Balloon Juice Lexicon (A-H)
Teach a man a fact, and he’s smart for a day. Teach a man to reason, and he’s a pain in the ass to his social betters for the rest of his life.
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+[number] – Used to indicate how many drinks the commentor has consumed before writing a particular post, or sometimes to suggest that another commentor must have been intoxicated when posting. Taken from reports that newscaster Dan Rather would finish a verbal outburst with “Dan Rather, plus three!”
101st Chairborne (also the Keyboard Kommandos, the Basement Brigades, or the Fighting Hellmice) – Hawkish bloggers who call for belligerent military solutions to nearly every foreign policy question without taking any personal risk. Upgraded, 21st-century version of the ‘chickenhawk’, the 101st Chairborne imagine themselves as actually striking blows on “the front line in the War on Terror.” For example, Hugh Hewitt, broadcasting from his bunker in the Empire State Building, interviews a Time correspondent in Baghdad:
HH: I’m sitting in the Empire State Building. Michael [Ware], I’m sitting in the Empire State Building, which has been in the past, and could be again, a target. Because in downtown Manhattan, it’s not comfortable, although it’s a lot safer than where you are, people always are three miles away from where the jihadis last spoke in America. So that’s…civilians have a stake in this. Although you are on the front line, this was the front line four and a half years ago.Hewitt then suggests that Australian journalist Ware is a “traitor” for reporting from behind insurgent lines, and strongly hints that he should be “recalled” by his employer.
According to DKos, the Chairborne were originally the 101st Fighting Keyboarders, as referenced by TBogg in May 2004, although the newer title was in use by the time Paul H. Henry produced his War of the Words ‘documentary’. See also, “Curse you, Scott Beauchamp!”
27 Percenters – Those Americans who will predictably vote against their own best interests. In his seminal post on the Crazification Factor, John Rogers used the 2004 Obama/Keyes senate race as a measure: “Keyes was from out of state, so you can eliminate any established political base; both candidates were black, so you can factor out racism; and Keyes was plainly, obviously, completely crazy. Batshit crazy. Head-trauma crazy. But 27% of the population of Illinois voted for him. They put party identification, personal prejudice, whatever ahead of rational judgement. Hell, even like 5% of Democrats voted for him. That’s crazy behaviour. I think you have to assume a 27% Crazification Factor in any population.”
Or, as commenter Davis X. Machina phrased it:
“The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of who will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn’t even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it.”
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ACORN –
Activist Judge- Any judge, regardless of how conservative or when or by whom they were appointed, who rules against the wishes of Rush Limbaugh or the rest of the GOP. Intended as a criticism of judges who overturn laws written by the legislative branch (‘legislating from the bench’). Proven to be partisan nonsense when rightwing SCOTUS justices voted to overturn far more laws than leftwing justices without remark from conservative pundits.
“A few bad apples”- A convenient explanation for the Abu Gharaib, Gitmo, and Bagram abuse/torture scandals that insulates senior policy makers by blaming privates and low-level officers. Despite the overwhelming evidence that the techniques employed were approved at the highest levels of the administration and can be traced from the memorandums to Gitmo to Abu Gharaib, administration officials insisted on saying the approved methods were just the actions of “a few bad apples.” The only people ever punished were low-level enlisted soldiers (and they were guilty, mind you), while those who authorized the methods and behaviors were never charged with anything. The term is now sarcastically employed by left-wing bloggers whenever there is evidence of widespread lawlessness and systemic corruption, but no one but perhaps the lowest level employees will ever be punished (for example, the Wall Street meltdown was just the work of a few bad apples).
Also, too.- One of Sarah Palin’s many verbal tics was adding the words “Also” or “Too” at the end of a sentence to serve as a bizarre form of punctuation or emphasis (video here of her during the debate). This has been adopted as a running joke, with commenters and posters frequently throwing an “Also, too” at the end of their statement.
America’s Concern Troll- coined by Atta J. Turk of Rising Hegemon, refers to the Washington Post’s putative liberal columnist Richard “Dickie” Cohen. Among Cohen’s greatest Concerns: Al Gore should abandon the 2000 recount because Tom Delay is really mean; the invasion of Iraq and torture are justified because Dickie Cohen needed ‘therapeutic violence’ after having seen 9/11 on his teevee; Dickie’s second grade teacher told him he was funny, therefore Dickie judges Stephen Colbert to be unfunny, and simply rude.
