The Guardian liveblog is up to its usual high standards.
(Odds on Cole whinging that I stepped on his thread?)
ETA: It’s not what the Media birdbrains will jump on, but I would be really really pleased if the minimum wage were raised to $9 an hour!
ETAA: Nationwide pre-K and kindergarten would also be an excellent ROI program. Or as our RW friends call it: Big Guv indoctrinating our babies! ! !
ETAA: Guardian has a still photo of Ted Nugent. I think the Secret Service told him “Red dot lazer sight on your forehead all evening, Ted. Give us a reason, any reason.”
ETAA: “The families of Newtown deserve a vote!” Standing-o & shouts of agreement.
Baud
We want Rubio!
Mnemosyne
Amusing tweet from the Guardian feed:
Corner Stone
How would Cole know?
the Conster
He doesn’t sound like a secret Kenyan Islamo-fascist socialist to me, but then I’m not a nutjob.
Redshift
Weird. When I opened the Guardian page, the YouTube stream was ahead of C-SPAN on my TeeVee.
Corner Stone
I think all SoTUs are like this, but this seems like a fuckton of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
Baud
@Corner Stone:
People should know what they are losing out on for voting Republican.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
Thank you, Anne Laurie! The proprietor here could learn a thing or two from you.
Increase the minimum wage! You’d think a progressive was giving this speech. Heh.
Maude
The Guardian: They don’t understand US politics.
LittlePig
Barack “The Islamic Shock” Hussein Superallah Obama.
Awesome.
(bearing in mind talk is rather inexpensive)
Mnemosyne
Our friends trying to get their US green cards and/or citizenship will like the sound of this:
PsiFighter37
Hahaha, referencing Romney about a living wage tied to inflation. Just trolling the GOP now…
Corner Stone
Boehner just did the old timey drunk from a Western movie move. He did a little shimmy, a little shake, and brought his face down to meet the glass he’s drinking from.
James Hare
Andrew Sullivan shows his great empathy with his bit about the green ribbons. Apparently anything trying to point to that tragedy is “lame.”
Is the AIDS quilt “lame?”
dance around in your bones
Oooooh, Boner goes for the bourbon on the minimum wage thing. Even shakes his head.
In fact, I think he’s eating his tongue and heh! just wiped his ass.
Maude
@Redshift:
It’s the live WH feed at Guardian.
Cassidy
You could have stopped right there.
YellowJournalism
Biden looks so sweet and caring sitting next to Boehner, who looks like an absolute evil old man with his pointy eyebrows. With the perfect screenshot, you could do the old cartoon angel-and-devil-on-my-shoulder bit with Obama in the middle.
Corner Stone
@Baud: You think they’re going to learn it by listening about healing grids and immigrants who pay a hefty fine and then get in the back of the line?
Mars bitchez!
PsiFighter37
Still nothing about gun control or gay marriage yet. C’mon!
Mnemosyne
@James Hare:
He’s just bitter that his plan to support the Iranian revolt by having everyone change their blog’s background to green was hooted down as the stupid idea it was.
Baud
@Corner Stone:
End of war. McCain has a sad.
PsiFighter37
@Baud: Ironic enough, since if Vietnam never ended, he’d be rotting in a cell somewhere in Hanoi.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
@James Hare: You are going above and beyond the call in keeping up with his swill. Don’t expect hazard pay if you’re going to volunteer for that gig.
geg6
Fuck Cole. He’s too busy watching overbred prima donna goggies.
I prefer watching the Big O troll the GOP and Boehner gulping the vodka in his glass.
General Stuck
34,000 troops, that is all of them.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
@PsiFighter37: Oh, surely you know he’s building up to the gun issue. That’s gonna be the fury of fireworks that signals the end of the show.
Omnes Omnibus
Cyborg attacks? Eek!
Maude
@geg6:
He did well with education costs. I thought of you.
Bloomberg tweeted that high college costs cause inequality.
Redshift
@Maude: I know, but when I went to the WH page directly, it’s running behind the TV. Strange vagaries of signal propagation.
mdblanche
@Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn: Sort of like The 1812 Overture?
stinger
@PsiFighter37: No about marriage equality specifically, but he did say something right in the first couple of minutes about “no matter who you love”.
dance around in your bones
Boner’s shooting daggers from his eyes now – what, Congress actually has to WORK?
BruceFromOhio
I need Cokie Roberts to tell me what to think, this preznidentin’ is HARD.
Corner Stone
Honestly, if he started speaking in tongues it wouldn’t sound anymore implausible than the things he’s proposing now.
Suzanne
The Drunk Weeping Cheeto looks totally hung over.
Maude
@Redshift:
Yes it is. At least the stream is working.
Baud
@Corner Stone:
There’s always the dog show if this doesn’t suit you.
Corner Stone
“There’s justice and law in the United States. So long as you can afford it.”
the Conster
Classic Obama promoting a Commonwealth with a soupcon of nationalism and yes-we-can-ism. Suck it wingnuts!! He’s on a trolling roll now.
geg6
Boehner’s just rolling that vodka or bourbon or whatever alcohol that is around in his mouth every time he drinks. No one drinks water like that. That’s what you do with booze, especially if you just loooooove that booze.
PeakVT
…if the minimum wage were raised to $9 an hour!
and indexed to inflation. That part is an important goal, too.
