I won’t miss him:
The Rev. Jerry Falwell has died, a Liberty University executive said Tuesday. He was 73.
Earlier, the executive said Falwell was hospitalized in “gravely serious” condition after being found unconscious in his office.
Ron Godwin, the executive vice president of Falwell’s Liberty University, said Falwell was found unresponsive around 10:45 a.m. and taken to Lynchburg General Hospital. Godwin said he was not sure what caused the collapse, but “he has a history of heart challenges.”
“I had breakfast with him, and he was fine at breakfast,” Godwin said. “He went to his office, I went to mine and they found him unresponsive.”
I have a number of nasty things I would like to say about this fellow and the damage I think he has done to our discourse and our politics, but now is not the time. A man is dead, let’s keep it respectable here and in the comments.
*** Update ****
Zombie Santa Claus
If you can’t find anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
That’s all I have to say about Jerry Falwell right now.
Mr Furious
Will Fred Phelps & Co. “attend” the funeral? This is the one instance where I hope so.
I anxiously await the Republican ass-kiss tribute-fest for Falwell, and the candidates jockey for support from his follwers.
That’s as classy as I can keep it, so I’ll wrap it there.
sglover
I lack your charity. My reaction is, it’s 50 years late, but good riddance all the same.
Lance
Boo-hoo… I’ll be sure to send a big bouquet of Teletubby balloons to the hospital. Right after I pop a cork.
ThymeZone
I’ll do better than Falwell would do under the circumstances: I will NOT claim that God took him because He was fed up with him.
Bubblegum Tate
You beat me to it.
amutara
you all are terrible people. He is a man, a man that tried. This is more than we can say of most influential people. Would you all like to be criticized like that just because of what you believed and fought for? There are people hurting out here (family and friends of Dr. Fallwell) and if any of you were civil beings, you would focus on that then your personal agenda. Think about that the next time someone passes away. terrible…
Andrew
I really don’t believe this “now is not the time” business. Dead is dead. Truth is truth. But… if the instructions on this site are to “respect” someone like Falwell, then I will have to end my post right here.
Ron
I can not support any TV preachers. I hate the way they ask for money in their $2000 suits, uhhh.
But in the same way I can’t understand how some people revil in the death of others.
CaseyL
There are a few tens of thousands of AIDS victims waiting to make sure Falwell goes where he belongs.
Edmund Dantes
Sums it up.
PeterJ
silence
Mike
I’m ecstatic that he is dead. He was a nasty, hate-filled bigot. My only regret is that his death was, most likely, painless. Too bad he didn’t take Dobson, Robertson, Perkins and the rest of his ilk with him.
He will rot in the ground because, contrary to his belief, that’s the only place he’s going.
John Cole
I understand some of you are having a hard time holding your tongue. This, however, is what I want to avoid.
You all are better than that. And the thing that people need to remember is that despite what we may think of him, a number of people are grieving. If you can’t muster the sympathy to behave decently for their sake, well, I got nothing.
Andrew
I am going to be 100 times more respectful of Falwell than he ever was to millions of my fellow Americans:
Fuck him. I’m glad that asshole is gone.
That’s all the respect he deserves.
Andrew
And I’ll save my rather finite capacity for respect for deserving people like 1st Lt. Andrew J. Bacevich.
Ted
Is it ungracious that my first thought was, “I wonder how many Republican presidential candidates will be at his funeral?”
amutara
very mature, very mature.
Ted
Falwell made my personal life and the personal lives of millions HIS “personal agenda” when all they wanted was to be left alone.
Mike S
I don’t celebrate the death of my opponents. That would make me no better than them. Instead I’m comforted by the fact that he will now know three things for sure. Whether there is a God. Whether Jesus was his son. And whether Jesus likes having his name used to spread hate.
My feeling is that he won’t like the answers to any of those questions.
jg
First time I ever heard of Falwell was in a Bloom County comic strip. Bloom County kicks ass.
CaseyL
I think my comment was very decent, all things considered.
When Jerry Ford died, I felt bad. I mourned him as a good man who who honestly did his best, and I disagreed with people who considered him Evil Manifest because he pardoned Nixon.
Falwell? Sorry. I’m not going to dance on his grave, but he has A LOT to answer for, and I don’t feel bad at all that he’s gone.
amutara
The point is, he believed in what he believed. If you believed different, that is your perrogative. If we aren’t allowed to believe what we want then what is the point of life? And if we are forced to just sit back and just believe, doing nothing about our beliefs, then again, whats the point? You never stood up for something you believed?
Shabbazz
The greatest thing you can wish upon your enemies is enlightenment. In that, I hope that Falwell’s life, like any man’s life, will serve as a positive example for the things that he did right as well as a negative example things he did wrong.
demimondian
One should always, and only, praise the dead, as they can not defend themselves. Here, then, is my praise of the late Reverend.