Ancient and Hermetic Order of the Shrill, The- A club organized by J. Bradford DeLong (e.g.) that welcomes any and all pundits whose coherent and ultimately correct prognostications (see Shrill) are dismissed by opinion leaders (see Serious person; Overton Window). The ritual invocation of patron saint Paul Krugman: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Krugman R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn! Aiiiiiii ! ! !
And a pony- A classic childhood wish, tacked onto a request to indicate wishful thinking. Origin of this classic is a Belle Waring post shredding glibertarians titled “If Wishes Were Horses, Beggars Would Ride-A Pony!”
Appeasement/Appeaser- Any course of action in the area of foreign policy that does not automatically assume the most belligerent tone or stance is dubbed appeasement and the offending politician is dubbed the next Neville Chamberlain. The accusation rarely involves any actual understanding of Neville Chamberlain and the international scene prior to WWII, as shown in this Chris Matthews Hardball classic:
Applebee’s Salad Bar- A reference to an idiotic statement by David Brooks of the New York Times during the 2008 campaign in which he stated on MSNBC that “Obama’s problem is he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who could go into an Applebee’s salad bar.” Applebee’s does not have, nor has it ever had, a salad bar. See also, Bobo.
Astroturfing – A professional political campaign disguised as a ‘grassroots’ uprising (astroturf is artificial grass). Also used to claim that a political opponent’s supporters are motivated not by honest philosophical disagreement but by coarse opportunism. See also Ratfucking.
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Balloon Juice – Hot air.
Banana Republicans – The modern Robber Barons; individuals who dedicate their political efforts to turning America into an oligarchy where they assume they will be the rulers. Erik D. Prince, founder and sole owner of private military company Blackwater (now Xe), may be the foremost exemplar of the breed.
Bible Spice- Nickname for Sarah Palin, possibly invented at Wonkette, and made popular by TBogg.
Beautiful Mind, My – Refers to Barbara Bush’s dismaying dismissal of the trumped-up clusterfuck her favorite son George W. Bush was about to unleash upon Iraq, a credulous and cowed America, and a skeptical and mistrustful world. This shameless display of lack of simple human empathy soon became a hallmark of The Cheney Regency. This meme became further refined after Katrina, when Barbara Bush continued to tell us more about George W. Bush than about the Katrina victims, reinforcing the old adage that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. A hallmark for the serene and sociopathic dismissal of all suffering that doesn’t affect the owner of the ‘Beautiful Mind’ personally.
Big Media Matt- Nickname given to Think Progress blogger Matt Yglesias who was a small-time blogger as a Harvard undergrad but then became one of the first to blog professionally.
Big Shitpile- Duncan Black’s (Atrios, aka Powder Blue Satan) nickname for the toxic assets and the mortgage mess.
Birthers, also birfers – Deluded portion of the fringe right, encouraged by right-wing stalwarts such as the NRO’s Andy McCarthy and the conservative magazine WorldNet Daily, who believe that Barack Obama is not an American citizen. Frequently demand access to the “vault copy” or “long form” of Obama’s birth certificate, among other things. Recent polls show an alarming number of Republicans are birthers. This movement shares close ties with the PUMA crowd of Hillary dead-enders.
Black Jimmy Carter- First used as an insult to Barack Obama in January 2008 (being compared to Jimmy Carter is the worst thing that can be done to a President according to wingnut logic), the phrase has a two-fold purpose: to imply an aura of failure around the Obama Administration, as pop culture has rendered the Carter Presidency a failure, and to excite conservative activists that the second coming of Reagan is at hand. Now used by left-wing bloggers as a joke.
Bleg – Begging via Blog. Usually a request for technical information, further citations, or links. Possibly descended from the ancient geek-friendly science-fiction mantra, “All wisdom is contained in fandom”.
Blogger Ethics Panel- Originally refers an ‘ethics panel’ that treated weblogs as a unique threat to journalistic integrity despite the ubiquity of similar or worse practices in other types of journalism. Also see this formal complaint that (falsely) accused Markos Moulitsas of failing to disclose links with the Howard Dean campaign. Now used mockingly by bloggers to mark the frequent occasions when a professional journalist or media outlet commits a major conflict of interest. A sarcastic tone is implied due to the frequent journalistic practice of ignoring ethical lapses by other journalists, but emphatically not bloggers, as a professional courtesy.
