So last night when I said everything was predictable about this show, I meant it. Here is a prediction- Starbuck has met and is nailing some professional athlete who is part of the resistance on Caprica. I give him three episodes until he is dead. Can’t have the brooding masculine chick falling happily in love.
Again, I give him three episodes, max. Not that this is a bad show, just that it is far less original than many of you act like it is.
Jack
I won’t say it’s the absolutely most original show on TV, but it is one of the more original SF series.
And… um… things don’t quite work out the way you predict.
JWeidner
John Cole’s BSG predictions
FAIL
;)
Cain
Dude, you are so wrong. Eat crow, buddy! :)
cain
A.Political
Wait though, John can always say he mis-spoke, pantsuit style.
Freemark
You seem to miss that she was married to him during previous seasons and has already been on a couple of years.
Johnny Pez
Although you’re right about Starbuck not being happily in love. Because, let’s face it, happy people are boring.
Cap and Gown
All the chicks are “masculine” if by that you mean that you take are current gender relations/stereotypes as natural. Sh*t, wait till you meet Admiral Cain (Kane?).
I think one of the real strengths of the show is that it completely upends the gender stereotypes we live, and now die by. (What is our purpose in Iraq other than Bush thumping his chest?) Despite some of the other posters raggin on the episode about Scar, I found it to be one of the best precisely because it took a classic, hollywood, testosterone-infused confrontation between two pilots and gave the roles to women instead.
Punchy
SF shows are boring? Anything on Nat’n Geo is better, besides the dog dude?
Desmond
John, you’re only half-right. No, Anders does not die anytime soon, but neither does Starbuck end up happily in love. Nice try though! :)
Kat
Where’s an open thread when you need one…
We just ‘imported’ 6,700 tons of DU-contaminated sand from Kuwait.
Andrew
Anders? Doesn’t he kill Adama and fall in love with Baltar?
kdaug
Dammit, Andrew, no spoilers! John hasn’t seen that part yet.
Just wait till he sees the Tigh/Baltar/Chief three-way!
Craig
I think I’d like to apologise in advance on behalf of all BSG fans everywhere for the middle of season 3. You’ll know what I’m talking about when you get there.
ty lookwell
If Moore and his hardscrabble band of sad-sack writers had any sense, you’re prediction would be 100% correct, sir. Now, you’re just going to have to suck it like the rest of us.
jnfr
Total fail.
ty lookwell
[I can’t believe I wrote you’re for your. Jeez, shame.]
Jay in Oregon
Freemark Says:
And you seem to miss that John isn’t up-to-date on BSG; he’s about halfway through season two.
kdaug
You seem to miss that John’s watching this from the beginning, fresh. I’m looking forward to the about-faces.
ranger 3
Women are all dumb bitches. See girlfriend, ex. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a bitter, failed drunk.
MDee
Unhappy? You can pretty much expect all of them to be miserable cusses throughout.
Keep watching, though. It’s not going to go the way you expect it to. Take it from someone who will walk out of movie if the ending is telegraphed too far in advance. I avoided BSG for the first and most of the second season. Then I got hooked. Sometimes I think it gets a little out there but they always pull it back in before I’m ready to ditch it.
P.S. I also figured Anders was a goner. He’s still part of the cast.
JGabriel
Jack:
Cute joke, everyone, trying to get Cole to think he’s wrong.
Sorry, John, but you’re right: Anders is dead four episodes after he was introduced.
But hang in there. Maybe something else will surprise you later on.
.
Fledermaus
Yeah. epic fail.
Thanks for playing.
JR
Guys, why spoil it with details? Just mock John for his utter incapability to tell where it’s going, and remind him that the real transcendence beyond mere SciFi comes during the New Caprica episodes in Season 3.
Martin
I demand a prediction each episode to take our attention off of the truly shitty sci-fi which is the US election process.
Bob
JR’s right about that, I look forward to Johns views when he hits Season 3.
And believe, the show has many faults but in general, predictability isn’t one of them….
scarshapedstar
Geez, John, you really ought to stick to predicting the outcome of foreign policy adventures…
…okay, that was unnecessary.
MNPundit
Ex-girlfriends are the dumb bitches. The rest are bitches but not always dumb…
….though I may be biased as I enjoy slumming with bimbos.
Joe
You’re in for a few pleasant surprises, then. ;)
Freemark
Jay in Oregon Says:
You are right, I did miss that.
bago
You see, there’s a reason we like this show.
Catfish N. Cod
“Can’t have the brooding masculine chick falling happily in love.”
