A pair of escaped llamas in Arizona blew up the Internet today. Here is their beautiful and tragic bid for freedom in its entirety:
Here’s a tweet that pretty much sums it up:
White Llama: Loner
Black Llama: Thug
— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) February 26, 2015
I have a soft spot for llamas because a pair of them at the Busch Gardens theme park once proved me right about something in immediate and dramatic fashion. This was ages ago. The llamas in question were separated into two habitats bisected by a foot path.
A companion and I were sauntering between the separated llamas. The beasts were pressing against the fence and facing toward each other across the 15-20 foot or so expanse. The llamas seemed agitated somehow, but several people were patting them nonetheless. My companion inquired if I cared to do so, and I said no because llamas spit. He laughed as if I’d said a completely foolish thing.
At exactly that moment, the llamas started clearing their throats ostentatiously, working their strangely prehensile lips in a circular fashion and then launching gigantic loogies at one another with a comically loud PTOOEY! sound, heedless of the stunned and horrified human beings caught in the crossfire. There was mass panic. People covered their children’s heads and fled. “SEE?” I told my companion.
Nailed it, thanks to the llamas, and that person never questioned me again on the topic of camelids. Open thread.
feebog
Kinda looks to me like it might be a mama and her teenager. Wrangling llamas ain’t easy.
the Conster
I bought our receptionist a tote bag for Christmas that said “save the drama for ya llama” with a pic of a llama on it. Who knew it was actually going to be a thing?
cckids
Just posted this in the thread below, fits here better. It came across my FB earlier, made me laugh.
The Moar You Know
Please tell me they don’t shoot them. Because that seems to be Arizona’s solution to everything.
jeffreyw
Loretta Lynch > LL > LLamas!
Connect the dots people!
cckids
Also, Jim Wright’s take on how the llama drama will be reported:
HuffingtonPost: Llamas on the loose in Arizona
NBC: Escaped llamas roam countryside
ABC: Police chase llamas in Arizona
CNN: Mysterious horse-like creatures from Mars invade Alaska?
Fox: OBAMA GOLFS WITH MUSLIM ADVISORS WHILE SOUTH AMERICAN INVADERS ATTACK ARIZONA TOWN!
jeffreyw
The black llama was captured, the white llama was rescued from a possible misadventure, praise Jesus!
Elizabelle
Lucky for us all neither of those escaped llamas was named Carl. No hats in evidence either.
To our knowledge.
SiubhanDuinne
Nice thread.
Thanks, oh llama!
Baud
Llama 2016!
JPL
I know how to use google but were they able to catch the white llama?
jeffreyw
Thellma and Llouise
bemused
Friends hava llamas. When I visited their farm one day, they told me that when llamas are interested in you, they learn about you by smelling your breath. Llamas are big so it was a bit startling when they got up close but they were very gentle and thankfully, none of them started to clear their throats.
Luthe
No llama thread is complete without The Llama Song.
Betty Cracker
@JPL: Both llamas were captured. Or so they say. But some nights, when the tumbleweeds drift away and shadows deepen between the saloons and houses of ill repute, lonesome cowboys hear the familiar clop-clop-clop of an approaching llama. So they say.
Villago Delenda Est
White Llama: Issued a citation and released on its own recognizance.
Black Llama: Enroute to Chicago for interrogation.
Baud
Llamas, like information, just want to be free.
Betty Cracker
@jeffreyw: Now see, that’s the highest and best use of Twitter.
Mike E
Jim Webb gets his teevee audition on PBS News Hour and blends in nicely with their beige set. He won’t stomach the nomination process, methinks.
Petorado
Watching footage of a helicopter following a slow-moving white llama is about as exciting as one following a slow-moving white Bronco.
Karen in GA
Cuidado, hay llamas!
JPL
So USA Today said both llamas are safe and are used as therapy llamas for the elderly. hmmm
scav
Anyone note the APB should have been a three-l-llama? I’ll bet you a silk pajama . . .
eric nny
Lloose llamas lleave llookers-on llaughing.
SiubhanDuinne
@Betty Cracker:
I love this country.
JPL
@Petorado: I cared about the llamas though.
raven
Here’s my Llama movie. We were worried about Bohdi chasing them but we were assured the peanut spitters could take care of themselves!
Mike E
@Villago Delenda Est: WL has suffered enough! BL clearly wasn’t doing it right, however.