Until today, I never understood why Virgil urged Dante to increase the torments of the damned as he trekked through Hell. It always seemed like pointless cruelty to me, but, through his death, Rev. Falwell has taught me why Dante felt the way he did about the dead and damned.
PeterJ
Instead I’m comforted by the fact that he will now know three things for sure. Whether there is a God. Whether Jesus was his son. And whether Jesus likes having his name used to spread hate.
If there’s nothing, he won’t know anything…
Cyrus
Nothing at all.
Ted
The big difference is Falwell’s rhetorical victims weren’t trying to spur legislation against HIS beliefs, whatever they were. The man was a menace. A demogagic Stalin.
Sorry.
Joel
amutara, Falwell’s beliefs were wrong. Objectively, transcendentally wrong. Condoning his evil just because he was sincere about it doesn’t help anything.
Decided FenceSitter
He’s welcome to believe whatever he wants to believe. He is even welcome to perform whatever legal acts he wishes to perform to achieve his goals.
None that prevents me from believe that he was a small-minded, petty hateful man that if there is some sort of grand judgement in the hereafter, he’ll get exactly what he deserves. None of that does anything to the fact that I am welcome to believe that this earthly plane would be a happy place if he had been just a little more accepting and loving as Christ was, or if he had departed it much earlier.
His freedom to be an asshole does nothing to my freedom to call him one.
cleek
all death sucks.
Shabbazz
I dunno — just seems that hating a man for his hatred is kind of counter-productive.
Andrew
Unfortunately, Falwell thought it was his prerogative too.
amutara
Well I would honestly love to sit here and defend a man that can no longer defend himself, but I have to study for an exam that Jerry Fallwell himself made possible for me to take at his school. I have a mind of my own and I believe different things he does, but the fact remains that he did a lot for me and gave me chance as well as thousands of others. Have a good life, maybe when I hear about any of your deaths or people you respect I will again have a chance to defend a man that can’t defend himself.
HelenaMontana
I just don’t understand why a person’s death renders them immune from having nasty things said about them.
Mike S
Monica?
Andrew
Please practice your adverbs.
Ted
I don’t hate him. Just feel a bit of a reprieve now that he’s gone. The hate-siren of the religious right just got a little less blaring.
Perhaps. But he haunted the thoughts of millions of others as well.
Mike S
I’m not saying that it does. I just prefer not to join a group that contains Rush, Hannity, LGF and so many more of the hate filled right.
Bubblegum Tate
Well, it’s more about respect for the deceased person’s family/friends/loved ones than it is about the deceased person.
Also, what Mike S. said.
RS
if there is such a place as hell – it just got a little more crowded
grumpy realist
If Mr. Falwell had not spewed so much hatred towards people of different beliefs, religions, and lifestyles and tried to make discrimination against them legal, he could not be receiving the criticism written on this thread.
As you live, so shall you receive.
And that is the best I can wish for Mr. Falwell’s family–that they mourn the man in peace.
Pb
Great reasoning there, amutara, and I’m looking forward to your principled and logically consistent defense of Hitler as well. After all, the man held passionate beliefs, and he did something about them. If you believe different, that is your prerogative. But if he didn’t stand up for his beliefs, then what would be the point? Fortunately for you, he did.
As for Falwell:
I’ll echo those sentiments.
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
wayne
thousands of aids victims are probably smiling today. they don’t get to smile much.
The Other Steve
So it’s ok to force other people to believe what you believe?
Pb
Uh-oh, sounds like we might have a future US Attorney on our hands…
Paul Wartenberg
He had a history of ‘heart challenges’.
The challenge was actually finding his heart in the first place.
There. I’ve said my peace.
JWeidner
There’s standing up for what you believe, and then there’s trying to cram that belief down other people’s throats. I’ll give you one guess as to which sort Falwell was.
Dulcie
Best.Falwell.comment.ever
srv
Like all Christianists, they’re inconsistent to a fault. It’s their way.
nycmoderate
I must go along with the commenters who have said that a person’s death doesn’t make them immune from criticism. I feel exactly the same way about Jerry Falwell today that I did an hour ago: he was a vile, hateful man who felt it was his life’s mission to judge and condemn people he’d never met based on sterotype and ignorance. He taught bigotry and prejudice, proudly.
I refuse to give into the sentimental notion that dying means everyone else has to be nice. Should I be nice to Hitler because he’s dead? Does JFK’s death change the kind of President he was? And this does not just apply to public figures for me. Call me cold-hearted, but my grandfather’s death didn’t make him a nice guy.
Jerry Falwell is as much of a hateful figure in death as he was in life, and while I respect you, John, I will neither be nice nor hold my tongue merely because he’s no longer breathing.
As far as the suggestion that it’s out of respect for his family and those who loved him, no offense, but I call BS. No person who cherished that man cared what I thought when he was alive and there’s no reason for me to think they care now. As a matter of fact, the kinds of people who cherished that man would most likely prefer that I not only shut up but leave “their” pure Christian nation altogether.
