April Fools
A day late, but I do have two April Fools for you- John McCain and Michael Ware.
First, McCain, who continues to make a total ass out of himself by stating Baghdad is the perfect place to go for a walk, and then stages a photo-op to prove it.
Except, of course, he fails to mention the flak jacket, the helicopters, and the troop escort that got him through that walk a few miles from the green zone unmolested. Personally, I will be doing my strolling stateside. This is akin to sleeping overnight on the White House lawn and claiming that “DC is so safe you can sleep in the open and no one will mess with you!”
Second, CNN Reporter Michael Ware, who, while right to call McCain on his bullshit, has now helped to make the story about him. Red State and others are in full on outrage mode. C’mon, Michael. Be smarter.
*** Update ***
Looks like the Ware incident is completely manufactured and I am the fool. Again.
By now, you would think I would know that the more updates a Red State post has the more full of shit it is.
Justin
As Michael Ware has been over there for the duration of the war, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Attaturk
No, actually DRUDGE helped create the BULLSHIT story which attempted to make the story about Michael Ware.
Honestly, how can you not be on to this method of operation from Drudge and his right-wing minions by now?
Mr Furious
John, your Red State link goes to Think Progress. A great video there, but no explanation of what you mean about Michael Ware. Got a link for that?
Jeez. If you watch that NBC/McCain clip, you have to wonder what the fuck that guy is smoking. OR, what does he think the rest of us are smoking?
He goes across the street from the Green Zone with an entire company of soldiers escorting him and air support from 5 choppers. He is wearing a bulletproof vest. He’s right, that exactly how I commuted to work today. Baghdad is safe!
From the same NBC report, casualties across the country were UP in March compared to either Feb or Jan, and the situation is worse everywhere except Baghdad. Oh, and six US soldiers died over the weekend. Not how I fucking spell “progress.”
Smitty
From RedState:
Ware said the things McCain mentioned as showing signs of progress are “no way a sign of the real progress of the surge, which the Senators should be talking about.” And his vocal emphasis was on the words “which” and “should.” Go see and listen for yourself. Start at 1:20 mark.
What this tells me is that Michael Ware thinks there were other signs that the surge is working and McCain and the administration should focus on those signs.
What?? That doesn’t say Ware thinks there are signs that show The Surge™ is working. It tells me that he thinks it’s not, and if the Administration focused on that as well (finding signs that it is working), they’d find nothing.
But why would RedState figure that out?
Mr Furious
Presumably, this is the Drudge “report.” I am taking the liberty of reprinting the entire thing to show what fucking vapid bullshit it is:
Exclusive
During a live press conference in Baghdad, Senators McCain and Graham were heckled by CNN reporter Michael Ware. An official at the press conference called Ware’s conduct “outrageous,” saying, “here you have two United States Senators in Bagdad giving first-hand reports while Ware is laughing and mocking their comments. I’ve never witnessed such disrespect. This guy is an activist not a reporter.”
Senators McCain and Graham flew into Iraq and drove into Baghdad, making stops at an open market and a joint Iraq/American military security outpost before appearing at the press conference.
This is not the first time Michael Ware has taken issue with Senator McCain’s comments about early progress in Iraq. Last week, after Senator McCain told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that he needed to catch up on the news coming out of Iraq, Michael Ware responded, saying:
“I don’t know what part of Neverland Senator McCain is talking about when he says we can go strolling in Baghdad.”
Michael Ware has also publicly expressed his views on the war last year in an interview with Bill Maher, saying, “I’ve been given a front-row ticket to watch this slow-motion train wreck … I try to stay as drunk for as long as possible while I’m here … In fact, I’m drinking now.”
Developing…
“Developing.” Is that Drudge for “Pulling out of my ass as we speak.” No links. No sources. No follow-up. Drudge’s “evidence?” Last week Ware callled McCain on his bullshit on CNN and cracked jokes on a comedy show?
Sorry. Ware’s had the balls to be on the front lines for four fucking years in Baghdad. He knows what the fuck he is talking about as opposed to fat-assed bloggers stateside and Senators who fly in for carefully orchestrated photo-ops.
Tim F.
Honestly, that Michael Ware nonsense is an instant candidate for the Purple Teardrop with Clutched Pearls award. It’s a bunch of nonsense cooked up to distract the April Fools.
Ellison, Ellensburg, Ellers, and Lambchop
DAMMIT! WHY DIDN’T THE IRAQI FREEDOM FIGHTERS KILL FILTH WHORE MCCAIN AND COCKSUCKER GRAHAM WHEN THEY HAD THE CHANCE
!! THEY’RE LUCKY THEY HAD U.S. MERCENARY KILLBOTS TO PROTECT THEIR SORRY WUSS ASSES!! THOSE NAZI FASCIST FUCKERS SHOULD BE COMING HOME IN BOXES FOR THEIR WAR CRIMES
ALLAH BLESS THE INSURGENTS WITH BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME
Love,
HuffPo/WaPo Sensitive Lefties
Motto: “More Moral Than You… You Fuckface BusHitler-fellator Homo”
Tim F.
Speaking of clutched pearls.
