Dope Floats

I was doing my daily chores (reading Red State, Malkin, Hugh, etc.), when I came across something equal parts terrifying and intriguing:

From Old World sophistication to New World energy, South America is a balance of opposites. Life pulsates with remarkable diversity in South America – not only in its music, but in its widely contrasting landscapes, cultures and cuisines.

It is a land of stunning extremes – the world’s highest waterfall, longest mountain range, driest desert and largest rain forest. Stretching from the steaming Amazon basin to the bone-dry Atacama desert to the glacial peaks of the Andes, South America contains enough beauty and soul-searing diversity to quicken the pulse of the most experienced traveler.

Inclusions, Pricing & Details

* Per person fares begin at $6095 based on double occupancy.
12 Nights Aboard the All Suite – All Balcony Seven Seas Mariner
* $200 per suite Shipboard Credit
* Special Reduced Fare Economy Class Airfare Available
* Private Welcome Reception with Hugh & David
* Exclusive Seminars with Hugh and David
* Private Farewell Reception with Hugh and David
* Select Wine and Spirits & All Non- Alcoholic Beverages Anytime
* On Ship Gratuities Included
* New bookings only
* Certain restrictions apply
* Offer is capacity controlled, subject to availability
* Single Supplement applies
* Deposit of 10% due at time of booking.
* Final Payment is due by November 21, 2007.
* Rates do not include port charges of $323.00 per person, fuel surcharge may apply
* Remember you must book your cruise package through Sterling Travel, Inc. to attend the Hugh Hewitt exclusive events

We have to get someone on this ship, and I know who is perfect for this mission.

*** Update ***

Apparently, other cruises of comparable lengths cost only $3000. The other $3095 for this cruise must be the cost of stupid. Apparently Hugh is unaware we can get that for free when we read his website.

Photographic rendition of Cruising with Hugh, here.






133 replies
  1. 1
    DougJ says:

    It really says “Cruise South America” with a picture of a boyish, clean-cut, well-turned out Hugh Hewitt flashing his best Ryan Seacrest smile?

  2. 2
    DougJ says:

    Is there anyone someone could photoshop Hugh into this picture for the movie “Cruising”?

  3. 3
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    South America contains enough beauty and soul-searing diversity to quicken the pulse of the most experienced traveler.

    Hewitt will be there as an antidote for those who dislike beauty and soul-searing diversity.

  4. 4
    Dreggas says:

    DougJ Says:

    Is there anyone someone could photoshop Hugh into this picture for the movie “Cruising”?

    Forget that, just photoshop in Larry Craig (bathroom cruiser) and Mark Foley (Internet Cruiser) with special guest Ted Haggard (Gay prostitute cruiser) and then put that out as an advertisement.

    Cruising South America, with experts On Cruising.

  5. 5
    John Cole says:

    It is a land of stunning extremes – the world’s highest waterfall, longest mountain range, driest desert and largest rain forest.

    The world’s dumbest man…

  6. 6
    capelza says:

    I hate to be guilty of “lookism” but is that really the best picture of hm?

    If so..OMG. Doofus personified. he lloks like a SNL parody of…sumthin’.

  7. 7
    Zifnab says:

    Didn’t the NRO do this on a trip to Alaska? When John talks about rats fleeing a sinking ship, I didn’t think he ment conservatives were actively exiting the country.

  8. 8
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    For only $6095 you, too, can see Hugh Hewitt flash his man teats at Copacabana Beach!

  9. 9
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    Be sure to pack everything except your brain. Oh, right, people who listen to HH don’t have a brain to begin with!

    Also includes a private tour of Dumbya’s new property in South America. Cocaine not included.

  10. 10
    DougJ says:

    I didn’t think he ment conservatives were actively exiting the country.

    Can you blame them? After all, they think it’s going to be a Caliphate after the 2008 election.

  11. 11
    Ryan S. says:

    That couldn’t be a more “I want to murder you in your sleep” smile. Quick someone come up with a Halloween mask, I know what I want to be this year!

  12. 12
    Bombadil says:

    Hope he has better luck than Bill-O did.

