The boys over at the Corner have made themselves nice, dimmed the lights, gotten out the lotion and the scented candle, and have settled in for a quiet night giving Vice-President Paul Ryan the tongue bath of his life.
To be sure, each of Romney’s finalists or near-finalists has merit. But Ryan would benefit Romney’s candidacy in unique ways. Here are just a few:
* Picking Ryan would excite and unite the party.
* By putting Ryan on the ticket, Romney would add the party’s single best spokesman on three huge issues: Obamacare, the budget, and the debt. Imagine Ryan debating Joe Biden — or Hillary Clinton.
* By adding such a heavyweight to the ticket, Romney would convey to the electorate how high the stakes are in this historic election.
* The pick would also show strength. By making it, Romney would (rightly) indicate that he’s not afraid of being overshadowed by anyone.The 23-year age difference between Romney and Ryan makes them seem more like natural complements than like rivals, and by all accounts the chemistry between them is excellent. Moreover, younger voters are increasingly disillusioned with Obama, and putting the 42-year-old Ryan on the ticket would encourage many of them to give Romney a second look.
Because the only thing that would excite the young peoples more than one smug lying merchant wanker with helmet hair is two of the fuckers sitting there, looking like an outtake from the Chuckles and Bozo Variety Hour.*
For Romney’s purposes, Ryan’s home state is perhaps even more strategic than Portman’s. Polls bob up and down, but in the end, Ohio leans Republican, and Romney should be able to win it, whereas Wisconsin is on Obama’s side of the ledger and, aside perhaps from Nevada, is the most vulnerable of the Democratic-leaning states. It’s quite plausible that Ryan could make the difference in Wisconsin — and hence in the election. If Romney wins Wisconsin, then Obama would almost certainly have to win Florida or Ohio or else sweep Virginia and Colorado.
Frankly, we all know it’s bullshit to think that (barring the Mittpocalypse) Romney could win a state in which EBR** shows Obama consistently outpolling him by 6 to 8%, but those are the sort of things you say when you’re trying to get a Congressman onto the couch and out of his pants.
Later in his post, Jeffrey H. Anderson quotes Paul A. Rahe (a sour-faced, pinched old thing who thinks that the Catholic church lost its moral authority when bishops, priests and nuns didn’t scream bloody murder and declare war in 1973 to overturn Roe v Wade). Paul A. may be a good Christian, but he has a serious hard on for the hunky Congressman from America’s Dairyland.
I could reel off the names of various Congressmen – stretching from Carl Albert to Nancy Pelosi – who have played a prominent role in my lifetime. None of them could be called a statesman. They were competent, clever partisan politicians. Ryan is something different. He has attained a stature that no Congressman in my lifetime has achieved. When I cast my mind back in the past in search of comparable figures, I can come up with only two – James Madison in the First Federal Congress, and Henry Clay, when he was Speaker of the House. There were no doubt others, but the list is not long, and I doubt whether there would be anyone on it who served in the last hundred years.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is exemplary tonguework. If you are ever going to get in there and give a politician a damn good arse licking, then this should be your template.
Not examplary, but still giving it a gold old go at getting into all the crevices and ticking the outside just like he likes it, is Michael Walsh, who is clearly stuck in the middle of a little sticky pond of man-crush.
Re: Jeffrey Anderson’s piece on the home page, I second the motion. I had a chance to see Ryan in person at a recent event and came away even more impressed with him than I had been, and that is saying a lot. He’s taller than you think he’s going to be (which is a good thing in a candidate), and even more quick-witted and, yes, funny. Compared to the colorless police-lineup guys whose names are being mentioned (Portman, Pawlenty), Ryan stands out.
He’s so tall, and soooooo funny, and have you seen his eyes? So dishy, so blue, like limpid pools.
Further, having been one of the lone voices of fiscal sanity in Congress, he brings proven leadership to the ticket, and he’s shown real political guts while out on the point. Romney’s been making the economy the focus of his campaign so far, but Ryan on the ticket would free him to take on the larger issues, i.e., precisely why the economy is so bad. And that takes him right to the philosophical heart of Obamaism and all its attendant ills, which is where the larger battle needs to be fought and won.
