Yoda, or an Army Officer?

Now it is time for this week’s game, which we will call “Yoda or an Army Officer.” Below are a series of quotes. Your goal is to determine if they were uttered by Jedi Master Yoda or Col. Steve Boylan.

1.) “Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.”

2.) “I am interested in this issue. What I am doing about it does not concern you. ”

3.) “Do or do not; there is no try.”

4.) “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?”

5.) “Interesting is what I find it.”

6.) “No! No different. Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.”

7.) “Pray tell, where do you think he is and how long have you fantasized that he has been here?”

8.) “Always in motion the future is.”

9.) “Good, bad or indifferent…I will not judge. That is our system and we must work with it.”

10.) “That is why you fail.”

Answers below the fold. Good luck!

Answers:

1.) Yoda
2.) Col. Boylan
3.) Yoda
4.) Yoda
5.) Col. Boylan
6.) Yoda
7.) Col. Boylan
8.) Yoda
9.) Col. Boylan
10.) Yoda

It wasn’t easy, was it? Clearly Col. Boylan was channeling the force.






61 replies
  1. 1
    neil says:

    No, it was pretty easy.

  2. 2

    Last night, this conversation having I was!

    Touche!

  3. 3
    Jake says:

    4. confused me for a second.

    I think your next contest should pit Boylan against Owens:

  4. 4
    atari_age says:

    I’m kicked that you picked up on that – I thought it was just me being a geek. It’s #5 that made the link for me.

    That whole story is so bizzare, and the odd grammar just adds to the weirdness.

  5. 5
    Davebo says:

    It doesn’t matter because the Colonel never sent the email.

    And even if he did he was right to.

    Get it?

    CESSPOOL!

  6. 6
    scarshapedstar says:

    9 got me.

  7. 7
    El Cid says:

    John Cole has mocked the verbal style of a serving military officer in Iraq.

    This is exactly the moral equivalent of handing Osama bin Laden a suitcase nuclear weapon and a free flight to Washington DC.

    You are warned: the right wing blawrgosphere will not take this lying down. Well, actually they will, but they will type furiously as if they aren’t.

  8. 8
    jenniebee says:

    This is a man who has made a successful career in public relations, and he writes like this?

    Why haven’t I finished my novel yet? What am I doing with my life?

  9. 9
    Billy K says:

    That Yoda site isn’t very accurate.

    “Not victory Obi won. The shroud of the darkside has fallen. Begun the clone war has.”

    It’s “Not victory, Obi Wan. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun this clone was has.”

    I call for a full investigation.

    P.S. Didn’t even have to Google it, suckas!

  10. 10
    John Cole says:

    John Cole has mocked the verbal style of a serving military officer in Iraq.

    Are they even agreeing he wrote it now, or are we still doing that song and dance?

    This is exactly the moral equivalent of handing Osama bin Laden a suitcase nuclear weapon and a free flight to Washington DC.

    Actually, according to the comments section at Glenn’s, one right-wing blogger has already asserted that publishing Boylan’s email address was a gift to the terrorists.

  11. 11
    DougJ says:

    Does this mean Yoda is the one who created the first, fake email? That he used his Jedi powers to spoof the appropriate IP addresses?

    Why does Yoda hate America?

  12. 12
    ThymeZone says:

    Funny as hell, I think your post is.

    Amused I am.

  13. 13
    El Cid says:

    John Cole Says:

    John Cole has mocked the verbal style of a serving military officer in Iraq.

    Are they even agreeing he wrote it now, or are we still doing that song and dance?

    Apparently John Cole thinks it’s okay to make fun of something which possibly could have been done by a serving military officer in Iraq.

    The rightwing will proudly condemn as a traitor John Cole for daring to imagine that there possibly could be something one could imagine as having been done by a serving military officer in Iraq which hypothetically could be wrong, or made fun of.

    You shall not pass.