BruceFromOhio
@Suzanne: The Weeping Cheetos will be the name of my new zydeco band.
Corner Stone
@Baud: At least there’s a probable successful outcome at the dog show. Unlike this dog & pony show nonsense.
Eric S.
Just checked off the “defend israel” box.
Anne Laurie
@Corner Stone: Tonight’s not about who the President pleases, it’s about who he pisses off.
Corner Stone
There’s The Gays!
YellowJournalism
Fuck you, Boehner, for not clapping on the “gay and straight” family line.
Smiling Mortician
There it is. Getting the social stuff in through military talk.
dance around in your bones
No applause from Boner on the ‘gay or straight’ line.
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: Do you switch over to bitter cynicism at 9:00 p.m. CST every night?
Xecky Gilchrist
@Corner Stone: Piefilter.
I mean, if you’re just going to say the same stuff over and over anyway, it might as well be about pie.
BruceFromOhio
@Corner Stone: Dude, there’s a portion of the punch bowl upon which you have yet to defecate. Please keep up?
mdblanche
@Baud: This dog show’s better. It’s a dog and pony show. PONIES!
General Stuck
@Corner Stone:
He’s telling us what a decent normal USA would look like, along with details and policies that would take us there. It’s up to the people to believe it or not.
Punchy
TPM says that the conservative SCOTUS judges didnt show up. Is this true? WTF?
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
@Suzanne: And, lo!, there was much lolling at in the Pantload household.
@geg6: To be honest, if I were feet away from Obama giving the SOTU, I’d want a damn fine Islay malt to go with the experience.
Baud
Voting reform!
Cain
OK, who is the really attractive blonde girl next to Dr. Jill Biden?
the Conster
TEH WIMMINS
Comrade Mary
Ha! Faked them out on the second amendment to talk about VOTING RIGHTS.
Smiling Mortician
Is Ruth Bader Ginsberg asleep?
Omnes Omnibus
@Punchy: I didn’t see them sitting there, so it is quite possible. Roberts is there though.
geg6
@Maude:
Yep. It’s a real issue that is holding back the economy.
Uh oh…voter reform. The wingers are freaking,
Baud
Romney, somewhere in America or the Cayman Islands, “Stop saying my name!”
Smiling Mortician
@Punchy: Alito, Scalia & Thomas are MIA.
Cain
Dianne Feinstein looks really evil.
GUN RIGHTS!
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
My, Ginsburg looks frail.
Elizabelle
Finally. Kids and gun violence.
Comrade Mary
Protecting the children — as a segue to gun control. Imminent Nuge explosion in 5 … 4 …
BruceFromOhio
@Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn: Belvenie 21, with a slender shard of iceberg
Cain
@Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn:
Yeah, she does :(
mdblanche
@Punchy: Scalia is supposedly giving a speech of his own tonight. Probably on a street corner.
Smiling Mortician
Guns. Here we go. “Each of these proposals deserves a vote in Congress.”
Maude
@General Stuck:
The commission to improve voting rights. He just set a fire under the Reps and they don’t like it.
PsiFighter37
Any bets on Ted Nugent shouting out something inappropriate?
Cain
Boehner looks like he’s going to get sick. He keeps looking up…
GregB
Fox News reporting that Jeremiah Wright is the designated survivor.
Corner Stone
@Xecky Gilchrist: Please don’t pie me! Please? Give me an eleventy chance! I swear I can do better!
Elizabelle
@Maude:
Co-headed by Governor Romney’s attorney. A shout out.
Corner Stone
@BruceFromOhio: I’m just working Baud over a little bit. Lighten up, Francis.
Comrade Mary
Shouting as he repeats that the gun control legislation deserves a vote.
Elizabelle
The families … deserve a vote.
Well done.
Cain
Prez is killin it.
geg6
Aaaaaaand here we go, gang! Gun safety, muthafuckahs!
THEY DESERVE A VOTE!
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Thank you to the foot of big for this thread.
RareSanity
What is the chant that’s going on during the applause?
Cassidy
@RareSanity: I don’t know but someone shouted they should be ashamed of themselves at the end.
Comrade Mary
I think it’s “Vote! Vote! Vote!” Or “Chug! Chug! Chug!”, for Boehner.
Punchy
Bidens black slit-eyes look goddamn ZOMBIE-LIKE
Cain
103 years old, and gets clapped by congress.. fucking awesome.
Suzanne
Clinton/Napolitano 2016, bitchezzz.
BruceFromOhio
@Corner Stone: Oh, Clare, you know me so well. I do miss the rotating tag line, tho.
Baud
Ironic twist: She voted for Romney
Elizabelle
i love it. The congresscritters are craning for a look at 102-year old Desseline.
mai naem
@mdblanche: Scalia’s giving a speech to the Westboro Church.
JCT
@GregB: At this point I wouldn’t be shocked if they did exactly that.
moda31
Wow, Boehner can’t even get up to applaud a 102 year old woman. That’s the definition of being a douche.
Poopyman
I should look so good at 103.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: That’s when my son goes to bed. And a small gap before I start responding to about 2 hours of work email.
I gotta get it in when I can.
Dan
@Cain: A teacher from Newtown. She is very attractive.
dance around in your bones
@Cain:
NO kidding. Boner looks like he’s barely restraining himself from a big ol’ eye roll.
