Freedom Is On the, Umm, March?

Via the Intel-Dump (we were alerted through the comments of this post), this video of the our soldiers training the Iraqi Army:

Stop laughing. In fairness, jumping jacks (aka the side straddle hop) are an unnatural calisthenic. We just think it is as normal as can be because we don’t remember how stupid we looked in kindergarten when we learned how to do them.

Ok. Start laughing again.

*** Update ***

I can not stop watching this video. Every ten minutes I stop working, and watch it and laugh hysterically. The last time this happened was with this piece of excellence:

Still the greatest mash-up of all time.

The Star Wars mashup is pretty good, too.






73 replies
  1. 1
    Zuzu says:

    Awww, poor things. I give them credit for trying.

  2. 2
    Fwiffo says:

    The Macarena is like, hard work, man.

  3. 3

    Would be amusing to see Ted Kennedy try to do those alongside the soldiers.

  4. 4
    dingo says:

    Jerry Seinfeld-the terrorists expect the Big Battle to be on the playground-they are always training on the monkey bars. Looks like we will be ready!

  5. 5
    Third Eye Open says:

    I personally like the guy doing what looks like soft-shoe, apparently they dont have a DADT policy in Iraq’s Army.

  6. 6
    Bombadil says:

    Would be amusing to see Ted Kennedy try to do those alongside the soldiers.

    Nah, In Boston we have our own training regimen. (Also linked in prior thread).

  7. 7
    Dreggas says:

    I can’t see it but can imagine the humor…calling it the side straddle hop though…the memories…

  8. 8
    Third Eye Open says:

    Bombadil,

    I’d buy him a beer…but only after he stopped dancing, and ruining a good Dropkick’s song

  9. 9
    Jake says:

    Looks like that guy towards the right is spelling out Y-M-C-A.

    We just think it is as normal as can be because we don’t remember how stupid we looked in kindergarten when we learned how to do them.

    1. This is Iraq 2006, AD, not Iraq 2006, BC. The jumping jack is not some new and foreign concept to these guys.

    2. If we’d looked that spastic in my kindergarten gym class, our teacher would have shot us.

  10. 10
    OxyCon says:

    I don’t know what they were doing, but if I had to come up with a name for it, it would simply be called “Jacks”.

  11. 11
    Tsulagi says:

    Stop laughing.

    Give me a while. I also liked this line in the Intel Dump post referring to what he took from the vid…

    For me, this reinforces why classic Foreign Internal Defense (“FID”) missions focus on the elite units in a foreign country’s security forces.

    Ah, Phillip, from what I’ve been told, this WOULD BE an elite unit. Bonus laughs apparently is also watching them on a range. From the safety of an armored vehicle.

  12. 12
    Bombadil says:

    I’d buy him a beer…but only after he stopped dancing, and ruining a good Dropkick’s song

    The Dropkick Murphys don’t seem to mind.

  13. 13
    chopper says:

    to be fair, iraqis aren’t used to such a wide stance like americans are.

  14. 14
    chopper says:

    the tossers are so way better than dropkick murphys anyways.

  15. 15
    capelza says:

    Are jumping jacks a universal thing? All over the world?

    Having not done one for decades…in fact since I escaped the bloomers jumpsuit we had to wear in gym class c.1970 (don’t get me started on the swimsuits) I couldn’t even remember how to do one.

    Though when I got up and tried..it’s like riding a bicycle. Amazing.

    But to someone who never did one it might be odd and alien.

    That said..funny vid and great symbolically.

  16. 16
    Krista says:

    Stop laughing

    Like hell. I’ve watched it 8 times now and still have tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Poor buggers — why make them do jumping jacks anyway? If they need aerobic exercise, can’t they just make them run?

  17. 17
    chopper says:

    But to someone who never did one it might be odd and alien.

    hence Bebop McScatman in the middle.

  18. 18
    Punchy says:

    I think I see Steeley McBeam, there on the right.

  19. 19
    Dreggas says:

    Now I wish it wasn’t blocked here at work LOL. I feel so deprived.

  20. 20
    Third Eye Open says:

    Chopper,

    That may be so, but give me a kickin’ ska tune anyday…Operation Ivy for teh win!

  21. 21

    Kind of like a cross between The Village People and F-Troop.

