This makes sense:
At least that’s according to Craig Wolf, the president and CEO of the Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America, who announced Tuesday that Palin will keynote the group’s annual convention and and expo in Las Vegas in early April.
“Governor Palin is a great supporter of America’s free enterprise system and understands that industries like the beverage alcohol industry play a key role in driving our national economy. We’re proud and honored to welcome her as a speaker,” Wolf said in a statement. “We expect she will share with the convention attendees her analysis of the current political environment and her vision for America’s future.”
Who doesn’t need a drink every time she opens her yap?
Linkmeister
After 30 years of drinking I quit cold in 2000; she’s making me reconsider.
Zifnab
Ah can’t quit you neitha
Posted at John Cole +?
Which makes me think – New game, every time John posts after he says he’s quitting, we all take a drink.
General Winfield Stuck
Did you know Whiskey River runs uphill.. Now you do.
demkat620
@Zifnab: The best days are when John threatens to quit.
We’ll get a Tunch post soon just to keep it going. :)
eastriver
Shouldn’t Bush be doing this convention and she be doing the hunting thing? Was there a mix up at the conservomoneyfunnelator?
Pangloss
I’m going to take a drink every time she says “also.”
cyntax
So that’s the first 5 minutes of the convention. What else is on the agenda?
General Winfield Stuck
Fuckin’ A she does, and every day it makes Erick the Redstate die a little mo inside.
You Don't Say
Did they redefine the phrase “taking a break” while I wasn’t looking?
I kid.
slag
Palin is totally Las Vegas material. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up staying. Maybe she could run for Governor of Nevada. Get another year or two on the job even.
flounder
I’d boycott them, but who am I kidding.
cyntax
@Pangloss:
You’ve got a stomach pump handy, right?
Midnight Marauder
I think “I’m taking the rest of the day off” needs an entry in the Lexicon now, just so all the future minions of the BJ community are not confused upon reading such a comment at 10 AM, and then seeing a barrage of posts over the next 8 hours.
4tehlulz
Worst. Break. Evar.
Bill E Pilgrim
Best break ever, or what?
And that is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore. I won’t do it. I won’t.
Edit: Yikes. Groupthink is scary.
RedKitten
@Midnight Marauder:
This. It’s happened too many times to just be a coincidence. It can now safely be considered a predictable quirk in John’s personality.
Fer fuck’s sake, John. Go get drunk and get laid, wouldja? Step away from the computer for a day — it won’t kill you.
beltane
Is this Christian? Next thing you know Palin will be appearing at the National Adult Toy convention. She seems eager to sell herself to the highest bidder no matter who it is.
cyntax
@You Don’t Say:
I think John saw what Ann Althouse did with racism and the Harry Reid thing and decided to give it a try.
Thoughtcrime
Perfect venue for a Palin drinking game!
DCPlod
You’ll never need to worry that someone might mistake you for Palin, John. Whatever an anti-quitter’s called, you are it.
handy
@4tehlulz:
Win.
CaseyL
@beltane:
Two things:
1. I really dislike Sarah Palin; got no respect and no use for her, and yet
2. I would pay serious money to see her give a talk – any talk – at a sex toy convention.
Oh, and John?
When you say to your students, “I’m taking a break from giving pop quizzes in class,” do they scream and go insane because they know that means they’ll be getting pop quizzes in class until they’re the ones doing the breaking?
Because now I think you’re just taunting us.
ellaesther
I’m beginning to form a theory, John Cole.
You determined that you would take a break, and that you would start with some alcohol.
And now you’re an angry drunk. And so you’re firing off posts at a break-neck pace.
So + just how many are you?
(Alternatively, if you’re not, perhaps you should be? I’m not a drinker, but I understand that some folks who want to wind down find demon rum to be a very helpful tool in that department!)
You poor guy. I think the internet may have broken you.
JD Rhoades
@Pangloss:
You’d better give me your car keys now.
AnotherBruce
Yes, it does indeed look like the beverage alcohol industry has taken the keys and is driving our national economy. Someone call the Highway Patrol.
freelancer
@ellaesther:
“Hi, my name’s John and I’m a
WoWblogholic.”[mumbling]”Hi, John.”
“Uh, you guys gonna get off your smartphones?”
“…”
Kristine
A few definitions of the noun “break” from the Free Online Dictionary:
3. The beginning or emergence of something: the break of day
(This is it–I think John is starting his blog all over again)
5. An escape: a prison break.
(Not seeing this one)
6. An interruption or a disruption in continuity or regularity: television programming without commercial breaks.
(Not this one, either)
7. A pause or interval, as from work: a coffee break.
(Ditto)
30. Break dancing.
(would pay to see)
freelancer
@Kristine:
Naw, he tried that last August.
