06
Apr
Your Glenn Beck fix
If you’re like me, you can’t get enough of Glenn Beck. This description (via) of the end of the taping of one of his shows really reminded me of Colbert:
After the broadcast, a clutch of young, blonde producers gathers to praise Beck’s handling of Blumenthal as the host wipes off makeup; bits of towelette cling to his astringent-reddened cheeks. Then we’re off to the basement garage, where his hulking black Escalade idles. Every day, Beck’s driver-bodyguard delivers him from his lakefront mansion in Connecticut (his PR reps beg me not to reveal the exact town, as if Glenn Beck were a military installation) to Manhattan, where he tapes his radio and TV shows, and back. He bought the mansion in 2005, “right at the top [of the market],” he guffaws. “Look, if I lose my home because I bought too much of a home—it was my choice. My wife said to me at the time, ‘Maybe we should buy a smaller house.’ I said, ‘No, let’s buy one we can grow into.’ ” (The couple has four children.) “I’ve lost everything before. In 2000, I could barely afford my $695 rent, and I was happy.”
Colbert’s take on Beck is an instant classic, IHMO.
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The 10.31 Project | ||||
| ||||
Zifnab
Meet the world’s richest racist asshole, Glenn Beck. "I’m rich, biyotch! Straight sixes for twenty minutes. Clackity-clack-clack-clack."
Zandar
Four kids at home in back in the DOOM BUNKER?
Flying Spaghetti Monster, watch over them with your Noodly vision.
guster
Young blonde producers?
DougJ
I was thinking the same thing.
Michael
That miserable, sobbing, girlishly chubby D cup fuck should have "crying loser" stamped on his forehead. He’s the living exemplar of the hysterical candy-assed churlishness of Big "C" Conservatism.
John Cole
That sounds like a scene from Zoolander.
GSD
The rightwing propaganderatti in action.
Drudge has already flushed the gunsrights copkiller down the memory hole.
Easy come, easy go.
-GSD
DougJ
You know that would only increase his ratings.
Spot on.
Mark S.
Jesus, I don’t usually say that someone is disrespecting the people who died on 9/11, but Beck here is disrespecting the people who died on 9/11.
Keith
Joe Scarborough had a good take on Beck as well. I’m paraphrasing here, but it was something like "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA
!" Complete hysterical laughter at the Boehnering over loving his country or telling us that we are the secret.
Michael
If there were any real libertarians, they’d kick his ass just for being a wimp.
When I look at Beck, I see a guy who got lots of wedgies in high school.
Or stuffed into lockers a bunch.
Or was afraid to shower after gym because of the towel welts.
I can also see him sobbing and yelling for everybody to "stop picking on me – I’m telling, I’m telling".
He’s a candy ass. If his father is alive, he’s got to be embarrassed.
Tom G
He’s a libertarian about as much as Neal Boortz is – that is, not much.
When I listened to AM talk radio in the upstate NY area (late 90s until around 2002), he used to push the Terry Schaivo case several years before it got nation-wide coverage.
Zifnab
No, when he referred to the 9/11 families as whiny people he was sick of – see video clip – then he was disrespecting those who died. Now he’s just disrespecting the living.
Corner Stone
@Zandar
May She be praised!
I am totally stealing*appropriating* that one for myself.
ETA - What’s a guy gotta do round here to get a damn strikethrough feature to work?
Michael
Terri Schiavo was very much the bête noire in Big "C" Conservative circles long before astroturfing shoved her from the fringe into regular news. I remember running into astroturf conservatives yammering on about her at CPAC 2002, and again that fall at another conference I attended.
greynoldsct00
Eeeuw, I hope he doesn’t live on the lake in my area of CT…
Emma Anne
Thank you for finally convincing me to watch that Colbert segment. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. The 10/31 Project, LOL! THEM might turn off their lights and pretend THEM aren’t home. Bwahahahaha!