    Great post title, by the way. You’re on a serious roll here.

  13. 13
    Jake says:

    It is a land of stunning extremes – the world’s highest waterfall, longest mountain range, driest desert and largest rain forest.

    Youngest children in the “oldest profession”…

  14. 14
    OxyCon says:

    Why is a boatload of right wing extremists sailing for the land of “Socialist Commie Left Wing Pinko Che Guevara”?

  15. 15
    Krista says:

    Oh god, I can’t stop laughing…

    (wipes tears from eyes)

    John, I think we should all take a field trip. Time for YearlyBalloonJuice, and I know JUST the venue!

  16. 16
    OxyCon says:

    Dreggas Says:

    Forget that, just photoshop in Larry Craig (bathroom cruiser) and Mark Foley (Internet Cruiser) with special guest Ted Haggard (Gay prostitute cruiser) and then put that out as an advertisement.

    ====================

    I just got a visual of Larry Craig as “Captain Merrill Stubing”, Ted Haggard as “Dr. Adam Bricker” and Mark Foley as “Gopher Smith”.

  17. 17

    I just checked Holland America. I can take a 16-day cruise from florida to Peru for $3000/person.

    Why would I want to pay twice the price and have to put up with Hugh Hewitt yammering on about how great Harriet Miers would be as chief justice?

  18. 18
    grumpy realist says:

    Ah, proving that a (dittohead) fool and his money are soon parted.

    You could think of it this way: an extra $6K squandered on a cruise backslapping with Hewitt is $6K that isn’t going to be donated to the local RNC or Moral Majority chapter.

  19. 19
    srv says:

    6K… Hmm. I’ll throw in a $100 for you or DougJ to go.

  20. 20
    Zifnab says:

    To be fair, the $6095 is for double occupancy.

  21. 21
    capelza says:

    I can’t believe nobody has said it yet:

    “Ship of Fools”

  22. 22
    Perry Como says:

    Do the staterooms come with wet suits?

  23. 23

    Ahmmm, I’m a ghey, and I wouldn’t do anything with the words “Cruise” and “Hugh Hewitt” in it.

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

  24. 24

    To be fair, the $6095 is for double occupancy.

    which means people occupy the room, and each pays $6095.

    If you get a room yourself, you have to pay $12,000

  25. 25
    Bombadil says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    BWAHHH-HAAAAA-HAAAAAA!!!

  26. 26
    bago says:

    What, snag some viagra from rush and go balls out in brazil. What could possibly go wrong?

  27. 27
    Dreggas says:

    OxyCon says:

    I just got a visual of Larry Craig as “Captain Merrill Stubing”, Ted Haggard as “Dr. Adam Bricker” and Mark Foley as “Gopher Smith”.

    Sung to the tune of love boat:

    Man Love, exciting and new
    Come aboard, we’ll assfuck you
    Man Love, Hugh’s sweetlips reward
    Let them go down, go down on you!
    Man Love boat soon will be making another run
    Man love boat Haggard has meth for everyone
    Set a course for lubrication
    your mind on a young paiges ass
    Man love won’t hurt anymore.
    It’s an open stall inside the bathroom door
    Man Love Boat! Man Love Boat!

  28. 28
    John Cole says:

    Ahmmm, I’m a ghey, and I wouldn’t do anything with the words “Cruise” and “Hugh Hewitt” in it.

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    I think we have a front-runner for quote of the year.

  29. 29

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    You win!

  30. 30
    NickM says:

    It’s the cruise for people who want to go whale watching and skeet shooting at the same time.

  31. 31
    Hubris says:

    Life pulsates with remarkable diversity in South America, much like the cellular activity in Hewitt’s breasts.

  32. 32
    Bombadil says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    John, is it at all possible to put up a link to this line, and any others that may come along that are as worthy, so that at the end of 2007 we may vote for Balloon Juice Quote of the Year? Just a running list would do it.

    That one is fucking brilliant.

  33. 33
    Dreggas says:

    Michael Demmons Says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    I thought that was the show on the main stage up on the poop-shoot deck?