Blogospheric Navel-Gazing – Stuff like this entire lexicon.
Bobbleheads – Derogatory nickname for television talkshow hosts and the pundits who use them—empty novelty items nodding in uniform approval of “their team”. See also Media Village Idiots.
Bobo- Derogatory nickname for David Brooks of the NY Times, who coined the portmaneau Bourgeois Bohemian when he decided “yuppie” was offensive to its targets. For more details on Bobo, see this definitive piece.
Break out the Giant Foam Fingers – A term referring to the blind, ignorant, screeching wingnut defense and/or cheerleading of the American status quo, and the subsequent assertion that our policies and/or way of life are the best in the world. Political philosphy as a form of sports commentary.
Brooks Brothers Riot – On November 19, 2000, a band of several hundred well-dressed individuals, many of them paid GOP political operatives, disrupted a meeting of election canvassers in Dade County, Miami in an ultimately successful attempt to stop recount of disputed ballots in the Bush/Gore presidential contest. Once the Supreme Court awarded Bush the election by fiat, many of the rioters were rewarded with positions in Bush’s administration. This particular astroturfing event was sufficiently public and violent that it has been cited for the past nine years as an examplar of the Cheney Regency’s anti-democratic, pro-fascist preferences. See also Banana Republicans.
Burkean Bells – David Brooks referred to “Burkean alarm bells” warning him of the impending failure of Obama’s domestic policies. As a conservative touchstone, Edmund Burke produced some highly inflammatory rhetoric, such as his defense of Marie Antoinette: “I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards to avenge even a look that threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone. That of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded; and the glory of Europe is extinguished for ever.” Now many of us hear Burkean bells whenever we hear conservatives saying or doing something particularly stupid.
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Calvinball – A game, invented by Bill Watterson for his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, which is never played the same way twice and where any player may change or add a rule at any time. Used politically to describe a situation where one side attempts to control the debate by continually changing the parameters of the argument (aka ‘moving the goalposts’). Thus, when President G.W. Bush’s approval rating went from 30% to 32%, Republicans applauded his improving popularity; when President Obama’s approval ratings dropped from 57% to 55%, Republicans announced that his presidency had failed. During the Bush Administration, a bill approved by 51 members of the Republican-dominated Senate was considered “a mandate”; during the current Health Care Reform battle, however, “conventional wisdom” has shifted the standards, first demanding a 60-vote filibuster-proof majority, and later “requiring” another 15 or 20 minority-Republican votes so that it will be “truly bi-partisan”.
Canuckistan – Canada.
Caribou Barbie- Nickname for Sarah Palin.
Cavuto Mark – A question mark used to speculate on a false claim, thus allowing Fox News to run incendiary chyrons without needing any facts to support the claim. The use of punctuation to cover for what would otherwise be a baseless (and libellous) accusation: “Dick Cheney hunts black men” would be wrong. “Dick Cheney hunts black men?” is okay. Perhaps rhetorical, perhaps slanderous—we examine the controversy; you decide! Coined by Jon Stewart after Fox’s Neil Cavuto
:“...Cavuto’s not saying these things. He’s just asking, like, ‘Is your mother a whore?’ What? I’m not saying she’s a whore. I’m just wondering out loud if she is a whore. All I’m saying is that reasonable people who have banged your mother for money can disagree.”See also, Some people say.
Celebrity, or Obama as a celebrity- One of the weirder chapters in the 2008 McCain campaign occurred in the summer of 2008, when McCain HQ tried to re-brand popularity as a negative. The campaign produced and aired commercials depicting Obama as a celebrity, with the clear implication that widespread popularity at home and abroad should be an electoral liability. Although this reflected a classic Rovian tactic of attacking a candidate’s strong points (see Swift Boat Veterans for Truth), some took this to mean that strategists in the McCain camp were unaware that the goal of an election is to win more votes. Several weeks later the campaign chose Sarah Palin as McCain’s running mate, an act which confirmed those suspicions in the minds of many.
