06
Jan
Harnessing the Power of the Red State Strike Farce
They are just warming up, but watch out leftards, behold the power of the premier website for conservative thought:
Now, I agree that Duncan’s quote wasn’t the most profound or the most coherent; however, Crowley might want to make sure he at least gets the url of the website he’s incorporating into his slam against Duncan, you know, correct.Obama’s site – the site of the fictional “office of the president-elect” the delusionally grand Barack Obama made up from thin air – is Change.gov, not Change.org, which is a hippie social networking site dedicated to Changing The World in 140 Characters or Less. Nice try, though.
Viva La Twitter Revolución!
dmsilev
I really think it’s obligatory to post the Official RedState Strike Force Shoulder Patch for all of these posts. Just to remind us of the …um …awesome power of the 101st Chairborne.
-dms
sidereal
If they were really a hot shot Internets strike force, they would have pointed out that it’s an example of Muphry’s Law. Sadly, they are not aware of all Internet traditions.
calipygian
The official Caribou Barbie pinup calendar of the Red State Strike Force from Newsmax, now with a "pre-drilled hole". For hanging, of course. Perverts.
Headline from Newsmax advertising the calendar:
"Hot Sarah Palin Calendar Just Released"
I can hear Rich Lowry’s starbursts from Virginia.
TenguPhule
But is there oil in there?
Dreggas
@TenguPhule:
Well Vaseline is a "Petroleum Product".
TenguPhule
Vaseline is for Pussies.
/ducks
Dreggas
@TenguPhule:
Well I hear that April’s picture is Caribou Barbie with a nice stuffed beaver.
Jennifer
Oh, SNAP! He totally pwn3d Crowley for getting that url wrong. With a series of important scoops like this, Red State Strike Farce will prove once and for all that teh Libruls are suxx0r and show the whole GOP the path out of the wilderness!
TenguPhule
Got some wood?
Jennifer
Vaseline is for Pussies.
Huh. I always thought it was for assholes.
Dreggas
@TenguPhule:
No but I bet Lowry does.
Dreggas
@Jennifer:
You’re right on that one snickers.
TenguPhule
And it leads into a tunnel where the tracks they followed were a train’s.
Nylund
So basically The Red State Strike Farce is just a really dickish free proofreading service?
Someone point them towards Yglesias. That dude makes so many typos.
Jerkface McGee
Hilarious…. took me a second to see exactly what they’d done there but that’s gold.
I even went through the trouble of registering at the site so I could commence mockery…. but haven’t received my confirmation mail yet. :(
Incertus
There will come a point when mocking Red State will cease to be fun and games, and where it will become the equivalent of kicking a homeless person and laughing. But that day is not yet here.
Jerkface McGee
I mean, it’s not so clear from teh excerpt… but in context it looks like change.org really is the right URL. Follow the linky.
The Grand Panjandrum
The Sunshine Patriots and Summer Soldiers march on to a land brimming with mountains of cheetos and rivers of Mountain Dew. Gosh I’m getting all misty eyed.
Dreggas
The Red
NeckState Strike Farce:Because this Image can’t be used enough.
Sadly teh google did lead me to a damn reichwing blogger.
John Cole
@Jerkface McGee: The point is that this is what is considered front page material at the “premier site for conservative thought.”
Taunting evil liberal (ha, the New Republic is liberal again) journalists over a URL.
What a wankfest.
Incertus
@calipygian: That’s about the right circumference.
Dreggas
@Incertus:
Are you saying they all could be called needle-dick the bug fucker?
Jerkface McGee
Right, I mean it’s stupid crap for the front page and they get extra douche skills for missing the point anyway.
Change.gov has nothing to do with anything.
Change.org on the other hand, "a hippie social networking site dedicated to Changing The World in 140 Characters or Less" totally fits in Crowley’s context re: "the Facebook… the Twittering".
And why is there no comments there yet? Do they moderate everything…? Then why the hell make me register?
Comrade Baron Elmo
The ground shakes! Lightning flashes! Mountains topple! Liberals cower whimpering beneath the sheets! Obama flinches! George Soros wets himself! RED STATE STRIKE FORCE unsheathes its awesome power to point out minor errors EVERYWHERE!
