Great Moments in Celebrity Blogging

I wish I had written this:

Madonna getting upset with her daughter for dressing too slutty is like Mr. T getting upset with his son for pitying too many fools. I think there was a period in Madonna’s life where all she wore was spaghetti pasta and condoms.

I give that two thumbs up.

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78 replies
  1. 1
    Mr Furious says:

    That site is hysterical, I check it fairly often. I find it fascinating/surprising it’s on your reading list John.

  2. 2
    demimondian says:

    Yeah, thesuperficial is on my list, too. FWIW, I disagree with the author — a lot of parents want their kids to not make the same mistakes they made; that’s not hypocrisy, but humility.

  3. 3
    John Cole says:

    I find it fascinating/surprising it’s on your reading list John.

    I can honestly say that it surprises me that at this point, there is anything I can say or do that surprises anyone here.

  4. 4
    Richard 23 says:

    I think there was a period in Madonna’s life where all she wore was spaghetti pasta and condoms.

    Links, please.

  5. 5
    jg says:

    John Cole Says:

    I find it fascinating/surprising it’s on your reading list John.

    I can honestly say that it surprises me that at this point, there is anything I can say or do that surprises anyone here.

    Wow. I sure didn’t se that answer coming. You’re just full of surprises.

  6. 6
    Mr Furious says:

    I’m always surprised when John chimes in on his own threads…

    ;-)

  7. 7
    Rome Again says:

    a lot of parents want their kids to not make the same mistakes they made; that’s not hypocrisy, but humility.

    I agree demi.

  8. 8
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    humility

    This word used in connection with Madonna is a complete non-sequitur.

  9. 9
    Andrew says:

    a lot of parents want their kids to not make the same mistakes they made; that’s not hypocrisy, but humility.

    Except that this is Madonna we’re talking about, and she’s actually building a multi-ethnic pseudo-British/Catholic precursor gene pool for the Bene Gesserit.

  10. 10
    norbizness says:

    Is like Glenn “Can I Trust You, Congressman?” Beck questioning the McCarthyite tactics of Keith Olbermann.

  11. 11
    Rome Again says:

    Except that this is Madonna we’re talking about, and she’s actually building a multi-ethnic pseudo-British/Catholic precursor gene pool for the Bene Gesserit.

    OH yeah, except that, carry on.

  12. 12
    Krista says:

    a lot of parents want their kids to not make the same mistakes they made; that’s not hypocrisy, but humility.

    Bit of a difference, too. Madonna was a grown woman when she was walking around with her junk hanging out. Lourdes is what…ten?

    I know the Superficial is being tongue-in-cheek, but using their logic, I’d be a hypocrite for not letting my (theoretical) child have a nice cold beer after school, because I often have one after work.

    I am now wondering, however, if Mr. T has a kid, and if so, if he’s pitied any fools.

  13. 13
    Andrew says:

    I can’t believe that people are discussing anything written on the Superficial in a serious manner.

    You have to back in time as far as yesterday to find gems such as:

    Jennifer Love Hewitt showed up to The Envelope Please Oscar Viewing Party looking like her boobs traveled back in time to when they were spectacular. My God, they’re mesmerizing. Godzilla could be fighting Chuck Norris in the background and I wouldn’t notice. I don’t even know what Jennifer Love Hewitt has done recently, but if I was presenting an Academy Award and she showed up like this I’d just start drooling and hand it over to her. The category wouldn’t even matter. Best Sound Editing? Yeah, sure, whatever, just stay out of the way of my imaginary air-squeezing.

  14. 14
    Krista says:

    We discuss everything seriously. Any opportunity to spout off about our viewpoints and opinions, we’re ALL over it. :)

  15. 15
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    I am now wondering, however, if Mr. T has a kid, and if so, if he’s pitied any fools

    Well, I imagine that he starts off granting amnesty to oafs and works up from there.

  16. 16
    norbizness says:

    “Mr. T. Releases Pity List ’85”

  17. 17
    Marcus Wellby says:

    Since the topic is celebrity blogging, I have a question — has Helen Mirren recently spoken out against Bush? I only ask because today is the 2nd day she is featured in less than flattering links on Drudge, and I just wonder who on the right she pissed off.

