06
Dec
Quote of the Day
I didn’t see Romney’s speech, but Hugh Hewitt did. I wonder if he liked it. Let’s check:
Mitt Romney’s “Faith in America” speech was simply magnificent, and anyone who denies it is not to be trusted as an analyst. On every level it was a masterpiece. The staging and Romney’s delivery, the eclipse of all other candidates it caused, the domination of the news cycle just prior to the start of absentee voting in New Hampshire on Monday—for all these reasons and more it will be long discussed as a masterpiece of political maneuver.
I guess that settles that. Now about that whole Harriet Miers nomination thing, Hugh…
*** Update ***
I’m not the only one. Self-parody is right.
*** Update #2 ***
What word was absent from Mitt’s speech?
Cassidy
Not having watched the speech, nor caring really, he is right about dominating the news cycles. That alone was a well done strategy.
demimondian
Isn’t this the same Hewitt who was talking about G.W. Bush as an “underrated genius”? In fact, wasn’t the term “masterpiece” used to describe that gentleman’s foreign policy?
If Romney is to Faith in America as GWB was to American foreign policy, we’ll reach The Handmaid’s Tale sooner than I expect.
IanY77
I don’t mean this as a “gotcha” (OK, maybe a little bit), but I was wondering, why now? Hewitt says, apparently with a straight face, that there is no anti-Mormon bigotry on the right, only the left. If that’s the case, why not wait until after the nomination is sewn up to make this speech?
Of course, maybe HH is full of crap and there are some people in the “base” who will not vote Mormon under any circumstances (even if “that bitch” is the nominee).
/to-may-to, to-mah-to
Psycheout
Chrissy Matthews loved it too. I was blown away that some at Race 4 2008 were crowing about Chrissy liking it. As if Wiffleball’s host is an authority on anything.
I read the speech. It was pretty bland. The only people who’d call it great are his cheering section and morons. Of course both are probably the same group of people.
Zifnab
Ya think?
Psycheout
I should probably write a post about “the speech” but I think trying to do so will put me to sleep. Zzzzz.
cleek
fuck you, Mitt.
IanY77
seconded.
Svensker
From the most trusted source in butt-kissing.
At least HH’s enthusiastic about his enthusiasms. That counts for something, doesn’t it?
jnfr
Thirded.
Sirkowski
Davis X. Machina
I thought the delivery was decidedly odd
Weird emPHAses, and odd inTONations—like a phonetically memorized head-of-state conference speech.
I guess I am untrustworthy as an analyst.
J sub D
Mitt, go here and look at those on the top of the list. A bunch of dictatorships?
I get sooo tired of people eqauting theism with freedom when historically it is the opposite.
cleek
wow. you gotta read the comments below Hewitt’s post:
Other campaigns have been using religion to divide the race – and Mitt comes in as the uniting leader. He was by far more presidential than any ‘08 candidate we have seen yet. ”
—
“Win, lose, or draw, Mitt Romney gave a speech today that will go down as one of the best political speeches in history. “
anyone else getting a strong whiff of fake ?
Jake
Good Lord in applesauce. I kept hearing loud, slobbery sucking noises as I read that.
Someone please give Huge Spewitt a towel
Psycheout
That’s a bit unfair. I’m not so sure I couldn’t vote for a Mormon. Orrin Hatch is a decent man, for example.
Mitt, on the other hand, is such an opportunist and phony that his Mormonism doesn’t really come into the picture for me. His heretical religion is secondary.
Mitt does not represent all Mormons, and his run isn’t a referendum on that kooky religion.
Brachiator
What a load of crap. Evidently, both Mitt the Kid and HH just got around to reading the Constitution yesterday, and are shocked, shocked, to find that there is no religious test for the presidency or other federal office, and want to share their discovery with everyone else. And then Mitt has the nerve to twist “no religious test” into “ain’t nobody here but us believers.”
This hypocritical moron who is trying to softpedal his own Mormonism to fundamentalist cretins by pretending to defend religious freedom is the same doofus who insisted that “We need to have a person of faith lead the country,” way back on February 17, 2007.