SteveMD2
All he was interested in was money and power, and corrupting the message of Jesus life with his hatred of our gay citizens in their quest for acceptsnce and equality under the law.
Falwell was representative of the Christian right wing, which included the Criminal Bush, who has murdered 3400 of our soldiers in a war based on lies, ignorance, and arrogance. Falwell and his gang would, if allowed, morph into a Christian Taliban, and destroy this nation in the name of his God, whose name is “hate and greed”. It’s got very little to do with morality, and if anyone thinks it does, they should move to Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia, and see what religious morality becomes, or at least remember 9/11.
If there is a hell, may he burn in it forever. If there isn’t, well at least we are rid of him, and we can pray for the total disgrace of those of his ilk, who would destroy everyones religious freedom. It’s Celebration time, but we have a long way to go.
annie's granny
Exactly.
And tact aside, speaking ill of the dead is a particularly pointless bit of self-indulgence. If you were one of Falwell’s targets, then his death will mostly come as a relief. But kicking the corpse around doesn’t do anyone any good.
mr.ed
Jerry promised me his Rolls because I’m going to be left behind anyway. It’s a very very light red with matching latex interior. You probably don’t know about it. It’s been in the closet, er garage all these years. He just kept it to fondle, so it’s in rilly good shape. I might have to beat off Pat for it.
ThymeZone
Well, according to Falwell, God would kill us for believing certain things that Falwell did not approve of.
Maybe you should have preached your Live and Let Live idea to him, and not us?
Ooops, too late now.
Sorry.
Lee
Here is my 2cents on this.
For his soul’s sake I really hope either
1) He is right about God/religion.
2) We have a really forgiving God.
Right now he is finding out if one of those is correct.
Doubting Thomas
Yes, let’s show him the same respect we showed Saddam Hussein when he died…
Amutara: As a longtime (24 years) AIDS survivor, let me just say how hard it is to be respectful and garner sympathy for a man was lived his life gleefully expressing his disgust for me. Excuse me if I find it difficult to be sympathetic.
Also, what Pb said…
Rusty Shackleford
hey amutara
Go Cheney yourself.
Rome Again
He is dead, but his message lives on in the followers of his religion. God help us all.
Roy
“Hateful”, “Bigot”
Sounds familiar. A couple millenia ago another “hateful bigot” died – one that Falwell worshipped. The progressives then told him to save himself if he was who he said he was, and to stop forcing his ideas down their throats.
Truth? You can’t handle the truth.
caustics
I remember Rev. Falwell’s respect and sensitivity for Vince Foster’s family – and I’ll leave it at that.
RandyH
Let us pray.
And mourn for the family and friends of this prophetic man who was so obviously smited by The Lord for failing in his mission to eradicate the world of Ho-Mo-SEX-uuuals and brown people. A battle has been lost but the war will never end! Send in your contributions today to the 700 Club and show The Lord our will to continue the fight!
Now, shall we mourn over a nice glass of Campari?
That’s about as respectful as I can get. I am anxious to see how Crazy Pat and friends try to exploit this one for profit though.
srv
You’re right amutara, we should let him speak for himself:
Those are the real values of your institution. Good luck with all that hate.
rbl
As a Christian, I am not supposed to revel in the death of my enemies, so here goes trying to say something civil:
Jerry Falwell was a false prophet, a con man, and did more to hinder Christ’s message than any atheist ever could. In spite of this, I think that in being with God he is now profoundly releaved, knowing that God is a loving and forgiving God, not the petty, malicious one he had preached.
May those who are mourning his death be comforted, and may his message die with him.
Of course, if there is no God, then there is nothing to say except, ‘so it goes.’
Rome Again
He didn’t serve God, he served that other one, he just didn’t realize it.
Wilfred
Well, it’s more about respect for the deceased person’s family/friends/loved ones than it is about the deceased person
Somehow I don’t think they read this particular blog.
I might have to beat off Pat for it.
Um, what would Jerry say about that?
jg
Did he really call the Founding Fathers devils?
Tulkinghorn
Hear, Hear.
I see no reason to not speak honestly of the dead – you do discredit to them, to the rest of us, and to merciful god if you candy-coat the ugliness.
So in conclusion: we are deeply saddened an humbled by 1st Lt. Andrew J. Bacevich’s sacrifice. I am not sure if we as a country are worthy of it. I am certain Falwell was not worthy of it.
RSA
This is a time for rejoicing: Personal feelings of sadness aside, many feel a deep sense of satisfaction that Jerry Falwell has gone to an afterlife that he richly deserves.
Zifnab
I’m just happy he’s not sharing my planet anymore. Wherever he goes afterwards is between him and physics.
So, in tribute to Jerry Falwell, I would like to say Hail Physics.
Tsulagi
I’d go with that.
