See, this is perfectly understandable to me. Maybe he just wanted a trim to even out the ‘do, and when the barber took a weed-whacker to his head, the disgruntled customer simply lost it.
Who among us who has been victimized by a bad haircut hasn’t wanted to leap up from the salon chair, cast off the cape, smash the jar of combs marinating in the mysterious blue liquid and drive the errant stylist away by swinging the blow-dryer like a mace?
I have long hair — long enough to accidentally slam it in the car door if the wind is blowing the right direction — and that style is a direct reaction to an unauthorized buzz cut I endured about six years ago. Okay, that’s an exaggeration; it wasn’t really a buzz cut. But I did ask a stylist to TRIM my shoulder-length bob, and the next thing I knew, she was shaving the back of my neck. I haven’t had a haircut since because I’m still mad about it.
My other terrible haircut story took place on September 1, 1997. Again, I had longish hair at the time, and I went to see my regular stylist for a maintenance trim. Little did I know that my Anglophile, People Magazine-obsessed stylist was still in shock over the tragic death of Princess Diana the day before. In his distracted grief, he gave me the Princess Diana Memorial Haircut. It didn’t suit me.
Have you ever been the victim of a terrible haircut or other grooming mishap? If not, feel free to discuss whatever — open thread!
aimai
No, but thanks for reminding me that I want to get a haircut.
raven
I had hair down to the middle of my back when I dyed it green for Halloween. Little did I know I should not have used food coloring! The other one was when I broke my back. When I went into the ER at Grady Hospital they took my hair and taped it on top of my head. It was like that for three weeks and, when they took the tape off, it was totally matted. This was before dreads so I had to cut it off. I still have a good chunk of it in a drawer.
Germy Shoemangler
Amy Schumer is a lawyer defending Bill Cosby in the Court Of Public Opinion.
Cake for the jury!
Mike J
Run a #6 over the sides, scissor the top, clean up all around.
What I ask for isn’t really ambiguous enough to screw up that badly.
gogol's wife
My mother succumbed to the “pixie cut” when I was a child. I hated it!
WereBear
When I was fifteen, my mother made me get a Pat Nixon hair helmet. I don’t think there was any malice involved; I wasn’t the girly girl of her dreams, and she thought I needed her much-out-of-date “help.”
In reaction. I didn’t cut my hair for decades, and wound up with it brushing the back of my knees. It was a good look for me, for years, but now I do it short. Pretty short.
schrodinger's cat
I once ran away from the stylist’s chair when I was a kid. I didn’t like the way she tugged at my hair when she was untangling it. My mother was horrified and refused to speak to me for a week.
MomSense
I have taken screaming toddlers out of barber shops with half a haircut on more than one occasion.
One time I tried to finish an aborted professional haircut while toddler was asleep in his car seat. Did not end well.
henqiguai
Hair. Wait, you people have hair???
NotMax
Last time set foot in a barber shop or salon was 1989.
Bobby B.
Almost as funny as Leslie Knope’s half perm (before she had to run out and politick).
Mike R
The worst haircut was when I arrived at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego. Nothing since has been quite as cringe worthy and with luck nothing will ever be. Some people should just not have shaved heads.
Felonius Monk
@raven:
This simply does not compute.
raven
I did this for my little girl!
raven
@Mike R: MY old man buzzed mine before I left for basic in 66.
BethanyAnne
Just spruce me up a bit.
https://twitter.com/MedievalReacts/status/600697143175815169
Valdivia
My hair is naturally curly so my brilliant idea of getting a haircut with bangs was a disaster. When they dried it straight it looked great, at home, I looked like a poodle with badly managed hair. It was total agony until the bangs grew out.
greennotGreen
Hair. When I finish chemo I hope to have some again.
Hair styles are definitely first-world problems.
Betty Cracker
@raven: Poor shorn pup!
karen marie
My life is an endless string of incompetent haircuts. Can anyone recommend a halfway competent hairdresser in Scottsdale/Phoenix?
I have had my scalp burned, a chunk cut out of the front (the hairdresser combed hair over it so it wasn’t discovered till I got home), and my ear cut with scissors. I have not been able to find anyone in a year who can cut both sides of my head the same, even when I point out to them that this was a problem with my last haircut.
I may just go back to not having it cut at all but I am getting a little old for that look to work.
raven
@Mike R: BTW, we ate at the Riverside Cafe in Snead’s Ferry. Camp Lejeune is just across the river.
raven
@karen marie: Fried, dyed and laid to the side!
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
I have never had a professional haircut. When I was a kid, my mom would cut it. When I was a teen, I was a competitive swimmer, and we all let our hair grow out until right before the most important meet of the year and then got a buzz cut. I’ve stuck with the buzz cut ever since.
opiejeanne
Getting ready for my college graduation in 1976 I decided to have my long hair cut off for a pageboy. It was down past my shoulders and I was a little tired of it, and I looked good in a pageboy. The stylist wouldn’t let me look while he worked, and I am very near-sighted, so even though it felt like he was taking off a bit more than I wanted I didn’t know the damage until after he had finished. My hair was an inch long all over my head, every hair had been cut uniformly to one inch in length. I was so bewildered that I couldn’t say anything at first. His partner asked the problem and I told him I asked for a pageboy. He looked down at the huge mass of hair on the floor, and said that he must have been thinking “poorboy”. I do not look good in that cut.
Same thing happened in 2002 except they cut it even shorter, when my hair was turning gray. It was a look that was very popular in Berkeley at the time, but I wasn’t living anywhere near there. I thought I looked terrible.
There was another hair incident when my husband dyed my hair but the color came out mahogany with bright maroon tones. I was in my 50s at the time. My youngest’s friends thought it was awesome, so there was that.
Felonius Monk
I was finally forced to face the reality that I am an old geezer when the hair growing out of my nose and ears is longer and grows faster than the hair on my head. I have to believe that I am not alone.
Roger Moore
@karen marie:
So that really does happen sometimes. I was always paranoid about that, and I have to admit that it’s part of the reason I like a buzz cut: no scissors.
catclub
Nope, just the opposite. I got the perfect haircut as a twenty year old. I should have taken multiple pictures to hand to all the succeeding barbers. ‘Do it like this.’
The guy who gave me that haircut died shortly after.
It is similar to trying to find that perfect apple pie, Rueben, fried chicken, or other food from long ago, never to be experienced again.
I think Proust wrote a book about it.
catclub
@Felonius Monk: Roy Blount has a theory that it migrates from the head down to the back.
Brachiator
They showed the movie “Hair” on broadcast tv over the holidays. I forgot how much fun and subversive the title song originally was.
And the best “bad haircut” story was a classic Taxi episode, featuring Ted Danson as an arrogant hairdresser.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNgXrYnHCI8
kindness
Hope you picked new stylists after your bad doos Betty.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Been giving myself buzzcuts for almost 20 years now. Gotten REALLY good at it.
Started on my 30th birthday, had hair down to the middle of my back and was tired of the hassle (not from people, but long hair is just a damn lot of work!)
Last bad haircut I’d had was probably in 1987 or so, some idiot stylist gave me a semi-mullet. DID NOT WANT. Guys in the band gave me so much shit for that afterwards. I wanted to look rock, not like a fucking special needs kid from Alabama.
