I know that we try to eschew jokes about appearances (in my case, glass houses and all that), but I am just going to note that this is NOT a good look for someone seeking the nomination to be President:
He looks like like one part Pappy and one part Herbie the Love Bug. Obligatory video:
Unabogie
Wait, that’s not Photoshopped?!??
Tom Levenson
bigfootee here, but I’ll admit that it’s in a good cause.
schrodinger's cat
He is looking rather Tunchesque!
kuvasz
William Howard Daft
KG
it’s tough for bigger guys to look good in baseball uniforms (see CC Sabathia and/or Bartolo Colon), and that one does look a bit tighter than it should be… but it’s not the dumbest thing we’ve seen a presidential candidate wear.
Germy Shoemangler
Why is he balancing the ball on the tops of his fingertips?
And is that even a baseball? It looks like a snowball.
eric
I imagine the NJPD were not amused.
captnkurt
“We could hire our own obnoxious, outta-shape guy, even more obnoxious, and more outta shape than him!”
“Wouldn’t we look like a bunch a Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our outta-shape guy, doesn’t matter how flabby!”
Thoughtcrime
I spot camel toe.
Chris Christie is quite an androgynous name.
Germy Shoemangler
It actually looks like someone photoshopped around his hips, cropping him to look exquisitely svelte.
But not professional photoshop work. Definitely someone’s nephew did this for a few bucks.
mdblanche
Babe Ruth Chris(tie)
Iowa Old Lady
For some reason, that picture made me feel sorry for Christie. I don’t think I can forgive you for that, Cole.
jon
Body-shaming, even of cameltoe, isn’t a good thing. Making fun of an arrogant blowhard? I’m good with Pappy references and just saying it’s not a good look.
You’ve navigated a narrow channel there, Cole. Consider yourself commended.
Poopyman
@Tom Levenson: Gotta admit that Cole is democratic in his bigfooting, in that he doesn’t give a shit when and whom his posts hit.
The governor would have been better served to have come out in full catcher’s gear, thereby reminding everyone that he actually did play the position, while (sorta) covering his bulk.
trollhattan
@kuvasz:
I rank that right up there with the Outlaw Jersey Whale. Well played!
And so Rih Perry decides HE’S got a shot, too. I truly did not think the Republicans could repeat the clowncar load they amassed for 2012, much less triple it. Holy cow, the money men must be beside themselves.
Germy Shoemangler
That’s not a baseball. It’s a fushigi ball.
Well played, Mr. Christie! You’ve got my vote!
Germy Shoemangler
From the Onion:
Cacti
Has Christie not heard that baggy baseball trousers tend to be the aesthetic choice for the larger players?
srv
Where’s his Cowboys outfit?
Elizabelle
Dare I say he looks a little thinner?
And, as others noticed: camel toe. Not rocking a good look.
Fess up: is it real, and where’s the photo from?
Thoughtcrime
Meanwhile, much more relevant Christy news: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/just-when-christie-thinks-hes-outta-bridgegate-it-pulls-him-back-in
Betty Cracker
That’s not even the most unflattering photo from the event. Check out the second photo at this Deadspin link. Oy.
Tree With Water
Christie is a performance artist whose schtick has finally worn too thin for even New Jersey republican half-wits. Maybe he and Pookie can team up (Pookie from that show about typical New Jersians that South Park hilariously ridiculed a few years ago), and revive their stalled careers together. Why not? It’s not as if he’s got anything to lose in terms of reputation at this point.
BGinCHI
I’m surprised they could have a game after the NJ GOP stole all the bases.
/for wingnuts, substitute “inner city youth”
Cacti
@Betty Cracker:
The second pic is awesome in its fully organic ridiculousness.
Body contorted, flab squishing out in various directions, and the derp face of exertion being made.
HOF quality for embarrassing photos.
GregB
Christie is so full of himself that he thinks he looks great now that he’s lost dozens of pounds due to his lap band surgery.
Hellova a front-butt Christie.
scav
@Betty Cracker: Number 3 is just aching to be included in one of those the chimpanzee-to-gorilla-to-neanderthal-to-briefcase-man lineups.
cahuenga
Oh Gawd.
This post should come with a warning.
Keith P.
He looks like he’s incubating a baby kangaroo…that’s sitting on a moose knuckle.
