Thanks to commentor Trollhattan, for this article from the Green Bay Press Gazette:
MILWAUKEE — A Wisconsin boy wrote Vice President Joe Biden with an unusual suggestion for making the nation safer: Create guns that shoot chocolate bullets.
On Monday, he got an unusual response: A handwritten note from Biden on vice presidential stationery…
The student, Myles, wrote to Biden, President Barack Obama and U.S. Rep. Gwen Moore several months ago. It was after the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., and gun violence was in the news. Myles had been having lunch with the school’s reading specialist, Barbara Rankin, when he told her he had an idea.
“He said if we have chocolate bullets, nobody would get hurt and nobody would be sad,” Rankin said. “I’m going to start crying again because he was so insightful.”…
“Dear Myles,” the letter said. “I’m sorry it took me so very long to respond to your letter. I really like your idea. If we had guns that shot chocolate, not only would our country be safer, it would be happier. People love chocolate. You are a good boy, Joe Biden.”
Full details at the link.
This, my friends, is why we have a “Proud to Be A Democrat” tag.
Turgidson
Cheney would have just told him to go fuck himself best case, and shot the kid in the face, worst case.
Violet
Awww…that’s adorable.
Yatsuno
That. Is. Awesome. Loves me some crazy Uncle Joe. Not gonna bother with the physics of the whole thing, but the kid rocks too.
The Other Chuck
What kind of countertops does this kid have?
YellowJournalism
So want to hug the VP right now.
Just Some Fuckhead
Didn’t someone already invent Death By Chocolate?
aimai
I was a little girl during the Vietnam war. I spent so many nights worrying about both sides of the war and dreaming up little child “solutions” like this. Reading the VP’s handwritten note makes me cry, too. Every generation has its horrors and its innocent little children to speak truth to power.
NotMax
Republican-backed group Dentists Against Biden organizing as we speak.
matt
Joe Biden, best VP of our generation, or best VP ever?
Yatsuno
@The Other Chuck: Chocolate of course.
@Just Some Fuckhead: It’s a hella sweet way to die too.
/chocoholic
Lol
Next Dem nominee needs to select Biden as VP. Why fix what’s not broke?
Bill E Pilgrim
I don’t know if anyone has said this, but I’d just like to nominate Jonathan Karl “the Reinhart and Rogoff of the Libya “scandal” “.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Lol: Would Biden do perpetual VP.
NotMax
@matt
Not quite up there with T.R.’s “Speak softly and carry a big stick, and you will go far.” when he was still Veep.
Calming Influence
Oh yeah, it sounds like just a wonderful idea, until someone gets a chocolate bullet in the EYE!
Assholes.
PsiFighter37
@matt: I don’t know if he’s better than Gore when evaluated as a standalone, but he certainly seems to be having more of an impact as VP than Gore did with Clinton.
ETA: I’m only considering recent VPs, mainly because VPs back in the day was more of a ceremonial post…hence why LBJ hated it.
Platypus
Darn, @Turgidson already said what I was going to. Well played, sir.
gelfling545
He reacts like a human being, not a stuffed shirt as so many in political life do.
Calming Influence
Here’s a 7 year old kid thinking up new types of ammunition, and Biden says he’s a GOOD BOY?!? What is wrong with you people?
mtraven
They’ll have to pry my chocolate gun out of my cold, dead, sticky hands.
NotMax
@Calming Influence
Hardly an original product idea.
MomSense
If anyone else wrote “you are a good boy” it would come across so hokey but here is is so sweet and genuine.
Damn but I love Joe Biden.
YellowJournalism
@Yatsuno: You would volunteer for target practice as the target.
gogol's wife
@MomSense:
Yes, that is just the nicest touch.
JWL
Lest We Forget: Biden endorsed the Bush/Cheney big lie War in Iraq. He has never censured those who committed that treason. They remain an “honorable opposition” in his world view.
Fuck him.
lamh35
@gogol’s wife: @MomSense:
My fav part too
Soonergrunt
@Calming Influence:
@Calming Influence:
You don’t seem very calm.
NotMax
So when’s the party/blowout financed with the remainder of the funds Mr. Cole raised to pay the site designer who pulled a Palin?
/rhetorical question
SiubhanDuinne
@Lol:
I agree. Kirsten Gillibrand/Joe Biden 2016. Deval Patrick/Joe Biden 2016. Michelle Obama/Joe Biden 2016. Hillary Clinton/Joe Biden 2016. Sherrod Brown/Joe Biden 2016. Brian Schweitzer/Joe Biden 2016. Julian Castro/Joe Biden 2016.
Roger Moore
@PsiFighter37:
The classic comment is from Jack Garner about the Vice Presidency not being worth a bucket of warm spit (or piss, depending on the source).
Scotius
Chocolate doesn’t kill people. People kill people.
Jeremy
@JWL: We get it. You hate Obama and Biden. Also, Biden apologized for that vote and said it was the worse decision in his career. He led the transition out of Iraq and the war is over.
NotMax
@SiubhanDuinne
He’ll be 74 in 2016.
