So when I was at the vet the other day, and I told him that Tunch spends a lot of time outside these days and I should probably get him on a flea treatment, he said “Well, he’s lost weight, so I think the fence and the ability for Tunch to go outside is doing him a lot of good.” I just chuckled, because I know how Tunch spends his time outside:
Maybe some of the fat is melting away.
fasteddie9318
Well, there you go, another failing fail from John Fail on his fail blog of failure. Also too, something something fail.
asiangrrlMN
You stop picking on my Tunchie, Cole! He’s a handsome bastard, he is. TUUUUUUUUNCHIE!
pragmatism
this pic: http://dlisted.com/2012/06/08/hot-slut-day
reminded me of tunch. #62 in our programs. weighs 62 pounds.
slag
@fasteddie9318: Needs moar fail.
ant
my kitteh jumps right over the fence, and goes prowling around the neighborhood.
He is dewclawed, so this is not allowed. He needs to be supervised at all times, especially at dusk when he tries to take off like clockwork.
Haydnseek
Truly a magnificent beast. I thank him for letting us live in his world.
j
The June centerfold for “Cat Fanciers” magazine?
Spaghetti Lee
John, why’d you leave a plastic bag full of flour in your yard?
gogol's wife
Tunch is a splendid animal. I love him.
j
Didn’t Scott Brown do that same pose?
gogol's wife
@fasteddie9318:
I’m glad I realized I had to go back one thread to figure out what this was about.
ant
forgot to mention, there was a baby wabbit out there the other day that was the source of a serious burst of energy. a failed attempt though for the kitteh.
one day, i caught my kitteh nom nom nom noming on a wasp. I have no idea how he did not get stung, and he still likes to hunt any flying insects he sees.
Valdivia
Tunch! He looks so happy. Thanks for sharing this one John.
David Koch
somewhere in China, someone is licking their chops.
Tunch mui tasty
Spaghetti Lee
Missed the last open thread, so I’ll just say I was in the kitchen tonight while my mom was watching the CBS evening news, and they showed clip of a Romney speech than cut away to critique his claims, notably that Romney was incorrect about how many private sector jobs have been gained under Obama and how far average household income has fallen (6.4% as opposed to Romney’s claim of 10%.)
I don’t think the word ‘lied’ was used, but ‘wrong’ definitely was. I figure I should give them a pat on the back when they actually do their jobs right.
Catherine
Yay, Tunch!
MosesZD
John, your cat is a liar. NO matter how much he tells you he needs food… He doesn’t…
Raven
@fasteddie9318: My friend that passed away was Professor Fail. One of his students spoke at his service and recalled that when she saw her first class on her first day of college was with Dr Fail! It was a sweet moment.
Jade Jordan
Tunch is still HUGE your eyes are failing you. HUGE and adorable.
RoonieRoo
Do y’all not a have a problem with heartworms in WVA? If you don’t, then you are a lucky ducky. Even the cats down here need to be on heartworm preventative if they go outside.
Cats aren’t at as high of a risk as dogs, but they are still at risk if outdoors. Just a thought to ask your vet about next time you are in.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: Floofy kitteh iz floofy. And I have a Dachshund begging food off me. She’s relentless.
Litlebritdifrnt
@ant:
One of my many moons ago cats Bailey ate a wasp, his face swelled up to the point that he looked like one of those Chinese Opera masks. The vet told me to give him child strength Benadryl and that did the trick.
gaz
Awwww. Lurv Tunchie! He’s what got my little black kitteh to pay attention to the screen, also too. Now I can’t keep him away from it. =) Your cat is corrupting my cat.
Steve in DC
@David Koch:
It’s not only in China that they eat cats and dogs! Many of the animals we keep as pets are considered tasty treats in other parts of the world!
Keith
Seems like all cats LOVE scratching their backs on concrete.