  18. 18
    Rome Again says:

    Jennifer Love Hewitt showed up to The Envelope Please Oscar Viewing Party looking like her boobs traveled back in time to when they were spectacular. My God, they’re mesmerizing. Godzilla could be fighting Chuck Norris in the background and I wouldn’t notice. I don’t even know what Jennifer Love Hewitt has done recently, but if I was presenting an Academy Award and she showed up like this I’d just start drooling and hand it over to her. The category wouldn’t even matter. Best Sound Editing? Yeah, sure, whatever, just stay out of the way of my imaginary air-squeezing.

    What sexist pig wrote that?

  19. 19
    Rome Again says:

    Since the topic is celebrity blogging, I have a question—has Helen Mirren recently spoken out against Bush? I only ask because today is the 2nd day she is featured in less than flattering links on Drudge, and I just wonder who on the right she pissed off.

    They need a reason? Isn’t just the fact that it’s “Hollyweird: the Jews take over the media” enough?

  20. 20
    David says:

    What sexist pig wrote that?

    Someone who calls himself “The Superficial.” It’s not like you weren’t warned.

  21. 21
    Andrew says:

    What sexist pig wrote that?

    An awesome one?

  22. 22
    Rome Again says:

    Someone who calls himself “The Superficial.” It’s not like you weren’t warned.

    I didn’t realize that clicking a link meant I was supposed to ingratiate myself with their last several days worth of entries, sorry.

  23. 23
    David says:

    Ingratiate yourself with several days of entries? I’m just talking about the title of the blog.

  24. 24
    Andrew says:

    It’s not like you need more than any single entry:

    Welcome to Boner City. Population: Me.

    A few more shots of Tori Spelling looking mighty tasty after the jump.

    Continue Reading “Tori Spelling still super huge and pregnant”

  25. 25
    Rome Again says:

    Ingratiate yourself with several days of entries? I’m just talking about the title of the blog.

    I didn’t follow the previous links on the site, was I supposed to?

  26. 26
    Andrew says:

    Or:

    Pink was spotted at Miami beach in her bikini last week. At least I think it’s Pink. I suspect the photographer may have gotten his photos of Pink mixed up with his photos of, well, a dude. Isn’t there some unwritten rule against wearing a bikini if you look like this? She (he?) looks like she’s three-quarters done with a sex-change operation, only I can’t tell which gender she’s switching from. I’m just glad she’s wearing pants and not a bikini bottom, because by now her vagina probably looks like some sort of claw.

  27. 27
    ThymeZone says:

    Who is Madonna?

  28. 28
    Rome Again says:

    It was the particular story of Jennifer Love Hewitt that I was wondering about, okay, so I totally missed the point and The Superficial is a completely sexist pig (I am female and a bit of a pushover when it comes to giving people the benefit of the doubt. I see the point now, perhaps it is just my own problem wanting to think there’s good in us all (cue The Diary of Anne Frank).

  29. 29
    Rome Again says:

    Who is Madonna?

    I could kiss you for that!

  30. 30
    Andrew says:

    The Superficial is a completely sexist pig

    You are completely misunderestimating him.

    E.g.:

    So here’s to hoping Nicole Richie gets convicted. If prison is anything like my DVD collection has taught me, she’ll have the time of her life in there. You wouldn’t believe what those security guards do with their nightsticks during shower time. Oh, no, you would not believe. It is wonderful and arousing to say the least.

  31. 31
    Zifnab says:

    J. Love’s boobs were freaking amazing. Even you’ve got to admit that, Rome.

  32. 32
    Steve says:

    This guy finds Tori Spelling attractive? Not even Dick Cheney has judgment that bad.

  33. 33
    Andrew says:

    This guy finds Tori Spelling attractive? Not even Dick Cheney has judgment that bad.

    If missed sarcasm were a bio-fuel, we could now stop importing oil from the middle east.