It doesn’t. But out of respect for any decent people who may now miss him, I’ll give it a little time before “asshole” and “Falwell” appear close together in one of my sentences. At least a week, after my previous sentence.
Tom
Fuck Jerry F. Fuck the Christian Right. They all will burn in hell for doing the exact opposite of what Jesus preached. I am glad this POS is dead. I just wish I could have seen the look on his face when God tells him he has been wrong for his entire life. Goodbye loser.
Faux News
I hope Rev. Fred Phelps from Kansas shows up at Falwell’s funeral with his signs saying “Falwwell Burns in Hell”.
Z
I for one hope the Hindus are right. I hope you do reincarnate in many forms through many lives until you finally are wise. In Falwell’s case, he had a number of glaring blindspots toward people of other faiths, sexual orientations, and the like. It would be divine justice if, in his next life, he became a homosexual or a secular Muslim. Then he would finally understand our shared humanity. Falwell many times made me furious, particularly with his comments after 9/11, but I can’t hate him. It’s sad. Here is a guy who spent most of his life angrily targeting, persecuting, and railing against people he may have actually grown to respect and love if his fanatic beliefs hadn’t rendered him incapable.
ImJohnGalt
Look, I see your point about kicking the corpse, but I think it’s entirely appropriate for people to come forward over the next few days to remind people what a hateful, hubristic bible-thumper he was. We’re going to be reading the press’ and the right-wing morons’ hagiographies of the man, and all the horrible, unchristian things he said and did will be swept under the rug.
A man like that needs to be spoken of truthfully, not reverently.
gus
I could really give a fat fuck what a weaselzippers blogger thinks of me. Just like I’m sure Jerry Falwell could give a fat fuck what I think of his dead evil fat ass.
grumpy realist
Who was it who came up with that whole “de mortuis nihil nisi bonum” stuff anyway? Cicero?
Guess it beats digging the corpse up out of the grave and tossing it to rabid hyenas, which is the standard alternative.
Jimmie
Hey, he’s one of the leaders of the America Taliban, right? Might as well throw your party.
Rome Again
Exactly, why are we supposed to respect a member of the American Talaban?
Zombie Santa Claus
Spoof? You can’t handle the spoof.
Vlad
Here’s hoping, for Jerry’s sake, that God is a lot more forgiving than Falwell ever portrayed him as being.
Kevin K.
I really liked his ice cream. I hope Ben doesn’t die.
Zombie Santa Claus
I hope it’s not considered in any way disrespectful of the recently departed if I mention that it’s nice that they’ve apparently given all the tadpole Taliban at Liberty College the day off to defend Jerry Falwell on the Intertrons.
YellowJournalism
Watching “The People Versus Larry Flint” will never be the same again.
Formerly Wu
Deserving or not, every single person in this thread will be in the same place as Falwell someday. Some sooner, some later.
That is the essence of respect for the dead. Awareness that we are all mortal, regardless of our deeds or views.
The man was vile enough in life. Let him have his death.
Zombie Santa Claus
Hard to believe that Larry Flynt outlasted him isn’t it?
Zombie Santa Claus
Exactly.
Circe
for those defending Falwell with ‘he just did what he believed in’…
Falwell ardently believed in NOT respecting people:
-supported apartheid in the 80’s (didn’t wear spandex though)
-said the anitchrist will come, and necessarily be a Jew
-said “AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals.”
-said “I do not believe that God answers the prayer of any unredeemed Gentile or Jew.”
-said “God hates homosexuality”
-blamed 9/11 on feminists and homosexuals
YellowJournalism
Probably one of Falwell’s last thoughts.
Rusty Shackleford
I love you, Zombie Santa Claus.
Zombie Santa Claus
I wonder what Larry Flynt thinks of all this.
The Other Steve
I pray that God will forgive him.
Triumph
Jerry Falwell was a great man
Zifnab
Good. When I see, I’ll get to give him a piece of my mind. Or spirit. Or ectoplasm. Or metaphysical super-substance. Or whatever.
Triumph
….for me to poop on!!!!!
PeterJ
Well, since a lot of them were unitarians… With his views I wouldn’t be suprised if he did…
Zombie Santa Claus
I’d reciprocate, but Mrs. Claus reads this blog sometimes. I don’t need any more frying pan blows to the skull. Those are twice as dangerous to those who’ve joined the ranks of the undead. (A fate I would most certainly not wish on Falwell; I would never even consider spoofing as “Zombie Jerry Falwell”, certainly not for at least a couple weeks. Shit, you can’t even rise from the dead for at least 24 hours.)
Jake
He didn’t give a shit what people said about him while he lived, he doesn’t give a shit now.
Although a Jewish carpenter might be giving him a hard time as I type this.