    Seriously good one.

  34. 34
    Heywood Jablomy says:

    I’m seasick already.

    Are the Islamofascists aware of this? There’d better be some serious ethnic profiling of Malkin and D’Souza before you get me aboard this target-rich enviornment.

    By the way, we gotta give Condi her props for staring down that blood-handed woman t’other day. I mean she’s got noives of steel! I wonder how many times Cheney and Rummy have come at her like that. Practice makes perfect.

  35. 35
    r€nato says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    I was thinking “Comment of the Year” as well as soon as I read that, glad I am not the only one who was thinking that!

  36. 36
    Krista says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    Give the man the trophy, already.

  37. 37
    Tsulagi says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    That one is fucking brilliant.

    I got a ditto for that.

  38. 38
    Heywood Jablomy says:

    Do you think they’ll have “talk like a pirate day”? Or, more to the point, “talk like a parrot day.”

  39. 39
    r€nato says:

    Do you think they’ll have “talk like a pirate day”?

    I dunno, but it’s a sure bet they’ll have ‘Rear Admiral day’… every single night.

  40. 40
    r€nato says:

    (please note that I avoided the all-too-obvious ‘Butt Pirate Day’ joke)

  41. 41
    Mike says:

    Cruise ships have international crews, often including Indonesians and Malaysians. Hewitt must be planning to attack the Islamofascist conspiracy by undertipping.

  42. 42
    Tsulagi says:

    Do you think they’ll have “talk like a pirate day”?

    Nope, I’m thinking while half of them are doing Riverdance, the other half will dress up in police uniforms to arrest the bad, nasty, naughty boys.

  43. 43
    r€nato says:

    Stretching from the steaming bathhouses to the bone-hard Rio she-males to the gay show cabarets, South America contains enough hot male beauty and soul-searing sexual diversity to quicken the pulse of the most experienced down-low tourist.

    Fixed their typos.

  44. 44
    Bombadil says:

    Perhaps Greenwald’s nemesis, Dread Pundit Bluto will go along.

  45. 45
    UnkyT says:

    Holy shit, Hugh Hewitt is Stuart Smiley!

  46. 46
    Heywood Jablomy says:

    Whee – I like Balloon Juice!

    (Hey … that’s what Hugh Hewitt said.)

  47. 47
    r€nato says:

    Hugh Hewitt looks like one of those overalls-wearing dipshits which Stephen King sometimes plays in film adaptations of his books, with a dye job.

  48. 48
    Bombadil says:

    This has been quite the entertaining thread. Looks like John should be thanking whoever set him up with the Town Hall account instead of berating him/her/them. Comedy gold.

  49. 49
    Jake says:

    Michael Demmons wins, my computer monitor loses.

    OMG, my co-workers think I’m completely insane.

  50. 50
    gypsy howell says:

    I came for the snark, but I stayed for…. the snark.

    I know I’m going to laugh my ass off next time I see Riverdance while I’m flipping through the teevee channels.

    A trophy and a sparkling tiara for Michael Demmons please, John.

  51. 51
    Delia says:

    So, um, does the boat just reach the end of the line in Paraguay and everyone disembarks and goes looking for a bolt hole?

  52. 52
    r€nato says:

    So, um, does the boat just reach the end of the line in Paraguay and everyone disembarks and goes looking for a bolt hole?

    sadly, no…

  53. 53
    Dreggas says:

    Jake Says:

    Michael Demmons wins, my computer monitor loses.

    OMG, my co-workers think I’m completely insane.

    I solved that one early on by just acting insane, then I went back to reading blogs because I knew the result would be laughter.

  54. 54
    Dreggas says:

    You know john….maybe you should retitle this:

    “Where Dope and Soap Float”

    or something along those lines?

  55. 55
    Tom Hilton says:

    Apparently, other cruises of comparable lengths cost only $3000. The other $3095 for this cruise must be the cost of stupid.

    The stupid only costs about $795. The other $2300 is what you have to pay for Hugh Hewitt to keep his shirt on at the pool.

