Open Thread

Some helpful discussion points:

* Democrats are the party of crazy people like Ward Churchill and Cindy Sheehan.
* Nazis: sort of like Republicans but less evil.
* The Wire – possibly the dumbest waste of electrons since the Pets.com superbowl commercial.
* I invented COBOL and it eats whatever crappy language you’re using for lunch. In fact, why are you here? You should be debugging.
* You’re obviously suffering from some derangement syndrome.
* Your favorite sport sucks.
* It annoys me how easy it is for trolls and spoofs to draw people into stupid arguments.

Have at it.






75 replies
  1. 1
    Aaron says:

    A rousing session of “Gaylord Tennis” does not suck.

  2. 2
    srv says:

    – I wrote an algol-based browser, but my card reader doesn’t work anymore. Anyone have any parts?

    – The Wire. The greatest.

    – Hockey. WTF? I’m thinking of starting a WWWHL, with a large wrestling ring with ice.

    – Trolls. Funny, everyone refutes Darrell, but when a spoof actually says something pertinent, the locals group hug in their echo chamber.

    – Opera. Is it possible to make a browser where you can’t save a larger display font selection? Could developers possibly be that stupid, or did they just hide it spectacularly well?

    – Top story at Reddit: “Steve Jobs: No amount of technology in the classroom will improve public schools until principals can fire bad teachers”
    Where 550 some odd commenters debate the accountability of teachers and not a single f*ing idiot geek questions what exactly technology has to offer in the first place.

  3. 3
    sidereal says:

    “what exactly technology has to offer in the first place”

    Skynet

    “It annoys me how easy it is for trolls and spoofs to draw people into stupid arguments.”

    Since all of your other points were provocatively false, I have to assume that this one is as well, and in fact it does not annoy you at all

  4. 4
    ThymeZone says:

    Democrats are the party of crazy people like Ward Churchill and Cindy Sheehan

    .

    >> There are only two parties that matter. Are we suggesting that all the crazy people are in one of them?

    Nazis: sort of like Republicans but less evil.

    >> True.

    The Wire – possibly the dumbest waste of electrons since the Pets.com superbowl commercial.

    >> Not quite, but it has lousy ratings because people don’t like it much, as I don’t. It’s depressing. Who the fuck needs that when we have Bush? One guy (or spoof) told me with a straight face on another thread that I had two watch two seasons of the fucking show to “get it.”
    Uh …. yeah.

    I invented COBOL and it eats whatever crappy language you’re using for lunch. In fact, why are you here? You should be debugging right now.

    >> I served my time slinging code and now I have a legitimate job. Also your sentence is crappy.

    You’re obviously suffering from some derangement syndrome.

    >> Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.

    Your favorite sport sucks.

    >> It’s baseball. And sometimes it does, but sometimes they all do. What about polo? How annoying is that?

    It annoys me how easy it is for trolls and spoofs to draw people into stupid arguments.

    >> Why? That’s what annoys you? Why doesn’t Darrell annoy you? How about Phyllis Schafly?

    Have at it.

    >> Okay. Why does a blogsite that uses WordPress with its constant crashes, eaten posts and non-editable posts, and sticks commenters with the likes of Darrell for years and just snickers at the torture he causes … complain about something as innocuous as spoofers? Spoofers are good for your traffic. You can eliminate spoofers. And you can eliminate your traffic.

  5. 5
    Homer says:

    I mock your value system. You also appear foolish to the eyes of others.

    Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent.

  6. 6
    sidereal says:

    Your db sucks

  7. 7
    ThymeZone says:

    Your db sucks

    Prove it.

    Also, your job is hanging by a thread.

  8. 8
    bago says:

    Keep it locked down.

  9. 9
    jake says:

    Democrats are the party of crazy people like Ward Churchill and Cindy Sheehan.

    Nice, but I bet you’ll be annoyed when this quote appears on Freep or codeRedState.

    Nazis: sort of like Republicans but less evil with snazzier outfits.

    Although the sight of Rove & Cheney waddling around in jodphurs would be good for a guffaw.

    The Wire Television– possibly the dumbest waste of electrons time since the Pets.com superbowl commercial baseball.

    Fixed.

