Also, I think we need a bill banning the sale of Georgia, California, Iowa, and New York to the Germans– just to make sure it doesn’t happen. Bachmann is so crazy it upsets me that Will Ferrell is male.
Speaking of Ferrell, I stayed up entirely too late last night and watched his special on HBO, and I didn’t think he was going to be able to keep in character for the whole 90 minutes, but he did. At around 65 minutes into the special, he went on a riff about a brigade of monkeys with spear guns at Fort Bragg that was so funny I was crying and having trouble breathing I was laughing so hard. Also amusing was when he gave the crowd nicknames. A personal favorite was “Scholar of Unnecessary Subjects.” If you get a chance to watch it, do so.
schrodinger's cat
I propose the GOP ticket for 2012:
Palin-Bachmann
shortstop
Quality.
Paul L.
Speaking of Ferrell
Will Ferrell: Obama Thinks So Carefully, He "Too Politically Savvy" For Satire
How about this one? It applies to Obama.
WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH – "Hello, my fellow Americans. I have chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night because quite frankly every time I speak during the day, the Stock Market goes in the crapper.
shortstop
She is totally bonkers, of course, but the global currency line is also a shout-out to the Left Behinders. Do we need any more evidence that Obama is the anti-Christ? These people ought to be thanking him for bringing about that rapture they’ve been begging for.
The Other Steve
Wow. She just get’s dumber every day.
JoshA
I personally enjoyed "Nerd Alert" as his nickname for the software engineer, because that’s a nickname that Bush would actually give out. But the monkey riff was definitely the highlight of the show, although I also liked the abandoned mine shaft one.
Cyrus
Well, let’s not be too hasty here. Would you ban the sale of them as a package deal to that specific buyer, or ban any potential sale of any of those states? Because considering the way California state government works it might be best for all concerned if we outsourced the management, and I figure anyone who wants Georgia can have it.
Also, Paul L., who’s Mccommie?
Robin G.
Between Bachmann and the ongoing Coleman theatrics, it has not been a good six months for the self-esteem of Minnesota.
Ash Can
I would love to see her be somehow required to explain in thorough detail why she’s proposing this legislation. My heart goes out to the already embarrassed Minnesotans, but it just might be enough of an eye-opener, even for her district, to get her out of office once and for all.
MoeLarryAndJesus
I’d like to see Michelle Bachmann play quarterback for the Vikings.
Rick Taylor
Speaking of dumb Republicans, via TPM, Representative Joe Barton lectures on how global warming is natural and we can all just adapt.
JenJen
It was fantastic. I loved the part where he gives nicknames to members of the audience. And I literally howled when he showed the photo of his penis. :-) Good gawd, Will Ferrell is awesome!
But for me, the actress playing Condi Rice absolutely stole the show.
eemom
damn, that twat came sooooo close to going down last fall after that neo-McCarthy rant of hers, when people everywhere were falling all over themselves sending $$ to Elwyn Tinklenberg. I did. Totally LOVED his name, too.
blogenfreude
Saw that Ferrell thing too – comedy gold. Of course, he had a lot to work with.
JenJen
"Michelle Bachmann introduces legislation that “would bar the dollar from being replaced by any foreign currency.”
Some Juicer explained this the other day… doesn’t the Chinese proposal indicate the End of Days according to the Left Behinders, or something?
I like to be up on my current mythology so that I can better understand someone like Michelle Bachmann.
mannemalon
OT but a really well done piece by Media Matters on the anatomy of a smear by the rightwing noise machine: Video
eemom
if I may venture an OT, for anyone who read that AIG crybaby’s resignation letter in the NYT, and longed to see him squashed like the snivelling little insect he is, ya gotta check out Rude Pundit’s response.
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2009/03/dear-ex-aig-guy-rude-pundit-responds-to.html
I do loves me that Pundit.
JL
@mannemalon: Who would have thought that the whackos would go after a laugh. After the last eight years of Bush raping the Constitution, you would think that they would have developed some sense of decency.
SGEW
This is a very precise description of my very same reaction to the monkey bit. Oh lordy, I’m laughing again just thinking about it. Timeless genius.
Though the bit where he’s remembering an advisor screaming at him "All you have to do is just sit there and listen! Why can’t you just sit there and listen?!" struck a real nerve with me. There were parts of Ferrell’s special that were almost too accurately representative of the underlying zeitgeist of the Bush presidency. It was uncomfortably uncanny, at times.