Center-right nation- A frequent refrain among right-leaning commenters that successfully penetrated mainstream opinion leaders (see ‘serious people’) after the 2008 election, this was an attempt to mitigate the repudiation of the GOP by the electorate. Despite getting hammered in the Presidential election, the House, and the Senate, right wing pundits would insist that regardless of the massive Democratic gains and the shift to the left, this is still a “center-right nation.” To this day, we have no knowledge of any of the stenographers in the media refuting this ludicrous assertion. A final point of irony: the folks insisting the nation was still center-right to diminish the magnitude of Obama’s win were frequently the people who trumpeted Bush’s razor-thin wins as “clear mandates.” See also Puke funnel and Stenographers.
Cheeto dust – A magical substance, the political version of pixy dust, that makes every Conservative ineptitude or malfeseance look like a triumph. Since all wingnut bloggers are said to survive on a diet of Cheetos and Mountain Dew, the vividly-colored orange dust is used as a metaphor for conservative bloggers’ relentless cheerleading for their chosen leaders’ actions or inactions. “Sprinkle more cheeto dust, maybe we’ll be able to make out Saddam’s WMDs in the clouds!” See also, Clap Louder and Tinkerbelle Effect.
Cheney Regency, the – George W. Bush’s presidential administration.
Chewbacca defense- attempting to win an argument by confusing the issues with completely irrelevant details. Based on a classic South Park episode. Not to be confused with the Chewbacca Gambit, in which otherwise proper actions are discouraged by threats of violence, generally thinly veiled.
Chunky David Brooks – Ross Douthat. See Chunky Reese Witherspoon and BoBo Brooks for the derivation.
Chunky Reese Witherspoon – Ross Douthat, while blogging professionally at The Atlantic, published a memoir using this phrase to describe a fellow collegian whose feminine wiles he claimed to have resisted due to his distaste for her birth-control-pill-popping, hedonistic habits. The story solidified Douthat’s reputation as the new young right-wing Culture Scold, and possibly led to his current position at the New York Times, but it also offered endless entertainment speculating about Douthat’s personal sexual foibles to bloggers who do not care for professional culture scolds.
Clap Louder- Refers to Peter Pan exhorting the audience “If you believe in fairies…clap your hands.” If the children do not clap loudy enough, they are warned, Tinkerbelle will die. Politically, a statement that an argument or idea has left this mortal coil and is now in the realm of fantasy, and will succeed only if the target audience doubles down on the Fantasy vs. Reality challenge. (The only measure of the success of a Republican policy is public praise; conversely, the failure of any Republican policy is due only to liberal criticism.) Crudely, trying to make a stupid idea sound better by showing greater enthusiasm; attempting to polish a turd. For example, throughout the early years of the Iraq war, wingnuts frequently blamed the media and anti-war protesters for the failures of the war because “they had failed to support our troops”, despite the fact that the Bush administration had been given everything they asked for during the period. See also, Tinkerbell strategy.
Clenis, the- Combination of Clinton and Penis, used to jokingly refer to the wingnut obsession with Bill Clinton. Origin unknown.
Clown Shoes- Someone or something that is just a total joke, worth a chuckle maybe once, after that it just becomes boring and annoying. (Ref: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). Frequently used as a tag for predictably idiotic behavior.
Cole’s Law – 1. In any given political discussion, if religion is mentioned, the probability of the discussion shifting to a flame war about religion and the Founding Fathers approaches one. 2. Thinly sliced cabbage.
Commander Codpiece or Commander Bunnypants – Derogatory nickname given to President George Bush after his landing on a US aircraft carrier on May 1, 2003 dressed in a naval flight suit to proclaim victory in the Iraq war. Bush’s flight gear caused an obvious bulge in Bush’s groin area. Several professional pundits (including Chris Matthews) and many members of the right-wing blogosphere celebrated this display of “Bush’s manly attribute” in terms usually reserved for softcore gay pornography, leading to a left-wing counterreaction. For a more recent specimen of RW sexually-flavored idolatry, see Starbursts.
Concern troll- Someone who pretends to agree with the prevailing views of the blog, and simply wants to urge caution in this one case, but who is really trying to undermine the views he pretends to hold. Can be hard to distinguish from a poster having second thoughts or angsty misgivings, but tendency becomes clear after several posts. Gives rise to the expression, “concern troll is concerned“, coined from LOLcats.
Conservative – (1) “The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.” John Kenneth Galbraith
(2) People who don’t want to be informed – just affirmed.
