Chocolate Balls

Billy Donohue and his merry gang of holy thugs are in full-on outrage mode again:

A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled Friday after Cardinal Edward Egan and other outraged Roman Catholics complained.

The “My Sweet Lord” display was shut down by the hotel that houses the Lab Gallery in midtown Manhattan. Roger Smith Hotel President James Knowles cited the public outcry for his decision.

Matt Semler, the gallery’s creative director, resigned in protest.

The six-foot sculpture by artist Cosimo Cavallaro was the victim of “a strong-arming from people who haven’t seen the show, seen what we’re doing,” Semler said.

But word of the confectionary Christ infuriated Catholics, including Egan, who described it as “a sickening display.”

Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, fumed, “It’s an all-out war on Christianity. They wouldn’t show a depiction of Martin Luther King Jr. with genitals exposed on Martin Luther King Day, and they wouldn’t show Muhammad depicted this way during Ramadan. It’s always Christians, and the timing is deliberate.”

Good thing the artist doesn’t blog for Edwards- the Donohue might have turned purple and died on the spot.

At any rate, I guess we can safely conclude that what drives Jesus nuts really nuts is Jesus’s nuts.

*** update ***

Digby.

318 replies
  1. 1
    Andrew says:

    Were Jesus’ balls chocolate and salty?

  2. 2
    Duane says:

    I guess we can safely conclude that what drives Jesus nuts really nuts is Jesus’s nuts.

    LOL!

  3. 3
    Tsulagi says:

    They were just worried some of the Catholic priests wouldn’t have been able to keep themselves from giving the chocolate Jesus a circumcision orally in public.

  4. 4
    Zifnab says:

    I guess we can safely conclude that what drives Jesus nuts really nuts is Jesus’s nuts.

    haha! Keep’m coming John. This blog only gets better with age.

    And I’m waiting for a Friday wine-and-food blog detailing what exactly would go well with a giant Chocolate Jesus.

  5. 5
    Punchy says:

    nude, anatomically correct

    I dunno. I saw the pic of Chocolate Jesus. Wasn’t that impressed. I’m pretty sure, seeing that he really had the power to do just about anything, that he would have given himself at least another 6 inches or so. Like a third leg under that robe he wore….

    After all, since he had to walk around all day and impress others, it surely wasnt the Birks on his dogs or his hippie hair or six-pack abs. Tube-Snake Savior, bitches. Surely the artist must have overlooked this.

  6. 6
    Dulcie says:

    My favorite part of the artice:

    The hotel and the gallery were overrun Thursday with angry phone calls and e-mails about the exhibit. Semler said the calls included death threats.

    Because nothing says christian like death threats.

  7. 7
    craigie says:

    I wonder if any – any – of the callers and death-threateners had actually seen it.

    It’s confusing, really, because isn’t Easter the Holy Festival of Chocolate?

  8. 8
    craigie says:

    And yet, if a woman in El Salvador had seen Jesus’ face in a bar of chocolate, they’d all be rushing to worship it. Funny people, these cultists.

  9. 9
    RSA says:

    It’s confusing, really, because isn’t Easter the Holy Festival of Chocolate?

    Jesus and chocolate: two great things that go great together.

  10. 10
    cd6 says:

    It wouldn’t have been a problem if the artist had used white chocolate.

    But showing Jesus as a heathen brown person was way over the line.

  11. 11
    Zifnab says:

    It’s confusing, really, because isn’t Easter the Holy Festival of Chocolate?

    Jesus returned to us as an anthropomorphic bunny that lays colored eggs.

  12. 12
    grumpy realist says:

    Considering that a good Elizabethan oath was “Christ’s balls!” I don’t know what these people are upset about.

    They would rather a chocolate Jesus without any?

  13. 13
    grumpy realist says:

    Actually, I just thought if someone wanted to really do a piece of snark they should create an exact copy of the anatomically correct Jesus, snipped, with one of those satellite-dishes-around-the-neck that one sees on dogs….

  14. 14
    Darrell, D'Souza, Delay and Strauss says:

    “It’s an all-out war on Christianity. They wouldn’t show a depiction of Martin Luther King Jr. with genitals exposed on Martin Luther King Day,

    My only problem is why he didn’t use white chocolate…

  15. 15
    RSA says:

    Digby quotes Donohue directly:

    “All those involved are lucky that angry Christians don’t react the way extremist Muslims do when they’re offended—otherwise they may have more than their heads cut off.”

    Militant Christians are so cute around holiday times.

  16. 16
    canuckistani says:

    Given the ritual cannibalism that is at the heart of Catholicism, I don’t see the problem with the art, unless the Body of Christ is like spinach – it makes you strong, but you aren’t meant to enjoy it.

    Chocolate Jesus – Tom Waits

    Dont go to church on sunday
    Dont get on my knees to pray
    Dont memorize the books of the bible
    I got my own special way
    Bit I know jesus loves me
    Maybe just a little bit more

    I fall on my knees every sunday
    At zerelda lees candy store

    Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
    Make me feel good inside
    Got to be a chocolate jesus
    Keep me satisfied

    Well I dont want no anna zabba
    Dont want no almond joy
    There aint nothing better
    Suitable for this boy
    Well its the only thing
    That can pick me up
    Better than a cup of gold
    See only a chocolate jesus
    Can satisfy my soul

    (solo)
    When the weather gets rough
    And its whiskey in the shade
    Its best to wrap your savior
    Up in cellophane
    He flows like the big muddy
    But thats ok
    Pour him over ice cream
    For a nice parfait

    Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
    Good enough for me
    Got to be a chocolate jesus
    Good enough for me

    Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
    Make me feel good inside
    Got to be a chocolate jesus
    Keep me satisfied

  17. 17
    Dulcie says:

    And what is with Donahue’s obsession with MLK, Jr. anyway? Didn’t he invoke his name during the John Edwards blogger controversy?

  18. 18
    PeterJ says:

    Did the Jesus chocolate goodness (godness?) have bunny ears? Is this a major victory in the war against The Easter Jesus Bunny(tm)?

  19. 19
    grumpy realist says:

    So Donahue would be ok with a sculpture of Jesus made out of spinach?

    These Christianists are weird…..

  20. 20
    cd6 says:

    Hell of a sponsorship deal by Cadbury’s

    Do you think Chocolate Jesus had a caramel center or peanut butter??

  21. 21
  22. 22
    Baby Jane says:

    …in the clip he, again, expresses his affection for MLK.

  23. 23
    Paul L. says:

    chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ. Yawn.
    Let’s see some courageous “art” like
    A chocolate sculpture of Mohammed
    Here is a good model.

    or P*ss Quilt. a piece of the Aids Quilt submerged in urine.

    But I guess offensive art to Muslin and gays is forbidden because they are protectecd victim groups.

  24. 24
    jake says:

    I guess a Jesus made entirely from Peeps would be unacceptable?

    Good thing Too bad the artist doesn’t blog for Edwards- the Donohue might have turned purple and died on the spot.

    Fixed.

    Although I like “The Donohue.” I move we call him La Donohue.

  25. 25
    Perry Como says:

    I guess a Jesus made entirely from Peeps would be unacceptable?

    Unacceptably delicious.

  26. 26
    Paul L. says:

    Too bad the artist doesn’t blog for Edwards

    Speaking of that cute little cupcake.
    Here is a story about chocolate and Amanda Marcotte.

    Outrage Over Chocolate Vaginas [Dan Collins]

    When Perugina, the Italian chocolate company that invented “baci,” chocolate kisses, expanded its repertoire to include chocolate vaginas (“vagini”), feminist outrage was swift and sure. “It’s an insult to women,” said Amanda Marcotte of the website Pandagon. “It represents an idealized image of the female sex organs, including a highly visible clitoris. In point of fact, most men cannot find that article without guidance.”

    NOW was quick to call for a boycott of Perugina. “Women are responsible for the bulk of chocolate sales the world over,” said spokesperson Nancy Boyer. “Scientists have shown that the chemicals in chocolate mimic the brain chemicals that women would derive from sex if men knew how to perform it properly.”

    Perugina spokesmen were unavailable for comment.

    I await John’s condemnation.

  27. 27
    John S. says:

    I await John’s condemnation.

    While we all await a serious post from you that warrants a response.

  28. 28
    Perry Como says:

    Here is a story about chocolate and Amanda Marcotte.

    That’s hilarious.

  29. 29
    CaseyL says:

    Here is a story about chocolate and Amanda Marcotte.

    Darndest thing: I can’t find that story on Google, at all; nor can I find anything in Pandagon’s archives about it.

    Also? “Chocolate vagina” makes no sense. The vagina is an internal organ; a candy based on it would pretty much be a chocolate tube. If Perugina was going to make a candy based on female genitalia – one that features a large clitoris, no less – it would be a chocolate vulva.

    IOW, Dan Collins seems to have made up (or found somewhere) a big old FAKE STORY.

    FTR, I seriously doubt Marcotte would be outraged or offended by chocolate vaginas or vulvas. I think she’s think they were a hoot. Especially that bit about the large, easy to find clit.

  30. 30
    RSA says:

    I await John’s condemnation.

    Speaking for myself, I don’t condemn Donohue and his minions for raising a stink and organizing a boycott. His implied threats of violence are worth condemning, though. If he’d stuck to saying that he finds the piece offensive and wants people to avoid the place, that would have been perfectly fine, if still funny. Marcotte’s comments are in the same category–fine and silly.

  31. 31
    Paul L. says:

    CaseyL
    I fell it. Should have guessed it too good to be true.
    That and I should have remembered this story.
    Vanderbilt students sold chocolate vaginas as a fundraiser for V-Day

  32. 32
    jake says:

    Darndest thing: I can’t find that story on Google, at all; nor can I find anything in Pandagon’s archives about it.

