Human Events declares that Sarah Palin is the conservative of the year. Ann Coulter does the honors:
Sarah Palin wins HUMAN EVENTS’ prestigious “Conservative of the Year” Award for 2008 for her genius at annoying all the right people. The last woman to get liberals this hot under the collar would have been … let’s see now … oh, yeah: Me!
The entire presidential election year was kind of a downer for conservatives. Once the “maverick” John McCain won the nomination, the rest of the year was like watching a slow motion car crash. Except at least a slow-motion car crash is occasionally entertaining. So it was going to be a long year.
Until Palin.
When McCain chose our beauteous Sarah as his running mate, the maverick was finally acting like a real maverick — as opposed to the media’s definition of a “maverick” which is: “agreeing with the editorial positions of the New York Times.”
HoYay! Or is it Les Yay? Whatever.
Seriously, the only people more excited about this than the Palin dead-enders are… every single Democrat in the country. Hold her close. Embrace the Palin. Show the country this is your vision for the future GOP.
Pretty please?
In other news, some more end of the year award nominees can be found here.
dmsilev
Arguably, Barack Obama’s greatest political gift is the ability to attract absolute loons as opponents (see: Keyes, Alan). Furthermore, there’s something about him that makes even vaguely-non-loon opponents act like complete morons (see: McCain, John). Clearly, the streak is continuing. Equally clearly, Barack Obama is Batman.
-dms
John Cole
@dmsilev: Look at the normally sane people who completely lost it regarding Hillary. Hell, look at Bill during the primary.
Zifnab
right people = voters?
Has the right wing’s desire to piss of the liberals been elevated so high that its actually a bigger priority than winning elections? Moar of this plz!
Fap fap fap. Buy my book. Fap fap fap.
grandpajohn
Good choice I would say, after all isn’t her lack of knowledge and comprehension on practically every topic along with rabid ideology pretty much typical of the standard modern conservative?
TR
Amen to that. I dream of a Republican Party led by Sarah Palin, Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor, and Patrick McHenry.
Actually, those would probably be the only four people voting for the Republican Party, too.
sparky
o mighty blog mind, may i ask if anyone knows the answer to the one gossip question i have: how the %^^$! did miss ann break her jaw?
correct answers *cough* may beget sacrifices. or not.
dmsilev
@John Cole:
True enough, though that was mostly her supporters rather than Hillary herself. Clearly, switching genres for a second, Hillary is strong enough in the Force to resist Barack’s Jedi Mind Tricks.
-dms
GSD
Eva Braun heart’s Lucretia Borgia.
-GSD
Joshua Norton
I don’t know where (M)Anne gets the notion that we’d hate to see Palin run. We were just concerned that Mrs. "Sign the checks" would become president by default if McCain bought the farm during his term in office. Hell, I think she should be declared the next Repug candidate by acclamation. Then we could spend the next election season hearing the most comical, scatter-brained ramblings since W. tried to explain the causes of his current market crash and recession.
bago
I’m holding out for oxy-baby-momma of the decade myself.
jake 4 that 1
Ann seem anxious to remind us that she is indeed female.
It seems Ann was AWOL during the last election. Or perhaps I was too busy watching the unfolding horror of the Wreck of The Straight Talk Express.
Keith
So that’s all it takes to be "Conservative of the Year"? Even though I’m liberal, I may just make an attempt at the award next year. Allzineed are a giant foam middle finger, an attitude built on a rock-solid foundation of negativity, and a blog or a newspaper column or somethingorother.
Joe Max
Amazing. The primary reason offered as to why the Right should support Sarah Palin, why she deserves this prestigious award, comes down to one thing: she pisses off liberals.
Not her political skill, not her positions on the issues – the fact that she annoys the Left is reason enough to crown her the Greatest Conservative Politician EVAH!
And, mAnn adds, she’s just like ME ME ME!
