will be ruined!” He was promptly arrested for Anti-Soviet Agitation and shot in the back of the head. His successor got the message and said “The Plan is fine. Go right ahead.” In due course the tracks began to break down, throwing the whole plan into chaos. The new engineer was promptly arrested for Sabotage and shot in the back of the head.

    Sadly, except for the shooting, this could be todays Republican party.

  99. 99
    John Cole says:

    Sadly, except for the shooting, this could be todays Republican party.

    They would just unleash the Con. Yank. and the rest of the citizen journalists and make him wish he had been shot.

    In a related note- Scott Beauchamp is out of Iraq and back in Germany, and will probably go on leave for a month to the states to visit his wife and unwind after a year or so in a combat zone. How much do you want to bet the fucktards hound him and try to ruin his leave? I am betting on citizen journalists parked outside his apartment waiting to videotape him.

  100. 100
    Svensker says:

    A high-ranking Soviet railroad engineer saw the 5-year-plan and said “You cant do this. You are overloading the cars and neglecting track maintenance. The tracks will break down and your whole plan will be ruined!” He was promptly arrested for Anti-Soviet Agitation and shot in the back of the head. His successor got the message and said “The Plan is fine. Go right ahead.” In due course the tracks began to break down, throwing the whole plan into chaos. The new engineer was promptly arrested for Sabotage and shot in the back of the head.

    That’s why it would be good to have public records of our Party affiliation, tied in to our other records. Otherwise, how would the government know whether we should be sent for Re-Education or shot?

    (I’d agree there is a definite Stalinist streak in today’s authoritarians, but there’s also a fine overlay of fascism. A lovely mix!)

  101. 101
    Fledermaus says:

    Sadly, except for the shooting, this could be todays Republican party.

    I don’t know, if I were a disenting member of the Bush admin I sure as hell wouldn’t go on any “hunting trips” with Dick Cheney

  102. 102
    D. Mason says:

    Sadly, except for the shooting, this could be todays Republican party.

    Are you 100% sure Harry Whittington didn’t say something like: “You can’t do this. You are overloading the military and neglecting troop wellbeing. The army will break down and your whole plan will be ruined!”?

  103. 103
    numbskull says:

    Fucking hilarious. Petey and Blow-out really ARE the GOP. Hey guys, this is a great plan and I think you should do all in your (meager) power to get other states to do the same thing! Oh please, please!

  104. 104
    Peter Johnson says:

    Are you saying you really have an idea who is the worst possible candidate? Tell us please.

    I would say that Paul and Huckabee are the weakest candidates, Romney and Giuliani the strongest. I wonder how many of those who gave to Paul’s online-whore-a-thon were really Republicans? I’ll bet not many. Liberals would love to see that nut as as the nominee because even Hillary could beat him. He and Huckabee are probably the only candidates Hillary could beat.

  105. 105
    skippy says:

    i think two wetsuits and a hidden dildo would be more appropriate.

    i see your two wetsuits and a hidden dildo and raise you a wide bathroom stance and some misappropiated municipal funds to see my mistress in long island.

  106. 106
    D. Mason says:

    I wonder how many of those who gave to Paul’s online-whore-a-thon were really Republicans?

    Probably not many, if he relied on 28%ers for fund raising, his coffers would be empty just like the rest of the GOP haha.

  107. 107
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    He and Huckabee are probably the only candidates Hillary could beat.

    But I just read that Giuliani/Huckabee would be an unbeatable ticket. And I’m pretty sure they aren’t kidding.

  108. 108
    The Other Steve says:

    I am betting on citizen journalists parked outside his apartment waiting to videotape him.

    Citizen Malkin never did identify what kind of countertop Beauchamp had.

  109. 109
    Dreggas says:

    skippy Says:

    i think two wetsuits and a hidden dildo would be more appropriate.

    i see your two wetsuits and a hidden dildo and raise you a wide bathroom stance and some misappropiated municipal funds to see my mistress in long island.

    i’ll see your two wetsuits, hidden dildo, wide bathroom stance, and some misappropriated municipal funds and raise you one diaper, tap dancing lessons, oral sex which was paid not for receiving but for giving to another person, a loufa and a falafel.

