On October 14th, 1992, a crime was committed. A man named Sid Bream slid across home plate, basically destroying the Pittsburgh Pirates for the rest of the century and all of this one. The Pirates then spent the next two seasons becoming the first team in MLB history to get rid of a 20 game winner and a 100 RBI hitter two years in a row (Drabek/Smiley/Bonds/Bonilla).
A half a year later, I was in a foxhole in the pitch dark allegedly on guard duty in an OP with the National Guard at Fort Dix, NJ, during annual training. On my earphones, I listened to David Volek score a fucking goal in OT of Game Seven, lifting the Islanders over the Pens. I screamed so loud that I woke up the entire unit, revealed our location, and pissed off my 1SG so much he threatened to beat me to death with the company guidon if I ever did that again.
Tonight, the Pens beat the Islanders in the playoffs, and after carrying around that horror for twenty plus years, it has been released.
SCRATCH MY BACK WITH A HACKSAW!
Just Some Fuckhead
Stuck is still missing, you cold-blooded monster.
Steeplejack
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Okay, that’s funny. But not to worry, the commentariat has been
mobilizedHoverounded.BillinGlendaleCA
Well you gave Sooner’s post 7 minutes at the top, as my Calculus prof used to say “loads of time”, after starting a new proof 7 minutes before class was to end.
Shalimar
You have issues.
David Koch
Sid Bream worst than watergate and iran-contra X 10
if only bonds had been using gas back then he could have thrown him out.
Warren Terra
Can someone translate this post? Preferably into English?
NotMax
Yesterday, a self-described jackass. Today, an ox.
Movin’ on up.
Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)
Go Hawks!
Corner Stone
It’s amazing how fickle you are, you fucking monster. It’s almost like Stuck’s death means nothing to you. He loved you like a brother, and probably called out to you at the end.
Redshirt
Pittsburgh, as a whole, is worse than Benghazi x 3 plus Watergate and IranContra squared.
Also, alas! The Red Sox have fallen back to earth. It was a dream month of April.
Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)
@Corner Stone: Wow, you are worse than JSF. Fuck off with a rusty pitchfork, you stupid motherfucker.
MattR
As an Islanders fan, the most painful playoff series of my life was 1994 when the Rangers beat the Canucks.
Corner Stone
@Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): Pick a better handle you fucking emo weenie bitch.
Waaaaaaaaahhh.
cbear
@Corner Stone: I suppose at this point we can only hope that the police report isn’t leaked to the Smoking Gun people.
I’d hate to think it might have been wetsuit-related.
Too soon?
RobertDSC-PowerMac 466
I blame Obama for letting the Pens win.
John O
Goddamn that made me laugh.
You can bet I’ll be posting some smack out here if the Pens are lucky enough to play the Blackhawks in the Big Series for the Cup.
Pens are good, John. Just not quite as good as the Hawks.
MikeJ
@Redshirt:
By August they’ll get it together enough to get your hopes up. Then they’ll crush them.
I’m an old school red sox fan. I never fell for that “winning” bullshit. A World Series or two was just a way to get hopes up higher than ever.
Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)
@Corner Stone: Grow the fuck up you Houston-living stupid fuck!
ETA: DRROOOOOONNNNEEEESSS! GREENWALD!
Spaghetti Lee
@MikeJ:
A World Series or two was just a way to get hopes up higher than ever.
I’m sure Cubs, Indians, Rangers, etc. fans read this and just laaaaaaugh. “Oh, just 2 World Series. Why those barely even count. We’re still tortured and agonized souls, really.”
lojasmo
@Just Some Fuckhead:
DAMN YOU OBAMA!
The prophet Nostradumbass
@MikeJ: the Yankees, Red Sox and Angels, the real Axis of Evil.
Corner Stone
@cbear:
Well, clearly, it might be. The ongoing contention is he died of massive stroke while trying to stay on the regular.
Not saying he always wore a wetsuit or two to the restroom, but that’s clearly the leading speculation at this point.
I think, at this point, AWS is our best lead to how things went down.
If you know what I mean.
Redshirt
@Spaghetti Lee: LOL. There’s no such thing as “Rangers fans”.
dww44
I’ve not been around much of late, but have observed no comments from Stuck. Can someone update me, please?
Corner Stone
@Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your long time love.
I know that has to hurt. Just know, we’re here for you.
Please stay strong, and get well.
? Martin
They still play hockey? Who knew?
Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)
@Corner Stone: Yeah, I saw corner stone with the dildo, leaning over Gen. Stuck, trying to stuff it in his mouth. I ran out in horror. i will testify in open court.
Redshirt
@MikeJ: I said it back in 2004, yes sir. I said “Fitzy, just you watch. We’re gonna miss the tragic losing. It was our ‘thing’ and now we’re just the Yankees North”.
And lo! So it came to be. Fitzy will vouch for me.
Spaghetti Lee
@Redshirt:
Orioles, then. Pirates, like our host. Whatever. Point is when your team has won two world series in ten years and made the playoffs 8 or 9 of these years, you no longer have the right to be self-pitying mopes. Hell, Red Sox fans loved last season: they finally got to do the oh-woe-is-us thing again.