  56. 56
    Perry Como says:

    The other $2300 is what you have to pay for Hugh Hewitt to keep his shirt on at the pool.

    Wait until you see the Wet T-Shirts Against Islamofascism Contest.

  57. 57
    Bombadil says:

    Thanks, Perry. Now I have to go soak my eyes in bleach.

  58. 58
    Bruce Moomaw says:

    “All Balcony”? Isn’t that a misprint for “All Baloney”?

  59. 59
    Dreggas says:

    Bombadil Says:

    Thanks, Perry. Now I have to go soak my eyes in bleach.

    well it could have been phyllis schlafey…

  60. 60
    TomMil says:

    Does this make the Cruise Ship a frontline in the War on Terror like the Empire State Building, only floating?

    Man, how do follow that Michael Demmons line?

  61. 61
    Zuzu says:

    So, who is this “David” who gets to share Hugh’s seminar and reception duties?

  62. 62
    Jake says:

    “Where Dope and Soap Float”

    Soap on a rope floats?

    I feel sorry for the crew and non-participating passengers. “Who are these people and why do they keep offering me $20 to give me a blow job!?”

  63. 63
    Bombadil says:

    well it could have been phyllis schlafey…

    Jebus, now I have to go soak my brain in bleach!

  64. 64
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    They should rechristen the ship for the trip. I vote for the SS Bloviating Asshat.

    “… a three hour tour…”

    Great, a ship full of Thurston Howell the Thirds…

    Riverdance? I laughed so hard I thought I was going to barf! Hands down, quote of the year. No competition at all.

  65. 65
    Tom Hilton says:

    Wait until you see the Wet T-Shirts Against Islamofascism Contest.

    No way am I clicking that link. I suspect I’ve already seen it at Tbogg, although I’m trying very hard to repress that memory.

  66. 66
    Dreggas says:

    Zuzu Says:

    So, who is this “David” who gets to share Hugh’s seminar and reception duties?

    I bet he can really do a great rendition of “The plane boss, The Plane!”

  67. 67

    The stupid is provided gratis thanks to a generous grant from The Weekly Standard and donations from LGF readers.

    The other $3095 is to cover the cost of the Depends that will be issued prior to Hugh’s talks on Islamofascism and the daily wide stance lessons scheduled daily at 2:00pm in the Grand Ballroom.

  68. 68
    DougJ says:

    Hugh Hewitt looks like one of those overalls-wearing dipshits which Stephen King sometimes plays in film adaptations of his books, with a dye job.

    He really does. That’s a good call.

  69. 69
    Dreggas says:

    Jake Says:

    Soap on a rope floats?

    I feel sorry for the crew and non-participating passengers. “Who are these people and why do they keep offering me $20 to give me a blow job!?”

    I think that’s what the extra money is for, to pay for actors to pretend to be other passengers who know what is going on and like Hugh….

  70. 70
    Cain says:

    and goes looking for a bolt hole?

    We all know that’s not the hole they are looking for. If they see a hole they’ll feed around it like pirahna on a goat.

    cain

  71. 71
    Peter Johnson says:

    Nice to see that this place has turned into a sewer of homophobia.

  72. 72
    UnkyT says:

    So, who is this “David” who gets to share Hugh’s seminar and reception duties?

    Petraeus?

  73. 73
    John Cole says:

    Hugh Hewitt looks like one of those overalls-wearing dipshits which Stephen King sometimes plays in film adaptations of his books, with a dye job.

    I was thinking something along the lines of O Brother Where Art Thou, but same thing.

    Nice to see that this place has turned into a sewer of homophobia.

    Jeff Emanuel? Is that you?

  74. 74
    calipygian says:

    Cruise South America with Hugh Hewitt? What, the East Village isn’t close enough for him?

  75. 75
    libarbarian says:

    SERIOUS DANGER!!!

    DO NOT BOARD THIS BOAT!!!

    So many feet tapping on bathroom floors could easily set up resonance vibrations capable of rocking the boat until it capsizes.

