Was just chatting on twitter with Tom Watson, and told him that I’ve avoided discussing the barbaric sociopaths that call themselves ISIS because basically thinking about them brings out the worst in me. Just thinking about them murdering all those people and then slaughtering journalists makes me revert to 2001-2003 post-9/11 kill them, kill their families, kill their friends and bomb their homes into rubble and plow the earth with salt John Cole. I’m getting pissed just thinking about them.
So here is a baby pic. Gabriel, my godson’s brother:
I feel better already.
scav
Babies do good Zen.
Then they cry a lot.
raven
Yea, you and Tweety want to go get em.
Little Boots
oh, good lord, man, yes adorable.
Gene108
Awwwwww….so cute….
lamh36
I’ve got 3 godkids myself.
Kenneth, the oldest is 17 years old.
Dorian, the middle is 14 years old.
And last but NOT least Maddie is my baby and she 3 1/2 years old and glad to tell ya so.
I’m that rare female who has NO BIOLOGICAL CLOCK. I made a decision a long time ago in regards to children of my own and I haven’t strayed since.
But boy, I do love seeing baby pics…cute baby.
Little Boots
who would baby bomb?
kindness
What a cute baby. Yea.
Seriously John, don’t fall into the rage trap. That’s how Fox gets & keeps their viewers. Keep ’em angry and who needs reason & logic?
Little Boots
I don’t think john is in a rage trap, do you?
Iowa Old Lady
I feel better too. Thanks for posting the pic.
raven
Well Rachel is all concerned so there is that.
DanR2
I generally recoil at the sight of a newborn baby, but that’s a righteously cute kid.
Dave
I get that. I’ve been in and know people in a good number of the villages. I do support the action taken to this point, tactical airstrikes, still don’t think it’s a good idea to get involved on the ground. And while I understand the general hesitation on the well sane Americans not to be involved after the cockup of the Bush/Cheney years I’ve seen some dismissive commentary that pisses me off. And yes it’s immediate to me because I’ve had direct interaction with the people that are suffering and yes this is what happens from the more immediate causes of our little Iraq cluster the cluster in Syria and the ratcheting forces of at least the last 100 years that need to unwind but it’s hard to take. No decisive comments here and I’ve mostly taking to avoiding the media as a result of this.
Little Boots
we do not know what to do with crazed fanatics, either at home or abroad. it’s a thing. a thing we do not know what to do about.
srv
Well, you better chill, because ISIS is going to be around for a long time. They’re going to be the Sunni Hezbollah.
schrodinger's cat
Adorable bebbeh!
Little Boots
@srv:
like the Human League?
Cause they should have lasted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqqBs6kkzHE
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
I have an aunt who is a member of a group of knitters that knit and donate those little baby hats. Every kid’s hat is slightly different.
Little Boots
actually, john, kindness is right, don’t be rage-y, you are not that.
nellcote
Can someone please explain why the administration calls them ISIL rather than ISIS?
Little Boots
@nellcote:
cause they spread? into the Levant, beyond Syria?
schrodinger's cat
Open thread needs kitteh, I made it to the first page of lolcats on ICHC after a long time, I present Shakespaw in the Park
satby
Beautiful baby. That’s just what’s needed right now. Congrats to the happy family!
Mike J
@Little Boots: What the fuck is wrong with you? Making a reference to Human League when people are talking about the Levant and you didn’t go with the right song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf4PspAHizI
Little Boots
@Mike J:
see, why I need and love this site.
KS in MA
As far as I can figure, the only solution is to stash ISIS wherever you stash all the other people/sadists/barbarians you feel like killing but aren’t going to for logistical or other reasons.
That’s not very original, but it’s all I got.
Suzanne
What a little cutie-pants! Baby burritos are just the best. They look all calm, but then they do that first giant black tar shit. Nothing calm about them then.
PurpleGirl
Awww, cute baby. Wishing him, his brother and his parents long life and health. And Joy, lots and lots of joy.
aimai
Thank you for posting that, John. And congratulations to this new little human and his family.
Little Boots
oh everyone’s so sweet. needs more omnes, and mikej.
Gordon, the Big Express Engine
Did you ask him who he likes in the Ryder Cup this year?
p.a.