With only a couple of exceptions – like my wedding – I’ve just done it (or not done it) myself ever since.
elmo
I have really thick, coarse hair that in my younger days was frizzy as hell. It grows out, not down. When I was a young adolescent, my mom actually bought me an electric comb, with moving teeth, because it was just so impossible to get a comb through my hair.
Now I’m a stout middle-aged
ladydyke, so I can keep my mostly-gray hair cut short and I don’t have that problem anymore.Edited for truth above.
catclub
@Mike R:
Check out the New Yorker profile of some internet guy (Andreeson?) Perfectly egg-shaped dome.
Rand Careaga
I offer the following anecdote for informational purposes only: In 1987 my estranged wife (she’d moved out the previous year; the grim legal formalities were complete by the following spring) came by to remove a few more personal possessions from the premises. Her hair had been past her shoulders when I’d seen her a few weeks earlier, and was now barely longer than mine, and oddly spiky. The look didn’t really work for her, I thought. “A bit of advice,” she said bleakly. “Don’t get your next haircut from a pissed-off lesbian.”
Germy Shoemangler
Last bad haircut I had was a few months ago. It was actually the final straw. I will never set foot in a “traditional” barbershop again.
I had a small skin tag on my left temple. I don’t have it anymore. When I left the barbershop, there was blood streaming down my face.
Every time I find a good barber, I return a few months later I find he or she has moved on, and I am seated before someone who has no facility for the art.
I’ve been cut more than a few times. The skin tag I mentioned. My ear was clipped a few times, drawing blood. And a few of the places I noticed were unsanitary. No blue liquid antiseptic to soak the scissors and combs in. I left one place with severe barber’s itch.
Now, twice a year or so, I go to a lady who takes a few inches off. I’ve had enough of the barbershops.
Riley's Enabler
The dreaded “head pyramid” when the stylist insisted that curly hair yes SHOULD be cut into layers.
No. No it should not. Ever.
I refuse to have professional cuts now. They all KNOW BETTER. Nope. I hand the scissors to my ex once a year, tell him to cut one inch in a straight line off the bottom. No one can tell if it’s a bit off due to the curls. DONE, and free.
Layers. As if.
Phil Donahue
My barber was something of a local institution, but he semi-retired a few years ago so going to his shop meant getting one of a revolving door of hair cutters. Last time I was there I got a wingnut who insisted on talking politics, like I’m going to argue with someone holding scissors to my head. I’m getting pretty thin on top and not a big fan of being touched by strangers anyway, so for the price of two haircuts I bought a kit on Amazon, now I just give myself a buzz every couple weeks.
Germy Shoemangler
@CONGRATULATIONS!:
Yes, I love the barbers who insist on giving you the exact opposite of what you ask for.
I walked into one place, told the nice lady I wanted it short on the neck and around the ears, and leave a bit of length on the top.
She tried to talk me into trimming the top real short, and leaving the neck long. I told her “but that’s a mullet” and she agreed.
Oddly enough, she asked for my phone number. Like a fool, I gave it to her. A month later, I received a call from her, saying she’d left that barbershop, but offered to cut my hair at her home. My wife was deeply suspicious until I explained I had no intention of looking like Linda McCartney circa 1975.
rk
My sis-in law had long hair down to her hips. She wanted it shorter. It was a huge decision as she had never had it cut before. So she thought about what she wanted, researched it and went to a hairdresser who our local newspaper had written a puff piece about (he was supposed to be the hairdresser to celebrities). Supposedly the best guy in town. So we went: she told him what she wanted, he proceeded to ignore her and cut it in the style he saw fit. She was horrified, but was so intimidated by the hairdresser that she couldn’t say a word. She went into depression till it grew out. Later we found out from a person who worked for him that he was so arrogant that he never listened to his customers and basically considered himself an “artist” and his work was a piece of art for which people should be grateful.
Roger Moore
@catclub:
Proust in his first book wrote about, wrote about…
Gin & Tonic
Back in late 1970’s NYC, I’d occasionally go to see a haircutter recommended by a friend, who was the only straight guy in a salon manned by about a half-dozen leather-bar denizens (guys who would spend their weekends at The Mine Shaft and similar places, for those who recall those times.) Most of the time he was so hyperactively coked-up that a simple haircut would take hours – it’d look great, but damn, what a production. And the rest of the crowd in the place provided plenty of entertainment.
Omnes Omnibus
I hate getting haircuts. It’s not that any of them has ever been disastrous but rather that they are frequently just “off” enough that I am bothered but I don’t cause small children to run screaming for their mothers (well, no more than usual). I twice found someone who did what I wanted every time. The first was an old school barber who then retired and the second moved to Florida with her boyfriend. The person I am going to now might make number three. I’ve only been going to her since just before Christmas, so it’s only been two haircuts. Time will tell.
Benw
@Roger Moore: love the feel of a fresh head shave right before a race; makes me feel so fast.
MattF
The blue stuff is Barbicide. I know, it sounds bad for the barber– but going by what I read here, he/she deserves it.
raven
@Benw: Except that t-shirts don’t slide over the skull when freshly shaved!
Poopyman
For 19 years I’ve gone to the local hair salon for a monthly 7 AM appointment. The one stylist who’s there at that hour (she was recommended to me) fits me in among all the bluehairs who come in for the weekly/monthly do.
Two weeks ago she retired at 70, and I’m now bereft, wondering what I’m going to do come the second week of June.
Germy Shoemangler
I went through a traditional barbershop phase. I was tired of sitting in the mall unisex salons surrounded by senior ladies getting their hair died. I wanted real men by God cutting my hair, just like the old days™!
Problem is, most of the old timers who knew how to properly taper my neck and clip neatly around my ears have long since shuffled off this mortal coil. The new guys made me look like Petraeus. And they insisted on parting my hair right over my left ear, ala Pat Buchanan.
That, plus the only reading material while I waited being the NYPost and fox news on the teevee, and hearing the other customers talking about their desire to see various democratic politicians line up in front of firing squads… I’m done with the trad barbers.
Last year I visited a trad barber. I wanted it SHORT around the ears. When I got home, I pushed down my right ear and found a one inch strand of hair he’d missed. I was OCB about having it short around my ears, but I’ve since given up.
Now it’s twice a year for me with a nice lady. I’m growing it out.
raven
@Poopyman: The woman that cuts my wife’s hair lives in our rental. . . next door!
Amir Khalid
@catclub:
I remember seeing Marc Andreessen on the cover of TIME with a full head of hair. Time flies, and so does a man’s hair.
Germy Shoemangler
@catclub: I was alarmed when I saw that photo. He looks like he just emerged from a birth canal.
MattF
@Germy Shoemangler: I’ve got a regular barber, but– he’s getting old. He shuffles slowly and painfully around the chair. His wife, who is the other barber in the shop, is also good and is pretty spry. The good news is that they both shave the back of my neck with an actual cutthroat blade. I’m not giving that up until I have to.