The argument’s been made Ryan’s needed in the House in his role of budget master, but that’s like a baseball executive’s saying he needs to keep that young phenom who’s destroying triple-A pitching down on the farm because the Mud Hens have a chance to win it all this year.
What is it about wingnuts and baseball metaphors? I suspect it’s because they are afraid that the captain of the school football team won’t speak to them if he thinks they aren’t manly men who know about sport, and then they might miss out on six years of futile yearning and a single drunken and guilt-ridden fumble behind the bleachers after the prom. Who knows? Maybe I’m projecting.
Jeffrey’s piece catalogs all the strengths Ryan would bring to the ticket, including bringing his home state of Wisconsin with him as an Electoral College dowry. But let me add a couple more.
The first is that he speaks in the cadences of a younger America; he’s like a Quentin Tarantino character come to life, minus the profanity. Obama’s manufactured persona extends down to his mannered way of speaking, with the dropped “g’s” and the use of the word “folks,” but Ryan’s hip, rapid-fire staccato is the real thing.
Paul Ryan speaks and looks like this:
He does not remind me so much of some butch, gun toting Tarantino hero, as the love child of this man:
and this man:
Sexy. Mmmmmmmmm.
Second — the deal clincher — is that Ryan is not afraid of Obama. Born in 1970, Ryan’s not dragging around any sixties baggage or angst or animus; he came of age during the Reagan administration and radiates some of the Gipper’s Sunny Jim optimism. Plus, he’s already shown he can take a punch from the president, who clearly fears him:
[For our collective sanity, I’m omitting the Morning Joe video that Walsh links to here. All you need to know is, like, that Obama gave Congressman Ryan evils and so Joe thinks Obama is a dick because being rude is so not cool and shit.]Who wouldn’t watch to see a rematch? Especially one in which Ryan gets to fight, too.
Fight out behind the gym. 5pm tomorrow. Winner gets a blowjob from Michael Walsh.
* Tonight – hijinks ensure when Willard and Pauly get caught snaffling apples from Mean Ol’ Barney Frank’s orchard, while Buster the Horse leaves a funny surprise for Mrs Ann in the back garden.
** Everyone but Rasmussen
ETA:
[Crossposted over here.]Violet Says:
My goodness. They’re seeing starbursts. Is Ryan the male Palin? The Malin?
Spaghetti Lee
OK. Wow. Is it getting a bit toasty in here or is just me? Whoo-ee!
I can’t really tell what values of “younger voters” these guys are aiming for. Paul Ryan’s old enough to be my father, and perhaps more relevant, he’s just 9 years older than that frumpy old fart Obama. Neither one remembers the 60’s in any significant way, but Walsh thinks black people were invented in the 60’s to give white people a hard time, and is glad to have Paul Ryan’s boyish charms around to let him pretend it never happened. Well, every marriage is different, I suppose.
jl
Mitt has ’60s baggage’?
What specific ’60s’ baggage does Romeny have?
piratedan
yes, by all means select Rep. Ryan and then we can have a nice in depth discussion about his budget that is a love letter to Grover and all things R. It has all of the nutritional value as a bag of Ruffles. Lets talk ALL about it.
jrg
Please, please put Ryan on the ticket. I can’t think of a better way to bring clarity to the fiscal debate than to discuss an end to Medicare.
That will sober up the geriatric teabaggers faster than you can say “mobility scooter”.
Mr Stagger Lee
Yeah Paul (I’m going to fuck your kids of your student loans while I will fuck your parents of medicare while fucking your younger brother, the wounded Afghanistan veteran of his veteran benefits) Ryan will make the middle class crowd tingle.
MikeJ
A little song
A little dance
A little seltzer
Down your pants
Yutsano
That was a tongue bath, a reacharound, and practically a grab for the ankles with the poppers on the nightstand. Oi doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Oh and Ryan is in trouble in his own district. He only hitches his wagon to Willard if he’s convinced they’ll win.
@jl: Mansion in Paris to avoid the draft, for starters.
Cacti
Elections are not won by a Vice Presidential candidate.
