We’re all doomed. Alan Simpson is doing the pony dance.
<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/kjLuj0EhsQg” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>
I need to go outside a paint a giant X so the meteor knows where to land and all. Maybe a nice bowl of Meteor Chow, too. It’s probably hungry after the long trip. It would have less of a devastating impact on the country than Alan Simpson’s dumbass plan, with the exception of the nifty crater.
Carry on, then. I’ll be at the store getting some supplies. Gonna miss Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA beer though. Shame.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
What’s on the video? All videos either need to come with a description or, preferably, a transcript.
clussman
Oh come on now. We’re the side with a sense of humor, remember? That was pretty funny. I give him credit for trying and for even knowing that Instagram is a thing. It’s a long way from a series of tubes.
Steeplejack
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
It’s Alan Simpson juking Gangnam style in support of his “fix the deficit” site. And by “juking” I mean “teetering unsteadily in advance of breaking a hip.”
El Cid
Could all of you fucking young people drop everything you’re doing and fuck over everyone you know so old fuckers like me can feel better that our and other rich people’s money won’t ever go to anybody other than us?
Could all of you responsible young folk please just finally grow up, understand the importance of this issue, and agree to shoot the vast majority of your fellow citizens in the equivalent of their fucking heads so that people can feel a lot better about the chance for struggling centi-millionaires to become billionaires, and billionaires to become trillionaires?
Would you stop burdening the young with the dread threat of the super-rich feeling aggrieved and just all agree to live out the cool Mad Max future we think you deserve?
Corner Stone
Alan Simpson has some kind of plan? How the heck can that be?
I was told repeatedly that since BS never came out of committee that it would go the way of the DoDo and would never be heard from again.
Corner Stone
@El Cid:
Sure, I think I could do that.
Schlemizel
@El Cid:
Sounds like a plan. Bearing down on 61 myself I see no down side to this. How do we get everyone else to jump off the bridge?
mdblanche
“You damn kids and your music, get off my lawn and do what I tell you.”
I see the Republican youth outreach strategy is the same as all their other new outreach strategies to people who won’t vote for them.
Knockabout
Such trenchant and useful commentary from the most worthless of the front pagers. Yawn.
MattF
I like the concept of setting out a bowl of Meteor Chow. But I also think that Simpson has a realistic view of the dignity of the title ‘Ex-Senator’. I can think of a few other ‘Ex’-something-or-others who should be taking notes.
KG
Didn’t the last meteor give us the Gulf of Mexico, allegedly? I’ve been to the Gulf Coast, it’s lovely in the places I’ve seen, so maybe that won’t even be bad.
ETA: ok, maybe it was just plate tectonics, but I like the idea of a big boom causing it.
JGabriel
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Shorter Simpson: “We must cut Social Security now, to save it from being cut twenty-five years from now!
.
KG
Also, too, can someone please explain to me the appeal of IPAs? Seriously, I don’t get it. Love stouts and ales, lagers and pilsners are acceptable, but IPAs are like drinking distilled gym sock sweat. Is it just because they’re strong?
jl
@JGabriel: I will have to watch it later, but did he add in his schtick about how we can’t pay back the trust fund for lesser people that does not exist because we, your betters, have spent it on other things, and the money is ‘gone’ now?
arguingwithsignposts
@Knockabout: oh look, the most useless of Fp stackers. Yawn.
El Cid
@Schlemizel: It depends on how many millions you got. If you ain’t into the tens of millions of dollars (we’re talking money here, not just property), then you too can enjoy the fun of having the young folk do what good concerned principled conservatives like Simpson want, hand Social Security monee to Wall Street to fund another casino bubble for a while, hand you a coupon and promise you it’ll be good for some sort of non-Medicare insurance or whatnot, and moving in with whatever relatives or younger folk you know so someone can spoon feed you the fridge leftovers about to go bad until you have the decency to die off.
BGinCHI
Was Bart Simpson not available?
There are nearly 300 million people in this country, several thousand universities, and we are thinking about listening to the stupidest among us?
