Amateurs
So, who can post the most annoying music videos in recorded human history – Bradrocket? Atrios? The Editors?
Maybe. No doubt these guys have thrown down a formidable gauntlet. Admittedly I only have one pokemon card to pull out of my meager pop culture library, but it’s a doozy.
Sic ‘em, Shatner-chu.
***Update***
It looks like my Shatner-podong II blew up on the launchpad. Until dumbass me figures out the code here’s a link.
***Update 2***
Fixed.
***Update 3***
I can handle being dismissed by the big dogs, but this is intolerable.
I didn’t want to have to do this, I really didn’t. You folks have nobody to blame but yourselves.
Via Hilzoy, and apologies if this has been posted already.
***Update 4***
Blogslut’s efforts to disarm me with a flatteringly-imitative post title will not succeed. But regarding her video, holy living shit. If there isn’t a Geneva Convention for that there damn well should be.
Brad R.
Tim- Love ya, homey, but I don’t think you wanna jump into this war. Just think of John, OK? ;-)
Tim F.
Yes, I’m a total amateur as far as blogging (and pop culture) goes. But you know that somebody had to step up with the Shatner.
Krista
I heard of a contest somewhere where Shatner will record your outgoing voice mail message for you.
That’d be fun.
Nikki
I’m not sure this tops “America: We Stand as One.” But it’s pretty damned close.
The Poor Man Institute » One punch kill
[...] … Now John Cole’s involved. I think we’ve started WW3. [...]
Christmas
Tim F., you’ve made a novice mistake. This video isn’t annoying – it’s genius.
Otto Man
I’ve already armed Brad and friends with this, so I might as well give it to Cole and company too.
The ultimate weapon of mass destruction: the astrology songs of Harvey Sid Fisher
May God have mercy on my soul.
Punchy
What’s funny is that Duncan thinks he will win the battle with “The Superbowl Shuffle”...but all of us native Chicagoans LOVE that song, and can probably still sing all the words (I can). Hell, I still have it on VHS.
Wow, these videos really bring back some memories.
Otto Man
Sorry, Tim and company. HSF has addled my brain.
Punchy
Wow. Those guys at Sadly, No have just cleaned up. I mean…Shatner doing Elton John, Spock doing…I have no idea what he’s doing…and Billy “Yep, I’m Canadian” Squire having Air Sex on his bedroom floor?
Tim, you’ll need more ammo. Much more.
Richard 23
Good lord, the war’s going global. Maybe this’ll snap Balloon Juice out of it’s slumber!
Thankfully I’m immune. I’m using a computer on which I purposely did not install flash. It’s nice to see a blank spot on the page instead of flash ads.
fwiffo
The warmongers of the blogs should have realized somewhere between Stryper and Billy Squier that the collatoral damage is just too great…
Oh, the horrors of war!
demimondian
I do Richard 23 one better—I remap the CLSID for Flash to an empty ole control.
capelza
Dammit
You all beat me to the Billy Squier vid….
The most career killing video ever made. I was there, I know.
I don’t have the techno savvy..but Queensryche’s “”Queen of the Ryche” is a good choice.
Richard 23
If I really want to watch Asscroft singing “Let the Eagle Soar,” the other computer is four feet away. But I know better. He lost the Eurovision song contest to a man with no larynx and three buttocks.
Catsy
Nothing—and I repeat, nothing—can top Dschingis Khan.
I like to call this video “Santa Khan and his Merry Mongolian Elves”.
TR
Holy crow! That Harvey Side Fisher stuff is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
Nikki
I am become a casuality of the most annoying video blog wars.
Xanadu felled me. Shatner and Nimoy issued the coup de grace.
Nikki
Hasselhoff was simply the final contemptuous kick in the head.
Padraig
Red and Blue to-ge-ether…
Red and Blue to-ge-ether…
We shall annoy the hell out of everybody by playing the worst in pop culture detritus as sung by talentless hacks…
Some Day
The Other Steve
Oh my lord!
Zifnab
/Gouges out ears/
This is sadly awesome.
The Other Steve
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned this one…
Paris Hilton’s NEW! Music Video!
Off Colfax
U BROK TEH INTARWEB! U BROK MI EYEZ! U R TEH L33T OF EVUL!
The Other Steve
WHOA!
Snakes on a Plane… The Music Video!
The Other Steve
Snakes on a Plane… bad rap!
The Other Steve
More Snakes on a Plane music
Otto Man
Paris Hilton’s NEW! Music Video!
Is that the one where she plays the skin flute? Seen it.
Punchy
Holy shit, that could be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I think my new bar pickup line will be “See this coat line-ah? Snake Vagin-ah”...
