Ben Quayle, who was last heard trying to spin his participation in a drunken, naked dip in the Sea of Galilee as an effort to get baptismal water for his daughter, lost his primary to Dave Schweikert last night. After redistricting, Quayle chose to run in a primary for the safe seat AZ-6 instead of going for the even-money open seat, AZ-9, and he got spanked. Adios, pendejo.
Reader Interactions
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dsc
let me be the first to add:
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
couldn’t happen to a nicer or more deserving family of morons.
Raven
AMF
WWStBreitbartD
Spin coming soon from Media Matters (to be parroted here), Ben Quayle’s lost to pro gun control David Schweikert proves NRA’s power is a myth.
Chyron HR
@WWStBreitbartD:
After the 3rd consecutive Tea Party shooting spree, we were all pretty well convinced of the NRA’s power, thanks.
Ann Rynd
The canary in the coal mine for rich kids with grandiose political aspirations.
Ash Can
lulz
WWStBreitbartD
@Chyron HR:
You mean the Lefties who caused Tucson and Aurora and the “Teabagger” who shot up the Family Research Counsel (SPLC targeted hate group)?
Or the Empire State shooting.
CRAZED SHOOTER: One dead.
TRUSTWORTHY HIGHLY TRAINED POLICE OFFICERS: One dead, nine wounded.
Elizabelle
I was happy to see that, and knew that Suzanne was high fiving.
Good riddance.
Go get a job, Ben Quayle.
JenJen
Oh, what a beautiful morning! The schaden just freuds itself.
Waldo
Shouldn’t that be spelled pendejoe?
Lee
OT:
This is probably the best thing you will read all day.
From the article:
Judge Crater
Off topic, but has anyone noticed that full-figure photos and video of Chris Christie are sort of off limits in the media. It’s almost like FDR in his wheel chair. Showing the massive, butt-busting size of Christie is like revealing someone’s missing limb or severe handicap.
I don’t think it’s political, it’s just the natural human reaction to avert one’s gaze from human frailty.
Chyron HR
@WWStBreitbartD:
You forgot all the “lefties” throwing peanuts at black people at the RNC (that hotbed of leftist activity).
4tehlulz
someone’s nervous this morning. I wonder why.
Lavocat
“Son, Republican, drunk, and Quayle is no way to go through life.”
Lavocat
@Judge Crater: What I love are photos showing match-ups between Christie and normal-girth people like, um, … fucking EVERYBODY!
Check out the dude’s waistline and how his pants very closely resemble a tent that needs mending.
kd bart
I guess Ben wasn’t “Self Made” enough.
Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (formerly IrishGirl)
Quayle was definitely a douchenozzle but Scweikert is a stone cold asshole. I live in his district. Lucky me!
amk
sweet, sweet schadenfreude.
rlrr
an effort to get baptismal water for his daughter
He could have gotten it from just about any faucet in Israel. The sea of Galilee is the source of drinking water for most of the country.
Cacti
I somehow doubt this is the last we’ve seen of young Tater tot here in AZ. He’ll lick his wounds and be back running for something else in a year or two.
JPL
@Lee: Thanks for the link. I almost did not click on because it was to the American Conservative.
rikyrah
GOOD RIDDANCE
jibeaux
It’s just completely depressing that someone could leverage the name “Quayle” into anything anyway, even a failed primary bid. People should just be like, “oh fuck no.”
rlrr
@jibeaux:
You’d think the same should be true with the name “Bush”…
Culture of Truth
You go with the Quayles you have not the Quayles you want
JPL
@Lee: Sarah’s real Americans I presume. Growing up Catholic, it still is difficult for me to understand why evangelicals blamed the poor for their own circumstances. I’m in my sixties.
BudP
Will Washington D.C. recover from 2 solid years of having the hell knocked out of it?
General Stuck
Speaking of morons
Wolverines!!
Lee
@JPL:
I know. I was the same way and would not have clicked on it except for part of the quoted text got my attention.
Another great line is:
Chyron HR
@General Stuck:
Since they were booing a Republican speaker, they must have been Democrats. It’s the only explanation!
Brian R.
@BudP:
My question exactly.
Talk angry some more, Ben! All the guys at the squash club say you’re one tough hombre!
Maude
@Culture of Truth:
#26, good thing he’s not around Cheney.
Joseph Nobles
REAL heroes don’t need capes.
Atlas Shrugged II
10/12/12
Says the motherfucking web ad informing me that this tripe is one of my choices for my birthday movie.