*Happily* in love? Ah, that’s the kicker. Will Starbuck be happy in a marriage? Is she even capable of that?
BSG doesn’t do uncomplicated relationships. Probably the happiest ‘ship on BSG is Helo and Sharon… and he shot at her for being a Cylon, and she’s in the brig. So don’t assume anything.
lee
lol I was going to come in here with the Epic Fail line.
Looks like I am too late.
Looks like John is as accurate with his BSG as he was years ago about Iraq ;)
(sorry had to take the cheap shot :)
lee
Favorite Epic Fail Pic
DBrown
Lets see, tens of billions of their people are dead in a war they lost big time as well as all twelve of their home worlds – the and robots that did it are hot on their tails, and ready to finish the job. They live pack together in tiny ships in a vacuum with little hope, terrible food and horrible conditions, and they all lost many/most/all their family members and friends … miserable? You think?
Just from the aquarium like-view, it is interesting but some of the story lines are very much a mirror on our souls and the writers do address problems that most TV shows are afraid to address.
Strange how they have no homosexuals (no, Cain doesn’t really count since she is the classic lipstick lesbian that men drool over)… I guess they never allowed gay marriage in their society … maybe that is why God allowed their society to be destoryed?
Incertus
I’ll give you this, John–you’re willing to be publicly wrong in a big way.
crack
Gotta say, if you don’t want spoilers don’t make predictions.
Billy K
One of the cool things about BSG is they flesh out minor characters and sometimes pull them to the forefront. Cally, for example, was basically an extra for the first half of S01. Now she’s a major character. And I read with Anders, he was supposed to be in 2 or 3 episodes.
Still waiting for the Racetrack/Hotdog episode. I kinda miss the pilots.
demimondian
So, John, I see that you’re already throwing BSG under the bus? Typical liberal MUP-follower; no follow through. First you stick with them too long, and then you throw them under the bus too soon.
Too much loyalty to a person clearly predicts not enough. Yup, MUP to the core.
Steven Taylor
Agreed. Helo is a great example. And Tory much later.
mantooth
Neeeerrrrrdsssss!
libarbarian
John,
You’re right. its not as original as the super-fans think that it is. Its still a decent story with some decent characters – esp. Baltar – and much better than most things on TV.
MILF Island anyone?
Sasha
[bites tongue]
Just wait till the season finale.
Ron
John is so far wrong that it’s really quite laughable. It’s almost like he’s channeling Cheney prior to the Iraq war.
Grumpy Code Monkey
There’s always the space porn, John. Just wait ’til you get to the Adama Maneuver (a.k.a Adama’s Psychotic Act of Badassery). It makes up for a lot.
stew
Unfortunately John, if you’re going to make predictions…people are going to spoli the future for you….especially when you are wrong.
BTW…love the blog….
stew
Unfortunately John, if you’re going to make predictions…people are going to spoil the future for you….especially when you are wrong.
BTW…love the blog….
No
He’s a cylon.
MJ
It is easy to laugh at John being wrong with his prediction. How about making some of our own?
How do they end the series? I assume they find Earth but do they find present day Earth? A Earth that is in our future or one from our past?
Perhaps they find Earth during ancient times and decide to settle on an Island away from the indigent people. The Island they name Atlantis and they end up influencing the Greeks with the Gods they worship.
Who else do they kill off before the series ends. How about a BJ-GSP dead pool?
How do they explain the #6 in Baltar’s head? If so how do they do so?
Who is the last hidden cylon? They are leading us to think it is XXXXXXXX (I won’t mention the name since John is a season behind) but perhaps it is somebody else.
Do the others find out who the 4 cylons are? If so when?
It’s easy to play Saturday morning GSP plot expert or give John shit for being wrong but can you make your own predictions?
Billy K
.
Oh man. Manohmanohman…that thing in Exodus Pt. 2 was the coolest thing I have ever seen ever in my life. Ever. It’s worth watching the whole series just for that moment alone.
gex
As usual, when online either on XBox live or the Internet, I can be assured that several times a day I will be confronted with the “Women are bitches” comments.
You guys have fun with your super macho sausage fest of the nets. Blog about how women are bitches and beat off to porn.