Ok, Desiline looks – like a cool old lady! Why is it that all the people Obama brings along look like happy, functional, grateful, involved people?
Oh, I guess I know.
Cain
he’s spinning it up.. building it up. I can feel it! In the end he’s going to scream.. ‘Coooooooooooooole!!!’
RareSanity
@Cassidy:
Good grief…
@Comrade Mary:
Now that’s funny.
Anne Laurie
@Smiling Mortician:
They’re home, waiting with bated breath to get called to the Papal conclave!
mai naem
Where’s Nugent?
Poopyman
Wait, that’s it? That was a sudden wrap-up.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
@Punchy: He scratched a cornea with a contact lens.
RareSanity
Shorter Wolf Blitzer: Fuck the President! If it bleeds, it leads…out to California we go.
Elizabelle
@Anne Laurie:
Yeah. We sure Scalia’s not already in Vatican City?
He’ll take up celibacy. He done fathered his eight young ‘uns.
Cassidy
@RareSanity: I assumed it was Republicans saying something vulgar. I think that comment was aimed at them.
dance around in your bones
Ok, now brace yourselves for the MOST EVER AWESOME Republican responses!!
Bookmark it, libs!
/uh, snark of course.
Baud
@RareSanity:
That’s a good thing. The less Wolf talks about politics, the better.
Anne Laurie
@Cain:
Keeping an eye on the SS sniper assigned to Nugent?
(Yeah, I’m goin’ to hell)
Comrade Mary
The nerds are out! The nerds are out! Digital Strategy debriefs everyone on the WH feed.
But it’s not in Spanish, so it doesn’t count.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
@Smiling Mortician: Woody Allen has missed Oscar winnings because he always played clarinet with the boys on that night. Maybe A/S/T joined a jazz band?
GregB
@Smiling Mortician:
It’s bondage night at the local Opus Dei meeting. They get to personally whip an albino.
YellowJournalism
@dance around in your bones: I swear I caught an eye roll when Obama was talking about the 15-year-old who’d been shot. My husband thinks he was just looking up at her family.
CNN could not wait to break to the crazed killer cop story immediately after.
Corner Stone
@Dan:
That, my friend, is an understatement.
Anya
Who will be the first wingnut to ask for the 102 year old’s birth certificate. My money is on twitchy.
raven
Tweety is being a complete motherfucking asshole. God I’d like to slap this shit out of him.
gnomedad
Sounds like a good Photoshop 101 exercise.
ranchandsyrup
Who told Dorner to DIAF? He appears to have listened.
Xecky Gilchrist
@Anne Laurie: Keeping an eye on the SS sniper assigned to Nugent?
(Yeah, I’m goin’ to hell)
Speaking the truth doesn’t get you sent Down Below, I’d hope.
The SS would be idiots not to be keeping an eye on that maniac, and that’s the way they keep an eye on people, I reckon.
General Stuck
@Maude:
It is unlikely the republicans are going to do anything due to being unstable and splintered and of no use other than to say no as a group. It is not a difficult analysis by the Obama folks to try and make lemonade of some sort out of these lemons .
So Obama, imo, is speaking more so over the heads of republicans, directly to the American people, without inhibition of serious negotiation with republicans. It no doubt is pissing them off, but the ones with some situational awareness realize their party is in turmoil for the foreseeable future. All of the past 4 years of effort by Obama to reach out to the nutters as he promised in 08, is coming to fruition for his taking the high road, and using any number of rhetorical tricks to bait and switch the repubs. And get away with it.
The House of reps is a dead zone in American politics right now for doing anything of value, and poor Boehner is only useful in averting complete disaster by passing vital bills with dem votes. And at the same time trying to cover his own ass with man o mano blather about Obama, and dems. This period, I think, does have some potential for turning the electorate some away from republicans, if played right. It is already happening.
Omnes Omnibus
@raven: Michael Steele is pretty bad too.
Comrade Mary
Holy fucking shit. Early reports are that the cops deliberately set fire to Dorner’s cabin.
Dan
@Corner Stone: She is very very very attractive.
RareSanity
@Cassidy:
My “good grief” was basically the disappointment that any of them feel that applause (or the lack thereof) , are not sufficient demonstrations of their levels of agreement with what is being said.
Clap or don’t clap, your choice…just STFU!
This ain’t a Duke basketball game.
raven
@Comrade Mary: So what if they did. Flush his ass out or make him give up. Goddamn.
Anne Laurie
@Anya:
She’s a naturalized Haitian immigrant. I assume the Twitchyverse has already lost its meagre moiety of marbles over that, but I’m not gonna go looking.
Corner Stone
@Comrade Mary: Waco! Waco! Waco!
jamick6000
Joe Lieberman *and* SimpsonBowles
J.D. Rhoades
The gun nuts on Twitter are going insane over “they deserve a vote.” That one clearly left a bruise. Good.
Corner Stone
Did Tweety just say, “what an asshole” ? Or, “what about the House though” ?
RobertDSC-iMac G5
He got better as the speech went on. Glad for that.
Fuck the fucking deficit mania.
dance around in your bones
@YellowJournalism: Bring in the refs!
I never watch CNN, always MSNBC despite the criticisms (NOT Morning Ho, ever! + re: CNN cannot stand Wolfie).