Real heroes don’t need capes. They need the peons to let the fuck up and accept how it is!
desertflower
@Ms. D. Ranged in AZ (formerly IrishGirl):
I live in this district, too…but I was doing the happy dance last night! They’re both rwnj’s, but the difference is that Quayle is an arrogant, entitled, full blown asshole…and Schweikert is an “under the radar” asshole, that at least thought that unemployment benefits needed to be extended. Not Ben! He got HIS money, so FU!I detest them all….and we have a long way to go getting rid of so many morons that plague AZ politics now…but I will relish last night’s loss of this ALEC owned, Norquist pledging,asshole.
shortstop
I’m Nelson Muntzing all over this.
Villago Delenda Est
@General Stuck:
Apparently the Paultards were incensed about something (aren’t they always?) and took it out on this woman who had the audacity to speak with an accent.
Stay classy, fascist scum.
Cassidy
@Villago Delenda Est: It bugs the shit out of me when Paul and his illiterate followers are referred to as Libertarians. They have absolutely no problem stamping on civil rights as long as it is the state gov’t doing it and Federal.
GregB
I LOVE WOMEN!
Water balloon
Good. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to the site he used to contribute to, the dirty, but it’s one of the most hatefully misogynistic sites on the web. Also very vulgar for a supposed Christian. Disgusting.
JPL
@Lee: They must not teach moral fiber in religion classes or prep schools anymore. This is one of the sections I highlighted.
I feel so ignorant though because I can’t remember reading about the Acres of Diamonds speech.
Villago Delenda Est
@Lee:
They’re not conservatives. That’s what they call themselves, but they’re actually nihilists.
danah gaz (fka gaz)
@WWStBreitbartD: I was thinking of those lefties that were on trial for murdering two people, and who were involved in a plot to assassinate our Republican president.
Or that lefty who shot a bunch of brown people in a temple because he thought they were muslims.
You’re a fucking idiot.
SteveM
I guess this means he can go back to his true calling.
Linda Featheringill
@JPL:
I was raised among impoverished fundies who operated under the philosophy that you weren’t always responsible for your circumstances but you were responsible for your reaction to those situations. They would have been totally confused by a religion that seems to be based on not giving anything to folks who aren’t able to give back.
I understand your point of view.
JPL
@Lee: You should send it to John. The odds are slim that he will see it but if he does, he’d enjoy it. The party left him several years back.
Violet
Quayle Fail.
Mark S.
@Joseph Nobles:
Real heroes bitch and moan about how hard it is being a billionaire.
quannlace
What’s Dan Quayle, pater familias, up to these days?
Ugh, I feel old
shortstop
@Villago Delenda Est: You forgot to add “Donny” at the end of that.
suzanne
It’s a bit strange that I’m happy about this, because Schweikert is my congressman, and he SUCKS ABOMINABLY. (And my candidate of choice in the AZ-9 primary just lost, boo.)
But Ben Quayle is such a fuckin’ douche of epic proportions that I can’t help but be THRILLED.
Commenting at Balloon Juice Since 1937
@jibeaux: When I hear ‘Quayle’, I think ‘under glass?’.
Mike Lamb
@WWStBreitbartD: No dipshit, the politics of the shooter don’t matter. The lax gun rules enable the activity. And that’s thanks to the NRA.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Lavocat:
I heard Coleman makes his suits from their tents. Looks like he’s wearing the latest six-person model.
pseudonymous in nc
I take it that “WWStBreitbartD” is perpetual failure, Breitbart lackey and alleged sister-fucker Morgan Warstler.
aimai
@Judge Crater:
I agree. I don’t see much regular Media anymore but I was flabbergasted by the size of Christie in the picture TPM put up of him and his wife standing behind the podium. He almost looked like he was a CGI special fatboy effect.
aimai
Scott de B.
His problem was Dick Cheney shot all of Quayle’s supporters in the face.
GregB
@aimai:
Christie is actually Martin Lawrence in a white fat suit.
Mark S.
Someone mentioned this in another thread, but Ann Romney’s bright red dress on a bright red background looks horrible. Aren’t there any gay Republicans to prevent these kinds of mishaps? Or are they all too far in the closet?
Suffern ACE
@suzanne: Simple. You live in an R-Friendly district. Had Quayle won, he would have been practically guaranteed tenure. After three terms, congressmen get a pension. The thought of having to pay a pension to not one, but two Quayles while his father sits at his private equity firm gutting the pensions of everyone else would have been unbearable.
Amir Khalid
@Mark S.:
Maybe Ann Romney fired her stylist for doing his job too well.
Yutsano
@Joseph Nobles: Edna Mode weeps.
JPL
@Lavocat: It goes without saying that Christie should not be the one preaching to us about tightening our belts.