Krista
Seconded. That moment had me utterly gobsmacked.
shera
It was amazing. The entire sequence is truly one of the best action scenes I’ve seen on television or film and yes, it is absolutely worth waiting for.
vanya
I have mixed feelings about this show. As SF it’s just wretched – the universe doesn’t seem to follow any consistent rules, the society is far too 21st century Earthlike in its attitudes and social structure. None of the differences they show make any sense – the human society is supposed to be polytheist, and scattered over 12 planets. Wouldn’t a culture like that have to be dramatically different from our own? Wouldn’t each of the 12 colonies have probably evolved very different cultures, social mores, languages, hierarchies? Why does no one ever seem interested in developing a reliable test to tell cylon from human? How could it be that hard when cylons apparently have superhuman strength and their backs light up when they have sex? Those would seem like obvious physiological difference, etc. etc. I’ve never seen an SF show with more holes in the premise.
But Ok, if you ignore that, (and you should) and accept that BSG is really pseudo SF for people who don’t like SF (or are embarassed to watch SF), the show works pretty well as social criticism and as a plain old TV drama. The characters are well drawn, the plot takes interesting twists, etc. But I do have a sneaking suspicion BSG has entered X-Files/Lost territory and the writers don’t really know where they’re going. I hope I’m wrong.
If you like real SF, btw, the new Doctor Who and Torchwood (the second season anyway), are much better than BSG.
Andrew
They did, it worked, they were convinced by a certain someone that it didn’t.
Desmond
It’s supposed to be a “sister culture”, in that they’ve developed along the same lines as us. That’s one way to explain the strong similarities between them and us; also, the religious concept that is repeated over and over again: All this has happened before, all of it will happen again.
As for differences in the 12 colonies, there ARE differences, they just aren’t brought up every single episode. First of all, they all have the same origin, Kobol, and follow essentially the same religion. But the Geminese are regarded as more fundamentalist. Saggitaron and Aerolon are poorer colonies, and Saggitaron in particular has been economically exploited by the others. Caprica seems to have been the real economic and cultural center.
The simple answer is that it’s for dramatic reasons. But they don’t trust Baltar’s method now (even though it actually did work), and maybe they figure they just don’t have the expertise to make a new one.
Their backs lighting up during sex was just a wink at the audience. It doesn’t really mean anything other than “ooh! she’s a cylon!”
As for the superhuman strength, I’m not sure how you would test for that. Sleeper cylons themselves seem unaware of their superhuman abilities.
BSG isn’t “scifi” if you’re only talking about TELEVISION scifi, like Star Trek, Stargate, Farscape, Babylon 5 and shows like that. It’s much closer to cinematic scifi like Blade Runner or even Alien (both Ridley Scott movies, oddly enough). A lot of it is inspired by Star Wars too, but mostly because the original show was, and some elements were carried over into the re-imagining. The Vipers look a lot like X-wings, for example.
But no, it isn’t like what is typically understood as “scifi”. So much the better, IMO
Billy K
That’s so we 21st century Earthlings can relate to it, duh. And the world they inhabit is purposely not THAT far advanced from ours. It’s more realistic in its depictions of weapons, for example. Laser beams (from what we know of physics) take huge amounts of energy to be effective, and are not realisticly going to be viable as a weapon. It makes much more sense to shoot something with a high-speed projectile. That’s just realism, and it’s a good thing about this show.
Yes, they do, and that is acknowledged. What you have to understand is, the fleet is run by mostly Capricans (and another colony which is very similar), so you’re mostly watching one colony. They are kind of the premier colony, and there is some resentment from the others. This is addressed in numerous episodes.
They tried. Even Baltar couldn’t make one. They didn’t just drop the idea, as it resurfaced in S04 (E02 I think). Also, how do you know they gave up? They’re probably still working on it.
That was just a stupid idea from the start. But obviously, not ALL cylons’ backs light up (Sharon was frakking Helo and Tyrol. I’m pretty sure one of them woulda noticed.)
Skin jobs are physiologically nearly identical to humans. As they explained in the last episode, they based the new models off humans. They basically grew new humans. That’s why they’re indistinguishable. They made their own human beings.
Every show has holes. This one is no exception. They actually go to great lengths to explain things. but they don’t make a 2-minute speech directed to the viewer to do so, like most television does. They do it over time, and usually as a passing reference. Pay better attention and you’ll catch it.
P.S. the new Doctor Who is the only Doctor Who I’ve ever enjoyed. I’m curious to see Torchwood.
Billy K
Now I feel stupid. :/
KCinDC
Unless the strength is magical, it indicates significant physiological differences between Cylons and humans. Presumably the muscles and bones are different.
The same problem occurs in Blade Runner, though, so at least it has a prestigious precedent.