  10. 10
    28 Percent says:

    It is good to see that even somebody who HATES the Commander in Chief enough to say his party is worse event han NAZIS!!!! can at least admit that at least DemocRats are worse because they are the party of Cindy Sheehan and Ward Churchill. But if you were really being honest about it you would have said Micheal Moore too. If you cannot admit what you really are then you are a HYPOCRITE, the only real “sin” for liberal athiests, right?

  11. 11
    Perry Como says:

    I blame Clinton.

  12. 12
    RSA says:

    I invented COBOL and it eats whatever crappy language you’re using for lunch.

    One of my AI hacker friends recently got himself a T-shirt that says, “I made Lisp my bitch,” after having completed a very hard project. (Cue condescending pity for such geekitude.)

    The Wire – possibly the dumbest waste of electrons since the Pets.com superbowl commercial.

    I have to stick up for The Wire: I don’t know how else The Appliances would work. You think electrons should travel through The Rope or something?

    It annoys me how easy it is for trolls and spoofs to draw people into stupid arguments.

    Has anyone proposed this law before? As an online discussion on Balloon Juice grows longer, the probability of a reference to Darrell approaches one. If not, I claim it and will charge royalties.

  13. 13
    Paul Wartenberg says:

    There is no Santa Claus.

  14. 14
    Punchy says:

    Can anyone explain WTF Iran is doing? Ok…great. Ya caught a bunch of Brits out fishing without a license in your pond. So, fine them and release them.

    What in hell does Iran think it’s doing by holding on to these guys for days afterwards? Do they WANT confrontation? Is this just to show the world that, yes, they have a navy as well as a working GPS system and a pokie reserved just for Westerners?

  15. 15
    Punchy says:

    I have to stick up for The Wire: I don’t know how else The Appliances would work. You think electrons should travel through The Rope or something?

    This is just funny shit. Andrew, go jump in the back seat. RSA is now driving the Comedy Minivan.

  16. 16
    Krista says:

    Are we all that predictable, Tim? That’s really kind of sad…

  17. 17
    pharniel says:

    Near as I can tell Iran has some serious….enthusiasm issues with it’s radical guard.
    They’ve got a shitfuckton of internal problesm, are one or two bad quarters away from economic and industreal meltdown and most of the world really REALLY want’s to fuck thier shitup.
    So you’ve got a bunch of fanatical 18 year olds led by some psychotic fanatic 20 year old (he’s the responsible one) who think it’s a great idea to go grab some infidels because that’ll get national unity to gether, and, y’know, stop the proles and heathens who arn’t wishing hard enough for the economic poney to poney up and get back with the program.

    In short, I think Iran has the same problem Georgie boy does…and they might just be doing the nod *wink* thing, y’know, let’s dance because that way at least it’s finished.

  18. 18
    ThymeZone says:

    Clearly, after yesterday, we know that John McCain is the only honorable candidate for president. He’s taking an “unpopular” position on the war and enduring falling poll numbers and sagging fund-raising.

    His message to Americans that their desire to end the war is “shameful” will surely propel him to straight into the White House.

    According to the Straight Talker, as of this morning on the Today Show, “Congress has two responsibilities: One is to declare war, and the other is to fund wars.”

    So the rule is that once a war has been started (not actually “declared,” but who’s mincing words?) then Congress is duty bound to fund it as long as the president says to keep fighting the war.

    This is a day of great pride for all of us Arizonans. Our hero is standing up for what’s right … supporting the president even when 80% of the people hate his fucking guts and can’t wait for his term to be over.

  19. 19
    chopper says:

    – I wrote an algol-based browser, but my card reader doesn’t work anymore. Anyone have any parts?

    sorry, i write in ValGol.

    for As If:=1 step 1 until Q like, totally do

    begin
    like, gag me with a spoon
    A := barf me out(As If)
    B := grody to the max(A)
    fer sure

  20. 20
    demimondian says:

    Has anyone proposed this law before? As an online discussion on Balloon Juice grows longer, the probability of a reference to Darrell approaches one. If not, I claim it and will charge royalties.

    Intellectual property is intellectual theft.

  21. 21
    Paul L. says:

    # Nazis: sort of like Republicans but less evil.

    Stalinists: sort of like Democrats but less evil and controlling.