    Neither will you find anything about it on NOW’s website or by searching Nancy Boyer. But the supposed comments from the supposedly outraged feminists should provide a hint…

    I await John’s condemnation.

    If John condemned posters who linked to spoof sites he’d never get anything done. Furthermore, I think Paul L. should get credit for posting about something besides zygotes.

  33. 33
    demimondian says:

    Hey, Paul, I thought you over there looking for fake bodies in Qana, or looking to see who changed the data to make it appear that adult stem cells were totipotent, or something like that? Really, guy, that would be a better us of your time.

  34. 34
    Baby Jane says:

    I fell it. Should have guessed it too good to be true.

    Kinda sucks when the blog you read for news and info is just making shit up and blowing smoke up your ass without even letting you in on the joke. What a way to treat readers. Now you’re the joke.

  35. 35
    Sirkowski says:

    Baby Jane Says:
    Louis C.K. vs. Bill Donahue

    Wow, Bill Donohue wants to suck a black dick pretty badly.

  36. 36
    demimondian says:

    I’m sorry, Paul — I didn’t see your retraction before I snarked. I shouldn’t have harassed you about the vagina story.

    Now, about the P*ss Quilt…in order to have a panel, you have to have died of AIDS. You don’t have to be gay to have a panel, and there are a lot of people who contracted AIDS in some other way that have panels. P*ss Quilt is mocking the dead, not the living. So, on that score, I recommend further research into bodies in Qana, totipotent adult stem cell, etc.

  37. 37
    CaseyL says:

    Paul L – thank you for acknowledging that you were had.

    As for the Chocolate Easter Jesus… it’s so silly it’s perfect.

    I don’t expect nutjobs like Donohue & Co. to understand the wonderful satirical connection between a Chocolate Easter Jesus and all those bunnies and eggs – that Easter is a co-optation of springtime fertility festivals, otherwise whatthehell do bunnies and eggs have to do with Jesus, anyway? – any more than I expect them to realize that if Jesus could see what became of his simple message of love and mercy, he’d’ve stuck to carpentry.

  38. 38
    chopper says:

    But I guess offensive art to Muslin and gays is forbidden because they are protectecd victim groups

    damn cotton fabrics. when will muslin start acting like it’s cool cousin denim?

  39. 39
    ThymeZone says:

    Would a chocolate Jesus be for licking, or just biting off a piece and chewing it?

    Does the Food Channel have anything on this?

  40. 40
    ThymeZone says:

    Did Mark Foley give his life over to Chocolate Jesus (not my chocolate yard man)?

  41. 41
    ThymeZone says:

    Will Darrell get a hard on from looking at Chocolate Jesus?

    Is Chocolate Jesus approved by the Boy Scouts?

  42. 42
    Baby Jane says:

    Wow, Bill Donohue wants to suck a black dick pretty badly.

    Something funny about that particular bit is Donohue specified a “white” guy doing the sucking.

  43. 43
    Rome Again says:

    Do you think Chocolate Jesus had a caramel center or peanut butter??

    Well, if the model were taken from Revelation, it’s possible that the toes could be peanut butter, the legs caramel, and other parts could be nougat, butter creme maple, and rocky road.

  44. 44
    ThymeZone says:

    it’s possible that the toes could be peanut butter, the legs caramel, and other parts could be nougat, butter creme maple, and rocky road.

    Jesus is a Taste Sensation!

  45. 45
    Rome Again says:

    Jesus is a Taste Sensation!

    Gosh, whem you put it that way, maybe I can be converted after all, so what the hell is the problem with those Catholics? I mean, whatever brings people to Jesus, right? Killing is okay, forced confession is okay, but sweet Jesus is not? Hmmmmm.

  46. 46
    Dug Jay says:

    I’m not “religious” in the least, but I have to say that this anti-Catholic kind of bashing is just a bit much. It’s likely offensive to other Protestant folks as well. Somehow, I rather suspect that similar comments/writing about gays, muslims and blacks would be found highly offensive by John and others in this thread.

    On the other hand, John and this crowd are so clearly over the bend…..

  47. 47
    Rome Again says:

    It’s okay Dug Jay, I don’t just have a problem with Catholics, I have a problem with the entire Christian concept.

  48. 48
    ThymeZone says:

    Killing is okay, forced confession is okay, but sweet Jesus is not?

    “Sweet Jesus!” Wonderful, that’s the essence of it, alright.

    I rather suspect that similar comments/writing about gays, muslims and blacks would be found highly offensive

    I give not a flying ratfuck what anyone finds offensive. “Offensive” is a word that has no meaning outside the realm of bathos and manipulation. “Offensive” means somebody can’t stand the truth. Oh yeah? So, fuck them.

    Jesus was hung? He was dark? Great news AFAIC. All my life I have had to look at these fucked up bullshit images of creamy white blonde Jesus, which is sure to be a big fucking lie. That’s what I find offensive …. manipulative lies.

    Kudos to the creator(s) of Candy Jesus. Fuck the “offended” manipulators and liars. Fuck them very much.

  49. 49
    Dug Jay says:

    The very essence and brilliance of the mind that is ThymeZone:

    Fuck the “offended” manipulators and liars. Fuck them very much.

    The world desperately needs such deep thinkers in these troubled times. On the other hand, one wonders if ThymeZone is merely drunk or stoned out of his fucking mind.

  50. 50
    Rome Again says:

    The world desperately needs such deep thinkers in these troubled times.

    Yes, it does, actually.

  51. 51
    ThymeZone says:

    On the other hand, one wonders if ThymeZone is merely drunk or stoned out of his fucking mind.

    Well, mister bigmouth spoof, why don’t you take a poll and see what the trend of thought is on my post?

    Go ahead. I have $100 that says I’ll win that little popularity contest.

    Money, meet your mouth. Put it up, asshole.

  52. 52
    Chad N. Freude says:

    And yet, if a woman in El Salvador had seen Jesus’ face in a bar of chocolate, they’d all be rushing to worship it.

    But what would they do if she saw Jesus’s Jenitals?

  53. 53
    louisms says:

    As an ex-catholic, I distinctly remember that the body of Christ tasted nothing like chocolate- more like a kind of tasteless bread product.

  54. 54
  55. 55
    Dug Jay says:

    A challenge to John Cole and posters such as ThymeZone: Post something just as snarky and nasty about Muhammad, the prophet and founder of Islam.

  56. 56
    Rome Again says:

    LMAO @ Baby Jane – simply priceless!

  57. 57
    Rome Again says:

    A challenge to John Cole and posters such as ThymeZone: Post something just as snarky and nasty about Muhammad, the prophet and founder of Islam.

    I’m sure when someone makes a chocolate Mohammed, John will post it.

    By the way, why do you think leftists who disagree with Christianity must be muslims?

  58. 58
    Chad N. Freude says:

    “Offensive” means somebody can’t stand the truth.

    Oh, come on. I find the Protocols of the Elders of Zion offensive. I find Darrell’s machine-gun epithet attacks offensive (when I’m the target). I find snide (i.e., unwarranted) personal insults offensive. What are the truths that I can’t stand?

    I might agree with the idea that “offense” is often taken when the offendee merely feels that his self-righteousness has been attacked, but equating being offended with denying truth is … offensive.

  59. 59
    ThymeZone says:

    Post something just as snarky and nasty about Muhammad, the prophet and founder of Islam.

    Mohammad just called and said you should go fuck your spoofy self.

  60. 60
    Dug Jay says:

    By the way, why do you think leftists who disagree with Christianity must be muslims?

    These days it takes no balls or guts at all to disparage and insult Catholics, Protestants and, to an increasing extent, Jews. However, the PC police on the Left, not to mention the more radical and extreme of the Islamists, will not tolerate such insults to their religion and icons. But, go ahead and prove me wrong and rip a new one for Muhammad.

  61. 61
    ThymeZone says:

    What are the truths that I can’t stand?

    Well, that you’re an argumentative spoof asshole, for one.

    I made a good rhetorical point. Give it props, or get out of the way.

    Which side are you on, anyway? Oh, you’re spoof, so you don’t need a side, you can just shoot your spoofy mouth off.

    W’re not talking about the definition of all offense, shit for brains. We’re talking about a fucking CHOCOLATE JESUS.

  62. 62
    Baby Jane says:

    Baby Jane – simply priceless!

    That’s sweet. And, certainly a step up from cheap and easy.

  63. 63
    ThymeZone says:

    These days it takes no balls or guts at all

    To do what? Step up to a simple $100 bet?

    Come on man, show some chocolate balls.

    I find Darrell’s machine-gun epithet attacks offensive (when I’m the target).

    “You” are the target? A phony handle that is new here? I have a real name and real email address and I’ve been eating shit from Darrell for two fucking years.

    So suck a rock, whiner.

  64. 64
    Rome Again says:

    But, go ahead and prove me wrong and rip a new one for Muhammad.

    Well, its my understanding he married a nine-year-old girl. What more could I possibly have to say to disparage him? No nine-year-old girl is ready for marriage. Menses doesn’t normally set in until the age of 12… so it seems to me that Mohammed was nothing but a pervert, but that’s just MY take on the subject.

    I might add, this is not new or uncharted territory.

  65. 65
    Dug Jay says:

    Come on man, show some chocolate balls.

    Oh, come on, ThymeZone. It’s rather widely known that, since your extended stay in that wonderful Phoenix hospital a few years ago, you have no need whatsoever for balls of any color or material.

  66. 66
    Rome Again says:

    Oh, come on, ThymeZone. It’s rather widely known that, since your extended stay in that wonderful Phoenix hospital a few years ago, you have no need whatsoever for balls of any color or material.

    I call bullshit. Cite specifics or shut the hell up!