Tree With Water
I stopped for a haircut in the Mission District of San Francisco a long time ago, at a place I’d never been before. The barber was an old Italian, and as he cut my hair he conversed in Italian with another old guy. When he finished, he asked me what I thought. I almost always answer that question by saying it’s OK, because even the worst haircut grows out. However, this time I requested a minor adjustment (I don’t remember what) and the guy went ballistic. To my utter confusion, he angrily ordered me out of his shop (in Italian-English). I recall looking at his friend for a clue as to what I’d done, but he just stared back. It sure couldn’t have been anything I said, either, because I’d hadn’t said a word throughout the entire haircut. After a couple of futile stabs at understanding, I finally reached for my wallet. But even then he wasn’t having it. He was so mad that he refused to accept my money- he simply wanted me out. So I ended up with a free haircut, but will go to my grave wondering what the happened to set him off. It was such a weird experience..
srv
Liberal Pope Francis is not happy with Ireland:
Amir Khalid
My own preferred haircut is a buzz cut: “No. 2 all over,” I say to the barber, confident that they have no way to second-guess or disobey me. It’s presentable everywhere, it doesn’t need combing, it doesn’t need a lot of shampoo to clean.
Just Some Fuckhead
I once electrocuted myself using the Flowbee.
schrodinger's cat
BTW I don’t understand all this trauma about a haircut. Its just hair, it will grow out. I have had almost every haircut under the sun. This thread remind me that I am long overdue for a hair cut.
Valdivia
@opiejeanne:
Those really short haircuts are really not easy to pull off, though some people do it brilliantly. I couldn’t carry a pageboy do for anything. My mom on the other hand decided to go Peaky Blinders style after her brain surgery (the neurosurgeon had already done half the job anyway). And though it doesn’t look exactly like Scarlett Johansson, she’s super happy with her really short hair.
PurpleGirl
I recently had my haircut; it had been sort of shoulder length but being in a depression haze I hadn’t been caring for it for months. So I just had the stylist hack it off at ear length. I’ve had my hair long and short, in a pseudo-Afro curl (very high maintenance was inconvenient), etc. I also found that half my head takes permanents very well, the other half doesn’t, so I stopped having perms decades ago. A number of stylists have been surprised that I don’t suffer angst at this. But then, hair grows back. Hair grows back.
Germy Shoemangler
@MattF: I love the straight razor. For a few years I went to a traditional barbershop. The owner gave a great haircut, and he’d finish up with the straight razor around the ears and neck. Nice warm lather. Looked and felt great.
But his employees would pretend. They’d lather, make a few swipes at the neck, not even touch around the ears, and then towel the lather off. I understood why all the old timers would wait for the owner, rather than sitting with the employees.
I’d love to buzz it all off myself, but I’m not handsome enough for super short hair. I look like someone strapped to a gurney on his way to a lethal injection. For the murder of a child.
Not a handsome guy at all.
Amir Khalid
@srv:
Shrug. Until the Catholic Church changes its official stance on homosexuality, which Pope Francis can’t force by himself even if he wants to, that’s the only thing he can say.
Punchy
Does your husband know about this “shoulder length Bob” you’re taking to hair salons? Secretly dating shorter men, eh?
Germy Shoemangler
Here’s another Amy Schumer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCMEPtp3uls
She gets a perm and meets the man of her dreams. But he’s got a fetish for her perm.
Amir Khalid
@PurpleGirl:
Not for everyone, you know.
bemused
@raven:
Wow, that’s a lot of hair from the little girl. However, spring grooming Samoyeds’ winter undercoat rivals a small sheep shearing yield. Unbelievable amount of hair. We have to tighten their collars after their undercoats are gone.
donnah
I had the obligatory waist-long, parted-down-the-middle hair of the 1970’s. I braved the Designer’s Loft stylist in the early 1980’s and should have bolted from the chair when he told me as he rolled up his sleeves that he was going to “muffin up his sleeves, like Bullwinkle”.
Of course, he misquoted Moose, who actually said, “nuthin’ up my sleeves”. Bad start to an even worse haircut. The stylist proceeded to call over another stylist to point out that he was using all his skills to keep my outrageously huge jug ears from showing. I was mortified.
I mean, I thought I was mortified until he spun the chair around and I could see that he had given me an assymetrical cut, odd part, had crimped one side and stuck a barrette in for good measure.
I tucked my head down, ran out the door, drove home, and washed it out immediately. Never again at that place.
I then found a series of good stylists along the way, and just had a cut and color yesterday. And every time I tell my big-ears horror story, the stylist always says, “Huh? Your ears are perfectly fine!”
Omnes Omnibus
@schrodinger’s cat: It is quite simple. Some of us are quite vain.
Cacti
@Germy Shoemangler:
Also love the straight razor around the ears and the back of the neck, and it’s so difficult to find these days, even at barber shops.
I didn’t think you could graduate barber college without knowing how to use a straight razor.
PurpleGirl
@henqiguai: It isn’t as thick as it once was and the color is no longer the deep brunette of my youth, but I do still have hair.
Face
That….uh….has a….second meaning….that wouldn’t result in a pleasant outcome….
Germy Shoemangler
@Felonius Monk:
You are not alone. I remember an old Don Martin comic. A guy with a perfect handlebar mustache in front of his mirror. It keeps going “sproing!” and popping up into fuzz. He tries to comb it a few times, then exclaims “You just can’t train nose hair”
As the hair on top of my head grows thinner the hair in my ears and noses and eyebrows grows longer. I told my last barber that when I finally went bald I’d simply comb my eyebrows up over my head.
Roger Moore
@Face:
I’m sure there are people out there for whom that would be a very satisfying outcome. But they’re unlikely to get it at a barber shop.
Amir Khalid
@Face:
Touch wood, I haven’t been misunderstood at the barber’s — well, not so far.
Valdivia
@Germy Shoemangler:
ha!
I always assume my hair looks better straight, but without fail every man I have had a relationship with prefers it in its natural curly form. Who knew?
RonzoniRigatoni
The simplest instructions I ever give a barber is “Cut it short enough that I can comb it with a towel.” Since they already know it’ll take me at least 3 months to get back, it works every time. Yes, no matter how badly cut, it grows back. Fik fuk ficcity fuk fuk
cmorenc
When my two daughters were each around the age spanning kindergarten-first grade, my wife was ardently enamored with the “Dorothy Hamill” pixie-cut look for their hair, which by kids each obediently permitted without objection at that that particular moment in their lives. However, by around age 7 or 8, they each decided that Hamill-pixie look was unbearably dorky, and each has adamantly refused ever since to let their hair be cut anywhere near that short or anything like that style, continuing into their adult lives (now aged 31 and 26 respectively).
Punchy
@donnah: That haricut guy apparently has never heard this before. I used to listen to this every day for weeks when it came out.
Omnes Omnibus
@Valdivia: My ex had very curly hair that she would frequently straighten – she had an ionic pincer device of some kind. I, of course, preferred the curls.
Elizabelle
@Germy Shoemangler: Funny. That sounds like an Amy Schumer bit.
shell
Damn, Betty. I had to Google this post’s title. Forgot it was from ‘Absolutely Fabulous.’