Zuzu's Petals
@shortstop:
Yep. I came across this comment over at Yglesias, which pretty much says the same thing…a dog whistle to the "end timers."
It’s really the only thing that makes sense.
Next bill: a resolution to prohibit the branding of "666" on people’s hands and foreheads.
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@MoeLarryAndJesus:
I like to think of Michelle Bachmann as a mischievous badger.
Zifnab
@Ash Can:
I’d love to see the requirement. Not sure if I’d actually want to hear the response. She’d probably ramble on about how what China is doing would be considered Unconstitutional.
The Moar You Know
@JenJen: The end-timers believe that one of the last steps before the Apocalypse is the formation of a one-world government.
If you want some unbeatable entertainment, BTW, type "one world government" into Google. I can only conclude that there are a lot more insane people walking around than I previously thought.
Also, Glen Beck is the sixth result with one of Backyard Crematory Bill’s favorite subjects:
The Government Wants to Control Your Thermostat
The transcript is a Halloween bag full of crazy candy. I’ve never seen Beck, but I wasn’t expecting…this. Poor BOB must think he’s sane – he IS sane by comparison.
JenJen
@eemom: Oh gawd, that was beautiful.
I mean, really. Those guys were fucking con artists; they didn’t create anything, invent anything, or build anything. They played 3 Card Monty, and if after a few years of making 20 times a normal, middle-class income, they didn’t had the foresight to construct a refuge from the storm that they could probably see coming long before the rest of us did… then fuck ’em, they’re food.
Honestly. Grrr. And thank you, Rude Pundit. :-)
Dave
Good Lord…Bachmann is ten pounds of stupid in a five pound bag.
What would we replace the dollar with?? The euro? The CFA??
But this gets better. HJ Res 41 is introduced thusly:
Better yet, it has 29 co-sponsors. Including mega-douchebag Darrell Issa who’s been spending his free time going after Michelle Obama.
And then there is the text of this proposed amendment:
First of all, the United States isn’t the entity that issues the dollar. It’s the Federal Reserve, a quasi-governmental agency.
Second, by the language, you could have someone locate the issuing agency for a multi-national currency in the United States and give it the same powers as the Fed. Then, by the language of this amendment, it’d be perfectly legal to use that new currency.
Does it reflect more poorly or Bachmann or myself that I have given this more thought than her?
John Cole
Wasn’t BOB prattling on about thermostats?
Speaking of, where is BOB. Did the ACORN special tactics unit grab him?
Jay B.
I’m unaccustomed to one man shows overall, so I don’t know their basic structure, but my criticism of "You’re Welcome America" (which makes me laugh every time I say it) was the traditional "Bush is being stupid" thing, which, while funny enough was pretty obvious. However, like John and many others in the commentariat, the side bits, when Farrell slid into the outsized character of Bush — the mine shaft (Barbara Bush’s legs churning like a drafthorse), the monkey army, the "Western" — were worth the price of admission.
djork
About the "end times:"
Why would a devout Christian try to block the end times via legislation? Wouldn’t they want to embrace a world currency, as it means Jesus is that much closer to coming back? Also, if their asses are already covered via salvation, why would they even care one way or the other about a world currency? Finally, if the end times were upon us, is Michelle Bachmann so presumptious to believe that God / Jesus even needs her to write this legislation? I mean, aren’ t the end times, technically, His will? Why is Michelle Bachmann rapture-blocking God?
MR Bill
Dude, are you sure you wouldn’t exempt Georgia from this?
The place would be better run by the Germans than our insane State Legislature and idiot Governor Sonny "Spaymaster" Purdue…
TenguPhule
Dave
@djork:
Fantastic. My question about the end times has always been why AIPAC thinks these guys have their back? Their whole goal is to keep Israel around for the End Times when the Antichrist comes along and smites the whole lot of them.
TenguPhule
Hedging their bets until they can run to the confessional.
schrodinger's cat
Can some one please explain this end times business? Who believes this stuff any way? I am a scientific cat and ignorant of matters pertaining to religion. Do catholics believe in this stuff or only evangelicals.
ImJohnGalt
Does this mean that Minnesota border towns can no longer have happy hours where Canadian money is accepted at par?
Boooo.
Also, I went to see Ferrell in NYC a few weeks ago in the last week of his show, and weirdly enough I thought the monkey bit was the weakest part of the show. No accounting for taste.