Just ask Presidents Dukakis and Dole.
jl
OK, fine. I believe NRO. They are smarter than me. So, no ’60s baggage’, whatever that means.
But Ryan has 2013 and all years further out baggage for anyone not rich. As in, where did my social security and medicare go baggage, and why are my taxes higher and the richy rich taxes lower baggage?
That is not only baggage, but by now well worn travel luaggage with hellscape destination stickers on it.
Spaghetti Lee
Ooh, can I try?
I could reel off the names of various fast food menu items – stretching from the Double Whopper to the Hardee’s Thickburger – who have played a prominent role in my lifetime. None of them could be called a delicacy. They were tasty, fattening foodstuffs. The KFC Double Down is something different. It has attained a stature that no menu choice in my lifetime has achieved. When I cast my mind back in the past in search of comparable treats, I can come up with only two – the Big Mac with cheese and a side of fries, and the P’Zone with sausage and pepperoni filling. There were no doubt others, but the list is not long, and I doubt whether there would be anything on it that I’ve eaten in the last three days.
Mmmmm…tongue-bathing….
Violet
My goodness. They’re seeing starbursts. Is Ryan the male Palin? The Malin?
Yutsano
@Violet:
I call this a win!
David Koch
@jl:
He’s a draft dodger.
jl
@Yutsano: Agree. If its Ryan, we have our nickname ready.
shortstop
I had to track down Mr. Anderson’s age to see if his insistence that the youngsters will luv Ryan is similar to white Republicans thinking that black people will really go for Alan Keyes and Michael Steele, or Republican men insisting that Sarah Palin could compete for women’s votes. Much to my surprise, Jeff isn’t superannuated, just foolishly projecting his own hots for Ryan onto other people under retirement age.
Elizabelle
The picture. Hee haw.
They look like “Car Talk” guys.
Who talk about cars other people drive for them.
jl
@David Koch:
There are so many draft dodgers among his class of GOPer, I don’t see how that makes him stand out.
Now, his stories about that time are none too trustworthy, but that makes the 60s for Mitt no different from the 70s, 80s, 90s and the aughts.
piratedan
@jl: guess we need an addition to the BJ Lexicon… Rep Malin indeed…..
Narcissus
“Hey Mitt, let’s do our sling-blade faces!”
shortstop
@Yutsano: x2!
JWL
It’ll be Ryan, or a Virginian.
Of course, I lost a $50 bet I wagered that sad, sad first Tuesday in November, 1980. I bet my New Dealer mom that there was no way that the American people would be stupid enough to elect Reagan twice.
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@Violet:
You win.
Quincy
The Quentin Tarantino line was too much. Which character did he have in mind? I’m thinking Mr. Pink, the one who was morally opposed to tipping. But I’m open to other suggestions.
The Dangerman
I rate it a “golf ball through 15 feet of surgical tubing”.
Spaghetti Lee
Are they jackin’ off in that picture? Can’t see their hands, and their faces look pretty enraptured (by Republican standards, anyway.)
Spaghetti Lee
@Quincy:
ATLAS SHRUGGED MOTHERFUCKER, HAVE YOU READ IT?!
Violet
@Sarah, Proud and Tall: Heh. Thanks. Just happy to contribute to the cause.
That picture you posted even reminds me of the McCain/Palin photos, where he looked old and cranky and she looked young and dumb. This is just the 2012 model.
hrprogressive
Sooo the bullshit merchants want a Grade-A Shitmeister to join Shitringleader Romney on his “Lying to America” tour?
Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
They’re not going to get Ryan. But if they did, it’d be great for Democrats to unite against the “This guy wants to take away your Medicare. No, really, he does”.
Even old people are calling Ryan out on that nonsense, so what happens if the entire electorate gets to hear it?
They can get all the right-wing chubbies they want about Paul Ryan, but the only people he makes happy are people who weren’t ever going to vote against him or other Republicans in the first place.
Marcellus Shale, Public Dick
wait, all that and they forgot to mention the single greatest, most relatable to non-boomers thing about paul ryan?