When will Paul Krugman become as large as Godzilla and start ravaging our cities?
Knockabout
Can Zandar take a long vacation from this blog too ?
Short Bus Bully
Uh……
This Republican outreach to the youth of America thing is going to have to step up it’s game JUST A FUCKING LITTLE BIT.
weaselone
@BGinCHI:
Why would he ravage the cities? Wouldn’t the suburbs and rural areas be Krugzilla’s more natural targets along with the occasional foray into a major urban area to take out a right wing think tank?
El Cid
You kids get off of my lawn and get ready to work on it!
The Moar You Know
@KG: No such luck, the impact crater wasn’t nearly that big.
Big enough to rain down fiery death on almost every corner of the globe, though. And to leave us with a neat cave system down in the Yucatan that fills up with water, the cenotes.
Roger Moore
@KG:
Some people like hoppy beer, and IPA gives it to them. A really good IPA has a lot of the aromatic, flavorful part of the hops, too, not just the bitterness. If you’re more of a malt person, an IPA isn’t necessarily going to appeal to you. That said, if you ever get a chance to try Pliny the Elder, do not pass it up.
Corner Stone
Just more to love about how the Village really works:
Obamacare architect leaves White House for pharmaceutical industry job
Yes, it’s a GG link.
“The pharmaceutical giant that just hired Fowler actively supported the passage of Obamacare through its membership in the Pharmaceutical Researchers and Manufacturers of America (PhRMA) lobby. Indeed, PhRMA was one of the most aggressive supporters – and most lavish beneficiaries – of the health care bill drafted by Fowler. Mother Jones’ James Ridgeway proclaimed “Big Pharma” the “big winner” in the health care bill. And now, Fowler will receive ample rewards from that same industry as she peddles her influence in government and exploits her experience with its inner workings to work on that industry’s behalf, all of which has been made perfectly legal by the same insular, Versailles-like Washington culture that so lavishly benefits from all of this.”
ShadeTail
What are you doing, Zandar? Don’t call the meteor here, have it land in Isreal. That would solve at least 50% of the Middle East problem in one fell swoop (or one swell foop).
Cassidy
@KG: No, you’re right; they taste like shit.
djork
Hoppy beer = hangover for Djork.
Randy P
It’s kind of weird how every front-pager has their own personal troll here. Does John run some kind of breeding farm and pull one out of the cage when awarding you FP status? Is there some sort of secret ceremony? Do you have to go on a Troll Vision Quest to find your own?
Corner Stone
@weaselone:
ROI. He’s an economist first, society destroying monster second.
You’d get awful damn hungry stomping from county to county in Texas once you get West past Austin. And isn’t there like one decent size city’s worth of population if you combine like Wyoming, ND and SD?
muddy
@Cassidy: Excessive hops = skunk piss. I’m more for the ale.
JGabriel
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Knockabout:
So, I just looked up some of your previous comments, Knockabout, and it seems you mostly restrict yourself to commenting on Zandar’s posts.
That’s awfully odd behavior for someone who claims not to like him. In fact, you seem obsessed with Zandar — and stalking him — as if you’d been romantically or sexually rejected by him in the past.
It’s a bit sad, really.
.
Corner Stone
Jeez, Rex Ryan looks like a broken man and that he has completely quit on this team.
ShadeTail
@JGabriel:
But very very funny.
Cassidy
@muddy: I like lagers, pilsners, ales, mostly wheats though, but I just can’t enjoy IPA’s. I’ve tried them. I revisit them occassionally, but I’d rather kill the beast.
Ivan Ivanovich Renko
May I recommend Sixpoint Brewing’s “Resin” IPA? A most delightful brew, 9.1% ABV and hopped right to perfection.
It’s good enough I’m still hoping for a meteor miss.
ranchandsyrup
If they can just conservasplain things and add some “hip” and “fresh” current cultural references, I’m sure all the young whipper snappers will come around to being proper deficit scolds.