This YouTube is genius
The Other Steve
I think this beats Dschingis Khan
The Other Steve
No. It’s a serious MTV, top-40 music video. I heard it on KDWB last night. :-)
The Other Steve
Kim Jong-Il! Eat your heart out!
The Other Steve
Youtube rocks. Greatest website every on the internet.
Ross
shatner is pretty hilarious. and his most recent album “has been” has some genuinely good stuff on it (as well as some of his familiar brand of schlock)
The Other Steve
GW Bush impersonator
The Other Steve
Whoa. What the fuck?
Otto Man
That video is actually pretty scary. Yeesh.
Nutcutter
Yes, TOS, saw that comparison a couple of years ago.
It is shocking. I’ve also seen an analysis of it by a doctor who specializes in alcoholism. I don’t have the link any more, but his bottom line was, one hundred percent probability that Bush has suffered from permanent brain damage from the years of drinking he did.
The man is a sad case. Seriously.
Andrew
The most disturbing music video of all time is Aphex Twin’s Windowlicker, directed by Chris Cunningham.
You MUST watch the entire thing. You WILL be disturbed, possibly for life.
(faster link)
Punchy
OT—What a freakin’ mess this has become. And y’all thought THIS board was acrimonious.
Andrew
I, for one, really feel for Jeff “How Do I Choose Between a Dick Slap and a Canine Anus?” Goldstein.
The Other Steve
Umm. Goldstein has a history of making shit up to be outraged about. I wouldn’t doubt that the whole thing is a self-created spoof.
The Other Steve
Oh my Lord!
This is disturbing
Punchy
Please, PLEASE tell me that wasn’t real. Can that stuff be edited to look that way? Holy wow.
demimondian
OK, OK. You guys have finally gotten even with me for mentioning…um…yeah, well, I don’t think I’ll mention that previously most loathesome of internet memes.
I’m afraid of what you all will find next.
Catsy
I think this beats Dschingis Khan
Great bouncing cherry-flavored gummi christs.
I had seen clips of that before, but had somehow managed to scrub it from my soul.
Perry Como
Tim F. is going down.
Sine.Qua.Non
:: A Vastly Annoying Liberal Conspiracy ::
Tim….that was painful.
The other Shatner performance:
Infiltration is the Name of the Game
Sine.Qua.Non
OMG That was hilarious!
The Other Steve
Why we need a wall along the Canadian border
Chris Johnson
Oh no no no Andrew.
Rubber Johnny, also by Aphex Twin and Chris Cunningham.
Honorable mention for “Come To Daddy” but that is too cool to count as a mess-you-up video. And at least I could watch all of those all the way through. i couldn’t keep watching the Shatner L.S.D :)
Chris Johnson
Oh, but I also couldn’t watch Atrios’ Star Wars Christmas Special with Carrie Fisher’s eyes pointing in slightly different directions :) tie!
Creative Destruction » What The …?
[...] Turn-signal to Punchy’s comment here on Balloon Juice for the heads-up. [...]
Andrew
CJ: Ah, Rubber Johnny is brilliantly disturbing.
I recommend the Director’s Label DVDs. The first trilogy is the work of Cunningham, Spike Jonze, and Michael Gondry.
Cunningham/Bjork’s All is Full of Love video is probably my favorite video of all time.
Andrew
But here’s another entry in the annoying video category: Jonze/Bjork’s Triumph of a Heart
SeesThroughIt
I actually have that record so I can drop the needle on his tone-deaf stylings whenever I want. Which isn’t that often, but it is good for a yuk.
Also, I heartily endorse the nomination of “America, We Stand as One.” At first, I thought it was a joke. Then I realized it wasn’t. Then I laughed really hard.
blogslut
Head for cover, Balloon suckers…
http://blogslut.com/neverendingwar.html
The Poor Man Institute » I Write the Histories that Make the Whole World Sing
[...] And then, Dear Readers, then it was so very, very On. We had no choice but to retaliate with irresistable force, which we did with Armi ja Danny’s transcendantly awful and yet strangely compelling video “I Wanna Love You Tender”. Further attacks shattered their already-weakened lines, and the rout was on. When Atrios’ underhanded attacks against the retreating Sadly, No! forces threatened to widen the war, we stood firm, and, with the lusterous sheen of Courage on our fingernails and small green bits of half-chewed Valor between our teeth, we annihilated them both with the one-two combo of the William Shatner Trio’s “Rocketman” and Leonard Nimoy’s “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”. Despite our noble efforts, the war did spread to such diverse locales as The Liberal Avenger, Pandagon, Grabbingsand, Balloon Juice, PunkAssBlog, Jesus’ General, Roxanne, Feministe, Bloated Plutocrats, Loaded Mouth, and many, many more. Because we been a million places, and you know we rocked them all. [...]