SiubhanDuinne
We have a while, guys. The speech isn’t until early April. That gives us about ten weeks to come up with a killer list of words and phrases for the Best. Buzzword. Bingo. Ever. Someone who knows how* can design the game cards by randomly assigning the words on the Bingo grid. We could buy them for a dollar a pop using PayPal; the winner(s) would get (a) nice prize(s) to be determined, and all remaining proceeds could help support Balloon-Juice. Or a cat rescue place. Or, you know, me for coming up with the idea in the first place.
*I am not that person :-)
Lee
The Alcohol Industry should not talk about free enterprise. It is probably one of the least free markets we have in this country.
Or were they being sarcastic?
kommrade reproductive vigor
John : Taking a break :: Palin : Finishing a job.
Leelee for Obama
Is “taking a break” the new “hiking the Appalachian Trail”? I’m not complaining, JC, not at all, but it does SEEM that the phrase does not mean what I think it means. If you need to continue giving us all something new to discuss, I’m all over it. You are our Major Tom and I’m just a simple space cadet.
PaulW
Sarah Palin is speaking to wine sellers?
Leviticus 10:9 – Do not drink wine nor strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tabernacle of the congregation, lest ye die: it shall be a statute for ever throughout your generations.
1 Samuel 1:14 – 15 – And Eli said unto her, How long wilt thou be drunken? put away thy wine from thee.
And Hannah answered and said, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD.
I hope Palin reads these passages from the Bible like a good Christian as she ministers to the wine sellers. That should go over well. :-)
kommrade reproductive vigor
@Leelee for Obama: If he’s getting some and then leaping up to blog he’s in for a looooooong dry spell.
@PaulW: No, no, no. St. Sarah will turn water into whine.
Tax Analyst
OK, so I nominate John Cole for Governor of Alaska. Campaign Slogan: “He won’t quit; He can’t”.
Residency requirements be damned – those poor bastards need a real governor.
handy
@PaulW:
Maybe she’s Lutheran.
Pasquinade
Jump in when you are +2 or so:
http://www.operationleper.com/
chopper
these choads should just be glad that alcohol don’t come out of a hole in the ground in alaska or she’d a taxed em all to death and bought votes widdit.
but yeah, otherwise she’s totally ‘free enterprise’. that’s totally spot-on.
chopper +3
bobbo
I don’t think you get to be called “Governor Palin” if you quit the governor job halfway through because it was hard.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
That’s because they know that if Caribou Barbie ever becomes president then liquor sales will blow through the roof as the sane part of the country decides to drink themselves to death.
It’s a win-win for them!
Ash Can
@PaulW:
No way. If the boozers are shelling out decent scratch to her, it’ll be “Leviticus Who?”
(That is, if she actually shows up and doesn’t cancel at the last minute. I wonder if any of the people booking her to speak are dumb enough to pay her up front?)
fraught
They tried to get W but he was too fucked up to respond so they got SP. Isn’t Alaska where all the drunks in the lower 48 go for their geographical cures? Are they paying her in gin?
Nylund
There is that picture of Sarah Palin when she is young with a T-Shirt that says, “I may be broke, but at least I’m not flat busted.”
Well, it took her nearly half a century, but apparently she figured out that she can use the fact that she’s not flat busted to help her take money from the likes of those schmucks who see “starbursts” whenever she winks at them.
The woman will do anything for money. Heck, I bet you could get her to convert to Islam if you gave her a big enough check.
Hank
If she had kept her yap closed she wouldn’t have had all those kids.
asiangrrlMN
She believes in free enterprise, all right, as long as she gets paid for it.
Cole, do we need to stage an intervention?
moot23
I thought meth was the specialty in her neck of the woods.
Florida Cynic
@Lee: I amazed that it took until #30 for someone to point this out. Alcohol distributors are not only regulated by the states, they are protected by them. They are licenses to print money at consumer expense and in no way represent the “free market”. Of course, this is what most Republicans think capitalism is. More for them, less for those scary DFHs, homos, and brown people.
REN
The river was whiskey and I was a diving duck.Swim to the bottom,drink my way back up. Then I could maybe listen to Palin’s voice.
The Populist
So this CEO thinks that Palin supports free markets? Wine producers are usually entrepreneurial and family run. If I had a vineyard, I’d be calling for this jerkwad to step down.
Why people think this woman is so enlightened is beyond me. She’s a fracking idiot. Plain and simple.
Free markets, what a joke.
AJ
The “Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America.” Really?
Jebus, what’s with these good “Christians”, fambly valyoos, and booze?
The Worse President Ever’s sister, Dorothy, married Robert Koch who (coincidentally!) was a lobbyist for the Wine Institute.
Our Worse President EVAR! then nominated his now brother-in-law to the search committee to find a new director for the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. The institute was (is?) a target of the wine lobby that was/is waging a campaign of intimidation against it to prevent a national anti-underage-drinking campaign!
How’s that for irony? A dry-drunk nominates a wine-guy to work alcohol abuse.
twiffer
@PaulW: hey, all that is saying is to not go to church drunk…