    You’re obviously suffering from some derangement syndrome.

    I do not suffer under Clinton/Kerry derangement syndrome.
    I enjoy every minute of it.

    Here is proof that liberals are knee-jerk emotional idiots who do not think through their actions. Someone tells you to “go f*ck yourself”. The correct response is to shoot the guy.

    “Why not let Senators pack heat as they roam the corridors? Then, next time Dick Cheney tells Pat Leahy to go f*ck himself, Leahy can pull out his piece and fill Cheney’s belly with lead. Even better, if Cheney tries to shoot back, he’ll probably wind up missing and taking out half the Republican caucus.”

  22. 22
    Paul L. says:

    Question:
    I heard the Democrats saying we should pull out of Iraq because it is a civil war.

    Isn’t that the same reason Bill Clinton gave for going to war in Kosovo?
    That and his lies about mass graves.

    Someone help me out with this. I predict the “STFU about Clinton” response.

  23. 23
    BIRDZILLA says:

    AL GORE. Wealthy eletist enviroemental hypotcrit MICHEAL MOORE.blabbering fool ROSIE ODONNELL,Wealthy big mouth and hypotcrit BILL CLINTON, liar HILLARY CLINTON,The witch GREENPEACE, Pirates SIERRA CLUB, Crooks PETA,Hypotcritical animal savers and killers

  24. 24
    The Other Steve says:

    Where 550 some odd commenters debate the accountability of teachers and not a single f*ing idiot geek questions what exactly technology has to offer in the first place.

    Computers have no place in schools, except for computer class.

  25. 25
    The Other Steve says:

    Isn’t that the same reason Bill Clinton gave for going to war in Kosovo?
    That and his lies about mass graves.

    As opposed to the lies about mass graves in Iraq?

  26. 26
    The Other Steve says:

    AL GORE. Wealthy eletist enviroemental hypotcrit MICHEAL MOORE.blabbering fool ROSIE ODONNELL,Wealthy big mouth and hypotcrit BILL CLINTON, liar HILLARY CLINTON,The witch GREENPEACE, Pirates SIERRA CLUB, Crooks PETA,Hypotcritical animal savers and killers

    Most PETA members are also pro-life Republicans.

    Thanks for commenting Birdzilla. We will add this to the puzzle, to try to decipher the davinci code.

  27. 27
    ThymeZone says:

    what exactly technology has to offer in the first place

    That’s easy: Jobs.

  28. 28
    mrmobi says:

    God (though I don’t believe in you) Bless BIRDZILLA.

    One question Bird, do you type with your feet?

  29. 29
    ThymeZone says:

    One question Bird, do you type with your feet?

    I’m guessing “hunt and peck.”

  30. 30
    AkaDad says:

    BIRDZILLA nails it.

    The “hypocrisy” of the left is so much worse than torture, bribery, war profiteering, illegally spying on Americans, and other assorted felonies of the right.

  31. 31
    Pb says:

    Can anyone explain WTF Iran is doing?

    Trying to find out WTF British soldiers were doing? And really, wouldn’t we do the same if, say, 15 suspicious foreigners working for a foreign power infiltrated our country?

  32. 32
    Andrew says:

    This is Caprica!

  33. 33
    machine says:

    I invented COBOL and it eats whatever crappy language you’re using for lunch.

    Pfft. Soon a resurrected, zombie John Backus will write a subroutine of holy fire to smite down such heresy. Then he’ll write an award-winning screenplay about it called “Pulp Function”.

  34. 34
    grumpy realist says:

    The thought that we are seeing Take Two of the Japanese Manchuko incident doesn’t comfort me at all, somehow.

  35. 35
    Andrew says:

    Then he’ll write an award-winning screenplay about it called “Pulp Function”.

    Pun is dead.

  36. 36
    Pb says:

    Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
    a tale of a tired schtick.
    That started on this tiny blog,
    from a spoofy dick…

  37. 37
    Moll Slanders says:

    My favorite sport does NOT suck, it blows!

