Sorry for the lack of posts, but I feel like crap, I am tired, and there is nothing I really want to talk about.
Let’s face it- Iraq is a mess, but we have covered that. Gonzalez is a mess, but we have covered that. Gas prices are high, Paris is in jail, yadda, yadda, yadda.
There is no news, per se.
In addition, I pulled a muscle in my back picking up Tunch the other day, and I now can not turn sideways, stand up, sit down, or pretty much do anything without being in agony. I guess that is news.
Is this what getting old is like- sinus infections all last week, back pain this week. What does next week have in store?
Pb
Well, a judge ruled that Genarlow Wilson could go free, but the state attorney general appealed, so he’s still in jail… so I guess nothing has changed there either.
Zombie Santa Claus
I hear ya. Shit’s not going too well for me either. The War on Christmas isn’t going so hot. The Canadians pushed 13 kilometers closer to my Toy Shoppe yesterday. The bastards used mustard gas on my elves. They’re afraid to fight fair. Sure, we killed 50,000 of them in that advance, but did you hear anything about it in the moonbat media? NO, of course not! Santa’s a myth to those fuckers! Meanwhile, my people are being exterminated, and my holiday is getting crushed underfoot.
Next week, though, I’m expecting the Christian Coalition to airlift my boys some experimental combat drugs. That should turn the tide for us. Crystal meth can only carry a battle-fatigued elf so far, you know.
Jay C
Serious illness, probably fatal?
Better have your GBCW post ready to go, John: just direct your next-of-kin which button to press.
srv
Organic is the new relative:
http://www.thedailygreen.com/2007/06/11/organic-isnt-always-organic/2427/
Zombie Santa Claus
It’s a slow news day, but at least we’ve been greeted as liberators in Albania. So that’s a start, anyway.
Mr Furious
Gas prices in Michigan have falllen about 50 cents/gallon over the last week or so. Down to $3.04—a veritable bargain!
Or so they want us conditioned to think anyway.
HyperIon
Matt Arnold wondered, too. Here’s a bit from “Growing Old”
What is it to grow old?
Is it to lose the glory of the form,
The lustre of the eye?
Is it for beauty to forego her wreath?
Yes, but not for this alone.
Is it to feel our strength –
Not our bloom only, but our strength -decay?
Is it to feel each limb
Grow stiffer, every function less exact,
Each nerve more weakly strung?
Yes, this, and more! but not,
Ah, ’tis not what in youth we dreamed ‘twould be!
‘Tis not to have our life
Mellowed and softened as with sunset-glow,
A golden day’s decline!
He goes on but you get the gist. Get used to it.
Mr Furious
Order yourself one of these, John.
Recently saw Dr Oz demonstrate one on Oprah*. Seriously.
*What? My wife TiVos it.
Zifnab
The gout.
Dreggas
Erectile Dysfunction.
Dreggas
Oh you did forget to mention everyone’s favorite Senator the righteous Holy Joe and his call to Bomb Iran.
demimondian
Actually, John, what you’re describing is better described as “growing middle aged”. You know you’re getting old when you start putting decay in proportion, and it stops bothering you anymore.
Faux News
The monkey pox virus.
Incurable TB was LAST week’s news.
Blue Neponset
Santa,
Are the elves cannibals? I heard some rumors…
Zombie Santa Claus
Hell yeah! They love it! Nothing tastes better than roasted elf- you should try it sometime!
Cyrus
As a 24-year-old who gets pains in his joints when a low-pressure front comes in, screw you!
les
One of two things, if not both:
Hair will cease growing on your head, and will begin vigorous growth on/in your nose and ears; and/or
approximately 80% of the internal processes previously used in supplying energy for ordinary pursuits will be diverted to gas production. No, you can’t get it into your car…
demimondian
Which half of the cannibalism do they love?
Shabbazz
Genital Warts.
realbtl
You can try what I use for approaching-60 aches, pains, yearly changes in my glasses and a (successful) bout with prostate cancer in January of this year.
“Gettin’ old sucks but it beats the hell out of the alternative”
Zombie Santa Claus
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Ho ho ho, bitches!
Jake
A rattle in your bronchi; Dissapearing hairline; Pajamas in the daytime; Whole afternoons measured out in cofee spoons.
And T.S. Eliot.
Plus people writing obscure, geeky replies to your posts.
A question: No offense to Tunch, but how much does that bad boy weigh? Not that one of my house beasts is exactly svelte, if you know what I mean.
Wilfred
Paris Hilton?