  14. 14
    capelza says:

    Actually, according to the comments section at Glenn’s, one right-wing blogger has already asserted that publishing Boylan’s email address was a gift to the terrorists.

    OMGZ! The terrorists will send him nasty e-mails! Between Bob Owens and snark from Sadr the guy doesn’t stand a chance.

  15. 15
    John Cole says:

    OMGZ! The terrorists will send him nasty e-mails! Between Bob Owens and snark from Sadr the guy doesn’t stand a chance.

    Given the past few weeks of idiocy, these guys probably thing a computer virus is fatal.

  16. 16
    Ugh says:

    9.) “Good, bad or indifferent…I will not judge. That is our system and we must work with it.”

    Wait wait wait. What is this three periods in a row thing? Did he really type three periods in a row? Hah! I just checked the full email and he did NOT type three periods in a row where you said he did !!!1!1!ONE!!1 John Cole hates America, apple pie and the little baby Jaysus!!!

    What do you mean he actually did type three periods in a row? That just proves my point!!!! If you truly loved America you would not have pointed that out in the first place. Another victory for the terrorist provided by the Dhimmicrats.

  17. 17

    OMGZ! The terrorists will send him nasty e-mails! Between Bob Owens and snark from Sadr the guy doesn’t stand a chance.

    Given the past few weeks of idiocy, these guys probably [think] a computer virus is fatal.

    Nah! Colonel Steve probably has a really big light saber to vanquish them with.

    I guess size does matter, eh?

  18. 18
    Dreggas says:

    Just a question for the Ex-Mil guys like myself here,

    Are any of you disturbed by the fact that this guy, who has a bird on his collar and is expected to lead men, can’t even respond to an email without it being 8-up?

    I mean seriously, I just hope this isn’t a reflection of the entire officer corps.

  19. 19
    jcricket says:

    Does this mean Yoda is the one who created the first, fake email? That he used his Jedi powers to spoof the appropriate IP addresses?

    A long time ago… in a galaxy far away… a jedi master was busy eating cheetos and spoofing emails from Darth Vader…

    I think that’s how it went.

  20. 20
    ConservativelyLiberal says:

    Watch, someone on the right will point out that with advancing technology, soon it will be possible for “teh turrists” to send suicide emails. Open the attachment and BOOM!

    I think I am going to head over to Symantec’s web site and see if they have released Norton Anti-Moron 2008 yet. I need something to protect my computer when I visit places like RedState, CY, CQ and so on.

  21. 21
    Davebo says:

    Are any of you disturbed by the fact that this guy, who has a bird on his collar and is expected to lead men, can’t even respond to an email without it being 8-up?

    Ask The Commissar.

  22. 22
    Jimmmmm says:

    Holy William Shawn, Col. ylan’s in syntactical trouble. Somebody activate the Woolcott Gibbs signal!!

  23. 23
    lysias says:

    Boylan isn’t just an O6 bird colonel. His specialty seems to be PR. I mean, at least his last three jobs have all been PR. What kind of publicist is he?

  24. 24
    Jimmmmm says:

    “Actually, according to the comments section at Glenn’s, one right-wing blogger has already asserted that publishing Boylan’s email address was a gift to the terrorists”

    Yeah, terrorists with a sophisticated sense of humor, maybe…

  25. 25

    […] John Cole / Balloon Juice:   Yoda, or an Army Officer? […]

  26. 26
    Starwarsgeek says:

    I know the Original Trilogy by heart, so it was child’s play for me. Others might have more difficulty though.

  27. 27
    KCinDC says:

    The Great Orange Satan himself has linked here and given his blessing to John. This can only mean trouble.

  28. 28
    Zifnab says:

    I know the Original Trilogy by heart, so it was child’s play for me. Others might have more difficulty though.

    It’s not so hard to decipher if you can distinguish wisdom from illiteracy.

  29. 29
    Zifnab says:

    Btw, John, you may not be the biggest fan of DKos, but the Big Orange Satan loves you to death. You’re two for two on the Kos frontpage regarding Col. Boylan.