  38. 38
    Third Eye Open says:

    Paul,

    Look here buck-o, you aren’t allowed to whine about a campaign, which first and foremost was led by NATO, not the US specifically, secondly, how do you rationalize the fact that the right was belly-achin’ all over their own shoes about how our trampsing across the globe blowing people up wasn’t helping to stop the problem, loss of prestige, waste of our time, yada-yada-yada…

    You got a line on all those WMDs getting sent to Syria, yet?

  39. 39
    Third Eye Open says:

    sorry for feeding the trolls, im trying to quit smoking, and I ran out of Jergens last night

  40. 40
    AkaDad says:

    1. I’m down with a Sheehan/Churchill ’08 ticket
    2. Evil is as evil does
    3. I choose the wire over the wireless
    4. Is COBOL like French?
    5. True. I’ve been told my BDS may mutate into GDS
    6. Only if you consider pocket pool a sport
    7. I don’t consider you a spoof at all

  41. 41
    demimondian says:

    I heard the Democrats saying we should pull out of Iraq because it is a civil war.

    Isn’t that the same reason Bill Clinton gave for going to war in Kosovo?
    That and his lies about mass graves.

    Someone help me out with this.

    Gosh, Paul, are you already back from investigating the missing bodies in Qana? As well as the flawed estimates of Iraqi mortality. Oh, and the evidence for planipotentiary capability of adult stem cells.

    Man, you’re fast.

  42. 42
  43. 43
    ThymeZone says:

    That last should have read plenipotentiary cpability of adult stem cells.

    They’re like little ambassadors of life.

  44. 44
    Pb says:

    Paul L.,

    I heard the Democrats saying we should pull out of Iraq because it is a civil war.

    Yes.

    Isn’t that the same reason Bill Clinton gave for going to war in Kosovo?

    No.

    That and his lies about mass graves.

    You mean these mass graves, or the hundreds of thousands of bodies that weren’t found killed by Saddam (no doubt shipped to Syria along with all the WMDs, the nuclear program, and the Tooth Fairy) but have now been killed thanks to our intervention?

    I predict the “STFU about Clinton” response.

    P.S. STFU about Clinton already. Hundreds of billions of dollars wasted, hundreds of thousands of people killed, and all you can do is blather on and on about the horrible things that Clinton didn’t do? You’re deranged. Seriously. Seek help.

  45. 45
    Sstarr says:

    Isn’t that the same reason Bill Clinton gave for going to war in Kosovo?

    You know, Bill Clinton did a much better job in managing the war in Kosovo than George Bush & Co. did managing the war in Iraq. Just goes to show that a competent administration with qualified personnel who create realistic plans can do, as opposed to the current Republican moron squad. Thanks for bringing up the comparison!

  46. 46
    Punchy says:

    plenipotentiary cpability of adult stem cells

    Is this related to the totipotency of fetal embryonic diploidal nonvascular epithelial eucaryotic constructs? Or am I just smoking crack again? Prolly the crack.

    In other news…the WH has responded to all the malfeasance demonstrated on the WH emails by…wait for it….no, not stopping the malfeasance….just using a new, private system of Blackberrys and text messages instead of legally-required WH email. Yeah. Yep. Sure.

  47. 47
    demimondian says:

    Prolly the crack

    Definitely the crack, Punchy. Definitely.

  48. 48
    demimondian says:

    …just using a new, private system of Blackberrys and text messages instead of legally-required WH email.

    Daddy, can we impeach them yet?

  49. 49
    Perry Como says:

    You know, Bill Clinton did a much better job in managing the war in Kosovo than George Bush & Co. did managing the war in Iraq.

    I’m curious if this means that Paul L. supported the Kosovo intervention.

  50. 50
    Jake says:

    “Congress has two responsibilities: One is to declare war, and the other is to fund wars.”

    Clearly John “Rocket Man” McCainiac is playing “Dude, WTF RU Smoking?”

  51. 51
    Perry Como says:

    In other news…the WH has responded to all the malfeasance demonstrated on the WH emails by…wait for it….no, not stopping the malfeasance….just using a new, private system of Blackberrys and text messages instead of legally-required WH email. Yeah. Yep. Sure.

    Good luck hiding those communications behind “executive privilege.”

  52. 52
    Moll Slanders says:

    Clearly John “Rocket Man” McCainiac is playing “Dude, WTF RU Smoking?”