Karen in GA
@Luthe: What the hell was that weird, magnificent thing?
Baud
@raven:
Llamas sound like wookies.
raven
@Baud: Yea and my man had the kids honk to get them to come over and eat!
JPL
@raven: What a nice video.
raven
@JPL: It was a while ago when the Bohdi was still white. He’s yaller now.
SiubhanDuinne
Spit-and-run.
jl
News clips where the foot chases are faster than the care chases are funny.
A very small genre, but a good one. This is a nice addition. Thanks.
raven
@efgoldman: He was born in Kuwait.
trollhattan
@SiubhanDuinne:
Stand your cud[lip].
dmsilev
I like how the video is titled ‘Arizona llama chase 2015’. Like this is an annual event. The Running of the Llamas, if you will.
jl
@dmsilev: Do they have the chase before or after the annual llama spitting contest?:
David Koch
LLAMAGHAZI!
jharp
Bring back memories.
I’ve had to chase down escaped livestock. About 35 years ago.
About a 550 pound boar hog with tusks and all. By myself and by a major state highway.
David Koch
MattF
In that vein, if you ever see a rhino twirling its tail: 1) you are watching the wrong end and 2) get back, immediately.
Calouste
Don’t make too many llame jokes on this thread folks.
FlipYrWhig
The last time llamas went renegade, it looked like this
JoyfulA
“Hoofs up; don’t shoot!” said someone on Twitter.
JPL
@raven: He moved to London when he was six.
This a tweet from NORAD about the llama
Llama had no known connections to ISIS. Appears to have self-radicalized.
different-church-lady
Llamas are larger than frogs.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
So, I have news that’s equivocally bad: G was laid off today. Since he was trying to figure out the best way to quit because his boss is an asshole, it’s not as bad as it sounds, but there’s still a certain amount of, “How dare you reject me before I could reject you?!”
He gets 20 weeks of severence, plus they have to pay out his PTO (thanks, California!) and he can go onto my health insurance instead of COBRA if necessary. Still, kind of a shock to the system.
craigie
Our first sighting of the legendary Black Llama Party. Be afraid.
srv
You liberals are kidding yourselves if you don’t think this man is Presidential material.
FlipYrWhig
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): shit
JPL
@srv: He sounds like Superman. I suggest that he take his cape and go to Syria because we want to fight them there, not here.
PhoenixRising
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Yay! 5 months to figure out what’s next, in the best job market since 2006…and he doesn’t have to work there anymore. Timing is everything.
Calouste
So http://arstechnica.com/business/2015/02/republicans-in-congress-already-trying-to-overturn-fccs-latest-votes/:
Either the Republican Congresspeople are really, really smart and work really, really hard to get a new bill ready in a few hours, or they just copied whatever Verizon’s lobbyist send them into the congressional templates.
BGK
Local teevee just showed Boehner making kissy noises in response to a reporter’s question.
Um. I am totally out of evens, therefore I can’t even.
JPL
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): That sucks though. Hopefully he finds the job of his dreams.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
Oh, no, I am sorry. Even if he was planning to quit, it’s a bummer to leave on anything other than one’s own terms. May he bounce back quickly and find the job of his dreams.
Karen in GA
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Sorry to hear he couldn’t leave on his own terms — but ultimately, screw ’em. On to bigger and better things.
Roger Moore
@FlipYrWhig:
I thought it was like this.
WereBear
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): So sorry to hear! But, sounds like the circumstances were better than the alternative.
Once had a horrible job and they harassed me until I quit. No unemployment. So the next time a job went sour, I hung in until they fired me, got unemployment, learned to code, and got a much better job.
Another Holocene Human
PBS Newshour giving bullshit artist Jim Webb quality time on its broadcast. That’s a good thing because the longer he talks the more he resembles Bill O’Reilly. He claims the Democratic Party is too beholden to Wall Street and then makes some true statements about unemployment and wages but it’s all bullshit populism. He prescription for jobsjobsjobs? Wait for it … wait for it … cut the corporate tax rate! Wooo!
Oh, and he’s only running because his country needs him, just like when Beirut argle bargle. Go to hell, Jim Webb.
PS: somehow the Dems are at fault for white males voting for the racist party because the poorest county in the country is a white Appalachian county, I guess Obamacare never happened, henghhhh?
patrick II
@jharp:
That’s a nice beginning to a story — but how did it end? How did you catch it, if you caught it — or did it get away or did you have a nice pork roast?