********
You do know that mysterious blue fluid imparts immortality, dontcha?
bemused
@Germy Shoemangler:
Ha, Amy’s perm is what so many 80-ish ladies have. It’s really hard to tell them apart sometimes because they all have the same exact perm and hair style.
Joseph Nobles
Just got a haircut. It turned out all right. I’m fortunate enough that I have given myself the worst cuts I’ve ever had. But I’ve also given myself decent ones too.
This one turned out okay.
Valdivia
@Omnes Omnibus:
I use to go old school with the hair dryer and brush. Once I moved to DC the local summer weather (100% humidity) convinced me it was a battle I would lose every time so I gave up. For special or formal occasions I will make the effort and spend the half hour torturing my head. I like having the option of going either way, and have learned to think of the wild spirit of the curls as not a bad thing :)
ThresherK
My mother insisted on cutting our hair. Bad thing for us and she was not good or deft at it, and she was a terrible judge of when kids got fidgety and how to get a six-year-old to sit still without near-shouting, “Sit still! Don’t move” like it was microsurgery.
Now if someone spends more that about eight minutes to cut my hair (not fancy, short, men’s), I start having traumatic flashbacks wondering what kind of too-short weed-whacks are being taken out back there, and what kind of counter-balancing was needed to make it look plausibly like it was one on purpose.
PS This was also true for ear cleaning. I remember her ministrations when I was leaned over, one ear up, for so long that my whole neck and half my torso was cramping in discomfort. Tough to get a ten-year-old to ache like that, but it happened.
peach flavored shampoo
@Joseph Nobles: I once cut my own hair the day before 1st Grade pictures (aside: do schools still do this?). Never have you seen a more apoplectic mom. She tried to “fix” it, but day’um if I didn’t look like the damn fool. I think she bought the smallest set of pictures possible and nary a one could be found displayed in the house.
schrodinger's cat
@Omnes Omnibus: When I move to a new place, I do extensive research before I go to a stylist. I will ask acquaintances whose hair resembles mine for their stylist, especially if I like their hair cut. I usually will stick to a stylist if I like them, drive for miles if I have to. The only time I had a bad or not such a good haircut was when I cut it really short. It was my idea, though and my stylist warned me against it. So I can’t really blame her for that mishap.
schrodinger's cat
@Omnes Omnibus: Aah the flat iron. I has it too.
Elizabelle
OT: U2’s tour manager has been found dead in his West Hollywood hotel room early this morning, after the first of five big shows at the LA Forum. Dennis Sheehan, late 60s, was the band’s tour manager for over 30 years.
Frankensteinbeck
@WereBear:
Swoon. I love really long hair on a woman.
boatboy_srq
Worst experience was when the New Romantic ‘do I had back in that day got replaced by what I politely termed “the Holly Johnson look.” Modern English to FGTH in 30 minutes. Everyone else loved it.
These days it’s a #1 on the sides and a #2 on what’s left of the top.
A coworker recently shed the dreadlocks in favor of something more business-appropriate. I can imagine the halfway mark in that process looking rather similar to the picture. (And yes, it looks good, and he shed about 10 years with the new ‘do).
shell
Losing your favorite stylist is almost as bad as losing your doctor.
Soprano2
When I was in second grade my mother had my hair cut so short it was over my ears, and it made me look like a boy. I was humiliated! She tried to deny it happened, but I’ve got photographic evidence. Then when I was in college I got a $5 haircut that wasn’t even worth that much and cost a lot more since I had to have it corrected. She was supposed to trim my pageboy cut, but it ended up different lengths on each side of my head, and not just a little bit – it was about a 2″ difference!
Now I’ve got the perfect cut and a wonderful hair stylist, it’s a bob that falls about an inch underneath my ears. I’ve had strangers follow me to ask where I get my hair cut. I wish everyone could have as good of a stylist as I’ve got. He’s not cheap but to me he’s totally worth it.
kindness
My first live in love was a barber who cut my hair well after we had gone our separate ways. She was still a good friend and a good barber so of course I would have her do it. One time (early 80’s) when I still had relatively long hair she was in on this craze of using a straight razor for the entire (well most of it anyway) cut. The only problem was Karen was pretty drunk that day and waving around that straight razor scared the crap out of me. I don’t think I let her finish the cut and went back to her house that weekend for the finish. Never let her take a razor to my head again. Good woman, good friend.
Tenar Darell
I don’t really have any absolutely terrible haircut stories of my own, though my mother had a combo perm and color incident which did not end well. However, my bed head and beach hair can be epic disasters. Think Doc Brown levels of standing up, and/or curly frizz.
Paul in KY
@Felonius Monk: Me too, good sir.
schrodinger's cat
@shell: Agreed! One of the worst parts of moving is finding a new stylist. Someone who understands you and your hair.
Elizabelle
Also OT, save for a “hair on fire” subtheme:
The paper of record has published Peter Wehner’s op ed, Have Democrats Pulled too Far to the Left?
Did not read; just reporting that embarrassing fact for the NYTimes.
Both sides, people.
PS: FWIW, Wehner is both hair- and fact-challenged. (There’s a nice photo of him below the illustration of a donkey turned dachshund.)
Tenar Darell
@Just Some Fuckhead: Holy cow, you owe me keyboard!
Germy shoemangler
I remember a W.C. Fields short film. The Barber. Fields is cutting a man’s hair, and the customer notices a dog sitting at attention staring at him. The customer asks “why is that dog staring at me?”
Fields tells him that a fellow was in just last week, and he accidentally cut off a piece of his ear. The dog got it. Ever since then he just sits there.
Valdivia
@Elizabelle:
I was glad to see that getting a spankibg by many people, specially those with data to counter it.
Original Lee
Once I needed my hair in a bun for a wedding. The bride had bought plastic spider clamps and had them covered in ribbon that matched our dresses, and she wanted us all to use the clamps for our buns, which we were supposed to position at the napes of our necks. Due to various tasks I had been assigned to perform in the hours before the ceremony, I left my shower and hair prep for the very last possible moment. Thus, my hair was still wet when I rolled it up and clamped it.
The resulting tangle was epic. I had to find a hairdresser after the reception was over to get the clamp out (on a Saturday night in Skokie, not fun). She ended up having to cut it out and then give me an asymmetrical and very short cut so I didn’t look like a medieval plague victim.
NotMax
Labor of love (with some marginal acting compensated by quality SFX) is the Star Trek: Phase II project.
Reason I bring it up in this thread is that, until recently, the main producer played Captain Kirk. He also is an Elvis impersonator, and apparently the budget was so tight that for a while he sported what appeared to be a modified Elvis wig as James T.
Elizabelle
@Valdivia: Yup. As with Brooks, it’s always more instructive to read the top ranked reader comments.
Often, I do not bother with the original essay at all. Life is short.
MattF
@Elizabelle: Yeah, saw that. A lot of his examples are Dem policies that didn’t work– then he steps back and asserts that any attempt to fix things by changing the policy is a move to the left. There’s a, um, flaw in that kind of argument.
gelfling545
My hair is curly most of my hair cuts have been awful and now that I’m old I have to try to keep hairdressers from doing the senior citizen helmet cut.
schrodinger's cat
@gelfling545: Try to find a stylist who has curly hair herself. That really helps.