As for his nearest and dearest and their feelings, you know what? They aren’t reading this. And if by some chance they drop into the internons and see people rejoicing because there is one less cretin on the planet telling them they are evil, maybe it will make them think. Gee, Dad or Grand-dad or Uncle Jerry sure upset a lot of people. Maybe they’ll decide not to carry on Jerry’s “work.” Maybe they’ll turn their efforts towards more constructive and enlightened activities that are aimed at making the world a better place rather than whatever the hell Jerry was trying to do to it.
Or maybe they’ll get into an unseemly and very public brawl over the estate.
annie's granny
True enough. But assuming that at least part of the point of that is to prevent or temper the expected attempts at canonization, some of the truth-speakers need to tamp down the glee a wee bit. Otherwise “speaking the truth” sounds an awful lot like gloating, and is liable to achieve the opposite of the intended effect.
sglover
He believed in medievil dogma, and in pursuit of that he wanted to inflict scorn and pain on millions. But he was “sincere”, yeah. Super.
Zombie Santa Claus
Unitarians are worse than devils. They’re terrorist enabling, Muslim-hugging, tree-hugging jihadists who’d like nothing better than to sing “Kumbaya” with notorious America-haters like Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Margaret Sanger, that one Canuckistani dude who used to be on SNL, and Cindy Sheehan.
Satan only tricked a couple people into denuding a tree of fruit, but Sanger founded Planned Parenthood and Cindy Sheehan once criticized George Bush. If that’s not the face of pure evil, I don’t know what is.
rbl
I once had the pleasure of running across comemerative bicentenial bible published by Falwell (either of America or just the constitution, I don’t recall which.) It included notes on how the founding fathers were affected by their Christian Faith(TM) and not supprisingly, the rampant Deism was rather, well, glossed over.
Mr Furious
Shorter John: I covered my ass. Now, unleash the hounds…
Dreggas
Halo 3 beta included Cheney shotgun medal: Developing…
Headline over at Rawstory, no story yet…
grumpy realist
May I also point out that those who flew the planes into the Twin Towers also were “sincere” and “stood up for what they believed in”?
Belief doesn’t sanctify anything.
rbl
Amen. Sincerity is not an excuse for evil.
Circe
sometimes I hate science, just like Jerry did all the time
according to quantum mechanics, the particles that comprise said cadaver have, unlike the corpulent carcass, memory, which in theory, allows us to, gulp, recreate a, um, masterpiece…
jrg
I think Falwell will find out a few more things… like if St Peter is gay, if God uses disease and catastrophe as a test of compassion, or if God considers Falwell’s demise “suicide by Little Debbie”, thus voiding any implied contract.
Focus On Your Own Damn Family!
One more fountain of hate gone. Good riddance.
John Spragge
I pray for the repose of his soul, the comfort of those who loved him, and that the good he did or tried to do will live on, while his errors will fade.
Peace.
Sirkowski
Farewell, sweet prince…
lard lad
“Every man who professes to be a man of God and owns more than one suit is a hustler, so long as there are people in the world who don’t have any suit at all.”
–Lenny Bruce–
lard lad
While I’m slinging quotations around, here’s one from H.L. Mencken who, were he still among us, would be better suited than any to write a suitably caustic epitaph for Falwell.
From “A Bum’s Christmas,” 1948
p.lukasiak
God has finally chosen to lance the infected boil on the asshole of Christianity.
capelza
Jerry Falwell is dead…looks around for some spare compassion…checks pockets, the bottom of my purse…nope, none to spare.
Detlef
Sick, sick, sick.
Assuming that´s really part of his 1987 autobiography, “Strength for the Journey”, that guy urgently needed some counseling as a kid.
Which sane person would include that in an autobiography?
les
In his own life, Falwell dispensed intolerance, bigotry and defamation to any he wanted, living or dead; he practiced deceit, hatred and greed. Why a man so unconcerned with respect for his fellows deserves, solely by reason of dying, temperance and respect is beyond me.
canuckistani
When can we get our hate on? I’ll give him and his family 24 hours out of decency, and then the gloves come off. The man leaves a legacy that needs to be taken apart with a chainsaw.
Zombie Santa Claus
A diehard foe of the Canuckistani extremists, that’s who.
The War On Christmas has lost one of its greatest crusaders. My elves are being slaughtered by brutal paramilitary gangs of secular humanists, my reindeer were wiped out in a Canadian mortar attack, and for all I know Mrs. Claus got et by a rabid polar bear or bludgeoned to death by lovestruck snowmen.
Jerry Falwell was the only man who cared about all this, and now he is dead. Set the Toy Shoppe flag at half mast, Legolas!
capelza
Well, wherever the great eternal hereafter is…Mr. Falwell is going to have to spend it with Madlyn Murray O’Hare…
Zombie Santa Claus
Spoken like a true Canuckistani. How many elves did you murder today, you Christmas-hating bastard? Gloat all you want about the great warrior Falwell’s passage; Falwell will rise again, and TWOC shall be won by the invisible elven ninjas who manufacture GI Joes and Transformers for Jesus, not the tree-hugging “Kumbaya” singers who shoot down innocent flying reindeer.