Joel
@KG: IPAs are like the big trucks of beers. I’m not a fan of them myself. And I like virtually every kind of beer that is made. I even like Chicha.
Roger Moore
Could you do it right outside of where ALEC (or whatever super-secret group is replacing it) is going to meet? That way if the meteor is only big enough to do local damage, it will take out a majority of our problems in one go.
Roger Moore
@Joel:
How about Xingu?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
“These old coots will clean out the treasury before you get there…”
Well, I guess statistically older people did give more support to the people who cut taxes and declared a war of choice (among its other problems) at the same time.
peach flavored shampoo
Alan Simpson = Abe Simpson
SatanicPanic
@KG: I’m over the race to see who can jam the most hops into beer.
rlrr
@mdblanche:
This, for example…
Dork
@JGabriel: Perhaps a self-deprecating sock-puppet by Zandar? Or maybe self-defecating?
Cassidy
@SatanicPanic: Maybe I’ll just go back to Lambic. I could be happy drinking Lambic and Wheat beer.
muddy
Tweety had Alan Simpson on his show last week (this week?) and Tweety was all excited to be talking to the great man, from the olden dayz with Tip etc. Of course Tweety does not share Simpson’s views at all, but olden dayz trumps.
Tweety fascinates me. Yesterday he was saying something about urban vs. rural, but he started calling the rural people Cracker Barrel Country for some reason (started saying “cracker”?). His final words before commercial? “I love cheese!”
http://cheezburger.com/1575866112 String, cheese, whatever. He’s like a SNL parody of himself sometimes, it’s tremendous. Every person he has on the show practically is his favorite, the best person evah! He’s dog-like in his enthusiasms. Can you imagine him around the house?
Linda Featheringill
@Corner Stone: #6
“Could all of you fucking young people . . . ”
:-)
Villago Delenda Est
@Knockabout:
Can fucktard stalker take a long vacation from this dimension?
David in NY
@JGabriel: @Dork:
Really odd — especially since all his comments are basically ad hominem.
hilts
OT
RIP Dave Brubeck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc34Uj8wlmE
raven
Wanted: A good home for a flesh eating beetle starter colony. Requirements: Dark room kept at 85 degrees for three months, daily feeding, “misting”, not too much, not too little. Oy!
Villago Delenda Est
@muddy:
What’s the deal with him? Is there something in his past, like an internship at Tiger Beat, that would explain this behavior?
Linda Featheringill
@David in NY:
Zandar didn’t call. Obviously.
raven
@David in NY: Spatula
mdblanche
@peach flavored shampoo: I thought that was an onion I saw tied to his belt.
@rlrr: Now how could anyone object to that? Next thing you know you’ll be telling me Republicans have a problem with Asian American voters too.
SatanicPanic
@Cassidy: What’s Lambic? I’m not all that picky with beer, I just have a limited interest in hops.
Chyron HR
@Corner Stone:
Sure, it’s been a couple years and Alan Simpson’s crazy old man rants are no closer than ever to becoming law, but HE STILL EXISTS. Check and mate, Obots!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
There is something about watching all that unchecked id live on camera. And his infatuation with Simpson is long-standing. He and Fred Thompson used to fill in for Tweety, as TV hosts, while they were still sitting, if lame-duck, United States senators. Took my breath away. And he fawns all over elected Republicans in general. Tom Delay is always “Mr Leader”, and he scolded Joan Walsh for pointing out that Tom Davis– a moderate and a good guy, according to Tweety– was a an out-of-touch Malhtusian tool for referring to Obama’s “underclass” voters, then the next day devoted a whole segment, with other people, to Davis referring to Obama supporters as “the underclass”, even pointing out Davis’s “they dragged them out of their apartments” tic
Darrell Hammond’s Tweety was always far sharper and more coherent than the real thing. Small wonder Tweety was so flattered by it.
Corner Stone
@muddy:
He reminds me of Jon Gruden doing NFL games. Without fail there is someone playing who is the “best” at some specific thing.