Baby Jane
Hey, it’s Kool-Aid Mustache Day.
Rome Again
Yeah, I saw that too!
numbskull
John,
Are you refering to the fictitious story that has Ware heckling Senator Straight Talk? If it’s not that, I’m at a loss for what you are writing about. Please, leave the cryptic referencing to Atrios.
You do know that the heckling story was made up, right?
Davebo
Guess we still have to include John in that group.
Seriously John, an unnamed admin official is the source for something allegedly outragous that happened in a live press conference?
Can’t imagine how none of the reporters assumably in the room missed it.
John Cole
Sure looks like I fell for it again.
Attaturk
Micheal Ware discusses this idiocy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSGc5Vkh_1g
Perry Como
Love,
HuffPo/WaPo Sensitive Lefties
And that’s why the Left can’t win elections. Oh, wait…
Paul Wartenberg
I think we all need to send Senator McCain a letter:
“Dear Senator:
I am thinking of visiting Iraq soon and especially making a visit to the tourist trap that is Baghdad.
If you could, please allow me to borrow your bulletproof apron, 100 troops on guard detail, and 5 attack helicopters so I can travel the streets of that city as safely as you have. I promise to bring these items back to you in the condition you give them to me.
Signed, a voter.
P.S.: You may not remember, but we met very briefly at the University of Florida graduation in May of 2003 I believe, and I shook your hand and mentioned I voted for you in 2000. I would like to inform you that given your current performance of immoral flip-flopping, sucking up, and outright dissembling, I can no longer give you any political or spiritual support. So there.”
ThymeZone
CNN is reporting that basically the effect of the surge is to move the violence away from where the surge is. Net effect, same violence, just different locations.
They are stating this in a relatively quiet, unremarkable fashion, but stating it, they are. On the air now as I speak.
Michael Ware reports right now, live.
“Al Qaeda is still getting its suicide bombings through.”
“McCain’s stroll was in an envelope of extraordinary security.”
“We have to accept that US commanders expected …. the displacement of violence (as opposed to abatement).”
Parenthesis, mine.
Alan
I saw the Ware story via Instapundit last night. Drudge made a claim without any details yet everyone on the right jumped all over it. Talk about pathetic.
Keith
Look for the Drudge portion to be mentioned during Hume’s Grapevine. Then, O’Reilly will mention it in his talking points to bolster the narrative of the anti-administration media. Then, prepare for a 10 minute segment staring down the barrel of Hannity’s index finger as he and Michelle Malkin express their disgust over the evil, un-American (hahahahaha) Michael Ware.
Perry Como
Didn’t the location of his press conference get shelled by mortar fire 30 minutes after they left?
Punchy
Well, Mr. Cole…you’re a Republican. It’s apparently in your genes to fall for bullshit….multiple times in many different forms.
Redleg
To add to what Keith said above, not only will Hannity and the rest of the rat-bastard brigade accuse Ware of treason, they will also use it as another example of liberals sidding with the enemy. So once again, they will tar every one of us liberals for the words of one person.
Bubblegum Tate
That just proves how victoriously victorious the surge is, moonbat! If only we could have unlimited time and resources, then we would be able to constatly shift the small security pocket all over Iraq, giving each Iraqi a shot at several hours of safety. Do you want to deny them their Jebus-allotted several hours of safety? Huh? Is that what you want to do, freedom hater?
Tsulagi
The Revenge of the Tards comedy never fails to deliver. In some ways I’d miss these guys.
First you have the maverick doing his best GWB imitation (he’s getting good at it) on the teevee telling people the hate-America MSM is either slow not getting it about current Iraq, or (implying) they’re willfully lying to them. Because, known truth, Petraeus tools around Baghdad in a convertible more concerned about the tunes playing in his ride than being the recipient of a lead q-tip cleaning out his ear wax. Only worry for Baghdadis is whether they have enough time in the day for multiple strolls in the park and marketplace bonding with their children. Known truth.
A reporter counters that fantasy making a “neverland” crack. Says your everyday American wouldn’t last 20 minutes outside the Green Zone. Known truth channelers just know McCain is right and the vile MSM is hiding the true reality on the ground. The perpetual-victim Depends crowd get bunched up at the injustice of it all.
To prove he and the 28%ers know their stuff, ‘ol straight talker takes one of those treasured, soul-cleansing strolls just like your everyday resident in New Detroit. With FIVE combat helos circling the glare coming off the top of his head. With a hundred or so heavily armed soldiers. Wearing a vest that I would guess had been checked against the lot numbers of failed body armor that got waivers. The pictures from that photo op cracked me up.
Later, McCain says that stroll was just what he was talking about days earlier when he said they were everyday occurrences enjoyed by all Baghdad residents. Does McCain know his target audience or what?
Otto Man
I’m thinking they call that site Red State because there’s so much drivel posted there for them to be embarrassed about.
ed
I fear the evidence is ever increasing that McCain is following Ronald Reagan down the sad road to Alzheimersville.
Tsulagi
Apparently you got that right. Now they have a whole new post on it because I guess updates just didn’t provide enough capacity for the brown stuff.