Elizabelle
I am feeling some sympathy for Mr. Christie (more for Mrs. Christie), and almost give him props for turning up in an unflattering uniform and playing ball. He’s heavier and older, but still out there and apparently having fun. It’s humanizing.
Come on. Indict this guy. Wasn’t that supposed to be happening, imminently?
Germy Shoemangler
I see a sadness in his eyes.
It’s not all happening the way he envisioned it would happen.
In his mind, he should have been a presidential front-runner by now.
Aaron Morrow
I think it’s insulting to compare Chris Cristie to Pappy O’Daniel.
At least Pappy kept the reform-loving Klansman out of the governor’s mansion.
(I’m going to start calling Christie “Junior” because they’re both stupid panderers. “A lot of people like that reform. Maybe we should get us some.”)
Foggy Follansbye
Aw, how bad could a president who loves baseball be?
aimai
@kuvasz: Lol
BGinCHI
@Foggy Follansbye: If we could only find one who had actually worked in baseball.
jl
Is that Tweedledum or Tweedledee?
fuckwit
That’s fucking disgusting. God damn you, now I can’t unsee that.
And what’s with the Hitler salute he’s doing? With a baseball on his fingers? That’s a fucked up pose too.
Just, uggh, you ruined my lunch.
SatanicPanic
@jon: pointing out a camel toe isn’t body-shaming, it’s pointing out wardrobe malfunction
just saying
Aleta
It may useful for the modern US to get over the shock at the very idea of having a Prez who has breasts. Especially since medicine doesn’t even understand the causes of obesity. I want a Prez who likes to think, likes working really hard, is smart, compassionate and not a bully. (Both Christie and the excellent-at-bicycling GW are said to be bullies, so no connection to weight there.) Some experience in public school or at not always being upper class would be good, too. I’d hate to lose a good candidate just because her belly bulges out unless s/he wears spanx which cuts off the oxygenated blood supply to his brain and then there we are with Reagan again.
Fourten
That’s a far as this post should have gone John, there is plenty wrong with this man that has little to do with his appearance. Weight might be more controllable than other appearance-related issues but it’s only a narrow half-step down at most and one not worth taking.
Quaker in a Basement
Pappy, we need to git us some of that ree form.
Chet
President FUPA
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
I wuz robbed. I thought this was gonna be a run up to the Belmont thread. I’ll pretend it is! I think American Pharoah is the big horse – one of those that come along not real often. And when Wayne Lukas says a horse (that’s not in his barn) is special, I pay attention.
The gray colt Frosted has me concerned for the possibility of a triple crown. He’s got better breeding for stamina behind him. But I look at what Lukas said, then think that if any horse in recent memory can outrun his pedigree, it’s this big bay colt.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Thoughtcrime: I hate you.
Tree With Water
In all seriousness, from what I gather Christie is probably going to be indicted sometime soon, or down the road a piece (not that it apparently matters a lot to most republicans, cough-Rick Perry-cough). At the very least an indictment is within the realm of possibility. I’m the type to sweat if my vehicle registration tags are expired. Yet here’s a guy with that threat looming, jack-assing it up in the middle of Yankee Stadium. He’ll never be president, as he well knows- Christie is not that kind of fool. But what does make a guy like him tick? I ask because it’s something I’ll never figure it out on my own.
trollhattan
@SatanicPanic:
Dude has handlers and has presumably learned mirror technology himself, yet they and he decided this was okie-dokie for a (very) public event. Should have gone with mom jeans, instead.
muddy
@SatanicPanic: Indeed. There is a woman who lives on my street who is average sized, and her camel toe literally makes me wince. I am talking about a good inch here, not a 1/4″ hint. When she walks her dog there are a few houses she feels fearful about I guess, because she will start running past those yards. People are always telling her that running will make any chasing dogs more interested, not less, but she won’t stop. I came up with the theory that she was deriving sexual pleasure from the seam of her painful looking pants when she ran, and thus could not give up the kink.
Kay
It makes me sad only because he thinks it’s a good picture- showing his expertise and skill. If it were more spontaneous then it might be funny.
Mike in NC
Was laughing out loud at the picture and comments, so my wife checked it out and said “That’s not a good look”. Happy Hour starts at 5 PM and I’ll be toasting the triumphant entry of Rick Perry into the Klown Kar. Maybe that will finally motivate The Donald, Newt, Rudy, and Phil Gramm to declare their intentions to save the country.
joel hanes
http://www.hapmoore.com/images/july06/babe_ruth.jpg
I despise the current Governor of New Jersey, but I’m a portly man myself,
and there’s a long precedent for less-than-svelte men looking silly in baseball uniforms.
trollhattan
@muddy:
Did not see that coming.