RATM
Quincy
@Spaghetti Lee:
I can’t decide which campaign ad I like better, Ryan torturing the American middle class while dancing to “Stuck in the Middle with You” or Ryan dressed up as the Koch brothers’ gimp. If I had my own Super PAC, I’d probably run both.
Burnspbesq
Well, if your entire sample consists of mclaren and AA+ Bonds, I suppose you could get that impression.
David Koch
BWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA
Ryan is such a glass-jaw, light-weight coward he no longer holds town hall meetings because he couldn’t handle little old ladies pressing him on his voucher shit.
Citizen_X
Paul Ryan? Oh, no, not him! I’m terrified of this idea, simply terrified!
jl
@Burnspbesq: And they are solid Mitt votes, ammirite?
jl
@David Koch: And will destroy Biden in the debate, right?
Edit: for example, Ryan won’t wilt under repeated “God love ‘im’s”.
MikeJ
Yow! There’s a Marie Provost movie on now.
Burnspbesq
@jl:
Doubt it. They’ll both find some ridiculous minor-party candidate to vote for, or stay home and congratulate themselves on their awesome moral purity.
Yutsano
@Burnspbesq: Jill Stein FTW! I swear she’s becoming the new Ralph Nader.
scav
Apparently dealing with the Insurgency of the Teabots and the Sudden flood of Unsolicited Campaign Suggestions from Murdoch and the Hampton Elites isn’t enough of a circus, they’re going to add the legions of Pledged-to-the-Death Ryanites to their well-coordinated and peak efficiency machine. It’s like watching an auto-immune disease.
Citizen_X
“excite and unite”
“the chemistry between them”
“Polls bob up and down” [I’ll bet they do.]
“HE’S TALLER THAN YOU THINK HE’S GOING TO BE” [This is a compliment?]
“bringing his home state of Wisconsin with him as an Electoral College dowry”
So, the Repubs are going all in on the gay Randian vote, or what? The whole 0.00005% of the population?
pseudonymous in nc
Eddie fucking Munster is going to starve your granny.
@Elizabelle:
Slick and Slack.
Burnspbesq
@Yutsano:
I’m thinking Roger Calero is more their speed. It would be totally in character for them to vote for a Presidential candidate who is ineligible to be President.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Róger_Calero
Jeff Spender
This is incorrect. It would be more accurate to say we’re disillusioned with the political process, and we’re more likely to not have any politician or party loyalties.
It’s also accurate to say that even if we were getting a bit cold on Obama, it doesn’t mean we’re going to turn around and go, “Hey, you know what, that Paul Ryan douchebag might be worth supporting.”
I don’t know why they keep paying these moronic hacks, but damn I have never seen such unskillful writing with such unproven assertions than I have in the newsmedia.
GregB
Three Burkean boners for Ryan!
feebog
Would love, love, love to see a VP debate between Biden and Ryan. Biden would wipe the floor with the smary little bastard. Bring it on rMoney, bring it on.
Elizabelle
@Spaghetti Lee:
I love the suggestion they’re wanking out of camera range.
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@Spaghetti Lee:
Urgh. I can’t look at the picture any more now. Ew.
amk
You guyz don’t get it. This is a ploy to make the wingnutz and fundies forget about who is at the top of the ticket and try to get some razzle-dazzle with the literally blue eyed boy to get their sorry ass votes. Otherwise mittbot is bound to lose by blow-out double digit margins.
ed
No sale. Needs more Jesus.
Citizen_X
@Quincy: “I’m Paul Ryan, and this is me at my most masochistic.” BLAM!
freelancer (iPhone)
@Violet:
You have been out there on top of everything today.
Kudos are in order.
scav
um, how can being “one of the lone voices of fiscal sanity in Congress” be interpreted as evidence of “proven leadership”? Shouldn’t there be a non-invisible parade of entities being led trailing behind him?
amk
@Violet: yup, it’s mccain/palin retread 2012.
And malin is a winnah.
jl
@scav: Seems like Mitt signals he will drink whatever strange potion the wingnuts dream up. If Mitt follows through, will work strange chnages in his campaign strategy, and unpredictable transformations in his behavior, which may become awkward.
The Prometheus movie comes to mind.
Ick.