Richard Bottoms
Torchwood rocks. But you better be down with ten gays. John Barrowman, a gay man in real life, plays the Omnisexual Captain Jack Harkness with full on sweaty Castro swagger and there are no chaste little pecks here.
That said, best show since Buffy.
norbizness
The Lex Luthor Choral Group has something to say to John.
David Hunt
Ron Moore mentioned in one of his podcasts that the lit up back wasn’t meant to be taken literally. It was a story-telling device to indicate their cylon nature. I admit that that’s a pretty crappy explanation, but that’s what he said. I suppose that they had to come up with some reason why the humans didn’t just make everyone have sex in front of witnesses so that they’d know whether they’re a cylon or not. Plus, without being too explicit, I think it’s highly unlikely that during his long affair with Number 6 on Caprica, that Baltar would not have seen 6’s back during sex.
Chuchundra
Cylon brain structure must be different than human brain structure considering that:
1) Cylon brain data is automatically transmitted to a remote location for download into a new body upon death. There must be some structure or other feature that allows this.
2) Cylon brains are uniquely susceptible to certain types of radiation.
A PET scan should be able sort the Cylons from the humans in short order.
Jeff
Big oops on the prediction there, John (not to spoil too much if you’re actually reading these spoiler-prone comments).
I still think there are some big surprises in store for you.
Billy K
I always thought it was interesting when Sharon helped the crew decipher some Cylon thing by cutting her arm open and shoving wires into her arm. Weird.
And speaking of Sharon, she’s been a no-show this current season. What’s up? When is her toaster brain gonna kick in again? And when will she recognize the final four/five?
Andrew
Have you guys ever thought that the cylons just count in base 9 and so we’ve already seen all 12 of the skinjobs?
Okay, that was pretty much the dorkiest thing I have ever said.
Catsy
Unless the strength is magical, it indicates significant physiological differences between Cylons and humans. Presumably the muscles and bones are different.
Presumably–but how would you tell? It’s not as if you have two seemingly identical people you can compare, one of whom is human and one of whom is a Cylon version, in order to have a control group for identifying differences. Humans have widely varying levels of adrenal response, muscle tone, bone strength, healing rates and ability to ignore structural stress in their bodies. Indeed, the human body is capable of performing incredible feats of strength and stamina under the right circumstances, demonstrating that it is frequently a problem not of structural limitations but in the limitations of the human mind–some of which are self-defense mechanisms to prevent damage to self–that keep us from doing some of what the Cylons do.
As far as interfacing with machines, our brains have been shown to have the capacity to both sense and affect electromagnetic fields. It seems to me that aside from a certain degree of hardening and self-repair ability–none of which needs to be too far outside the human norm–a great deal of Cylon-specific abilities have to do with their “software”, and the wiring of the brain is something that isn’t very well understood even in that sci-fi universe. And they did touch upon that self-repair ability in the episode where stem cells from Hera were used to cure Roslin’s cancer.
All of which is a roundabout way of saying that sure, there are bound to be differences that could be detected–once we knew what we were looking for, and likely with lengthy and complex tests. Baltar proved that it could be done, he just did a good job of discrediting the actual working test when someone he’d “cleared” turned out to be a toaster.
WMass
“ranger 3 Says:
Women are all dumb bitches. See girlfriend, ex. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a bitter, failed drunk.”
I appreciate that John allows dissent in his comments, and generally allows dipshits to make fools of themselves. But some people are such contemptible scum that they should be shunned. It’s the twenty-first fucking century, do we really still have to put up with this pathetic stupidity?
gex
Thanks WMass for chiming in too. I was pleased to see that I wasn’t being hammered for complaining about those posts, but disappointed no one else had a problem with them.
WMass
One of the things that bothers me is how acceptable sexism is in many social arenas. If Ranger Dipshit had said the same thing about blacks, “All Blacks are dumb n—–s” a lot of posters here would have flipped out (I hope). John probably would have removed the post. But say exactly the same thing about women, more than half the population of the planet, and somehow it’s completely acceptable. Sometimes I wonder if we will ever grow up as a species.
WMass
gex; sorry I didn’t see your post before, I scrolled through the page and was kind of horrified that nobody seemed to react to such pathetic bullshit.
Billy K
CDS in 3…2….1….
gex
WMass –
Well I for one don’t recognize the gender relations from BGS. Men and women with the same locker room? Men accepting Starbuck as CAG?
Meanwhile, my girlfriend wasted her money on her XBox360 and XBox Live, because if the dudes there hear a female voice every insult is slut, whore, c*nt, bitch, etc. She won’t really play anymore because they also complain constantly if you use the voice masking capabilities to protect yourself from this.