  67. 67
    Chad N. Freude says:

    the PC police on the Left

    You have a point. Ann Coulter certainly has no qualms. But the implication is that the Right is more righteous because they disparage and respect (only?) Western religions.

    the more radical and extreme of the Islamists

    who, as we all know, share so many of the values of the Left.

  68. 68
    Dug Jay says:

    Cite specifics

    Peyronie’s disease.

  69. 69
    Chad N. Freude says:

    TZ, I’m truly sorry that your hemorrhoids are bothering you so much. Addressing your major points:

    I have experienced the Wrath of Darrel in the Thank Some Deity Or Other for Chuck Schumer thread.

    If by spoof you mean someone who writes stuff they don’t mean or believe for the purpose of stirring up the troops, you’re wrong.

    My handle is no phonier than “ThymeZone”.

    If the measure of seriousness is exposing one’s real name and e-mail address, then I’m going to be non-serious for a while.

    … new here

    well, not really. Hear anything from Oliver?

  70. 70
    Chad N. Freude says:

    I’ve been eating shit from Darrell for two fucking years.

    Heavens, how could I miss that one? Change your diet for crissake. At least find a more palatable source.

  71. 71
    jake says:

    From Baby Jane’ link:

    Personally, I’d like to see the whole set of Mixed Disciples – each one a holy different flavour. Of course, knowing my luck I’d be the one stuck with the nasty halibut-flavoured chocolate Judas at the bottom of the box. “Can I swop it for your Jesus?”

    Just one of many posts that would cause La Donahue to blow a gasket.

  72. 72
    Jonathan says:

    Dug J:

    Mohammed was really impotent and his children were all sired by a supposedly neutered Nubian manservant.

  73. 73
    ThymeZone says:

    My handle is no phonier than “ThymeZone”.

    I have a real email address associated with a real name, known to many here including John Cole.

    Do you?

  74. 74
    ThymeZone says:

    I’m going to be non-serious for a while.

    Yeah, except when somebody dings you. Then you are all serious.

    Why? Offended?

  75. 75
    ThymeZone says:

    And while you spoofs are dodging reality, I have another 50 bucks that says at least two handles on this thread are being written by the same guy, creating a phony argument with himself.

    Who wants some of that action?

  76. 76
    ThymeZone says:

    Change your diet for crissake.

    Talk to John Cole. That’s the specialty of the house here.

  77. 77
    Rome Again says:

    Dug Jay… prove it, with specifics (plural). That is what I asked for.

    You’ve proven you need to just shut the hell up.

  78. 78
    ThymeZone says:

    TZ, I’m truly sorry that your hemorrhoids are bothering you so much.

    Okay. Kiss my ass.

  79. 79
    Rome Again says:

    Who wants some of that action?

    I would if I could afford it. ;)

  80. 80
    Chad N. Freude says:

    And while you spoofs are dodging reality, I have another 50 bucks that says at least two handles on this thread are being written by the same guy, creating a phony argument with himself.

    Who wants some of that action?

    If mine is one of the handles, I’ll take the bet.

    Regardless of who the spoofers are, how will you determine who wins? Spoofers are not going to raise their hands and shout “Over here!”

    someone who writes stuff they don’t mean or believe for the purpose of stirring up the troops

    Is that correct? I can’t argue about this unless I understand the vocabulary. And what makes you think I’m spoofing? What have I said that sounds like a spoof?

  81. 81
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Okay. Kiss my ass.

    Not that sorry, Dude. But I’ll send flowers.

  82. 82
    ThymeZone says:

    what makes you think I’m spoofing?

    What makes you think you aren’t?

    Tell us everything about you. That’s what this is all about, right? You?

    Please, the floor is yours.

    You were, I presume, born in a log cabin ……

  83. 83
    ThymeZone says:

    I can’t argue about this unless I understand the vocabulary.

    Well, why don’t you argue about something else, then?

    Pick a topic that has some relevance to something besides how well your sentences can be diagrammed, and argue something worth talking about.

    I know … how about the power of Chocolate Jesus to offend?

    What’s your non-thinking on that subject?

    Oh, wait, you aren’t being serious. I forgot.

    So, what are you being, then?

  84. 84
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Tell us everything about you.

    How many other posters have done this?

    You were, I presume, born in a log cabin

    No, actually I was born in Michael Reese Hospital in Chicago.

    Next presumption?

  85. 85
    ThymeZone says:

    Next presumption?

    Well, since you aren’t serious, what are we to do? Take you unseriously.

    That’s what I’m doing. Isn’t that what you wanted?

  86. 86
    Rome Again says:

    How many other posters have done this?

    Damn, you’re on the internet. You just missed the opportunity to come up with something really interesting. Who would have known differently if you made it believable. You aren’t very creative, I guess.

  87. 87
    Baby Jane says:

    If anybody still hasn’t gotten their fill off offense today, follow Sirkowski’s website link. Now that’s my kind of offensive – top shelf stuff. It makes chocolate Jesus look like a candy-ass.

  88. 88
    ThymeZone says:

    Chad is probably one of the Two Steves (Steve and Other Steve).

    Their patented “Oh come now, who’s really on first?” style of nonsense argument is pretty familiar.

    To be taken seriously by me, a poster needs to take an identifiable position on a topic, and then stand up for it with facts and logic. Very simple, really, Even an eighth grader can do it.

    My position is, calling a chocolate Jesus “offensive” is just bullshit. It’s a work of art. You can say you don’t like it, and don’t think Jesus’ Johnson should be exposed, and maybe argue that point. But you can’t just say “Oh my, I’m offended” and walk away. What is the offensive part? That Jesus had a Johnson? Or that the world should ever see it represented in art?

    I guess that statue of David is offensive, then?

  89. 89
    Rome Again says:

    I guess that statue of David is offensive, then?

    Well, no, see, because:

    1. David’s religion has been replaced by Jesus’ religion
    2. Jesus was born in such a way that he’s not supposed to have a Johnson. ::winks::

  90. 90
    ThymeZone says:

    Jesus was born in such a way that he’s not supposed to have a Johnson. ::winks::

    Ah …. good point. Very good point. His daddy apparently had no Johnson … so we can guess that he didn’t necessarily have one either.

    NOW I’M OFFENDED! HOW DARE they suggest that Jesus had a Johnson? That flies in the face (ahem, gay reference unintended) of people of faith.

    Of some fucking thing.

  91. 91
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Well, why don’t you argue about something else, then?

    I’m not being challenged on anything else.

    how well your sentences can be diagrammed

    Where did I talk about diagramming sentences?

    argue something worth talking about … the power of Chocolate Jesus to offend

    Actually, I think the Chocolate Jesus thing is about on par with a Will Farrell movie. Is this worth talking about?

    Oh, wait, you aren’t being serious. I forgot.

    Only if serious is defined as real-life identity disclosure.

    So, what are you being, then?

    Interested in discussing the Decline and Fall of the American Empire, the high-jacking of American democracy, the destruction of the freedom of American citizens, the destruction of the middle class for the benefit of a small upper class, the apparently exponential increase in the disparity between the wealthy and the poor in the US, the hypercommercialization of health care, the conflict between the need for immigrant labor to sustain our food supply with the desire not to give taxpayer-provided services to illegal immigrants, the attempt of GeorgeKarl BushRove to channel Mussolini, …

    There’s more, but my fingers are tired.

  92. 92
    Rome Again says:

    If anybody still hasn’t gotten their fill off offense today, follow Sirkowski’s website link. Now that’s my kind of offensive – top shelf stuff. It makes chocolate Jesus look like a candy-ass.

    Thanks Baby Jane, great link. It would be cool to check that out when I’m bored at work. It seems that most of the stuff I like to read isn’t blocked, which means I’ll probably be able to access it. :)

  93. 93
    ThymeZone says:

    Interested in discussing the Decline and Fall of the American Empire, the high-jacking of American democracy, the destruction of the freedom of American citizens, the destruction of the middle class for the benefit of a small upper class, the apparently exponential increase in the disparity between the wealthy and the poor in the US, the hypercommercialization of health care, the conflict between the need for immigrant labor to sustain our food supply with the desire not to give taxpayer-provided services to illegal immigrants, the attempt of GeorgeKarl BushRove to channel Mussolini, …

    You don’t say? Well, if I detect you actually talking about any of those things, I will be sure to tune in.

    Meanwhile, go back to WWF Wrestling or whatever you normally do at this time of day. I posted a position relevant to this thread. I don’t have time for your bullshit.

    And let us know when you want to be taken “seriously” again, will ya?

    TIA

  94. 94
    ThymeZone says:

    Only if serious is defined as real-life identity disclosure.

    Define it any way you like, butthead. Then be sure to tell us whether you are to be taken “seriously” or not at any given time.

    Maybe a (S) or (NS) tag on your posts? Just a suggestion.

  95. 95
    jake says:

    If anybody still hasn’t gotten their fill off offense today, follow Sirkowski’s website link.

    I see you’ve discovered La Donohue’s favourite wank site.

  96. 96
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Well, since you aren’t serious, what are we to do? Take you unseriously.

    I’m serious. I just prefer to keep my name, address, telephone number, and primary e-mail address private. If you want correspondence, use chadenfreude@earthlink.net.

  97. 97
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Then be sure to tell us whether you are to be taken “seriously” or not at any given time.

    Pick any of my postings that appear to you to be non-serious and we can discuss it.

  98. 98
    ThymeZone says:

    I’m serious.

    You are? Well, then point me to your posts on any of those topics you listed earlier as “interested in discussing.”

    Please, let’s have that discussion. You go first.

    Or, you could amaze us with your wisdom on the subject of Chocolate Jesus and His Amazing Johnson and Its Power To Offend.

    What is your thinking? Would a smaller or larger member have incurred less opposition and “offense?”