That said, when he was doing the improvisational bit with the nicknames, somebody, and I shit you not, piped in with "My name is Sarah, and I’m a life coach".
Imagine how *that* went over. Can’t figure out why anyone would volunteer that information given the venue.
JenJen
@The Moar You Know:
That, my dear, is the understatement of this young year, so far. Good Gawd.
protected static
Uh oh… she’s gonna piss off the "Fiat Money" weirdos…
When far-Right memes collide!
SGEW
Re: The "global currency" conspiracy theory and the Rapture.
From what I understand, the Left Behind series (and attendant believers) more or less took a variety of anti-communist and nativist propaganda (John Birch material, wacked out Illuminati/Trilateral Commission weirdness, etc.) and incorporated into their hack job sophomoric pulp. It’s unclear to me how much the current global currency paranoia is founded on old-school "Black Helicopters Are Beaming Fluoride Into My Breakfast Cereal" sentiment, how much is based on pop culture apocalypse cults, and how much overlap there actually exists between these two groups.
Coming soon, perhaps: Obama will use his new financial regulatory authority to sap our businesses’ bodies of precious Jesus liquidity. We must protect our Purity of Economy.
DFS
Not to mention, shouldn’t they be hoping the end times come about sooner rather than later? I mean, Bachman and company are all supposed to get Raptured anyway, right? The sooner the Chinese take over the dollar, the sooner all the unbelievers get whacked by the giant golden mechanized crickets and so forth.
Libby
I’m telling you that Bachmann is looking to take over Palin’s spot as great white wommin hope of the GOP for 2012. She doesn’t have to look smart, just outraged and populist.
Speaking of Palin, has everybody seen her latest vids critiquing the press? Sorry I didn’t keep the link and I found it by clicking from some other post but I bet it’s on HuffPo’s front page. I didn’t watch the vid. I just read a part of the transcript from the post about it. Priceless. Classic Palinspeak.
Dave
@schrodinger’s cat:
It’s not a specific branch (though evangelicals and fundies definitely believe in it more). It’s a matter of if you are a bible literalist or if you believe the Bible was written by men and is full of allegory.
You can find both types in every branch of Christianity. My opinion is that, considering Revelation was added late to the New Testament and men such as Martin Luther rejected it, using it to figure out the end of the world is foolish. I think it was an allegory about Rome in the 1st Century AD. My two cents.
Funkhauser
Der Buttrocket, March 24:
I completely agree. This is today’s conservatism.
Comrade Jake
Sully has a link to some awesome NoIQ bait:
Armando, is that you buddy?
passerby
John, Thanks for the HBO link. Right now I’ve got the Senate debating the budget on Cspan, but I can’t wait to watch Will Strategery Ferrell at work.
BTW, I Tried to watch Body of Lies last night but didn’t make it thru the first 15 minutes. Guess I’m not in the mood for explosions, rockets and dangerous third world life–no matter how good Crowe’s American accent was.
Also, I apologize for saying last night that America is slap full of ignorant MoFo’s. Sometimes I grow so world weary that I can’t stand the widespread stoopid that surrounds us these days. Calling them names and being a hater does not move the debate forward.
gbear
@Ash Can:
Don’t count on it. The northern and western parts of her district are just made for the bumpersticker "RAPTURE NOW. Get these assholes out of here". It’s the only part of MN where I’ve gotten hassled for having a rainbow flag on my car.
Dave Gilmartin wrote a book about the worst places to live, and St. Cloud was tops (although, in it’s favor, it does have one of the three Electric Fetus record stores).
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@JenJen:
Rachel Maddow had LaHaye and Jenkins on her show a few weeks ago and they went on at length about their "prophecy." After Maddow aired the segment, LaHaye and Jenkins claimed the segment was edited to make them sound like a bunch of crackpots. So Maddow released the full unedited interview on her website.
Joshua Norton
Yes, but are you dead or alive? Or do you subscribe to the Quantum mechanics that claim your both dead and alive?
MR Bill
Pretty good summary. You can’t underestimate the way Right and Religious Radio (the same thing most of the time) sold
"Left Behind" as Prophecy.
The Moar You Know
@John Cole: I’ve been wondering that myself. I feel the same way about him that I do about my cat; she’s a sweetheart and means well, but is incurably stupid. But like my cat, I’d prefer that he stick around.