  22. 22
    Bombadil says:

    It’s worth waiting until you get home, Dreggas.

  23. 23
    Konrad says:

    uh oh, we’ll be there for a long time if we continue with the ‘we stand down as they stand up’ meme…

  24. 24
    D-Chance. says:

    Oh… my… freaking… Gah… THAT’S the Iraqi Army who’s eventually going to ‘stand up’ while we ‘stand down’?

    We may not be able to leave that freakin’ place until 3012. My God, the kids in our grade school’s Special Ed class are more coordinated.

  25. 25
    Mike W says:

    Is this Abu Ghraib? Why are we torturing these poor fools? I demand a full congressional investigation!!

    Damn sure is funny though!

  26. 26
    D-Chance. says:

    Konrad Says:

    uh oh, we’ll be there for a long time if we continue with the ‘we stand down as they stand up’ meme…

    note to self… you’re slow on that ‘submit comment’ thing.

  27. 27
    Bombadil says:

    Instead of training them in Iraq, maybe we should send them to Manila. They seem to have a better program.

  28. 28
    Jake says:

    If they need aerobic exercise, can’t they just make them run?

    And does anyone living in Iraq really need aerobic excercise? I imagine the average heart rate is 120 bpm (resting).

  29. 29
    gypsy howell says:

    It seems pretty clear to me, what with the dance routine from the guy in the center and the whole YMCA shtick, that it’s the Iraqis laughing at us, not the other way around.

  30. 30
    specialcase says:

    The BTTF mashup is good, but I think this The Shining one is more of a brilliant about-face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMIpkQJt02g

  31. 31
    calipygian says:

    You have not seen funny until you see Martin Scorsese’s Sesame Street. Bert asking Ernie if Ernie fucked his wife is maybe one of the funniest things ever.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiKBoLXg5Cw

  32. 32
    Tom S says:

    Where the Monty Python “queer” close order dril?

  33. 33
    Tisse says:

    What’s “the greatest mash-up of all time”? I clicked and says video is no longer available.

  34. 34
    Warren Terra says:

    Darn, Specialcase beat me to touting the Shining! trailer.

  35. 35
    Bombadil says:

    Where the Monty Python “queer” close order dril?

    Ask, and ye shall receive.

  36. 36
    Bombadil says:

    Or here. (A bit longer).

  37. 37
    Karma says:

    or…
    How sad is it that our army can’t even teach them to do jumping jacks?

    It’s really NOT funny at all. Tell me again, how many BILLIONS of dollars are we spending on this?

  38. 38
    kerryinalaska says:

    I’m still laughing after reading all the comments so far. I gotta tell you that had nothing to do with not knowing how to exercise, for a couple of those guys it was blatant lack of coordination. Are we sure this is an ARMY unit and not some med wards daily outside drill? Jesus, I don’t believe a couple of those, well, jerks, could be trusted with forks in their hands. Try and feed them and they’d poke their eyes out.
    thats funny stuff but sort of worrying too. Gotta go watch it again.

  39. 39
    MobiusKlein says:

    Is it a fake? Why are they counting in English if it’s an Iraqi training session.

  40. 40
    Tsulagi says:

    LOL, I keep coming back to this vid too.

    Thank you GOP for a most awesome nation building adventure! Nothing quite sums up your skillz like the recruits in this video.

  41. 41
    rusty says:

    This recent football play is pretty funny…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoqKoaoTUWQ

  42. 42
    JWW says:

    John,

    Again, you laugh and display the we can’t do it failure attitude. Ass first, ass always. The fool is you, the laugh is on you, the disgrace you carry. Laugh all you want, crawl, walk, run will work for the simple task you mock. It may also work for those willing too fight in the future. Go ahead and laugh, as with all the pissant followers you depend on. Most of them would look like the same circle jerk.

  43. 43
    mike montague says:

    Hahaha! Stupid brown people can’t do jumping jacks.

  44. 44
    Dreggas says:

    Bombadil Says:

    It’s worth waiting until you get home, Dreggas.

    I just watched it and I believe a few of them were auditioning for dancing with the stars.