Will wait to see if MSNBC (or ANYONE, frankly) goes to the Repub response in the face of the BRIGHT SHINY OBJECT of the Dornan chingadera.
RareSanity
@raven:
Good evening, Sir.
How does the evening find you? Still suffering from football related withdrawal symptoms, as am I?
Elizabelle
Best in show up now at Westminster.
Best in show at SOTU concluded.
Full Metal Wingnut
@Comrade Mary: That’s fine by me. This Dorner guy was not fucking around. He made clear that he would not be taken alive, and had just killed and seriously injured two cops an hour before.
Loneoak
The Onion killed it with this one.
TaMara (BHF)
Let the mocking begin.
Omnes Omnibus
@dance around in your bones: I’ve switched over to Notorious on TMC
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: I actually like Chairman Steele. I think he does his job pretty well, on balance.
eemom
Ended up watching. Mostly meh’d, but the last 10 minutes were fucking awesome.
Baud
Rubio!
Poopyman
@raven: Like I said below, they were losing daylight. Time to shit or cut bait. Or something.
magurakurin
@Comrade Mary:
They must be some cops from Philly who moved to LA back in ’85.
Corner Stone
American Exceptionalism Bitchez!
NotMax
Ah, if only Obama had whipped out 2 computer disks and said “Here on these disks are my administration’s jobs bill and my administration’s budget proposal.”
Then turned around, handed them to Boehner, and asked for a handshake commitment to bring them both to the floor for a vote within 100 days.
raven
@RareSanity: Yea, the Dawgs are playing Bama right now! I’m into hoop big time, it’s the baseball season that kills me.
Corner Stone
Ummm, that wasn’t at all what I heard Rubio. I would’ve had massively tiny boners if that’s what was said.
Cain
Rubio rockin with that teleprompter!
Ted & Hellen
Of course they fried Dorner in a fire. It is the code of silence being enforced with impunity by rogue cops.
Crispy dead men tell no tales.
RareSanity
Wow…Rubio’s ears are huge.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
They’re just so big in proportion to his head…they’re almost mesmerizing…can’t look away from the ears…
Poopyman
@magurakurin: Nah, they just wanted to do the same thing their daddies did on the SLA back in ’72.
Cassidy
I see Rubio has practiced his mastery of bullshit.
General Stuck
@Comrade Mary:
There was never the slightest chance Dorner would survive this. Rogue cops that capture the world’s attention by outing dirty department laundry, and promise to out more, all have to die. Especially after killing two cops. They said it was tear gas, but nobody believes them. I’m not one who has any sympathy for the man, as he murdered a pair of civilians to start his war. But I have no doubt the LAPD is rotten racist to the core, and have been a very long time.
mdblanche
Interesting fact: while the rift between establishment and tea party Republicans is so wide that they need to give two separate SOTU responses, the two Senators delivering them both voted against the Violence Against Women Act earlier today.
Dan
Hey Rubio, nice speech. For 2010.
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: I don’t mind American Exceptionalism when it is used as a motivational tool. A “damn it, we should be better than this” sort of thing.
raven
@Poopyman: Fuckin A, I wouldn’t have cared if they put a hellfire on his ass. Willie Peter make you a believer.
GregB
Now Marco Rubio for the Tiger Beat response to the State of the Union.
Poopyman
You guys actually watching Rubio? What’s the point?
Ted & Hellen
Doesn’t “American Exceptionalism” posit that we already ARE better than everyone else, so why change anything?
gian
Dorner probably shot himself first. Local CBS affiliate managed to have repoter at the scene … it was tear gas launched in followed by demand to surrender. Followed by single shot from inside
Then they let it burn
Elizabelle
Some beautiful dogs.
I want them all.
Corner Stone
Rubio is one of the whiniest little weenies I’ve ever seen. “Waaahhhh!! Obama says mean things about people that lie about him!”
Baud
@Poopyman:
He’s just a chaser for the real deal: Rand Paul
ChrisNYC
The absolutely most appealing thing about Rubio is that his heart’s not in it. I like that he just oozes that he’s happy with a nice family and a good job. Won’t get him to the WH though.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
Big gummint caused the housing disaster!
Obamacare killed the mom’n’pop!
Recycling the ol’ “I’m from the government” boogeyman.
But he comes off as weak tea, at best.
raven
@Poopyman: Picture in Picture with the hoop on the big screen.
NotMax
Marco, it’s nighttime. In winter.
Close the freakin’ curtains to conserve energy.
Corner Stone
ACORN thugs!!
TaMara (BHF)
Rubio speaks to the base. How is that 27% going to make him a rock star?
BobS
The usual Obama feel-good stuff. When he leaves office in 2017, the only thing he mentioned tonight that will be a reality is the Trans Atlantic Partnership, the latest iteration of NAFTA he’s so enthusiastic about
Baud
Solyndra!
Darkrose
“Hello, I’m Marco Rubio, and I support violence against women.”
RareSanity
Tonight’s response to the State of The Union, is being brought to you by Fox News.
David in NY
I think a chant of “Vote, vote, vote” is always appropriate.
dance around in your bones
@Omnes Omnibus: Probably a wise choice, but I prefer to point and mock.
Rubio doesn’t look as goofy as Jindal, but his ideas are no different.