  34. 34
    Rome Again says:

    J. Love’s boobs were freaking amazing. Even you’ve got to admit that, Rome.

    Zif, I’m female, I don’t spend a lot of time looking at celebrity women.

  35. 35
    Zifnab says:

    Zif, I’m female, I don’t spend a lot of time looking at celebrity women.

    Then you’re totally missing out.

  36. 36
    Rome Again says:

    Zif, I’m female, I don’t spend a lot of time looking at celebrity women.

    Whoops, realized I missed a word there… I’m a “real” female…

    I can’t get all worked up over the fakeness of celebrity.

  37. 37
    Bucky says:

    Show me the person that isn’t a hypocrite with their own child, and I’ll show you an honest man

  38. 38
    Pb says:

    The Superficial: sexist pig, or fair and balanced? Let’s go to the videotape! Pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt at the event in question. Yeah, I think she looks pretty good. Now it’s Rome Again’s turn, though:

    I can’t get all worked up over the fakeness of celebrity.

    Oh, that hurts. J-Love, what do you have to say for yourself:

    “I feel like there’s still a world full of people out there who think there’s not much more to me than the girl who can wear tiny tops. So if I had actually gone and done those things (shedding the tiny top) to try to prove something, where would I be?” People magazine quoted her as saying.
    ***
    She told CNN: “I get lots of those offers (to take off my clothes). But I can’t. It’s just not me. She says she loves being goofy and silly, but she just wishes that the audience will not just brand her as a ‘movie eye candy’.

    Now how fake is that–a celebrity who doesn’t want to take her clothes off for money? Unpossible!

  39. 39
    Paul L. says:

    Not even Dick Cheney has judgment that bad.

    Yep,
    Remember when he hired that foul-mouthed feminist blogger who believes that the Duke Lacrosse players are guilty of rape despite the evidence, posted that opinion on her blog and deleted that post when it came to the attention of his opponents to run his blog.

    Or his comment “You know education, if you make the most of it, and you study hard, and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

  40. 40
    Rome Again says:

    Now how fake is that—a celebrity who doesn’t want to take her clothes off for money? Unpossible!

    She still makes a living acting like someone she isn’t, that’s still fake in my eyes.

  41. 41
    Richard 23 says:

    Give it up, Paul L.

  42. 42
    Pb says:

    She still makes a living acting like someone she isn’t

    You mean… she’s an actress? Yeah, that’s totally fake, like being a satirist or a fiction writer or something. We’d all be so much better off if we just stuck to non-fiction documentaries–keeping it real, as it were.

  43. 43
    Andrew says:

    She still makes a living acting like someone she isn’t, that’s still fake in my eyes.

    Two nits to pick:
    1) She can act?
    2) She still makes a living?

  44. 44
    Rome Again says:

    Well, forgive me if I see more value in real people who make a real living wage for performing real necessary jobs.

  45. 45
    Rome Again says:

    By the way, that bustline does nothing for me, it’s looks saline-filled.

  46. 46
    Zifnab says:

    Remember when he hired that foul-mouthed feminist blogger who believes that the Duke Lacrosse players are guilty of rape despite the evidence, posted that opinion on her blog and deleted that post when it came to the attention of his opponents to run his blog. shot John F. Kennedy? Oh wait, that was Lee Harvey Oswald! STUPID LIBRULS!

    Fixed.

  47. 47
    Andrew says:

    Well, forgive me if I see more value in real people who make a real living wage for performing real necessary jobs.

    Like strippers?

  48. 48
    Stacy says:

    Some people consider the 1930s the Golden Age of Hollywood. It was not coincidental that the Great Depression was also going on. People loved to spend a nickel or a dime or whatever to go to the movies for a couple of hours to see people pretending to be things they weren’t. It’s called “entertainment” and many people find value in it.

    Have we taken entertainment and made it into a cult of celebrity? Yes. Does that make the original idea of entertainment have any less value? I don’t think so.

  49. 49
    Rome Again says:

    Like strippers?

    Is it necessary? Probably not except to a dirty old man who can’t get it up at home and needs a little help, but there IS that…

    It also puts food on the table for the stripper’s kids (and yes, many strippers DO have kids).