  45. 45
    OxyCon says:

    Here’s a Youtube video of Sammy Davis Jr. performing “Mr. Bojangles” to honor the Iraqi in the middle.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDM8y8fV3bg

  46. 46
    OxyCon says:

    I knew a man Ali Bojangles and he’d dance for you
    Without shoes
    With black hair, a ragged shirt, and baggy pants
    The old soft shoe
    He didn’t jump too high, not too high
    Jumping Jacks were too hard to do

    Ali Bojangles, Ali Bojangles
    Ali Bojangles, dance

  47. 47
    Dreggas says:

    OxyCon,

    I was thinking of re-dubbing it with Madonna’s Vogue. Maybe I’m too sexy by right said fred (ya know, he’s too sexy for pt) something like that.

  48. 48
    Dreggas says:

    Of course I see a new mission for the Lord Of The Stance…

  49. 49
    Jon H says:

    If you think the Iraqi jumping jacks are impressive, just imagine what the Earth-conquering Iranians can do!

  50. 50
    JWW says:

    As I thought,

    The ants crawled for the woodwork and have spoken. Your thought process, your ethic, your pride have displayed your failure. You are the trash, the failure of parenting, the failure of our education system, you are born as but not Americans.

    Drag Ass,
    As always, you lead the pack of the ill-willed or ill-informed. Tell me, where does your Lord fit into this scheme. Do you you use his name for your punch line? Is he only a part of you life when it is convenient? You are a pawn on the board, and an early and misplayed pawn at that.

  51. 51

    […] Freedom Is On the, Umm, March? […]

  52. 52
    Dreggas says:

    JWW Says:

    Drag Ass,
    As always, you lead the pack of the ill-willed or ill-informed. Tell me, where does your Lord fit into this scheme. Do you you use his name for your punch line? Is he only a part of you life when it is convenient? You are a pawn on the board, and an early and misplayed pawn at that.

    Illwilled? Only towards sheep and morons, Ill-informed? Highly unlikely. As for leading, I’d rather lead than follow thanks.

    Of course I still can’t decide whether it’s funny or sad that you don’t have the slightest fucking clue as to what I am talking about….

  53. 53
    JWW says:

    Drag Ass,

    It always takes a good follower to make a good leader. I can’t refer to any leader, that was born as one. Many have been born in the position of such, but none have succeeded, without a mentor. Before you ask ,(an ass born question)? All good leaders either learn from past and present, father, mother, king, queen, or whatever leaders may have come before them. Nobody is a born leader, you are ill-informed. You are quite naive, your thought process allows you to be so. You follow, you listen, you hear, only one state of mind. We live in a much larger world than that.

    John’s, disgust, hatred and personal failure do not need too drag you along.

    I will say plainly,

    John was and is a failure, he failed in the military, he has failed as a blogger. You post at a blog webpage that carries 20 to 40 members. Hell I get 400 Spams a day. Find a place that give’s you an opportunity to both agree and disagree. I visit this site only for the easy feeding. That, is not said in disrespect, it was meant for those who are willing, able and ready too step outside. There are plenty of blogs out there, the same, a little different, and totally opposite. Read them.

  54. 54
    Dreggas says:

    JWW,

    Thanks but no thanks. John has done quite well as a blogger and at least has the honesty and integrity to change his mind about things. As for your insults regarding his military service kindly have a nice big cup of shut the fuck up, he served.

    Now as for leading vs following. I “follow” no one, I make my own path. If I learned that from anyone it was my father but he’s become just as much a sheep as the rest of the bleeting bed wetting right. So again I prefer to take my own path, if and when I find others travelling the same road I will travel with them, it so happens that John and the majority here are on that path too so I consider them companions.

    Maybe it is you who need to stop following eh?

  55. 55
    Dreggas says:

    Oh and you obviously mistake me for someone who gives a flying fuck how many people are on a web site or how much “spam” a persons blog gets. First off ever think people don’t really like you that much and sign you up to BE spammed?

    Second, as I said I’ll take quality of quantity any day. I get quality here minus the condescending asshatish attitude.

  56. 56
    Heywood Jablomy says:

    Man that jww guy really makes me long for the waterboard. He’s more pompous than 80s arena rock. Notice the tone — he doesn’t ask to be read – no – he DEMANDS to be read. When you’re out of bullets, well, you throw the gun.