    Seriously though, hasn’t the last few years totally changed the necessary implications of a large number of Republican males gathering for an extended period of floating isolation?

    ************************************************************
    “Are you a married, socially conservative, and firmly-heterosexual Republican with a wide stance? Don’t risk the horrible embarrassment of getting Craiged in a public police! Instead, be smart. Get away from all the family, friends, police, & press and enjoy 2 weeks isolated on a floating paradise with real men just like you. During the voyage we will also be stopping a several South American cities where you can enjoy the pristine beaches, impressive natural wildlife, and endless hordes of impoverished, but gorgeous, youths desperate for American currency!

    And remember….

    What happens on Hugh Hewitt’s boat stays on Hugh Hewitt’s boat!
    ************************************************************

  76. 76
    Jake says:

    I think that’s what the extra money is for, to pay for actors to pretend to be other passengers who know what is going on and like Hugh….

    95 bucks goes a long way out on the briny waves. I feel like John should compensate us for posting HH’s grinning phiz without a warning.

    Am I the only one who hears “I’m super! Thanks for asking!” when they look at the picture?

  77. 77
    DougJ says:

    Cruise South America with Hugh Hewitt? What, the East Village isn’t close enough for him?

    You’re behind the times. The East Village isn’t gay at all anymore. Unless gay New Yorkers have taken to wearing baseball caps backwards, downing shots of Patron and screaming “woo, fuck that”, and doing the white man’s overbite while they rock out to U2.

    It ain’t what it used to be. I’ll tell you that.

  78. 78
    Tax Analyst says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    Yeah, with all due respect to the many hilarious quotes I’ve read here that’s certainly right up there at the top. I tried to think of something more clever, but I’m afraid I’m all tapped out.

    Good stuff, Demmons.

  79. 79
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    John Cole Says:

    Hugh Hewitt looks like one of those overalls-wearing dipshits which Stephen King sometimes plays in film adaptations of his books, with a dye job.

    I was thinking something along the lines of O Brother Where Art Thou, but same thing.

    Nice to see that this place has turned into a sewer of homophobia.

    Jeff Emanuel? Is that you?

    ROFLMAO!

    This cruise ought to put a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘Be right back, I am on my way to the head.’

  80. 80
    Spartacvs says:

    $100, appears to be the premium for being entertained by Hewitt.

    You can book the same trip on the cruise company’s website, with no mention of Hugh.

    12 nights, leaving Manaus Feb 21 for Ft. Lauderdale on the Seven Seas Mariner for $5,995. Presumably one must make one’s own way to Manaus to begin the trip which may add a couple of bucks to the total, say $1500 – 2,000.

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    Comment of the year.

  81. 81
    libarbarian says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    I just want you to know that I’m totally stealing this. :)

  82. 82
    Clutch414 says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    Just give this person the damn trophy already!!!

  83. 83
    Clutch414 says:

    BTW…I’m a longtime lurker and a new poster. I’m so glad that you’ve finally come around to reality John. Bravo.

  84. 84
    Tim says:

    Nice to see that this place has turned into a sewer of homophobia.

    It’s quite possible that the funniest lines could have come from a gay individual. I have yet to see sexual preference trump a good sense of humor.

  85. 85
    UnkyT says:

    Of course, with all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms.

    Maybe this cruise is really the floating set of a new Mel Brooks movie.

  86. 86
    Punchy says:

    A little OT, but did you guys know this?

    The Little Green Footballs blog decided to condemn MSU-YAF for hosting Nick Griffin. In case you do not read Little Green Footballs, the blog is pro-Muslim, left-wing, politically correct, and basically a front for neoconservative foreign policy (instead of defending their culture, they want to build schools in the Anbar province). They are basically a puppet of the multiculturalists and believe that Islam is not the enemy of Western civilization and Christendom. Only Bush-bots read the Little Green Footballs blog.

    I admit I’m an idiot, but how is a blog both left-wing (which LGF is certainly not) and neoconservative? Is it now a slam to call what is actually a very right-wing blog, in effect, pro-Bush?

    Does Teh Stupid ever end?