Sloegin
Buzz with a #4, and yes please to an eyebrow trim.
mak
@catclub: I’ve killed off a series of barbers. Sad, but not surprising if you consider that I tend to gravitate toward old Italian guys when it’s time for a haircut.
sparrow
My partner has really, really weird hair. It’s like the back of his head is just a giant cowlick-swirl from hell, and pieces are always sticking up weirdly. The only time we got a good haircut for him was in Italy, at a pretty pricey place. The girl kept pausing every few minutes to say (in Italian) “you have really weird hair”. But it was the only time in his life where my SO didn’t have that “little boy with screwed up hair” mussed hair look. It was HOT. But alas, in Baltimore we cannot find someone with the grooming skills of the Italians.
CONGRATULATIONS!
@Tree With Water: Seems to be an SF thing. I had it happen to me at Say Cheese in Cole Valley. Whatever I’d ordered on my sandwich (still can’t remember) so completely offended the guy’s sensibilities that he yelled at me to GTFO of his shop.
I have to say, in general, I support business people who throw people out for their own inscrutable reasons. The customer is not always right, not by a longshot, and it’s good to be personally reminded of that every now and then.
gvg
@greennotGreen: It does grow back. I did chemo. I have had long silky hair since I was a child, that sometimes strangers in the store or school would reach out and touch. that was always weird and a little frightening but it did make me vain about my hair. I know my life was in danger from the cancer that was only found by luck and that being bothered by losing my hair is not the most sensible thing to do but it really bothered me. It was worse near the end when I also lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. The air is full of things that don’t belong in your nose or eyes and the eyelids feel gummy and stick together. I was very happy when my chemo was over and waited impatiently for the hair to grow back. Did they tell you many peoples hair changes? Well they gave me pamplets that explained that, however anybody who was in the medical related field who was trying to cheer me up said maybe your hair will be curlier afterwards. According to the reading, that is random chance and not especially likely however it’s what happened to me. It was quite awhile before it started coming back and it grew much slower than in the past but it came back curley. When I turn my head it bounces. My hair feels like someone else. I was 50 when this happened. I was used to my hair before. for 2 years it felt so strange. It also seems a little less smooth and a little darker. I like the curl, would prefer a little lighter and may do something about that soon. For awhile I also had a problem with it returning to adolescent oiliness but that seems to be passing. I have been having to try new shampoos and conditioners after decades of sameness. My mother loves the curliness too. Evidently she had always wanted curly hair herself.
The cancer seems to be gone though.
I was tired alot for a year after it was done though so give yourself time.
CONGRATULATIONS!
@Elizabelle: I will bet money it’s the same fucking thing that’s been killing off a lot of the old rockers recently: cocaine and Viagra.
Someone needs to do a PSA on that combo, because it’s lethal.
Also, damn, your touring manager’s a really important guy. They can get another good one, but it won’t be the same and that sucks for them.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Reposted due to use of very bad word:
@Elizabelle: I will bet money it’s the same fucking thing that’s been killing off a lot of the old rockers recently: cocaine and dick pills.
Someone needs to do a PSA on that combo, because it’s lethal.
Also, damn, your touring manager’s a really important guy. They can get another good one, but it won’t be the same and that sucks for them.
PurpleGirl
@Original Lee: I did not want to be a bridesmaid for my future sister-in-law (married my brother). But she insisted it was an honor, I just had to. Well the dress was pink chiffon, high neck, long-sleeved with some of the fabric an accordion pressing. (A friend from college said I looked like an over-ripe vestal virgin.) Future SIL also wanted us to wear these small crystal crowns. I put my foot down, said no way in hell because you see, I was already the tallest in the wedding party. At 5 ft 6 in, that’s saying a lot. I told her, ‘everyone will be looking at me, they should be looking at you!”. No way, no how on the crystal crown. I talked with the cleark/seamstress at the store where we got the dresses and she had already gotten some of the fabric so my mother could make dresses for my two nieces, and the store seamstress made these large bows with streamers and the flower thingss like on the dress.
Nextcame getting my hair done — the stylist wove my hair into a pile on top of my head (but not too high) and interwove the streamers from the bows. My SIL’s sister had her hair done to match me — when she went home after getting her done, she washed her out and just pulled it up in a barrette with the bow. (No one was telling her how wear her haird… it looked horrible.)
Thank the goddess I’ve not had to go through that very many times.
Steeplejack
@Elizabelle:
Peter Wehner:
Right-wing propaganda apparatchik. Hat trick of administration positions for Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Dubya. Currently a senior fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, “[Washington’s] premier institute dedicated to applying the Judeo-Christian moral tradition to critical issues of public policy.” In other words, a right-wing think tank. Rick Santorum was a senior fellow from 2006 to 2012, when he left to run for president. I can’t find anything on funding; would love to turn over that rock.
The idea of this guy opining on whether the Democrats might be a little too left is ludicrous on its face, and the Times should be ashamed to put this on the op-ed page with a straight face.
gvg
@sparrow: I don’t know how you find a good one but I had short stylish hair for a time when I was around 21 and the stylist who cut it said I had 7 cowlicks that would mess up the look if I wasn’t careful. He took notes and sketched where they were and the 2nd time was even better. the notes were passed along when he left to the next 2 stylists who both did excellent cuts and perms and then I went back to long hair where it doesn’t matter so much although the 3rd one was my stylist for over 25 years and i would see him checking the notes when doing the perms too. I don’t know how you find a good one either as I think it was luck in the begining. Eventually my mom, sister and dad were all going to him because they had bad experiences elsewhere. I found the first one by luck and was passed on to another one who was good by his recomendation when he moved and the same again when the women moved, then lucky that the 3rd good one stayed put. I guess if you find a good one not near you, you can ask if they know anyone. If you see one making notes while waiting that might be a good sign.
Elizabelle
I iz haired out.
We can have a fresh open thread, with a boxer or chicken in it? They can wear any hairstyle they please.
bemused
@PurpleGirl:
Wow. “Over-ripe vestal virgin” is pretty hilarious. Did you save any pics? btw, what decade was this wedding?
Steeplejack
@NotMax:
Well, Shatner did have Elvis-ish (Elvian?) hair in those days.
Elizabelle
@Steeplejack: Yeah, shame on the NY Times.
@CONGRATULATIONS!: Yes, the tour manager since 1982? That’s a damn near irreplaceable person.
And do tell on other rockers kicking from coke with ED pill combo. Have not been following my rock star mortality stats recently …
jl
Fox News could could choose candidates for their debates based on haircuts. That would put Trump either first or last, depending. Obviously, Trump needs to be first. So that would make Rand or Rih second.
Jeb! has to be there, so he has to get some frumpy points.
Whatever the fix is, there will be real competition to keep public attention, now that everyone will know how FIFA does it. It will have to be good. Haircuts and frumpy points maybe the best GOP/Fox News can do.
WereBear
@gvg: I got MIL some liquid hemp soap to use on her hair after hers came back for the same reason… she couldn’t do anything with it but this soap was apparently very gentle and did wonders; she was so happy.