    How do you feel about really big penises, in general?

    Whether, say, chocolate, or nougat, or flesh, or ….?

    Do you get a hard on when you talk about it?

    Can you send me a picture?

  99. 99
    ThymeZone says:

    Pick any of my postings that appear to you to be non-serious and we can discuss it.

    I am not about to go searching through your postings.

    I don’t go through garbage cans. Pick your own.

  100. 100
    Rome Again says:

    Can you send me a picture?

    There goes the splash screen.

  101. 101
    ThymeZone says:

    There goes the splash screen.

    At least I am not Dick Cheney. I won’t shoot him in the face.

  102. 102
    Rome Again says:

    Pick any of my postings that appear to you to be non-serious and we can discuss it.

    Oh, come on, haven’t you learned yet that the onus is on the person trying to prove a positive, and not the person trying to prove a negative?

  103. 103
    The Easter Bunny says:

    Jesus returned to us as an anthropomorphic bunny that lays colored eggs.

    Post proof or retract, moonbat. I was around long before that hippy showed up. Ooooh, I can turn water into wine. BFD. Try squeezing thousands of pastel eggs out of your ass, pal.

    All this fuss about the Holy chocolate longjohn is just a distraction from what Easter is really about: brightly colored eggs, laughing children, candy, and wiping the Canuckistani scurge from the face of the Earth.

    Peeps Peace, bitches!

  104. 104
    demimondian says:

    TZ, you’re being an overbearing twit. You make yourself accessible, yes, but as far as I know, you’re the only “regular” who does, and some of us are quite radical about hiding our identities, for whatever our reasons are.

    Now, some of us should never be taken seriously, but if having a _nom d’ecrit_ makes one a spoof, then there are very few real people here at all.

  105. 105
    ThymeZone says:

    You’ve got to accentuate the positive
    Eliminate the negative
    And latch on to the affirmative
    Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

    You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
    Bring gloom down to the minimum
    Have faith or pandemonium’s
    Liable to walk upon the scene

    To illustrate my last remark
    Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
    What did they do just when everything looked so dark?

    (Man, they said “We’d better accentuate the positive”)
    (“Eliminate the negative”)
    (“And latch on to the affirmative”)
    Don’t mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
    Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

    (Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
    (Bring gloom down to the minimum)
    (Have faith or pandemonium’s)
    (Liable to walk upon the scene)

    You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
    Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
    And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
    Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
    No, don’t mess with Mister In-Between

  106. 106
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Well, if I detect you actually talking about any of those things, I will be sure to tune in.

    Well, there’s this. And this.And this.
    Not a lot about the economic issues, though, so I guess you got me.

  107. 107
    ThymeZone says:

    then there are very few real people here at all.

    Brilliant. Did you just think this up all by yourself?

    What is your fucking point? Two years now, I’ve never seen you actually have one. Amaze me.

  108. 108
    Chad N. Freude says:

    I am not about to go searching through your postings.

    Then I guess you won’t bother to check the pointers in my last post. Too bad. That makes a dialog kind of tricky.

  109. 109
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Just saw that the pointers message I referred to is äwaiting moderation.” This will cause the dialog to become non-sequential and then even sillier and more irrational than it is already.

  110. 110
    Chad N. Freude says:

    You’ve got to accentuate the positive

    Omigod! Five by Design.

  111. 111
    ThymeZone says:

    That makes a dialog kind of tricky.

    Wait … your schtick here is aimed at provoking dialogue?

    Who knew?

    Okay, dialogue away. I’ve made several posts here concerning the “offense” created by Jesus’ Johnson.

    Did I miss your posts on this subject?

    Wait, let me take another couple hours and scour the thread for them again ….. give me time. I will need lots of time.

    I know they are there somewhere.

    Chad Speaks on the subject of Jesus’ Offensive Johnson.

    It’s there somewhere, I just know.

    Oh, show some mercy. Just tell me what your position is on this. Save my old eyes from this futile search.

    Give me a complete sentence that describes your view on this, please. Can you do that? Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last?

    For extra credit, and without Google, identify the origin of that last sentence.

  112. 112
    Rome Again says:

    Just saw that the pointers message I referred to is äwaiting moderation.” This will cause the dialog to become non-sequential and then even sillier and more irrational than it is already.

    Well, if it’s awaiting moderation, that doesn’t actually make it yours, does it? I mean one posted by “Chad N. Freude”

  113. 113
    Baby Jane says:

    This thread is gettin’ all bizarro world ob-wings-like. Next thing you know, Gary Farber is gonna pop in and correct somebody’s ebonics or something.

  114. 114
    Rome Again says:

    Omigod! Five by Design.

    Omigod! Never heard of them, and their website doesn’t exactly draw me in.

  115. 115
    ThymeZone says:

    This thread is gettin’ all bizarro

    Yes, it’s called the Steve Effect.

  116. 116
    jake says:

    Let’s see, what else has gotten Willie D. in a dither of late?

    “It is unconscionable that in this day and age Superintendent Rearick would choose to honor a thief. As every schoolchild knows, Peter Rabbit stole from Mr. McGregor’s garden. To now hold him up as a role model to impressionable youngsters sends the wrong signal. At the very least, grief counselors should be dispatched to tomorrow’s event.

    Unless the CL’s site has been hacked, I am not making this shit up.

    I don’t think he’d like this song either.

  117. 117
    Rome Again says:

    This thread is gettin’ all bizarro

    Hey, you helped with that link to misswhatshername.

  118. 118
    ThymeZone says:

    This will cause the dialog to become non-sequential and then even sillier and more irrational than it is already.

    Did you possibly do a typo on your email addy or handle?

    Did you post from an unrecognized ip address?

  119. 119
    Rome Again says:

    Unless the CL’s site has been hacked, I am not making this shit up.

    Well, you know about those catholics and their idols.

    By the way, the Old Testament God approves of this message, so back off.

  120. 120
    ThymeZone says:

    By the way, the Old Testament God approves of this message, so back off.

    That is a GREAT line.

  121. 121
    Rome Again says:

    That is a GREAT line.

    I’d take a high-five, but I can’t… God told me to say it.

  122. 122
    ThymeZone says:

    God told me to say it.

    He obviously favors you.

  123. 123
    Baby Jane says:

    Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail don’t have a rapsheet. Heh.

  124. 124
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Did I miss your posts on this subject?

    I only made one, disagreeing with the way you defined “offensive”.

    Just tell me what your position is on this.

    Clarity ensues: I really don’t care who insults which religious icon. I think Dug Jay’s implication that the Right is somehow better than the Left because (his presumption) the Left thinks that it’s OK to make fun of Christian icons but not OK to to make fun of Muslim icons is either unthinking or disingenuous. The Chocolate Jesus outrage could be better channeled into outrage at the hypocrisy of the self-proclaimed followers of all religions. Oh, yeah, and the outraged Christians are fools who don’t understand that if they ignored the insult, it would fade into the mists of the past, never to be seen again — they keep it alive.

    Please put your contribution into the spoof jar.

    Give me a complete sentence that describes your view on this, please. Can you do that? Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last?

    That’s Joseph Welch at the Army-McCarthy hearings after a vicious political attack on a member of his staff, Fred Something-I-Would-Have-To-Google-Because-I-Don’t-Remember-It. He had been a member of some lefty organization in law school and had no record of any activities that could cause his patriotism to be challenged. Oops, that’s two sentence. Does that invalidate my answer?

  125. 125
    Rome Again says:

    He obviously favors you.

    He favors anyone who seeks out real truth. The problem is so many people only accept other people’s versions of truth.

  126. 126
    Chad N. Freude says:

    chadenfreude@earthlink.net

    Doubt it, but chadenfreude@earthlink.net should work. At the moment, it says I have no new messages.

  127. 127
    ThymeZone says:

    I only made one, disagreeing with the way you defined “offensive”.

    I’ll allow the objection. I could have been clearer by confining my blast to the Jesus Johnson context. In that context, I stand by my remark. Outside of it … not so much.

    Clarity ensues: I really don’t care who insults which religious icon. I think Dug Jay’s implication that the Right is somehow better than the Left because (his presumption) the Left thinks that it’s OK to make fun of Christian icons but not OK to to make fun of Muslim icons is either unthinking or disingenuous. The Chocolate Jesus outrage could be better channeled into outrage at the hypocrisy of the self-proclaimed followers of all religions. Oh, yeah, and the outraged Christians are fools who don’t understand that if they ignored the insult, it would fade into the mists of the past, never to be seen again—they keep it alive.

    Well, Dug Jay is total spoof. So, whatever. I agree about the foolish Xtians. I don’t agree that the thing is an insult. It’s just a presentation of a symbol which they have chosen to interpret as an insult. Other than that, agreed.

    That’s Joseph Welch at the Army-McCarthy hearings after a vicious political attack on a member of his staff, Fred Something-I-Would-Have-To-Google-Because-I-Don’t-Remember-It. He had been a member of some lefty organization in law school and had no record of any activities that could cause his patriotism to be challenged. Oops, that’s two sentence. Does that invalidate my answer?

    No, I’ll take your first sentence as your answer. Which is correct. If you knew this without looking it up, then you get the carwash coupon.

  128. 128
    Chad N. Freude says:

    You just missed the opportunity to come up with something really interesting. Who would have known differently if you made it believable. You aren’t very creative, I guess.

    Arrrgh! My incompetence has been exposed. Nothing left now but hara-kiri.

  129. 129
    Baby Jane says:

    Oh, yeah, and the outraged Christians are fools who don’t understand that if they ignored the insult, it would fade into the mists of the past, never to be seen again—they keep it alive.

    I think this is incorrect. I see it more as a variation of ‘any press is good press’ – any outrage is good outrage.