Litlebritdifrnt
Reposted from downstairs a song for internet trolls. NSFW
http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/thanks-haters-a-song-for-inter.html
beltane
I see no evidence of fat melting away in that picture. My fat cat has the good sense to wear black fur; it makes him look much more svelte, almost like a miniature bear.
LanceThruster
CAPTION – “Tunch eclipses the sun…again.”
jl
Another epic Tunch pic. Thanks.
Looks like a transit of something or other. Not sure what. And that is good enough for me.
I nominate this one, and the supertanker Tunch shot we saw a few days to go on some BJ gear.
Raven
@jl: It’s a lighter and a sprinkler.
jl
Just a thought, but maybe your vet is right.
Is that a pic of Tunch trying to get over the fence?
Edit: Or if that is Tunch trying to roll over, maybe we could get a time lapse video of the event.
Edit edit: I think I read there won’t be another one until 2117, though.
Mary G
Every time I see a picture of Tunch I feel a little better about my inability to control my cat’s weight.
WaterGirl
@Raven: Hi! Saw some posts by stuckinred on an earlier thread and wondered if you had gone back to that, but maybe you were just on a different computer?
slag
Mr. Rogers asks, “Did you ever see a cat’s eyes in the dark and wonder what they were?”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OFzXaFbxDcM
ruemara
That is an adorable snowball who’s happy. I’ve 2 of them in that pose right now in my room.
cathyx
A caption for that picture:
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
catpal
call sea world?? not nice. good thing Tunch can’t read, but if he can read your mind you are in Big Trouble soon.
Joy in FL
I needed that.
Thanks Tunch.
David Koch
Tunch = Anchor Cat
Raven
@WaterGirl: Yea, I got a new macbook pro and migrated the data from another machine and it was the default.
Yutsano
Oh man, that mouseover is priceless!!
pragmatism
@David Koch: i’ll bite. a la ron burgundy? to be used as an actual anchor for an aircraft carrier? his immigrant parents can claim citizenship?
reminds me of something a sadlyno commenter said: the tough thing about anchor babies is figuring out where to attach the chain.
jl
As long as fat cats are the subject of conversation, Wonkette has a news flash siren alert about the bad kind.
Who Will Rescue the Banks From these Anti-American Assaults on Their Freedom?
by Kris E. Benson
http://wonkette.com/474792/who-will-rescue-the-banks-from-these-anti-american-assaults-on-their-freedom
Nobel prize winning economist Robert Engle calculates that US banks are $500 billion short of capital requirements needed if another financial crisis hits, only about $40 billion short of the shortfall before the 2008 panic.
So, Robert Engle was one of the economists running around with his hair on fire before the panic warning the financial wizards that their math models were falling apart. He did this in the quiet back rooms and in nerd seminars so made less of splash than Krugman’s warning about the housing bust, but he called it pretty much in real time like Stiglitz did.
So, what could he know about it?
Edit: specifically, he developed a way to measure the stability of the statistical relationships that went into the wizards’ models, and noticed in the year before the crash that they were becoming very unstable. But what they hey? He ain’t rich.
The Dangerman
@cathyx:
Looks more like “You want me to go on a diet? I’ve got your diet right HERE, buddy.”
Bago
I suppose that’s one way to get a bleaching down there.
slag
@jl:
Actually, that’s Tunch trying show John the dark side of the moon.
quannlace
Ahoy, Matey. That is one cat-flotilla!
********
But it made me smile, thinking of my dog, Kate, on the really first warm day of Spring.
Aaaah, gotta bake that belly!
jnfr
Some of us were talking about Maine Coon-type cats the other day. We got Jamey his summer lion cut. It’s always sad to trim his beautiful coat, but he’s so much more comfortable without it, and his velvet back and belly are delicious to pet.
cathyx
@The Dangerman: I like yours better.
jl
@slag: How about
Fleeceberg catting in the waddle sea?
SiubhanDuinne
@John Cole: that is my favourite picture of Tunch you have ever posted. I loooooove him.
