Last week, I posted my predictions as to what would happen with the Petraeus testimony:
1.) Petraeus will enter the room, and Joe Lieberman and several other moderate Democrats will faint when they see him in Class A’s with lots of ribbons and medals.
2.) Petraeus will offer a mixed report, citing temporary tactical advantage and listing points of progress. Lots of cheese charts with arrows pointing in the right direction, but little to no sourcing, will be on display.
3.) Lieberman, freshly revived from his initial fainting, hears Petraeus utter the words “our brave men and women in uniform,” and promptly passes out again.
4.) Petraeus mentions, in passing, that we are facing difficulties. Democrats fail to press him. The difficulties are not mentioned specifically, but in vague generalities.
5.) Petraeus states the situation is too tenuous to drawdown troops before fall of 2008.
6.) Lieberman is revived yet again, only to hear the phrase “Al Qaeda in Iraq,” and promptly falls to the ground in shock and horror. Ron Paul gives him the finger.
7.) Afterwards, numerous Blue Dog Democrats state to the media that the General was impressive, and has assured them that we are making progress, and, as such, they are reluctant to do anything.
8.) Republicans, when speaking to the press, state that this is clear proof we are winning, and evidence that we do not need to cut and run like some of the Democrats want.
9.) Lindsey Graham, John McCain, and John Warner all state how impressed they are, but note that they have some unspecfied concerns and that we need to proceed cautiously.
10.) Some cranky Democrat notes that there was no real information presented, and wants to have some hard data to compare to the numerous negative reports we have received from independent organizations. Michelle Malkin, Hugh Hewitt, NRO, and the Weekly Standard promptly call him a traitor. Malkin breaks out a cheerleader outfit. Michael O’Hanlon goes on Hardball and claims the GAO is the most corrupt organization in Washington.
11.) The rest of the media cover the story until about 7:45 EST, at which point it is learned that Lindsey Lohan may have smoked pot while in rehab. The Petraeus story dies.
12.) Seven more members of the military die.
How did I do?
Zifnab
1, 3, 6) can be seen here.
I don’t know if Lieberman got a case of the vapors so much as he got a cause of the “Very Serious People”-itus.
2) You already covered admirably. Lots of pretty pictures. Lots of lines going in the right direction. As cleek pointed out, we’re going to get a pony at some point.
Pb
You had #12 pegged. :(
Alexandra
#11 wasn’t Lindsay Lohan, it was Brittany Spears has a pot belly.
whippoorwill
I don’t know John, I watched about two hours until the looks on Crocker’s and Petraeus’s face started reminding me of when my Grandmother used to force a slug of Castor Oil down my gullet. I’d as soon not remember that.
Librarian
John, how come you haven’t been booted out of Pajamas Media yet?
bago
RE: #12 .
What’s it like to be eerily prescient?
Jimmmmm
You didn’t say whether the stripes on Lieberman’s repp tie went from top left or top right. Otherwise, pretty canny, John.
timb
Re; #10
Michael Savage AND Protein Wisdom were angry that questions were even asked of the two saintly gents. Savage called it a show trial, akin to Stalin’s purges. Jeff at Protein Wisdom noted that anyone who questions them is questioning the OUR TROOPS AND THEIR SACRIFICE and is out of bounds:
Hannity was also up in arms yesterday re: the temerity of elected representatives questioning a General.
Who are these authoritarians and when did they trash Goldwater and conservatism?
Tom Hilton
I had exactly the same reaction. That’s just spooky.
over_educated
I thought nine members of the military died today. Proof that you are a fool John and don’t know what you are talking about!
Allow me to get out my sandbox model to further humiliate you by showing you exactly how wrong you were…
Tsulagi
Pretty damn good. Just one minor tweak with hindsight…
Nikki
Like shooting fish in a barrel, hey John?