MattF
Since everyone is asking– what’s a three-l lllama?
http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_a_three-L_LLLama
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
I was in the car when I heard this a short time ago, and I thought exactly the same thing, in the same words.
And, not quite at the same level of awfulness, but awful all the same: ISIS are smashing up statues and works of art, burning rare manuscripts and other priceless documents, and generally being as thuggish as possible. (For some reason I am able to kind of shut down my emotions when it comes to beheadings and the like, but the destruction of cultural artifacts turns me simply incanfuckingdescent with rage.)
TaMara (BHF)
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Bad Horse had the same thing happen. Two years later, he’s still pissed about that. But unemployment benefits eased it a bit.
Sometimes though, you really want to get that last word in. But I think severance is better, myself. :-)
ranchandsyrup
The twitters is reporting a big ass explosion in Cairo.
Betty Cracker
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): I hope it turns out to be a blessing in disguise — the severance package may make it so. Hope he gets some downtime and finds something better!
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
Thanks, everyone. My one regret is that I wanted him to make an anonymous ethics complaint against his now ex-boss, but he can’t do it now because it would look like revenge. So that’s an opportunity lost.
Overall, it’s a very generous severance package (it even includes free career counseling/job search services) and we had already been saving up in anticipation of the day he stormed out because he couldn’t take it anymore, so I think it will all turn out all right. Definitely a shock to the system, though.
JGabriel
Llamas on the lam!
Who put the bop in the bop de bop?
Who put the lam in the llama drama ding dong?
Betty Cracker
@SiubhanDuinne: I’m the same way when religious crazies destroy art and historical artifacts. I’m horrified by murders, of course, but not surprised by them. When they destroy priceless human heritage, I’m ashamed to share a species with the ferret-fucking scumbags.
sharl
@ranchandsyrup: Yep, too recent for anyone to have figured out what’s going on yet.
Mike J
@efgoldman:
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
I well remember when the Taliban destroyed the Buddhas of Bamiyan in late March 2001 (I was just home from having quadruple bypass surgery, and I clearly remember watching TV coverage of the destruction and thinking that that was worse than any surgery.) I still pretty much feel that way. Just sickening.
SiubhanDuinne
@Betty Cracker:
Yes, thank you, Betty. As usual, you’ve beautifully (and vividly!) articulated what I feel.
sharl
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Sorry to hear about G; that sucks. As you say, departing a shitty work situation and getting severance pay must ease the pain at least a little bit. Best wishes to him on finding a new and better job.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mike J:
Ha ha (she said bitterly). Yeah.
Mike J
@efgoldman: Only because he didn’t think he’d get away with it.
SiubhanDuinne
@efgoldman:
Well, then, I guess I win.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: The buddha said “don’t fetishize me”. He laughed.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@efgoldman:
Ironically, he is already seeing a career counselor (see above “getting ready to quit”). So he figures he may as well take advantage of the free one as well and see if he can triangulate between the two of them. This was his first job out of college and he never left, so he kinda needs the help.
sharl
@sharl:
[Bolding is mine.]
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
I don’t claim to be very evolved in Buddha consciousness, so it’s hard for me to laugh. But I do get the joke.
Roger Moore
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
Getting laid off should be a lot better financially than quitting. G gets his severance plus cashed out PTO, and he’s in position to sign up for unemployment.
Bex
@SiubhanDuinne: Christians have had their turn at this. There were the Iconoclasts and also the Protestants in Henry VIII’s England.
Cckids
@Luthe: that first came to my attention when my daughter & her pack of friends were 12 or 13. They sang it close to non-stop on the car ride to a campout in Great Basin NP. A 5 hour car ride.
I still know all the words.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: Not really a joke but if there was ever a reflection of impermanence that would have been it.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne:
But then again
Buddha statues impermanent:
Should Buddhists keep mum?
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
Maybe “joke” was the wrong word. And I was trying to avoid “irony.” But I do get that the Buddha would have shrugged and laughed and eaten another fig.
Somewhat related: Have you ever seen those incredible colored sand mandalas that the Tibetan monks make? Grain by grain, putting together the most intricate designs, over a period of days or even weeks. Then, have it on display for a few days, then POOF! they blow it away, collect the sand to color-sort, and start over again with a new mandala in a different location.