  30. 30
    El Cid says:

    It’s not so hard to decipher if you can distinguish wisdom from illiteracy.

    Can there be those who decipher illiterately? Does that include deciphering innumerately?

  31. 31
    Delia says:

    A long time ago… in a galaxy far away… a jedi master was busy eating cheetos and spoofing emails from Darth Vader…

    I think that’s how it went.

    Corrupted the Jedi the cheetos did, leading them to the Dark Side, to neocons and Flying Keyboard adventures until their wits gave out.

  32. 32
    Chris Johnson says:

    Quote number five, the funny brings :D

  33. 33
    Sparkles the Iguana says:

    It’s not the grammar that’s weird, it’s the syntax.

  34. 34
    salvage says:

    OLLAI

    (Out loud Laughing am I)

  35. 35
    Cassius Chaerea says:

    Front paged by Kos you are.

  36. 36
    Jake says:

    Watch, someone on the right will point out that with advancing technology, soon it will be possible for “teh turrists” to send suicide emails. Open the attachment and BOOM!

    Wasn’t that a plot from X-Files or The Lone Gunmen?

    (Laugh at my geekness, you must)

  37. 37

    ‘Are any of you disturbed by the fact that this guy, who has a bird on his collar and is expected to lead men, can’t even respond to an email without it being 8-up?’

    What I want to know is who in the heck plans an invasion and doesn’t send enough men to guard all of the ammo dumps and weapons caches, then turns a blind eye while the local population loots them at will. That has to be one of the biggest strategic blunders in recorded history.

  38. 38

    I can’t decide who you hate more: the troops or Jedis!

  39. 39

    Thus is it not, Cassius. Rather, twice is Cole FP’ed by kos today. Never have I been FP’ed — (not to mention cleverer) cole funnier than me is.

  40. 40

    ‘…one right-wing blogger has already asserted that publishing Boylan’s email address was a gift to the terrorists.’

    Yeah, you could, like, totally use visual traceroute to expose his location! (Yes, I tried it. Thankfully the military is smart enough to block traceroute-related packets, thus thwarting the evil plans of Mr. Greenwald).

  41. 41

    Now you’ve done it John Cole. I have it on good authority that even as I type this, both the House and Senate are meeting behind closed doors to hammer out resolutions of condemnation.

  42. 42
    Dreggas says:

    salvage Says:

    OLLAI

    (Out loud Laughing am I)

    MALOIA

    (My Ass, Laughing Off I am)

  43. 43
    eyeball says:

    SHOTEST BOYLAN: “STUPID IS AS STOOPIT DO.”

    For what it’s worth I will lend credence to the possibility that Boylan has subcontracted some of his e-mail responses to a small cadre of Baghdad p.r. subordinates, one of whom might be responsible for the juvenile, unprofessional, snotty response to Glenn Greenwald, as well as some of the other flame-mails.

    I have to imagine that Boylan gets many hundreds of emails a day from outlets of all types, with bloggers a growing majority. It would be a 24/7 job to answer them all and still handle overall spin duties. But because Boylan wants to be the Voice, he lets a few subordidnates use his email account when he’s busy elswhere. i can’t really blame him for that. In theory they should be trusted pros who can speak in his name. The risk of course is of some arrogant loose cannon fubaring the setup with traceable off-the-reservation stupidnesses. Now Boylan can’t throw this prized peon under the bus. But he can’t lie and say he sent the email himself, So he chooses the weaseliest path – deny he sent it but don’t express worry that his email account is badly compromised. In any scenario, his cred is shot to bits.

  44. 44
    Chris says:

    Wasn’t that a plot from X-Files or The Lone Gunmen?

    (Laugh at my geekness, you must)

    No, but it was the plot of Neal Stephenson’s rather awesome Snow Crash. Sort of.

  45. 45
    The Other Andrew says:

    Somewhere, some terrorist is signing him up for a Richard Simmons e-newsletter.

