In the comments of this post, Rick Lee asks:

Dude… what’s up with your spelling these days? Are you on pain killers or something?

A couple lame defenses:

1.) It ain’t my spelling, it is my typing.

I rarely make spelling errors (other than the occassional homonym mix-up, which appears to happen more often as I age) when I write with pen and paper. However, I have a confession to make- I type with my feet. Well, not really, but I use only my thumb and two fingers on each hand. I have taken typing classes, I have practiced for hours, and I have spent hundreds of hours with Mavis Beacon, but it all comes back to the same four fingers and two thumbs.

2.) Diet Rite + Keyboard = Mess

I dumped a can of Diet Rite in the keyboard about three weeks ago, and even though there is no sugar, caffeine, or flavor in the damned soda, it sure does work well as an adhesive. Actually, if memory serves correctly, this keyboard has also had a Newcastle Brown and a glass of cranberry juice dumped into it at some point, so maybe the Diet Rite just mixed with the others to create some toxic sludge. Shrug.

3.) I type angry and shiny objects distract me.

I am usually pissed off about something when I am blogging, and add to that I have ten open windows, each with something I want to read, so I forget to proof-read. Usually I come back two days later and wonder how the hell anyone understood what I meant, many times the comments section affirms that indeed they did not, in fact, understand what I meant. But I bet they could sense the hostility.

4.) Sometimes when I edit posts in mid stream, or add to them later on, I forget to go back and make sure the edit makes sense with what was originally written.

That leads to unfinished thoughts abruptly truncated in

I hope that explains my crappy spelling, comma splices, misplaced and dangling modifiers, and over-all crappy grammar.

6 replies
  1. 1
    Jim Henley says:

    Tabbed browsing, w.Bloggar and a new keyboard are what the Fab Five would call for if there were Queer Eye for the Straight Blogger.

  2. 2

    You certainly get points for candor.

    These insights explain some things. Very interesting.

    I’ll share one tip, a rule that’s served me well for years now.

    Don’t ever, ever place food or drink on the same surface, preferably not even on the same level, as your PC or any part thereof, including the keyboard.

    If you have to, pull your work surface nearer to a big, heavy credenza or vice versa, for example, roll up your sleeves and do it. A good computer is a terrible thing to baste with Diet-Rite, or whatever.

  3. 3
    RW says:

    I’ve seen this work 50% of the time: Put the keyboard in the dishwasher & run with cold water AND NO DRYING CYCLE. Half the time it gets the soda off the interior & the other half it’s FUBAR (which it is now, anyway).

  4. 4
    Ralph Gizzip says:

    Hell, just buy a new keyboard. They’re cheap enough or put one in an Amazon wish list and maybe someone will buy it for you.

  5. 5
    Sandi says:

    Ralph is right. I have coffee almost constanty near my keyboard. Sure it can get spilled and does.

    I just bitch a little and then go buy a new keyboard. In the meantime I use the one off of my backup PC.

  6. 6
    CadillaqJaq says:

    I think I’m up to three fingers and a thumb per hand and gaining. My problem is I’m slightly dyslexic… I type faster than my brain can function and oft times create new words out of simple ones.

    One small thing that really bugs me is my leaving the “r” off the word “your” too frequently.

    FYI, John, I don’t have a problem with your communication generally: IDM.

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