Corner Stone
@Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): It’s ok. I know you’re in pain.
Use me as a lightning rod to disperse all that self-hatred you feel. Loving Stuck so hard wasn’t a choice. We understand that.
Just know we’re here for you.
Steeplejack
@dww44:
Take it downstairs, buddy. Four floors down.
Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)
@Corner Stone: keep fucking that chicken, CS.
NotMax
@efgoldman
There are teams other than the Yankees & Brooklyn-on-the Pacific Dodgers?
Learn somethin’ new every day.
MikeJ
@efgoldman:
I’m not sure this is true.
cbear
@Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): Jeebus dude, you went from outrage to wanting in on the snark faster than a duck on a junebug.
Make up your mind.
Unsympathetic
Wow, I thought I was in a bad mood. The last thread was simply “we don’t know where this guy is” and now someone’s asserting he’s dead.. via snark?
That’s not funny in any way, dude. Seriously, grow up.
Changing topics: John, this article deserves a thread because it’s absolutely insane:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/05/01/a-new-gop-bill-would-prevent-the-government-from-collecting-economic-data/?wprss=rss_ezra-klein
Corner Stone
@Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): That’s it. Thaaat’s it. Let all the self-loathing go.
Stuck was all you had that kept you going through those dark times. He was your “the somebody”. We get it.
I can’t imagine that awful emptiness inside you right now.
It gets better. It will get better.
And we’ll be here for you, every step of the way.
Hill Dweller
Does MSNBC give Chris Hayes his weekend show back after they dropped him from the 8pm slot?
Spaghetti Lee
@efgoldman:
There’s a sports website called KissingSuzyKolber, and one of their stock characters is ‘Tawmmy from Quinzee’, a belligerent, hyper-emotional sports fan from Southie who goes from bullying other lesser fanbases to collapsing into a heap of self-pity whenever the Red Sox or the Patriots miss/lose in the playoffs. “No othah city can know ow-ah pain!” Of course, he’s also a chronic bandwagoner.
It’s a broad stereotype, to be sure, but when I see Red Sox and Patriots fans griping about their teams’ bad luck and missed chances over the last few years, it makes me think that it’s based on truth.
Redshirt
@efgoldman: Fuck no! Fitzy from Southie. I bought scalped tickets from him all the time.
TICKETS!
GOT TICKETS?
NEED TICKETS?
TICKETS!
Redshirt
@MikeJ: Hope is the cruelest torture of all.
jayboat
The Bream moment is forever seared in my memory.
Verrry nice memory…
Lived in Atl for 22 years- huge Braves fan.
Unsympathetic
@Hill Dweller:
They haven’t dropped him.. but I’m not sure what they expected – it’s tough sledding against both O’Reilly and Anderson Cooper.
Just Some Fuckhead
I’m afraid shortstop may be dead. Someone find her number for me and I’ll call her.
Corner Stone
@Hill Dweller: I’ve seen a couple posts about this but the goog has not much to show for it.
What they up to?
Soapdish
It could be worse: you could be from Buffalo.
–From Buffalo
Corner Stone
@Just Some Fuckhead: Not sure anyone has her number but you might be able to look it up.
Mary Ellen Farhburger, Chicago, IL DOB 10/17/1959
Alison
@Hill Dweller: Dropped? Since when? Was on yesterday, didn’t say anything about it, still in my cable guide next week…
Just Some Fuckhead
@Corner Stone: Thank you. As a former stalker, I an not afraid to find her.
cbear
@jayboat: Oh hell yeah, I’ve been a Braves fan since the early 70’s and suffered thru all those brutal losing seasons (except for 1982) until we started winning.
I’ll never forget how loooooonnnngggggg it took Bream to make it to the plate. Awesome!
NobodySpecial
Congrats, Cole, it only took the Penguins six games to beat the Islanders. Good thing they play in the soft conference, the Wild would have killed them dead the way they played.
cbear
@Just Some Fuckhead: How can you even be thinking about your next victim at a time like this?
Hill Dweller
@Unsympathetic: They haven’t dropped Hayes yet, but it is only a matter of time. He isn’t coming close to Ed’s numbers.
Maddow’s ratings have also been hurt since Hayes took over. She is now consistently 4th in her time slot, which, as their highest rated show, has to be costing MSNBC money.
The interesting part is MSNBC’s numbers have plummeted in the last few months, independent of Hayes’ show. CNN has now become the number 2 cable news network behind Fox.
The suits are going to have to shake up their lineup if they want to get out of the ratings cellar.
Yatsuno
@cbear: It worked for Jeffrey Dahmer.
(still too soon?)
@efgoldman: The audience MSNBC is trying to reach by and large very rarely watches television. So unless they want some kind of miracle here they’re gonna have to take a different approach. Like putting Chris Hayes back on weekends where his work didn’t suck.
Alison
@Yatsuno: Didn’t suck? I think the show has done a good job of transitioning to the nightly format while staying true to the original intent. You don’t agree?
Alison
@Hill Dweller: It depresses me that people prefer shouty nothingburger Ed and his ridiculous text message polls to Chris.