They watched the video you and others linked to. But, since it hasn’t yet been delivered via the known truth channels, they’re understandably suspicious….
There you have it. He didn’t categorically deny it fast enough. Proof there is likely still something there. Commenters there are on to that too. They’re smart. CNN is hiding the video. Can’t wait for them to think of asking Fox to supply their video of the presser to prove them right.
28%ers never fail to deliver.
The Other Steve
You should have known that based on the fact that redstate was in full manufactured outrage mode.
jcricket
The Wingnuttia universe is covered in black holes. You get too close, you get sucked in, and it’s impossible to get out. Thankfully, The Reality-based Universe isn’t subject to the gravitational pull of wingnuttia, so most of us can safely live over here and base our decisions on actual information (you know, like Iraq being less safe now than, oh, ever; or the fact that a growing majority of Americans do not support President Bush’s Iraq policies).
The people at Red State, Powerline, Malkin, Althouse, Instapundit (etc), on the other hand continually act like 12-year olds caught telling an obvious lie. Instead of fessing up, they simply tell bigger and bigger lies until the ridiculousness reaches an unsupportable level and they break down.
Everyone seems to know how this is going to turn out, it’s just that some are unwilling or unable to admit it. And when those people are “in charge”, we’re fucked.
jcricket
Oh, and notice in the comments to the RedState thread where someone asks a question and then the “call” is immediately for banning them.
Klassy.
PeterJ
I would be willing to help with this. But first, what is actually going to be sent to Iraq?
Are they going to send their servers? Perhaps they want to move them out of US jurisdiction?
Is it to send the owners and the commenters to help with surge? Obviously you’ll get that trip for free, so maybe it’s for their body armor?
Or are they just dying (pun intented) for a shopping trip ever since they saw those incredible bargains that Lindsey Graham got carpet shopping? (Local carpet shop ad: Our prices are EXPLOSIVE! Low prices on all our stock, it’s carpet BOMBING! ...Good thing I don’t write ads for a living…)
DougJ
Nice smear job on Ware, John.
You can the blogger out of the Republican party, but you can’t take the Republican party out of the blogger.
DougJ
I see you retracted it, John, but you’re an ass for believing it in the first place. Have the last six years taught you nothing?
Sorry to be a prick, but I think you need some tough love right about now.
Tsulagi
LOL. Current breathless top post at Red State from RS Insider, obviously deep in the know…
With a lot of links “backing” him up. Including one to himself that proves his point. RS Insider’s no fool, he knows just seeing linkies dazzle the 28%er.
Apparently one thing he missed in the first three evildoer blogs he linked, or maybe just doesn’t dispute, is that the Senate Republican caucus told Petraeus to essentially have it done by August or they’re cutting and running. Guess RS Insider has no problem with that.
But potential wholesale Republican cutting and running is not important, a blogger somewhere out there said to fire Petraeus if he met with a Republican caucus to discuss legislation. Proof positive the Democrats are worse.
Now they’re just phoning it in. Or they’re spoofing themselves.
ThymeZone
Put that way, even I’d support it :)
ConservativelyLiberal
I read RedNeckState just about every day as I am guaranteed a few good laughs in doing so. There are some real nutcases that hang out there, and some are outright racists. And they are treated with respect, but if you come in and say one wrong thing they come down on you in a heartbeat. What really makes me laugh is when their defenses are penetrated by a liberal. The regulars cry for ‘clean up on aisle…’, asking someone to come in and clean up the offensive words (usually the offense is truth and logic). It sounds like a kid yelling ‘Mommy, this kid called me names!!’.
Now they want to send two of their members to Iraq to report the ‘truth’ (cause after all, only they know the truth, not the MSM!) of all of the good stuff going on (you know, roses and candy for the soldiers, wine flowing in fountains, the streets paved in American $$$$ and so on. Well, while I do not wish death on anyone (I leave that job to Dick Cheney), I hope these two get a taste of the reality they so richly deserve.
One can only hope…
August J. Pollak - xoverboard.com
Why is RedState still allowed near scissors unsupervised?
RedState’s response to the completely fabricated Michael Ware story pushed out by Drudge is just… bizarre. Commenters in the thread are actually linking to the video proving the entire story was a lie and the moderators of the board are…
Around The Sphere April 3, 2007 | The Moderate Voice
[...] Read it to find out. Who Are The April Fools? John Cole has some candidates. (He left one out. The famous website that bloggers keep linking to that has been wrong on some key occasions in its original reports but seldom does a retraction. After someone doesn’t pan out the original post vanishes as if it was never up there. Which is why we look at it for its excellent constant updates on breaking news but hold off linking to it unless it’s now-it-can-be-told scoop is reconfirmed by mainstream media reports, versus blog linking). [...]
Mikef
Strangely, for all the commentary about the 3 Blackhawks and 2 gunships, none of the cameramen thought to pan out and take a picture. Now that would’ve been a memorable backdrop. Were they restricted, censored or simply team players.
HyperIon
“>this is interesting from Larry Johnson; no cite but something to ponder.
the comments were especially thought provoking.
HyperIon
hmm, the link looked ok in preview…
try again with the Johnson piece