    Is that anything like Pig Mania?

  53. 53
    The Other Steve says:

    Aren’t blackberry messages subject to wire tap without a warrant?

  54. 54
    Pooh says:

    The Wire – possibly the dumbest waste of electrons since the Pets.com superbowl commercial.

    I just died a little inside. Why do you hate the children, Tim?

  55. 55
    ThymeZone says:

    I just died a little inside

    You mean, indoors?

    Oh, you mean, inside yourself?

    As opposed to, you know, dying outside yourself.

  56. 56
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    I mock your value system. You also appear foolish to the eyes of others.

    Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent.

    I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other.

    Now that’s psychiatry!

  57. 57
    ThymeZone says:

    I engaged in intercourse with your spouse

    The question is, does she know about it?

  58. 58
    chopper says:

    I heard the Democrats saying we should pull out of Iraq because it is a civil war.

    you heard wrong. the dems don’t want to pull out merely because it’s a civil war. it’s because we’re in the middle of said civil war and are powerless to stop it, with thousands of americans dead, more dying every day and hundreds of billions of dollars down the tubes.

    isn’t that the same reason Bill Clinton gave for going to war in Kosovo?

    yes, but clinton’s administration actually knew what they were doing. the dems were behind bush’s war, just as they were behind clinton’s. the difference is, the dems finally recognized that bush just can’t successfully deal with someone else’s civil war in the manner that clinton did, and figure we should get out.

  59. 59
    mrmobi says:

    RIP Fred Thompson, from “US NEWS & WORLD REPORT”

    Focus on the Family founder James Dobson appeared to throw cold water on a possible presidential bid by former Sen. Fred Thompson while praising former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who is also weighing a presidential run, in a phone interview Tuesday.

    “Everyone knows he’s conservative and has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for,” Dobson said of Thompson. “[But] I don’t think he’s a Christian; at least that’s my impression,” Dobson added, saying that such an impression would make it difficult for Thompson to connect with the Republican Party’s conservative Christian base and win the GOP nomination.

    Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Thompson, took issue with Dobson’s characterization of the former Tennessee senator. “Thompson is indeed a Christian,” he said. “He was baptized into the Church of Christ.”

    In a follow-up phone conversation, Focus on the Family spokesman Gary Schneeberger stood by Dobson’s claim. He said that, while Dobson didn’t believe Thompson to be a member of a non-Christian faith, Dobson nevertheless “has never known Thompson to be a committed Christian—someone who talks openly about his faith.”

    “We use that word—Christian—to refer to people who are evangelical Christians,” Schneeberger added.

    Newt “Honey, you may be dying, but we’re through,” Gingrich is the better “Christian,” eh?

    I’m so happy about this, because it opens up the field to… adulterers who have divorced their sick spouses, (“She doesn’t look like a Presidents’ wife, and she’s sick.”) and tried to deny them healthcare coverage… you know, Christians.

    That reference to the Church of Christ better not be to the United Church of Christ, or Fred Thompson is really toast. They are very extreme, allowing the gays to attend church, don’t you know? They had that terrible ad during the 2004 election which said, “all are welcome.” Shameful!

    We know now that every Republican candidate for President from this point on must be not only Christian (admittedly, a low standard, if Newt is the example) but evangelical. You guys are so done. Enjoy your time in the wilderness! Come back when you figure out that the universe is more than 10,000 years old. Or don’t.

    Personally, I’m very pleased that the hypocrite Dobson likes Newt, since he is the only “pre-disastered” candidate who has not yet formally announced.

    Go Newt!

  60. 60

    What about this “Operation Bite”? Should I be spending the rest of Lent digging out for a fallout shelter?

  61. 61
    Face says:

    I heard the Democrats saying we should pull out of Iraq

    I say a better idea is to give Iraq the pill instead. I’m so against pulling out.

  62. 62
    Chad N. Freude says:

    Very amusing discussion. I’m surprised nobody recognized that Birdzilla’s message was actually an NSA-certified encryption. Unfortunately, I don’t have the clearance level needed to decrypt it. If I did, I would, of course, leak it to Robert Novak.