@srv: Isn’t Hamas the Sunni Hezbollah? Can’t tell the blood-drenched god botherers without a scorecard. All religions are demented. Some are more demented than others. Hell, even Buddhists are dabbling in oppression now, in Myanmar and maybe Thailand. Why in hell can’t there be a worldwide Great Awakening in Ba’hai or Quakers? (I only know 1 Quaker, and he uses that term, but it was originally an insult, wasn’t it? Is it offensive? Should I use Society of Friends?)
rikyrah
The baby is too cute for words
lamh36
lamh36
Funkula
Here’s the thing about the “kill the fuckers” impulse: being a liberal doesn’t mean purging it from your mind. It means recognizing that it shouldn’t be enacted as policy. You’re doing just fine, John. It’s your ability for introspection and self-examination that drove you out of the Republican Party (only a few years after me) and as long as you retain that ability you’re in no danger of being recaptured by your base instincts.
PurpleGirl
@p.a.: Using Quaker is okay, BJ even has a commenter who uses it in his nym.
Little Boots
I wonder if john will ever just let me post, without the delay?
seriously, not that I blame him, and the fact that I’m still here is kind of a tribute to his tolerance. but I just wonder.
he’s kind of put up with a lot, but still.
JordanRules
That tiny human is super squeeee inducing!
lamh36
At first I thought the sumabitches had unsealed Mike Brown’s juvie records, but I’m still pissed that the St Louis County Family Court felt the need to do this…bastards.
beltane
@p.a.: I’m not sure that violent young men of any nationality would be attracted to the Society of Friends. It would be great to be proven wrong though.
lamh36
RobertDSC-iPhone 4
Funny, I think about the GOP the way you do about ISIL, John.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@beltane: OTOH there is the Unitarian Jihad.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
I’m sitting here looking at a blank Notepad page and trying to write a 1-2 paragraph blurb for my novel. I spent two hours at Barnes & Noble this afternoon just reading the back cover of novels to figure out how it’s done. It doesn’t seem to have helped.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@lamh36: Good. I am sure it is not just one bad apple.
amk
So, how did that work out?
Relax, isis/isil/is isn’t your existential threat. They are busy killing their own ‘non-believers’.
Roger Moore
@Little Boots:
Of course we know what to do with the crazed fanatics. If they’re here, we elect them. If they’re over there, we bomb them. Easy peasy pie.
Little Boots
@Roger Moore:
there’s that.
Anne Laurie
Congratulations, Cole, that kid is almost as adorable as his older brother!
@DanR2:
It’s easier to admire them when you know there’s no chance the next words will be, “Here, you can hold him!” :)
@lamh36: Yeah, it helps when you’ve helped raise the younger sibs & know just how much fun that is not, doesn’t it?
My mom had triplets when I was nine, and I wasn’t nearly as much help as she needed/I might have been, but it permanently disabused me of the idea that babies were “fun”!
srv
@p.a.: Hamas is Sunni, but not Celiphate focused and have never been effective that I know. Always seemed to be more professional terrorists than clown-car PLO, stuffed suit Fatah or a real army.
Hezbollah demonstrated they could hold off Israel in Lebanon, ISIL/ISIS would appear to be their tactical peer.
Someone following Syria could tell us who’s been winning between the two there. I suspect Iran and KSA have enough money to keep it going for decades.
I hope Quaker isn’t an offensive term, have always thought highly of them.
Roger Moore
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
From the looks of things, the whole damn barrel has been spoiled.
KG
@p.a.: just remember, Nixon was a Quaker
Little Boots
you know what. I need to annoy omnes, with magic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11A8JZ-RDDo
KG
@KS in MA: so, keep them in the Mideast?
KG
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I haven’t got that far (in the midst of editing my first draft) but wouldn’t the way to go be to answer the question “what’s your book about?” Asked by someone you’ve just met
Hope that helps
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Little Boots: I refuse to be annoyed tonight, but please don’t test my patience with the Numa Numa song.
Little Boots
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
so, over the numa numa. but I will come up with something.
Villago Delenda Est
I’m waiting for a Pastafarian Jihad, in which the streets are drenched in Alfredo.
KG
@Villago Delenda Est: Alfredo? You splitter!
srv
@KG: The Kennedy’s and Kissinger really messed him up.
danielx
Mos def an antidote to bad thoughts.