  130. 130
    Rome Again says:

    I think this is incorrect. I see it more as a variation of ‘any press is good press’ – any outrage is good outrage.

    When did Jesus (not TZ’s yard man) approve of outrage?

  131. 131
    Baby Jane says:

    What’s Jesus got to do with it?

  132. 132
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Other than that, agreed.

    Damn! There goes my only reason for posting.

    I’ll take your first sentence as your answer.

    OH! ThankyouThankyouThankyou! This is more meaningful than my SAT score.

    you get the carwash coupon

    I don’t want to appear ungrateful, but could I have round-trip plane fare to Europe instead?

  133. 133
    ThymeZone says:

    When did Jesus (not TZ’s yard man) approve of outrage?

    Good point. And my yard man? He is easily outraged. When he sees a weed, or a frost-damaged shrub …. hoooo boy.

    Then the stream of Spanish invectives comes ……

  134. 134
    Baby Jane says:

    [/tina turner voice]

  135. 135
    ThymeZone says:

    This is more meaningful than my SAT score.

    Yes, with this, you can skip American History 101 with credit.

  136. 136
    ThymeZone says:

    but could I have round-trip plane fare to Europe instead?

    Yes, if you could forward me your credit card number, three digit security code, and expiration date, I will take care of it for you.

  137. 137
    Chad N. Freude says:

    I think this is incorrect. I see it more as a variation of ‘any press is good press’ – any outrage is good outrage.

    An arguable point. But that would make it mock outrage, which would be hypocrisy, so it can’t be right.

  138. 138
    Rome Again says:

    What’s Jesus got to do with it?

    Oh, that’s right, I forgot, Christianity isn’t really about Jesus, it’s about showing off how good a person is because he prays, and goes home and beats his wife, and screws children and is pompous ass to everyone around him, yet he goes to church so he’s “saved”.

  139. 139
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Yes, if you could forward me your credit card number, three digit security code, and expiration date, I will take care of it for you.

    Indeed I could. So now you’re committed. Where’s the check?

  140. 140
    Baby Jane says:

    An arguable point. But that would make it mock outrage, which would be hypocrisy, so it can’t be right.

    It isn’t right, is it? I’m outraged!

  141. 141
    Chad N. Freude says:

    and is pompous ass

    J F’ing C! An omitted article. How in hell do you expect to be taken seriously here?

  142. 142
    ThymeZone says:

    Where’s the check?

    The …. uh …. what?

    Heh heh.

    Did you mean “chuck?” That’s over by the sirloin …..

  143. 143
    Baby Jane says:

    Oh, that’s right, I forgot, Christianity isn’t really about Jesus, it’s about showing off how good a person is because he prays, and goes home and beats his wife, and screws children and is pompous ass to everyone around him, yet he goes to church so he’s “saved”.

    O’Reilly’s Christianity in a Nutshell.

  144. 144
    Chad N. Freude says:

    it’s about showing off how good a person is because he prays, and goes home and beats his wife, and screws children and is pompous ass to everyone around him, yet he goes to church so he’s “saved”.

    Could we please stop talking about James Dobson?

  145. 145
    ThymeZone says:

    How in hell do you expect to be taken seriously here?

    You learn quickly, grasshopper.

  146. 146
    Rome Again says:

    J F’ing C! An omitted article. How in hell do you expect to be taken seriously here?

    Eh?

  147. 147
    Chad N. Freude says:

    The …. uh …. what?

    Heh heh.

    Did you mean “chuck?” That’s over by the sirloin …..

    OMG! I actually laughed out loud at that.
    Welsher.

  148. 148
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Eh?

    Rome, the “a” was omitted.

  149. 149
    Rome Again says:

    Rome, the “a” was omitted.

    No shit Sherlock, and how do you pronounce “eh”?

  150. 150
    Chad N. Freude says:

    You learn quickly, grasshopper.

    Dude, I told you, I’ve been here before.
    So many lives, so little time.

  151. 151
    Baby Jane says:

    Dude, I told you, I’ve been here before.
    So many lives, so little time.

    So little life, so much time.

  152. 152
    Chad N. Freude says:

    No shit Sherlock, and how do you pronounce “eh”?

    Like the “e” in the Spanish “es”. Not like the “ai” in “the rehn in Spehn”.

  153. 153
    Chad N. Freude says:

    So little life, so much time.

    And that’s how I spend my Saturday nights.

  154. 154
    ThymeZone says:

    Welsher.

    Now, now. You’re getting $100-a-post lessons here for free.

    Think of the long term value.

    I don’t give this stuff away that often.

  155. 155
    Rome Again says:

    Damn, I’m here because I’m addicted… if I wanted to, I could be so many other places. I must be sick, huh?

  156. 156
    ThymeZone says:

    Like the “e” in the Spanish “es”

    Well, not in Canada. Or Minnesota.

  157. 157
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Um, have we gone off-topic? That pitiful chocolate guy being crucified (better him than me) no longer has our attention. He risks being replaced by Sanjaya.

  158. 158
    Fruitbat Jones says:

    I cannot believe you linked to digby. Simply cannot believe what I’m seeing.

    Johnny…visit a doctor. I’m worried.

  159. 159
    Chad N. Freude says:

    I don’t give this stuff away that often.

    And that’s a bad thing?

  160. 160
    Rome Again says:

    Like the “e” in the Spanish “es”. Not like the “ai” in “the rehn in Spehn”.

    The Aussies took their language from the Spaniards?

  161. 161
    ThymeZone says:

    That pitiful chocolate guy being crucified

    I think we’ll need to warm up the nails.

    And that’s a bad thing?

    I must earn a crust.

  162. 162
    Baby Jane says:

    That pitiful chocolate guy being crucified (better him than me) no longer has our attention.

    Right. Outrage. Christians.

    *yawn*

  163. 163
    Baby Jane says:

    apparently surrounding text with asterisks is code for bold.

  164. 164
    Rome Again says:

    Yes, yes it is Baby Jane. Now you know :winks:

  165. 165
    Chad N. Freude says:

    apparently surrounding text with asterisks is code for bold.

    Why does this make me think of World War II spy thrillers?

  166. 166
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Hey, Baby Jane –

    Whatever happened to you?

  167. 167
    ThymeZone says:

    Why does this make me think of World War II spy thrillers?

    You just gave me an idea.

    What if Darrell is actually a Navajo Code Talker?

  168. 168
    ThymeZone says:

    Hey, Baby Jane –
    Whatever happened to you?

    Diet Pepsi alert …

    spit over two feet.

    Very good. Very very good. Now my expensive laptop is ruined.

  169. 169
    Rome Again says:

    Hey, Baby Jane –
    Whatever happened to you?

    Kudos! THAT was good.

  170. 170
    Chad N. Freude says:

    … not attacked or insulted by ThymeZone for several minutes now … getting faint … losing consciousness … Oh, God, TZ help me … say something negative about my credibility … (gasp) …

  171. 171
    Baby Jane says:

    Whatever happened to you?

    NSL

  172. 172
    Chad N. Freude says:

    You just gave me an idea.

    Oh dear God I’m doomed.

  173. 173
    Chad N. Freude says:

    NSL

    You joined the National Soccer League?

  174. 174
    ThymeZone says:

    say something negative about my credibility

    I would, if I thought you had any.

    Ba-da-boom!

  175. 175
    Rome Again says:

    Oh dear God I’m doomed.

    LMAO

  176. 176
    ThymeZone says:

    Oh dear God I’m doomed.

    AH-DA-AH-HO-DZAH ?

  177. 177
    Baby Jane says:

    What the hell is a national soccer league?

  178. 178
    Chad N. Freude says:

    you can skip American History 101

    This is late (I’m really slow) but anyway:

    Does this qualify me for a position in the Bush administration?

  179. 179
    ThymeZone says:

    Does this qualify me for a position in the Bush administration?

    Yes, as long as you graduated from an Evangelical college.

  180. 180
    Chad N. Freude says:

    What the hell is a national soccer league?

    I have no idea what NSL stands for. Why not this?

  181. 181
    Baby Jane says:

    OT: I don’t know if anybody is watching SNL, but some guy from some band just smashed his acoustic guitar after doing their sing-song bit. Instant lame.

  182. 182
    Rome Again says:

    Does this qualify me for a position in the Bush administration?

    Depends, how loyal are you? Do you crack under pressure, or would you enjoy taking the trip under the bus when a scapegoat is needed?

  183. 183
    Rome Again says:

    SNL has been lame for almost fifteen years. I can’t believe it’s still on.

  184. 184
    Chad N. Freude says:

    AH-DA-AH-HO-DZAH ?

    OK, Dude, I got your message. The aliens who abducted me speak the same dialect.

  185. 185
    Baby Jane says:

    National Security Letter

  186. 186
    Baby Jane says:

    SNL has been lame for almost fifteen years.

    Yes. I meant the band. That band just got wedgied by their doofus guitar-smashing frontman.

  187. 187
    Rome Again says:

    The aliens who abducted me speak the same dialect.

    Did they stick that lazar tool in your head too? I understand they do that to all the alien abductees, at least that’s what I’ve heard. I wouldn’t know, personally.

  188. 188
    ThymeZone says:

    The aliens who abducted me speak the same dialect.

    Bad news. They are going to eat you.

    Hey, keep a stiff upper lip. (That’s where they put the seasoning packet).

  189. 189
    Chad N. Freude says:

    National Security Letter

    Ah. Excuse me for a moment, someone is knocking at my door.

  190. 190
    Rome Again says:

    laser… I can’t type… I’m out!

  191. 191
    Baby Jane says:

    BJ server response is gettin’ a little flakey. John must be downloading the pr0n.

  192. 192
    Chad N. Freude says:

    laser… I can’t type… I’m out!

    Perhaps if you used a more primitive device?