Joel
In terms of unflattering photos, you’re going to have a hard time topping this one.
And yes, the subject is completely deserving.
Villago Delenda Est
@Iowa Old Lady: What I can’t imagine is displaying my body in that particular set of clothing that way. Yet Christie went there.
SatanicPanic
@trollhattan: I see what you did there
JPL
@Joel: Thanks… It will take awhile to get that picture out of my mind.
Villago Delenda Est
@joel hanes: There’s a reason for the Yankees and pinstripes. That reason was Babe Ruth.
trollhattan
@Mike in NC:
Since we’re kinda talking about Republican presidential candidates, if unable to actually count them, I saw this BBC article about industry’s resurgence in Indiana that includes the following.
So, is Pence the Republican’s eleventh-hour savior? Any pending indictments?
muddy
@trollhattan: If you lived on my street you would see that coming from all the way down the block.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
@kuvasz: Winner.
trollhattan
@SatanicPanic:
Not my proudest moment, but unable to resist….
Rosalita
how does a guy even manage camel toe? He must be hung like hamster
muddy
@Rosalita: I sent this to someone just now and he said he hoped Christie did not get the wrong thing rubber-banded in his surgery.
Chet
Apparently it’s not the first time.
catclub
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I have a vague memory of Secretariat running away from the field by what, 25 lengths? AP looked like that at the Preakness.
Lihtox
I suppose there’s a difference between criticizing someone’s physical form, and criticizing their choice of clothing given their physical form? (He’s the Governor, you’d think he’d have a tailor.)
But eh, I’ve seen lots of overweight baseball players, and he doesn’t look all that bad by comparison.
Elizabelle
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I’ll root for American Pharaoh.
Although have not watched his races this year. Usually do, but that (fresh, not raced in Derby or Preakness) French horse running away with California Chrome’s Triple Crown last year spoiled big-event horse racing for me.
Too much pulling the football away at the last minute. So kind of meh this year, although a Triple Crown would be good for the sport. I guess …
Kyle
@Germy Shoemangler: It is a snowball. He’s disproving global warming. Has he no friends who would step in and warn him that “camel toe” is not a good look for him.
trollhattan
@muddy:
You are just tearin’ up the joint today. :-)
Hal
As a fat guy myself, I avoid shirts tucked in pants like the plague. Past a certain weight it’s impossible not to look ridiculous.
Citizen Alan
For me, the fact that he is overweight in this pictures is overshadowed by the fact that he and his handlers were so unwise as to anticipate how unflattering his attire would be. Mike Dukakis got hammered for wearing a tank helmet that was no where near as embarrassing as Chris Christie wearing very tight white pants in any context.
trollhattan
@Citizen Alan:
John Kerry was a sissy elitist on a road bike, wearing standard biking garb; Dubya was a manly man on his mountain bike wearing mountain bike garb. I was like, “What the hell?!?” Owning both types, my election or loss revolves around which bike I choose to ride on a given day?
I bet Kerry has an elitist wooden swing, not a tire swing.
sukabi
Guys, if you’re gonna don spandex, ESPECIALLY if you’re a self professed ‘alpha male’, you’d be doing yourself a favor by donning a cup, or a rolled up pair of socks…. the camel toe does not shout alpha….
Just sayin
satby
@Thoughtcrime: ok, ewwww
sukabi
Guys, if you’re gonna don spandex, ESPECIALLY if you’re a self professed ‘alpha male’, you’d be doing yourself a favor by donning a cup, or a rolled up pair of socks, the camel toe does not shout alpha.
Just sayin
johnnybuck
The horror… The horror..
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Dress like no one’s watching!
@trollhattan: Sail-boarding, too, or whatever you call it (not a beach/water guy). If Bush had done it, it would’ve been proof of his youthful, role-model-y athleticism.
Everybody hear Rush excoriating Kerry for his elitist “exercising” instead of sending his maid out to score the oxy like a real regular guy man?
muddy
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Feh to Rush. Check Kerry out here. That’s hot, you’d never think he was 70.
Tone in DC
I don’t feel sorry for Christie. Not in the least. He’s been a vile, power hungry idiot for most of his adult life.