Cacti
I was actually rooting for the Pirates in that game because F the Braves.
Sid Bream was half crippled and stupid Bonds couldn’t throw him out.
Hill Dweller
@efgoldman: I avoid that network like the plague, so I’ll take your word for it.
The fact is viewers are fleeing MSNBC in droves. I’ve seen some grumbling on the twitter machine about MSNBC being more willing to internalize wingnut talking points recently, especially during morning and afternoon programming. Trying to shed their “liberal” tag?
I only watch Maddow’s show, and couldn’t tell you what else airs on that network, but something is causing people to quit watching.
Cacti
@Alison:
You mean mild-mannered, hipster glasses, “my good friend Andrew Sullivan” Chris?
What’s not to love?
Scratch that. What is there to love?
cbear
@Yatsuno:
Stuck’s missing and presumed dead, Corner Stone is a suspect, Cole’s apologizing left and right for being an asshole, Fuckhead’s stalking unsuspecting commenters, and now you’ve changed your name???
Do I call you Yats now?
I’m so confused.
Redshirt
@efgoldman: True. The Scalping Market has collapsed. A once thriving class of business destroyed – thanks, Obama.
Hill Dweller
@Alison: Hayes was great during the Boston bombing/manhunt coverage. The show was less scripted, and he was good on the fly.
When things are more structured, Hayes just isn’t as good.
If he wasn’t hurting Maddow’s ratings they’d probably give him more time, alas…
Yatsuno
@cbear: There there. It’ll all turn out in the end you’ll see. But kick JC a few more times that’ll make you feel better.
@Alison: The few times I’ve seen him he looked harrowed and nervous. He also talks really really fast, not at all at the pace when he had the three hour format. Plus there isn’t time to dedicate the research like he used to do. He is capable of laying out points that take longer than seven minutes in a very clear fashion. I’m not seeing this now.
TaMara (BHF)
@MikeJ: Only a true Red Sox fan understands this. I’m pretty sure my Gram died in the middle of summer so she could leave while they were on top.
cbear
@Yatsuno: Kicking Cole just ain’t as fun as it used to be now that he’s gone all hippy-dippy, peace, love and feeling your painy on us.
Why the name change bro?
Yatsuno
@cbear: FYWP. If certain commenters tried to reply to me they got sent into oblivion. Not even moderation, just complete evaporation. I switched a couple vowels around and the issue disappeared. So yeah, FYWP.
BillinGlendaleCA
@cbear:
Yahtzee!
Redshirt
@BillinGlendaleCA: Uno!
BillinGlendaleCA
@Redshirt: Until recently I owned a Uno game, the gf in grad school liked to play it.
Redshirt
@BillinGlendaleCA: It’s a fun game for a bit. Not too much. Like all games, really.
The Dangerman
Ugly case of Blue
BallsPucks there.ETA: Are you shitting me? This is the new look? And am I the last one to bitch about it?
Yatsuno
WHOA! Did the site just change or is it just me?
@cbear: Not tellin’. But I will say little dogs stew up quite nicely.
cbear
@Yatsuno: “Certain commenters” were just disappearing, huh?
Yeaaaah, right. Ok, come clean—–what did you do to Stuck, you sneaky bastard?
TaMara (BHF)
OMG. Did I just step into the twilight zone, or did the site rebuild just magically appear?
EDIT to add: I kinda like it.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Yatsuno: Yeah, it looks like crap.
TaMara (BHF)
@Yatsuno: Oh, good I thought I was seeing things.
cbear
@Yatsuno: Holy shit!!! First you off Stuck, and now you reformat the whole fucking site?
Good God man, forget I said anything, alright?
Comrade Luke
Oh man. This is gonna be great!
Yatsuno
@The prophet Nostradumbass: It looks a lot like the mobile site. Which on some levels is a fecking pain.
@TaMara (BHF): The page is too wide for me. I have to move the scroll bar just to hit reply. Something in the page size is off. MikeJ is gonna have a field day here.
Redshirt
WHERE AM I?!
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Yatsuno: It does, that’s actually what I thought had happened at first.
Ivan X
OMG NEW APPEARANCE I QUIT
BillinGlendaleCA
OMG, at first I thought I was on the mobile site. Then I thought that the roost beef I had for dinner might have been a tad old and was causing me to trip out. Wonder what the site will look like when I hit submit.
Old Dan and Little Ann
Is this the Matrix?
TaMara (BHF)
@Yatsuno: It’s perfectly centered for me. My guess is this is just a test. This is only a test. If this had been the real site rebuild there would be a thread up just for the bitch fest.
Redshirt
Everything’s terrible.
I fear change… :(
Spaghetti Lee
OK, um, first impressions….the font is way too small. I guess you needed to do that to make room for all the…blank white space on the right. And did the search bar disappear? Whose idea was all this?
TaMara (BHF)
@Redshirt: This is the room where we shine the bright light on you and ask you what you’ve done with Stuck. I bet this glass of water is looking real good to you right now, isn’t it? /barney fife
Yatsuno
@TaMara (BHF): If it’s a test then there definitely needs to be some rework. There’s a Google search function at the top blocking the text. Sounds like there might be some wild inconsistencies with browsers or something. Or the blog is just borked and reverted to the mobile site because FYWP don’t give a shit.
ranchandsyrup
I appreciate having newsmax headlines in the side bar.