  193. 193
    ThymeZone says:

    It’s approaching the hour of the nightly Word Press crash.

    2007 and they can’t invent a blog server that stays up all night.

  194. 194
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Did they stick that lazar tool in your head too?

    No, but the probes were UNBELIEVABLE!

    Is “lazar” a really incredibly sophisticated reference to “Fiddler on the Roof”?

  195. 195
    Chad N. Freude says:

    a blog server that stays up all night

    BLOG SERVERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

  196. 196
    Rome Again says:

    2007 and they can’t invent a blog server that stays up all night.

    It’s not Word Press… when BJ goes down, I can still access another Word Press site.

  197. 197
    ThymeZone says:

    when BJ goes down, I can still access another Word Press site.

    Really? Hmm. Well I don’t know how PJ-BJ-WP is architected.

    And please don’t use the terms “BJ” and “goes down” in the same post with me, I am in a really weak state right now ….

    { thud }

  198. 198
    Rome Again says:

    Is “lazar” a really incredibly sophisticated reference to “Fiddler on the Roof”?

    No, it’s a mistake, because I’m a lefty lefty… I get a little confused sometimes.

    I mean, the entire world IS backwards to me, you know.

    One theory of what causes left handedness is birth stress. I’m inclined to think that my mother would be left handed rather than me, since I came out ass first.

  199. 199
    Rome Again says:

    And please don’t use the terms “BJ” and “goes down” in the same post with me, I am in a really weak state right now ….

    { thud }

    Oh, sorry sir, I hadn’t realized! ROTFLMFAO!

  200. 200
    Baby Jane says:

    I don’t think he’s on a WordPress server, but rather a host using WordPress software.

  201. 201
    Chad N. Freude says:

    And please don’t use the terms “BJ” …

    Ha, ha, I win. I held out longer than you did on this stupid, obvious, and may I add atrocious, non-joke.

  202. 202
    Baby Jane says:

    …a host with lotsa midnight pr0n activity.

  203. 203
    ThymeZone says:

    I held out longer than you did on this stupid, obvious, and may I add atrocious, non-joke.

    I was being quite serious.

    How cruel of you to make fun of a desperate soul such as myself.

    Cruel, I say.

  204. 204
    Chad N. Freude says:

    No, it’s a mistake, because I’m a lefty lefty

    I’m sorry to learn of your affliction. Not that you’re afflicted, but that I learned of it.
    Anyway, the point of my question was to establish my cred with the classic musical comedy lovers, whose concerns are much more serious than the establishment of a self-perpetuating fascist regime in the US.

    Am I in now? Can I get tickets?

  205. 205
    Baby Jane says:

    Desperate grandpas are hot.

  206. 206
    ThymeZone says:

    Desperate grandpas are hot.

    Thank you. At least somebody understands.

  207. 207
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Desperate grandpas

    How did you know? How did I give it away?

    are hot

    You got that right!

  208. 208
    Rome Again says:

    Am I in now? Can I get tickets?

    Oh, I’m sorry Chad, I laughed a few times since December 2000, I deeply apologize. (No, not really!)

    You think that because I like to have fun I have no feelings of outrage towards all the shit this administration has do6+ tne in the last 6+ years? You would be wrong.

  209. 209
    Baby Jane says:

    Holy smokes. This is a geriatric center. Rome are you on your way out too?

  210. 210
    ThymeZone says:

    Welp, it’s been a blast, but time’s up on this dialysis machine – PC. Gotta give up my bed to the next patient.

    Hey, can somebody grab my walker?

    HEY, I MEANT GRAB IT FOR ME, asswipe! Not run off with it.

    Jeesh. Respect your elders, for cryin out loud.

  211. 211
    Rome Again says:

    Well, I do have grey hair (easily covered by haircolor) and a denture (most people think they’re my natural teeth), does that make me qualify?

    I can still make a head turn though, ask the guy who stared at me all night long in a bar two weeks ago… and went home without me.

  212. 212
    ThymeZone says:

    I can still make a head turn though, ask the guy who stared at me all night long in a bar two weeks ago… and went home without me.

    That was you?

    What was it, my bow tie that scared you off?

  213. 213
    Rome Again says:

    That was you?

    What was it, my bow tie that scared you off?

    Yeah, I’m sorry, the Tucker Carlson look doesn’t do anything for me.

  214. 214
    ThymeZone says:

    the Tucker Carlson look doesn’t do anything for me.

    Dang!

  215. 215
    Baby Jane says:

    Yup, you’re a sexy beast too, Rome.

    Nite all.

    I’m outta here. It’s time to head out for some dancing, boozing, floozing and other outrageous shenanigans.

  216. 216
    Chad N. Freude says:

    You think that because I like to have fun I have no feelings of outrage towards all the shit this administration has do6+ tne in the last 6+ years? You would be wrong.

    I would hope that by now my friends — OK, the people here with whom I banter and/or exchange inflammatory insults, who are people who do not come to my front door to rip my throat out (that’s friendship, isn’t it?) — realize that the sarcastic dialog does not negate, derogate, or diminish our outrage at the dismantling of every advance of civilization since 1600.

  217. 217
    Baby Jane says:

    pssst…Don’t tell anyone, but I’m vintage too.

    nite

  218. 218
    Rome Again says:

    Well, Chad, I apologize if I mistook this:

    Anyway, the point of my question was to establish my cred with the classic musical comedy lovers, whose concerns are much more serious than the establishment of a self-perpetuating fascist regime in the US.

    for you saying I didn’t care about what’s going in in this insane administration.

  219. 219
    Rome Again says:

    pssst…Don’t tell anyone, but I’m vintage too.

    nite

    pssssst, I won’t.

    g’nite Baby Jane

  220. 220
    Rome Again says:

    I would hope that by now my friends

    Gosh Chad, I hardly know ya. I make acquaintances first, let me get to know you first before we start being BFF, okay?

  221. 221
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Ah, desert me will you? Leave me alone to suffer the slings and arrowsof an on-line geeky non-life? I hate you I hate you I hate you.

    But I’ll be back. I’m a friend of Stephen King.

    Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

  222. 222
    Rome Again says:

    Actually, I should be honest with you Chad, my BFF belongs to someone else. I’m sorry if this saddens you, really I am.

  223. 223
    ThymeZone says:

    Leave me alone

    We’ll always have Paris.

  224. 224

    A number of years back Tom Waits did a song called “Chocolate Jesus”. See a video clip of that song and a satirical attempt to answer the pressing question, “Does Jesus melt in your mouth, not in your hand?…here:

    http://www.thoughttheater.com

  225. 225
    Nick Kasoff says:

    Digby misses the mark here. The fact that there are great works depicting a nude Christ is irrelevant. Intent is what matters. Was this supposed to be the Sistine Chapel, or Piss Christ? I’m guessing the latter, though it is only a guess.

    In any case, it is a bit much to call Donohue a “screaming nutcase.” After all, if this had been a nude statue of Mohammed exhibited during Ramadan, somebody probably would have blown up the hotel. And much of the American left would have said we deserved it.

    Nick Kasoff
    The Thug Report

  226. 226
    Ben says:

    Nick,
    Donahue is a “screaming nutcase”, along with the rest of the jesus freaks. The only difference between our religious whackjobs and the Islamist ones are that the ones here have a political system to abuse therefor don’t have to resort to violence… unless you count Matthew Sheppard.

  227. 227
    ThymeZone says:

    Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, fumed, “It’s an all-out war on Christianity. They wouldn’t show a depiction of Martin Luther King Jr. with genitals exposed on Martin Luther King Day, and they wouldn’t show Muhammad depicted this way during Ramadan. It’s always Christians, and the timing is deliberate.”

    Are sure that Donohue isn’t a spoof? Because that is really some great material.

    A chocolate statue is “an all-out war?” Wow. I’d think if the Jesus concealed plastic explosive and was sent as a Trojan Savior to a Baptist convention …maybe an all-out war. Otherwise, even at its worst, it’s nothing but a spitwad.

    Martin Luther King with his genitals exposed? King had genitals? I always thought that he, like Jesus and other really sacrosanct celebrities, had no genitals.

    And, “the timing is deliberate?” I dunno, somehow a chocolate Jesus on Veterans Day doesn’t really do anything for me. So, Easter just seems like the right idea to me.

    I love chocolate Jesus. He’s the most real Jesus I ever saw.

  228. 228
    ThymeZone says:

    As for Veterans Day, I propose a Chocolate John McCain. At least he is real, live hero.

    Discuss, ridicule.

  229. 229
    Rome Again says:

    A chocolate statue is “an all-out war?” Wow. I’d think if the Jesus concealed plastic explosive and was sent as a Trojan Savior to a Baptist convention …maybe an all-out war. Otherwise, even at its worst, it’s nothing but a spitwad.

    I thought Christians WANTED a war, isn’t why they’re called Christian Soldiers? Isn’t that why they’re looking forward to Armageddon and Jesus’ return (which ain’t happenin’) so they can be smug and say “I told you so”?

  230. 230
    ThymeZone says:

    Isn’t that why they’re looking forward to Armageddon and Jesus’ return (which ain’t happenin’) so they can be smug and say “I told you so”?

    Um, yes.

  231. 231
    ThymeZone says:

    How about a whole Diorama called Chocolate Apocalypse?

    Or, a big mess of broken chocolate pieces called Chocolate Iraq?

    Would these offend. I hope so, which is why I am for them.

  232. 232
    Rome Again says:

    Um, yes.

    and don’t forget “You’re going to burn in HELL”

  233. 233
    ThymeZone says:

    don’t forget “You’re going to burn in HELL”

    Heh. I grew up in Phoenix. Hell doesn’t scare me.

  234. 234
    Rome Again says:

    Did you ever notice how easily those six words roll off their tongues? How they seem to almost get a woody over the thought “you’re going to burn in Hell?”