Christ, he’s even bringing up privatization of schools as “choice”. He seems to be trying to be decisive and insightful, but someone over coached him on the hand gestures thing. He looks like he is chopping vegetables at a Benihana.
ETA: OMG, he just ducked and slurped from a water (?) glass! It looked…rather odd.
TriassicSands
@Baud:
I’m listening to Rubio right now — and he’s an idiot, but then he’s a Republican so that goes without saying.
Rubio could give this speech while hiding in a closet with no contact with outside world and just the collected speeches of Milton Friedman and a copy of Atlas Shrugged to supply his material.
Baud
Damn, I’m not looking forward to hearing this again in Spanish…and I don’t speak Spanish.
raven
“We must follow through on the broken promises of the past”. Mensa motherfucker.
fleeting expletive
Marco R sports an impressive five o’clock shadow.
Ted & Hellen
@raven:
Of course you wouldn’t care. You are an authoritarian moron with no respect for the (alleged) judicial system of the country you’re always frothing about having “served.”
BD of MN
dammit, I had Benghazi before Soylndra in the pool…
Anya
@raven: Tweedy is emotionally ify at best. He’s hot and cold towards the president. It’s hard to predict him.
@Anne Laurie: Isn’t there a frontpager who’s assigned to the wingnut beat.
the Conster
@BobS:
I just read that in Eeyore’s voice.
Corner Stone
We need student aid that funnels money directly to shady for-profit educational shams and high interest payments to scummy banks.
Corner Stone
Yeah you stupid fuck! On motherfucking Iraq!
Baud
WHY THE FUCK DOES HE KEEP TOUCHING HIS FACE!
batgirl
We need nontraditional programs, like those bullshit for-profit online “colleges” that milk your and the government’s money without delivering much.
How many lies, Rubio? I’ve lost track.
raven
@Ted & Hellen: Yea, you are right, they should have talked him out with your punk ass as a human shield.
Lord Jesus Perm
Rubio’s response is Bobby Jindal level bad.
This is embarrassing.
TaMara (BHF)
Outright lies are all they have, isn’t it?
mdblanche
@the Conster: There’s a reason the Democratic Party symbol is a donkey.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
Republicans: “We ain’t got nuttin’. Lie your ass off for 20 minutes, Marco.”
batgirl
@Corner Stone: You said that much better than I did.
Ted & Hellen
@Poopyman:
Maybe so they know what he actually said?
So they can, you know, have an informed opinion?
Oh. Never mind…
NotMax
Rubio is salivating at like a pint a minute.
Old Dan and Little Ann
Does Rubio have a lisp or is my tv fucked up?
ETA That grab for the water was hysterical.
MobiusKlein
quoting from the best:
still true after 4 years
I told my wif this quote and she got it in one.
YellowJournalism
Rubio reminds me of the biggest douchebag on the high school debate team. He has a certain cadence to his speech that comes off as condescending and dickish.
Presenting school choice as advocacy for children with special needs is wrong in so many ways.
gogol's wife
@the Conster:
LOL. It works.
BD of MN
shorter Rubio: “Medicare cuts for thee, not for me (and my mom)…”
GregB
@Baud:
He LIES!
ChrisNYC
What is the breathing in sound? And the gesturing! Excessive gesturing! Bill Clinton is just shaking his head, patronizingly. Holy moly! The Water!
Corner Stone
That was awful.
Face
Someone forgot to tell Michigan there was a game tonite.
Also, too Rubio just oooooooooozzzes the phony.
Throwin Stones
WTF. Is Rubio Jindal Jr?
RareSanity
LOL
Rubio: Hold on a sec, I need a sip of water…
Corner Stone
Moral breakdown?
Baud
Dry Mouth kills presidential ambitions!
Cassidy
Water break? Amateur.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
OK, that highly awkward reach for the wawa baba was just the comic relief I needed after listening to this lying goob.
Loneoak
Does Rubio have a lisp or another speech deficit? It sounds like his tongue is twice the size it should be.
Throwin Stones
WTF. Is Rubio Jindal Jr?
On stetoids?
Todd
Rubio has a horrendous delivery, and is already a victim of SOTU response disease, which has a 100% political career mortality rate.
Dan
Glurg
YellowJournalism
Lmfao! That moment with the water bottle just confirmed my first impression.
That moment was made for SNL parody.
batgirl
We need to change Medicare and it will be great. But these great changes won’t affect current retirees. Why not, Rubio, if these reforms are so great?
Bob In Portland
Does anyone think this guy Rubio is in any way selling the Republican agenda?
ChrisNYC
Oh my and the looking back at the camera mid reach! It’s a killer.
raven
@Bob In Portland: Ted does.
Todd
@Baud:
Tweaking. Meth will do that.
BobS
@the Conster: Then you won’t mind if I read your comment in Peter Pan’s voice?
ChrisNYC
“Next chapter” and the student loan thing. Both cold stolen from President Obama.
danielx
Quote from TPM from the…Rubio Speech Live Blog
Talk about your soft bigotry of low expectations; giving a better speech than Jindal did in his SoTU rebuttal doesn’t require much heavy lifting.
This shit just about writes itself, don’t it now?
batgirl
Ouch, that smile at the end.
Corner Stone
What’s exceptionally sad is that Marco Rubio just blew Bobby Jindal’s speech out of the water.