Rome Again
I wouldn’t know. I feel younger than I have in years!
I even got carded the other day, so I must be looking younger too. ;)
Dave
As long as your Johnson keeps working, you’re ok.
Rome Again
My Stormy is!
Blue Neponset
I guess I know what kind of cookies to leave out next year. Thank Santa.
Rome Again
Ummm, I think that’s due to sex with an unclean partner, not old age.
Cyrus
OK, OK, in the interest of strict journalistic accuracy, I should clarify. “Joints” should be “a bad knee, probably inherited, which I’ve hurt more than once in sports.” And “a low-pressure front” should be “I climb a tower high enough and/or quickly enough to have a significant difference in air pressure.” Taking an elevator about 1,200 feet in less than a minute triggered it, such as on a visit here, but I have never yet encountered weather severe enough to have the same effect. When I first noticed the twinges that accompany pressure shifts, I thought it was sort of cool that I would some day be able to predict the weather, like a wise old grandfather figure. But that’s outweighed by the annoyance of, you know, a pain in my knee. That, and the ability to predict the weather isn’t as impressive as it once was. Fucking weather.com.
Carry on.
Jake
Campaign Slogans:
Sam Brownback: Looking out for America’s women.
Or.
Sam Brownback: All creep, all the time.
ThymeZone
John Cole take it from a lifelong sinus sufferer:
A miracle cure is here. It’s called Flonase.
Get a prescription for it, use it for two days, you will think you died and went to heaven.
Trust me. It’s the greatest thing ever invented.
feral1
John,
I strongly suggest you get this book-
Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection (Paperback)
by Dr.John E. Sarno
Google this guy and check out the comments on Amazon-
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446392308
You won’t be sorry.
Pixie
I’m surpised no one asked this, but just how large is your baby cat? I’ve got 6 of them and my heaviest is a orange tom who is solid muscle. He weighs 22 pounds. Beat that!
Pixie
I’m surpised no one asked this, but just how large is your baby cat? I’ve got 6 of them and my heaviest is a orange tom who is solid muscle. He weighs 22 pounds. Beat that!
Jake
I’ve got an orange male who was once 20 lbs of semi-solid blubber. Now he’s “slimmed down” to about 18.
Yes he is on adult maintenance food. Yes he’s very active. (Particularly when we’re on the stairs. Do you know what happens if 18 lbs of insanity charges into your shins while you’re on the stairs?) Yes. I’m a little defensive about my big fat cat.
And, yes. It is a lot of fun watching him try to jump on anything more than a foot off the ground.
ThymeZone
Franklie, my largest cat (whose countenance appears on my photosite page) is up to 23 lbs the last time I weighed her.
She’s just about Maine Coon sized now. Franklie is big, not fat. Big bones, big paws.
When Franklie sits on your lap, you know it.
Tsulagi
Be careful it’s not the Haggard air wing bringing them. They just might drop Teh Gay Bomb on you.
ChristieS
Ah, TZ, your granddaughter is WAY cute! Heh, I went out to your site to check out your pooties. Kitties and kiddies. My favorite things.
ThymeZone
Thx. I need to get some more current photos up there, she is two now. And cuter than ever.
Andrew
I suggest you do some deadlifts. If that isn’t the book, it’s not worth the paper it’s printed on.
Joe1347
Don’t worry, it just gets worse as you get older.
The Other Steve
If you got nothing to do…
Swampland needs some hits
dslak
I am thankful that Bush is going to continue to push his immigration bill. From a political perspective, it’s a real coalition-breaker and quite silly and stupid for him to stick with it. When it comes to delivering pure, unadulterated schadenfreude, it really can’t be beat. The likely payoff for the country the bill would have is not really commensurate with how hard Bush is pushing it.
When people who see every issue as good vs. evil discover something about which they disagree, anybody not in the line of fire can usually expect a good show. God knows I do.
dslak
That Swampland post is simply unbelievable. You can pick any group at random on the Internet, and find that a large plurality of that group are incredibly rude and have crazy and often heinous ideas about how things ought to be run.
As someone from a Southern, rural state, the pandering really grates me, too. Yes, people in the Southern states are stereotypically polite to strangers, but this in no way translates to them being polite en bloc on the Internet. A lot of them are damned intolerant assholes. Hell, sometimes I can be one, myself. Or maybe the assholes aren’t true Southerners.
Krista
Yay – Crash Test Dummies!