@JenJen: Yeah, I’m a little bit surprised that anyone, even Fox, would put someone who is that obviously batshit insane, as Beck clearly is, on the television. But what do I know – Fox may have nailed the average viewer’s interests and beliefs dead on. In which case I’m going to move to the Australian outback, as far away from anyone as I can.
Thom
Can someone show me the provision in the Constitution that says Michelle Bachman shouldn’t move to Estonia and become a male prostitute? Specifically? In the Constitution?
I didn’t think so.
And that Ferrell show suck iguana nuts. I love the guy, but the hilarious bits did not come close to carrying the slow, dim weight of the rest. (Same with Milk, in my opinion. Great performances, but dead editing and pacing, as well as much of the writing.)
sgwhiteinfla
@John Cole
"Nerd Alert" did it for me
Also the dirty dancing with "Condi" and his "special relationship" with the guy from college. Will Ferrell is teh AWESOME.
The Moar You Know
@passerby: As an American, and for that matter a proud one, let me say this:
No need to apologize. Most Americans are dumber than stumps, and that’s an insult to stumps.
Calouste
@Dave:
I am not 100% certain about all technicalities, but I am pretty sure that the Euro is actually issued by the respective national central banks, and not by the European Central Bank. All Euro coins have a "national" side with each country having their own design on that for example.
Besides that, Bachman and the other morans who co-sponsor this know so little about the Constitution, or are so invested in the Unitary Executive theory, that they don’t realize that the President can’t even make a treaty effective. All treaties have to be ratified by the Senate before they become the law of the land.
Blue Girl
Gender differences I guess, John. While her particular brand of crazy upsets you that Will Ferrell is male, it makes me rejoice at the existence of Kristen Whig.
gbear
@Funkhauser:
Der Rocket also let loose with this one about Obama’s telepromter.
This from a guy who called Bush the best genius ever.
SGEW
There are several "End Times" eschatologies going on, as far as I can tell. The largest group (by sheer numbers) may be the Left Behind believers, who are (almost) all self-described "Evangelicals" of one stripe or another. However, this group may have fewer true believers than one may think, as there are many who have only luke-warm agreement (or haven’t really thought out the implications, as they are stupid), and an unknown number of readers who are simply reading it for its breathtaking irony and fail.
There are also a significant number of hardcore believers in fundamentalist interpretations of Revelations (the original inspiration for the fictional Left Behind series) who deride the pulp fiction creation, and are much more fundamentally and theologically "sound" (i.e., more Talmud, less DaVinci Code). This group, I suspect, has a great deal more political/cultural influence in certain aspects, as it is less sectarian (Catholics, Baptists, Born Agains, whatever), and has been around longer. I don’t really have a good idea of which movement is ascendant right now, or who might incorporate whom, or how this may affect the Republican party (or any possible Christianist third party).
stickler
For those still curious about the End Of Times nonsense, start your Google machines with the magic word "dispensationalism," and continue by researching Jonathan Darby.
Short version: radical Evangelicals, starting in the 1830s, reinterpreted Revelation. Their reinterpretation has become virtually unquestioned by lots of famous TV evangelists. But it’s considered heretical by most mainstream Protestant denominations and downright nuts by Catholics (among other things, because Dispensationalists believe that the Pope is the precursor to the Antichrist).
Bubblegum Tate
@J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:
"Dear Mr. President:
There are too many states these days. Please eliminate three.
PS: I am not a crackpot."
Comrade Kevin
Is Michelle Bachmann related to Helen Chenoweth, by any chance?
passerby
@The Moar You Know:
Thanks for the slack Moar. I guess I’m feeling contrite because when I wrote it, I was soooooo fed up that I used the ugliest words I could think of. I’m not one who suffers fools gladly and struggle mightily with trying to find empathy and tolerance for them as they (in the grand scheme) have a right to be here. That’s what really gets my goat–they have a right to be ignorant.
Corner Stone
The first 15 minutes were the whole point of watching the dang show!
I do agree with you that Crowe rocked his part.
TenguPhule
An opportunity to get nutcases to commit suicide and then seize all their assets.
TenguPhule
Considering the current pope, they may have a point.
MikeJ
Bullshit. There’s no antichrist in the bible. There’s no rapture in the bible. Most of this stuff was made up in the 19th century.
They love to claim a literal reading of the bible, and then they turn around and say that all of Jesus’s teachings about feeding the poor don’t kick in until they get to see all the sinners punished first.