Cuter than MY godson the Marine lieutenant, although I imagine his wife would disagree.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@KG: Sort of. From my now in depth experience with back cover blurbs, it’s not just “what is your book about”. It’s almost its own narrative form and for the life of me I can’t boil it down to one paragraph in that form without it sounding stupid.
Now, a large part of that is probably that I think 98%+ of all back cover blurbs sound stupid, even for books that I like. It’s a narrative form that I don’t get and I almost never choose a work of fiction based upon the blurb. (I use some combination of known authors; word-of-mouth recommendations; and reading a portion of the actual story, not the blurb.) I think the blurbs are almost invariably inane and make a book sound worse than it is.
So I’m having trouble wrapping my head around writing one.
Villago Delenda Est
@amk: I never thought the “solution” to 9/11 was to go over their and start slaughtering them.
The real challenge is to do a bit of self examination and ask yourself “why do they hate us so much?”. Hint: it’s not that they’re “jealous” of our freedoms. Unless you define “freedom” as the right to meddle in their internal affairs in order to walk off with their natural resources.
Villago Delenda Est
@KG: Marinarists are always such broomstick up the ass types.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Villago Delenda Est: I am of the Carbonari
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Villago Delenda Est:
I try not to judge what consenting adults do for pleasure.
columbusqueen
Gabriel’s a real keeper!
dexwood
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Not trying to be a smart ass, but have you considered writing a paragraph about what your book is not? A backdoor approach to help you focus..
Mnemosyne
@lamh36:
I wouldn’t be surprised if Michael Brown had some kind of ticket(s) and/or misdemeanors on his record, because that Balko article shows that EVERYONE in Ferguson is getting hit with petty bullshit charges and fines to keep the town running.
Little Boots
fine, got nothing, well nothing I want to unleash yet.
where the hell is steeplejack?
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Little Boots: Vegas.
KG
@Villago Delenda Est: pesto now, pesto tomorrow, pesto forever
Belafon
That’s weird. When I hear about ISIS, I want to figure out how to get as many people together as possible to deal with them.
satby
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Pesto, I say. Pesto!
El Caganer
@Mnemosyne: And that’s one of the problems with the wingnut noise machine. It doesn’t matter that any offenses that are discovered are trivial; they’ll take a 3-year-old jaywalking ticket, pump it full of helium, and turn Michael Brown into Charles Manson.
Mnemosyne
@JohnCole —
I’m going to be a nag and remind you that (if you haven’t already) you need to get back into one-on-one therapy if you’re not going to be going to meetings. To paraphrase one of the things people love to say about other mental illnesses, not drinking is not going to teach you the life skills you need to keep moving forward. So do it.
Dog On Porch
“..One sweet dream came true today..”
2nd side, Beatles Abbey Road album
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@El Caganer: Nah, Manson is white.
Roger Moore
@Villago Delenda Est:
Wouldn’t marinara give something closer to the traditional effect?
Little Boots
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
really, well, good for him.
Little Boots
omnes, if I asked you for your favorite cheesy seventies music, what would you say?
El Caganer
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): True, but he’s sorta my go-to creepy murder guy.
Mike in NC
Per the Republicans, we need to urgently start bombing China, Russia, Cuba, Venezuela, France, Syria, North Korea, and maybe 10 other random countries. What could possibly go wrong?
Little Boots
@Mike in NC:
for some weird reason, Jack Kemp came up today. I have no idea why, but it occurred to me, he was probably the last decent republican. not one since. weird.
beltane
@Mike in NC: Don’t forget Iran. Their feelings get hurt when you leave them off lists like that.
JoyceH
I’m not sure how Open this Open Thread is, as in – is it open to shameless self-promotion? If not, feel free to delete this post. If so, here goes:
From now through Sunday, my Regency romance, A Feather To Fly With, is on sale for 99 cents. This deal won’t last! You can find it here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IMMIUVY/ref=cm_cd_asin_lnk
And to make this post more palatable, here is a picture of my sweet and beautiful dog:
https://joyceharmon.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/jazzydogday.jpg
lamh36
@Anne Laurie: yes ma’am. My two youngest sisters were born when I was between the ages of 14-16. The youngest being almost half my age, felt the same as being a teenage mother.
Probably the BEST birth control EVER!