  46. 46
    Travis says:

    Actually, according to the comments section at Glenn’s, one right-wing blogger has already asserted that publishing Boylan’s email address was a gift to the terrorists.

    What are they going to do? Send him anthrax in an attachment?

  47. 47
    jake says:

    Somewhere, some terrorist is signing him up for a Richard Simmons e-newsletter.

    I think you’re on to something: Thanks to DADT a soldier can be chucked out of the military based on hints and rumors. First they fill Boylan’s in-box with e-mails from JizzMasters. Then they acquire other service members’ e-mails. Next thing you know the US military is decimated. Back home the Pentagon suggests eradicating DADT but that touches off riots in states that begin with an “I.” The IslamoFascistJihadis slip into the country while we’re distracted and before you know it they’re in control and Osama bin Laden is ass-raping Ace of Basement on the steps of the Capitol.

    But other than that it would suck.

  48. 48
    Bentley Stanforth says:

    Ha, the first thing I thought when I read Boylan’s email wasn’t about the politicization of the military or how inappropriate his comments were, but that, jeez, this dude writes like Yoda. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

  49. 49
    fisheye says:

    Interesting is what I lost it.

    Dagobah, almost a Baghdad word jumble

  50. 50
    trishb says:

    No, but it was the plot of Neal Stephenson’s rather awesome Snow Crash. Sort of.

    And an X-files episode, Kill Switch from season 5 or so, co-written by William Gibson.

  51. 51
    MonkeyBoy says:

    eyeball said:

    … the possibility that Boylan has subcontracted some of his e-mail responses to a small cadre of Baghdad p.r. subordinates, one of whom might be responsible for the juvenile, unprofessional, snotty response to Glenn Greenwald, as well as some of the other flame-mails.

    I have to imagine that Boylan gets many hundreds of emails a day from outlets of all types, … . It would be a 24/7 job to answer them all and still handle overall spin duties.

    Boylan’s email to Greenwald was unsolicited. It was complaining about something Greenwald wrote.

  52. 52
    TenguPhule says:

    Fear leads to Anger. Anger Leads to Hate. Hate…leads to Wingnuttia.

  53. 53
    TenguPhule says:

    Always two there are. No more, no less.

    The master to hold power.

    And the apprentice to crave it.

  54. 54
    Punchy says:

    I just shat myself laughing reading this thread. Good times.

  55. 55

    I haven’t decided; he’s a political officer all right, but is he zampolit or a commissar?

  56. 56
    Zuzu says:

    Really, it’s almost art:

    To your question: Were there any truth to what was being said by Thomas?

    Answer: An investigation of the allegations were conducted by the command and found to be false. ….

    As to what will happen to him?

    Answer: ….. Under the various rules and regulations, administrative actions are not releasable to the public by the military on what does or does not happen.
    It’s official!

  57. 57
    Delia says:

    What I want to know is who in the heck plans an invasion and doesn’t send enough men to guard all of the ammo dumps and weapons caches, then turns a blind eye while the local population loots them at will. That has to be one of the biggest strategic blunders in recorded history.

    Foolish blogger! Told the terrorists you have. Hitherto awed by Bush’s brilliance and Boylan’s PR blitz they were. Investigated by wingnuts you will be.

  58. 58
    Dissento says:

    Backwards ran sentences, until reeled the mind.

  59. 59
    mrmobi says:

    John, I got them all correct! I’m such a Star Wars geek it was easy, although number 5 gave me a pause.

    Will you enter my name in the drawing for the suitcase nuke?

  60. 60
    bartcopfan says:

    “I know the Original Trilogy by heart, so it was child’s play for me. Others might have more difficulty though.”

    Nah. I nailed 10 out of 10 having seen only bits and pieces of Star Wars I. (But I did read about Boylan’s bloviations at Digby’s just yesterday!)

  61. 61

    […] Quiz TimePosted by: MichaelYoda, or Col. Steve Boylan?      […]

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