Alan
@John Cole:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vN1zg3C-Bs
HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Well, in politics, the reactions don’t have to be equal, they just have to be noisy.
First there was Obama. Then there was Beck. Beck gives a face and a voice to the crazy that was already out there and really thinks that some evil force out there is turning the world over to the ni**ers.
Pretty predictable. Ignore him. He’s a Cable TV Troll.
BDeevDad
@GSD: From what I see, they are saying it’s all because of Alex Jones, who is not a real "conservative" like Beck et al
Michael
The least common denominator, boiled down to one very simple statement.
Comrade E.B. Misfit
I gather that Beck’s PR folks have never heard of Zabasearch?
According to that, and by the aerials in Google Earth, he has a very large lakefront house, indeed.
CapMidnight
Beck’s a touching "brags to bitches" story.
guest omen
i couldn’t believe anybody bought beck’s faux tears. when did crying becoming acceptable on the right? if a liberal pundit faked crocodile tears, the right would have tore him up as a you-know-what.
HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker
Let me remind you that lacrimation in the defense of liberty is no vice.
Michael
OT, but for shits and giggles, it looks like Andy Martin’s Big Surprise at the nutburg Birther Conference is his announcement of the Boycott of Hawaii.
http://nationalconferenceonoba.....iicom.html
I can’t find any reports on the attendance. It must’ve been huge and numbered somewhere in the ones…..
guest omen
@Zifnab:
i remember when glenn beck once joked, on cnn’s sister channel, that holocaust ovens bake good pizzas. i was amazed a comment like that still allowed him to remain on broadcast air. he then has the nerve to try to equate obama to hitler when he was the one guilty of making anti-semitic jokes.
geg6
@John Cole:
That was my first thought exactly.
Michael
Because being hysterical makes the Conservative case more imperative to one’s fellow nutcases if one becomes a hysterical, crying, tubby bitch.
JK
Glenn Beck is a malignant cancer within the media universe.
His tv and radio shows are super-sized, putrid, steaming piles of excrement.
Everything Beck says on the air is a lie including the words "and" and "the".
The Moar You Know
Tears and spittle.
And people buy his schtick. Holy crap. OJ was more convincing than this guy.
John S.
Cue Brick Oven Bill and his obligatory:
The Other Steve
I just watched Dead Man’s Shoes yesterday… Ok movie, not great, but Colbert in the gas mask reminded me of that.
Glenn Beck really comes off as a whimp.
Lilly von Schtupp
Usually man tears make me sad on the inside. This time, not so much.
schrodinger's cat
I had only vaguely heard of Beck before I started reading BJ and from what I have seen, he seems like a buffoon. Who takes this guy seriously, I wonder?
TenguPhule
People who watch FOX for the news content.
Saucy Knave
Who takes this guy seriously? I am scared to think, millions of dumbass cracker idiots who believe everything Fox News tells them, without hesitation or questioning.
That’s really the difference between Fox news viewers, and the rest of the world…to them, Fox is 100% correct 24-7. That is THE source for all you news needs, because everywhere else is biased and liberally slanted. Fox and only Fox dishes it straight, no bias there at all, no sir. Fox is NEVER wrong either.
Now, I know plenty of people who identify as liberals but not a single one of them swears up and down that CNN or MSN is TEH TRUTH!
It’s like the wingnuts use Fox as their security blankee, to cover themselves up with whenever they feel afraid or threatened by reality. Fox is like Daddy; Daddy wouldn’t lie to you, Daddy won’t hurt you, Daddy will take care of you and tell you all the things you want to hear.
Sounds like a goddamn cult doesn’t it?
Joshua Norton
FACT…
... George W. Bush instituted a program to warrantlessly spy on ALL Americans.
FICTION…
... The big black librul, commie, socialist, president taking your guns away.
WereBear
I’m afraid so… lies, manipulation, emotional abuse, and lots of new, blonde, buxom faces.
