Right on cue, Trent Lott slips in the shiv.
Events are cascading into a perfect storm for the embattled president. When [Update: yes, if. They could really be that incompetent] Dems take the House/Senate and start delivering the cascading waves of subpoena-backed investigation they may face surprisingly little resistance from the once and future Minority Leader.
Steve
I’m confused. Lott says he was briefed on the program, that it’s legitimate and legal, and that it uses modern technological tools to defeat terrorists. In what sense do you see this as undermining the administration?
Davebo
Steve,
He’s the first politician I’ve seen so far to confirm that the program exists.
Tim F.
He is confirming the details as reported, which is helpful for people arguing for investigations. You could argue that Lott’s support of the program negates the downside of confirming its details to the press but I doubt it. As always I could be wrong, but I don’t think that a high-profile confirmation helps the White House here.
Mike in SLO
Cafferty was right on today: “A secret government agency has told our Justice Department that it’s not allowed to investigate it. And the Justice Department just says ok and drops the whole thing.”
Heaven help us all.
Grotesqueticle
When Dems take the House/Senate
When is that going to happen?
Perry Como
Can baby eating be far behind?
btw, I’d like to thank everyone that voted for Republicans in 2004. Heckuva job guys.
ppGaz
Special thanks go to those who voted more than once.
Otto Man
I just saw Pat Roberts on CNN, and he assured Lou Dobbs that the program is only being used against terrorists. Tens of millions of terrorists.
If that guy carried any more water for the administration, he’d have to wear a Culligan uniform.
demimondian
[speaking of the Dems retaking the Congress.]
Don’t worry about it — the President will decide that voters means “voters for Republicans”, and the problem will go away. After all, 9/11 changed everything.
Pooh
Yeah – it’s a neat little dagger in the back. “What, I was supposed to just deny, deny, deny? Sorry, I’m no longer on Karl’s fax list, so I missed that memo.”
HehIndeedReadtheWholeThing.
Jon Cline
Lott’s the first one.
The others lost.
Andrew
We’re at war, Osama lover.
Pooh
Fixed.
Jesse
Mental Note: Don’t fuck with Trent Lott. He’ll eventually get his revenge, even if it’s through a thousand tiny cuts.
Brian
Tim, can I have some of whatever you’re smokin’?
John S.
You’ve already smoked it, Brian.
That and huffed an entire warehose full of Krylon. It’s the only explanation for you other than being a spoof.
KC
Tim,
I hope you’re right, but I’ve got four words for yuh: par for the course. I expect this to be forgotten in a few weeks after the media starts spinning itself into knots about whether the program is illegal, legal, or just a fun little thing to do. Unless Dems stand up united and demand some real answers, we’ll be watching reruns of Lieberman Love Boat all over again.
Steve
I don’t think legal or illegal matters much. Either people will be fine with the government having all their phone records or they won’t. If they aren’t – and if I know Americans, they aren’t – they’ll want it to stop, legal or not.
I suppose Bush might be able to make the case that we need to keep tabs on these tens of millions of people to fight the war on terrah, but the thing is, Bush isn’t very good at making cases.
The current version of the GOP is going to lose the libertarian vote for decades hence.
JoeTx
Speaking of a disk served cold. Anybody given any thought to who might have leaked all this information THIS week? Could it possibly be the outgoing CIA chief who was forced to resign LAST week?
This very well could have been Porters parting FU to Bush and Negroponti!
Pooh
If I may whore for a moment, is this related to Net Neutrality?
Sherard
Bring it you morons. There’s nothing that will do more to ensure the Republicans win BIG in 2008 than investigations and the inevitable descent into lunatic impeachment hearings.
You guys just keep on thinking that’s a winning strategy. I can’t wait to be pointing and laughing at your stupidity.
Ben
And Arlen Specter remains one of the only respectable Republicans in the government…
ppGaz
Well, I just heard that my phone provider gave up no information to the feds.
Which means my calls to Ali Baba and the Thirty-Eight Thieves are unmonitored.
Oh, two of the thieves paired up in a gay Civil Union and left the group.
Luckily, the president is on top of that situation
“America is a free society, which limits the role of government in the lives of our citizens. This commitment of freedom, however, does not require the redefinition of one of our most basic social institutions. Our government should respect every person”
See, if you shove a sharp stick in someone’s eye, the trick is to tell them that “Sharp sticks should not be shoved in someone’s eye” while you are doing it.
ppGaz
Yet another spoof blows his cover.
What do you figure ….half, or more, of the posts here now are from spoofs?
I’d say half on any given day, maybe two thirds at times.
Perry Como
But the libertarian luminary Instafuckwit said we already knew about the program. The BDS engorged, looney liberal Chicago Tribune editorial page thinks something smells.