Cassidy
@SatanicPanic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lambic
SiubhanDuinne
O/T but Dave Brubeck has died age 91. RIP. Loved every one of his albums back in the day.
Corner Stone
@Chyron HR: Yeah and his plan has been accepted as default by all of established DC. So, nothing to see here! Pay no attention to the buffoon who is so out of touch with America he thinks we’re all sucking at cow teats!
raven
@SiubhanDuinne: Take 5
SatanicPanic
@Cassidy: Ooh that sounds interesting, anyone in the USA making that?
raven
Blue Rondo A La Turk
James Hare
Were I to bother my facebook friends with that nonsense, I’d quickly have none. They already put up with enough of that shit during the election. Dude reminds me of Grampa Simpson — out of it beyond belief but convinced everyone else cares what he thinks.
I’m not trying to cut my parents off of social security and medicare. That’s what will be keeping them independent so I don’t have to live with them!
muddy
@Villago Delenda Est: He was a speechwriter for Jimmy Carter, staffed at I dunno what position for Tip O’Neill, and how grand it was with Tip and the Gipper etc.
I think he’s just like that, blatting out oddities with little self-awareness, I imagine being his mother, oh noes! Take a breath, son. Think about what words are coming out.
KG
@Roger Moore: pretty sure I’ve had Pliny the Elder. I have a rule about trying beers I’ve not had before if I see them on the menu. It wasn’t bad, but not my
cup of teapint of beer.Glad to know that I’m not the only that isn’t a fan of the IPAs.
raven
Can’t find his version but
Desafinado
Amir Khalid
Pardon the off-topic, but Dave Brubeck has passed away — one day short of his 92nd birthday, from heart failure.
ETA: Drat. Beaten to it by SiubhanDunne.
raven
@muddy: I love the way his little peace corps ass gets to decide who was really “in it” in Vietnam.
Cassidy
@SatanicPanic: I’ve had it at restaurants and it was the fruit style. I don’t know how traditional it was, or made with syrups, etc., but I enjoyed the flavor. Most liquor stores I’ve been in will have a large bottle of “Lambic” and it looks like the big bottles of cranky old man stout (or whatever the hell it’s called). A few wine shops have had it as well. I’d start with the wine or higher end liquor stores to try and get something decent. Usually, any place that sales the really expensive monk beer that I’ve never had should have it, lol.
Brachiator
@SiubhanDuinne:
Very sad.
Cool dude.
muddy
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Id is the word for it, that’s what popped out of my mouth. “Id, id idiot!” Then I thought briefly about that etymology which had not occurred to me before.
He was less flattered by the recent one, where they depicted him after the first debate, freaking out and screaming. He showed it and you could see he was trying to be a good sport, but you tell that really his feelings were hurt. He kept asking everyone on the show if he was like that. Not that he went on worrying about how he came off the next day, or anything. Bygones.
Raven
@Brachiator: Pretty full like there. I hope I make it 30 more years. . .I think.
Cassidy
@Cassidy: This the one I’m talking about.
muddy
@Corner Stone: It does not dismay him in the least to name everyone on successive days the best at something, even when they are contradictory entirely.
Gin & Tonic
@raven: Which, while identified with the Dave Brubeck group, was actually Paul Desmond’s tune. He died far too young, IMO.
Grat, possibly apocryphal, anecdote I heard about Desmond in the hospital (don’t know if when he was dying) who got a visit from Mingus, who came in dressed in a big black cape or overcoat, and Desmond said “I’m not ready to go yet” or something similar.
But R.I.P. to Brubeck, who was class all the way.
muddy
@raven: Yeah. I will say though, that it was at least better to be in the Peace Corps than sitting on a beach in France.
Bruce S
Actually, seems like the old coots’ strategy for “helping the children” is to cut their proposed “entitlement” benefits without touching anything that the old coots presently can lay their hands on. In fact, the “entitlements” hype is nothing that couldn’t be solved by a little European-style universal health care and everybody paying the same amount of FICA taxes on all of their income – like most of us already do.