Joel
@Comrade E.B. Misfit: He paid $4.25 million for the place, too.
It’s currently valued somewhere between $3 and $3.5 million, so I guess Beck really can feel people’s pain.
wag
"When I look at Beck, I see a guy who got lots of wedgies in high school."
I have to disagree. I see the football team captain bully who has finally been called out for the coward that he is. He is pissed off that the geeks are in charge, and are fixing beck’s f*** ups.
TenguPhule
Because I love you guys so much.
Hat tip to Atrios.
gex
@Saucy Knave:
I see what you are trying to do here, but in this case the analogy can’t be made. There is no media equivalent to the left that Fox is to the right. The most "liberal" of the news media, NPR has tacked right. For example, post Prop-8 they did stories on how gay people were "targeting" prop-8 proponents. This "targeting" was boycotting establishments which 1) is something the religious right has been doing for years and 2) begs the question what should be done – force gays to patronize these establishments? Meanwhile violent crime against gay people rose in California.
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen – your "liberal" media explaining to you how all these poor people have been victimized by the great gay menace.
Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)
Via Think Progress:
So much dumb-assery compressed into so few words.
Tsulagi
He doesn’t do much for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love to laugh at the really retarded wingnuts and the shit they come up with, but Beck just seems to have manufactured this persona. Correctly identified the core Fox News viewer so now spoon feeding them their pabulum looking to get a fatter contract with more money to pay for his non-elitist CT mansion, or a bigger one if his ratings rise. I prefer my wingnuts organic and naturally tarded to the core without additives.
justme
Awwww. That tearful little episode of his made me think WWE right off the bat. It’s the only sport that isn’t fixed, y’know.
And come on, an Escalade?
What a twit.
PaminBB
According to Wiki,
So they all live with him and wife #2? Or have there been more arrivals, since he is LDS? I’m just having a hard time picturing this clown raising a bunch of kids.
BruinKid
@guest omen:
Wow, I thought you were making that up. But you’re right, Beck did say that on his show back in 2006.
beck « yourdailyhaiku
[...] 6, 2009 at 1:31 pm · Filed under Uncategorized this clip of Glenn Beck crying, will probably make you laugh. It’s that [...]
Mike in NC
Exactly. Who’s doing the bigger put-on these days, Glenn Beck or Joaquin Phoenix? Someday Beck will reveal himself to be the Andy Kaufmann of our time. Laughing all the way to the bank.
Seebach
The one Beck quote that I always remember was when he was infuriated that blind people got to have braille everywhere. The presence of braille pissed him off. So he said "someone should put the braille for hot on a hot teakettle" so that way, they would know it was hot.
Jesus. Who gets pissed over all the blind-rights fascists? He’s a sick man.
vacuumslayer
@wag:
Totally. He, like most nutters, is a bully. They’re bullies. They just hate it when folks decide they don’t want to be bullied anymore.
harlana pepper
Beck continues to write scripts for the brilliant Colbert, dropping comic jewels into our laps. The "to be continued" will be something to behold.
harlana pepper
Wonder how that squares with his attitude regarding his (sniff) "special needs" kid?
Of course, if Glenn Beck was my daddy, I’d have special needs, too.
harlana pepper
@Keith:
I saw that. I typically loathe Scarborough but he kept hiding his face, he was laughing uncontrollably. He couldn’t stand that happened since he had to keep saying what a "nice guy" Beck was and that he was really laughing at a twitter he just got. Oh so precious.
The Cat Who Would Be Tunch
@Joshua Norton:
You’ve committed treason. Bush was doing his patriotic duty by destroying our civil liberties so he could protect our civil liberties. He’s just like Batman. Off with your head.
You’ve seen the light.
ellie
Glen Beck is a goddamn loon.
BruceFromOhio
I’m sorry, that sounds like "If you’re like me, you can’t get enough of cockroaches in the bathroom."
Apparently, I am not like you.