Explosions! Uproar! Consternation! Once again RED STATE STRIKE FORCE brandishes a mouse-pumped fist in the faces of scurvy libtards, where e’er they lurk!
Anger conservatives at your peril, O left-wing automatons! RED STATE STRIKE FORCE will LASH OUT with the speed of the deadly black mamba, CRUSHING your socialist visions with the unspeakably ponderous heft of HARSHLY WORDED BLOG POSTS! More than once a day, even!
HyperIon
the post upon which this post is based is minimally stupid. this post is also minimally stupid.
by commenting on it, i suppose my contribution becomes minimally stupid as well.
i fear that JC is about to develop yet another obsession, this time with Red State. in future, i hope he writes about RS posts that are more mockworthy, focusing on those that are more than minimally stupid.
libarbarian
LOL!
I agree with him. If the Dems cant even get a URL right, that obviously means everything else they think is wrong too.
Dreggas
@Jerkface McGee:
Extra Douche skills, are those under feats or general skills and just how are they used?
Brian J
Meanwhile, why is Michelle Malkin so goddamn stupid and/or dishonest? In this post, she puts forth the idea that Sanjay Gupta isn’t qualified to be surgeon general compared to the current guy, Richard Carmona, before wondering if we need the position and if it’s constitutional. I can’t speak for his qualifications as a doctor any better than most of us can, but from his Wikipedia page, it looks like he’s qualified. Yet Malkin only links to his CNN profile page, which she cuts off the part that mentions he’s a practicing neurosurgeon and also a professor of if at Emory.
I mean, seriously? Why are people like this?
Comrade Baron Elmo
Man, this Strike Force hoo-ha is the funniest conservative concept since Operation Leper. What, Red State coughed up that one, too?
When I’m down, feeling low… I only have to whisper "Red State Striiiiiiike Forrrrrrce…" and I’m smiling again.
Do you think Erik Erickson has a special helmet he wears when he types in Strike Force posts? Do members have to thrust up a clenched fist and roar "STRIKE FORCE!" after hitting the SUBMIT button? Please, God, let it be true…
Ripley
Did you steal that from Darragh Murphy’s gran mal comment at Wonkette?
FMguru
Do you think Erik Erickson has a special helmet he wears when he types in Strike Force posts?
I think he has a special helmet that his doctors make him wear all the time.
Bubblegum Tate
That’s what I thought, too. It just adds an extra bit of fail to the overarching jackassery that John is pointing out.
Comrade Baron Elmo
Nay, comrade Ripley, I did not… fine libtard minds oft move in similar patterns, methinks.
A link, perhaps? Now I’m curious.
Ripley
I don’t have the direct link, but these were pasted at rumproast.com:
Here’s the one from the Wonkette post:
..............................................................
MurphyPUMA says at 4:19 pm, January 6th, 2009 – Reply
Goddamn right we are fierce! We will fight you until you are begging us to stop. We concede that you have won your precious liberal blog category however we will crush the rest you cheating bastards.
Here is Puma PAC’s Suggested Slate of Blogs for the Weblog Awards.
REMEMBER: Vote Once A Day!
Best Liberal Blog: The Confluence.
Best New Blog: Uppity Woman.
Best Individual Blogger (she’s FUNNY!): Rachel Lucas.
Best Small Blog (vote AGAINST dumbtoast): Nice Deb.
Best Hidden Gem: Deadenders.
Best Food Blog: Cake Wrecks.
Best LGBT Blog: Pamshouseblend.
Bring it on, we wont back down!
........................................................
Ripley
Whoops – format screwed up. The "Vote for" parts were in her comment.
Anton Sirius
Re: Brian J / 28
So Malkin’s argument is that Dr. Gupta isn’t qualified for an unnecessary position… huh. That would make him, what, non-sentient?
At least she still has her mad cheerleading skillz to fall back on if this pundit gig doesn’t end up working out for her.
Ninerdave
@Brian J:
Because outrage sells, and when you don’t really have much to be outraged about you have to make shit up.