But no religious test means no religious test, of any kind, including a test of being religious vs being non-religious or entirely apathetic to the notion of any religion at all.
Oh, yeah, the founders did not draft the pledge, and putting your hand on the Bible to take the Oath is NOT REQUIRED by the Constitution, the wording, “I swear…” is optional, and the concluding “... so help me God” (or Buddha or Allah or Muhammed) is an add-on by tradition, but not required.
Hewitt is clearly not to be trusted as an analyst, and Mitt’s Apologia is nothing more than a craven attempt to pander to a politically ignorant and religiously obnoxious crowd of yahoos.
Psycheout
To coin a phrase, LULWUT?!?
grumpy realist
Someone pointed out that the problem with the speech is that, it just sounds like everything else Mitt has said, i.e., he’ll say anything to get elected and slithers all over everything.
And it’s STILL not going to convince those who think that Mormonism is a cult.
Bombadil
I’m getting a strong whiff of something, all right.
RSA
Wow. I like the form of his argument: Here’s my opinion, and if you disagree you’re wrong. Thus Hugh Hewitt is an idiot, and anyone who denies it has his head up his ass.
Zifnab
A behind the scenes look at the making of the Mitt Romney Speech.
Libby Spencer
Personally, I thought your old post on Miers was infinitely more interesting than Mitt’s spleech.
Robert Johnston
Just goes to show that Hewitt shouldn’t try to write while he’s multiply orgasming. So few words, so much ejaculate all over his keyboard. His new world record for most times masturbating to climax during a Mitt Romney speech will never, ever be broken.
Sensitive Pony Tailed Girly Man
Hugh’s commentator who said that there was no way my man Willard M. could fake it obviously hasn’t been paying attention. The unkind might say Willard is Sociopathic in the ease in which he can fake anything. I like to think that he’s just especially good at what he does. I took a bite out of a Ham Sandwich once, only to discover that it was Willard, faking one. He’s good. Really good.
Mitt’s Moment of Obfuscation: “Teh Speech” « Blogs 4 Conservatives
[...] Hat Tip: The always interesting Balloon Juice. [...]
Tim
paraphrasing Zero Mostel in the original Producers:
“We’ve found our Reagan !”
guyermo
HH is the new John Hinderaker aka assrocket
Psycheout
More wishful thinking about “the speech.”
If Romney wins the election, this will be the moment we will look back on as the final push.
That’s a big if, buddy. Because he won’t. This speech will be forgotten sooner than…
Hey, what am I talking about?
Yep, it’ll be that quick.
Ed Drone
I think the speech (“TEH SPEECH?”) is actually going to be in the lead balloon category, and it certainly was not aimed at the majority of Americans, just the rightest-tightest of the religious rightards, who are not likely to vote for Mitt anyway.
That said, it just occurred to me—if Mitt gets the nod, who will he choose for his Jeff?
Ed
Grand Moff Texan
An empty windsock like Romney cannot be a credible messenger to restore the cynical use of vapid bullshit religious rhetoric that was so powerful before 2006, when “Values Voters” walked away from Republicans after learning they’d been had.
The man believes nothing. He is absolutely the worse standard bearer for the GOP if they are to get back to using decoy issues like God! Guns! Gays! to distract people while they rip them off.
That it would take a national candidate slurring our Constitution and history, substituting a skygod he doesn’t believe in for simple human accountability, should be terrifying to everyone. These people hate our country and want to “return” it to something it never was. When he says that freedom comes from God and not limited government, it’s the sound of cynical theocracy liberating itself from accountability. It’s the definition of tyranny, but fortunately, Romney is so much of a joke that it has to backfire.
.
cleek
here’s Our Lady Of Perpetual Outrage:
December 6, 2007 — a date which will live in infamy — the United Forces Of Straw was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the combined rhetorical forces of the Empire of Perpetual Outrage.
Jen
If you squint really, really, hard, you can see Reagan, naw, ok, you can’t.
I have an unashamed love and reverence for my country. I put the flag out on all the patriotic holidays, including Flag Day, because I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let the wingnuts monopolize it and make it the equivalent of GWB when really he is the antithesis of what America stands for. It’s sort of a protest that wraps all the way around again, like when goth kids go pink.