Jake
Bordered on cruelty? Shit, if killing a pet and serving it to the owner as a “joke” borders on cruelty, what constitutes actual cruelty?
Zombie Santa Claus
Letting gay people get married.
Ho ho ho, bitches!
The Disenfranchised Voter
Be respectful?
Oh fuck that mother fucker Falwell!
I don’t give a shit. I’ll gladly say I’m happy the SOB is dead. If you were a piece of shit throughout your life, you deserve no respect as far as I’m concerned.
Anyways I’m off to level my mage…
Krista
I can only hope that, in the final balance of things, he helped more people than he harmed.
I’m doubtful, however.
Zombie Santa Claus
Why don’t we hear about all the people he didn’t harm? There must be at least a couple billion of them, yet all you moonbats can do is whine and whine about a couple hundred million Americans. Well, I doubt that Jerry Falwell harmed a single resident of Uruguay, ever, so put that in your smoke and pipe it!
jg
If you’re so smart why are you dead?
capelza
“In December of 1995 in Montevideo, Uruguay, Falwell spoke at a conference sponsored by Moon’s Inter Religious Federation for World Peace and Washington …”
Dreggas
I got 9 great recipes for venison…
Ho Ho Ho Fat Ass!
LOL
Otto Man
Actually, Falwell went to Uruguay in 1995, to meet with Rev. Sun Yung Moon in an effort to get Moonie money to bail out his businesses. Given his inability to take a breath without offending someone, I’m sure he made at least one enemy during his stay there.
The Disenfranchised Voter
Hahahahahaha.
In his last interview, a week ago, he said he was asking god for another twenty years to see his university through.
He didn’t even get twenty days!
PRAISE THE LORD!
Zombie Santa Claus
I’m undead, tough guy, and I think that answers your question for ya.
Zombie Santa Claus
Fuck! Well, okay, what about Yemen? Burkina Faso? Tuvalu? That one island where Tom Hanks lived in the movie “Castaway”? Gilligan’s Island? There’s gotta be a couple countries out there where Falwell didn’t hurt anyone.
Zombie Santa Claus
No no no! You evil bastard.
If Jerry Falwell does come back as a zombie, I hope he sucks the marrow right out of your bones and the brains right off you spinal cord. Serve you right, for joking about poor Blitzen’s death like that.
Zombie Santa Claus
Yeah, but isn’t a week like, 25 years in housefly years?
The Lord moves in mysterious ways. He uses a different calendar sometimes, too.
Dreggas
Fuck Blitzen you over-commercialized walking goiter, I ate rudolph first, nothing like the venison equivalent of Veal!
Dreggas
this is of course all said in gest LOL.
Dreggas
well…all but the part about young deer being the equivalent of veal….extremely tasty and tender.
Zombie Santa Claus
Joke’s on you, tough guy! What do you think made that nose so red and shiny? Rudolph was so high on turpentine, anti-freeze, mercury, and paint thinner he couldn’t even see! Might as well chow down on a couple thermometers and a jar of WD-40 for dessert! Chase it with some bleach and some Drano. You’re a fucking goner!
Ho ho ho, bitch!
Zombie Santa Claus
Zombie Jerry Falwell is coming for your sacrilegious ass.
Dreggas
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! I was wondering why I started glowing in the dark.
Dreggas
You forgot irreverent, psychotic, maniacal, perverted, sadistic…and so many other adjectives!
Zombie Santa Claus
That’ll make it that much harder to hide from the zombies. If I were you, I’d invest in a precision bolt-action rifle, like a Lee-Enfield or that shitty one the Germna snipers used to use back in the World Wars.
It’s the only thing that can save you from Jerry Falwell.
RSA
How about math? Wait just a few years, and don’t hold your breath.
Zombie Santa Claus
It just occurred to me that John probably wouldn’t think all this talk of Zombie Jerry Falwell gnawing your legs off to avenge the cooking death of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is the most respectful tone we could adopt.
Still, if he bans us for it tomorrow it was more than worth it! I’ll swap IPs, come back in 2 weeks as Zombie Jerry Falwell, and eat the brains of every gay man in sight!
I ain’t gay, bitches!
AkaDad
I think I should say something positive on Jerry’s behalf.
His Estate Taxes can help pay off teh Debt™.
Dreggas
Oh I got somethin better than that for his equally rotund posterior, either My Leetle Friend here or I’ll just go all doom on his sorry ass with a BFG!
Ho Ho Boom, Bitch!
Dreggas
Very true but at the same time this is funny shit!
Zombie Santa Claus
Tony Montana used an M16A2, if memory serves. (Then again, my brain’s being gnawed on by worms as we speak.)
We get very little gratitude for all the humor we spread around on this blog. Honestly, a comedian could dredge up enough shit on a week’s worth of these threads to keep his whole comedy show alive for a night. America’s blogs are a vital natural resource for future comedians, and we must do everything in our power to preserve them from Big Humor’s attempt to siphon all the good material out of them in one go.