Mitt needs to tough it out, and stick to The Anodyne Agenda.
It will make a great title for a thriller.
Johnny Coelacanth
@pseudonymous in nc: “Slick and Slack.” Hah! If Violet hadn’t already won today’s Internet, it would have to go to you, for this. Slick and Slack, the Crap-It brothers.
jl
@Sarah, Proud and Tall: SPaT, did you know that your titles and parts of your posts can be interpreted in salacious manner?
But don’t blame us. Your subtexts get our innocent young minds into deviltry.
I am sure you are shocked, and such unfortunate accidents will never happen again. Or at least tonight.
Z
Doubt he’ll sign on for the Veep spot even if asked given that he could’ve announced he was running for President early this year and had a pretty good chance of winning given the competition (and GOP derangement as to his popularity/vulnerability). Too bad because it would’ve been hilarious to see the Romney money machine go after Ryan on Ayn Rand’s atheism.
Villago Delenda Est
Well, by modern Rethug standards, being a draft dodging sack of shit is not “60’s baggage”. Hell, they don’t mind motherfucking deserters running for President.
TooManyJens
I’ve read slash fanfic that had guys declaring less over-the-top devotion to other guys than this.
NotMax
Methinks they doth promote (Ryan) too much.
asiangrrlMN
As long as it’s not Ratface Pawlenty. ‘Coz if that happens, Imma need to throatpunch someone, Cole-style.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@jl: I suspect that at least one of them is voting for whoever DougJ decides to vote for.
The Other Chuck
@jl:
The fact that he’s in his?
I mean yeah he looks great for his age but gosh darn it to the sock hop with a sasparilla and an onion on my belt does he talk like an oldster.
James E. Powell
@David Koch: j
He’s a draft dodger
That’s not baggage for a Republican, or at least it didn’t hurt either member of the Bush/Cheney Junta.
Besides, Mitt was working his ass off trying to save those cheese-eating surrender monkeys for the Great American Jesus while Obama and his terrorist pals were back here partying, putting headbands on, doing drugs, and listening to the god damn Beatles albums!
Ash Can
These Corner guys are on acid. They have no grasp of the reality of what Ryan can and can’t do. What he can do is get his chops busted on a daily basis by the pros running the Obama/Biden campaign. What he can’t do is any better than that. David Koch is right — he can’t even face his own constituents. Team Obama will have him flat on the ground, looking out his ear hole, before he even starts to campaign.
Personally, I don’t think it’ll be Ryan. I think ed @ #49 is right about needing more Jeezus. I think it’ll be some Southern hick creationist like Mike Huckabee, Haley Barbour, or Bobby Jindal. Maybe even Nikki Haley. He needs some Confederacy on his ticket. A Southerner will fire up the base, assuage the Holy Rollers and rednecks — and will also end up flat on the ground, looking out his ear hole, before he even starts to campaign.
The Other Chuck
The Republican VP pick will satisfy at least one of the following criteria in the vain hope that this will automatically result in a demographic sea change toward their candidate for sharing either of these traits:
A) Melanin
B) A vagina
So, not Ryan.
The Republic of Stupidity
Truthfully?
That picture made me throw up in my mouth a little…
Okay… ya got me… I did lie…
It made me throw up a LOT…
NotMax
We’ve also seen how thin-skinned Ryan can be when he threw a hissy fit earlier on following the Obama administration daring say boo about his so-called ‘budget.’
Cain
Couldn’t they have dressed better? Did someone make a shirt from a table clothe for Romney? And the other guy isn’t much better.
I realize they want to connect by using middle america shirts, but honestly. I doubt he would be caught dead in that shirt prior to running for President. He also forgot to roll up his sleeves to show he’s “gittin it done..fer the good folks’
sheesh.
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@jl:
I don’t know if I do subtext, dear. It’s all kind of out there.
third of two
Reality is untenable, so metaphors are all they have.
NotMax
Romney’s wretched excess weekend jaunt.
Presumably Versailles was already booked.
majii
I like Quentin Tarantino, but I cannot stand Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan can’t hold a candle to the natural wit, intelligence and talent that Tarantino possesses. The one thing Jeffrey Anderson seems to forget is that a douchebag is still a douchebag. Place Paul Ryan beside Mitt Romney and all you’ll have are two guys who look and act like they have mop handles rammed up their arses.