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Little Boots: This song is associated with some very good memories. Like walking out of an overpriced nightclub in Davos and hear it blasting out of a ramshackle doorway on a back street – thus discovering the best dive bar in Davos. I prefer ski resort dive bars to overpriced nightclubs by a great margin (even in Switzerland).
ETA: To be clear, the good memories are from the 80s and 90s.
ETAA: I am also partial to that collection sold on TV. What was its name> It had some of cheesiest songs, but it was trashy fun.
Little Boots
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
oh, I knew you could not pick an actual cheesy song. nothing not awesome about that.
Mnemosyne
@JoyceH:
I’ve meaning to buy it (longtime Regency fan from way back) and now I have an excuse — thanks!
WaterGirl
@JoyceH: What a beautiful dog!!
WaterGirl
Cole, what an adorable little human! So very cute. And sweet!
For god’s sake, though, please rescue him for that straight jacket! Seeing him swaddled like that makes me antsy.
Congratulations!
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Little Boots: Okay, this. Swimming lessons 1973. Kid named Willy in my class. Instructor sang the song at him all the time. She was pretty in a ’70s swimming instructor sort of way – at least she was to someone who turned 9 that summer. The song brings her to mind.
Mart
I try to temper my evil thoughts about ISIS by wearing the other guys shoes.
USA, drone punching Muslim wedding parties since 1991. It ain’t barbaric head chopping, but if you are a young Muslim on youtube, it is barbaric bombing. Of Muslims, in what, 5 countries?
Think the head choppers and the Cheney’s are both working the same grift. We gotta stop getting sucked in by these maggots. No good ever comes of it.
Let the Saudis use some of that sweet USA arrmament; and take their own sweet videos of blowing up Arabs in Toyota pick-up trucks. Let them deal with the blowback.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@JoyceH: What the hell. I’m in. The blurb sold me.
Beth in VA
@Little Boots: you are brilliant, Boots
WaterGirl
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): It does sound fun! If I had a kindle, I’d buy it.
Maybe her blurb will inspire you. :-) Check out the blurb for the Don’t Tell My Parents I’m a Supervillian book that someone here authored. That blurb really pulled me in and I immediately bought it for my niece.
In both blurbs, the main character is doing something unconventional, and I find myself rooting for both of them. Is there any angle like that in your book that you could use to pull the reader in with the blurb for your book?
Both pulled me in immediately because they pulled me in emotionally. Is your girl a rebel in any way? Fighting against the odds? Anything like that?
P.S. I suck. I should have worked on your resume today and I did something else entirely. I haven’t forgotten, though, so there’s that!
Suzanne
@satby: No arrabiatists? God, even in a made-up religion, I’m a weirdo.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Little Boots: @Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Or this.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@WaterGirl: It’s okay. I’m consumed with the plans for getting this book published right now. It’s something I control.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Oh, look, after six hours I have two sentences done.
KS in MA
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
Ha, thanks for that. The U-U Jihad is still a hoot after all these years!
KS in MA
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
That’s a terrific 2 sentences! Please continue.
(Everybody I know says this part is harder than writing the book … and you obviously know that. Courage!)
Jebediah, RBG
@schrodinger’s cat:
Nice!
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): A thought… Does your protagonist have perceived contradictions? Girly girl off ice and fighting through injuries on ice, etc. If so, play to that. “No one who hadn’t seen her play would have ever suspected that tiny Phoebe Rose had garnered more penalty minutes than any high school hockey player in North Dakota history – male or female….”
WaterGirl
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I like it! She has a cool name, a positive dream, a past that is intriguing, and it’s hopeful.
For what it’s worth:
I might think about finding a different word than “nightmare”, though. I read that word and think maybe sexual abuse. I want to know more about her childhood, but I’m not really up for reading about that in a novel I might be reading for fun. And if it is about sexual abuse, I think it might be best to say it more explicitly, so people have a warning.
Why was her childhood a nightmare?
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@WaterGirl:
To know that you need to buy the book.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@WaterGirl: Actually, you got it in one. And I am trying to figure out how to work that in.
Violet
What an adorable baby! Is your godson excited to be a big brother?
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@WaterGirl:
“Demons from her childhood”
WaterGirl
What about?
Question: does she prevail? how graphic is what we learn about the nightmare of her childhood? is her childhood 1/10 of the book? half the book? just a few pages?
I think that I would want to have a sense of that before I decided whether to buy the book.