    So, my answer is YES!

  50. 50
    Krista says:

    J. Love’s boobs were freaking amazing. Even you’ve got to admit that, Rome.

    Meh. Her boobs are okay, but her acting is sub-par and she’s got a face that could grate cheese.

    Rome Again: Why so harsh on actors? No, the entertainment industry isn’t “necessary”, but were it to screech to a halt, a hell of a lot of people would be out of a job. Yes, some actors seem like they’re just in it for the publicity and the free swag bag at events. But then you have other actors who really seem to take pride in what they do, and work damn hard to help bring to life a story that occasionally, helps to change the way that we look at the world.

  51. 51
    Rome Again says:

    Yes, some actors seem like they’re just in it for the publicity and the free swag bag at events. But then you have other actors who really seem to take pride in what they do, and work damn hard to help bring to life a story that occasionally, helps to change the way that we look at the world.

    My love of actors is drawn to those who try to put on a great performance… Jennifer Love Hewitt just isn’t one of them AFAIC.

    I’m more the Helena Bonham Carter type, I guess.

  52. 52
    Zifnab says:

    Helena Bonham Carter?

    Ok, I’ll admit she’s got nice boobs too.

  53. 53
    Rome Again says:

    Hmmm Zif, I click on that link and all I see is “Photobucket bandwidth exceeded”

    I will admit that she did that nude scene in “The Wings of the Dove” which she was nominated for an academy award, but, I liker her corset stuff mostly, and her versatility into Fight Club and Merlin were magical after so many corset appearances.

    Another actress who I admire for this kind of crossover thing is Kate Beckinsale who played the lovely fair maiden Hero in Much Ado About Nothing.

  54. 54
    Tsulagi says:

    Meh. Her boobs are okay, but her acting is sub-par and she’s got a face that could grate cheese.

    She acts? And she has a face?

  55. 55

    We all know Madonna is getting old when she hears music her daughter listens to and says “I don’t understand the crap these kids are listening to!”

  56. 56
    Rome Again says:

    and of course, Helena Bonham Carter’s Ophelia is just breathtaking.

  57. 57
    Rome Again says:

    http://www.geocities.com/queeniemab/hamz3.JPG

    Helena Bonham Carter’s Ophelia, now THAT is true acting.

    A review

  58. 58
    jg says:

    She will always be Marla to me.

  59. 59
    Rome Again says:

    She will always be Marla to me.

    Boy, are you missing out.

  60. 60
    jg says:

    Missing out on what?

  61. 61
    Zifnab says:

    Helena Bonham Carter’s Ophelia, now THAT is true acting.

    Ok, that’s just sick Rome. She’s, like, what? 10? Yesh.

  62. 62
    Rome Again says:

    NO, she is NOT 10, she is a young and vibrant woman. She is old enough to have been betrothed.

  63. 63
    Rome Again says:

    Lucy Honeychurch in A Room with a View
    Lady Jane Grey in Lady Jane
    Ophelia in Hamlet
    Caroline Abbott in Where Angels Fear to Tread
    Helen Schlegel in Howard’s End
    Elizabeth in Frankenstein
    Amanda in Mighty Aphrodite
    Olivia in Twelfth Night
    Kate Croy in The Wings of the Dove (with nude sex scene)
    Rosemary in Keep the Aspidistra Flying (aka A Merry War)
    Morgan Le Fey in Merlin
    Jane Hatchard in The Theory of Flight

    that’s most of her most famous work before playing Marla. She’s done a lot since including Ari in Planet of the Apes. She’s currently working on a production of Sweeney Todd…

    Yes, you missed a LOT.

  64. 64
    jg says:

    I said she’ll always be Marla to me and you went all HBC fanboy on me and acted like I said she’s only been in one film. Relax chica. Marla was my favorite character of hers because Fight Club is one of my favorite movies, that’s all. I wasn’t trying to impune her career or anything. I doubt any other actress could have said ‘Slide’ quite as sexy as she did.
    Same with Audrey Hepburn. She will always be Holly Golightly to me even though I liked her better in Roman Holiday and she has a body of work that stretches decades. What can you do.