You might check the bottles for SLS and derivatives, also parabens… these are very harsh and most hair prefers shampoo without it. I know when I switched, a vague irritation all over my scalp went away!
@PurpleGirl: I have been fortunate; my girlfriends are like myself, very simple weddings and showing up was all that was required.
Fair Economist
When *my* son gave himself a ridiculous hairstyle (think a fauxhawk version of this) for school picture day I ordered extras! Within a year he started throwing them away. I, on the other hand, am always eager to remind other people and him of what happens when he ignores my advice.
Elizabelle
@CONGRATULATIONS!:
Except: have been meaning to put this up for days:
We are down one Brother Johnson.
Louis — the Thunder Thumbs bassist — has left the planet, of unspecified causes (per the Guardian over the weekend, anyway). No clue if coke and blue pills are implicated.
Strawberry Letter 23; I’ll Be Good to You.
*sob*
PS: you will see from the photo, he was rocking some pretty good hair himself.
And did not know he was bassist on MJ’s Thriller and Off the Wall. And a lot of other good credits …
jl
Forgot to answer the question. My hair foils all and any purposes.
boatboy_srq
Open Thread? Twice in two days my midafternoon has been interrupted by pollsters for DCCC calling my personal cellphone during business hours. I really don’t care that the material is critical to national policy, or that the survey is only a few minutes: I’m being asked to stop working to answer their questions when I should be working doing the labor that Dem pols insist is so valuable. There are days I think that the fastest way Dems are losing people is their insistence on p!ssing off the people who should be going to the polls for them. I’d be really happy to answer any questions the pollsters want – outside normal business hours.
Humph.
PurpleGirl
@gvg: I’m glad your cancer seems to be gone. I truly hope it doesn’t bother you again. Enjoy the curly hair.
One of my closest friends had her cancer that metastesized to her brain and lungs. Chemo was an on-going thing trying just to keep the cancer in check. I wanted to hit her mother multiple times because she kept giving my friend a lot of crap about not wearing a wig. My friend preferred to either go bald or wear a scarf. Her mother was so involved with the looking ‘normal’ with a wig and couldn’t accept that her daughter didn’t care. She was focused on doing things to stay alive. We celebrated out 50th birthday together but she didn’t make it to 51. (We were born 9 hours apart, same day, same year.)
blueskies
People still grow hair on their heads? On the top of their heads? That’s so… 90s (about the last time I had hair on the top of my head).
Elizabelle
@gvg: Glad to hear you beat the big C. May it stay gone gone.
@PurpleGirl: Sorry to hear about your friend leaving so early. Hope you smile more than tear up on your shared birthday.
PurpleGirl
@bemused: I have a picture somewhere. It was in 1974 or 75. The NY Times Sunday magazine used a picture a girl in it from a cover story on proms and prom dresses. I roared when I saw the magazine cover with the dress.
Bobby Thomson
I love my barber. The top is the only part requiring much skill considering I get the #1 everywhere else, but some manage to butcher it. Fled the old barber over Fox News and shaky hands. The new guy has tattoos covering his arms and plays movies on a DVD. Best of the old and the new, if you ask me.
Elizabelle
Rolling Stone obit for the late, great Louis Johnson.
Bassist on Billie Jean, too. That’s a memorable bass line.
schrodinger's cat
Any one have suggestions for a good hard water shampoo? I use J and J baby shampoo.
Steeplejack
Whatever hair vanity I had was killed in early high school, when I had curly blond hair in the age of Beach Boys surfer cuts. And my hair didn’t transition well to hippie scruff either.
My haircut needs are very simple—my curls (just the curls, not the hair) have almost disappeared with age—but I am surprised at how hard it is to get a good haircut. I had the thing where I would find a good person and then they would disappear after a few months. I had the thing where I would suffer through bad haircuts and let it grow out. I had the thing where middle-aged Asian women, no matter what I said, would give me a haircut like that nice sergeant they remembered from Saigon back in the day. I finally found a great, reliable guy at an old-school place here in Arlington (lather and straight razor on the neck), but even he gave me a bad haircut the time before last. Way too short. So last time I had him back off a bit, and that wasn’t satisfying either. So now our feng shui is out of whack. I’m due for another haircut right now, so we’ll see how that goes.
The killer is that I love the feeling of a good, short(ish) haircut, but I walk around with my hair too long because I dread going to the barber and keep putting it off.
PurpleGirl
@Elizabelle: Oh yes. I remember a lot of the stuff we did that was annoying to other people. I called her my weird twin.
CONGRATULATIONS!
@Elizabelle: Shit, I’m a bassist. We’re down the only Johnson brother that mattered (to the music world; I’ll bet the family feels differently and should). His bass work was revolutionary.
Steeplejack
@schrodinger’s cat:
Whenever I visit my relatives in Las Vegas I just try to remember to use much less shampoo (and soap) than I do at home. And I always forget the first time I take a shower, of course. Takes forever to rinse off.
bemused
@PurpleGirl:
I was right, guessed the 70’s. The 80’s had a “unique” style too. I don’t remember bridesmaid dresses from then so much but I can’t forget the prom dresses of the era. Very poofy reminding me of Gone With the Wind.
Steeplejack
Can someone run down the barbering clipper number system for me? I hear guys say, “Give me a #2 on the sides and #3 on the top,” and I think that if I could get a good haircut and then ask the barber, “Okay, what numbers get me exactly this?,” I would be set. In fact, the last time I got a haircut I did ask, but the woman (Khalid was off that day) ignored the numbers and went all subjective—“moderately short and off the ears.” That’s sort of how I got the bad haircut from Khalid. My mantra was always “short but not military short,” and he did a great job, but the time before last he gave me almost a buzz cut on the sides. Maybe he just had an off day.
Mike R
@raven: During my last year I was stationed at Lejeune and went to Snead’s Ferry many times. A restaurant just across the bridge from the gate had the best fried chicken dinner ever. No longer remember the name but boy was it good.
Germy Shoemangler
@Steeplejack: From what I understand, the lower the number, the closer the blade, the shorter the hair. A “2” would be very short. A “4” would be longer.
But I was seated in a traditional barbershop and overheard a young customer in the next chair ask for a “3” and the barber shrugged. He had no idea what the numbers meant. And i’ve been in mall salons where the ladies ONLY go by number. They understand nothing else.
I’ve only gotten a good haircut a few times in my life. It’s a terrible thing to say. I hate to disparage the profession. But so many seem to be just doing it as a sideline, with their true love being music, or sports or something completely hair-unrelated.
Years ago, there were some elderly barbers who were truly artists. Could taper a neck like DaVinci. They are long gone.
It pains me when I see a hairstyle on tv or a movie and think “I’d like a haircut like that” and then realize no barber in my vicinity would know how.
Cervantes
@PurpleGirl:
Thanks for reminding me about Warren Weaver. Left some thoughts for you.
Have a great afternoon!
catclub
@boatboy_srq: If you ask them how much they are paying you for your time and opinion they often hang up.