Now I know what tyranny is.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Spaghetti Lee: I also like the “Newsmax Headlines” box in the right column.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@ranchandsyrup: jinx.
BillinGlendaleCA
I’m sure John will put up a post about the site rebuild that apparently just occurred, though I think it will be a repeat of Wednesday’s very brief post.
The Dangerman
Great, in 20 years I can post about the primal scream I made after the new look came out (kill it and bury it in the backyard like raccoon roadkill, Dude).
ETA: Or fry it up andserve it with some ripple as is done in some parts of these lands
Redshirt
@TaMara (BHF): I don’t know what’s happening! I don’t know nuthin’ about nuthin I swear!
Higgs Boson's Mate
Cry havoc and loose the dogs of bitching!
dance around in your bones
@Yatsuno: Not just you!
I thought I landed on the mobile site somehow – WTF? Is this the new site layout? It’s a little scary – and where the hell is the little guy with the striped pants and megaphone! Ack! Gah!
ranchandsyrup
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Heh. Rush limbaugh thinks Obama is ultimately responsible for Benghazi? Hoocouldanode?
eemom
um…..did some fucking site update just happen? Eeeyeeew.
eta: This SUCKS. It looks like SHIT.
BillinGlendaleCA
OT, Google’s got a pretty good doodle for Mother’s Day.
Yatsuno
@dance around in your bones: And the sidebar block with the Google search function is now taking up half the comments. Jeez Cole, just kick us all off until everything’s done or something.
And is the font just straight up Arial? WTF over?
Spaghetti Lee
Newsmax? THE FUCK IS THIS?!
BillinGlendaleCA
Isn’t the date icon, witch I like, and the “Posted by John Cole on May 11, 2013” a bit repetitive. How about “Posted by John Cole at 10:05pm”. It doesn’t even have the time anymore below the post.
TaMara (BHF)
I think this “site update” is just an elaborate ploy by WitSec to keep us from searching for the General. We got too close.
eemom
The comments look like a strip of address labels.
dance around in your bones
@Yatsuno: Now all of a sudden what was centered is left justified.
I have a confused. And the type is too tiny. And the reply button is half hidden (though that may be because I use NoSquint of Firefox to enlarge the type ’cause I can’t see the tiny font? Oh, just shoot me now.
eta:Of course, as soon as I said that it changed back to centered. There is some jiggery-po.kery going on!
.
Redshirt
@TaMara (BHF): It is a good and proper distraction. Hmm. How deep does this go?
The site redesign might be a false flag. Keep your powder dry!
Irish Steel
Holy shit! What is this?
General Stuck’s curse (nods sagely to self)
Yatsuno
@Irish Steel: And naturally JC and every other front pager disappears. ITZ A KUNSPIRACY I TELLS YA!
The prophet Nostradumbass
@eemom: heh, yes, they do.
Calming Influence
Cole, what the fuck have you done?
BillinGlendaleCA
@dance around in your bones: I’ve got my bifocals on, so no problem seeing the font, but it is a bit smallish. It does seem to work better on win8 UI ie10.
Warren Terra
The site update is indeed, as several have mentioned, deeply unfortunate.
On the other hand, it did cause me to look at the page a bit, at sections I usually ignore: how long has this site been pushing a freaking widget full of headlines from flipping NewsMax?
The Dangerman
That’s a nice little virtual pencil next to the Leave a Reply, but I use a virtual pen; will that cause any problems?
This is Tunch screwing with the code, right?
Redshirt
I like how HTML functions got outsourced to us. Hey Ma! I’m one of them Internet Coders now!
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Warren Terra: Just since this change went into effect.
dance around in your bones
On the plus side, I see that the previous and next post links are back at the bottom. I always liked that.
Alison
Whoa! Okay…is this where we say what we like and don’t like, or should that wait for a specific post? :P
Calming Influence
I’m against capital punishment, except for whoever just took a shit on this site’s format.
BillinGlendaleCA
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
TaMara (BHF)
@Yatsuno: See my comment #111
Yatsuno
@Redshirt: Sweet! Can I put that on my résumé now?
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Alison: Send Cole comments via email, Facebook and Twitter. He really appreciates them.
Warren Terra
I note that the design is signed:
So I suppose we have a specific person to blame. Well, and Cole, of course,
Yatsuno
FYWPWAVRC.
@TaMara (BHF): You have numbers? I don’t. This majorly bites.
Calming Influence
I’m seeing about 40 acres of white space on either side of a strip of address labels. Klassy!
TaMara (BHF)
No FPers, Cole’s twitter is silent. Stuck is missing. Was this the rapture and we missed it? And now we’re left behind with this borked blog? I should have took communion more often.
SatanicPanic
@BillinGlendaleCA: Is there a right week to quit drinking?
I predict an increase in blockquote fail.
Irish Steel
@Yatsuno: Now Obama’s gone too far. This redesign is sure to alienate the base.