Joshua Norton
Except for the Adam’s Apple, the hair dye job and the penchant to wear black cocktail dresses 24/7, making every appearance look like the proverbial "walk of shame".
kid bitzer
it’s not that often that a conservative icon comes out and says what we all know:
that the only unifying principle of the conservative movement is "if it annoys liberals, it’s good!"
that’s the party of ideas, in a nutshell.
pure reaction, pure culture-war resentment. a strong executive? it’s bad if liberals like it. but if it annoys liberals, it’s good! expanding medicare? it’s bad if liberals like it, but if it annoys liberals, it’s good!
electing morons to high office? it’s bad if liberals like it, but if it annoys liberals, it’s good!
thanks, anne, for spelling it out so clearly.
JR
dmsilev says: "Arguably, Barack Obama’s greatest political gift is the ability to attract absolute loons as opponents"
Hilarious, thanks dmsilev. Obama has definitely benefited from late-stage conservativitus. It is an interesting commentary of the corrosive effects of power & greed to watch the Republican cliff-dive into the wacko bin.
Obama wins by default.
Unfortunately (or actually, fortunately) liberalism always wins by default, simply because it tends to stay sane and humane. It doesn’t have the crazy-juice that attracts the selfishly arrogant and willfully ignorant.
Yes I know right-wing propaganda says different, but we do have the evidence of our own eyes now.
Dave
Hey, an Ann Coulter sighting!
Now I have to rinse out my eyeballs with bleach…
Comrade Stuck
Teh Wingnut Queen dons her crown.
jenniebee
This is a slap in the face to Joe the Plumber
Doug H. (Comrade Fausto no more)
Yep. With the economy tanking after eight years of misrule by their own party, the winning strategy is obviously to piss off liberals! BRILLIANT!
Hell, I wonder if their strategy to everything is to piss off liberals. ‘Do I want a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder? Hmm, which choice is more likely to get a front page post out of Kos?’
Reverend Dennis
"Conservative of the Year," much like winning a beauty pageant in a leper colony.
Ripley
Two questions:
1 – Ann Coulter is still around?
2 – Why?
TCG
If Sarah Palin is the one by whom the word "Conservative" is to be defined, then they are screwed.
AnneLaurie
This is kinda like Dick Cheney searching for the "best" VP candidate and choosing… himself.
Thinks Coulter: "Sure, I’m just as vicious, self-centered and untrustworthy as this Alaskan bimbo, as well as a whole lot smarter. But after my last 10 years of self-promotion, nobody with more than two brains cells to rub together would vote for *me*, or my ‘brilliant cabal’ of right-wing pundits! Solution: We promote Bible Spice as the Next Hot Conservative Star, and then feed her market-tested bullshite and manipulate her like a hand puppet."
Hey, if Dubya Bush could be successfully marketed as ‘the guy ya wanna have a beer with’, then Caribou Barbie can be marketed as ‘the next Margaret Thatcher’, right?
El Cid
The highest aspiration of conservatives everywhere: doing whatever they can to piss off liberals, no matter the consequences to them, us, the nation, or the world.
AnneLaurie
Because like other virulent disease organisms, she has evolved to resist all our prophylactic attempts?
Joshua Norton
I’m still waiting for Caribou Barbie’s very special Holiday message. Maybe she can find someone to slaughter a reindeer in the background.
Shinobi
Because, God exists, and he hates liberals.
bago
@AnneLaurie: I still say we wrap her in rubber. Though given republican kinks, that might be a positive for her.
Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon)
@sparky:
It must have been from:
a) a slap in the face;
b) being thrown under the bus; or
c) a fall suffered while jumping the shark.
There are other possibilities, but they’re too horrible to contemplate.
David Robinson
Human Events makes more sense if you’re high on Oxycodin.
Joshua Norton
This could turn into low-rent 4 year version of "Absolutely Fabulous" with Palin playing Eddie and mAnne playing Patsy.
How could you not love that?
Comrade Stuck
@AnneLaurie:
But we can still rib her.
Laura W
"Palinized" is now a verb.
As in: "Is Caroline Kennedy being Palinized?"
I can’t even think of anything funny to add to that.
It’s stand-alone funny.
Adam
Whatta maroon, huh?
jake 4 that 1
@Comrade Stuck: Time to wrap up this thread.
Laura W
@Joshua Norton: I would LOVE that. One of my favorite Xmas traditions is watching back-to-back Ab Fab episodes for hours.
Cheers, Sweetie Darling.