(3a) A philosophy or system of government that is marked by stringent social and economic control, a strong, centralized government usually headed by a dictator, and often a policy of belligerent nationalism. Oh sorry, that’s the dictionary definition of Fascism.
(3b) Form of political behavior marked by obsessive preoccupation with community decline, humiliation or victimhood and by compensatory cults of unity, energy and purity, in which a mass-based party of committed nationalist militants, working in uneasy but effective collaboration with traditional elites, abandons democratic liberties and pursues with redemptive violence and without ethical or legal restraints goals of internal cleansing and external expansion. No, wait, that’s Robert O. Paxson’s definition of fascism.
(4) Anyone who believes the United States of America was placed on this Earth by the baby Jesus to bring free markets, handguns, and bibles to every dog-eating commie backwater on the planet.
(5) “Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.” – John Stuart Mill.
(6)”Today’s so-called ‘conservatives’ don’t even know what the word means. They think I’ve turned liberal because I believe a woman has a right to an abortion. That’s a decision that’s up to the pregnant woman, not up to the pope or some do-gooders or the Religious Right. It’s not a conservative issue at all.”-Barry Goldwater.
See also “Shut up, that’s why.”
Counter tops- as in “But what are their counter tops made of?” or “X has insulted Rush Limbaugh! To the countertops!” Twelve-year-old Graeme Frost spoke publicly with gratitude that S-CHIP helped with medical expenses after a car accident left him with severe injuries, and wished the same for other children. Wingnuts immediately piled on to this dangerous kid and trashed his family, going so far as to look in the windows and see – gasp! – countertops that appeared to be made of granite. This obviously made his family unfit to receive any public benefits. (The counters were concrete, but no matter, it’s still a scandal!) Now used to show the idiocy of the wingnuts trying to discredit anyone who says something they don’t like, using completely irrelevant and often false information.
Cow on the Tracks – On October 14, 2009, Michael Steele, head of the Republican National Committee, announced that he would derail any Democractic attempts at health care reform because “I’m the cow on the tracks”. Since real-life encounters between cows and locomotives seldom end well for the cows, this statement was quickly seized as a particularly mockable example of the RNC’s current pathetic ineptitude.
C-Plus Augustus – Derogatory nickname for George W. Bush. Possibly coined by Charles Pierce.
Crazification Factor- The belief that a certain portion of the population is just plain crazy, first posited by John Rogers, with the number at 27%.
“Curse you, Scott Beauchamp!” or “Damn you, Scott Beauchamp!” – Mr. Beauchamp, while serving in Iraq, wrote an article published in the New Republic (using the pseudonym Scott Thomas) about his experiences, including anecdotes of some less-than-sterling acts by his fellow American soldiers (running over a dog, mocking a disfigured Iraqi). Outraged rightwing milbloggers immediately mounted a “counter-offensive”, moving from posts using toy tanks in sandboxes to “demonstrate the impossibility of Beauchamp’s allegations”, to (ultimately successful) attempts to force the New Republic into publishing a retraction / firing Beauchamp, to “leaking” Beauchamp’s personal information via an “official letter” from an individual claiming to be Beauchamp’s superior officer. Since Beauchamp’s most pessimistic predictions of America’s failure to swiftly impose Enduring Freedom in Iraq have since been exceeded, the sarcastic “Curse you, Scott Beauchamp!” has become the anti-war DFH’s sarcastic shorthand for all subsequent rightwing warblogger laments, would-be justifications, SNAFUs, and FUBARs. The resemblance to cartoon character Snoopy’s oft-repeated ‘Curse you, Red Baron!’ may have been intentional. Also: Humorous refrain adopted in the aftermath of the Beauchamp affair that liberal bloggers would use to mock the right-wingers who wanted to blame the then-failing war, gripped by a crushing insurgency, on the evil liberal media who simply would not report the good news from Iraq. See also Clap Louder and Tinkerbell Strategy.
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Daydream Believers – Tag for propositions or theories considered unduly optimistic (Barak Obama will-or ever intended to – propose ‘Medicare for all Americans’) or pessimistic (Sarah Palin will be elected president in 2012).