That’s what Zombie Robert Redford would say, if he were dead and questioned by reporters.
Bill
I didn’t agree with a lot that Falwell said and done (so I am not defending him). But I don’t think reveling, like some are doing, in his death is appropriate. It certainly doesn’t give them the moral high ground. How does it make them any better than the Westboro Baptist bunch and what they did at Matthew Shepard’s funeral? I appreciate your level of discourse and your tact and appropriateness. I wish more people out there would exercise the same amount of class.
Tulkinghorn
Look you zombies, did’nja hear what John said?
Howabout some repectful-like discussion, like this?
Zombie Santa Claus
With that, I’m out. I don’t want any trouble from Zombie Falwell or his buddy, Cyborg Bob Dole.
Ho ho ho, bitches!
Andrew
I understand. It was zombie college. It was a confusing time in your life. The Zombie Fellowship of Christian Athletes was led by this totally handsome blond corpse who seemed so masculine and dead. You thought there would be other zombies at the potluck dinner he invited you to, but no, there was only juju wine and a raspberry/brain frapee, along with his delicious semi-clothed and rotting body.
As he shambled close to you, you said, “Muannnahbrainsssssssss…” (“But this feel so wrong!”) and he merely nodded, taking your listing head into his arms, popping your eyeball back into place, and kissing you gently on the teeth (your lips had rotted off back in zombie high school).
You felt the power of Christ that night, what with the picture of Zombie Jerry Falwell he had taped to the ceiling of his dorm room. But just as you were about to scream out in the throes of gay zombie ecstasy, his lame ass hipster zombie roommate walked in, puked up some brain beer on the carpet, and spoiled everything. What an asshole.
Zombie Santa Claus
Huh? Wuzzat? Something about ninjas?
Get real, man. Everybody knows ninjas are imaginary. Cyborgs and zombies, they’re the ones you have to watch out for.
Captain Comeback
I said it after Strom Thurmond died, and I will say it again. Every time a bigot dies, and angel gets its wings.
Krista
Yup. Real difficult to mourn the man who’s spent all of his life preaching intolerance and hate in the name of God. And, I have no doubt that many of the right-wing blogs will use a few select leftie comments as proof of how unhinged, hateful and intolerant the lefties are.
Plus ça change…
Bubblegum Tate
And claim that all those lovely, hateful quotes from Falwell are being taken out of context, of course. Because, you see, Falwell hated gays, Jews, liberals, women, and minorities with context.
chopper
i’m imagining Zombie Jerry Falwell chowing down on matzohs made from the blood of christian children. now i’m realizing that i’m the worst jew ever.
sigh…
chopper
since when does ‘context’ mean ‘gusto’?
AkaDad
Ya think?
dlw32
I can’t honestly say I’m sorry Falwell is gone. That may say more about me than anything else (I guess Boo from Survivor would say I’m an “Immature Christian”). I sort of wish I could find some sense of sorrow, but this man has spent at least 20 years tearing my country apart with some of the most mean-spirited rhetoric. And using Jesus and God as cover.
And really folks, do you think this death will fix the abrasive soul-wrenching level of discourse? There legions of people waiting to step into the breach.
Anyway, I offer the following:
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we pray. Dear Heavenly Father, please take our fellow human, Jerry Falwell, into your care. May You in Your wisdom, enlighten him to the spirit of Your Son’s words. We ask You in Your infinite mercy to forgive him what he has done and said during his time on Earth even if we fail to forgive him. In the name of Your Son, Jesus, we ask these things.
Amen.
Andrew
Can we get a Republican debate thread, because I simply must make fun of Sen. Clownback’s ridiculous facial expressions.
floyd
I can see this bunch practices enough hate to consider themselves experts!
Andrew
I fucking hate idiots like floyd.
I mean love. I love you floyd. Love.
Just like Jesus.
canuckistani
Fuck you and the reindeer you rode in on, ZSC. We hate Jesus as much as we hate Christmas and America, and you’re all going down into the fiery maw of socialism and gay love.
Pirate
I heard he died of a bowel obstruction, meaning he died because he was literally too full of shit. That’s about the most apropos way to die that I could possibly think of.
jake
To honour Mr. Flawell, we practice what he preached.
Peter VE
I believe that the soul of Reverend Falwell is now in Heaven.
I have a slightly different view of Heaven than the late Reverend, however. He has now been blessed with perfect insight, so that he can actually understand the path of his life, and can reflect on it for Eternity.
The worst tortures are those you inflict on yourself.
louisms
Out of respect for John’s wishes, my condolences to Falwell’s family in their time of loss.
And I will resist the temptation to write anything further, as I can muster up nothing more of a positive nature to say on this matter.