Corner Stone
About rapture-blocking God –
They want to delay because they all care so much for us and our lost souls of course. If God grants them just a *leeetle* more time they are sure they can bring us to the Sweet Baby Jeebus’s salty bosom.
They will gladly suffer the absence of His love if it means they can bring another lamb to Him.
As for Bachmann – she’s just stone f’ng crazy.
merrinc
Speaking of wingut legislation, that uppity First Lady apparently needs to be watched.
TenguPhule
TenguPhule
Is there a spontanous blackhole of stupid at Politico or is it just my imagination?
binzinerator
Well, of course we do. The Constitution doesn’t actually say anything in there about not selling them, duh, so only libtards insist we don’t need a law against it.
Why, just the other day someone offered to sell to me the all the states of the former Confederacy, in exchange for a certain service performed, plus a Britney Spears concert ticket.
I was tempted because I sure do miss the Old South but I eventually turned it down because I love watching fatty white trash meth sluts in rhinestone panties even more and also I remembered an unfortunate troublesome sore I got in my mouth after once availing myself of an opportunity to lease New Jersey for 99 years. Besides, I sorta wanted to save up for a hundred shares in the Brooklyn Bridge. Other than that, I woulda jumped on it. Imagine what could have happened if I was French! Or for the love of Baby Jesus, Mexican!
No doubt there are many others who have far fewer scruples and much darker skin and wouldn’t hesistate and before you know we will be owned by the Euros, with the Amero as our currency. We must make sure this does not happen.
/yeesh.
Comrade Darkness
I am not 100% certain about all technicalities, but I am pretty sure that the Euro is actually issued by the respective national central banks, and not by the European Central Bank. All Euro coins have a "national" side with each country having their own design on that for example.
I’m pretty sure you are correct on this. One of the reasons it (apparently) makes for a crappy international reserve currency– no central place to buy and sell treasuries denominated in Euros.
SGEW
Hmm. To tell the truth, I wonder how much the original dispensationalist theology still drives the contemporary apocalypse cults: it was my understanding that there are a number of Catholics who do ascribe to some version of the wackier and more recent fundamentalist readings of Revelations (but I admit I have no idea how they square this with the Pope’s hierarchy). And as far as "mainstream Protestants," I suspect they pretty much consider most of modern Christianist theology to be heretical, if not downright blasphemous.
sgwhiteinfla
I had this post up yesterday tying in the "end times" meme to what Major Garrett asked President Obama and Michele Bachmann’s nonesense yesterday. At the bottom the clip from Rachel Maddow is the one with the authors of the "Left Behind" series
http://smoothlikeremy.blogspot.com/2009/03/new-dog-whistle-you-might-have-missed.html
Adrienne
This:
and this:
Just made me almost pee my pants. That’s a FTW tie…
What to do for a tiebreaker?
Also, JC: When aare we going to get our new tag you (or was it DougJ?) asked us to come up with a few weeks ago regarding pundits/pols/websites where we can’t make fun of them because we seriously think of anything crazier to say ? I think we voted and ‘Mock-Blocked" won, as in, "I tried to make a joke about these assholes, but I got Mock-Blocked".
NonyNony
@MikeJ:
Actually the word anti-Christ does appear in most English translations – but only in the first and second letters of John, IIRC. And if I remember right it’s not a supernatural Antichrist but rather people preaching against Christianity (hence the name "anti-Christ").
But there’s no Rapture – though it’s tough to convince people of that. They assume that it’s in Revelation (it’s not, IIRC the passages that give rise to the myth come from Daniel) and most people give up reading Revelation after a chapter or two because it’s only comprehensible to people who either a) understand enough history of the Christian religion to put all of the metaphors and visions into their proper perspective or b) have taken some really good acid. But if you take the second route you’re probably not going to want to read Revelation right afterward because I’m told it will "mess your shit up but good."
Mike G
Some Juicer explained this the other day… doesn’t the Chinese proposal indicate the End of Days according to the Left Behinders, or something?
The US Dollar – if it was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
The Moar You Know
@Adrienne: I read your site on a reasonably consistent basis. That should tip the scales in my favor (polishes fingernails on shirt expectantly).
Bubblegum Tate
I read most of it back in the day, but I stopped trying to make sense of it after a couple chapters. From that point on, I just took it as though it were somebody’s first story-writing attempt for a Writing of Fiction class: A smorgasbord of horrendous metaphors and imagery that is blatantly supposed to be symbolic but doesn’t actually symbolize much of anything, much less maintain a consistent narrative.
