15
Sep
Help Is On The Way
In what can be fairly described as the greatest development in the 2008 election campaign, Alan Keyes is signaling that he is going to jump into the race.
Blogging just got easier.
Obligatory caution that this is WND doing the reporting.
wasabi gasp
Not black enough.
Jinchi
Just in time for the family values debate! That should be fun.
Tom Hilton
If only we could have Obama and Keyes as the nominees, for a re-match of Illinois 2004. That would be the Best Election Ever.
Dennis-SGMM
Great stuff! The Republicans’ deep bench is bound to produce more prodigies before this is over. I’m all for a run by Barbara “First Mother” Bush: she has “White House experience” and her picture is on the dollar bill.
ThymeZone
Well, if the lunatics are getting in, I guess Nader will be along shortly.
Good god. Can’t we have a rule that every n years we get a whole new crop of politicians? 300 million people and we cant do better than Candidate Alan Keyes?
Mary
Ah. Obama and Keyes 2004 and the first hard numbers supporting the crazification factor.
Davis X. Machina
When Keyes’ short-lived “Alan Keyes Is Making Sense!” show was on MSNBC, did anyone approach the FTC to complain?
Isn’t it true, even under the old common law, never mind modern consumer legislation, that if you label a product “X”—say a flea powder—a consumer has a reasonable expectation that it will so perform, i.e. kill fleas?
JPL
Huh. Crazification Factor 27%.
Bush's approval rating, as joked about by the blagotubes 28%.
Myth: Confirmed
MNPundit
I hope he sings Over the Rainbow again! It was a beautiful rendition and I congratulate the GOP on getting a candidate that can actually sing.
jake
I know this is wrong and unserious of me, but: Mwahahaahaa! Yippee!
John, are you going to watch the Values Voters debate and report back to us?
Chuck Butcher
I suppose a person can only hope this is true, the crazier the better…
Dug Jay
At long last, some information on how he really earns his bread, as well as pictures of our host.
Quiddity
In a reunion sketch on SNL, Hans and Franz talk about what happened in the intervening years. If memory serves, one brief item mentioned (with a picture) was that the duo were were supporters of Alan Keyes.
MNPundit
http://www.ifilm.com/video/264.....ID_2648480
Found it! Not that he sings that WELL but he is far better than Ashcroft.
jpe
WND caution can probably be disregarded; Keyes probably rang them up and told them. He is, after all, the WND candidate.
Alan
Mock all you want, but Alan Keyes is the embodiment of the perfect conservative candidate…as defined by our popular conservative pundits (Rush, Hannity, Malkin, Ingraham, etc.). He’s got the right blend of religion and politics. He was one of the first on the southern border stoking the flames of bigotry toward mexicans. He knows better than anyone how to etch out a living on conservative outrage. He is God’s candidate.
Gary Farber
“Blogging just got easier.”
So think one beelion bloggers.
Bruce Moomaw
He may be God’s Candidate, but Obama beat him 72-28, which seems to indicate Satanist leanings on the part of Illinois. God, I hope he elbows his way into the televised debates. We need more entertainment value in this campaign. (As for Nader, he’s already indicated that he’ll probably run.)
The Sanity Inspector
Those pesky elections laws against dead people running kept them from sending up Harold Stassen, I guess.
The Other Steve
WHOO HOO! The Debates are gonna be fun!
mrmobi
Actually, outside of Chicago, Illinois is pretty mainstream. Here in Chicago, we’re mostly Satanists. Why else would our motto be: “Chicago – where the weak are killed and eaten?”
Punchy
Why? Is Test a troll?
TenguPhule
Proof that God, if she exists, is an evil bitch with eternal PMS.
What did we do to deserve this campaign season starting 4 months early?
Chuck Butcher
‘do to deserve it’??? You didn’t vote for Keyes when you had the chance?
srv
AQ fed up with delays for Freedom Tower
Is it just me, or does The Onion seem to be more real than what we get from Fox?
Anne Laurie
I see Keyes and Nader running together, proud co-founders of the “Screw Realism, Stay Pure Party” (“Finally, a home for those who will never be happy with the compromises required in a two-party system!”). The new party will siphon just enough votes, between the far-fringe leftists, the far-fringe rightists, the senile, the otherwise differently sane, and the incorrigible ‘ironists’ who learned everything they know about politics from South Park and the Simpsons, to enable Dick Cheney to steal a narrow electoral margin for his “October 2008” surprise candidacy.
Sure, now you can laugh at me. Enjoy it while you can, because Cheney’s new AG is already writing the legislation to have satire declared illegal. Or unnecessary. Or maybe just impossible…
ViVeLaMe
JPL and others:
You may not be aware of that, but Alan Keyes was the basis for the calculation of the crazification factor (27%).
ViVeLaMe
woops, missed Mary’s comment :)
John Cole
Yes.
The IP was from Hughes Networks in germantown, MD.
jake
If this isn’t on a t-shirt it damn well ought to be.
Mike
Yeah, Ambrose Bierce knew that.
AkaDad
Alan Keys: Clean and Articulate
Surabaya Stew
Well, now the 2008 race is official; every political cycle needs at least 1 good Quack! Ron Paul makes too much sense sometimes to take upon that honor; we can all be confident that Alan Keys will be up to the task of speaking total nonsense and having everyone else politely ignoring him.
Mike
You can’t say it better than Josh Marshall did:
grumpy realist
Ah yes, the candidate for the “my daughter told me she was a lesbian so I kicked her out of the house” party.
Yup, absolutely enlightening to see where those “Family Values” supporters end up….
DougJ
You may not like Alan Keyes, but he’s a serious person. You can’t deny that.
craigie
I deny it.
Grumpy Code Monkey
Seriously nuts.
Zifnab
He doesn’t like lesbians.
Clearly he’s toe-tapping with Larry.
Jake
It’s official.
Keyes/Tancredo ‘08!
jenniebee
It amazed me in 2000, with the R’s going so nuts at the idea that Dems might – shudder – support McCain, and the spin that was put on that support (that it was an amazing, organized subversive black ops op to shanghai the R nominating process in favor of a weak candidate) that it never occurred to the people who actually believed that Dems could be that organized that the primo candidate to operate a fifth-column of support for was Keyes, not McCain.
Chuck Butcher
Really, Keyes entry ought to make the Republicans entertaining, I admit there’s a certain appeal in watching them all gang up on R Paul, but the draw back is that he’s serious and they’re only semi-loony, Keyes can take this to new heights, he’ll make the rest look respectable while going lala land on Paul, which should elevate him, he can do Thompson, Tancredo, et al’s dirty work on Rudy. Where the rest will have to scramble to in order to profit and differeniate should prove engrossing. No, I won’t watch a minute of it…