Tree With Water
@Bobby Thomson: My one other barber story involved having my hair cut by an former security “cop” for the Scientologists down in L.A. He began talking to waiting customers about how sinister an organization it was, and as he did my skin began to crawl. I remember feeling acutely uneasy at one point because his scissors inches from my eyes- that’s the type of vibe I was picking up. I wanted to get up and leave, but didn’t. Never went back, though..
bemused
When someone gets a haircut that is absolutely perfect, maybe he/she should have someone take front, side and back pictures of the cut. Then take it to the hair cutter and say this is what I want. Hopefully, the hair cutter will be receptive and able to replicate it and not yell, no more haircuts for you.
boatboy_srq
@catclub: I have no quibble replying AFTER HOURS: I actually want to participate. The problem is that they aren’t calling me then. “Paying for my opinion” sounds remarkably like what that d!pst!ck who tweeted the “ROPE” graphic and other ugliness tried to pull with the NYT – and I’d rather not go that route.
Germy Shoemangler
@bemused: I have seen barbers erupt in rage when showed a photo. They HATE having to duplicate a photo.
We can’t win. That’s all there is to it.
I remember the Calvin and Hobbes comic. He’s in the barbershop. Barber asks him how he likes his cut. Calvin raves excessively about it, praising him to high heaven. “Without question, this is the finest haircut I have ever received.”
Then he thinks “Never criticize a guy with a razor.”
Elizabelle
@CONGRATULATIONS!:
From the Rolling Stone obit:
Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/brothers-johnsons-louis-johnson-michael-jackson-bassist-dead-at-60-20150522#ixzz3bMxTSD3g
Follow us: @rollingstone on Twitter | RollingStone on Facebook
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack: My haircut should be easy enough for someone to do. Although I’ve used the Hugh Grant/Bryan Ferry comparisons before, Jim Harper/Charlie Skinner on Newsroom is probably at least as accurate. I don’t believe it is a complicated thing – perhaps I am wrong.
PurpleGirl
@Cervantes: Thank you for the information about the Courant and Warren Weaver. I left a reply comment for you over there.
https://balloon-juice.com/2015/05/24/rip-john-nash/#comment-5350214
I have good memories of a number of people I worked with at the Courant. One professor was convinced I understood PDEs because I made them look so good. “Dr. Burridge, if I understood the mathematics, would I be typing it or would I be a student doing it?’
bemused
@Germy Shoemangler:
Hmm. Are male barbers more sensitive to customer suggestions than female haircutters? I’ve only had 2 or 3 haircutters in whole life which is probably unusual but they have all been wonderful in trying to cut my hair the way I want.
Elizabelle
Anybody watching “Cutting Crew” on El Rey?
Kind of interesting, the few times I’ve watched. One of your better reality TV shows. (Damning with faint praise.) Barbers/artistes in Lancaster, PA (no Amish patrons, yet).
I am amazed at some of the haircuts requested and delivered, and wonder what some of the clients do, professionally, walking around sporting the ‘dos.
Used to wonder that about tattoos, too, but they have become mainstream in the last 15 years or so.
They’re more genuine than the usual reality show fodder. So far.
Steeplejack
@Germy Shoemangler:
Yeah, I get that, but I don’t know the range (1-4? 1-10?) or exactly how short, say, a #2 is.
ruemara
Unfortunately, I’m quite adorable, even with a bad cut. The closest I’ve had to a bad cut was when I asked for something like the cute pixie Halle Berry had back then & wound up with a Mike Tyson.
trollhattan
@bemused:
Have witnessed the Samoyed shedathon firsthand. Friends would brush theirs in the front yard and tumbleweeds of the stuff rolled away and down the street. I’m talking basketball size, and lots of them.
It was only when the dog would go for a swim that I’d realize what a dainty little thing she was–legs like toothpicks.
NotMax
Ah, memories of hairstyles past.
NotMax
Link no work. Try again.
Ah, memories of hairstyles past.
John Revolta
@Germy shoemangler: Reminded me of one of my favorite Stooges bits: The Stooges are running a restaurant. A customer says to Moe, “Hey waiter, why is that dog staring at me and growling like that?” Moe: “Aw, pay no attention to him. He’s just mad ’cause you’re eating out of his dish.”
(No, it’s not OT either; if the Stooges don’t belong in a haircut thread then I dunno what.)
Mike J
@Germy Shoemangler:
Don’t get your hair cut at the mall if you’re looking for an artist. Most cities will have salons where people who aspire to do great work are, and they’ll charge accordingly.
NotMax
Link no work. FYWP. Try again.
Ah, memories of hairstyles past.
Steeplejack
@Elizabelle:
I’ve seen the promos, but so far that’s been plenty. Not big on the “ball-busting and antagonizing.”
NotMax
Link no work. FYWP to da max. Last try.
Ah, memories of hairstyles past.
Germy Shoemangler
@Steeplejack: #2 is very short. I don’t think you can ask for a #1. That would be basically shaving you down to the skin.
Ask for a #4 around the ears and neck, and scissor the top. Then cross your fingers and hope for the best.
bemused
@trollhattan:
I know, it just makes me laugh at how this hugely fluffy dog looks half it’s size when sopping wet. Shedathon is a great word. I do have some yarn spun from previous two Sams, gorgeous yarn. Now I just toss it around our rural yard perimeters for the birds to use making their nests which they do and to repel deer which I’m not sure works. We have never had deer eat anything in our yard ever, flowers or vegetables and have no clue why. They are all over the area.
catclub
@ruemara:
Bitten ear?
japa21
There was a time, like back in the 70’s when it was not improper for a manager to date a subordinate. I managed a department at a large department store and my future wife was one of the employees in the department.
She decided she wanted to try to get my attention by having her hair streaked. The only problem is that the person who did it for her left the solution on way too long resulting in hair that definitely would have gotten my attention, but not in the way she was looking for.
Her recourse was to wear a wig and due to the difference between her normal hair style and the wig, I definitely noticed.
After teasing her a lot about it, I decided to ask her out, and the rest is history, so, although definitely not in the manner she wanted, she got the result she was looking for.
Steeplejack
@NotMax:
Ah, thanks for this. I’ll just order the “executive contour” the next time I go in.
Germy Shoemangler
@bemused:
I have found male barbers to be more sensitive and likely to throw a tantrum. The ladies are usually more easygoing. I have experienced good and bad from both male and female haircutters. I went to one upscale (expensive) place. A Russian lady did a great job. Saw her a few times. Then she was gone.
Her replacement was a younger lady. I guess that morning I hadn’t done a good job trimming my sideburns evenly. She asked, in all seriousness, “do you want your sideburns the same length?”
“Yes,” I replied politely.
In my long life I have had two male barbers throw tantrums. Never a lady barber.
And I am NOT an annoying customer, or unreasonable. I tip excessively and always say thank you, even if I leave the shop looking like a parakeet.
NotMax
Kind of surprising no one yet has linked to the CSN&Y song.
trollhattan
@bemused: Friends who live in the Sierra foothills have a ton of birds nesting in boxes around their property and have seen them collect hair off their giant, lazy lug of a Bernese. Between Lucy and the neighbor sheep there’s a lot to go around.
bemused
@Germy Shoemangler:
I was trying to be polite by saying sensitive but I was thinking big freaking tantrum…
Elizabelle
@Steeplejack: The 2 or 3 episodes I saw were kind of funny and even gentle. Did not tune in for it; more like left the TV on and looked up to find Cutting Crew on.