GregB
He looked like a kid stealing a sip from daddy’s beer.
This sweaty whinging clown is finished.
sb
Is Rubio giving his rebuttal from a sauna?
sb
Is Rubio giving his rebuttal from a sauna?
mdblanche
¿Dónde estaba el español?
BillinGlendaleCA
Just listened/watched Marco, Kenneth the Page was better.
NotMax
Guess the GOP couldn’t rustle up a 103-year-old to one-up the prez.
dance around in your bones
Also, waiting to see if anyone airs his Spanish address…..I can see 27% of the audience (ok, maybe more) going WTF?) Oh, and I speak/understand Spanish.
Tweety’s actually ripping Rubio a new one.
mouse tolliver
I can’t believe someone thought it would be a good idea to let Albert Brooks respond to the president.
? Martin
Rubio has pretty good potential as a speaker, but that speech was shit. It was usual teatard puke. And the water bottle? Come on!
And there’s a MORE teatard speech coming yet? GOP isn’t doing shit to attract voters with this crap.
Loneoak
Okay, what’s the #InvisibleObama equivalent of the Rubio water debacle?
#FurtiveSip
#PolandSpringSucks
Elizabelle
Y’all are watching Rubio. I am seeing an Affenpinscher named Banana Joe. After a smooth haired terrier.
These dogs are cool as cukes and telling no lies.
NotMax
@mdblanche
It was pre-recorded several days ago for use on Spanish-language media.
danielx
@MobiusKlein:
Don’t know about the best, but one of Cole’s best; worthy of Charlie Pierce on a rampage. Though I’d have substituted two day old Big Macs for tire rims.
mdblanche
Shorter Rubio: The President’s so mean to us. It’s not faaaaair.
@NotMax: That figures. He wouldn’t want to have it someplace the old white guys might hear it, would he?
g
That’s OK, Marco. My mouth gets dry when I’m lying, too.
Comrade Mary
The Rubio Rehydration Moment of 2013 has already been giffed.
I love the Internets.
batgirl
I really don’t get this Republican obsession with “The President is picking on us.” The Republicans continually complain about Obama, call him names and question his motives and I don’t see Obama running around like a child screaming Stop picking of me. Its politics. Get used to it or get out.
NotMax
@
#H2OMG
NotMax
@Loneoak
#H2OMG
Comrade Jake
@Comrade Mary:
Stay thirsty my friends!
Anne Laurie
@Loneoak:
My Puerto Rican acquaintances have always complained that Cubans lisp, in Spanish and English.
Not watching Rubio right now, so don’t know if it’s a personal idiolect or a mother-tongue
itheeyuissue.mir13
I feel sorry for anyone with the unenviable task of following an Obama speech. Remember Dick Vader’s Dueling Torture speech? Neither does anyone else. Messed up the old dude so bad he needed a new heart. Get the hook!
mouse tolliver
Rubio might know who Tupac is, but somebody should’ve told him what The Borg is. I can’t believe he used the word “assimilate” with all the negative connotations it has.
Loneoak
#DryMouth2016
gogol's wife
@Comrade Mary:
Thank you! I can’t stand to watch these things live, but my curiosity was piqued!
amk
@Comrade Mary: LOL. Love it.
Loneoak
@Anne Laurie:
It might have been his dry mouth as the sole or aggravating cause. Right after I wrote that he had the infamous drink.
Comrade Mary
Oh, God, the video clip. He’s an overdressed Boy Scout on a day hike through Death Valley.
Talks too fast, too.
g
It’s OK, Marco. My mouth gets dry when I’m lying, too.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@batgirl: I didn’t watch it, but from what people are saying and tweeting– he brought up fucking Solyndra, fercrissake?– Rubio did the same thing Romney did, and Republicans have been doing for five years, they’re just talking to themselves. I’m surprised he didn’t bring up the Benghazi talking points
danielx
@? Martin:
But if they let Ted Nugent speak, he’ll by god make sure that the 27% don’t stray off the reservation*, if he has to shoot every last one of them.
*Not that they would – after all, where are they going to go, politically speaking? The Angry White Guy Party just doesn’t make it from a marketing standpoint, even if that’s really what they are already.
Comrade Mary
This GIF goes to eleven.
amk
mayor colemans’ tweet
Can’t tell: is Rubio suffering from dry mouth or are his ideas just so old and withered they’re sapping his last drops of moisture?
mouse tolliver
@Anne Laurie: For me, the hardest part of Rosetta Stone’s standard Spanish lessons is that lisp. Growing up gay in the south, a lisp is something to be avoided if possible. Your life may depend on it.
Corner Stone
@Comrade Mary:
It was almost like he was reaching over to grab a pair of dirty panties to sniff deeply of.
Like he knew he shouldn’t but he just could not fucking help himself.
GxB
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
The chicken must be fucked.
Comrade Mary
I’m DYING here: Boehner bangs the gavel incessantly, wishing you’d all shut the hell up.
NotMax
Rubio: the face that launched a thousand sips.
JustRuss
If you overlook all the lying, Rubio did OK. I thought the “economy shrank last quarter” meme had been debunked, but I guess he didn’t get the memo.
Baud
Where’s Paul? Maybe he’ll eat some BBQ during his speech?
Corner Stone
@Elizabelle:
I was accused of that once. I was probably guilty of it but I honestly had no idea what they were talking about.