  110. 110
    Zifnab says:

    I would say that Paul and Huckabee are the weakest candidates, Romney and Giuliani the strongest. I wonder how many of those who gave to Paul’s online-whore-a-thon were really Republicans?

    Haha. Wow. So Ron Paul isn’t even a Republican now? I bet he’s a filthy stinking undercover communist. They’re everywhere, you know.

  111. 111
    r€nato says:

    How much do you want to bet the fucktards hound him and try to ruin his leave?

    no way. Sucker’s bet.

    A more sensible bet would be, who’s the first blogtard to call for a ‘journalistic investigation’ of Beauchamp’s residence.

  112. 112
    Jake says:

    How much do you want to bet the fucktards hound him and try to ruin his leave? I am betting on citizen journalists parked outside his apartment waiting to videotape him

    It would make my fucking year if someone snapped a pic of Michelle Malkin snarling at a guy in BDUs. I bet they stay the hell away from him though. Those chicken shits piss their pants at their own shadows. A soldier telling them to back off would cause massive coronary failure.

  113. 113
    r€nato says:

    Anti-Italian much, VidaLoca? Would you say this if his last name didn’t end in a vowel.

    well, see, then the joke wouldn’t make much sense, would it?

    I’m italian. Didn’t offend me at all. Fake outrage is, well… so fake when it comes from your type.

  114. 114
    r€nato says:

    How much do you want to bet the fucktards hound him and try to ruin his leave?

    then again… I don’t think that’s gonna happen.

    See, Beauchamp is a soldier. Meaning a) he’s an adult, not a 12 year old and b) he knows how to shoot a rifle.

    IOW, they’d be taking on someone their own size (or larger). That’s not what bullies do.

  115. 115
    libarbarian says:

    With the rise of the liberal blogs, you’re likely to see organized efforts to sabotage the Republican primaries from Kossacks and the like. – Peter Johnson

    I’m sorry. I was unaware that “The 11-4 Truth Movement” even existed. Are you its founding member?

    Seriously, I think you are either naive or just bald-faced lying. It’s hard to tell – but I think that deep down you must know this is bullshit.

    We both know that there is no threat of “Kossasks” or any organized group of Democrats forgoing a chance to vote in their own primary, and enabling their rivals within their party, just to have a long-shot chance of putting a “weak” Republican on the national ticket. The cost-benefit analysis is so bad that the concept is too stupid to dignify as anything other than insane.

    We both know that this is aimed at people who, like my father and me until recently, have identified as Republicans since we can remember but think that your wing of the party is utterly destroying our party, selling out our values, dishonoring our country, and betraying our constitution.

    We both know that this is a threat to Republicans that if they vote Democrat or otherwise fail to support the Republican candidate that your wing of the party will consider them as enemies and will do whatever you can to take vengence on them when you have the ability.

    Its a message mainly directed to local Republican businessmen and other whose lives depend on politicians (national and local) that if they publicly stray they will be blackballed from contracts, have their permit applications denied, generally fucked with by Republican politicians and officials, and possibly even be subject to the same politically motivated investigations and prosecutions that the Dems have had to deal with.

    It is nothing more than the threat of an insecure man who threatens the woman he knows no longer loves him that “If you leave me, I’ll hunt you down and get you!!”. For everyone who is scared by that shit theres a guy who will respond “Bring it on bitches!”.

    P.S. – So how will they do this? Are the Republicans at the polling place going to refuse to give you a ballot unless you sign first?

    Hell, now that I moved to Alexandria I might re-register as a Republican just so I can tell off the guy and just take the ballot out of his hands.

  116. 116

    Random Bits

    First, courtesy of John Cole, Virginia Republicans have a novel idea:The State Board of Elections on Monday approved a state Republican Party request to require all who apply for a GOP primary ballot first vow in writing that they’ll vote…

  117. 117
    Delia says:

    I wonder how many of those who gave to Paul’s online-whore-a-thon were really Republicans?