Dean Scream, the- Also known as the “I Have a Scream” speech. 1). Dr. Howard Dean’s enthusiastic bellow during the 2004 Democratic primaries, over-amplified both literally and figuratively by a press apparatus bent on demonizing an outsider to the Village groupthink who was threatening to gain too much popular support. 2). Any minor technical or verbal gaffe run ad infinitum and ad nauseum by a compliant press apparatus in order to make a popular political figure appear a bug-eyed maniac when his or her ideas become more widely accepted than is comfortable to the status quo.
Decider, the (also: The Deciderer) – Mocking terminology for former President Bush. Originated when, under attack for not firing Donald Rumsfeld, Bush replied, “But I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense.” Term is now used to mock Bush’s legendary refusal to change his mind on a course of action, regardless of how many facts were presented to him—or to accuse other conservatives of emulating Bush’s unthinking stubborness.
Demonic Conservative Ridicule Machine- TBOGG, a somewhat popular blogger. Background here.
DFHs- Dirty Fucking Hippies. By consensus of the “serious” mainstream media (MSM), any progressive blogger; to the more conservative MSM, any blogger and most forms of “independent” reporting media. Used by certain bloggers as an act of reclamation.
DIAF- Die In A Fire.
Dick Whisperer- Derogatory nickname given to consummate Beltway insider and Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank, who after being demolished on a television show by Nico Pitney, leaned over and whispered into Pitney’s ear that he was “such a dick.”
“Did you know that John McCain was a POW?”- Post tag used throughout the 2008 Presidential campaign to reflect the remarkable frequency with which the McCain campaign or a surrogate pointed this fact out, seemingly regardless of context. Media members spent the entire 2008 presidential campaign pretending to be astonished, and charmed, that McCain was too principled and modest to ever, ever bring up his POW status, even though he and his campaign brought it up all the time.
Dijongate- The national scandal wherein president Obama asked for spicy mustard on a hamburger. Cornell Law instructor William Jacobson, forever after to be known as Colonel Mustard, took the lead in the charge against Obama’s effete condiment preferences, and interpreted the howling laughter at his rhetoric as “leftist rage.”
Doughy Pantload- A derogatory nickname for LA Times columnist and former National Review Online Editor Jonah Goldberg, who inflicted a book-length violation of Godwin’s law upon an unsuspecting (and, among his readers, undiscerning) public. Frequently mocked for statement he made about his book, entitled “Liberal Fascism”, roughly a year prior to its publication, that it was a very serious, thoughtful, argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care; see also this related follow-up post. Variations include Doughbob Loadpants, as named by Norbizness.
“Dude, where my recession?”- wingnut catchphrase used frequently during the recession of 2007-09 to deny the existence of said recession; the mocking tone is thought to reflect the GOP’s considerable empathy for so-called ordinary Americans, who, by coincidence, incurred the brunt of said recession. Magically, the day the markets crashed, the catchphrase disappeared, and the now year-old recession was then blamed on candidate Barack Obama. Wingnuts now fondly blame Obama for the recession as far back as September of 2008, two months before he was even elected.
DWTFTW- “Doing whatever the fuck they want,” typically ascribed to Republican lawlessness, particularly during the Bush era.
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Editing, please – Once upon a time, Balloon-Juice had an editing feature, now available erractically and only for certain platforms, that allowed commenters to correct typos, etc., for a four-minute window after posting. “Editing, please?”, or variations such as “My kingdom for the return of the edit button!”, have since become a common refrain from BJ commenters — a crew better known for their thoughtfulness, wit, and snarkiness, than for their manual dexterity — upon realizing that beautiful gems of prose are marred by an ugly typo. See also, FYWP.
“Even the liberal New Republic”- Phrase used by wingnuts, the conservative media, and others to pretend that there is broader support for whatever the nutty idea du jour might be. The New Republic, a center to center-left publication (albeit center-right anywhere else in the world) is hardly a liberal publication, and as hawkish as it gets regarding every use of military force and all things Israel. A frequent corollary is “Even the liberal Camille Paglia.” See also Center right nation.
Excellent News for John McCain- See ‘“This is excellent news, etc.”.’
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Fonzi of Freedom- Dismissive nickname for Reason editor Nick Gillespie, known for his permanent smirk, smug writing style, and leather jacket.
