This is your captain speaking, and I would like to take a moment to welcome Rick Moran aboard the Defeatocrat cruise ship for his maiden voyage. Since Rick is new, I will repost the itinerary for his first morning with the Defeatocrats. The ship will board in Berkeley on May Day.
5 AM- Sunrise Yoga Session led by Deepak Chopra. Come join us as we get in touch with our inner selves to a beautiful California sunrise while listening to melodic new age music.
6 AM– Community Showers led by Code Pink and Mothers Against the War. Don’t forget to bring your soap and deodorant, but remember that some of your fellow cruise matesmay be sensitive to perfumes, so no cologne.
7 AM– Vegan breakfast. Come feast on our delicious and fulfilling breakfast by the bay, which will feature all bran cereals with added wheat bulger, unflavored yogurt, and a variety of all natural, home grown fruits- and I don’t mean Harvey Fierstein.
8 AM– Prayer Session led by Al Sharpton and Cindy Sheehan
8:30 AM– Loyalty Oath, trading of black armbands. Duringthis brief session, new cruise members will pledge loyalty the the House and Senate leadership. At this point, you are no longer permitted to refer to Senator Reid as Senate Majority Leader, and must simply call him “Leader Reid” out of deference to our Soviet roots.
10 AM– Q and A Session led by Scott Ritter and Joe Wilson. This will be held in the Y. Arafat Memorial Meeting Room in the local CAIR chapter. In memory of Arafat, date palms and raisins will be served and all attendees will be asked to use a bucket when they need to go to the bathroom
11 AM– Group Therapy- Many notables will be present to help newer members adjust, including Bob Barr, Andrew Sullivan, Greg Drjerijan, and Pat Buchanan.
I think you will find the itinerary eases you in nicely, and remember, there are no fees or charges, because hating America is free.