  65. 65
    Rome Again says:

    I’m just saying there is a whole history there before her brash characterization of Marla. Yes, Marla was a great performance too, not saying it wasn’t.

    If someone says “missing out on what?” I answer them. Don’t get all craggy when I actually come up with an answer.

  66. 66
    jg says:

    If someone says “missing out on what?” I answer them. Don’t get all craggy when I actually come up with an answer.

    What is it that you got out of the words, ‘she’ll always be Marla to me’, that made you think I didn’t appreciate anything else she’s done? What lead you to believe I was missing out on something? Because I didn’t choose her performance in Hamlet? Or her work in her other husbands movies?

  67. 67
    Rome Again says:

    What is it that you got out of the words, ‘she’ll always be Marla to me’, that made you think I didn’t appreciate anything else she’s done? What lead you to believe I was missing out on something? Because I didn’t choose her performance in Hamlet? Or her work in her other husbands movies?

    Righty-o and whose wife was she when she did A Room with a View or Howard’s End?

    No, it was the non-recognition of anything older than about the year 2000 when she’s been acting in great movies for a good 15-20 years before that.

  68. 68
    Rome Again says:

    What I got out of the phrase “she’ll always be Marla to me” is the idea that you don’t even want to investigate any great acting she did years before that.

    She’ll always be a whole slew of great characters to me, I don’t shut out any opportunity to see her. I loved her in Lady Jane (as young as she was) but I loved her in so many things she’s done through the years that I can’t peg just one wacharacter on her. She is one of those actresses that does so much more than just one character. That WAS my original point. She’s a crossover actress.

  69. 69
    demimondian says:

    Jeebus, folks, what do you expect form a site called “thesuperficial”? Deep thought? You might aw well expect serious good government advice from a site called “balloon juice”, for heaven’s sake!

  70. 70
    Anderson says:

    The Superficial is great. The one about Ashley Olsen, clown prostitute, convulsed me with not-so-guilty laughter.

    Assholery for its own sake — it’s purely aesthetic.

  71. 71
    Jon H says:

    Richard 23 writes:
    “Links, please.”

    Come on, wearing sausage links would be a step too far, even for Madonna.

  72. 72
    Jon H says:

    The silly conservatives who hyperventilated about Paris, Lohan, and Britney going commando and flashing the paparazzi, worried that America’s yout would emulate that behavior clearly don’t read the Superficial and its comment threads.

  73. 73
    Andrew says:

    What I got out of the phrase “she’ll always be Marla to me” is the idea that you don’t even want to investigate any great acting she did years before that.

    I think it means that he kills puppies.

  74. 74
    demimondian says:

    I think it means that he kills puppies.

    I think it means that his taste in actresses kills puppies.

    Of course, what do I know — I think Kate Beckinsale’s performance as Hero is eminently forgettable. Mind you, it’s arguable that forgettability is the greatest height to which an actress can aspire in that role, but still…Hero? C’mon, RA. Beckinsale was totally out-shone by Emma Thompson’s Beatrice in that film.

    Frankly, I always thought that the Merchant-Ivory films were overrated. Lots of Anglophiliac Shakespeareana, which gets the high-brow commentators all hot and bothered, but, really, not very interesting performances.

  75. 75
    Punchy says:

    If you wanna read some certifiably GENIUS comedy writing (not to mention, some odd pics), you need to see this site

    Not so much a blog as some guy writing the world’s funniest pic captions/explanations.

  76. 76
    Randolph Fritz says:

    I get the feeling that Madonna is worrying more about clothes Lourdes can’t dance in…

  77. 77
    Buck says:

    Thanks Punchy. Just added that one to my favorites.

  78. 78
    jg says:

    Rome Again Says:

    What I got out of the phrase “she’ll always be Marla to me” is the idea that you don’t even want to investigate any great acting she did years before that.

    Why would you get that idea? I can see no reason for you to make that assumption.

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