As for the klown kar, the more the merrier. They’ll outdo each other piling on teh st00pid (Fracking makes ground water better! Arm kindergartners when they first matriculate: an armed naptime is a polite naptime!).
Tree With Water
Off topic. I’m re-reading the definitive account of the intelligence failures that precipitated the attack on Pearl Harbor, and have just ran across this:
“..If Congress had calmly, cooly debated the matter and concluded that the news of out breaking the Japanese codes was of vital national interest, its action would be understandable. But I concluded that Congress wanted to make the secret about Magic public knowledge mainly for purely partisan gain. Certain Republican members of Congress hoped that by uprooting the tree that bore the Magic fruit, they could place the blame for Pearl Harbor on Washington, discredit the Roosevelt era, vilify and destroy the continuing career of Marshall, and throw our new Democratic President, Truman, out of office”.
From the book Pearl Harbor-Final Judgement; Henry C. Clausen; Crown Publishers, 1992; pg. 193.
Clausen was a assistant federal prosecutor-and republican- who was charged by Secretary of War Henry Stimson to get to the bottom of what went wrong, and why the Pacific Fleet was caught flat footed on December 7th (he did, too).
Governance was even then a blood sport to those contemptible people, whose political descendants are today in complete control of the Republican Party.
Germy Shoemangler
I’m sorry. That is not a baseball he’s balancing on the top of his fingers.
Snowball, as Kyle says. Or perhaps a scoop of ice cream.
Or a tiny crystal ball.
ThresherK
@Germy Shoemangler: It looks around the thighs, to me, that there is a thin “racing stripe” down the side of the pants. That may give it the appearance of being off compared to the rest of the photo w.r.t. foreground and background.
The thin racing stripe is a popular enough look now, but to me its sartorial splendor hit the width, and the peak, in the 1980s, courtesy of Montreal Expos and New York Mets.
Plus, depending on what he’s wearing, he could be simply that lumpy and uneven underneath.
mdblanche
@johnnybuck: Mistah Christie – his political career dead.
raven
@Germy Shoemangler: It’s a 12 inch softball.
Germy Shoemangler
@ThresherK: You’re right. It’s the uniform. The thin racing stripes against the blurry background made it look like photoshop to me.
Why does the ball look like a glowing orb/ lump of mashed potato?
It’s the world’s largest engagement ring.
Turgidson
@trollhattan:
They seem to think some of these frauds and performance artists are really good candidates. Amazing.
JPL
@Tree With Water: My father was on the Nevada and never voted for a Republican after the attack on Pearl Harbor. He totally blamed them.
ThresherK
@Germy Shoemangler: From the Deadspin link Betty put up, it looks like an all-white softball without stitches. Brand-new, like nobody’s ever seen in after-work softball.
What is going on in the photo atop this page I can’t imagine. The other photos are much more athlete-at-play looking.
Elizabelle
@Germy Shoemangler: I think it’s Jim Inhofe’s snowball.
And it’s not melted, people. No. Global. Warming.
KG
@catclub: yeah, Secretariat won by about 25 lengths at the Belmont. He only won the Preakness by 2 and a half lengths. American Pharoah won the Preakness by 7 lengths, so there’s a reason he’s a 3/5 favorite for the Belmont. What AP has working against him, and has been working against other horses recently that won the Derby and the Preakness is that they’ve seen larger fields for the Belmont. Secretariat ran against 4 horses at Belmont, AP faces 7. California Chrome faced 10 horses last year at the Belmont. Affirmed in ’78 ran against 4 horses, Seattle Slew in ‘7 ran against 7. Should be a fun race.
raven
@JPL: I just read a book about the divers who went in at Pearl after the attack. Incredible stuff.
Aleta
@Tree With Water: In Japan’s view (I was told in Japan) the US was the aggressor by blockading Japan’s oil supply lines in the far east. (They were already at war and invading countries, just not at war with the US.) A really long time ago, a sort of government-conspiracy-theorist-historian (amateur) who worked for the US army told me that the US did indeed provoke Japan to attack us, in order to convince the country to enter WWII. He claimed that the US had an idea almost to the day when an attack from Japan would come, by calculating when their oil supply would run out after the blockade began. (Since Japan had no oil supplies of its own, their war effort, and their growth in general, was dependent on takeover of supplies of minerals, oil, coal, etc.)