It’s one reason I laugh at people who don’t think racism and sexism exist today. Get a bunch of white dudes online and anonymous and it’s all n*gger, b*itch, and f*g insults non-stop.
David Hunt
As far as the Fleet’s problems with telling who’s a cylon and who isn’t, I have always explained it to myself by remembering that none of the ships that escaped the Colonies have an incredibly well-stocked biology lab. The best facilities seem to be on the Galactica and it’s hospital isn’t any more top-of-the-line than I’d expect those of a U.S. aircraft carrier built in the 70s to be top-of-the-line (Remember that the Galatica is old).
Baltar’s cylon detector was a Frankenstein Monster of a solution using whatever materials he could get (plus a nuclear weapon). They’s still be using it now if he hadn’t been a total idiot and discredited it. I understand that he didn’t want to risk having his head torn off by an activated sleeper agent, but after he reassured her and shooed her off, he should have immediately gone to Adama and told him that one of his officers had tested positive. If he had felt the need to hedge his bets he could have stressed that it was a beta-test, but he was taking his life in his hands when he let someone who tested positive go unreported. I believe that Tigh was seriously thinking about spacing him before he managed to get something that at least resembled useful intelligence out of Boomer.
gex
Final word on the bitch topic.
I believe both genders are guilty of this – please don’t accuse me of being a man hater, because I’m not. (Oddly, I generally like having guys for friends more than gals based on mutual interests).
We don’t date random samplings of the other gender. We SELECT them. Odds are if you think men are assholes or women are bitches it is because *you* pick assholes or bitches to be with. Or something about you makes them react in assholey or bitch ways. (Everywhere you go, there you are…) A reasonable response would be to examine these selections and do something different.
gex
Billy – “And when will she recognize the final four/five?”
Well, the 7 don’t know the final 5, so she wouldn’t recognize them per se. But if Caprica can sense them from the brig, why can’t Athena sense them when she’s standing right next to them on the deck?
I’ve been watching this from start, but I am nervous about the series end. Since the only last season decided who in their universe will be the final 5, I am afraid that they could really blow it. If it wasn’t part of the overall story arc from season one, they need to be very skilled to pull this off without making it seem incoherent and half-assed.
Billy K
Right, and right! But also, remember Deanna recognized one in her dream, when she apologized.
WMass
“Billy K Says:
CDS in 3…2….1….”
I hope thats not directed at me, because among other things that would make you a fucking moron.
Billy K
And also, the Raider recognized that other one (avoiding spoilers as best I can)
Xanthippas
Also, people you didn’t think would be Cylons turn out to be Cylons.
Oops, did I give it away?
Desmond
Not to mention a lack of expertise. There’s only 50,000 people left, after all.
Delia
Also remember that we have some healthy half-breeds between cylons and humans. I expect this will have something to do with the series finale. Also, the cylon game plan seems to have gone astray. I have wondered if the Galactica group will find an Earth without a human population and humans and cylons both will be the founding population.
Mike D.
“Based on Star Wars” my butt. The original show was Glen A. Larson’s long-hoped-for magnum opus: The Book of Mormon in Space. Almost nothing about it makes any sense unless you know what every single character, social group, and meaningful encounter “represents.” It was okay, but had crappy ratings and repeated budget cuts until the Universal Studios tour tram showed up, fully recognizable, as an alien mass-transit system. When they got to Earth, strong men wept openly and rent their clothing. Ugly.
As far as I can tell they might have just as easily called this new thing “The Sun Also Rises, Fellow Amazons” or “Days of Wine and Roses — and Grrrlz!” I don’t get the fetish of keeping the names Starbuck, Cylon, Baltar, Adama, etc., but someone out there must have made a hell of a pitch for the series, I’ll say that.
MDee
I never said they didn’t have a reason to be miserable, just observing that they were miserable. I mean the reasons are pretty self-evident. Oddly, I think this neurotic and complicated group of people would be miserable in paradise. It’s one of the things that makes the show so interesting.
MDee
Oh man, I had been thinking about this peripherally all week and your question sparked an idea who it is and why it makes perfect sense and how shocking it will be if I’m right. I don’t think it’s who they want you to believe it is, although I have no explanation for the odd freaky circumstances surrounding their reappearance and their ongoing descent into madness.
Andrew
Billy is the final Cylon!!!! BILLY!
Krista
That’d be awesome. Sweet little Billy.
Sasha
No, the final cylon is obviously Boxey.