What a dishonest sack of crap this nasty man is. And Erskine Bowles is worse – because he wears that DEM tag that he’s done nothing but soil. Simpson is exactly what I’d expect from an old GOP hack.
Bob
Don’t sell the Mayans short – they just misinterpreted the fiscal cliff as the end of the world – not too different from modern day pundits. They thought they were channeling their deity Chac but it was coming from the demon Chuck (Todd) instead.
mainmati
@KG: No, you were right the first time; it was the meteor that made all the dinosaurs go away. But it wasn’t the last significant meteor strike. There was a recent (early 1900s one that blasted a large forested area of Siberia and then there’s the meteor crater in AZ. Probably many others too that came after the big Gulf crater.
celticdragonchick
Bolide impacts can include solid rock asteroids, aggregate masses that literally explode in the atmosphere and melt large areas of landmass (if over land) and even comets (also prone to explosion in the atmosphere).
In any event, I’m not sure I want to encourage them to come for a visit. Mass extinction events really kinda suck.
And I would miss Sam Adams Boston lager.
Gin & Tonic
@Gin & Tonic: Found the reference, in a Nat Hentoff interview, possibly for the Ken Burns movie.
Desmond was in his apartment, not the hospital, and was in fact dying. When Mingus walked in dressed like that Desmond said “Well, set up the chessboard” (Seventh Seal reference.)
Bruce S
@muddy:
Cracker Barrel is a “country-style” franchise restaurant you’ll see along lots of mid-western freeways. Tweety was playing “Applebee’s Salad Bar” demographics.
Hill Dweller
OT: Does anyone here have experience with Filson briefcases/computer bags? If so, would you recommend them?
I’m looking for a new briefcase/computer bag that will last, but having trouble picking among a few choices.
Brachiator
From the LA Times and SF Chronicle on Dave Brubeck:
Take five, Mr Brubeck
Roger Moore
@mainmati:
Depends on what you mean by “significant”. There hasn’t been anything that remotely rivals the Chicxulub event in the 65 million years since; there certainly don’t seem to have been any impacts that had anything close to the same global scale of destruction. The Tunguska event has basically zero global effect, and I don’t think the Arizona Meteor Crater impact had any, either. That’s not to say you’d like to be close to either one when it happened, but if you were in the next state you could happily ignore either one.
Interrobang
“Meteor Chow” made me laugh out loud at work, on a day when I’m not feeling particularly risible. Thanks.
muddy
Those old-style Cracker Barrels probably don’t mess around with phantom salad bars.
PurpleGirl
@raven: Are you having problems with the flesh-eating bugs?
SatanicPanic
@Cassidy: I’ll track some down. Good time of year for that too
ericblair
@raven:
So, uh, you’re done with your target, then? Anybody we knew?
celticdragonchick
@KG:
No. The Chicxulub crater is actully partially under the Yucatan Peninsula and was found by accident by geologists drilling for oil in the 1970s. Confirmation of the impact structure came much later with evidence of shocked quartz caused by a massive impact as well as tektite horizons and an iridium anomaly at the Cretaceous/Tertiary sediment boundary all the way into western North America caused by melted ejecta falling back to earth (The iridium anomaly is worldwide).
The Chicxulub site is one of the largest bolide impactor stuctures found to date, although another large possible site off the coast of Australia is under investigation Called the Bedout Crater, this site is believed to be associated with the massive end-Permian mass extinction when nearly all life on Earth died.
To see what shocked quartz looks like under a polarized light microscope, see here:
raven
@muddy: I have nothing but respect for peace corps peeps.
raven
@ericblair: A 38″ redfish. I have the head and I’m either going to simmer it or bury it in the yard.
Brachiator
@celticdragonchick:
Somebody has got to use this as the name of a hipster night spot.
Matthew Reid Krell
@Linda Featheringill:
There’s a condition precedent in this statement that I can’t complete right now. Maybe soon….
Cassidy
@SatanicPanic: Yup. The fruit beers really are unique. I’ve always just liked a good drink, so I don’t turn my nose at most beers, tbh. Between that and wheat beer, though, I’m set.