SiubhanDuinne
@Bex:
Oh yes, I was thinking of the dissolution of the monasteries as an example.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: They did one in Athens a few years back. They threw it in the river. They also do butter sculptures.
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
(My emphasis.) That is wise and compassionate. Thank you so much for the link.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: Pick up Tricycle sometime.
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
I’ve seen two in Atlanta: one at CNN Center, back when Ted was still in charge and doing groovy things like that, and once at Oglethorpe University.
As for butter sculptures, well, I’m just going to say Midwestern State Fairs and leave it at that.
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: Did you see Kundum?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119485/
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
I did. Had completely forgotten it was directed by Scorsese.
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
I used to buy it off the newsstand fairly regularly — don’t think I ever subscribed — but I haven’t thought to look for it in quite a while. Thanks for the reminder.
PhoenixRising
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
Good god. The poor G…what a blow this must have been. Please rescind my previous hoo-ray, which doesn’t apply to his unusual situation. Career advising is IME hooey (my MIL and SIL work in the field and they are flaky, not too smart and overeducated yet starz!! in outplacement–low standards?) but there are some great books out there for help finding your path.
rikyrah
twitter was hilarious with these two. they cracked me up.
Peale
Regarding the idea that the right has given up on gay marriage because they want to turn it over to the states. We’ll see how the court decides, but it seems as if they are using their control of the states to do as much damage as they can in the meantime, trying to exempt as areas as they can from anti-discrimination policy. See also, abortion restrictions. Does it seem like they have given up on abortion just because they can continue to pass laws making it more difficult to get one one state at a time/?
jharp
@patrick II:
I was able to open the gates to the barn and somehow chase in back in.
And just now, come to think of it, I did have some help. Some farmer pulled into the parking lot to sell us some hogs and he helped me.
Suzanne
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Hugs. I bet this will end up working out even better. In my experience, life has a way of making that happen. I’m sure this is hard for him, but this could be a blessing in disguise……
I am sad that I missed all the llama drama! Sun City is too far from my office. I would have loved to watch this.
Debbie(aussie)
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
So sorry Mnem. Been there done that. My SO is trying desperately to rise out of the depths of depression that a job of 27 years(that he no longer enjoyed) seemed to keep at bay. Another drug change by psych this past week. I hope G’s line of work and the current economic circumstances allow for a short unemployment stint.
J R in WV
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
The last time I was drawing unemployment, and intended to use all I had, which was months, I got a job offer I hated in just a few weeks. A friend was trying to wrangle me a job working with him, he neeeded help, and that job came through before I had to make a decision on the sucky job working on a finance system.
I worked with him the rest of my career, until I retired.
So good things happen to people.
patrick II
@jharp:
Thanks for finishing your story. Since you are still here I figured it turned out ok, but chasing a pig with tusks is a different deal than chasing llamas.
Lurker
Ogden Nash said it best:
The one L lama, he’s a priest.
The two L llama, he’s a beast
And I will bet a silk pajama
There isn’t any three L lllama.
Also, too, this reminded me of the OJ Simpson slo-mo chase.
TerryC
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Yes, a shock to the system. Happened to me last fall after 21 years in the job; old leadership had assured me that after so many years, I was invaluable, and that organizational change would only support me. New leadership didn’t agree.
But, I am 67 and was planning to retire in ~4 years, so I’m in early retirement. Of course, taking on tons of debt in the last year now looks a bit iffy (all paid off in 6 years). OTOH, I now have 20 acres of land to work with in retirement, starting my food forest earlier than I had expected. Can’t get over regular feelings of guilt, though, for being able to do whatever I want each day,
Discovered that the “new org” has failed to put any funds in the state unemployment system since its inception nearly two years ago. Am I going to let them know? No. :)
Hunter
Apropos of nothing, but at least tangentially on topic: I was delighted, for some reason (must be some vestige of chauvinism), to discover years ago that camels and their relatives (along with horses and hyenas) originated in North America and radiated out from there.
Still not sure why they went extinct here, though.
mainmata
Life was better for us under the Incas. Weather was cooler and none of these large fast machines trying to kill us.
mainmata
@Bex: Good point. England is littered with the destroyed remains from the Tudor period of once-beautiful Catholic abbeys and churches.