  235. 235

    In any case, it is a bit much to call Donohue a “screaming nutcase.” After all, if this had been a nude statue of Mohammed exhibited during Ramadan, somebody probably would have blown up the hotel. And much of the American left would have said we deserved it.

    You’re a pretty good spoof, Nick. But rather than American left, you should use a word like moonbat. It makes you sound more credible.

    Although the racist website you link to is a nice touch, kind of makes you sound serious.

  236. 236
    ThymeZone says:

    How they seem to almost get a woody over the thought “you’re going to burn in Hell?”

    Careful. Darrell will get aroused if you keep talking like that.

    Which reminds me …. Darrell still hasn’t sent me his picture.

  237. 237
    Rome Again says:

    And much of the American left would have said we deserved it.

    Just because I don’t wave an American flag or a Bible doesn’t mean I wave a Koran or any other flags either.

    I have this bad taste in my mouth about organized patriotism of any sort.

  238. 238
    Rome Again says:

    Which reminds me …. Darrell still hasn’t sent me his picture.

    Are you sad?

  239. 239
    ThymeZone says:

    Are you sad?

    Well, more disappointed than sad.

  240. 240
    Rome Again says:

    Well, more disappointed than sad.

    I’d send you my picture to cheer you up, but I know that you would still be disappointed, so I won’t.

  241. 241
    ThymeZone says:

    I’d send you my picture to cheer you up,

    Your picture of Darrell? He sent you his picture, and not me?

    That ungrateful bastard.

  242. 242
    Rome Again says:

    Your picture of Darrell? He sent you his picture, and not me?

    Silly!

  243. 243
    Rome Again says:

    Oops, forgot to blockquote, sorry.

  244. 244
    Punchy says:

    The prob they have with Chocolate Hey-zeus is that he’s dark-skinned. As someone WAY above said, if they’d done this in white chocolate, Catholic Lickspittle Racist Fuck Donahue doesn’t say shit.

    My take. And what p-squared Gaz said above.

  245. 245
    Chad N. Freude says:

    And much of the American left would have said we deserved it.

    Ri-i-ight. Just like most of the American left said we deserved the World Trade Center catastrophe, and most of the American left said we deserved Tim McVeigh’s Oklahoma City bombing … Oh, wait, that was most of the American right.

    The sweeping attribution of bad attitudes and vile thoughts to an ill-defined, symbolically named, amorphous but nonetheless uniformly-in-lockstep group is a rhetorical device right up there with “some say …”

    Thank you for elevating the level of discourse.

  246. 246
    ThymeZone says:

    I think it’s hilarious that Christianity thinks it is hanging by such a slender thread that a chocolate statue represents an “all out war” against it.

    If I had known that, I’d have mooned the Xtians a long time ago and learned how to fart the Lord’s Prayer. Christianity would now be a thing of the past.

    Whoop, that’s it, lambs of God! We’ve been fart-insulted, it’s all over. Two thousand years of work, in the crapper.

  247. 247
    Punchy says:

    OT–

    Oh. My. GOD.

    Tim, please…PLEASE do a post on this. Hands down the easiest way to lose a keyboard to whatever’s in your mouth.

  248. 248
    ThymeZone says:

    PLEASE do a post on this. Hands down

    You’re just really penis obsessed, aren’t ya?

    Um, can you send me a picture?

  249. 249
    ThymeZone says:

    The sweeping attribution of bad attitudes and vile thoughts to an ill-defined, symbolically named, amorphous but nonetheless uniformly-in-lockstep group is a rhetorical device right up there with Darrell

    Adjusted.

  250. 250

    BTW…

    The belief that this is somehow offensive, is pretty moronic.

    On the other hand, the belief that this guy is an artist, is similarly moronic.

    They can have each other… Donohue and this “artist”. The only thing I can think of more worthless to our society are Realtors.

  251. 251
    Chad N. Freude says:

    a rhetorical device right up there with Darrell

    Dude, you are obsessed. Some say.

  252. 252
    Rome Again says:

    They can have each other… Donohue and this “artist”. The only thing I can think of more worthless to our society are Realtors.

    Not lawyers?

  253. 253
    Rome Again says:

    Or car salesmen?

  254. 254
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Or Bush administration appointees?

  255. 255
    Rome Again says:

    Or Bush administration appointees?

    yeah, that! I change my answer, Chad has it right.

  256. 256
    ThymeZone says:

    Dude, you are obsessed. Some say.

    According to everything I’ve read, you are wrong.

  257. 257
    Dug Jay says:

    As requested, here’s a recent picture of ThymeZone.

  258. 258
    Zifnab says:

    John McCain? Didn’t he have an illegitimate black baby?

  259. 259
    Chad N. Freude says:

    John McCain? Didn’t he have an illegitimate black baby?

    I think you’re confusing him with Thomas Jefferson.

  260. 260
    Rome Again says:

    I think you’re confusing him with Thomas Jefferson.

    Don’t you mean Strom Thurmond? You don’t have to go all the way back to the 1700’s to find such behavior, ya know.

  261. 261
    Rome Again says:

    Of course, if you’re only trying to pin it on Democrats, well, I understand Barak Obama has black babies too!

  262. 262
    Tim F. says:

    Punchy,

    That video just makes me want to nut-kick the genius who left coevolution and selective breeding out of the public school curriculum.

  263. 263
    Punchy says:

    Oh…but Tim…it gets worse. Much, much worse.

    If this doesn’t have you rolling on the floor, just remember….some people believe this stuff…

  264. 264
    Baby Jane says:

    some people believe this stuff…

    Do they really? Or do they just want any reason to not believe in other stuff?

  265. 265
    Rome Again says:

    Oh…but Tim…it gets worse. Much, much worse.

    Well, he does have a point, I mean, if you take a bunch of heathens and place them on bonfires, Jesus is alive and well.

  266. 266
    Chad N. Freude says:

    The Peanut Butter Proof is the strongest argument against evolution I’ve ever heard. I have taken numerous science course at reputable institutions (almost as prestigious as the Discovery Institute), and I have never encountered such a compelling analysis. Just think, if evolution were real, we would all starve, and God would never let that happen. (He only allows people to nail other people to wooden structures, but that’s a topic for another time.)

    And if further proof were needed, it’s obvious that if evolution were real, individuals who accept this kind of analysis would have died off because survival requires skills that they clearly don’t possess. Since they are still among us, evolution could not have occurred. QED.

  267. 267
    Chad N. Freude says:

    “course”should have been “courses”, of course.

  268. 268
    Rome Again says:

    The Peanut Butter Proof is the strongest argument against evolution I’ve ever heard.

    Yeah, well, I’m sure if you took a bunch of women, ripped out their uteri, killed them, chopped them up into little bits, stirred until fully mixed and stuck the end result in jars, you wouldn’t find life there either.

  269. 269
    Chad N. Freude says:

    ripped … killed … chopped

    Christian imagery.

    Rome, no offense (pace ThymeZone), but it’s not clear to me from your post if you read past the first sentence.

  270. 270

    Are sure that Donohue isn’t a spoof? Because that is really some great material.

    At this point, the entire conservative movement is spoof. The spoofers took over the conservative blogosphere, and the politicians and pundits decided to pander to their most vocal audience. The rest is history.

    A chocolate statue is “an all-out war?” Wow. I’d think if the Jesus concealed plastic explosive and was sent as a Trojan Savior to a Baptist convention …maybe an all-out war. Otherwise, even at its worst, it’s nothing but a spitwad.

    Chocolate sneaks cholesterol into your heart. If your heart is Troy, this analogy is perfect.

    Let Jesus into your heart… but not Chocolate Jesus, he’ll kill you.

  271. 271
    Rome Again says:

    Rome, no offense (pace ThymeZone), but it’s not clear to me from your post if you read past the first sentence.

    Why, am I required to read every single word you post? I did, but what is it to you if I didn’t? Do you think your post was clear on your position? It looked like gobbledygook to me.

    Christian imagery.

    It’s so easy to spot, isn’t it?

  272. 272
    ThymeZone says:

    Chocolate sneaks cholesterol into your heart.

    Uh, no. Cholesterol only exists in the animal kingdom, chocolate is from plants.

    Chocolate Jesus is all about heart-healthy.

    Now, sweetened chocolate, eaten to excess, may raise triglycerides. But that’s about sugar, not chocolate.

  273. 273

    The Peanut Butter Proof is the strongest argument against evolution I’ve ever heard. I have taken numerous science course at reputable institutions (almost as prestigious as the Discovery Institute), and I have never encountered such a compelling analysis. Just think, if evolution were real, we would all starve, and God would never let that happen. (He only allows people to nail other people to wooden structures, but that’s a topic for another time.)

    God has lots of fun. Sometimes, He lets a guy in a boat save all non-aquatic species of life on Earth.

    Other times, He allows one of his prophets to summon giant she-bears from the forest to devour children who taunted him for his baldness.

    Then when He’s feeling the need to make a rhetorical point, He’ll allow another prophet to have a child with a prostitute, naming that child “You Are Not My People”, and having another child with a different prostitute, naming that child “No More Mercy”; for that’s how God gets His point across when He wants to kill you, for so shall He say to you that you are not His people and He will show you no mercy, and that’s why He told his prophet to go have sex with these two hookers. Selah.

  274. 274

    Uh, no. Cholesterol only exists in the animal kingdom, chocolate is from plants

    I thought it had dairy in it. Isn’t the cacao bean processed with milk and shit?

    Now my whole theological worldview is in turmoil. Get thee behind me, Satan!

  275. 275
    ThymeZone says:

    God has lots of fun.

    Yeah, as near as I can tell, He is a sociopath.