Incertus
@Ripley: I’d bet that Pam Spaulding would be less than pleased to be lumped in with some of those other morons.
gwangung
Because it’s a prerequisite to be a darling of the wingnuts. See her "argument" about Japanese American concentration camps. She ignored any contradictory evidence that didn’t fit her politically correct thesis.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
@sidereal: Ha! Thanks for pointing out Muphry’s Law.
I think the most common instance of it is people hassling other posters for their poor "spelling and grammer".
Ripley
@Incertus:
You got that right.
JL
Red State has nothing else to talk about. In order to exist they have to design patches and scour the web in order to point out petty shit.
p.a.
"Yeah babe I know that it gets dark, down by Luna Park
But everybody else, is squeezing out a spark
That happened in the heat, somewhere in the dark, in the dark"- Graham Parker, You Can’t be too Strong
Mentis Fugit
I tried to post this comment to RS:
Note, no profanity, no sarcasm, no ad hominahomina. Didn’t matter – I got this:
HTTP 500 - Internal server error
Is that their way of saying I haven’t registered? That’s five minutes of my life I want back.
cleek
@Mentis Fugit:
IIRC, even once you clear the registration hurdle, they make you wait a day to post. and then they ban you as soon as you express dissent.
the reason nobody comments there is because nobody can.
OriGuy
I think the Aqua Teen Hunger Force could wipe their asses.
TR
This is all they’ve got? Bitching about the Office of the President-Elect nonsense? Seriously?
Jay C
@Brian J:
It ain’t "people", Brian, it’s Michelle Malkin: the same one who recently cited Stanley Kurtz’s anti-Obama hit-piece screeds on NRO Online as sterling examples of "investigative reporting". Which in her mind [sic] probably puts RedState up there with the Wall Street Journal as "journalistic" biggies.
Gemina13
Obama’s site – the site of the fictional “office of the president-elect” the delusionally grand Barack Obama made up from thin air – is Change.gov, not Change.org, which is a hippie social networking site dedicated to Changing The World in 140 Characters or Less. Nice try, though.
All that just to say, "Hey, dumbass. Try getting the .url right next time"?
Hot ripostes. They’re doing it wrong—OH JOHN RINGO NO wrong.
Mentis Fugit
@cleek:
So what you’re saying is that the server 500 error saved me from wasting even more time. I can live with that.
Just for a giggle.
Delia
There’s one thing you should always do before you press the submit button and set your words in little electrons for all time and eternity. You should check teh google machine and make sure that they’re right. If the RedState Commando had carried out this simple function, which takes less than a minute, he would have discovered that both url’s, change.org and change.gov, belong to the Obama people. Change.org is where all the people in the country can send their ideas in for what they think should change. Change.gov is the url for the Obama-Biden transition team.
It’s not really that hard.
Oh wait. I’m not a member of RedState Strike Farce. Maybe it is.
Tsulagi
This is how I picture the prototypical RSSF trooper, but of course complete with the coveted RS patch on their uniform and official RS coffee mug in hand.
Get a laugh too thinking of them with firearms without Cheneying themselves. I’m thinking to try cutting down the incidences of peppering each other, or themselves, their field manual calls for their cammies to be in fluorescent orange or red color. Truly special wingnut operators they are.
Zuzu's Petals
@dmsilev:
Yes, and it should be blinking…to alert us that a major news flash is on the way.
Zuzu's Petals
Wow, they couldn’t even get that one right.
Far from being fictional, made up from thin air, or the subject of delusions, it is specifically authorized by the Presidential Transition Act of 1963.
What a bunch of twits.
Zuzu's Petals
@Delia:
I loved it when Dick Cheney mixed up "org" with "com" and sent everyone to a Soros site during the 2004 VP debate.
demimondian
@Zuzu’s Petals: I’ll be switched. I didn’t even realize that there was such an act!
That’s cool.
Bubblegum Tate
@Tsulagi:
I can’t believe you would disparage Dark Helmet like that. He’s one of the greatest movie villains ever, whereas the Red State Strike Force members are more like this
Paul Crowley
Are they really calling Obama "delusionally grand" for, you know, acting like he’s going to be President of the United States of America in thirteen days time?
Tony J
You mean this work of genius?
Are you kidding me? BDU in those shades are vital if they’re really going to make-believe that they’re Trackers. Minus the fit young bodies, years of training and efficient leadership, of course.