    Probably not many, if he relied on 28%ers for fund raising, his coffers would be empty just like the rest of the GOP haha.

    Well, the 28%ers aren’t giving to Paul. It’s the libertarians who used to be repubs and dropped out somewhere along the way after the Party went insane.

    BTW, the VA Republican Party won Olbermann’s Silver for Worst Person in the World tonight over their loyalty oath. So we can all wish them a hearty congratulations.

  118. 118

    Peter J,
    the fact that you believe this stuff ought to distress you. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said it is important to have a countervailing force to any Party, including my own, Democratic, and I do actually mean it. I am truly sorry to see the Rs run completely off the tracks and watch them ensuring it will last a long time.

    Beating that Party will be my agenda unless the Democrats lose their minds, but they’ve stuck somewhere near their principles since FDR, you cannot claim anything like that other than representing “business.” It isn’t even close to that now, it is plutocracy & theocracy you represent, good luck with that.

    I’m a small businessman, and I’m not blind enough to not see that if the vast majority of America doesn’t prosper I’m screwed. The rest of my agenda might be entirely foreign to you, but if you can’t see that…

  119. 119
    TenguPhule says:

    We actually have principles. Republicans keep their word.

    Guantanamo.

    Osama Bin Forgotten.

    WMD.

    Anthrax Mailings.

    Passing a Budget.

    Shiavo.

    No Child Left Behind.

    CAFTA.

    CIA outing.

    Defective Marine Body Armor.

    Gannon.

    New Orleans.

    The 4th amendment.

    FISA.

    The list goes on and on.

  120. 120
    TenguPhule says:

    I think it’s only right to require Republicans to select their own without Democrat party dirty tricks.

    Says the party of phone jamming, illegal robocalls, Swiftboating, and misinformation to minorities.

    Only Republicans could consider voting to be a crime against themselves.

  121. 121
    Goseph Gerbils says:

    r€nato:

    See, Beauchamp is a soldier. Meaning a) he’s an adult, not a 12 year old and b) he knows how to shoot a rifle.

    So it’ll be the white powder in the mail then.

  122. 122

    […] Insert Your Own NAZI Party Joke […]

  123. 123
    lou says:

    Hell, now that I moved to Alexandria I might re-register as a Republican just so I can tell off the guy and just take the ballot out of his hands.

    Librarian, you can register for any party you like and vote in the Republican primary. That’s why the Virginia Republican party is trying to impose this loyalty oath. They hate the open primaries and want to stop them, but the courts ruled against their efforts.

    The Post did a story recently on how a lot of people who used to belong to the Va. GOP have switched to independent because they’re so disgusted with the state version of the brand.

    PS you’re soooo right about Republicans=communists! I’ve been saying that for years, too, especially after reading about DeLay’s ambitions of one-party rule. That’s the good ole USSR in a nutshell.

  124. 124
    just sayin' says:

    Registering for a party you don’t like just so that you can mess with their own candidate selection process is certainly sabotage. It may also be illegal.

    There is no registration by party in Virginia. Since primaries are open, it is legal for any registered voter to vote in whichever primary they choose (or perhaps both, I’m not sure if voters in the first primary of the year are tracked and barred from the second). The ethics of strategic voting could be an interesting question, but the legality of the practice in Virginia is unquestionable.

  125. 125

    I read this in today’s “Potomac News,” and could only shake my head. What does it say when a political party feels the need to demand LOYALTY OATHS from their nominal followers to be sure their nominal followers actualy, like, vote for their party’s candidates?

    Seems to me, it says the republican party is pretty pathetic all around. I also note the Democratic party of Virginia does not appear worried about republicans messing in Democratic Primaries.

  126. 126
    grumpy realist says:

    This just looks more and more like a circular firing squad.

    Any political party that has anything like loyalty oaths should be sent to Siberia. Permanently.

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