Besides, the whole thing is just John of Patmos tripping balls and writing down his hallucinations. It’s like an ancient, heavy-duty weed journal.
NonyNony
@SGEW:
There are a large number of Catholics who don’t understand their own religion. Which the Church encourages, much like the Church discourages people from reading the Bible.
Official Church teaching on Revelation is that it is supposed to be read as a metaphor and is a historical document describing the state of the early Christian church in the 1st-2nd century AD. It is not a prophecy to be deciphered about the future at all. But yeah, there are a lot of American Catholics who don’t know that – mostly because all they know about Revelation comes from pop culture. You barely hear about Revelation at all in a mass – I think one reading shows up in any of the three reading cycles (though it’s been a long time since I paid attention to such things, so I could be wrong).
Grumpy Code Monkey
An old friend of mine from high school is an ordained Methodist minister, and while he was going through seminary once observed, "the Book of Revelation is a bunch of drug-induced mystical mumbo-jumbo which should never have been included in the Bible!"
Each time I see a bumper sticker that says "In event of Rapture, this car will be unmanned" I want to ask the driver, "what makes you so sure?"
MikeJ
As you point out, it’s just people acting against god. That’s why I specifically said "the antichrist" to differentiate it from "an antichrist".
Any church that says they are "sola scriptura" and believes in any of that stuff is bearing false witness to you.
AhabTRuler
For an interesting discussion of premillennial dispensantionalism, see the take-down of the Left Behind books at slacktivist.
Funny and informative.
Dave
@MikeJ:
I was referring to using the Book of Revelation as a guide to the end of the world, not specifics of the fundies delusions regarding it.
Dennis-SGMM
Speaking as a Californian, I have no objection whatsoever to having my state sold to Germany: longer vacations, better medical care. better beer. What’s not to like?
Dave
@Comrade Darkness:
The ECB is the central bank for the Eurozone. The way the money is issued is different than ours. Member states can issue Euro coins (hence the different designs) but the ECB has to approve the amount. The EBC is the only entity that can issue the banknotes.
geg6
@JenJen:
Agreed. I was howling with laughter at their "dirty dancing."
geg6
@JenJen:
Agreed. I was howling with laughter at their "dirty dancing."
kay
I think I failed at the world’s great religions because it’s so complicated.
The pro-choice Republican (now former) Mayor of New York can speak at a Catholic college commencement, but the pro-choice President of the United States cannot?
Can a pro-choice student get a Notre Dame degree? Does the ban only apply to honorary degrees? Does the ban apply exclusively (maybe?) to Democratic Presidents of the US?
Small group they’re banning.
Comrade Darkness
@Dave, ah yes I missed that subtlety first round glance.
It makes it hard to answer the question of: who is the issuing country. Meaning if the U.S. were to join the Euro (in some alternate universe) would Bachmann’s bill actually ban it as is written now?
Or is it just more fail, on top of fail.
@kay: this kind of thing used to make me crazy, until I realized these guys are all form and zero substance. Rhetoric wins the day, actions mean nothing. Then it starts to at least be predictable. Logical is always going to be out of reach, but predictable helps retain the sanity.
AhabTRuler
@kay: It is not your failure of understanding, it is their failing at being understandable.
The Cat Who Would Be Tunch
I have to ask because this was perhaps a wee bit before my time. Was the level of idiocy we’re seeing now just as bad as when Clinton was in office?
geg6
@NonyNony:
That is how I understand it, too. I grew up Catholic and with a mom considered somewhat of an expert on Catholic theology. Mainstream Catholicism has no real use for Revelations except as metaphor and the whole "rapture" thing simply isn’t an issue at all. That is pure evangelical Christianist. However, the Illuminati/Mel Gibson/crazy people minority branch who condemn Vatican II and such are big believers in a literal interpretation of Revelations. And since the current Pope is a sympathizer of that particular branch of insanity, expect to see a lot more Catholics doing one of two things. One, becoming completely indistinguishable from the craziest of crazy evangelicals. Or two, leaving the church. Hopefully, the majority choose option two.
Jay in Oregon
@Dave:
But what about the Liberty Dollar?
TenguPhule
Yes and no.
Same shit, just older and smellier.