I wonder how the NRA types feel about the government having all of their phone records?
Perry Como
Who pissed in Sherard’s corn flakes this morning? Oh right. Sherard must have just figured that the whole line about small government was a lie. Next comes acceptance…
ppGaz
Perry Como, the spoof, lambastes Sherard, the spoof.
You are now caught in a Moebius Strip of Blogodelphian Spoofapaloozish Kakistakity.
Steve
Hilarious. Just hilarious. Here’s a friendly tip, Sherard: When the Republicans say “it will be good for us if we get investigated!” it’s not because it actually will be good for them, it’s because THEY DON’T WANT TO BE INVESTIGATED.
The fact that you believe the Republicans are actually out there giving honest advice to the Democrats about how to win elections just blows my mind.
KC
It’s just so funny to me that the party that has always screamed about small government is so ass backwards now. I mean, can anyone here imagine what would have happened if the NSA program was conducted by Bill Clinton? Or, better yet, Al Gore? Either one would be hanging from a tree, swinging back and forth on a political rope by now.
VidaLoca
In search of a little comic relief I took a spin over to Scrutator. They never disappoint:
They’re not ready to get with the denial-anger-acceptance thing yet.
tBone
No, Sherard will never get anywhere near Stage 5. He’s riding his own Mobius Strip of RC-RI (Recursive Cranial-Rectal Inversion), and will never escape from his own ass.
tBone
That’s the finest piece of sustained spoofing I’ve ever seen. One for the record books.
Whoever created Scrutator and its denizens is one hell of a talented writer – he/she really nails that pretentious, faux-intellectual tone that seeps off the pages of some of the creepier wingnut blogs.
ppGaz
In other words, it was you?
Any time I see that kind of fawning, I figure a guy is pimping his own stuff.
Well, the material you do here is better than Scrutator. Trust me.
tBone
Trust me, I’d love to be able to take credit for the brilliant Leo/GOP characters; they’re in a league of their own.
I did spoof over there for a brief period but I couldn’t keep it up – I felt too guilty winding up all of the lefties when there were very few (possibly no) genuine wingnuts there to make the game worthwhile.
PeterJ
From The Wall Street Journal:
If you’re a customer of AT&T, Verizon or BellSouth, then you probably should be really careful when answering a poll about the president.
Perry Como
In other news, the small government Republicans want to raise the debt ceiling *again*. They just raised it a few months back. Now they want to raise it to ten trillion.
That’s:
$10,000,000,000,000
Can I get a round of applause for the don’t tax and spend “conservatives”? The next sound you hear will be a crash of the US economy.
JoeTx
But you forget 9/11 changed everything!
Man do I long for the days of making fun of Al Gore’s “lockbox”, anybody remember that? Back in the days of budget surplus’s and worrying about what to do with the EXTRA cash!
Ancient Purple
This just in…
Bush at 29% approval.
You’re doing a heckuva job there, Bushie!!
Keep up the good work!
Santa Claus
You have to spoof them over there so you don’t have to spoof them over here. This isn’t a game, kiddo, this is the motherfuckin’ GWOT. And, in case you haven’t heard the news, GWOT=WWIII. That’s some serious shit, don’t ya know. You don’t fuck around with the President while he’s fighting a World War.
Ho ho ho, bitches. Never forget Poland, or Santa Claus will come kill you. I have diplomatic immunity- Bush said so, in a classified document. Oh, shit, I just leaked it. Time to get whacked, I guess.
Pretty sure the elves can keep Christmas churning along while I’m pushing up daisies in the Canuckian tundra,
Santa Claus
Santa Claus
I guess 71% support Saddama bin Laden, then.
America’s getting a shitload of coal this Christmas, I can tell you fuckers that much.
Ancient Purple
I still love you, Santa.
Santa Claus
I appreciate that, Ancient. You’re a good kid. Just keep your nose clean, and don’t ever badmouth the Queen of England, and I’ll see that you get something nice every 12/25.
The Easter Bunny
Santa, you tubby-ass bitch – it’s springtime. MY time of year, mofo. Stay up at the North Pole, stuff your fat fucking face with candy, and drink a tall glass of shut the fuck up unless you want me and my Peeps to open a whole new front in the War on Christmas.
Peeps, bitches!
DougJ
It looks like Sherard is indeed a spoof.
Do you think those whackjobs over at Captain Ed’s are spoofs? RonC could be our RonB?
Ancient Purple
Can’t you mythic holiday icons just get along????
Join me in celebrating….
29%! 29%! 29%!
/pops champagne cork
/get Santa and Bunny tipsy
Pooh
Oh for fuck’s sake…Hilzoy has had just about enough. Why haven’t you?