    Yup, that Iraqi army is gonna be a bulwark in the Middle East. A bulwark, say I. … But … wait a minute — did you peer into that video? i could swear I saw a reindeer in the background. Why, this isn’t an Iraqi training video. It’s a wily IslamoFascist hoax! Slow it down. See … the guys are spelling out Bush Sucks with their bodies, in French! (“Buch Suce.”) The number of eyelets on their boots is one below standard issue too. And the drill chief’s wrist watch – it isn’t set to Zulu time.

    Beauchamp … that name is Frog, ain’t it? Why you, Beauchamp! (Falls to knees, thrusts fists into air, grimaces.) BEAUCHAAAMMMMPPPP!!!!!!!

  57. 57
    jake says:

    Man, there must be a lot of public libraries in Just Wanking Wildly’s neck of the woods.

    Either that or people keep buying him Greyhound tickets to somewhere else.

  58. 58
    OxyCon says:

    Do you guys know who this JWW assclown is?
    What’s the name of his blog? “Confucius on Crack”?

  59. 59
    nightjar says:

    Kinda reminds me of my old unit.

  60. 60
    jake says:

    re the video: You know what? Those are kids. I’m going to be charitable and assume they’re not being trained for combat.

    Weird.

  61. 61
    Dreggas says:

    OxyCon Says:

    Do you guys know who this JWW assclown is?
    What’s the name of his blog? “Confucius on Crack”?

    from the way he talks it must be spam-a-lot

  62. 62
    Dreggas says:

    nightjar Says:

    Kinda reminds me of my old unit.

    you too? We had one guy that couldn’t do as much as 3 push ups.

  63. 63
    Gold Star for Robot Boy says:

    We had one guy that couldn’t do as much as 3 push ups.

    And then our last night on the Island, he killed Sgt. Hartman and himself. Damn, Pyle was weird.

  64. 64
    merlallen says:

    I’m damn glad I work alone. That video killed me.

  65. 65
    Bombadil says:

    JWW:

    Hell I get 400 Spams a day.

    Sad, isn’t it? Just buy one penis-enlargement device, and they’re all over you.

  66. 66
    Anon says:

    Interestingly, the way a lot of those guys are doing jumping jacks looks almost identical to the way my autistic 4 year old does them. More than being amusing, I think this is fairly compelling evidence that the Iraqi army is recruiting soldiers with some pretty serious problems.

  67. 67
    notway says:

    I think this is a hoax. Iraqi army has not worn a solid green uniform since the invasion in 2003, and what are those funny turbans on their heads?

  68. 68
    actor212 says:

    That middle one!

    I can hear the DI screaming now…

    “I said ‘Fosse Fosse Fosse, Madonna Madonna Madonna, TWYLA,’ dammit! Now drop and give me Balanchine!”

  69. 69
    FastMovingCloud says:

    “1. This is Iraq 2006, AD, not Iraq 2006, BC. The jumping jack is not some new and foreign concept to these guys.”

    That’s kind of a chauvinistic attitude. It is probably a very “foreign concept”. Jumping Jacks are a western exercise and these guys may have never even seen it done before much less actually done it themselves.

  70. 70
    FastMovingCloud says:

    That’s not to say I didn’t have a hearty laugh with this video. I did, indeed. And some of the comments are darned amusing, too.

  71. 71
    JWW says:

    Said before,

    You all are so funny. Give me a moment too filter up through the crap. Found my name.

    Dreggas,

    As far as followers and leaders are concerned, you can’t make a distinction. If you are not a good follower, you are not a good leader. Good leaders are not born so, they are a creation of good mentors. If you have or had a mentor, you are a follower. The skill set, the mind set, are taught. Leaders created by birth or inheritance, will fail if they haven’t somebody to guide them. Each man has his own mind and idea’s but somebody in your life has influenced you, you say to yourself that is what I want to be or that is what I don’t want to be. So take your Daniel Boone trail blazer BS and eat it. He didn’t do it because he was born Daniel Boone. G.S.Patton, was not a great general at birth. You were not destined to be Draggas at birth, somebody or many influenced you and your life to get you where you are.

  72. 72

    […] Balloon Juice: this video of the our soldiers training the Iraqi Army. Stop laughing. In fairness, jumping jacks … are an unnatural calisthenic. … Ok. Start laughing again. The comments there all follow along. […]

  73. 73

    […] From the archives: […]

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  3. […] Freedom Is On the, Umm, March? […]

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