Dear Everyone In France
I understand that only tourists and the hopelessly gauche wear shoes with more substance than the leather socks that Uma Thurman sported in Kill Bill. Honestly, it’s cool. The look beats suspenders and short broad ties on girls, photos of which I understand my wife will kill to suppress. Plus it gives people with collapsed arches (e.g., me) an entertainingly trivial reason to feel like an oppressed minority.
However. You can wear vulcanized shrink wrap, or you can cultivate winking retro cool with Converse All Stars. You cannot do both. Shrunk down designer form-fitting All-Stars do not look cool and they’re too expensive and obviously a la mode to pass for ironic anti-cool. Considering that the wide-sole form factor is a key part of the shoe’s image, shrinking an All-Star down makes you look like a victim of Chinese foot binding.
Also, restaurant toilets should have seats.
Also x2: The food is fantastic. If I do not gain weight on this trip my in-laws will be extremely disappointed.
Daddy B
Show us a picture! I can’t even begin to visualize this atrocity!
Cat Lady
Link to shoes, plz.
Yes, on my first trip to Paris I spent most of my time looking down at feet, in between eating at the cafes and looking at shoes in stores. Americans look like a different species of human with their sneakers and ball caps, and additional 50 lbs.
Zifnab
Lols
Cat Lady
Oh christ on a toast point with the moderation for s h o e s. The friggin’ post is about s h o e s.
Michael
I liked everything Uma wore in Kill Bill.
Violet
This thread is useless without pics!
ellaesther
@Cat Lady: Moderation for s h o e s? Why on earth?
Rosali
I need a picture too
SGEW
To hell with the footwear, tell us about the food!
(drools in memory of rural French cuisine)
Cat Lady
@ellaesther:
Dunno – I get the dick drug problem in soshulism, but s h o e s? Happens every time. Why can’t we talk about S H O E S?! WHY?
Legalize
I missed everything that came after “Uma.” What was this thread about?
Walker
The wife and I are currently in France at a conference. And we would quibble with you on this. The food in Belgium is infinitely superior.
cleek
are they worse than these ?
ellaesther
@Cat Lady: Maybe it’s an effort to keep the “cute s h o e s!” contingent out. My experience elsewhere on the tubez informs me that people can get quite exercised about those who may want to wax banal about footwear…. But as we very rarely see footwear in this blog, I can’t imagine this would be an actual problem!
I say: S h o e s for Tunch, and then lift the filters! I see him in a nice slipper.
Cat Lady
@cleek:
I can’t say s h o e s, but I can say holy fucking shit.
SGEW
@Walker:
Thems fightin’ words!
Then again, de gustibus non est disputandum: I see your European cuisine and raise you Japan.
nikkos
What the fuck are you talking about?
Tsulagi
Great, tonight I can tell my SO she is now uncool and her footwear choices passé. Since there’s a foot height difference between us when we go out she almost always wears 4-inch heels. Don’t think she’ll let me gloat, she’ll probably just say “Fuck the French.”
nevsky42
Having visited both Belgium and France, I can tell you this food debate would be a complex one and I would happily accept a travel grant to research and solve this issue once and for all.
Zach
Hey I sort of like half the $100/pr or so fashion line of all stars that you see now and then in department stores. I picked up a pair of black matte leather ones on super clearance somewhere, even. I can’t really imagine shrinking the shoe, though.
Morbo
Not so much moderation as spam filtering. Ads for knockoffs are ubiquitous in unmoderated places
Jim
I’m so unfashionable and out of touch that, even though I go to France at least twice a year, wearing my sensible multi-purpose brown leather lace up good-for- walking shoes, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Lupin
If you’re in the South, near Carcassonne, come and visit us.
eastriver
Sacre bleu, the food in NYC kicks the food in Paris in the balls. Belgium? Good frites.
Next.
Francis
There are excellent astronomically priced restaurants in all the major cities around the globe. Where the french kick everyone’s ass sideways everyday of the week and twice on Sundays is the superb quality of the middle tier restaurants. If you are willing to be polite and vaguely embarrassed about your inability to speak french, you can even get excellent service. Speaking english louder will only make the chef spit in your soup.
ellaesther
@Morbo: LALALA I can’t hear you! I’m going to choose to believe that Cole has a fear of s h o e s, and s h o e-loving commenters. Prove me wrong! It’s in the health care bill!
Poopyman
Tim, did you pee in the bidet?
Poopyman
Lemme test a hypothesis.
Can we talk about garden implements? Like hoes? If not, that could explain the s h o e problem.
Puff
France has this thing about public toilets not having seats. Does this save money or something? If it were just a hole in the floor, I could understand cost savings.
scav
Who bothers to eat in Belgium? There are vitamins enough in the beer. And put me solidly in the camp of the middle tier restos in France camp. Albeit I stomp whenever possible near Siran as there’s rather more grapes and fewer people there than in Carcassonne.
Barbara
The wonderful thing about France is that if you are walking around like the French do you can eat just like the French and not gain weight!
I went to France for 10 days earlier this summer and didn’t gain (or lose) an ounce, and ate every course offered, including cheese, amuse bouche, dessert and wine.
I went to the beach for three days a few weeks ago and gained three pounds.
Eat your heart out!
PanAmerican
The rest areas on the Autoroute. Bonjour!
terry chay
Do you mean this stuff?
http://www.wired.com/wiredscie...../barefoot/
I have a co-worker with a pair. sigh
Sentient Puddle
@terry chay: Oh dear lord. I don’t think those are in any way redeemable.
Joel
As good a place as any.
Café du Marché on the rue Cler, “va te faire foutre!”
(Don’t go there, for anyone looking for recommendations)
Joey Maloney
@Poopyman:
FTW, plus bonus for posting it as “poopyman”.
Xanthippas
This is a pretty amusing post.
Wayne T
Are you talking about the All Star lights?
http://www.zappos.com/images/7.....5488-p.jpg
Very true no one wears sneakers (especially white sneakers) in Europe – I cold always spot an American a mile away.
ruemara
Bring us back some Health Care!
ruemara
& good wine & chocolate.
EJ
What in God’s name are you blathering about?
DZ
I live near Pau in the SW of France 4-5 months per year. It’s Basque country. No food like this in Belgium even though I like Belgian food.
robertdsc
WIN!
Annamal
Hi DZ,
I flew into Pau last year to start the Camino Aragonese (I took a train to Oloron st marie and walked from there), seemed like a really lovely place and the food all around was absolutely wonderful.
tenkindsagrumpy
I implore you to ask yourself why you wrote this post.