  87. 87
    Jake says:

    leaving Manaus

    Typo?

  88. 88
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    Punchy, I like this quote from the link.

    Anonymous said…

    LGF is more a pro-Jewish pro-Israel blog, not pro-Muslim. There’s a decidedly leftish tilt to it, as comments exploring what must be done to defeat Islam are deleted and users banned.
    LGF is pretty milquetoast stuff, more for moderate Republicans who view politics as a sporting event over the other ‘team’.

    So if you discuss what needs to be done to defeat Islam, you are a right wing blog? But if you don’t allow discussion of it, then you are ‘leftist’?

    LGF, ‘milquetoast’? It is ‘more for Moderate Republicans’?

    My head hurts. And I thought I was on good drugs.

  89. 89

    The “apparently” funniest line came from me. I am openly gay, not concerned in the least about a joke here and there, especially since it was not a homophobic statement.

    Besides, I doubt anyone here is afraid (i.e., phobic) of homosexuals.

    Oooooh, I am also a Canadian, which I guess means I’m g,eh?

    (Pardon the blatant Canadianophobia.)

  90. 90
    Tim says:

    Michael, it wasn’t “apparently” funny it was DAMN funny !

  91. 91
    Jake says:

    I’m g,eh?

    T-shirt!

  92. 92
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    Oooooh, I am also a Canadian, which I guess means I’m g,eh?

    Goddammit, don’t you have an “off” button? I’m about to pass out here…

  93. 93
    rawshark says:

    Besides, I doubt anyone here is afraid (i.e., phobic) of homosexuals.

    I used to be but they don’t hit on me anymore so I’m good now.

  94. 94
    Anne Laurie says:

    What, no jokes yet about “Harry & David’s Fruitcake of the Month Club”? Either you guys are slipping, or I’m just ooooold. But then, so will Hugh’s cruisemates be, and I’m sure many of them are lifelong supporters of the original H&D’s tasty produce and far-right political campaigns.

    Coul that really be David Horowitz joining the Unsinkable Hughie Halfwit on a boat leaving U.S. coastal waters? And, if so, is there any way we can change the rules to keep them from coming back again?

    (Assuming, of course, that they’re not just using this as a chance to bolt for the Bush/Cheney compound in Paraguay without getting picked up by the War Crimes Tribunal… )

  95. 95
    Dreggas says:

    libarbarian Says:

    SERIOUS DANGER

    DO NOT BOARD THIS BOAT

    So many feet tapping on bathroom floors could easily set up resonance vibrations capable of rocking the boat until it capsizes it causes the right alignment to trigger the rise of R’Lyeh from the depths unleashing the great old one Cthulu upon the world to consume us all.

    Much Better

  96. 96
    Jake says:

    it causes the right alignment to trigger the rise of O’Rlyeh from the depths unleashing the great old one Cthulu upon the world to consume us all.

    Heh.

  97. 97
    bago says:

    What happens on Hugh Hewitt’s boat stays on Hugh Hewitt’s boat!“

    and usually on the walls of the bathroom stall, eh? hosers.

  98. 98
    Perry Como says:

    The “apparently” funniest line came from me. I am openly gay, not concerned in the least about a joke here and there, especially since it was not a homophobic statement.

    Hey Merle, I think we might have ourselves a self-hatin’ homersexual here.

  99. 99
    Dreggas says:

    Michael Demmons Says:

    The “apparently” funniest line came from me. I am openly gay, not concerned in the least about a joke here and there, especially since it was not a homophobic statement.

    Besides, I doubt anyone here is afraid (i.e., phobic) of homosexuals.

    Oooooh, I am also a Canadian, which I guess means I’m g,eh?

    (Pardon the blatant Canadianophobia.)

    Dude, wow…just wow.

  100. 100

    Jeff Emanuel? Is that you?

    Nope. Just another randy Johnson hanging out, trolling for some manly fun.

  101. 101
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    Oh boy John, you have really done it now! We have a resident gay (or g’eh) guy, and a Canadian to boot (or is that ‘boout’). You can expect to be denounced (except by Jeff Emanuel!) any minute as a left wing rag.