Edited to help Phoebe rose sound more powerful and not helpless.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@WaterGirl: Do you work as an editor? That was good.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@WaterGirl: The narrative starts right where the blurb does: with her arrival in Minnesota. Her childhood is told in flashback (less than 10% of the current word count) and the actual sexual abuse probably takes up less than a page. Direct mentions of it in the past are somewhat longer, but the focus is on recovery and building relationships in college and as an adult.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I really appreciate your saying that!
No, not an editor, though I do enjoy writing and editing when I am in the mood.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@WaterGirl: I was a law review editor. I edited articles by outside authors (law professors and judges); you would not believe the tact required to reword something. And because of their status in the profession versus mine as a law student, I had a very light hand. I corrected grammatical errors and fixed some syntax. If you were at the top of Jimmy Carter’s short list for Supreme Court nominees, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
WaterGirl
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):As I said, if I were looking for a fun novel to read, I might be wary of the topic. I think I would look for cues in the blurb that would let me know how much time was spent in the difficult past.
The answers to these questions would give me cues about whether this book is for me or not. Maybe hearing the questions will give you some idea of where to go next with the blurb?
Is she fierce? strong? happy? or is she mostly struggling, or is she overcoming her past?
is the story inspirational?
who is your audience? people who might have an interest in hockey or sports? anybody who likes an interesting story? is it more of a book to help people who might have a similar past?
is it a really heavy book or a (mostly) upbeat or happy story?
is it parts of her past interspersed with the present?
Tenar Darell
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): From lifelong reading, i think of a Blurb as the functional equivalent of an elevator pitch or cocktail party explanation of what your novel is about without giving away your intellectual property, or this case the ending.
I think you really only need 3-5 sentences to intrigue readers, especially if you’re also providing a sample chapter or two. I’m already intrigued a bit from those first couple. I think you’re on the right track. You’re self publishing, so I’m guessing that since this is a significant sales tool you’re all nerves. If there are friends or a writers group who have read the novel and you would feel comfortable getting feedback from once you’ve got 3 plus sentences, that might help too. Best wishes!
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): I’ll bet that was tricky! Yikes. Good way to learn to be diplomatic, if you weren’t already.
You want what is published to present them in a good light, but you need a very light hand, indeed. I guess that’s why they paid you the big bucks. :-)
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@WaterGirl:
At various times all of the above.
I don’t know. People will have to decide that for themselves.
I like to think that it’s for anyone who likes an interesting story. It isn’t intended as any sort of self help book.
Again, people will have to decide that for themselves. This is what I hate about trying to boil it down to a blurb: it’s more complicated than these questions get at. It is, at various points, every single thing you mention. If it has to fit into these boxes I should just give up now.
The first half is her first two years of college with flashbacks to her past; the flashbacks are currently presented in reverse chronological order though I’m not entirely happy with that. The second half is the rest of her life in college interspersed with the first ten years of her adulthood.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@WaterGirl: I got $350 a month and something to put on my resume. While I don’t always demonstrate it here, diplomacy is actually one my my primary skills. I have always been better at getting client what he/she.it wants through a settlement than though actual litigation. Also, during my army career, I almost always got tagged to be a VIP escort officer. Charm, an ability to bullshit a bit, and the capability of keeping people away from what we don’t want them to see. Chatting with some German Prince who trout fishes in the Tetons about my experiences climbing there with my dad. Stuff like that.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
To expand on that last comment, these just are not the kinds of questions I ask when I’m trying to decide if I want to read a book. You seem to be coming at it from a direction that’s alien to me.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Can you outsource your blurb? Give a copy of the book to someone who is good at that sort of thing and let them do it?
Tenar Darell
@JoyceH: Thank you very much. Bought it.
Mnemosyne
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Speaking strictly as a reader, the one thing I would most want to know is if it has a hopeful (or at least neutral) tone or a sad one, which is usually determined by the ending. It can be disconcerting to be reading a book that suddenly switches tone partway through. It can work, artistically, but it’s really hard to pull off and can end up seeming like a cheap copout, either a contrived “Hollywood ending” or an even more contrived “downer ending.”
I know it’s not really a sports book, but I’ll put it in sports movie terms: is it Rudy (optimistic hero ending), Tin Cup (neutral ending), or Brian’s Song (downer ending)?