Bruce Moomaw
I don’t know how you can keep it “respectful” when you’re talking about a man who was genuinely, honest-to-God evil. To steal a line from one of Edmund Crispin’s mystery novels: “We’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but if you don’t speak ill of Falwell there’s nothing to say about him whatsoever.”
rachel
Oh, my God that guy had a fucked-up childhood. I feel sick.
John S.
Jerry Falwell: Christian leader
He was neither a Christian, nor a leader.
Talk amongst yourselves.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
POTD.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
His father was worse. There, that’s something pleasant to say about Jerry Falwell, isn’t it?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Fuck you, too. Sanctimonious asshole.
Woe unto you, scribe and Pharisee, hypocrite!
Bob In Pacifica
If only Falwell had gone against The Wiggles instead of stopping at the Teletubbies…
sakthi
It is not a good part for us to comment someone not in the earth..He may be right in something,wrong in something and some may love him,some may hate him…So it is better to keep mum rather criticizing him.
AA Breakdown Cover
Dress Left
Rather than hide his hate and intolerance, he brought it forth and spread it to millions.
He will be remembered.
‘The worst part of Hell will be the incessant praying.’
Dreggas
I’ll Hate the Hater…
Otto Man
Yes, because if there’s one phrase that sums up Falwell’s life, it was certainly “judge not lest ye be judged.”
Lee
Link to Larry Flynt’s statement
That was about as classy a statement as I have seen in awhile.
Zombie Santa Claus
He promised he’d never tell! How’d you find out?
At least you’re honest about it, America-hater. I like you’re style. When my righteous Army of Elven crusaders sweeps the scourge of Godlessness from Canada, I’ll make sure they spare you for a forcible conversion to the Path of Our Lord, Jesus “Santa Claus is my Self-Appointed Godfather” Christ.
Yeah, that was pretty classy.
Bombadil
Hey, comments are up to triple digits and not a Darrell post in sight. Strange days, indeed.
PeterJ
Reading Flynt’s statement makes me wonder. If Flynt had died before Falwell, what kind of statement would have been released by Falwell?
PeterJ
Maybe the secret identity of Darell has finally been revealed?
Catsy
You all are better than that. And the thing that people need to remember is that despite what we may think of him, a number of people are grieving. If you can’t muster the sympathy to behave decently for their sake, well, I got nothing.
I like you, John, but this is utter nonsense. So some people are grieving. Forgive me for being blunt, but: so what? In the unlikely off-chance that someone who loved and respected Falwell would read the blog of someone who pulls no punches in their loathing of the American Taliban, why on earth would they read the comments section of a post on the man’s death that opens with “I won’t miss him”?
If they read beyond the fold, then they’re spoiling for a fight and going out of their way to find something to offend them. I don’t feel any obligation to moderate my tone to avoid offending someone that masochistic, and “decency” has nothing to do with it.
Falwell has been a blight on this nation and an embarassment to Christianity for over 30 years. Through a combination of racism, Taliban-style religious fundamentalism, and good old-fashioned omni directional bigotry, he devoted his life to setting back the causes of science, civil rights, religious freedom and human progress wherever possible. He built a media empire by appealing to ignorance and people’s base natures, and used the power of that empire to defraud the faithful and harm those who did not conform to his bitter, narrow, hateful view of God.
The nation, indeed the world, is better with him gone from it. And I’ve got no qualms about saying so, whether it’s the hour of his death or the year after.
Dreggas
Yeah this about sums it up
Catsy
I should note that I didn’t write that out of an urge to be mean and take posthumous cheap shots at a man who isn’t alive to defend himself. We are, as a culture, generally reluctance to piss on people’s graves, and for good reason–in most cases, it’s an act of petty spite over wrongs that do not weigh heavily in the balance of what a person has done in their life, and which people have long since put behind them. The unfortunate flip side of this is that we have a tendency to whitewash the lives of truly awful, malignant people, especially other Americans.
We saw this with the hagiographies that came from the right after the death of Ronald Reagan–an enthusiastic supporter of Nicaraguan terrorists, Saddam Hussein, and certain Islamic militants in Afghanistan, to name just a few of the evils he abetted while in office. We’re seeing it now again with Falwell.
There are times when it’s civil and appropriate to avoid speaking ill of the dead. This is not the case when speaking of racist bigots who’ve abused their power to cause terrible, lasting harm to the lives of millions. For those like Falwell we should insist on nothing less than the ugly, unvarnished truth.
ed
For those down thread, Rev. Fred Phelps will indeed be picketing Falwell’s funeral, according to a Westboro Baptist Church press release “>
Duane
It was gonna kill him anyway when Hillary got elected.
Dreggas
I so want that YouTubed.
Andrew
Hitchens, on a roll.
grumpy realist
Here’s Hitchens’ article for Slate:
http://www.slate.com/id/2166337/
Most of the time Hitchens does come across as the “drink-soaked ex-Trotskyite popinjay” Galloway called him, but when Hitch gets on certain topics, he really hits them out of the park.