Fifteen Minutes and Counting…
This would be teh awesome:
Move over Sanjaya and tell William Hung the news: Joe the Plumber is being pursued for a major record deal and could come out with a country album as early as Inauguration Day.“Joe” – aka Samuel Wurzelbacher, a Holland, Ohio, pipe-and-toilet man – just signed with a Nashville public relations and management firm to handle interview requests and media appearances, as well create new career opportunities, including a shift out of the plumbing trade into stage and studio performances.
Then he can write patriotic songs and perform them at the Palin/Huckabee rallies in 2012- he can call his backup band Joe (not Joe). Some suggested song titles:
She Chews Tobaccy And She Votes Huckabee
Mommas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Marxists
Everybody Wants to Go to the White House
No dancing, though. Remember, good Christians only in the new GOP.
If he works quick, I bet they can squeeze a few songs in for the DVD release of An American Carol. I am sure harnessing the power of Joe the Plumber can do for that movie what it has done for the McCain campaign.
(via the GOS)
horatius
Joe the Plumber becomes Sam the singer?
r€nato
there goes the liberal media again. Why won’t they quit stalking Joe?
dbrown
John, running away from the last thread? Good move.
Dennis - SGMM
Know why Southern Baptists don’t have sex standing up?
People might think they’re dancing.
r€nato
he’ll be a huge flop and the nutosphere will blame the vast liberal retail workers’ conspiracy for selling Dixie Chicks CDs to buyers instead of the Joe the Plumber CD they asked for.
Gerald Curl
Too bad Sam the Sham is already taken.
Dennis - SGMM
Joe the Plumber will be to music what Billy Beer was to brewing.
r€nato
the VH-1 "Behind The Music" episode practically writes itself…
kommrade jakevich
Celebrity for me, but not for thee.
He sings, he’s a pipe and toilet man. Why, he could form a group with Larry Craig. I can see it now. The Swinging Stall Doors.
phobos
Dancing may be acceptable as long as there is no touching below the waist.
Wini
OT, but does anyone know the "return to sender" process, if there is one? Is it as simple as writing that on the item and putting it in the outgoing mail? I just came home to yet another piece o’ crap republican mailer, and I’ve had it.
Dennis - SGMM
OT, Desperation makes for teh stupid:
Pre-emptive ejection: Audience members removed at McCain rally in Cedar Falls
kommrade jakevich
@Wini: Wait until after the 4th.
jrg
I think Joe and Sarah have both reached the same conclusion: "40% of America is not enough to win an election, but that’s a ton of viewers and record sales". It’s hard to fault either one of them, I’d probably do the same thing.
McCain better keep a close eye on his valuables, because his campaign is going to be running out the door with an armful of "free" shit come Nov 5th.
Comrade Stuck
Joe is auditioning for the job of Singing Rasputin in the Mccain WH. Sarah Serendipity will foretell the future and bear Joe’s son, that will run down MCCain with his tricycle . After that, the rest of us will bend over and kiss our ass goodbye.
Funhouse Proverb # ?? Nostradarnit.
kommrade jakevich
GASP! College students, at an event hosted on university property no less. Clearly they’re up to no good.
The only thing missing is McPOW telling those dang kids to get offa his lawn as they were escorted out.
ddjango
With any luck, Waylon & Willie’ll kick the crap outta him in Lubbock some night and feed ‘im to the bats under the Austin bridge.
Wini
@kommrade jakevich: Good call. I’m already having a war of sorts against my mailbox contents (I hate getting the ad circulars from my local newspapers), and this republican crap just set me off today.
Tsulagi
Only in America.
Hey, don’t you go putting elitist limits on Joe. Joe’s going all the way. He’ll add his plumber’s crack to Palin’s you betcha folksiness for the winning combo.
Palin/Joe ’12! An over/under shotgun of stupid.
See, that’s why McCain’s going down the shitter. He’s just not retarded enough to truly energize that side of the aisle like a Bush or Palin.
Moustache Frank
Cool! Then Joe the Plumber can go on tour with Larry the Cable Guy.
Comrade Darkness
That is the normal procedure for first class mail, but presorted mail probably doesn’t have enough postage to make the return trip. You might as well deep six it yourself, cuz that’s all the post office will do with it.
The Grand Panjandrum
@ddjango: Wayon’s dead and Willie’s been stoned since 1957 so I don’t think that’s gonna happen. But who knows maybe Elizabeth Hasselbeck can get him an appearance on The View.