"Long trail of cat sick" is a term I just can not use often enough.
jake 4 that 1
I immediately thought of the episode where they wake up on the garbage scow.
I also see Katherine Lopez as Bubble.
Bubblegum Tate
As has been said before, the people who want to see Palin become the face of the GOP are wingnuts, Democrats, and talk show comedians.
Laura W
@jake 4 that 1:
And Saffie?
Huckabee?
No.
Karen
I can’t decide which is the bigger moron: Coulter (she’s had more practice) or Palin.
Tymannosourus
Coulter is singlehandedly keeping U of Michigan’s law school from breaking the top 10 in the rankings every year.
Apsaras
Ann Coulter is the Marylin Manson of politics.
Surreal American
Call me a killjoy, but I find the willingness of Democrats to egg-on a Palin presidental run disturbing. The same electorate that made it possible for Shrub to be in office twice would not hesitate to vote in a "new, improved" Caribou Barbie if things do not improve.
4tehlulz
@Surreal American: Killjoy. The best thing about Sarah Palin’s presidential run is seeing if it implodes faster than the New York Mets.
BarneyG2000
According to Coulter the only requirements to being a female conservative is to by attractive and fertile.
To best describe Coulter’s observation and literary skills I point to this:
jake 4 that 1
@Laura W: I tried to think of a Saffron, but that requires an uptight and co-dependent person with strong ties to the right wing…
OMG, Andrew Sullivan!
Haon
God, is (M)Ann getting loonier or what?
I haven’t really paid attention to him since Boondocks (teh Animated series) nailed his ass to the wall.
I don’t remember, for example, zealous inquiries into the supposedly peculiar religious practices of any candidates in past elections.
I know, wright?
Liberals were angry at Palin because they thought she should look and act like Kay Bailey Hutchinson: Upper crust, prissy and stiff.
Sounds like someone hates KBH. Republicans divided: this is good news… for Republicans.
In a nutshell, Palin was everything Democrats are always pretending to be, but never are.
Incompetent?
A newspaper in Boston responded to Palin’s speech by interviewing hairdressers who criticized Sarah’s hairstyle.
The jokes just write themselves. They set the bar with jokes about female politician appearances and now get pissed they can’t contain their Frankenstein monster…
Just watch what happens when we all register Republican to vote for Sarah! in the primaries. Better get out the plastic sheeting and duct tape, cause exploding Republican heads are biohazardous…
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Is there no-one else in the entire world who appreciates a movement which calls itself "conservative" and spends its time looking for "mavericks" to lead it? Anyone? Am I the only one?
And as regards Coulter…
Conservatively Liberal
This is an obvious slap in the bus while jumping the face and getting thrown under the shark to all libruls out there. They only exist to annoy libruls?
I thought they existed for us to point and laugh at. I am totally disillusioned and lost now, my whole world is topsy-turvy. It has been rendered asunder.
Oh well, I will get over it.
Laura W
@jake 4 that 1:
Win x 987,309
Napoleon
@Tymannosourus:
I always thought they were 2 or 3rd or something like that.
freeulysses
Phoenician you’re not the only one. I’m also a fan of the line that Palin trotted out repeatedly during the campaign, that McCain was the "consummate maverick."
Laura W
I would like to Palinize "political tin ear".
So far today I have heard it used to describe the you-know-who invocation, and the deliberate feet dragging on the release of the Blago Blah Blah.
It makes me picture Obama dressed up as the Tin Man from Oz, and as sweet a character as he was, it’s not how I want to imagine my Prez.
low-tech cyclist
Like others upthread, I’m amused that what it apparently takes to get oneself named "Conservative of the Year" is to get liberals pissed off at you.
This must be the right’s way of saying, "In the most challenging moment for America during the past 60 years, we’ve got nothing to offer, but we’ll still oppose, tooth and nail, any attempts to deal with our problems by left-of-center means."
Mazacote Yorquest
Coulter’s all about pleasing Daddy, a union-busting lawyer who thought all liberals were hypocrites from New Canaan and who loved Annie’s miniskirts and hellfire sass. Pissing people off is the only thing she thinks is worthwhile, because that’s what gets Daddy’s attention and love. Winking at Daddy, making fun of those community organizers (just like those Jewish commies Daddy hated), pimping out your own kids to piss off the educated set– Coulter knows an Electra-fying fellow traveler when she sees one.