Kane
Jeffrey H. Anderson offered this same argument more than a year ago when he was advocating for a Ryan presidency. Apparently his entire thesis is based on a astroturf Tea Party Straw Poll that found Paul Ryan ranked first in the greatest amount of overlap between the Tea Party favorites and the establishment favorites.
Here he is making the argument at the CBS News op-ed:
http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-215_162-20037704.html
Darkrose
@TooManyJens:
I’ve written slash fanfic that’s had guys declaring less over-the-top devotion to other guys than this. Most of it, in fact. If I’d beta’d this, I’d send it back with the note: “Way too purple. Nobody’s going to buy this. Dial it back to 11, please.”
NotMax
Ernest Borgnine dies at 95.
Mentioned here as it’s extremely obliquely on topic since he starred in the movie “Willard.” ;)
gorram
@Citizen_X:
Well, when your election strategy is 50% + 1…
Batocchio
So basically, their turn-ons include men who lie about budget numbers (among other things) to funnel even more money to the rich and screw over the poor. Sounds about right. Same as it ever was…
Joey Maloney
@Darkrose: Is it time for a BJ contest for most repulsive Republican slash?
Romney/Virgin Ben: Mitt’s hands roamed freely, tweaking Ben’s nipples, then trailing down his nearly-hairless belly to grasp his erecting shaft with one while the other reached back to squeeze his wallet. Mitt’s mouth pursed in a moue of disappointment at the diminutive size of both, but he gamely continued. He was running for President, for Pete’s sake.
“Stop, oh please, stop, please,” Ben whimpered half-heartedly. “I’ve never…never…I was saving myself…”
Mitt chuckled robotically. “I’m sure you’re not all spent…yet,” he whispered as he extracted the last hundred from the billfold.
the farmer
Jesus Christ. That photo of Lord Mittens and Paul Ryan: these two clowns are characters out of an Al Capp cartoon. The only thing missing from the picture is a cameo by Senator Jack S. Phogbound and General Bullmoose.
…Francisco Franco flatlined.
*
Patricia Kayden
If President Obama is doing such a good job hitting Romneybot 2.0 with ads in key states, just imagine what he’ll do against Ryan. Should be fun.
Baud
In other words, he’s nothing like a Quentin Tarantino character.
Xenos
GAME CHANGE!
The more despairing the situation in the swing states on August 1, the more desperate the pick. Look for some psychotic from dixie as a hail-mary pass to the Pennsyltucky demographic. It will cost Ohio and Florida, and ‘game change’ will segue to ‘game over’ by September 15.
bjacques
If Ryan doesn’t bring a big enough Electoral College dowry as running mate, Romney’s campaigners can always set him on fire and find another one.
Mark S.
I almost spit coffee all over the monitor when I read that. That might be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. Is this idiot serious? Is there one piece of legislation that Ryan has actually passed? Does he have any influence at all except on a small portion of the GOP?
Joey Maloney
@Xenos: With an estimated three-quarters of a million voters disenfranchised by Pennsylvania’s voter-suppression law (well over Obama’s margin of victory in 2008) I don’t think the VP pick is the number-one concern on either side.
JPL
I’m still hoping Chris Christie is the pick. Romney’s bullying past would not haunt him because Chris would just tell anyone who brought it up to shut the f..k up.
It’s a win! If per chance Romney wins, is Ann bringing her dancing pony to the White House. There goes the garden.
Ben Cisco
OK, I read that bit three times over, and I have come to a conclusion.
These people are psychotic; there’s no way somebody could write that and NOT have something wrong with him/her.
And worse, they think their audience is even MORE fucked in the head than they are, and they’re probably RIGHT.
SRW1
If you look carefully at that pic, you notice how Romney is struggling not to puke. Which to me is a tell that Ryan isn’t going to be his VP buddy.
danielx
Given the current philosophy of the Republican Party, being compared with Paul Ryan probably has James Madison spinning in his grave like a high speed centrifuge.