  276. 276
    Rome Again says:

    Now, sweetened chocolate, eaten to excess, may raise triglycerides. But that’s about sugar, not chocolate.

    Back in the early 1980’s my father had the highest triglyceride count ever recorded. He hid candy in one cupboard, while mom hid the booze in another. I was privvy to watching both of them sneak their treats on a constant basis. Of course my father was a bit more open about it – “Shhh, don’t tell mom, I’m not supposed to have this”; while my mother would just talk to me while reaching for the booze and think I never noticed at all.

  277. 277

    Which is more offensive, the idea of Jesus cast in all-chocolate, or the idea of Jesus as an Aryan with no genitals?

    The truth, as usual, lies somewhere in the middle. There will undoubtedly be some controversy over this contentious issue, but I have no doubt that in about six months, cooler heads will prevail and we’ll all have this matter in its proper perspective.

    This has been my weekly edition of centrist spoof-talk. I thank you for your time.

  278. 278
    Rome Again says:

    Isn’t the cacao bean processed with milk and shit?

    Yeah, processing is done by humans. Does Baker’s Chocolate have that processing? Not as far as I can see.

  279. 279

    Yeah, as near as I can tell, He is a sociopath.

    Yet when Clinton had giant she-bears released out of the forest to devour the schoolchildren who were taunting him over Lewinsky-gate, you were all for it, you moonbat hypocrite!

  280. 280
    ThymeZone says:

    I thought it had dairy in it.

    Are you talking about milk chocolate? Not all chocolate contains butterfat or dairy products.

  281. 281

    Yeah, processing is done by humans. Does Baker’s Chocolate have that processing? Not as far as I can see.

    Chocolate Christ is human, too, though. Well, part-human. The evil, sinful part, that makes us fat and gives us acne.

  282. 282
    Rome Again says:

    re: processing… I see no milk in dark chocolate processing, nor do I see where they add “shit”.

  283. 283
    Chad N. Freude says:

    am I required to read every single word you post?

    No, of course not, but if the intent is satire or sarcasm, the meaning evolves (That Word again) from a self-contradiction or movement to the ludicrous between the beginning and the end. On the other hand, maybe it’s just not very amusing to anyone but me.

    It looked like gobbledygook

    True of everything I write.

  284. 284

    Are you talking about milk chocolate? Not all chocolate contains butterfat or dairy products.

    Damn. Now I can see how false prophets have led me astray.

    My sins are ever before me. Can they ever be forgiven? If I accept Chocolate Jesus into my heart, may I yet hope for salvation? Or, failing that, salivation?

  285. 285
    ThymeZone says:

    Get thee behind me, Satan Ovaltine!

  286. 286

    re: processing… I see no milk in dark chocolate processing, nor do I see where they add “shit”.

    Plants grow from shit. Humans don’t have to add it, God already put it there. God don’t make no junk, you know.

  287. 287
    ThymeZone says:

    If I accept Chocolate Jesus into my heart

    If I were you, I would start with accepting Him into your gall bladder.

    Baby steps, dude. Baby steps.

  288. 288

    Get thee behind me, Ovaltine!

    POTD.

  289. 289
    ThymeZone says:

    Plants grow from shit.

    That concludes Lesson One from Earl Hickey’s School of Botany, An Introduction to Photosynthesis.

  290. 290

    If I were you, I would start with accepting Him into your gall bladder.

    Baby steps, dude. Baby steps.

    The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

  291. 291
    Chad N. Freude says:

    save all non-aquatic species of life on Earth

    Except the dinosaurs that roamed the land before the flood buried their bones where atheistic fanatics could find them and construct false anti-Christian theories.

  292. 292

    That concludes Lesson One from Earl Hickey’s School of Botany, An Introduction to Photosynthesis.

    Plants grow from shit. Some of them bear tasty fruit, which birds and humans and other varmints are supposed to gobble up and digest, later shitting out the seeds. The seeds grow into other plants.

    Shit is an integral part of the process, although some plants cheat and spread their seeds around by other methods, like those fucking annoying hitchhiker thingies you get on your socks after you’ve been out walking in the woods.

  293. 293

    Except the dinosaurs that roamed the land before the flood buried their bones where atheistic fanatics could find them and construct false anti-Christian theories.

    The Lord moves in mysterious ways. He probably just wanted to sucker some of those secularists and liberals out, so that He could damn them.

  294. 294
    Rome Again says:

    Except the dinosaurs that roamed the land before the flood buried their bones where atheistic fanatics could find them and construct false anti-Christian theories.

    Well, yeah, because, otherwise, the very first chapter of Genesis would be a lie.

    Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

    re·plen·ish /rɪˈplɛnɪʃ/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-plen-ish] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
    –verb (used with object)
    1. to make full or complete again, as by supplying what is lacking, used up, etc.: to replenish one’s stock of food.
    2. to supply (a fire, stove, etc.) with fresh fuel.
    3. to fill again or anew.
    [Origin: 1300–50; ME replenisshen

  295. 295
    Rome Again says:

    Plants grow from shit. Some of them bear tasty fruit, which birds and humans and other varmints are supposed to gobble up and digest, later shitting out the seeds. The seeds grow into other plants.

    Shit is an integral part of the process, although some plants cheat and spread their seeds around by other methods, like those fucking annoying hitchhiker thingies you get on your socks after you’ve been out walking in the woods.

    Earth is the integral process, shit is only a fertilizer making the process MORE probable.

    So are you telling me that the first plant was created ONLY AFTER an animal shit in the area where it grew?

  296. 296
    ThymeZone says:

    Plants grow from shit.

    From the Creationist School of Life Origins …. Scruffy destroys the whole idea of hydroponic gardening.

  297. 297

    Earth is the integral process, shit is only a fertilizer making the process MORE probable.

    Earth and shit are one and the same. All life is Earth. Earth to Earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Shit to shit.

    So are you telling me that the first plant was created ONLY AFTER an animal shit in the area where it grew?

    Not if you believe that moonbat science crap. But if you put your trust in the Book of Genesis, the chronology’s only off by a couple days or so.

  298. 298

    From the Creationist School of Life Origins …. Scruffy destroys the whole idea of hydroponic gardening.

    Hydroponics is only for growing marijuana. That’s the Devil’s plant. That one may grow differently. I’m unfamiliar with the details of Infernal horticulture. In fact, I’m not good at much of anything, other than finding random snippets of weirdness in the Bible. But, today’s my birthday and I haven’t slept in two days, so bear with me here.

  299. 299
    Rome Again says:

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    was on April Fool’s Day? No, say it ain’t so.

  300. 300
    Rome Again says:

    Earth and shit are one and the same.

    Really? So, where did all that shit come from?

  301. 301
    Rome Again says:

    *born*

    sorry Scruffy… I should be banned from keyboards everywhere.

  302. 302

    was on April Fool’s Day? No, say it ain’t so.

    It was. Life, for me, is one cruel joke after another.

  303. 303

    Really? So, where did all that shit come from?

    Gaia’s asshole.

  304. 304
    Rome Again says:

    So Scruffy, is Gaia totally anatomically correct? (getting back on topic here – LMAO)

  305. 305
    Baby Jane says:

    So, where did all that shit come from?

    Easter Bunny

  306. 306
    Rome Again says:

    Easter Bunny

    I thought that’s where EGGS were supposed to come from. ::snickers::

  307. 307
    ThymeZone says:

    one cruel joke after another.

    We prefer the funny jokes.

  308. 308
    Chad N. Freude says:

    I thought that’s where EGGS were supposed to come from. ::snickers::

    Snickers come from Mars.

  309. 309
    Rome Again says:

    Snickers come from Mars.

    and women are from Venus.

  310. 310

    So Scruffy, is Gaia totally anatomically correct?

    The less said about volcanoes, the better.

    We prefer the funny jokes.

    Well, I’ll cancel the she-bears, then.

  311. 311
    Rome Again says:

    The less said about volcanoes, the better.

    Touche`

  312. 312

    Realtors are by far the lowest piece of shit lifeform on the planet. Think about it. They provide absolutely no value.

    Lawyers, every once in a while you need one. Used car salesman, similarly.

    Even bush administration officials are worthwhile, say if you were starving in the desert and needed firewood real bad.

    Anybody who has ever known Realtors, knows that it’s a job people get into so that they don’t have to hold a job.

    They get a 5% commission of a sale that they do nothing for. Doesn’t matter if your house is 50,000 or 5 million, they still expect 5%.

    I say the model changes. Flat rate processing fees. No more commissions, unless they’re going to come in and clean your house for you.

  313. 313
    Rome Again says:

    Even bush administration officials are worthwhile, say if you were starving in the desert and needed firewood real bad.

    ROFL

    Agreed the pay structure sucks. And if you have a good lawyer (if there are some, Real Estate Law might probably be one of the best places to find them) than FSBO would be the best way to go… but, tradition (and I am one who doesn’t really stand on tradition much) says you need those sorts of people to pull together a sale. As someone who once held a Real Estate License and went to work in the most dog eat dog towns in the US

  314. 314
    ThymeZone says:

    I have no dog in the fight over realtors, but …

    Here’s a different perspective, for what it’s worth.

  315. 315
    Rome Again says:

    premature posting ::penalty::

    Finishing my thought… as someone who went to work in one of the most dog eat dog Real Estate environments around (and it truly is/was then) I can say I don’t know many good ones, but there are a few.

  316. 316
    canuckistani says:

    Stole this line from Pharyngula:

    That’ll be Jesus chocolatebar Joseph.

    Well, it made me laugh.

  317. 317
    r€nato says:

    I just can’t believe the stupid shit some people get worked up over.

  318. 318
    Dreggas says:

    So are you telling me that the first plant was created ONLY AFTER an animal shit in the area where it grew?

    Ahhh the Origin Of the Feces…

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