Napoleon
@Mazacote Yorquest:
Who was her dad? Tell us more.
Tonal Crow
Awesome! I can’t think of anyone more qualified to lead the GOP! Palin/Coulter ’13: Jumping the face and slapping the shark’s under-bus!
Mike G
“Conservative of the Year” Award for 2008 for her genius at annoying all the right people. The last woman to get liberals this hot under the collar would have been … let’s see now … oh, yeah: Me!
Shorter Coulter:
I have no personal achievements of note, so my greatest pride is that many people think I’m an asshole.
The mentality of a junior high class bully. And this reptile is considered knowledgeable by the intellectually-bankrupt rabies-right.
Mazacote Yorquest
Ask and ye shall receive an emetic, Napoleon:
townhall.com/columnists/AnnCoulter/2008/01/10/john_vincent_coulter
Just think what a therapist could make out of that thing. I mean, you thought I was kidding about the miniskirt issue, didn’t you?
Napoleon
@Mazacote Yorquest:
Wow.
Some, like I believe Andrew Sullivan, basically maintain she is an act, but I have always thought her and most if not all of the nut jobs on the right are in real life exactly as they appear in their columns/radio shows/tv appearances.
Chaos
@low-tech cyclist: This must be the right’s way of saying, "In the most challenging moment for America during the past 60 years, we’ve got nothing to offer, but we’ll still oppose, tooth and nail, any attempts to deal with our problems
by left-of-center means."
Fixed. Today’s conservatives, being true blue patriots, create problems for America to "solve" (See Iraq, War in). Then they expect a cookie when they manage a minor clean-up on the mess they made (See Iraq, War in, Surge). No wonder Sarah Palin is their anointed leader.
Cain
@Laura W:
Crap..for just a second I thought it said "back to back Arabs" and I had a quick wtf moment thinking "what is she watching??!"
cain
Cain
@Napoleon:
I believe she’s an act.
sri
Grumpy Code Monkey
@Zifnab:
Zifnab wins the thread.
Joe Max
Strangely, just to add to the bizarre stew of the Coulter personality, she is also a genuine, no kidding, serious Deadhead.
Here’s an interview with her from Relix magazine, the Grateful Dead fanzine:
jambands.com/Features/content_2006_06_23.06.phtml
Glenn
I agree with their pick. She exemplifies what a so called conservative has come to represent. Empty headed, mean and emotionally shallow. The perfect Republican conservative!
Laura W
@Cain: "back to back Arabs" was you being all psychic and stuff, esp. on the Coulter-Patsy connection. One of my fave episodes is Morocco.
Comrade Stuck
Mr. Allahpundit over at Hot Air brings some truth to the Wingnutosphere before bestowing Palin her Prestiiiigious Honor..
Ed = Capn Ed.
Bubblegum Tate
@Cain:
I also believe she’s an act. I’m pretty sure she really is conservative and all that, but her books/columns/speeches just reek of schtick. She figured out that she could make a nice chunk of change saying that shit, so she’s happy to say it. Of course, she’s seeing diminishing returns from her act; Our Lady of the Concentration Camps is stealing some of her thunder.
Cain
@Bubblegum Tate:
Yeah, that’s what I feel. It’s all calculated to provoke a response from both sides. It’s wearing thin because you really can’t complain about liberals now because conservatives have all gotten us into a mess. They really need to shut the fuck up.
cain
PaminBB
"Sarah Palin wins HUMAN EVENTS’ prestigious “Conservative of the Year” Award".
Human Events and prestige belong in the same sentence? I don’t think so.
Zifnab
No no no. That was all part of the plan. A war launched on bullshit, a deregulated economy doomed to failure, skyrocketing health care costs and declining care, global warming – it was all one vast right wing plot to piss off the liberals.
r€nato
Wasn’t it Atrios (and probably many other bloggers) who noted that modern conservative thought seems to consist of, ‘whatever annoys liberals, we’re for it’???
Little wonder that allowing the right to run the show has led to so many cock-ups over the last several years…
r€nato
Well, El Cid beat me to it, long ago.