Freepers – People or other entities that roam the blog known as “FreeRepublic”. Far-right and libertarian, this is where wingnuts are born and bred. Freepers honestly believe that John McCain is a socialist, and the overall group concensus is so opposite to the Reality-Based Community as to approach insanity. Many right-wing amateur assholes and idiots on TV, either on the campaign trail or at astroturf events, can be traced to an account at Free Republic. Also known as Stormfront Lite, an association vehemently denied by the Freepers themselves.
Freeping – Encouraging blog readers to seek out obscure online polls, and after influencing the results of that poll, claiming some universal mandate based on said outcome. Eventually morphed into various, more overt forms of poll-hacking and online intimidation. Invented, or at least claimed, by the blog FreeRepublic.
fReichtards – Derogatory nickname for rightwing authoritarians, especially those who excused the Bush Administration’s usurpation of powers under the “Patriot Act” but who now decry the Obama Adminstration’s most harmless acts (such as Obama’s video address to schoolchildren) as socialism or worse. One corner of the modern Republican Golden Triangle, the other two being Talibangelicals and Robber Barons (more politely, authoritarians, fundamentalists, and fiscal conservatives).
Friedman Unit, or F.U.- Six months, to be followed by another six months, to be followed by yet another six months, indefinitely. Tom Friedman, pundit/journalist satirized as “The Moustache of Understanding”, used this phrase so relentlessly in his defense of the Second Iraq War that it has its own Wikipedia entry. Postulated by Atrios and demonstrated authoritatively by FAIR.
FSM- The flying spaghetti monster.
FTFY - Fuck The Fucking Yankees. In memory of the late, great blogger Steve Gilliard. Also, consensus opinion of all decent human beings is that the Yankees suck.
FTW – For The Win. A statement of approbation, potentially confusing as it is the only common BJ acronym where the F does not stand for “fuck”.
Furminator – A patented pet-grooming device which, when properly employed, will generate a quantity of loose hair sufficient to weave a blanket, crochet an infant’s layette, or knit an entirely new cat. John Cole’s enthusiastic endorsement of his new Furminator inspired so many BJ commentors to buy their own that it may have moved the company’s stock price has become a byword for his persuasive abilities.
(Definition should ideally be illustrated with that photo of Tunch looking curiously at the Tunch-sized heap of fur next to him.)
FWIW- For What It’s Worth.
FYWP- Fuck You, WordPress. Usually indicates that the writer has just lost a long, well-thought-out, incredibly witty post to the vagueries of WordPress Error. A particularly severe period of such posting failures will lead to remarks about “my favorite blog, WPE” or “Wordpress > Error = Balloon Juice’s default front page”.
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Glennuendo – The act of drawing a darkly ominous inference from an opponent’s failure to discuss a political issue. Word play inspired by the habit of Glenn Reynolds, aka the Instapundit, insinuating that someone was doing something wrong or had something to hide if they had not addressed even the most obscure issue. Coined by commenter Vaara, example here.
Glenzilla- Nickname for civil libertarian, Constitutional scholar and Salon columnist Glenn Greenwald.
Glibertarian – a portmanteau of glib and libertarian, a person who affects libertarianism when it’s convenient. Used by those not ready to admit that all libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to “I got mine, fuck you”, or by those attempting to be polite to libertarians.
Going Galt – Withdrawing one’s unique brilliance from the economy in protest of tax rates which are actually abnormally low for the post-war era. Discussed and encouraged by bloggers such as Dr. Helen and Meghan McArdle, but never actually preformed, because even they can tell it would be a fucking moronic thing to do. Wholly ineffective and counterproductive, outside of poorly-written midcentury fantasy novels. Also:
Goldberg Theorem – As originally posited by Steve Benen and refined by Balloon Juice’s own Tim F.: “When the market goes up, it’s good for Republicans. When the market goes down, it’s bad for Democrats.”
GOS – Great Orange Satan, AKA the Daily Kos.
Granite Countertops – See Countertops.
Green Lantern Theory – States that the main impediment preventing a goal from being achieved is a lack of willpower. Coined by Matt Yglesias to describe the thinking of Iraq hawks and neoconservative geopolitics, it has also been used to describe a similar mindset in other areas such as financial regulation. Conveniently, the theory cannot be disproved—since any setback, military or otherwise, can simply be blamed on a lack of will, necessitating a redoubled effort with greater resolve. The name comes from the DC Comics character Green Lantern, whose power ring can produce almost any effect imaginable so long as the wielder has sufficient power of will to call it into being.