AhabTRuler
@The Cat Who Would Be Tunch: No. They were lying, hypocritical (and I can hear my friend from Argentina saying "ee-po-critical"), undemocratic assholes, but they were not batshit insane.
Blue Raven
@Grumpy Code Monkey:
That’s part of what gets me. As a Roman Catholic, I didn’t get taught the Rapture as valid. As a Presbyterian, it was given next to no currency. As a Southern Baptist pre-1990, it mattered but we weren’t to believe we were going to be taken up just because we were born again. Now, forget it. And it’s so much a part of the zeitgeist that I see neopagans hope the Rapture happens because they think it means they’ll be freed from the oppressive fundamentalists. They fail to realize that if dispensationalism is accurate, we’re fucked from here to Gehenna.
binzinerator
I just saw a youtube clip of Will Ferrell from that special, where Bush describes his 8 years as ‘tenawesome’. Very funny, but I lost it when the other Bush says to himself ‘You are tenawesome" and the camera cuts back and forth between the two Dubyas while they do that smirking laugh.
I gotta see the whole thing now. And after 8 years of the real asshole moron, laughing til my sides hurt is as good a catharsis as its gonna get.
gbear
@Dennis-SGMM:
Plus side: better train service.
Minus side: No freeway speed limits.
That minus could be a deal-breaker…
Dave
@Comrade Darkness:
Oh, it’s all fail. But the way I read Bachmann’s idiocy is that if the issuing authority was in the United States then the US could adopt that currency, thereby rendering her wingnuttery even more lame than it already is.
kay
@AhabTRuler:
I liked Vacation Bible School. They should have closed the deal while I was busy making crafts, and accepting snacks. I was open to reasonable offers, all through maybe third grade. Oh, well.
The Notre Dame ban applies to the following people, as far as I can tell:
Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.
Hardly worth a ban right? These three are busy people. It’s not like these three are going to be badgering your university, begging for a gig.
Hob
@SGEW: Your description of Left Behind is accurate, but it’s not original to Lahaye & Jenkins by any means. This particular mash-up of 19th century millennialist nonsense with Bircher-nativist nonsense was popularized by Hal Lindsay almost 40 years ago.
Jeff
I hated Farrell on SNL — he was the antithesis of funny. Then I saw him in "Stranger than Fiction" and I realized that if he’s given more deadpan material, he’s a good actor. I might give "W" a try.
AhabTRuler
@kay: Hey look, from an early age I couldn’t even buy into Episcopalianism, and that is setting the bar as low as it goes.
Bubblegum Tate
@gbear:
Especially when you consider that Californians are shitty drivers.
AhabTRuler
Huh. Freeways are for driving, you say. I thought they were gigantic parking lots.
SGEW
@Hob: Very good point. Just goes to show that LaHaye is as much of a hack as he is crazy.
Ella in NM
@djork:
The scary but sad answer is that they know this legislation is never gonna get out of the shoot. However, they are signaling their fellow nutjobs that:
A. They’re one of the "insiders" in regards to end times religious beliefs
and
B. It’s happening so get ready and
C. It’s so real that some one (30 someones?) in CONGRESS actually made up a bill to address it.
And just in case you’re tempted to think this is all "fringe" stuff, don’t forget the monthly foreign policy meetings GWB had with the most prominent of the End Timers, Pastor Hagee and his band of merry "Egg on the Jews v. Islam WWIII so We Can Get our Rapture"-ists.
In light of what’s going on today in Israel (read up on A. Lieberman and Netanyahu’s plans to establish MORE settlements) I really wish the US Government would start attacking all this religious shit squarely in the face in our foreign policy.
Will
@schrodinger’s cat:
The PUMAS will cream their jeans.
kay
@Comrade Darkness:
Then it starts to at least be predictable. Logical is always going to be out of reach, but predictable helps retain the sanity.
I would think the predictable aspect of a particular church would be a big selling point. It would to me, anyway. I like predictable rules. I understand why it can’t be logical, because of the personal and, well, faith-based aspects. I’m buying that.
But: these rules have a lot of exceptions. I’m starting to think this is a political party masquerading as a church, quite frankly. Something isn’t adding up here.
Corner Stone
I don’t know where you get your flavor of Southern Baptist, but in TX amongst the wingnut environment I found myself hearing about the rapture often pre-1990. I specifically recall a lot of them saying "Ready for Heaven’s Gate in ’88".