EIGRP
@The Other Chuck:
Are you sure Ryan doesn’t have a vagina? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Eric
gelfling545
@jl: Louis Vuitton, probably.
Frankensteinbeck
Holy horse apples. Did he just admit out loud that all the older GOP are scared of The Negro? Civil Rights is the only thing that happened in the 60s that would cause ‘angst’ about Obama. We’re not talking code here, there’s no other way to read that. Please, Mister Walsh, tell me more. Exactly how much angst and animus would you say your party feels about Obama because of the 60s? The nation needs to hear, after all.
Also, that picture is terrible. TERRIBLE. Romney would be insane to put Ryan on the ticket. Ryan’s actual emotion makes Romney’s lost expression overwhelm his decent looks, and being next to an acceptably handsome man makes Ryan look like a monkey. Seriously, look at that and tell me he’s not wondering where he can steal a banana from an old lady.
EDIT – Also, yay, my strategy of posting on an almost dead thread to give me a chance to figure out blockquote worked!
JR in WV
I hope everyone participating on this thread has already either (a) contributed all the $$$ they can afford to the Obama / congressional races, or (b) signed up to work with their local campaign on telephone banks, voter visitation, driving voters to vote early, etc.
‘Cause it isn’t over yet, and lots of people out there actually have been convinced that President Obama was born in Kenya, and IS really a Muslim. I confess I want to ask people who say that “So what?” to see if the idea that a veteran would vote for a Muslim candidate for President would cause cardiac arrest. One less voter for Mittster!
But again, my point is sign up, work hard, contribute, do something to make it happen!!!
rikyrah
the same zombie-eyed Granny Killer that had his ass handed to him by the President of the United States – to his face.
and, who is too much of a pussy to meet with a bunch of NUNS?
oh yeah, I’m sure Biden is quaking in his boots at the thought of debating Goober Ryan.
quannlace
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
I just did.
maya
On my computer the Romney & Ryan banner looks like Romney is in the background doing closed captions for the billionaires.
Jebediah
@Citizen_X:
I went to college with a gay Ayn Rand fan. Well, for two years anyway – he washed out partway through sophomore year. In his case, anyway, I think objectivism was a convenient way to justify stealing change off my desk so he could buy some weed.
It was a long, long time ago, but if he is anything like he was, it won’t matter who he plans to vote for – he won’t make it to the polls until at least the next day.
Nemesis
Dow-dahdow-dow-dow…You got a purdee mouff…
quannlace
Don’t you know? For GOP’er;s, Plaid equals Salt-of-the-Earth. They think it makes them look like an average Joe. \
Just makes them look like they’re playing dress up.
bob h
This is why Christie blew up at the seashore a few days ago.
Brian R.
Please put Ryan on the ticket. Please.
Reasonable 4ce
Pretty please.
Jebediah
@Brian R.: ‘
No, no – we are all supposed to be yowling about how much Ryan scares us.
Dear Rmoney Campaign-
As a dirty, worthless, mooching liberal, I am begging you not to put Paul “I’m Too Galty For This Shirt” Ryan on the ticket.
LAC
Please put zombie eyed granny killer on the ticket! If only to see how far Jennifer Rubin’s tongue goes up there. She could give those boys a run for their money. Unless you would prefer watching Jeffy and Mikey slap Ryan’s dick out of each other’s mouths when one of them feels needy.
I am with JR on this – contribute time and money, and vote!
Heliopause
Yeah, imagine it. This clown has been lulled into a false sense of security by Joe Biden’s many gaffes, but if there is one thing Biden does well it’s sell that workin’ stiff schtick. He’ll talk about how he worked himself up from nothing, commuting on the train every day, catching emotion in his throat every so often, then point out how Ryan will take away grandma’s Medicare and force her to walk to the Ryancare Vouch-O-Rama every month where she can trade in her Ryancare scrip for cigarettes and Advil. Then when Ryan retorts that his magical Land-O-Vouchers will unleash the hounds of the free market Biden will point out that the vast sums of money being transferred to Mitt Romney’s buddies won’t have time to trickle down to grandma before she dies penniless and gasping for oxygen.