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): Not really. Even if you have someone else write the blurb (and I assume that most traditionally published books do have someone in marketing write what you see on the back cover) you still have to go through much the same process so that you have an answer you’re comfortable giving when someone asks you, “So what’s your book about?”
One way or another, I need to be able to rattle that off, so I might as well write the blurb.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Mnemosyne: I have a Rom-Com screenplay concept where the couple go through the usual motions and then are hit by a bus right after they get together. I have been told that is is not commercially viable.
WaterGirl
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): no caps, kitty in lap, typing one handed.
mostly asking those questions because of the sexual abuse storyline. some people might be drawn to a book because of that storyline, others will not. i don’t really want to read a book where someone has a terrible illness, either, so i would try to gauge how much the book would focus on that and whether i would likely be left with a sense of hope or despair.
but since it sounds like my comments and questions aren’t helping, I’ll stop now. :-)
Yatsuno
@Suzanne: Amatriciana or GTFO.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Mnemosyne: I don’t know that it fits simply into any of those categories. I’d be inclined to say, “Neutral,” but I don’t think that really captures it. Some aspects of the ending are upbeat. Others aren’t. And some of it is going to be how the reader interprets it.
Mnemosyne
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Also, since you’re a guy, I’m assuming you never read any of R.R. Knudson’s books when you were a kid. You may want to see if they have any at your local library and see what the blurbs are like. They’ll probably be a bit dated, but it may get you onto the right track as far as describing a story about a female athlete (Fox Running sounds like a somewhat similar story with a younger character, but the “Zan” books are probably easier to find.)
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name):
You could do a short film like that (see “Bambi vs. Godzilla”). But only Godard or someone equally willing to have audiences tear the seats out of the theater would be able to make a feature-length version.
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Okay, I’ll put it in the bluntest terms possible: Does your main character die at the end? Is her life completely ruined by her experiences? Does she ruin the lives of everyone around her? (see The Godfather for an example)
If not, then you don’t have an unhappy ending. Does that help?
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@WaterGirl: Actually, it isn’t that your questions aren’t helping. They probably are in that these are all things I have to deal with. So it’s not that you’re being frustrating; it’s that the world is frustrating. I readily accept that the way that I approach stories isn’t a typical one. I simply don’t care whether a story is inspiring or a downer or any such thing when I’m deciding whether to read it. And I don’t ask whether I’m going to have fun reading something; fun isn’t really how I would describe the experience of reading. I care whether it’s interesting, well written, and is somehow different from things I’ve read before.
But, as I said, I suspect this makes me the outlier. So it’s extremely frustrating to have to try to think the way other people do in terms of selling my own work. As a general rule, the questions you are asking are probably typical, but they’re also orthogonal to how I think about the story.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name): hahaha. I laughed out loud.
I was in the process of composing my reply to you at #120 when my kitty walked on my lap and somehow closed this tab and opened another BJ thread in its place. Then i had to figure out which thread I was missing in the open BJ tabs so I could come back to it.
Shorter reply than my original work in progress; I figured the point of law review was the experience and the resume, but I’m pleasantly surprised that you got $350 a month for it. Much more than I would have expected, which was nothing. And diplomacy as an Omnes skill comes as no surprise to me.
Curious though, about the order of things. So your timeline was high school, army, college, then law school?
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Mnemosyne: In those terms, no the ending is not at all unhappy. Phoebe is most definitely still alive at the end; saying that much doesn’t give anything away since it’s implied by the narrative device.
WaterGirl
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Got it! The low battery message just appeared on my laptop, which is my cue to head to bed. Battery at 3%.
Goodnight to all.
Mnemosyne
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
I was Googling for articles about how to do an “elevator pitch” (which is essentially what you’re doing) and came across this one in Nature about teaching scientists how to do one. It seems like you might relate to that group better than to the advice for salespeople.
Mnemosyne
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Haven’t read Harlan Ellison’s “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream,” have you? Or seen Scorsese’s Casino. First person narration is no guarantee of survival or a happy ending.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@WaterGirl:
Correct. I went to a “good” college. We put people into PhDs, JDs, MDs, and large corporations. The music conservatory is a horse of a different color. i wanted to rebel and do something adventurous. It turns out that, after training, most of being a peacetime army officer is very similar to being a junior executive in a large corporation – with some camping and howitzer firing.