Mnemosyne
@Bruce S:
When conservatives tell me there’s a big, scary problem with Social Security, I say, “Yes, it’s true, the salary cap is ridiculously low. We need to raise it to at least $500K or eliminate it altogether.”
Funny, they tend to shut up right after that.
Also, since I have an ongoing argument about SS, I should say that Jared Bernstein probably has the best explanation of why any switch to chained CPI must include changing both SS benefits AND tax brackets, but, funnily enough, people like Simpson want to use chained CPI only for SS benefits and change the tax brackets so no one’s taxes go up because of the switch to chained CPI. That’s really what the bait-and-switch is that’s hidden in the B-S proposals.
celticdragonchick
@Brachiator:
You would get a lot of post grad students crying in their beer over how fucking evil his/her advisor is, and then trying to one-up each other on fucking awesome his/her thesis will be. Science is weird that way.
You would really need to get another type of hipster…
trollhattan
@Brachiator:
Had not heard this. Very sad news, but he had a long and fruitful life. Stockton’s finest native son, he described getting some of his complex rhythms and time signatures from long hours spent on farm machinery, listening to the engine and various resonances the works emanated.
Adios, Dave.
Trinity
Dogfish Head IPA 120s are nectar of the Gods.
This video is deeply disturbing.
Dogfish Head IPA 90s are also exceedingly delicious.
That is all.
trollhattan
Ha-ha-ha–Ubernerd and possible murderer John McAfee found by better nerd.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/hacker-locates-john-mcafee-through-smartphone-tracks/2012/12/04/55a498d8-3e4a-11e2-bca3-aadc9b7e29c5_story.html?hpid=z6
liberal
@trollhattan:
Doesn’t sound like McAfee is all that “uber”.
Felonius Monk
When Alan Simpson was the Republican senator from Wyoming (the state that gave us
DarthDick Cheney) he was frequently shown on the teevee thing. No matter what came out of his mouth, it always appeared that the lights were on but nobody was home. And now, when he’s a senile old fool, we are supposed to take anything he says or does seriously? Put him in the county home where he belongs.[And don’t accuse me of age discrimination, he’s only a couple of years older than me.]
Bobby Thomson
@Randy P:
And, if so, does it involve Linda Fiorentino?
trollhattan
@liberal:
Seems as though he’s acquired a Black Knight persona.
“‘Tis only a fleshwound.”
“I’ve cut your arm off!”
“No you haven’t. I’m invincible!”
“You’re a looney.”
Schlemizel
The Onion has an info graphic of helpful ideas for the GOP
http://www.theonion.com/articles/remaking-the-republican-party,30551/
Schlemizel
@Roger Moore:
I didn’t think Tunguska was a meteor. Thought there was some guess that it was a tiny bit of anti-matter or a comet as it didn’t leave a crater.
Misterpuff
“Old Coot” = Alan Simpson
This is a very meta ad!
Another Halocene Human
@KG: What IPA have you been drinking?
New England IPA’s are clear, very clean, and very slightly sweet (not sweet like Bavarian beer, though, but contrawise not a bitter finish like a Pilsner). Oregon IPA’s, OTOH, are a hops-splosion in your mouth. It was a fight to the finish, bra. I like bitter, but not that much bitter.
Another Halocene Human
@Schlemizel: I didn’t think Tunguska was a meteor. Thought there was some guess that it was a tiny bit of anti-matter or a comet as it didn’t leave a crater.
Wait–what?
Another Halocene Human
@Randy P: Does John run some kind of breeding farm and pull one out of the cage when awarding you FP status? Is there some sort of secret ceremony? Do you have to go on a Troll Vision Quest to find your own?
Do they still sing songs about the great fper hunt? “We searched high, we searched low, everywhere, a fper could go… then the Google, yielded her loot: front page of BJ, what a hoot…”
Roger Moore
@Another Halocene Human:
They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap.
No, that’s the Snark Hunt. Or is there any difference?