Not to ruin what actually is good news, but this opening sentence is amusing:
Fewer high school students are having sex these days, more are using condoms, and the teen birth rate has hit a record low.
What are they doing with the condoms, then (and yes, this is the kind of question that would make stats professors cry)?
Zifnab
Are you kidding? Condoms are amazing!
James Gary
Don’t be a nit-picker–the body of the text clearly states that condom use is up among those teens who are having sex. I blame the truncated lede on an overly zealous copy editors, the likes of which will plague journalism as long as it exists.
ThymeZone
Condoms are great!
I’m wearing one right now!
John Cole
Umm, that is why it is funny AND why I said “opening sentence.”
pharniel
don’t forget that per the OSS they make nifty carbomb fuses.
Rome Again
That’s NOT funny!
ThymeZone
One can never be too careful. I am, after all, Captain Safety!
Dreggas
Obviously they have not seen the must see film warning of KILLER CONDOMS:
srv
Those fewer kids having sex are having alot more of it.
Lee
I thought it is interesting, they are having less intercourse. Not necessarily less sex.
So maybe less schupting and more slurping?
Paul
Poor kids. I still look back at my years of teenage sex with a tear in the eye. To think they won’t have those fond memories when they are older.
Although less teen pregnancies is a great thing. More sex, more condoms, less teen mothers. Is such a combo possible? I think so.
Go boink your brains out while you can kids. It won’t last forever.
Sirkowski
Quoted from something some wingnut will eventualy write for sure.
Jason
Has anyone done a study to see if there is a correlation between the decline of teenage sex rates and the increasing obesity of American youths?
Stuffing your little girl with cheetos until she is 300 lbs might be one way to keep some of the boys from trying to get in her pants.
Dreggas
I got the whole “will he or won’t he” question answered early and ended my stint as a virgin at 14. Looking back I don’t regret it one bit.
Zifnab
See, you’d think so. But then I think you’re not so much encouraging abstinence as a grevious drop in standards.
Also, I’m still not entirely clear whether Dreggas is a girl or a guy.
Jake
Dreggas
Well I could keep it a secret but last I checked I was still male, then again I have not been subjected to the forced sex change I was promised when I voted for the Demoncrats LOL.
mrmobi
I think it was Bill Maher who said that he wears two condoms all the time, and when he want to really go crazy, he takes one off before he has sex?
Dreggas
*sigh*
This will be a fun one to deal with
O/T I know but it was bound to come up eventually LOL.
Tsulagi
Maybe those teens have seen this classic Zazoo condom commercial. Say what you want about Old Europe, they know how to make good commercials.
Chad N. Freude
Where’d you find one that fits?
ThymeZone
In the Boys’ Department?
Zifnab
That’s no condom. It’s a space station.
Chad N. Freude
Yeah, there’s all that space inside it.
HunterBlackLuna
/points to post above. BURN.
I love stats like these. They make me feel so much better about science, society, and the human race as a whole. xD
Btw, you may commence welcoming me with open arms as the salvation of all.
ThymeZone
Yes, that’s the Loose Fit style.
Comfortable, something you can wear around the house on weekends.
srv
I don’t call it the XL Generation because they’re porn stars.
Cassidy
“One can never be too careful. I am, after all, Captain Safety!”
Are you anticipating slipping and falling into something?
guyermo
perhaps they’re using them as chewing gum, a la Coneheads?
Media Glutton
Actually, I’m more surprised with the stat that there are teen births at all. You’d think women wouldn’t want to experience a gestation period of 13 years.
Rome Again
I clicked on that link and now I’m appalled. This young woman who they consider to have mental problems was sexually assaulted, and has been identified by name. What compassion the writer of this story has. Seems I remember rape victims being protected from such identification.
Perhaps she signed the contract, but if she’s so mentally incompetent, she should NOT have been identified. The man who created the document took advantage of that poor yound woman, and the reporter is remiss in reporting her name.
Rome Again
He already did ;)
Andrew
You know who’s a huge fucking idiot these days?
Don Surber
Great. Credit Bush for the drop in teen sexual activity. Except for the fact that the article he cites show that the rates of teen sex dropped during the Clinton administration and edged back UP during W’s.
Jesus Fuck Me In the Ass To Keep Me a Technical Virgin Christ, why have IQs dropped so god damn sharply?
jake
OMG THE PADRES R SPREADING TEH GAY!
I really fucking loathe Bill O’Lielly.
Rome Again
Ummm, Bush is president, need we say more?
Andrew
Sweetie pie, that was the most rhetorical question in the universe.
However, “ingesting lead” is an acceptable answer.
Rome Again
Well, hasn’t he proved that any farking idiot can be president?
scarshapedstar
What, nobody ever heard of using a rubber for a quick and cleanup-free, albeit expensive, jerk?
Dreggas
Glad we’re on the same page. This is the kind of shit that gives the rest of us Kinksters bad names.