TaMara (BHF)
@Yatsuno: I have numbers and colors and html tags and it’s all nicely centered and no overlap. Maybe there are different levels of rapture?
Calming Influence
@TaMara (BHF): If Cole and Stuck got raptured, I’m not going to enjoy Hell as much as I thought I would.
SatanicPanic
In all seriousness I was waiting for the redesign to start griping around but I was planning on doing it ironically.
ETA- maybe ironically is the wrong word, since the expectation is that we’d all gripe about it. I don’t know what word I’m looking for and I wish I had being drunk as an excuse.
scav
I guess the long-anticipated WTF Just Happened just happened. Ouch.
dance around in your bones
Well, I was going to post a link to the Wayback Machine to remind us of the way we were (haha) but it seems all the little buttons on top of the comment box have vanished. Shitenzeplatz.
Irish Steel
WHERE’S MY FUCKING AVATAR? I WAS PROMISED AN AVATAR!!
The Dangerman
Well shit, now “next post” and “previous post” have been taken from us; oh, woe is me, what is next? If I see virtual locusts, I’m outta here.
Calming Influence
This site redesign is exactly like what the dinosaurs went through after the meteor hit. Plus Benghazi.
Alison
I don’t mind it so much, though there’s a lot of stuff missing, and some of the sidebar menus are broken…like, the words run off past the edge of the window for the headlines, etc. I assume that’s just a small coding thing…
And no rotating taglines?
ETA And dumb me just realized those are Newsmax headlines. The hell?
Violet
Urgh. The text is smaller. I’m going to have to change the settings on my browser.
Yatsuno
@Alison: JC you got a lotta splainin’ to do.
billgerat
Where are the links? I came here for the links tonight, and they’re not there! I hate site redesigns. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
scav
whee! They’re playing with column widths randomly!
Higgs Boson's Mate
Cryin’ Time – Buck Owens.
SatanicPanic
@scav: This is cool, we get to complain in real time. Hey guys, make it wider! And bigger text!
Irish Steel
Funhouse comments! You guys look all dinky.
TaMara (BHF)
@scav: Yup. Now suddenly everything is an inch wide. Like the whole site went on a crash diet. Lose inches and drop two sizes before midnight (MDT)
CaseyL
The new layout looks OK. Just takes some getting used to. Like, a lot of getting used to. Much… brighter… in a JJ Abrams lens-flare kind of way. Because the margins are so big. I guess.
….Whyinhell is there a Newsmax window on the (appropriately) right-hand sidebar?
BillinGlendaleCA
I blame Obama.
Violet
@TaMara (BHF): It’s like the regular site is on the Mobile diet.
cbear
It’s Stuck’s revenge I tell you, Stuck’s revenge!
Sweet Jesus, I’m sorry Stuck, it wasn’t me—-LOOK there’s JSF AND CS right over there, they’re the bad guys, I was only an unwitting pawn!!!
dance around in your bones
@SatanicPanic:
>>>I predict an increase in blockquote fail. <<<
You got THAT right. I don't know squat about HTML. I want my buttons back!
ok, total fail on the HTML test try. O_o
piratedan
yeah, coming in on Firefox, that ads bar at the top blow right through the body of the text, that’s the google ad, the amazon ref, the newsmax items and then the premium blogads boxes just superimpose themselves over the body of the blog for me.
The prophet Nostradumbass
Jesus Christ, it actually just got worse.
The Dangerman
OK, the scratch and sniff feature is pretty cool, but the only option in the drop down menu is “Catbox”; that’s wrong, right?
scav
Mine’s squeezed into about half an inch wide, one word, tiny font, is about all it can handle.
RobertDSC-PowerMac G5 Dual
Testing.
Alison
I’m watching Harry Potter and I refreshed and saw the comments shrink just as someone yelled out a spell. That was kinda neat.
Amir Khalid
Hmm. I hope that this is just the first go at the redesign, because this thing still needs more tweaking. We need the HTML buttons back for commenting, and the Recent Comments box back as well. Font size for comments needs to be closer to that for the post. Glad to see that the Recent Posts box now includes the top post again.
@Irish Steel:
To pre-empt John Cole’s likely answer: If you want a ten-foot tall blue humanoid body, you’ll have to grow it yourself.
ranchandsyrup
I LOVE LAMP
LOUD NOISES
dance around in your bones
ok, WTF just happened NOW? Everything SHRANK!
Saturday night, nothing’s happening anyway, right?
eta: I am only getting about 5 letters of anyone’s nym. Bummer!
TaMara (BHF)
If JC knew anything about coding and site redesign, I’d say he was just fucking with us. Maybe this is Tunch, who secretly knows much more than he lets on, getting back at all of you for the fat jokes. (Tuncheee, you know I love you and I’ve never said a bad word about cha).
p.s. this comment is now 1/2 wide and 6 inches long. sorry about that.
scav
e. e. cummings would enjoy this, I somehow think.
Irish Steel
I chafe easily. Someone widen the margins.
BillinGlendaleCA
@cbear: Yup and Cornerstone is holding a dildo.