    Michael, welcome to the nuthouse! ;)

  102. 102
    Dreggas says:

    Jake Says:

    it causes the right alignment to trigger the rise of O’Rlyeh from the depths unleashing the great old one Cthulu upon the world to consume us all.

    Heh.

    Heh and improved…though the thought of O’Reilly being the size of that city is undescribably horrible…much like Cthulu himself.

  103. 103
    chopper says:

    Am I the only one who hears “I’m super! Thanks for asking!” when they look at the picture?

    not anymore. jesus, now i can’t get that out of my head. calgon, take me away!

  104. 104
    nightjar says:

    Peter Johnson Says:

    Nice to see that this place has turned into a sewer of homophobia.

    No phobias here. Think of it as an all inclusive multi-cultural sewer.

  105. 105
    Dreggas says:

    nightjar Says:

    Peter Johnson Says:

    Nice to see that this place has turned into a sewer of homophobia.

    No phobias here. Think of it as an all inclusive multi-cultural sewer.

    Personally I have no phobia’s and am not part of any “ist” group. I hate everyone equally.

  106. 106
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    Yup. I am fair minded, I despise everyone equally. Including myself.

  107. 107
    Zuzu says:

    “David” mystery solved:

    http://www.sterlingtravelinc.com/cruises_009.shtml

    Ewww. Just ewwww.

  108. 108
    The Other Andrew says:

    Personally, I’d love to see a social sci-fi “Lord of the Flies”-like story about this cruise getting stranded on an island. Hardcore conservatives putting their beliefs about society to a practical test! I picture lots of guns, lots of tribalism, not much order, not much in the way of any long-term solutions to deal with the problem…

    …oh, right, we already have Iraq.

  109. 109
    Heywood Jablomy says:

    At least we’re a sewer!

    That g’eh line is GREAT. Canadians are funny bastards.

    Can you make something out of poop deck shuttlecock?

  110. 110
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    Heywood Jablomy Says:


    Can you make something out of poop deck shuttlecock?

    I need my mind washed after that one.

    Great name! Now we just need Neil Downe and Ben Dover…

  111. 111

    We have a resident gay (or g’eh) guy, and a Canadian to boot (or is that ‘boout’).

    Nah, I’ve always been here, and link to John quite frequently from my own blog.

    Just go to my site and search on “Balloon”… wait, no, that won’t narrown anything down.

    Try “Jui…”

    Nah, forget that one, too.

    Take my word for it?

  112. 112

    […] Earlier today, the birth of a minor quip in the “Cruise South America with Hugh Hewitt” thread: […]

  113. 113
    Perry Como says:

    Nah, I’ve always been here, and link to John quite frequently from my own blog.

    Just go to my site and search on “Balloon”… wait, no, that won’t narrown anything down.

    Try “Jui…”

    Nah, forget that one, too.

    Take my word for it?

    Bookmarked.

  114. 114
    Krista says:

    Michael Demmons Says:

    The “apparently” funniest line came from me. I am openly gay, not concerned in the least about a joke here and there, especially since it was not a homophobic statement.

    Besides, I doubt anyone here is afraid (i.e., phobic) of homosexuals.

    Oooooh, I am also a Canadian, which I guess means I’m g,eh?

    (Pardon the blatant Canadianophobia.)

    I have not been so proud to be Canadian since we won the Olympic gold in hockey. Welcome, Michael!

  115. 115
    OxyCon says:

    UnkyT Says:

    Holy shit, Hugh Hewitt is Stuart Smiley!

    =========================

    To me he always looks like the kid from “Christmas Story” all grown up.
    http://www.questexperiences.co.....0story.jpg

  116. 116
    jake says:

    I hate everyone equally.

    Fuck you.

  117. 117
    Dreggas says:

    jake Says:

    I hate everyone equally.

    Fuck you.

    And Fuck you you fucking fuck. Fuck 1000% Fuck you until your asshole is great big Donkey Asshole!