Corner Stone
@danielx:
What’s..uh..wrong with two day old Big Macs?
Omnes Omnibus
@JustRuss:
Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Suzanne
I just watched the water break. Good Lord, that was AWKWARD. Totally killed my boner.
Suffern ACE
@batgirl: They aren’t used to be treated like this as party leaders. Oh, no. They can spend four years castigating Pelosi as the madwoman madame mao until she isn’t speaker anymore, but noting that their guy kinda cries and maybe drinks. Boo hoo.
Corner Stone
Will someone please spritz Ginsburg in the face with some ice water? Take a hint from tha freakin’ Pope lady!
amk
@NotMax: lmao. so stolen and tweeted.
dance around in your bones
So is anybody showing the Teabagger response? Or did it just appear on Faux News?
Ok, Rachel is talking about it – apparently it was only online.
Baud
@dance around in your bones:
I was waiting for it on MSNBC. How was it?
mir13
Enough of the opening band. Bring on the white guys. Paulie and the Nuge! ‘MuricaFuckYeah! And if we’re really lucky a Meat Loaf/Mitt Romney duet of ‘Murica The Beautiful. The GOP, love ’em or leave ’em.
GregB
Rand Paul stopped his speech midstream to dip his balls in a mug of hot water.
Less awkward than Rubio.
scav
Rubio: Ready to lead the Sip of State..
Omnes Omnibus
Please, it is Newtown, not Newton. Personal pet peeve of my as a former resident.
ranchandsyrup
@Elizabelle: banana joe is hilarious. Didn’t watch tonight but saw him over the weekend in some lesser contest.
GxB
Did anyone ever track down what was up with the unhinged contingent of the Supremes? Did they actually blow the whole thing off?
Christ… What a (pack of) asshole(s)
Comrade Mary
@Suzanne: You and Ben Smith are in the same boat now, sweetie.
the Conster
@BobS:
oh snap
Corner Stone
@Baud:
Wouldn’t that be awesome if he did a variation on the Chris Rock BBQ rib riff?
“How much for just one rib?”
dance around in your bones
@Baud: I’m still waiting for it on MSNBC.
Rachel only alluded to it as being available online and showed a picture of the curly headed son.
Corner Stone
I think Robert Gibbs sucks, but he just stuck Rubio right in the frackin face with that “lurch left for water” line.
Dayum.
woozywinks
NPR coverage studiously avoids any mention of voting rights.. At lest the first 20 minutes i listened to.. So awful
NotMax
Sour, bitter grapes.
jamick6000
@batgirl:
They have a massive self-victimization complex
Mike in NC
Rubio shit the bed, but Chuck Turd on MSNBC will argue otherwise.
Elizabelle
@ranchandsyrup:
he is cute as can be, and spirited
ETA: as one could say about Miss Nordstrom shopper. She’s darling.
Corner Stone
@NotMax: Unfortunately, can’t really blame him on this. When you have elected reps bringing The Nuge to it, and all applause lines are predicted, what’s the point?
TriassicSands
@NotMax:
Tony Calzone thinks he “lends dignity” to events.
That’s rich.
dance around in your bones
@NotMax: Oh, like Scalia could lend dignity to anything.
Loneoak
@NotMax:
Yeah, I don’t think dignity works in that direction.
debit
@GregB: This just caused me to laugh convulsively for at least ten minutes. I am now drained and happy. It was better than my last orgasm. Thank you.
eemom
@Omnes Omnibus:
The Prez distinctly said Newtown, I noted.
Su pet peevas es mi pet peevas.
Smiling Mortician
@Corner Stone: Well, yeah, but the notion that Scalia’s presence would lend dignity to the occasion is pretty fucking funny.
ETA: Well, shit. I’m a slower typist than I thought.
sb
@Corner Stone: You think Scalia says the same thing if a Republican were president? You think he, Thomas and Alito stay home? EDIT: Or would think it beneath them for the sake of ‘dignity’?
GxB
@NotMax:
Oh FFS! Dignity and Scalia aren’t even in the same zip code.
NotMax
@Corner Stone
Howzabout a modicum of respect for the office of the President, for the performance of a Constitutional duty no originalist can deny, and for the public exercise of government gathered together?
The whole Nugent brouhaha I don’t get. If he has a ticket, he can attend and stay so long as he abides by the decorum. End of story. That he’s a nutball is beside the point.
Donut
@GregB:
Oh shit, that was funny. Teabagging gone horribly wrong.
Corner Stone
@debit: I…uh..please don’t spritz me with patchouli scent.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@dance around in your bones: aw, come on, he’s is rockin’ that Saint Thomas More hat with all kinds of digni ‘tude. I can’t find a good picture of his famous “vaffanculo” moment.
I didn’t watch it for the reasons Corner Stone cited. But I would remind Fat Tony that 1) it was Reagan who started turning the SOTU into showbiz with the stunt guests, which I hate no matter who is president 2) we were all supposed to be outraged that Obama criticized the Vestal Virgins of the Court, if they’re all ceremonial high priests, they should show up for the ceremonies
cckids
@Dan: I know, right? It was like he was playing Tea Party Bingo. Only thing missing was a Gadsden Flag lapel pin.
dance around in your bones
So has anyone heard from the Nuge since the SOTU ended? No pithy comments, insults, big balls up in your face comments to POTUS?
Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Did he even actually attend? (and why do I care?)
NotMax
Wondering how undignified the inauguration would have been without Scalia present.
Answer: Not a whit.
Hope the Supreme Court has extra-wide doorways that Scalia can squeeze his inflated head through.
Corner Stone
@sb: He hates The Islamic Shock. Why would I expect him to act differently?
They shattered the legitimacy, and dignity, of the SCOTUS in Bush v Gore.
Let that motherfucker sing out like he was auditioning for “Singing in the Rain”.
dance around in your bones
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Oh gawd, that hat. I busted a gut or two.
Supreme GRAVITAS! He thinks he haz it!
ranchandsyrup
@Elizabelle: Thanks! Have a good night.
Anya
Platonicspoof
Not that it matters, but the full text of
Rand Paul’s response (or whatever it is, I only read the first web page) is at Politico.
I thought at least Fox would carry it, but haven’t seen it there yet.
Mezz (apa Michael2)
@Corner Stone: Wow. I was kind of thinking the same thing – the lunge couldn’t be helped – but lacked the . . uh . vivid imagery. (And I believe yours is most apt.)
JS
POLITICAL RULE #1
Try not to speak just before Barack Obama does.
POLITICAL RULE #2
Never, NEVER speak just after Barack Obama does.
Established January 3, 2008.
vtr
NPR exhumed Mona F. Charen to comment on the SOTU and GOP response. Mona Charen. It chose not to bother with R. Paul.
Rubio’s thoroughly weasel-speech I think would earn him a B, in his 10th grade speech class.
Suffern ACE
@vtr: Waiting for John Dickerson to chime how Rubio made a very eloquent argument, but it just wasn’t executed very well. Then he’ll continue on to state what the eloquent argument was and declare Rubio to have given the best speech of the night.
amk
@JS: stolen.
amk
bin laden weighs in.
MoeLarryAndJesus
I like how they sat Nugent next to Elton John’s stunt double.
WaterGirl
@GregB:
That was so good I must have read it about 5 times.
dance around in your bones
@Platonicspoof:
Ha! I made a valiant effort but also couldn’t be arsed to go past page one. Muy patético.
max
@dance around in your bones: Did he even actually attend? (and why do I care?)
Behold! A giant bag of douche!
He could record a new hit (to replace the one old hit!)! ‘I Need An Enema!’
—
It appears that Dorner was not in the cabin when it burned to the ground, begging the question of whether or not he was in it in the first place. (A LEO got killed so presumably Dorner shot him, but after that, it is the big murk.) Extra bonus fun: they chased off the news helicopters, but the lady who owned the cabin said there is no wired access. So not much point to it exactly.
max
[‘Lots of ammo was expended, so a big win there.’]
Steeplejack
@mouse tolliver:
Drop the lisp and tell people you’re doing Latin American Spanish, not Castilian. Problemo solvado. (Not intended to be factual Spanish.)
dance around in your bones
@max: Oooooh! Ted’s got his moue face on!
Wanker.
FFS – Boner actually said this?
“…he would like “a little foreplay first” from the president before embracing a path to citizenship for undocumented workers in an immigration bill. ”
Talk about sublimation.
handsmile
That BIG GULP you’re hearing is from the Village media en masse suddenly realizing that the national political future of its most recently anointed “GOP Savior” has just been flushed away.
Marco, no mas, no mas….
Also too, tomorrow’s word: “Xerostomia.”
wasabi gasp
A juice box might have been endearing.
Anne Laurie
New thread up top, for completists…
lojasmo
@Ted & Hellen:
Most of the other people here can read.
Your mileage may vary. Though from the comments I gather it was a fun watch.
On topic, The pres. killed it.
Corner Stone
@lojasmo:
Oh God. This is awful. Should we recommend you for another 3 days off without pay so you can run trails barefoot?
This imagery…so violent. What’s it going to take for you to understand your violent threats of violence just aren’t acceptable in society?
You’re not Jack Nicholson in Wolf, for God’s sake.
Please don’t hurt me for pointing this simple plea out.
Original Lee
Did anybody else notice that Rubio did NOT say from where his parents emigrated? Is this because Cubans consider themselves superior to other Hispanics, or for some other reason?
Yutsano
@Original Lee: All browns look alike and think alike. Therefore Spanish surname = instant WIN to the Republicans. They’re just the housecleaners after all.
Gian
@max:
it’s just confused reports. the news stations are in LA, and have LAPD employee sources. Since the cabin is in san Bernardino county, and it was their deputies who were shot and at least one killed. San Bernardino county is the primary source for what happened.
What they say is they haven’t gone into the cabin to look for the body.
I expect it may be like the old game of telephone
Original Lee
@Yutsano: I thought it might be something like that.
This just occurred to me, though: Rubio’s Spanish probably has a Cuban accent, so he didn’t need that line for the Spanish version of the speech and consequently left it out of the English-language version. (A small benefit of the doubt.)
lojasmo
@Corner Stone:
Wow. I hope your dainty hands aren’t permanently dented from your pearls.
Have a nice day, sweetie.
ETA: Stalking behavior can be seen as violent in itself. You may want to check that.
Full Metal Wingnut
@max: That’s a shame. I was having fun with all the concern trolls over the fire death.