And anybody can pull a back muscle at any age. I pulled the hell out of my back last year (at the ripe old age of 31) in the middle of the night when Dreyf wanted into bed, and I lifted him improperly. (I have a very tall sleigh bed, and Dreyf was a 13-year old Lhasa Apso. Him getting into bed without help would be like Wilford Brimley successfully jumping onto the top of my fridge.)
Pooh
Ladies and gentleman of Connecticut, your Senator, Joe Lieberman hard at work:
Can we get around to just calling him a Republican already, or do we have to keep up with this charade?
RSA
My understanding is that Republicans recognized early on that immigration would be a powerful wedge issue–they just didn’t realize for whom.
Ben
John,
Welcome to the world where drugs will make you feel better… that’s what happens when you turn 40, have a career, are busy… you get fat, mostly out of shape and are prone to bad backs, colds, flu, but have to get up and go to work. You need to find yourslef a Karen Walker like dr/pharmy and get with better living through chemistry.
grumpy realist
John, not to repeat too much what other posters have said, but how heavy IS Tunch?
Do enough weight lifting at the sports club with your lats and your abs and back trouble will be greatly reduced.
The Other Steve
Hell with sports clubs. Go to target, buy a couple of 15 lb dumbbells and excercise at home.
Go for a one mile walk ever day.
There ya go, that’s ten times more excercise then most of us do.
Rome Again
As far as I’m concerned, sure, by all means, go for it, I have been calling him a Republican ever since before the last election. I never fell for the charade. (Let’s be honest, you didn’t either).
::smiles::
Rome Again
I’d pay to see that!
Beej
I used to snicker at the very idea that you could predict the weather from the way your joints felt. A few years ago I humbly apologized to all those I had wronged with that ignorant opinion. I can tell you when it’s going to snow or rain, when a low or high pressure front is approaching,and whether it’s going to be windy, all from the state of my knees. What next, John? Well, I hate to tell you, but it’s all downhill from where you are. Have a great day!
The Other Steve
Yep, my right knee hurts when it’s going to rain. All because when I was a kid i twisted it wrong or something.
Vlad
“What does next week have in store?”
A diet for the cat, I’m guessing.
PeterJ
Zombie Santa Claus Said:
An Albanian “liberated” Bush’s watch from Bush…
Tsulagi
If you’re still having the back pain and it’s not getting any better, you really should see a doctor. Maybe an osteopath. I’m the last to follow that advice as I hate seeing a doctor.
Don’t have back problems, but one time I did whack it out while carrying something and slipping on some wet rocks. Twisted on the way down to keep from dropping what I was carrying. When I got up I was in pain that just kept getting worse until it reached a nice little plateau and stayed there.
Couldn’t stand straight up without a lot of pain so often was walking slightly hunched over. Sitting wasn’t as bad, but when I got up it really sucked. Hard going to sleep with the pain. Thought I’d gut it out while munching naproxen and ibuprofen, but after three weeks there was no improvement and I felt like total shit from the pain and lack of sleep.
Finally went to a doctor who was also an osteopath. After the exam and x-rays he manipulated my spine a little to line it up then wanted to start a series of cortisone shots to my lower back. At first I said no as I also hate drugs, but because of the pain gave in to saying “okay, one shot to see if it does any good.”
Within six hours after the shot it was like feeling the pain melting away. By the next morning, I was pain free. Could walk, run, etc. In just three weeks I had forgotten what it was like to be pain free. It was total bliss. Life was good again.
So to sum up this way too long comment, if it’s been days and no improvement, don’t be a dumbass like I was and go see a doctor.
mrmobi
Lucky for you, Dr. Mobi is in. Most back pain like you describe is actually the result of a muscle spasm which causes a mis-alignment which pinches nerves. The pain is excruciating, I know. Almost as bad as a kidney stone.
In my mid-30s, I had several bouts with this problem, and found a Naprapath who invariably was able to greatly reduce the pain and have me back on my feet in a couple of treatments. I highly recommend this idea.
Other than that, drink lots of water, avoid drafts (cool air might make the muscles spasm more), take aspirin for the pain and lay on the floor with your back flat and your lower legs up on a chair. You won’t be able to get up, of course, but it will probably make it hurt less. That must be a heavy cat.
The news will re-appear in a bit, although it will stay mostly bad. Good luck, John.
Tax Analyst
Yeah…hear you on that…we’re “down to” about $3.19…in some places, for regular. Yes, we’re supposed to think that’s a reasonable price, although compared to Europe and some other places (above $7.00/pg) I suppose it is.
Tax Analyst