Valdivia
That picture of Christie doing a fist raise makes him look incredibly big. Why would the RNC use it to promo him?
EconWatcher
It was occurring to me that for folks in Europe, Christie would make absolutely the perfect US President. He’s the prototypical ugly American: Fat, boorish, ignorant, and arrogant.
In that sense, W really fell short. He certainly had the ignorance, arrogance, and boorishness down pat (Angela Merkel is probably still in shock from his frat-boy molestation). But he just didn’t look the part. Too athletic and svelte.
Yeah, Christie’s the ticket. Let’s go all the way, and confirm what everyone thinks of us anyway.
bemused
@Lee:
Great piece. I was surprised to read something this frank and outspoken in the American Conservative until I realized it was written by Mike Lofgren. It made me think of this quote by John Kenneth Galbraith,
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy: that is the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness”.
Tehanu
@JenJen:
You speak for me, only more clever – thanks!
Felinious Wench
@bemused:
It is a great piece. These are the conservaties I miss in this country. I don’t always agree with them (rarely, in fact), but I’d be able to sit down and have a Scotch with them and discuss it rationally.
Smiling Mortician
@bemused:
What surprised me wasn’t so much the article itself — well, yeah, OK, it did surprise me — but I surfed through a pretty good number of comments, and they weren’t awful. I haven’t really read the American Conservative before: is it normal for reasonable people to comment there?
Roger Moore
@JPL:
I would say that it goes perfectly with the Republicans’ IGMFY philosophy that Christie would be the one telling us that. Nothing says “do as I say, not as I do” like a wealthy pig telling poor people they need to practice austerity.
bemused
@Felinious Wench:
They are as rare as a three foot snowfall in Death Valley. I can’t help but wonder if Lofgren has any compatico conservatives he hangs with. If so, I would like to hear from them too.
bemused
@Smiling Mortician:
I have no idea. I didn’t think any normal or reasonable conservative publications even existed.
Elizabelle
@Suffern ACE:
That needs to change. They should not get a pension at all. If they want to contribute to some equivalent to the plebes’ 401(k), that’s fine.
But a pension for 6 years of service by someone who is likely a well-connected and wealthy person before even running for office? Who takes his/her pension and gets big bucks for lobbying for special interests against the public interest.
Kick ’em off the teat.
Sorry for Henry Waxman and honest public servants, but this has to stop.
Roger Moore
@Smiling Mortician:
I read a fair amount of Larison’s stuff there- he’s even on the blogroll here at B-J- and it seems to attract mostly thoughtful comments, including ones from Liberals who like to argue his points. Larison is often in touch with the same reality as the rest of us, which probably helps in maintaining a sane tone. He devotes a lot of his columns to puncturing the more ridiculous Conservative claims- it’s not always good news for John McCain on his blog- which I assume is why he’s a favorite among Liberals. That’s not to say he’s sane- he’s a member of the League of the South, for goodness sake- but most of the time he steers clear of his personal craziness.
hitchhiker
True story: I have a family member who once did a stint at the Hudson Institute when it was in Indiana. He was a researcher/writer — usually had projects related to his PhD on Eastern European countries.
One day he got asked to write what was clearly a high school history paper.
Turned out it was for Ben, whose dad was using the Help to make sure his kid got through school.
jonas
That has to be one of the most wonderful things I’ve read in the internets in a long time. Can’t make this shit up, as they say.
jharp
Makes my day.
Could not happen to a more deserving born on 3rd base and thinks he hit a triple asshole.
Svensker
@Villago Delenda Est:
Not what happened at all. The Repub leaders had just pulled some stunt denying the Paulistas their delegate seats and the Paulistas started booing and hollering. The RNC faithful then started up a chant of USA USA to drown out the Paulistas. No one was interested in the slightest in the Puerto Rican lady, except Rance Preibus (or whatever his name is) who was anxious to get her started talking so that the RNC establishment could move on past the ruckus.
karen marie
@Mark S.: Also, too, her dress looked like the tailor had finished making it seconds before she went on stage and didn’t have a chance to iron the seams.
Villago Delenda Est
@Svensker:
Doesn’t matter. All of them are scum that should be dispatched at the earliest opportunity.
Roy G.
@quannlace: The one-time boy wonder is the Chairman of Global Investments at Cerberus Holdings, a
job creatorprivate equity firm cum Bain style corporate bustout goperation.West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
Oh, dear, a priviledged, pampered pig isn’t able to glide smoothly into Daddy’s career path… Don’t worry, some think tank or big-money group will give him a fat salary as a consultant or task-less minion.