An Open Thread Dedicated to the Greatness of Devon Cole

My sister turned 35 today. Happy Birthday.

Mom and Dad want grandkids, so I know how you and your husband can ‘celebrate.’ You aren’t gonna get any younger, and if you will think back to what an insufferable bastard I was as a teenager (things have not changed much), do you really want to deal with that when you are 60?






19 replies
  1. 1
    Devon says:

    Thanks, I think. The last thing I need is a little mini-me of you running around. I will end up in jail for leaving it in the car with the dog. I will have kids in a few years- just before my eggs are completely pickled. Right now I am having too much fun.

  2. 2
    Third Eye Open says:

    If I wanna hear the pitter-patter of little feet…i’ll put shoes on my dog

  3. 3
    Jake says:

    Many happy returns to the saintly and long-suffering sis of John Cole.

    Unless she’s a younger sister in which case, I hope she gives John as much hell as my sisters give me.

  4. 4
    RSA says:

    Filed under: General Stupidity

    Having kids? Having kids that might turn out like John? Writing a “happy birthday” post? They’re all good.

  5. 5
    Face says:

    John, I kept imploring my sis to utilize the uterus, and 5 littles later, I now gotta spend like $200 at Xmas time on them alone.

    They’re expensive even when they’re not yours….be careful.

  6. 6
    Halffasthero says:

    John, I kept imploring my sis to utilize the uterus, and 5 littles later, I now gotta spend like $200 at Xmas time on them alone.

    This is an excellent point. There is a corollary to this as well about gifts at x-mas time: One gift from Uncle or Aunt to each family member (including mom and dad) and then, in return, one gift from “The family” to Uncle or Aunt. One a good day, that is a 4-1 rate of return. Going thru college and trying to bankroll x-mas at the same time is a nightmare.

    And happy birthday to Devon. I wonder if Mr. Cole deliberately tried to scare you off having kids (with threats they will act like him) just so he would not have to babysit them.

    Just an idea.

  7. 7
    demimondian says:

    Going thru college and trying to bankroll x-mas at the same time is a nightmare.

    Did you think about getting your parents — or the sprogs parents — to subsidize the gifts? It’s certainly what we did with our younger siblings…

  8. 8
    Face says:

    And happy birthday to Devon. I wonder if Mr. Cole deliberately tried to scare you off having kids (with threats they will act like him) just so he would not have to babysit them.

    I cannot imagine John babysittting. Wrist deep in you-know-what diaper-changing, simultaneously screaming at Chris Matthews to “ask him a real question!” and updating the Pittsburgh game on nfl.com and screaming at the monitor to make them score. Meanwhile the cat takes off with the only pacifier and hides it atop the kitchen cabinets.

  9. 9
    demimondian says:

    Wrist deep in you-know-what diaper-changing, simultaneously screaming at Chris Matthews to “ask him a real question!” and updating the Pittsburgh game on nfl.com and screaming at the monitor to make them score. Meanwhile the cat takes off with the only pacifier and hides it atop the kitchen cabinets.

    That’s not fair to John.

    Tunch is too fat to get to the top of the cabinets.

  10. 10
    Dreggas says:

    Happy birthday sibling of Comrade Cole!

  11. 11
    Halffasthero says:

    I cannot imagine John babysittting. Wrist deep in you-know-what diaper-changing, simultaneously screaming at Chris Matthews to “ask him a real question!” and updating the Pittsburgh game on nfl.com and screaming at the monitor to make them score. Meanwhile the cat takes off with the only pacifier and hides it atop the kitchen cabinets.

    It looks like you imagined it perfectly…this picture should definitely keep him awake at night. To say nothing of what his sister might be thinking – her baby with a pacifier in its mouth that his cat just chewed on.

    Picture the words between them once that was discovered. : )

  12. 12
    Tsulagi says:

    Happy Birthday

    Take it from me, while THEY ARE evil geniuses, kids are great. My two are currently tag-teaming their grandmother.

  13. 13
    Dreggas says:

    Tsulagi Says:
    Take it from me, while THEY ARE evil geniuses, kids are great. My two are currently tag-teaming their grandmother.

    Ummm…TMI!

  14. 14
    Jake says:

    Picture the words between them once that was discovered. : )

    You think John would tell her?

    “Those fang marks? Uh, the kid’s teeth must be coming in.” [Hides atop the kitchen cabinet.]

  15. 15
    CaseyL says:

    Happy Birthday, Sister of Our Host.

    If “Mom and Dad want grandkids,” tell ’em there’s a sale on down at Target. Rugrats and crumbcrushers, 30% off.

  16. 16
    Krista says:

    Happy Birthday, Devon!

    I will have kids in a few years- just before my eggs are completely pickled. Right now I am having too much fun.

    Do you have a copyright on that phrase, or may I borrow it to use on my mother?

  17. 17
    Tsulagi says:

    Dreggas Says:

    Ummm…TMI!

    Dreggas, this thread was dedicated to the birthday of John’s sister, so I’ll be a bit reserved. John did say open thread, though. So I’ll ask, is it ever possible for you to keep your dick out of your brain for two seconds? If you need help, that’s a rhetorical question.

  18. 18
    MMM says:

    Why can’t Mr. Cole find a little/big woman of his own and provide the grandkids (or if not a woman, a significant other)?

    I do think another person would need to be involved for the sake of the child.

  19. 19
    anon says:

    I hope this comment isn’t going to be horribly misconstrued, but a 35 year old woman waiting a couple of years to have kids is asking for trouble. Trust me, I speak from experience. Please, for your sake, if you want kids, start tonight.

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