  118. 118
    Randy Paul says:

    Please god, let it include a favela tour.

  119. 119
    CruzBustamove says:

    I’m good enuff…I’m smart enuff…and, doggonit, people want to cruise with me!

  120. 120
    jake says:

    From the itinerary:

    Parintins, BRAZIL — This small village on Tupinambarana Island is situated in the largest river archipelago of the mid-Amazon. This twocentury [sic] old village is rich in Indian culture, as celebrated with an annual Boi Bumba festival.

    Gonna be a lot of disappointed cruisers out there.

    Maybe.

    Oh well, there’s always the Specially Modified Wet Suit contest.

  121. 121
    Dreggas says:

    I heard Rush was skipping this one because there were no stops in Trinidad/Tobago

  122. 122
    jake says:

    And Fuck you you fucking fuck.

    [Clears throat]

    You’re the meanest,
    you suck the horses penis,
    You’re the meanest,
    you’re the horses ass!
    Every since you found it,
    all you do is pound it,
    You’re the meanest,
    you’re the horses ass!

  123. 123
    Dreggas says:

    jake Says:

    [Clears throat]

    You’re the meanest,
    you suck the horses penis,
    You’re the meanest,
    you’re the horses ass!
    Every since you found it,
    all you do is pound it,
    You’re the meanest,
    you’re the horses ass!

    Cock sucking mother fucking two balled bitch

  124. 124

    […] 10/30/2007 The Hugh Hewitt CruisePosted by: MichaelWith all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms. […]

  125. 125
    UnkyT says:

    OxyCon Says:

    UnkyT Says:

    Holy shit, Hugh Hewitt is Stuart Smiley!

    =====================

    To me he always looks like the kid from “Christmas Story” all grown up.

    Will the real Hugh Hewitt please stand up.
    http://www.shiftf12.com/hugh/

    Also, I don’t know why, but I always think Stuart Smiley when it is really Stuart Smalley. I’ll blame it on a decade and a half of drinking too much.

  126. 126
    jake says:

    Cock Dick Cheney sucking mother Bush fucking two balled bitch BARBARA STREISAND!

    So there.

  127. 127
    r€nato says:

    Does Teh Stupid ever end?

    no. This has been…

    seriously… I would like to propose an alternative theory for why Right Blogistan is such an endless source of stupid.

    You see, they realize now that they have made themselves the endless butts of jokes, by everybody from Jon Stewart to even John Cole, all of whom sound like comic geniuses when riffing on the ample material given them by the likes of Jeff Goldstein and Hugh Hewitt.

    So, in order to prevent all future mocking and satirizing of the Right, they are deliberately engaging in rhetoric so asinine and hard-to-believe that it is simply impossible to satirize.

    I mean, really… after all is it possible to tell the difference between a true wingnut and a spoof any longer? I rest my case.

  128. 128
    Dan Broughton says:

    I think Glenn Greenwald would be the perfect companion. He cruises all the time, and he spends a lot of his time in Brazil already. Maybe he could confuse the poor boy with links and logic and such, thus overloading the old Hewitt-Packard, forcing him to blow a circuit, and Hughie boy could careen into the sea.

  129. 129
    bjacques says:

    Sorry, can’t make it.

    I’ll be aboard the Sadly, No Zeppelin (filled with 100% non-flammable Balloon Juice, natch) Round the World Cruise, with stops in London, Amsterdam, Paris, Rome, Moscow, Tokyo, Port Watson and Rio!

    Capacity is limited to 300 passengers. The first 30 bookings include a complimentary bottle of Absinthe!

  130. 130
    Dan Someone says:

    Um… “Hugh & David”? Whenever I read that, I immediately think of David Sedaris and his long-time boyfriend, Hugh.

    What exactly is this cruise all about?

  131. 131
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  1. […] 10/30/2007 The Hugh Hewitt CruisePosted by: MichaelWith all those social conservatives in one place, it’ll probably sound like Riverdance in the bathrooms. […]

  2. […] Earlier today, the birth of a minor quip in the “Cruise South America with Hugh Hewitt” thread: […]

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