But can I just say that Americans leaders talking with love about their country is about a rare as air molecules? Lincoln was the best, Bush is the worst, but they all do it more or less whenever they talk. Are these guys just excited about a potential President who might be able to give a speech without getting completely dumbfounded by the English language four seconds into it?
Faux News
I guess we have our new Fred Barnes when Hugh Hewit pens his future book called “Mormon Rebel in Chief” for the Mittens Prezidency.
Shorter HH: “I can haz More-man for Prezident”?
PaulW
Hugh Hewitt’s gushing should have included little hearts drawn into the margins just like in those middle school OMG notes 6th grade girls pass to each other.
Ever see that movie “The Village,” where one girl goes up to Joaquim Phoenix and starts gushing unabashedly about how much in love she was with him “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!”. I swear to my Unitarian God, I heard that voice in the back of my mind as I read HH’s love letter.
So, Hugh, when’s the wedding?
Bombadil
Ironically, it will likely be in Massachusetts.
Davis X. Machina
The man believes nothing.
Not strictly true – -he believes he should be President.
Ordinary Presidents run because they want to be someone, extraordinary Presidents run because they want to do something.
Grand Moff Texan
So, Hugh, when’s the wedding?
There’s not going to be a wedding. Hugh already put out.
.
Svensker
Since we’ve been asked not to use “LOL” anymore as too jejeune, please insert more sophisticated laugh symbol here.
Mike S
Baby Hewy is one of the funniest, and most pathetic, talkers out there. For someone so proud of his “Christian Values” his combination of Idolitry, The GOP, and bearing false wittness, every word out of his mouth, is astounding.
Jamey
h/t Duncan Black: (http://atrios.blogspot.com/2007_12_02_archive.html#4574157057099180781)
Mitt’s all like, “It’s as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America – the religion of secularism. They are wrong.”
And then Duncan’s like, “Really it would just be crazy if anyone tried to start a new religion in America… oh, wait.”
Pwn3d!
Jen
Aw, Svensker, it’s o.k. to use LOL if you really want to. It isn’t my blog, you know.
ThymeZone
What word was missing?
“Shall,” as in:
Not “should,” as in we “kinda sort should not really pick presidents on the basis of religion,” which was Mitt’s faux theme, since he really meant, you should pick me because even though I practice a fucked up cult religion I am really a morally superior values guy like you are.
No religious shall be required. Period. The end. Shut the fuck up and stop telling us how fucking religious you are you lying sack of shit.
Is that sort of what we were looking for?
NickM
Mitt’s sycophants forget that well-remembered speeches seldom are exercises in stupendous ass-kissery. But if they remembered that, they wouldn’t be sycophants in the first place.
Tsulagi
I dunno, I might think Missourians for Mitt might like it, and also call his candidacy great. Don’t Mormons think the Garden of Eden was in Missouri. Mitt becomes prez think of the possibilities. A giant amusement park: EveLand. Missouri could finally have some tourism instead of being a flyover state.
ThymeZone
Must be Branson.
Psycheout
Uh, I think “Missourians for Mitt” would probably be part of that cheering section I referenced. Otherwise I agree with you.
Actually “____ for Mitt” usually denotes members of OvenMitt’s cheering section.
Ted
Fuck off, bigoted asshole.
Rick Taylor
From Mitt Romney’s speecth:
So in one breath, Romney says the President shouldn’t describe and explain the distinctive doctrines of his church because he’s the President of peoples of all faith, and in another he says I believe Jesus is the messiah and the son of God, so you fundamentalists out there should have no trouble voting for me because I agree with you on what’s important. My church may have some distinctive doctrines which are unimportant and which I will not comment on, but it’s not like I’m a Jew or an atheist after all—I believe Jesus is the one true savior. He throws out plenty of other bones for the fundamentalists, freedom requires religion, judges have to respect the foundation of faith our constitution is based on for our greatness to endure, etc.
