For those of you at work, one f-bomb, so easy on the sound.

This sounds like quite a play:

A playwright and filmmaker who splits his time between New York and Los Angeles is writing a fictionalized play about former senator Larry Craig’s 2007 arrest in an airport men’s room sex sting, The Sleuth has learned.

The work-in-progress, titled—what else?—“Wide Stance,” is already scheduled for a debut reading in Craig’s hometown of Boise…

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Still, the men’s room stall may make a cameo in Kirkman’s play. “I may end the play with all six people in the restroom,” he told The Sleuth.

This cracked me up:

(Via commenter Genine)

Every other blog in the world has this up too, but God it’s funny.

Sometimes Wonkette really nails things:

The most humiliating moment in our national history — “America’s Waterloo,” they called it — occurred when President Obama threw that pitch to Albert Pujols like a total sally. Compounding the embarrassment was the pair of high-waisted, pouffy jeans he wore, which will be forever associated with deficit-inflating naifs as surely as a cardigan says “Jimmy Carter.”

These are the kinds of horrors that await us when we become an Asian/Hispanic/Black majority country.

The third guy really explores the studio space.

(via one of Sully’s stunt stand-ins)

Thers—subbing for Atrios—dug up this explanation of Bobo-stroke from a conservative blogger:

Perhaps the Republican Senator just periodically patted him on the thigh and technically the fingers extended into the inner part.

The latest from Sanford cracked me up:

I have been doing a lot of soul searching on that front. What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily, he fell in very very significant ways. But then picked up the pieces and built from there.

TPM’s Zach Roth nails it:

As King of Israel and Judea, David saw Bathsheba in the bath (he was walking on the roof at the time, goes the story) and immediately had to have her. After getting her pregnant, he tried to conceal it by ordering her husband Uriah to return from war and sleep with Bathsheba, so that the baby would be thought of as Uriah’s.

But Uriah preferred to remain at war. So David gave an order that Uriah should be abandoned in battle, ensuring his death. Then he married Bathsheba.

When all this came out—thanks to an intrepid reporter from the Bethlehem-based State, who was tipped to emails exchanged between David and Bathsheba, then staked out David at the Jerusalem airport—David refused to resign as king of Judea. His presidential hopes also took a hit.

I was beginning to really sympathize with the guy, but Biblical self-references are a deal-breaker for me.

Breibart’s crazed rant at Gawker borders on performance art.

Am I the only one who is reminded of those old Chris Elliot bits?

You probably heard a bit about the success of Sweden’s pirate party in yesterday’s elections. Here’s my favorite Swedish pirate prank:

Antipiratbyrån lawyer Henrik Pontén, one of the Pirate Bay’s arch rivals, had quite a surprise recently when he received an unexpected piece of mail. The letter from the Swedish tax authority informed him that his request for a name change had been accepted and from now on, he would be officially known as ‘Pirate Pontén’.

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“The pirate movement have previously tried threats and when that doesn’t work, they do this,” Pontén told Aftonbladet.

Good stuff, as you’d expect:

It’s a classic peasant mentality: going into fits of groveling and bowing whenever the master’s carriage rides by, then fuming against the Turks in Crimea or the Jews in the Pale or whoever after spending fifteen hard hours in the fields. You know you’re a peasant when you worship the very people who are right now, this minute, conning you and taking your shit. Whatever the master does, you’re on board. When you get frisky, he sticks a big cross in the middle of your village, and you spend the rest of your life praying to it with big googly eyes. Or he puts out newspapers full of innuendo about this or that faraway group and you immediately salute and rush off to join the hate squad. A good peasant is loyal, simpleminded, and full of misdirected anger. And that’s what we’ve got now, a lot of misdirected anger searching around for a non-target to mis-punish…

NASA comes up with a consolation prize:

Colbert received more than 230,000 votes out of 1 million, but NASA reserved the right to be the final arbiter.

While it wasn’t the leading vote-getter, Tranquility was one of the top 10 suggestions submitted by respondents to the online poll, which ended March 20, NASA said in a statement. It was selected in part because of a connection to the 1969 first manned lunar landing.

“Apollo 11 landed on the moon at the Sea of Tranquility 40 years ago this July,” said William Gerstenmaier, NASA’s associate administrator for space operations. “We selected Tranquility because it ties it to the exploration and the moon, and symbolizes the spirit of international cooperation embodied by the space station.”

As a consolation prize to the comedian, Gerstenmaier said NASA is naming “its new space station treadmill the Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, or COLBERT.”

I’m sure this has been great publicity for NASA and they love it.

Some of you had mentioned the Shuster piece on MSNBC last night, but I had no idea it was this over the top:

That was almost like an SNL skit.

*** Update ***

The title to this post is a Family Guy reference.

Tragic name:

Having conquered the world of passenger vehicles, General Motors Corp. showed off its vision of future transportation today that’s either exciting or frightening, depending on whether one cares about driving.

GM and Segway unveiled the Project PUMA, a two-seat rickshaw minus a rick that uses the Segway’s electric systems to glide around on two wheels. Capable of carrying 700 pounds in a frame about half the size of a Smart car, the PUMA (Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility) can spin on a pin and “bows” to let passengers in and out.

I think this clears up any doubts over whether firing Wagoner was a good idea. At any rate, due to the tragic name, this photoshopping was just inevitable (the third picture killed me).

Submit to me your own photoshop entrants via email or in the comments.

Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza, visited Gitmo last week and here’s what she reported:

We arrived in Gitmo on Friday and stared going around the town, everybody knew Crystle and I were coming so the first thing we did was attend a big lunch and then we visited one of the bars they have in the base. We talked about Gitmo and what is was like living there. The next days we had a wonderful time, this truly was a memorable trip! We hung out with the guys from the East Coast and they showed us the boat inside and out, how they work and what they do, we took a ride around the land and it was a loooot of fun!

We also met the Military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the Army were amazing with us.

We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting.

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I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.

That’s probably just the honey-and-ginger chicken talking.