JWW
John,
I have found it quite disgusting. Your so called predictions were just “pre edited media hype”, like you 100’s of others had done the same, each adding their own spin. You all however did nothing but add your own slutty version to the mix.
The comments above show how disgusting we have become. Do you take pride in those comments.
John Cole
That was actually coherent, JWW. The pain pills and liquor haven’t kicked in yet, have they..
JWW
No John,
It’s your site, you select the readers and responders. It is the content of your writings that draw them. Usually it is not your initial post, it’s the responses that produce the ire. Give me a few moments and I will go adjust my attitude. Drugs and drink are not my thing.
I don’t live in a corner, I look at many points of view. Yours being one of them.
Duane
I thought it was a great post, John. I even showed it to a co-worker.
And FWIW, Britney Spears looks pretty damn good for having two kids, and for just being a sleazy fucktoy in general. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.
JWW
I forgot, I drove over to Trinity University today. I met with a professor and kindly asked him, “could your please interpret the following” and so you have my first legible reponse.
Comment #12
When you were deployed, what would you think of an American, let alone a fellow soldier laying odds on how many would die today?
JWW
John,
One last question, If I were the parent, brother,sister or spouse of a soldier who died on the day of your post(comment #12). How would you respond to them? In a public forum.
John Cole
Am I really going to have to spend the night explaining to you that guessing the number of people that are killed in Iraq is not the same as demanding they stay there where they will be killed? And that one is substantively worse, and one, in fact, isn’t even bad.
Sorry I helped get them in this mess, and sorry I didn’t do more to get them home earlier.
JWW
Duane,
You exemplify, my point. You wouldn’t “help an old lady cross the street” you are so preoccupied in yourself. You are funny though, you would beg for assistance if you cut your finger.
JWW
John,
You did not”help get them into this mess” as you so name it”this mess”. It is a war and you had and never have had an effect in the process that brought us to war. I never inferred any such thing. No you really shouldn’t lose any sleep over”making odds on how many will die today” just remember, some of those you served with are still there. Some are there because they want to be, the others, they are there because our constitution states they will be.
Duane
JWW,
I’d gladly assist you if you needed help crossing the street. I never miss a chance to help an old lady, or even someone that acts like one.
JWW
Duane,
I will forgo that offer. If there were danger on that street(an oncoming vehicle with no intention to stop, a sudden burst of gunfire” I would be left alone. There was no use for you in the first place. Your weak mind would overrule whatever heartt you had. Your true intent”save youself”. That’s okay, as long as I knew of such before you offered me your hand.
John Cole
And the liquid dinner kicks in. Keep engaging him, he gets really funny around 11pm EST.
JWW
No John,
You get on shakey ground after 11PM. All of your minions go away. You have nobody to defend you. But as I have seen it, nobody has any interest in any of you posted BS after 24 hours. You spew your garbage, and by the time the sun goes down, it smells so bad, nobody wants to go near it.
And back to Duane,
John must be your friend and neighbor, the statement stands.
Ben
You really can watch the grammar deteriorate there – ah, but now it’s 11PM EST, and everyone is gone.
John's Minions
For what it’s worth, we only turn in so early because that slave driver has us up by 6:00 to clean the shark tank and feed his cat before we go back to carving his face on the @#$&!! Volcano Lair.
TenguPhule
JWW in a nutshell.
over_educated
JWW – Why don’t you find something worthwhile to be outraged about, like this crappy war and the fact that our troops and plenty of Iraqi civilians had to die for NO GOOD REASON.
JWW
Well it is still early,
over_educated seems as though many Iraqi civilians had died long before we arrived. If they happened to survive their soul was taken from them. Currently we are not removing a hand that holds a cigarette or taking the life. You may want to tell me, what is a good reason too die? Seems I remember, no maybe it was a dream, sorry. The dream seems almost real though, it all started with “An American War”. You will be hard pressed to find the book. Being an educated man, you may even be able to afford a copy of it. If not you might try “Body Boots and Britches” again if you can afford it.