Mnemosyne
D’oh! Since time is short, I’m going to repeat my moderated comment with the forbidden word fix’d:
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Haven’t read Harlan Ellison’s “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream,” have you? Or seen Scorsese’s Ca$ino. First person narration is no guarantee of a happy ending, or even of survival.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Hmmn. How’s this?
Not sure about that last sentence.
Mnemosyne
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Actually, I think the last sentence is the best part. You should start with that and see where it takes you.
ETA: It’s the best part because the previous paragraph (foster homes, sexual abuse, etc.) is stuff we’ve all heard about a million times before. But finding yourself by becoming part of a team … that’s your theme right there.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Better. You are getting there.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Mnemosyne: That sentence is what the story means to me, at any rate.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Mnemosyne: Sure, but those are very much the exception for first person stories.
Violet
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): If figuring out the tone of your book is frustrating for you, perhaps you could enlist a few people to read the book and give you some insight. You’d still write the blurb but they could help you categorize it.
Sometimes we’re too close to our own work to see it properly. Outside eyes can help.
Omnes Omnibus (the first of his name)
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Good. Lead or end with it.
Mnemosyne
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
Not as uncommon as you’d think — I just peeked at the ending of Gone Girl (which is written in alternating first person) and, yeah, you can have an absolutely horrifying ending written in first person.
But I don’t want to get too far off-track, because it feels like you’ve figured out how to articulate your theme. And though I don’t want to shove you into a box, what you have here is a classic “coming of age” story. That’s good — if you can craft your blurb in that direction, it will keep you away from being pigeonholed as “sports” or “chick lit.”
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@Mnemosyne: And, to be honest, all I’m trying to do hear is craft the blurb that will go on the Kickstarter page to try to raise money. This isn’t even the blurb that will go on the book.
Violet
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): If you list her age in the blurb that will lead readers to think it’s mostly set in the college years–you also mention college hockey. I think you said it goes on into adulthood–was it ten years? If it spans quite a timeframe, that might be important info to have in the blurb. If it mostly focuses on the college years–with the flashbacks to her childhood–then it might be good to mention that too.
I think Mnem is right–classic coming of age story.
Mnemosyne
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
If you eventually sell it to a publisher, they’ll write their own blurb anyway. But “It’s the story of a girl who finds herself by becoming part of a team” is your elevator pitch.
Death Panel Truck
@KG: A sect that advocates pacifism. Tricky Dick’s mother was a pacifist and wanted him to be also. He joined the Navy even so, knowing he was going to run for office afterward. Always the cynical, calculating bastard Dick was. Motherfucker was running for president since he was old enough to stump for Harding as a seven-year-old.
Bruce Webb
@nellcote: ISIL vs ISIS is just a difference in how you translate al-Sham (I think). The Arabic ‘Sham’ is roughly equivalent to originally French ‘Levant’ which is kind of but not totally equivalent to British/Arab ‘Iraq and Syria’.
At this point there is not much reason to worry about the distinction between ISIS and ISIL since its leadership has explicitly broken all geographic bounds implied by either by resurrecting the ‘Caliphate’. Which at its height not only controlled all of what is Saudi Arabia and the Gulf States but also North Africa and most of Spain. That is the ‘IS’ just left the ‘IS’ or ‘IL’ suffixes behind. And I suspect the Obama Administration just doesn’t want to flatter the whole conceit behind ‘IS’ and just picked ISIL as a convenient (and reasonably explicit) backup designation.
As our Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey friends say: “N’importe”
am
No need to get angry unless ISIL wasn’t being dealt with. They are being dealt with. Otherwise they wouldn’t be murdering defenseless hostages, which is a sign of impotence.
Just want to point out that John McCain wanted to give these people state of the art weapons in Syria.
schrodinger's cat
@Jebediah, RBG: Thanks! I am glad you liked it.
Someguy
Yeah, let’s have a war. Fuck it! Get your war on everybody!
We’ll be greeted as liberators.
What could possibly go wrong?
LAC
Baby boo!!! So sweet. Thank you.
@am: Exactly!
Cervantes
@Bruce Webb:
I agree with most of what you say.
“Sham” means “on the left” and “yamin” means “on the right.” The ancient Arabs who originally referred to Syria as the former and Yemen as the latter were standing in Mecca and facing east. That’s the origin of the two names.