Let him retire gracefully and play affable grandpa with his family.
beltane
Since we’ve been on the subject of the AP lately, I’d like to remind everyone that in 2006 they fired their long-time Vermont bureau chief, Chris Graff, because he had written something mildly critical of George W. Bush. I wouldn’t be surprised if this unofficial arm of the RNC wasn’t deliberately leaking information in the hopes it would lead to some kind of terrorist attack. To be a Republican is to put party before country at every opportunity.
Soonergrunt
@NotMax: I don’t think he wants to do that.
Redshirt
We’ll have to limit magazine size. As it is now, I’ve got Super Size boxes of Snowcaps ready for “target practice”.
Redshirt
I’d love to vote Biden in 2016 but yes, he is too old. Hillary is not, Diamond Joe Biden is.
Cassandra
I love Joe Biden.
SiubhanDuinne
@NotMax: Far as I’m concerned, he can do anything he damn wants. If he wants to run for the D nom in 2016, i’ll consider him the way i’ll consider all the others. If it’s another nominee, who wants Joe as VP, and Joe is good to go with that, then so am I. If Joe decides to hang it up after the second Obama-Biden term, also cool. It’s not up to me to “let” him do anything; I was just pointing out that all those tickets sound good and would make nice bumper stickers.
Calming Influence
@Soonergrunt: Of course I’m not calm! The vice president is encouraging a 7 year old psychopath to shoot people so they’ll be happier! Chocolate bullets? Have you ever tried to bite into a hunk of unsweetened chocolate? Lead is way softer. I’d take an exploding round any day.
This kid is one step away from a mass shooting with Atomic Fireballs from a musket.
David Koch
who ever is holding the postcard has nice nail polish.
Redshirt
@David Koch: Is that a broken thumb nail or a trick of light? Either way, I’m calling “False-Flag”.
GxB
@Turgidson: Dick! would have his ghoul handlers track the little guy down so he could feed on his sweet, sweet, innocent, upbeat soul. Serving the dual purpose of crushing optimism and possibly creating a new hellspawn – thereby perpetuating the species of vampyric soul-sucking shitheels, of which he is an elder member. Cycle of life and all that.
Calming Influence
@GxB: Dick! probably could have stuffed three 7 year olds in his man-size office safe.
JWL
@Jeremy: So Biden “apologized for his vote”.
Big Deal.
Biden has never called it treason, has he? Which it was.
He’s never publicly referred to Bush/Cheney in anything but respectful terms, has he?
I consider those two to be war criminals. I have no trouble stating as much. They should be brought to trial.
Biden obviously disagrees. I don’t respect that attitude, at all. I find it contemptible.
But I get it. You love Biden, and are willing to overlook his “minor”, war vs. peace, political transgression.
You’re the breed of cat that has laid waste to the democratic party.
I bet you love Obama’s proposed “Grand Bargain”. Don’t you?
SiubhanDuinne
@Redshirt: I don’t think the nail is broken, but I think the polish might be chipped. How slovenly. Typical libtardbagger bidenbot.
Soonergrunt
@Calming Influence: Just so you know, the gummy bear shotgun would be far, far worse.
Warren Terra
Can we get some notice for the comedy stylings of the previous veep Dick Cheney, who just recently announced that 9/11 showed his administration was ready for anything and able to protect Americans?
Amir Khalid
Presented without comment.
Roger Moore
@Soonergrunt:
And you don’t want to think about the marshmallow bazooka.
Calming Influence
@Soonergrunt: Oooooo! Or gummy snakes! It would be like chain shot.
NotMax
@SiubhanDuinne
Diff’rent strokes and all like that.
As for ‘let’ – that was used in the imperative sense of seizing an opportunity, as in “Let’s eat” not as any sort of instruction to any specific individual.
Cassidy
Does ad money happen just from popping up or do I have to click through?
piratedan
@NotMax: well if the R’s get control, expect him to be arrested for aiding and abetting a black man while in office, treason, and being a dirty Democrat
SiubhanDuinne
@NotMax: Gotcha and no problems. Cheers.
NotMax
@Roger Moore
Um, Mazooka.
piratedan
@JWL: good to know that you’ve never made a mistake ever or had to apologize for some action that you would have remorse over.
Yatsuno
@YellowJournalism: Just tell me where to sign up for that sweet gig. Hell I won’t even need paid time off. :)
Calming Influence
@JWL: The perfect is the enemy of the good, and the perfect concern troll is the enemy of the good Juice of Balloons comment section.
Roger Moore
@efgoldman:
The peanut brittle claymore mine is the absolute worst, though.
Highway Rob
The Onion’s Diamond Joe could give a damn about chocolate bullets, he’s rollin’ with a case of Coors Light Silver Bullets.
David Koch
chocolate bullets are okay, but they need to make the hollow point one illegal. nothing more destructive than hollow point chocolate.
chopper
@JWL:
biden’s vote for the war in iraq has helped ruin the peace-loving party of FDR and LBJ!