The Easter Bunny
Alcohol is the last thing that fat bastard needs. Look at his nose – you think it’s red because of the cold? Think again.
Give him a drink and one thing will lead to another, he’ll end up singing goddamn Christmas carols, pissing all over your bathroom floor, and making a clumsy pass at you. Doesn’t matter what sex or species you are either, trust me. A few beers and that lardass is hornier than Bill O’Reilly in a falafel factory.
Santa Claus
Hey, fuck you, wolf-food! I’ll smear shampoo into your eyes and turn you over to Johnson & Johnson if you EVER fuck with me again! Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m Santa-Fucking-Claus, motherfucker! I was coaling people when you were still suckling at your mamma’s teats in the warren. Hell, I was giving toys to Byzantine toddlers back when you were just some mumbo-jumbo mishmash the Celts invented to justify mass orgies! Nobody fucks with Santa, except Mrs. Claus. And maybe Angelina Jolie, but that’s between me, her, and Jesus. Keep your paws off my shit, you egg-laying freak!
Ho ho ho, bitch!
Santa Claus
Do I like booze? Damn straight. I live at the North Pole, dickweed, and the only woman within 800 miles is at least as old and fat and ugly as I am. Meanwhile, the Canucks and the moonbats are trying to wage a perpetual War on Christmas against me. You trying to tell me YOU wouldn’t drink, under the circumstances?
At least I don’t shit in the field, furball. What’s in those chocolate eggs you lay, anyway?
Well, you’ve got me there, moonbat. But nobody’s perfect. At least my grandma didn’t copulate with a chicken. Unlike SOME holiday mascots I could name.
Next, you’ll be telling me it was a GOOD thing the British Empire was dismantled. You kook. Back when Queen Victoria ran the world, you can bet your fluffy ass TWOC wouldn’t be around. No secularist bullshit back then, bubba!
ppGaz
Santa: Oh, the inanity.
ppGaz
Jay Leno, tonight: With approval ratings like these, if Bush ran today he’d get beaten by the Bird Flu.
The Disenfranchised Voter
PoTD!
Nikki
Did we really have to go there, Santa?
Paddy O'Shea
Wall Street Journal Poll today show’s the approval rating of our illustrious president falling to 29%. The Hookers’n Bribes GOP Congress sees its approval skittering down to a rather extreme18%.
Nice!
http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2006/05/11/bushs-approval-ratings
Slide.
I had recently predicted here that Bush’s approval would be in the 20’s by Memorial Day. Alas, his incompetence, dishonesty, and dismal failures have already gotten him into Nixonian territory few would have thought even possible just a short few months ago. The
continues to amaze and dazzle us all.
Brian
Santa,
All is well. Don’t sweat the furball. I just tied him by his ears to the backyard tree and beat him like a pinata. Alas, there’s no jelly beans inside easter bunnies. What does come out is not edible and has the distinct stench of raw moonbat.
Speaking of moonbats, chekitowt. Now, why the hell would Americans want to elect members of a party that resembles the 1950s GOP? Have I not been asking this for weeks, without an answer.
And yesterday I wrote that Bush’s numbers were down for reasons other than the NSA bullshit. Turns out I was fucking right AGAIN. The numbers would surely be higher if the media were telling the story honestly.
Santa, get the F-18s. Let’s do some partyin’. I got some Puerto Rican girls who are just dyin’ to meetcha.
The Easter Bunny
It’s on, bitch. It is ON. I know where your mobile toy labs are, and you can kiss ’em goodbye. You think your precious little elves can stop me? My boys are equipped with specially-modified potato cannon technology, and an endless supply of hard-boiled eggs. You do the math. We’re gonna be shearing little pointy-eared heads off left and right. Blood on the snow, mofo! I figure we can have TWOC wrapped up by July.
And you know what else? The parents of America will thank me. You think they like some fat boozehound in a red suit sneaking into their house in the middle of the night? Try that at the Cheney’s house, bitch – you’ll get your fat ass, neck, and torso filled with buckshot.
Just keep telling yourself that, tubby. Maybe it never occurred to you that I have a lot of free time around Christmas. Maybe it never occurred to you that Mrs. Claus gets lonely when you’re working long hours “building toys” (i.e., getting shitfaced and doing God knows what with your little elf “helpers” and the reindeer). I’m just sayin’.
The Easter Bunny
Listen, Bri-Bri, you don’t want to get in between me and Santa. I’m not like these pussy-ass moonbats around here – I’ve got chunks of wingnuts like you in my droppings. Unless you’re looking for a brutal thumping, I’d eat a Peep and shut the fuck up.
RonB
RonC could be our RonB?
Negative, Doug. Ive often flirted with the idea of spoofing…I mean, it wasnt that long ago that I was the target of the spoofiness, so Id certainly do a good job at it…