Calming Influence
Hey, try this! If you grab the edge of your browser window and move it in to try to get rid of all the white space, you can actually make the comments column disappear! Feature, or Bug?!?
The Dangerman
Hold on, we’re comparing width and length now? Well, ALRIGHT!
ETA: Well, shit, I just got really tiny; someone really knows how to ruin a guy’s ego
? Martin
Thank god we finally have NewsMax headlines. My $19.95 went to good use.
TaMara (BHF)
Sigh, I must retire for the evening and I don’t want to, because I’m guessing stuff is just starting to get fun. Like Alice In Wonderland, I’m sure things will get curiouser and curiouser as the night wears on.
Calming Influence
@RobertDSC-PowerMac G5 Dual: Who the fuck are you, and what have you done?!?
David Koch
this is not “Change” we can believe in!
Irish Steel
@Amir Khalid: Fine. As long as I don’t have to wear the glasses (on top of my glasses).
Ultraviolet Thunder
I went to bed at 10:00 pm and slept for 3 hours. Had a nightmare and woke up. Now I can’t sleep.
But at least I know what caused the nightmare: a thousand wounded psyches screaming in terror at the site redesign reached out to me in my sleep.
I share your pain.
Calming Influence
@The Dangerman: Girth is what matters. This site has no girth.
Amir Khalid
I wonder what I’ll get when I hit Submit Comment this time. I hope everyone has adjusted their seat to the upright position, fastened their seat-belt, and returned their tray to the stowed and locked position.
TaMara (BHF)
@Ultraviolet Thunder: good thing I finished that glass of water before I read that.
The prophet Nostradumbass
Something else annoying: Everyone’s handle looks like a link, whether it is or not.
scav
Different platform – Not so bad here but only because the screen is wider possibly. Looking like they’ve got the ad / side columns fixed width and the comments column left to float, which is why it can completely disappear, which is fun to play with if one is easily amused.
TaMara (BHF)
ETA: and suddenly the columns are big again. Alice must have drank from the other vile.
Ultraviolet Thunder
I haven’t read the whole thread yet. Can someone point me at the post where John comes down and gets all “COME ON YOU BABIES QUIT WHINING IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT GET YOUR OWN WEBSITE JESUS I HATE YOU ALL” on us?
eemom
holy shit, it’s getting worse. It’s narrowing like the walls of some medieval torture chamber.
Yer a sick
man,
Jo
hn
C
o
l
e
scav
@Ultraviolet Thunder: Joy to be had. No way I’m getting to sleep before that happens. I might need to pop off to make coffee.
cbear
@TaMara (BHF): redrum, redrum, Redrum, REDRUM!!
BillinGlendaleCA
@Ultraviolet Thunder: He put up the OP took it down, reposted it and ran.
TaMara (BHF)
@Ultraviolet Thunder: I’m fairly certain he’s been Raptured: https://balloon-juice.com/2013/05/11/the-yoke-has-been-lifted/#comment-4429365
jheartney
I’m assuming the right hand column is supposed to be the same narrow width as the left hand column, so that the blog posts are wider. Because if you really mean to have the columns stay these widths, you need a new designer.
Also when I rollover the “Submit Comment” button, the rollover image is wider than the default image, probably because the text is bold in the rollover version.
Is there some reason you couldn’t iron out these kinds of css tweaks before you went live with the redesign?
mai naem
I would bitch about the format but I figure this isn’t the final product. From what I remember about the numbers, Fox had lost a lot of viewers esp, the demo. I totally do not get Erin Burnett doing well at CNN. Not surprised about MSNBC losing viewers after the election. Obama won and is in for 4 years. I was worried that Chris Hayes’ style wouldn’t work in prime time. I didn’t like Ed Schultz but Ed was up against Oreilly who is the king of cable news shows so i figured Ed was doing pretty good. I hate to say it but they need somebody like Keith Olbermann – somebody who’s got an “A” personality and is also kinda dickish.
Amir Khalid
Someone should have brought this up by now: WHERE IS THE MAN WITH THE CANE AND THE MEGAPHONE?
Irish Steel
Oh, wait! This is an homage to the trash compactor scene in Star Wars.
Leia!
scav
ok,
This is code
Bold
Italic
strikethroughdoubt they’ll have lost these, although the buttons have gone awol.
ETA: SERIOUSLY, This is Bold?
Strong any better?
ETA 2.0, whew.
dance around in your bones
I
c
a
n
n
o
t
s
t
a
n
d
t
h
i
s
I feel like Alice in Wonderland after she drank from the ‘Drink Me’ bottle. I’d say where’s my ‘Eat Me’ cake but I know y’all would mock.
Calming Influence
Oh, now I get it! The Newsmax headlines? The Balloon Juice website has been hacked by brilliant conservative hack…..
O.K., never mind.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@mai naem: Funny about Olbermann… when he left MSNBC, I kind of missed the show for a while. Then, when he finally resurfaced on Current, I found that I didn’t care.
Calming Influence
@jheartney:
Cole secretly enjoys the abuse. It comes from living in West Virginia, I think.