Jeremy
@JWL: See this is the problem with wingnuts on the left and right. Nothing is ever good enough and no one is ever pure enough. The Iraq war was horrible but the man is human and admitted he made a mistake. He talked about the Iraq war extensively and you are mad because he did not say the words “treason”. You realize that sounds as ridiculous as the right complaining about “act of terror” vs. “terrorism”.
Many great progressive democrats that I admired like Hubert Humphrey were tied to Vietnam and I didn’t hate him because of that mistake. If someone owns up, and apologizes then I can’t hate them.
Mr Stagger Lee
@Calming Influence: Committing Random acts of kindness, while doing senseless acts of beauty.
Speaking of senseless acts, can somebody explain this act of Democratic Senators?
RobertDSC-iMac G5
Very neat. Thanks.
BD of MN
Hate to derail an open thread, but what’s the commentariat’s experience with cell phone tracking apps for your kids? Here’s why I ask, a friend just lost her daughter and their cell provider was unwilling to help them out and try to track their daughter’s cell phone. It’s been a tough weekend and a very tough day up here in BD land…
Redshirt
@BD of MN: The Police surely can get that information, I hope.
Mike in NC
Speak softly and carry a big Twix.
Comrade Mary
Mistermix says that he’s migrating to the new theme, but isn’t THIS the new theme?
NotMax
@Comrade Mary
Nope. Just an amuse-bouche. The entree is arriving shortly.
Fort Geek
@GxB: That and he’d tag the kid for “Spare Parts.”
LeftCoastTom
@Jeremy:
That just proves you aren’t trying hard enough, I’m sure the Emperor Palpatine can help you with your problem.
(More seriously…yes, Hillary Clinton’s absurd explanations for her own vote for the Iraq war were part of my decision in the 2008 Democratic Primary, not the mere fact of her vote)
David Koch
Reeses-Pieces cluster bombs
JWL
@Jeremy: Biden has never attacked Bush/Cheney for the treason they committed.
They are war crimimals, and should be prosecuted as such. You must be a “look forward, not backward” adherent. I’m not.
Or do you believe that Bush/Cheney were honest men, honestly misled?
Biden does.
You call my expectation that the rude truth be spoken aloud by elected democrats a matter of “purity”.
I call it vital to the maintenance of our Republic. I call it a matter of simple decency (as in a decent respect for ourselves as a nation, and a decent respect for the opinion of mankind).
Your breed of cat is in the saddle, of course. And goddamn you for it.
JWL
@chopper: FDR never committed treason. FDR did not invade Manchuria, or Poland. And you’re an ass for implying as much.
Yatsuno
@JWL: Historians believe FDR allowed the attack on Pearl Harbour to happen so the US would have an incentive to enter into WWII. Before that, the country was very isolationist over the war that was “over there”. And do we even need to mention the Japanese internment camps, which were in the works before Pearl Harbour?
NotMax
JWL, your definition of treason seems strictly your own.
It has a very specific definition in both the Constitution
and in U.S. law.
lojasmo
@JWL:
Treason? You should try to stick to words which you know the meaning of.
BD of MN
@Redshirt: One would hope so, but a 16 year old with a license and mom’s permission to take the car is not considered a police problem until several days after she disappears. I just wonder if her parents been able to locate her before she and her boyfriend made their horrible decision that this possibly could have had a better outcome…
lojasmo
@BD of MN:
That’s rotten. Good luck. I agree the police should be able to help.
I can track all our phones, ipads, and computers on “find my iphone” app.
ETA: Fuck, they died. Very sad.
drkrick
FDR ordered the internment of Americans of Japanes descent, did far less than he could have about extermination of Europen Jews both before and during the war and compromised shamefully with the supporters. If you think all of that is more forgiveable than what Biden has done, bless your heart.
Suffern ACE is a Basset Hound
@Yatsuno: are people who believe that historians? The types of people who explain events using documents and stuff like that?
drkrick
The supporters of Jim Crow. It seems the edit function doesn’t work with me phone.
BD of MN
@lojasmo: Thanks, I’m hoping this can be a teachable moment. The reason I ask is that their cell phone provider actually said that they weren’t going to help because there wasn’t an “imminent danger”… Fuck them…
GxB
@Calming Influence: Since the Germans seem to have a term for everything, there must be one for “Someone so far to the left they wrap around to the right.” Though I agree with your assessment that this particular troll is probably just a pretty skilled rightie all along. If not, what difference does it make?
poptartacus
Sorry to break it to you, the woman on veep is the coolest vp ever. unless the guy who said the job wasn’t worth a warm bucket of piss was vp when he said that. then he is the coolest.
It's Not The Fall, It's The Landing
+1 for Crazy Uncle Joe. Whatever regrettable things he may have said or done at various stages of his career as an elected official, that’s some quality Vice-Presidentin’ right there.
Rex Everything
No, it’s why you should have an “I’m Throwing Up” tag.
I mean I understand that they have to kiss babies and tell Virginia there really is a Santa Claus, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it, much less go weak in the knees over it.