No idea about how true this is. There is some dispute about other parts of the story of Pearl Harbor, such as communications from the Japanese government to their ambassador in Washington.
trollhattan
@Aleta:
From what I’ve read, Japan’s soft-peddling of their WWII role in schoolbooks isn’t too different how the South peddles the “Wowah of Nohthern Aggression.” And the current PM is happy to put his thumb in the China’s eye, too.
NotMax
Have no problems whatsoever with the picture (as opposed to having multiple problems with Christie). Eye of the beholder and all that. Offhand would say he’s shed at least 80 pounds since the surgery.
sm*t cl*de
“My plants are this high.”
Either (1) Out-of-focus spotlight in the distance, or
(2) An Orb.
Renie
Why does he have a NYPD shirt on? He’s from New Jersey.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@raven: I really regret not asking my old man to tell me about being at Pearl then.
lgerard
@KG:
Secretatiat won the Belmont by 31 lengths.
He didn’t just win the Triple Crown, he set the track record in all 3 races. 40+ years later, those records still stand.
It’s a wonder he could get anyone to race against him.
American Pharoah is a nice horse, but I am not impressed by his times or his competition. He certainly has a good chance of winning, but I think I will take a small flyer on giant longshot Keen Ice
David Koch
I wonder if they’ll let him play on the prison softball team
Elizabelle
@lgerard: My late dogs enjoyed going to Wingmont, one of the best kennels ever, not too far from Secretariat’s birthplace. Book early. Your pets will love you for it. Human swimming pool for dogs, and if they are water-shy, they can float around on floats. You have to see it to believe it.
http://www.wingmont.com
Valdivia
I can’t believe no one said it but I think he’s wearing man-spanx.
NotoriousJRT
I don’t like Chris Christie. I think he is a bully and corrupt. Most of his policy positions do not match my values.. But, I give him points for courage if not style. Baseball uni’s are not forgiving; he had to know this. And before his surgery, this would not have been possible. I thought his morbid obesity would be a bar to his presidential hopes. Turns out he had a plan for the weight issue (though not overnight), but no plan for becoming less of an a-hole.
Death Panel Truck
@lgerard: What I liked about Secretariat was that he was a badass and he knew it. He took to the track that day at the Belmont like an executioner on his way to the gallows. He knew he was going to win. Penny Chenery said it best: “He just felt like running that day.”
J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford
@Thoughtcrime:
Me too. Dressing like that…he’s just asking to be sexually assaulted.
EthylEster
@trollhattan:
You think they are happy to throw away money on > 10 obvious losers?
If I had their money, I’d spend it more carefully. ;=)
trollhattan
@EthylEster:
Suspect they’re tearing their hair out because they can’t simply target their guy and get it over with and into the general. And they can’t not spend their money on the dark horse possibilities because if one survives the process, they need to have him on the payroll.
It’s hard out there, for a pimp.
Hillary can’t play Jerry Brown’s waiting game but they’re making her path seem a lot easier than I’d have guessed a year ago.
RSA
@jl: His uniform is an unfortunate match to the Tenniel illustration.
MazeDancer
Seriously thought this was a reference to a kind of Hitler salute. (The ball on his fingers is unexplained since this isn’t a PhotoShop)
Of absolutely no interest is weight. Or body types. Or anything of that ilk. Really, think body-shaming is not a good use of brain cells. OTOH, Christie’s brain cells for sure need shaming.
Sy
Damn moose-knuckle.
A guy
If this thread can make fun of Christie for being fat then Bruce Jenner Is fair game no matter what the gay/trans/whatever say….
Athenae
@kuvasz: I love you, and that, and am stealing it.
A.
Zinsky
Christie apparently has no penis.
Southern Beale
Good lord Chris Chrisie has a cameltoe.
dexwood
@johnnybuck:
Nice. Christie = Kurtz.
Nick
You know at some point, if you’re not going to make fun of fat people, you’ve got to stop making fun of fat people. It’s not just Chris Christie here — this joke depends on the HILARIOUS fact that in this picture, he looks like a fat woman with her genitals showing through her clothes. If you wouldn’t laugh at her, don’t laugh at him.
Narcissus
Apparently there’s nobody on his campaign who will shoot down his awful ideas.
WaterGirl
I had to google camel toe. Who knew?
samiam
Nice cameltoe Kristie Kreme.
Bingo Longer
Also, No. 41? In the Mets’ font? Really? Tom Terrific you ain’t, bridge boy.