And I was forced at least twice to attend a SB church where the preacher was a "reformed hitman for the mob" – so for those of you who never had the religio-crazy dosage growing up – count your blessings. So to speak.
valdivia
@Comrade Jake:
Not to self promote but I linked to that article yesterday here at BJ, my head was exploding many times over. I really had no clue there were PUMAS in the UK.
Dennis-SGMM
Hey! Most Californians are good drivers as long as the sun is directly overhead, there’s no rain or fog, and they aren’t busy with the cell phone.
Leelee for Obama
As the full-time caregiver for my 89 yo Mom who has Alzheimer’s, I think John of Patmos was in the paranoid, hallucinogenic stage of the disease. I came to this conclusion watching some Xtian tv station in the middle of the night a few years ago. Richard Harris was John of Patmos, and he sounded just like my Mom when she’s in full sundowner mode. Just a thought…
AhabTRuler
Yeah, well, I pretty much always use a 3-iron off the tee, anyway. But if I can get one of those titanium-faced Californians, I might be willing to give it a try.
Cat Lady
@Jeff:
Check out Winter Passing – same deal with the deadpan, but there’s manic right under the surface that stays there. Very cool role.
NonyNony
@geg6:
I dunno. Benedict is big on "reconciliation" with the Vatican II schismatics, but I don’t think he’s big on the whole "literal interpretation of the Bible" stuff. Having been the head of the Inquisition – er – Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith – he knows heresy when he sees it. I think he had a speech a while back where he outlined once again the Official Church Line on the book of Revelation. I expect to see a return of the Latin Mass before I see him give any official sanction to reading Revelation as prophecy. (Though, admittedly, I expect to see the Latin Mass return in my lifetime at this point.)
And IIRC even the schismatics don’t believe in a Rapture – that was made up almost whole cloth by American Protestants in the 19th century cobbling together various bits from all over the Bible and coming up with something new ("literal interpretation" my ass).
OTOH – the Church is doing heavy recruiting in the US among fundamentalist evangelicals who have gotten fed up or disillusioned with their religion. I’m sure that crowd will be bringing their own beliefs into the mix and making things interesting.
AnneLaurie
Unfortunately (for the satirists), their branch of the GOP sect requires at least one XY-chromosome bearer on the ticket, because unsupervised wimmin is just Crazy Talk. But the cage match between these two would indeed be EPIC!
It’s early days for the Obama-nationists yet. During Clinton’s tenure, the "sensible" Wall Street Journal went beyond flogging the theory that somebody, probably Hillary, had murdered Vincent Foster, to peddling a Scaife-sponsored book claiming that then-Governor Clinton had engineered or permitted DOZENS of murders in Mena, Arkansas as part of his wildly successful black-helicopter drug-smuggling career. Once the GOP managed to impeach Bill for something he’d actually done, even if that "crime" didn’t rise much above the level of misdemeanor mischief, people (especially the Media Village Idiots) were happy to forget the previous six years of full-batshite accusations and conspiracy theories.
Obama does have an ironic "advantage" in this kind of race-to-the-bottom conspiracy-mongering, because the people most vested in destroying him (such as the owners & subscribers of the WSJ) can’t bring themselves to consider a not-White Guy as the mastermind of a brilliant ruthless criminal conspiracy. That’s why even the most insane far-right fringe theories so far tend to label Obama as a willing tool of some smarter, more politically adept villian — William Ayres, or Putin, or the Illuminati.
Svensker
@djork:
My thought exactly. This is why a bunch of the end-timers are urging the Israelis to annihilate the Pals — cuz Jesus won’t come if there are filthy mooslems hanging about.
PanAmerican
No. Crazed GOP congressmen babbling on about fiat money and the international conspiracy of European banks is FDR era nuts.
.
These are great days we’re living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we’re gonna miss not having anyone around that’s worth shooting.
Bubblegum Tate
Or the murky-but-nefarious "Chicago political machine."
Mike in NC
See it. Josh Brolin just rocks as Dubya!
Cynicor
Personally, I don’t see any value in watching a rehash of Bush right now, either Ferrell or Brolin. We had to live with him for eight-plus years. I don’t want to be angry at him. I don’t want to laugh at him. I WANT HIM TO GO AWAY. I want to hear NOTHING about him in any form for a long, long time.
LanceThruster
The Condi lap dance was pretty hot too.
I wonder if she’s like that in real life?