The contradiction is bald; the hypocrisy and self-serving opportunism is stunning. He simultaneously attempts to inoculate himself against religious litmust tests and to exploit them. It’s breath taking.
John, you’re hard on Hillary, accusing her of cynical triangulation opportunism, but is there anything she’s said that even approaches what Romney’s done in this one speech?
Kevin Drum has more.
ThymeZone
As quoted on DKos, and as said by Mike Huckabee.
Why do we bother parsing the words of these motherfuckers?
Dennis - SGMM
Hugh Hewitt is to political analysis what shit is to nutrition.
Robert Johnston
To determine whether they’re insane or lying. A lot can ride on that determination, especially if the next Congress passes some universal medical insurance coverage plan that includes care for mental health.
Of course I can’t really think of a reason other than that.
Rick Taylor
Via Andrew Sullivan, Mike Huckabee states his rise in the polls can only be attributed to divine intervention. I’m inclined to agree.
Ted
Because they want to have lots of power over our lives.
Jake
Because we can’t shove them feet first into wood chippers.
I suppose old Huck (motherhucker?) wants to go back to the good old days when women and children were chattel, reverse Loving v. Virgina and nuke Mass.
The Other Steve
Hugh Hewitt should be a lesson to all you spoofers. Nobody can spoof better than the Hugh.
grumpy realist
I’m reminded of a choice quote from Thomas Beer about American politicians “invoking Christ with the freedom of medieval kings in a brawl over the borders.”
Of course, he WAS talking about the shenanigans of the 1890s.
Ah well, it looks like every N years the US goes nuts though another typical spasm of religious fervour.
I’m surprised that one of Mitt’s rivals hasn’t been handing out copies of Sherlock Holmes’ The Sign of Four to voters.. Jes’ a nice little piece of litterachur, right? Nothin’ else at all…
Toolshed
His heretical religion is secondary.
Fuck off, bigoted asshole.
If I make fun of stupid people, its not bigotry. Mormons are stupid. Now you may be arguing that we’re making fun of retards in which case you may have a point but you would also probably be retarded yourself.
Robert Johnston
Because we can’t shove them feet first into wood chippers.Sure we can. However, extremely unlike Mitt, just because we can do something obviously righteous and more than a bit sanctimonious that would feel great in the moment but have messy consequences doesn’t mean we will do so or that we expect such actions to be given legal blessing.
If I thought it OK to mix my religion with my state, I’d be filling that requisition for your wood chipper right now.
incontrolados
Michael Medved is going to be pissed since he took credit for that today.
I’m a little bummed—Hewitt isn’t on the air today—he’s got Mark Stein in subbing for him. Stein’s first guest? Dean Barnett! And later, Rich Lowry, J-Pod, and Jonah Goldberg—who will have a book out any day!
Even some like me, who is immune to the wingnut—I might have to turn it off.
incontrolados
OMG —Mark Stein wants to ‘muss’ Mitt’s! hair up a bit because, ya know, Mitt! looks a little too presidential at times . . .
Zifnab
Ye gods. Just get these people a room already. Or at least designate them a bathroom in Minnesota. Is it physically possible for these people to come off with a higher degree of PDA?
AkaDad
Filed under: I Read These Mormons So You Don’t Have To.
4tehlulz
Don’t worry about that with Mitt. He’s all about cash. The last time I checked, Mormons didn’t approve of selling liquor on Sunday or expanding lotteries, which Romney has done in MA.
myiq2xu
I think he mean analist. As in butt-kisser.
jnfr
I suspect there’s a lot of truth to this statement.
Ted
I wasn’t talking about that. It’s always fun to make fun of religions. What I was talking about is one bible-thumper telling another, slightly different bible-thumper that their religion is “heretical”. It’s bigoted, even if it’s also hilarious to observe.
incontrolados
They are trying to connect up Romney with both Reagan and JFK.
Reagan = card reader aka great communicator
JKF = goal that republicans think they can reach with Reagan worship.
Romney = both?
The math is simple.