MattR
@Irish Steel: Listen to them, they’re dying R2! Curse my metal body, I wasn’t fast enough, it’s all my fault!
Yatsuno
@Calming Influence:
I sense the flaw in your plan…
EDIT: And blockquotes completely bite. No likey.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Non-blockquoted text.
ETA: okay, that came out italic. Let’s see if I can fix it.
ETAA: Italics fixed.
Calming Influence
@Ultraviolet Thunder: Nice chops!
dance around in your bones
This style reminds me of that joke about two guys pissing off a bridge into a river and one guy says “Man, this water is cold” and the other guy says “And deep, too!”
rda909
Newsmax?!? You have got to be kidding me, right? I have no problem if you need to work out kinks with width and so on, but if you’re putting Newsmax links on here, I’m gone for good and taking back every positive thing I’ve ever said about you. Unacceptable. (and I’ve given money to your pet blegs too)
TaMara (BHF)
@Yatsuno: They would drive Monk insane. They aren’t doing me much good either, where’s my close quote? I can’t sleep unless I get a close quote. Dammit.
BillinGlendaleCA
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit taking amphetamines.
Irish Steel
@MattR: I forget the first series had some genuinely funny moments in light of the grim, humorless tone of the prequels.
Unless you find Jar Jar funny, I suppose…
rda909
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Classic case, like Phil Donahue too, where his ratings were on a rapid rise, and often beating O’falafel on Pox, and mysteriously gets fired for some odd reason. Can’t have the “free market” choosing a liberal voice after all. Shut that shit down, stat!
Calming Influence
@rda909: So is that an official Goodbye Cruel World, or are you just setting up the foundation for a future official Goodbye Cruel World.?
Princess Leia
@Irish Steel: Design smells like it too.
scav
@TaMara (BHF): That looks like giant cloven hooves stomping on comments. Can’t decide if it’s Rambo Bambi Seeks Revenge or a Jolly Green Giant / Demon offspring.
FEE
FIE
FOE
FUM!
I smell the blood of a FWYPageddon!
Steeplejack
@TaMara (BHF):
LOL.
The current look of the site blows. This is obviously a work in progress. I tried to find a YouTube video for Sterling Archer: “Cry havoc and let slip the hogs of war!”
“Dogs.”
“Well, whatever farm animal of destruction.”
Something like that.
I’ll check back in the morning. Carrying the exhausted housecat to bed.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Irish Steel: I can’t find it any more, but at one time there was a funny LOLCats version of Phantom Menace out there somewhere. I don’t remember them having to do much of anything to Jar Jar.
And then, there’s LOLTrek.
TooManyJens
The right sidebar is so wide in order to accommodate the categories list, apparently. Of which the longest one is “Since We Have A Category For Everything Here Is One for Insomina.”
So, just like gastritis broke McMegan’s calculator, “insomina” broke the blog.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Stand back. I’m gonna try a hyperlink.
DIY thing
ETA; my text size just changed. It’s haunted!
rda909
@Calming Influence: So you have no problem with not 1 or 2, but 8 Newsmax headlines at the top of this page, which of course all imply the most liberal president in any of our lifetimes, President Barack Hussein Obama, is a complete failure and crook, on the top of every page view of this site?
scav
@Ultraviolet Thunder: Made the jump to hyperspace cap’n.
dance around in your bones
@Ultraviolet Thunder: How do you do a hyperlink? I just want to push a button and paste my link.
I guess it’ll all get fixed eventually.
:::sobs into pillow:::
TaMara (BHF)
@rda909: Keep calm and carry on. The site is quite obviously borked. Come back tomorrow, it’ll be ok.
TooManyJens
I’m just assuming that someone decided a Newsmax module would be the trolliest possible thing they could use for testing during the redesign.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@dance around in your bones: Here’s an explanation.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@dance around in your bones:
I don’t know how to tell you without the explanation being rendered as a hyperlink. Maybe someone else can figure out how to post that.
ETA: thanks, Nostra…
Dead Ernest
Sort of intersting. I’m stuck… Er, bad choice of words tonight, I’m only able to access the site via iPhone this evening.
Switching from mobile to ‘regular’ view, the redesign is actually much nicer on a mobile device. I’ve got comments numbered, it is not at all unpleasant.
There is a LOT of blank space on the right side. All the stuff typically on the right is now underneath the comments (or posts on the home page).
I can imagine the non-mobile view on a computer screen looks horrible as y’all are saying, but on the phone the non-mobile is far superior to the ‘mobile view’. …so far.
TaMara (BHF)
screw it, it didn’t work
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Dead Ernest: I’m sure that will change, for the worse.
Ultraviolet Thunder
I’d love to stick around for Cole’s inevitable rant when he finds out we’ve been bitching about the new design. But I gotta try and sleep.
‘Night all. And Stuck, wherever you are, happy trails, man.
dance around in your bones
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Thanks – I understand it more now, but I still prefer the buttons, which I presume will return soon enough.
I see we have our whole nyms back now and the reply arrow isn’t half hidden, so things are improving.
Dump the Newsmax feed, though. Ugh.