Green Shoots – Non-ironically, the term used by pundits and financial specialists to describe indicators that the economy might be recovering, no matter how tiny and tenuous said indicators may be. Ironically, the term used to describe indicators of massive, continuing economic problems, such as unemployment.
GSAVE – Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism. Lame attempt to rebrand the War on Terror by the Bush administration that was rolled out in July of 2005 and quickly dropped several days later.
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# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
H
“He has a book to sell”- Derived from the right-wing tendency to dismiss any legitimate criticism from a former party member, where they claim cynically that the individual is simply trying to drum up book sales (See “Clarke, Richard A.”). An Attack used to defame any whistle blower, insider account or opponent of one’s own worldview, if said opponent has authored a book. (Of course, the general method for spreading an idea or allegation in modern society is by authoring a book or magazine article, and then being interviewed in the press.) Charge used to dismiss an argument, not matter how factual or valid, simply by implying a profit motive; considered valid even if the author already has substantial personal wealth. A form of the ad hominem logical fallacy which attacks the writer’s motives without addressing his or her argument.
Heh, Indeed – Mockery of Glenn Reynold’s habit of creating Instapundit blog posts that consist solely of a quote from some other right-wing website followed by the phrase “Heh, indeed.” Used to indicate the average wingnut’s laziness and/or inability to waver, however minimally, from the conservative consensus.
He-Man Woman-Hater’s Club – Chris Matthews, Beltway Chapter President. Used to mock certain Media Village Idiots’ and bloggers’ uninhibited misogyny and hypersuspicion of women in positions of power, especially female politicians, by comparing them to the angry little boys in the Our Gang kiddy serials of the 1920s. May have been inspired by Matthews’ resemblance to “Spanky” and his ridiculously sexist treatment of Hillary Clinton (going back to Bill Clinton’s original presidential campaign), but is now used as a general reference for paleo-conservative defenders of all things masculine.
High Broderism- Also frequently seen as merely “Broderism.” Whereby a center-right pundit, often Broder himself, decrees that bipartisanship is a good thing and can be achieved if only everyone would agree with the center-right pundit. For the last ten years or so, High Broderism has been the shorter version of virtually every op-ed from David Broder.
Hiking The Appalachian Trail- A comically flimsy excuse created by a public figure to cover up illicit sex. Widely recognized as an instant classic when South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford attempted to cover up an Argentina sex trip by claiming that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, on Naked Hiking Day. The South Carolina State deserves particular credit in this story, both for greeting Governor Sanford as he stepped off the flight from Argentina and for uncovering ancillary misbehavior by “media” figures such as RedState’s Erick Erickson.
Hindrocket - the self-chosen online pseudonym of Powerline blogger John Hindraker, since abandoned for… rather obvious reasons. Referred to by his detractors as Assrocket, especially for his beyond-the-call-of-duty paeans to the unique genius of President G.W. Bush. Perhaps best known for these definitive examples of Bush knob-polishing:
It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.and
Obama thinks he is a good talker, but he is often undisciplined when he speaks. He needs to understand that as President, his words will be scrutinized and will have impact whether he intends it or not. In this regard, President Bush is an excellent model; Obama should take a lesson from his example. Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn’t raise his standards, he will exceed Bush’s total before he is inaugurated.
Hoekstroika- A ridiculous statement that greatly minimizes the suffering of one group of people while wildly escalating the suffering of another group of people, when no such comparison exists. Usually for partisan political point scoring. Origin: a “twitter” from Rep. Peter Hoekstra comparing the violent repression of peaceful demonstrators in Iran with Republicans in congress:
Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House. 8:56 AM Jun 17th from TwitterBerry
Hola Fruta!- John’s favorite frozen treat, mentioned frequently, which led to any number of questions and vulgar insinuations about John’s sexual preferences.
Hoocoodanode – Snarky reference (“who could’ve known?”) to the “No One Could Have Predicted… “ self-justification; see that entry for further explication.
Hoot-Smalley- A rare one-word distillation of Wingnut cluelessness and loopiness, in an especially crystalline form: from Michelle Bachmann’s meanderings about what she called the “Hoot-Smalley” (= Smoot-Hawley) tariff.
HuffPo- The Huffington Post.