You know what would really piss off this liberal?
If conservatives would asphyxiate themselves during self-pleasure while wearing two wetsuits and a dildo wedged up the arse.
On a webcam.
r€nato
have you seen her latest book cover? Holy shit, she’s virtually falling out of her skimpy, low cut top.
When is Paul Krugman going to prove his gravitas by posing for the cover of his next book wearing a revealing thong?
Mazacote Yorquest
Giving rim jobs to badgers is INHUMANE, barbaric, sexist, desecrates Muhammad and violates all tenets of Marxism!
/crouches expectantly behind tree
(I mean, it worked with moose didn’t it?)
Laura W
So OK there’s this, which may or may not be fictional.
And then there’s this, which appears to be real.
I already spend way too much time musing over peoples’ relationship dynamics, but the Maher/Coulter liason is beyond my tiny mind’s grasp.
Unless the sex is hot.
Reverend Dennis
Something creepy about Coulter. I wouldn’t fuck her, even with Atanarjuat’s dick.
Cassidy the Racist White Man
Her and Maher have been friends for years. She has to be an act, which is why we didn’t hear from her during the election.
TenguPhule
Unable to stand the filth being spewed out of it, the jaw broke itself in a mercy suicide.
TenguPhule
Yes.
Because there is no God.
There is only a cold and bitter universe that hates all life.
Laura W
@TenguPhule:
That is the funniest thing I have read/heard all day.
THAT is why I come here. Well, that and Fuckhead’s interminable* faux-snow issues.
(I like to look up big words before I post them because Some People get their jollies from busting me for stoopid stuff, and lord knows I’m rarely short of stoopid stuff, so….
"Interminable: wearisomely protracted".)
Conservatively Liberal
The Boondocks (on Adult Swim) did an episode where the "real" Coulter says she does it all as an act and her boyfriend is a big AA dude that she talks ‘street’ to.
Funniest f’ing thing I have ever seen with ‘Coulter’ in it.
Cabalamat
If the Republicans run Palin or someone like her in 2012, they’ll lose, and lose badly.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Hur hur hur! Sorry.
Oh thanks. Drive the red hot needles in my eyes while you’re at it.
Chuck Butcher
No, no, no John do not give Jonah a lifetime achievement, there is so much stupid left to do.
Bhall35
Re: Palin and Coulter.
My partner, summarizing the two:
"Two peas in a pussy".
Well, I laughed.
DanJoaquinOz
@ Joshua Norton, Jake 4 that 1 & Laura W.
I know I’m late (vagaries of timezones) but I’ve just got to nominate my conservative/AbFab cast. In addition to Joshua’s perfect casting of Coulter as Patsy and Palin as Eddie –
Saffie has to be earnest and disapproving of her mother & Patsy’s excesses. You’ve so got the part Kathleen Parker.
Bubbles must be a sweetly moronic fellow traveller. We just can’t go past you, Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
Mother/Gran is a pretentiously ‘lady-like’, primly venal, passive-aggressive closet drunk. Quick! Can somebody organize a black coffee and a cold shower for Peggy Noonan?
Reverend Dennis
The Awards Committee obviously overlooked The Office of Thrift Supervision
Neither the SEC nor the OTS were doing their jobs. In fact, the OTS seems complicit. Although there were cops on the beat, they were just acting as lookouts for the crooks.
joe from Lowell
The threshold for being named "Conservative of the Year" is…the ability to annoy liberals?
That really is what conservatism is about these days. They’ve going nothing going on between their ears except frothing hatred of liberals.
Nancy Irving
"prestigious" – ha ha.
Sam Dobermann
. . .
The "senior federal banking regulator" was the same fellow that did the same thing with regard to Keating’s bank in the late 80s before it failed, leading it to go on for many months and costing the taxpayers much more. It cost billions back when a billion was real money.
Incidentally, the reason that McCain got off so lightly from that little escapade was that most all of his acts occurred while he was in the House and thus the Senate didn’t have jurisdiction over them AND because he ‘repented" and ratted out his fellow crooks.
Question is whether that senior federal banking regulator was sought out for just that purpose or were the Busheny fucks just lucky.