    Regarding Dr. Dobson’s filtering presidential candidates for us, I say thank the Deity who gives him his instructions. If we didn’t have Dobson doing this, think of the consequences — anybody could run for president.

  63. 63
    mrmobi says:

    Operation Bite is the best example of Bush Administration competence I’ve seen yet. What better way to have a secret military operation than to leak the specifics. It’s brilliant!

    Glad to hear they are going to use nukes. Like “two-in-the-brainpan” Lambchop, I’m all in. If you’re going to start WWIII, don’t go halfway.

    Soon we will cleanse the globe of demislamunofascists.

  64. 64
    Krista says:

    Dobson nevertheless “has never known Thompson to be a committed Christian—someone who talks openly about his faith.”

    Funny. I’m not a Christian and all, but isn’t being a committed Christian more about living your life according to Christ’s teachings, rather than inserting religious speeches into everything from a job application to a meatloaf recipe?

    Or maybe I’ve just been wrong all these years. Maybe being a TRUE Christian means that you can be forty different kinds of asshole, but you pay your faith EXCELLENT lip service.

  65. 65
    demimondian says:

    Speaking of clearing the globe of demislaminofascists, I went to Google for directions today…I don’t think I’d really want to follow these.

  66. 66
    mrmobi says:

    “Swim across the Atlantic Ocean
    Good directions! Definitely a “glass half-full” kind of map.

  67. 67
    Pb says:

    Demi,

    That is hilarious. It seems that’s the only place on the east coast where they’d expect you to swim across, but… still awesome, as these gags go. Did you see this old Microsoft map bug? Apparently they mistook ferry routes for instantaneous teleportation devices…

  68. 68
    Moll Slanders says:

    Regarding Dr. Dobson’s filtering presidential candidates for us, I say thank the Deity who gives him his instructions. If we didn’t have Dobson doing this, think of the consequences—anybody could run for president.

    Yes, just this once, let us praise Lucifer!

  69. 69
    mrmobi says:

    Maybe being a TRUE Christian means that you can be forty different kinds of asshole, but you pay your faith EXCELLENT lip service.

    Yes Krista, there are all kinds of “Christians.”
    There are the next-door-neighbor “Christians,” of my teen years, circa 1963, who were joyous that JFK had been “executed,” for his crimes. My family attended church with these people, and, before November 22, 1963, we really didn’t have any idea who they were. Apparently, JFK was a “communist.”

    Of course, we will always have these kind of throwbacks in society. They serve as a kind of low mark against which we can measure our own behavior.

    So we should rejoice for “Two-in-the-brainpan” Lambchop, Paul L, and Richard23, etc., as they serve the helpful purpose of defining that level to which we will not sink.

    God (wherever she is) Bless Them. Of course, coming from this lapsed Catholic, that is probably a curse, but that’s ok, too.

  70. 70
    Richard 23 says:

    Mysterious hexagon spotted above Saturn. Weird. I wonder if it’s anything like our Pentagon. We’d better nuke them from orbit just to be safe.

  71. 71
    Jake says:

    Anyone familiar with John Varley’s Titan series? [/geek]

  72. 72
    Ryan S. says:

    I invented COBOL and it eats whatever crappy language you’re using for lunch. In fact, why are you here? You should be debugging.

    You kidding…. right?! *sob* My CoBOL nightmares Still keep me up at night.

    01 IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.
    02 PROGRAM-ID. OOOOOOHHHH GAWWWWDDD.

    Why periods Tim… why?

  73. 73
    CalD says:

    mrmobi: I believe your neighbors may have been missing a subtle point. As my dad, the John Bircher, explained it to me at the time, JFK wasn’t a communist as such, merely a communist dupe. Sure, he may have been single-handedly bringing about the downfall of western civilization, but he wasn’t doing it intentionally.

  74. 74
    Paul L. says:

    Gosh, Paul, are you already back from investigating the missing bodies in Qana?

    The bodies are not missing.
    They are in the same place as the Bodies that were piled in Freezer at Superdome.
    They never existed.

  75. 75
    Birdzilla says:

    Liberal demacrats more taxes more rediculous regulations more stupid ruling by idiot judges proving liberals are so stupid a ant is more intellegent

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