(Sorry the ass’ name is spelled Steyn)
Cain
God seems to have His priorities messed up. Apparently, Huckabee is more important than Georgia. Shouldn’t He be answering the governor’s request for rain instead? If I was the governor I would be outraged.
cain
Chad N. Freude
I haven’t read through all of the comments, but I don’t think anyone has mentioned the second paragraph of Hewitt’s orgasmic response to Romney’s speech:
Unqualifiedly good, as in the unqualified good we have brought to Iraq.
Repeatedly saving the world from evil like we did in Vietnam and … rebuild[ing] it without demands for territory or treasure or oil or exclusive rights to profitable business.
The only limitation on our perfection is the inability to do anything wrong (because of our Judaeo-Christian-only faith).
Chad N. Freude
Re
I must have been out the day that was covered in my PoliSci and American History courses.
Chad N. Freude
And in the third paragraph (this is obviously a typo, but it’s hilarious):
Yes, it turned them into Gypsies.
PaulW
I got a question: when will a politician develop the balls to stand up and say “Suck it, Christians! Next one of you whines about this being a godly nation, I’m gonna pass a law making us all Buddhists!”
Delia
Well, way back when I was in high school I learned that America was a godly nation that had never lost a war because God was our side or we were on God’s side or something. Of course, I went to high school in Utah, so I felt free to skip Mitty’s speech, since it’s probably still pounding around in my lizard brain somewhere. Anyhow, I went to high school during the Vietnam War, so I’m not sure how the whole victory thing came out. Maybe we declared victory and left. Personally, I think God finally got fed up with us for being a bunch of arrogant dolts who didn’t know when to leave other folks alone, so now she’s sticking us with a lot of no good Gooper idiots who can’t talk their ways out of paper bags and are busy trashing the country until there’s nothing left.
The Other Steve
Ok, I listened to Romney’s speech.
JFK was much better.
incontrolados
I don’t generally have a problem with the Christians (my family are all at least sort of there—so I’m not waiting for the God to finally get out of politics.
Minimum I’m hoping for is that people vote on policy. (Even though I know that’s complicated.)
Wait, no, minimum, Hugh’s guy goes down in flames. Yeah, that will do it for me in the short term.
Cindrella Ferret
Seagulls!
grumpy realist
Gaaah…after reading Hugh’s second paragraph, I want to beat his brains out with a copy of Thomas Paine.
Beej
What word was missing from Mitty’s speech? Mormon. He only used it once.
Johnny Pez
Yes.
SATSQ
jake
Tolerance?
STEVEinSC
A question for Mitt:
Let’s see, Mormonism is built on Christianity, which in turn is built on Judaism.
Jewish god= Their god allows 6 million to be killed without intervention.
Christians= Their god is supposed to call for thousands of co-religionists burned at the stake, hundreds of thousands killed in crusades and fratricidal holy wars.
Mormons= (New guys in the con game) Their god demands blood atonement and hundreds of Christians are murdered at Mountain Meadows.
Yeah, we really want to be guided by people of religion with their belief in god? (How have we regressed so far since the Founding Fathers?)
r€nato
no way! Jesus came before everything!
/the view
quickdraw
Cain?
As in curse of? He probably wants to play down that particular LDS tenet.
August J. Pollak
Shorter Hugh Hewitt:
Mitt Romney’s balls are delicious.
Rich
Mormons require a blood atonement?
I’m completely offended at such blatant ignorance! I am Mormon and we consider this idea completely apostate. It was an issue among a group of people in the early days of the church that were excommunicated and and severely denounced for advocating this practice.
Stop perpetuating such excruciating ignorance about the LDS Church.
quickdraw
Did somebody say ignorance?
skip
NYRB has recent article suggesting that some Mormon “seeding” practices are currently finding favor among zealots in the West Bank.
Is that a form of perpetuating ignorance as well? My ancestors in Iowa, near Nauvoo, kept diaries.
J sub D
Fuck off, bigoted asshole.
Ahem. If you haven’t noticed, ALL RELIGIONS were started by heretics. Jesus was a heritical Jew, Martin Luther was a heretical catholic, David Koresh was a heretical Seventh Day Adventist, etc.
Am I a bigot for pointing out the obvious?