Yatsuno
@Ultraviolet Thunder: I shall larf if there isn’t another posting by morning. From anyone. And this thread goes on ad infinitum.
scav
Current iteration
on Mr Pad certainly
is the best illustration of a comment thread I’m ever likely to see. I feel honored to have witnessed. Google’s gone quite elaborate for Mother’s Day too.
TaMara (BHF)
@dance around in your bones: If I remember correctly, last time we did this the last thing that got added was our HTML buttons.
PeakVT
Well, I certainly hope this isn’t the final version of the redesign, because it sucks elephant dick.
If it is, I’ll try to write a Stylish script for it as soon as possible. If there are professional CSS coders (unlike me) in the audience, please consider writing one as well.
ETA: and just as soon as I hit post, we’re back to the old design.
The prophet Nostradumbass
And, POOF! The old site is back.
MattR
Wow. The yoke has been lifted
(EDIT: Looks like they finally removed the virus that Stuck embedded to go off if anyone ever revealed his real name in the blog comments)
Princess Leia
Where is the little man?
Irish Steel
@MattR: Ha! Very meta.
dance around in your bones
@TaMara (BHF): Well, the center column just widened again, so hopefully the buttons can’t be TOO far behind!
Wish the font was larger and that we’d get the little striped pants guy with megaphone back again (and lose the candy half balloon) as well as the classy curvy grey numbers . I guess I’m conservative in that one area – sure, get a larger server and all, but why change the funky ambiance of the older layout? It was unique.
eta: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the buttons are back, we’re left-justified again, and the numbers are grey and curvyish. I should just shut up until it’s done.
Amir Khalid
I’m going off for the afternoon here. I wonder what I’ll see when I get back.
rda909
@TaMara (BHF): I see the width issues are improving, but having Newsmax links is not about some setting wrong somewhere. That’s a very specific choice. That propaganda mill exits solely to denigrate liberals and President Barack Hussein Obama. If this site continues to promote that crap, then anyone who considers themselves “liberal” or “logical” should never come here again. I wouldn’t say a word about formatting and technical issues with a re-design. I understand how difficult that stuff can be. Again…Newsmax = unacceptable. Deal-breaker.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@rda909: Look at the site now. Where is the Newsmax news box? Do you understand what a test version of something is?
Anne Laurie
New thread up top, anyone still cares.
Don’t ask me about the Alice-in-Wonderland style shifts, I’m just the cleaning lady!
rda909
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Of course I understand “what a test version is.” That’s why I didn’t care about formatting and other technical snafus. Explain how having a box of 8 Newsmax articles is necessary for testing.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@rda909:
Show us the way, man. Leave now and never come back.
BillinGlendaleCA
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@rda909: I’m sure your concerns have been noted by the management, and given the amount of weight they deserve.
billgerat
@billgerat:
Better.
rda909
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: Yes, perfect. Someone who hates Newsmax with a passion = someone we don’t want here. I actually expect the site owner is going to apologize for the snafu, and we’ll never see Newsmax headlines here again and it was just a f-up somewhere in the chain of command. Yet, some Online Progressives feel the need to get on my case for hating Newsmax so much. You have no problem with Newsmax….got it.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@rda909: I don’t like Newsmax either. Get off the fainting couch, you idiot.
rda909
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Yes, my supposed concern-trolling (according to you) about Newsmax headlines on BJ is ridiculous. Why sure, here’s a current headline on the Newsmax frontpage:
“Limbaugh: Obama Ultimately Responsible for Benghazi:
Conservative radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh declared that President Barack Obama will ultimately be held responsible for the Sept. 11, 2012, attack at the U.S. post in Libya — not former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.”
Yes, big deal, right? No harm in promoting and profiting that!
rda909
@The prophet Nostradumbass: So I specifically and consistently call out the difference between formatting issues with a site re-design (which I have no problem with), and having Newsmax headlines at the top of the page, and you and a friend here get on my case about it, and I’m the problem here or “idiot,” apparently. As I asked earlier, “explain how having a box of 8 Newsmax articles is necessary for testing.” I’m waiting…
Death Panel Truck
Dude, it’s just sports. Get over it.
SiubhanDuinne
Now, doesn’t that read better?
Steeplejack (tablet)
@PeakVT:
I have a Stylish style that I use to fix the current site design. Will adjust as necessary and publicize when the redesign stabilizes.
Steeplejack (tablet)
Mildly disappointed that no one last night linked the “Follow me! Follow me to freedom!” ESPN ad.
Corner Stone
@BillinGlendaleCA: well…yeah.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@SiubhanDuinne: Yes, thank you. As someone who watched the Orioles lose the Series when they were up 3-1 in 1979, that reads much better.
ADS
@MattR: Yes. Terry Gregson worked a terrible game, giving the Rangers a huge advantage.
ADS
It’s been a long, nightmarish three decades for Islander fans, such as me. We were paying for our amazing run — 19 consecutive playoff series wins, four cups. Glad they are beginning to look like a real team again.
low-tech cyclist
BRAVES WIN! BRAVES WIN! BRAVES WIN! BRAVES WIN! BRAVES WIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I remember that moment. :D