Guys have a definite work ethic; they’re barbers, but could be mechanics or pilots or chefs in another life.
I don’t see how anyone could make investment bankers or traders, for instance, look as humane.
bemused
@trollhattan:
Yes! Just the ticket for nest building. The birds don’t seem to care if it comes from a dog that would eat them if they caught them.
Elizabelle
@bemused: Birds. The original pashmina users.
bemused
@Elizabelle:
Lucky baby birds get to grow up in luxuriously cushy nests.
Steeplejack
@Germy Shoemangler:
This sounds like a good starting point. If the #4 is too long, I can tell him to take it down to a #3. If the #4 is too short, presumably it won’t be as heinous as the extremely short cut that screwed up my last bad haircut.
The top is not as critical, although I do have a hard time getting it the exact length I want. The overall look is affected much more by the sides.
The other problem is that I can never tell how a haircut really looks until the next day, after I have showered and combed it myself. They always use a tiny shmitz of Dapper Dan pomade or something when they finish, and that throws off the everyday look a little. Although that last bad haircut was shocking from the moment he spun the chair around and I got a look at it.
JPL
@Steeplejack: Let us know how that goes.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
When I was still a cute 20-something, I went to the new guy who had taken over for my regular while she was on maternity leave. I gave pretty clear directions – “just like it is, but an inch shorter all around.” He asked if I didn’t think it was a cool idea to cut my already-short hair asymmetrically, like a beret tipped over one eye. I said no – and then he proceeded to do it anyway. I was so distressed the salon owner noticed and told him to stop fucking around and fix my hair. Sadly, he’d taken such a big whack off the high side of the “beret” that my bangs were only about an inch long there. They didn’t charge me for the haircut, but that didn’t make up for having to live with that distinctive look of a toddler who’d got hold of the scissors when no one was looking for a couple of months until it grew out.
PurpleGirl
@NotMax: No linky.
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus:
Had to go look up the Newsroom haircuts. They do look pretty straightforward, but maybe the (longer) length is a complicating factor? Sort of like “How do you cut something shorter without making it look short?”
PurpleGirl
@NotMax: Wow, that’s some retro looks there. I’m seeing a number of guys with Mohawks or demi-Mohawks, complete with styling gel.
Steeplejack
@Elizabelle:
A couple of the promos put me off because it seemed like one guy was trying to be a good father to his young son and the others were screwing with him about that and trying to get the kid to be a brat.
trollhattan
When RGO=R.I.P.
Once again, a Responsible Gun Owner show how it’s done.
Could Clue #1 be feeling the need to wear a vest when hangin’ with your “bros”?
trollhattan
@Steeplejack:
With all the chat about clipper numbers I have to ask: do y’all check for innumeracy before letting a cutter near your heads?
Steeplejack
@trollhattan:
Well, no, since I haven’t used the number system yet. But since the number is just used as a label and there’s no complicated mathematical operations involved, I should be safe. At least from innumeracy, not a bad haircut.
PurpleGirl
@trollhattan: Let me get this straight:
* a person who isn’t supposed to have a gun until he’s 30, has a gun;
* he tells/asks a friend to put on a supposedly bullet proof vest so that he can shoot into it and see if the vest is reliable;
* was this explained to the friend who died;
* where the fuck was he aiming;
* was it the shooter’s intention to test the vest so he could use it in his next attempted robbery.
Inquiring minds want to know.
catclub
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
Given all the statements here about bad haircuts you would think that everyday I would see another person and note how bad their haircut is. But I don’t. I cannot remember any bad haircut of some other person. And I suspect that very, very few people care, about anyone else’s hair, and even fewer care 5 minutes after they first notice it.
trollhattan
@PurpleGirl:
Lord knows, the RGO could have…I don’t know, wrapped the damn vest around a tree to test it. Never mind they’re doing all this in a city park.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@Germy Shoemangler:
Actually, when you find a barber you like, ask him (or her) to add you to their client list so you’ll know where their next salon is. I’ve followed my current stylist/colorist to three different salons because I like her so much.
princess leia
@gogol’s wife: I had long hair FOREVER. When I finally lost my temper and got the dreaded pixie cut, I discovered that was one cut that looked good on me!
Karl
Military School. Haven’t cut my hair since.
Elizabelle
@trollhattan: My thoughts, exactly.
And it’s not like something very similar didn’t happen, what, 8 months ago? With the same result?
In other news, names disclosed today in the latest shooting at a Wal-Mart. Some USAF airman shot at two people; died himself.
Don’t know much more, but don’t a lot of peeps seem to get shot at Wal-Marts these days?
Elizabelle
@princess leia: Having a hard time seeing the twin donut design atop a pixie cut …
Tree With Water
I love sports analogies in politics and governance:
“Richard Weber, the chief investigator of the IRS criminal investigations unit, said: “This is really the World Cup of fraud and today we are issuing Fifa a red card..”
Sourmash
@Amir Khalid: I’m with you but I’m an old hippy so I add an eighth of an inch and get the #3 all over. They always ask if I want it to be different. Ha! As if! I used to have a lot of trouble, curly hair, very thick, etc. one time I had a drunk college friend cut it. Didn’t know she was drunk at the time but man, talk about uneven. Yikes! Kept it long through college but my first summer working concrete I was dying and went to get it a bit shorter. I asked her how short could she do it so I would get a sunburned scalp and she pulled out the shears and said “number 3 should do it…” And I’ve had that ever since.
Original Lee
@PurpleGirl: Oh, the memories of bridesmaid dresses. I have had ONE that I could wear for other purposes afterwards. The dress that went with the hair disaster was Pepto Bismol pink, and the bride had fallen in love with the fabric and the dress pattern separately, so the fabric was not a good choice for the pattern. We all clubbed together and bribed a local seamstress to do all of our dresses at the same time, so that whatever she did to one dress that worked, she could then apply to the others (there were 6 of us). We ended up being sewn into the dresses because the fabric kept stretching around the buttons, and being strapless, the dresses gently slid downwards as we wore them. So I had to be cut out of my dress before I could go to the hairdresser to get the clamp cut out of my hair. The dresses didn’t even photograph well. $500 down the drain.
J R in WV
@schrodinger’s cat:
Dr Bronner’s Castile hemp oil shampoo. I wash my whole body with it in every shower.
Our water is pH 8.2 and it is hard to rinse soap off, and this washes out easily, and sudses up a ton of suds. Then it rinses and is gone.
stinger
@schrodinger’s cat: I shampoo daily, and had been switching off between Pantene and J&J baby shampoo, with Pantene conditioner, but have recently found Burt’s Bees mango shampoo. It’s great! Many days I don’t even use conditioner.
stinger
@schrodinger’s cat: I have hard water from a private well — softener salt helps but not entirely. I shampoo daily, and had been switching off between Pantene and J&J baby shampoo, with Pantene conditioner, but have recently found Burt’s Bees mango shampoo. It’s great! Many days I don’t even use conditioner.
stinger
crap
kirk
@Bobby B.: “while the cat’s away, the mice get perms.”