Chuck
When will we, as a country, stop this "ferret syndrome" bullshit we all seem to have? Every time some pathetic piece of trash shows up on TV, America collectively breathes out "ooooo, shiny!" and decides it’s high time we knew everything about said jackass.
William Hung. Paris Hilton. Sam Joe Wurzelbacher Plumber the Third Esquire.
The last asked a goddamn question. One question, which he didn’t even seem to hear the response to before finding any way he could to turn his time in the limelight to a pathetic 15 minutes of fame. And now, despite his seeming lack of any real talent, skill, or qualification, Big Joe’s getting a record deal? Awesome.
And as for the projected release date, that seals the deal on any sort of dignity left in country music. Fuck those people.
Perry Como
@ddjango:
What’s that you say?
I was a moose hunter, on a snowmachine I did ride,
With Trig and Bristol by my side.
Many a Lowry lost his starbursts to my wave.
Many a fan could tell how close I shave.
The bastards beat me in November of ‘08.
But I’m still really great.
I was a plumber, I was born to fix the pipes.
Roto-rooter did abide.
I questioned the policies of Barack Marx.
I became more famous than Jordan Sparks.
And when the black guy won and the talking points were killed:
I was singin’ still.
Bitty
No wonder Joe was worried about Obama’s tax increases on those earning over $250,000. He really does have financial delusions of grandeur.
Zuzu's Petals
When it looked like Joe/Sam might try to snag a book deal, Olbermann ran a contest at GOS for best titles.
The winner: "Down the Drain with John McCain."
My fave for subtitle: "The John I Couldn’t Fix," by Joe the Plumber.
J.
How about a cover of Britney’s "Oops, I did it again" or AC/DC "Dirty deeds done dirt cheap"?
Jeff
Well no good musicians are letting them play their music at their campaign stops.
church-lady
If ANYONE posts a link to Ashcroft singing "Let the Eagle Soar", then the kitten gets it
!
LiberalTarian
Well, he was going to cut a country record and be a big star, but then he realized he was gonna have to pay a bunch of taxes and so he decided against it. Wouldn’t wanna pay more taxes don’tcha know.
NickM
"Joe" should cut a collection of skinhead classics—that’s about what’s left of the Republican base.
Cassidy
@NickM: You’re thinking Neo-nazi. Skinhead music is generally considered street punk or Oy punk.
binzinerator
Yeah that does hint at some kind of mental thing. He’s like Palin in that his own ego and ambition are far beyond his talents and lacks the ability to perceive his own limitations.
It’s whacked. People on a raging ‘up’ swing of bipolar disorder get really crazy ideas about their own abilities like this JoeSam guy. They make up shit about themselves too, in the same way JoeSam decided he was a 1) plumber who was 2) really going to buy his boss’s business and 3) make more than $250,000.
Someone give that moron some lithium, please!
binzinerator
Mentioning the bipolar thing reminds me of maybe why Palin won’t release any medical records. I think a history of mental illness, especially something like bipolar, would do her far more damage than a faked pregnancy or a hidden abortion or a dose of the clap.
She could defend the faked pregnancy as what any mavericky pittbull-with-lipstick was willing to do to protect her daughter. Her base would buy that, even admire her for it.
Even an abortion or VD could be repackaged: Story of anguish, then terrible regret, then beg forgiveness & saw the light of Jeezus and was forever more changed for the better, hate the sin love the sinner, yadda yadda yadda, etc.
Yup, they could get away with that. A regular Mary Magdalene story. It wouldn’t sink her, just make her more ‘like us’ to the true believers.
But history of mental illness? No fucking way.
r€nato
is there postage-paid return envelope in there?
then stuff the letters they send you inside that envelope and send it back to them, on their dime.
Repeat as necessary. I wish they would send me junk mail more often.
Gus
He better hurry. I’d bet it will be available for Christmas.
cain
@kommrade jakevich:
My guess is that the crowd’s enthusiasm would ebb once he asks everyone to tap their foot for their next song! :)
cain
b. hussein canuckistani (comrade)
And ska, with all that lovely Jamaican backbeat. 2-tone ska was the thing back in the 80’s, in my long-forgotten youth.
Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s
He’s too naive to realize that on Nov 5 he re-becomes a nobody.
The true irony is this…
Here’s a guy concerned that the government wants to take 35% of his income who is now willing to give an agent an additional 20%.
Hey Joe…now you’re talking distribution of income and wealth.
Callimaco
Joe the CELEBRITY!