Roger Moore
His fur is burned out in that photograph; you need to dial in a bit of negative exposure compensation when you’re photographing him in direct sunlight. Other than that, though, it’s great to see Our Feline Overlord large and in charge.
Just Some Fuckhead
Too white, fat beyond belief and perpetually grumpy. Apples don’t fall too far from the tree.
SiubhanDuinne
@jnfr:
Beautiful beautiful cat. Do you have any photos of him in his pre-lion, uh, foliage?
SiubhanDuinne
@Just Some Fuckhead:
LOL
Citizen_X
You know the internet adds ten pounds, right?
Elie
Leave Tunch ALONE!!!
Hill Dweller
OT: Apple is rumored to be introducing a new line of laptops next week that are a hybrid of the MacBook Pro and MacBook Air. They will purportedly be lighter and slimmer than the MacBook Pro, but have roughly the same computing power, retina display, no optical drive, better battery life and the choice of SSD or regular hard disk.
slag
@jnfr: Wow. My Maine Coonish would never go for that. The last time he had buzzers held in his vicinity he whapped them across the room where they were never to be heard from again. He’s got a long paw. I believe Ichiro would refer to it as soft muscle.
Yours looks great, though.
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: Tunchie is my beloved. We adopt him into our fake-family, yes?!? I saw pic of wiener dog on the Book of Faces. O.O
@jnfr: So cute! I bet he loves feeling lighter in the summer.
The Other Chuck
Who knew West Virginia had snowdrifts in June?
khead
TUNCH PORCH FLOOFINESS!
cathyx
@Hill Dweller: That sounds like my macbook, which they discontinued.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Just turned on the TV in time to catch a commercial for this week’s This Week. To discuss Obama’s Terrible Week, the have a “powerhouse panel”: Ed Rendell, Mike Huckabee and Ann Coulter.
Yutsano
@asiangrrlMN: There’s explanation on Book of Faces as well. But for the folks here: parents are dogsitting two wienerhounds. They are both very sweet.
Tunch is patriarch of our clan. FH #1 won’t dispute this.
slag
@Just Some Fuckhead: To be fair, apples that size wouldn’t last very long on the tree in the first place.
Judas Escargot, Your Postmodern Neighbor
Gaze upon that belly and know fear.
Valdivia
OT but that guy covering for Kilgore at Washington Monthly. Oh boy. I think I may just have to stay away from it until Kilgore gets back. Publishes a letter from Nader and asks why Obama is not at Netroots. Yeah. That’s what Obama needs.
slag
@jl: Now we know what really sank the Titanic.
jl
@asiangrrlMN: But honey, how are we going to feed the kids?
beltane
Meet Orly Taitz, dentist, lawyer, real estate agent, and medical marijuana advocate.
slag
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: They need to change the name of that show to “Soooo Last Week”.
SiubhanDuinne
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Well, that’s pretty much in keeping with what’s been fucking up the WaPo opinion pages this week.
slag
@Valdivia:
Unless Obama gets called Uncle Tom at least once every four years, we’re not doing our job as Liberal Americans.
Patricia Kayden
Uh uh. That is the fattest cat I’ve ever seen. Is there a Slimfast for cats? She’s cute as hell though.
Schlemizel
We have a pair of rescues. One must have been hungry at some time as she will eat anything & everything. She can’t stand us eating unless she is too. She goes nuts when we sit down to dinner. She has a 6 foot vertical leap when I open a can of cat food or of tuna fish. When I split a can of cat food between her the the mellow cat she will eat all of hers and everything the other has left.
The other will never eat human food. Not even fish or meat, raw or cooked. She is not particularly interested in cat food & rarely eats half of her half of a can of food.
All that I understand at some level. What I don’t understand is why the ravenous kitty weight maybe 6 lbs & you can see all her ribs while the one that does not eat is bigger than Tunch. Life is not fair.
asiangrrlMN
@Yutsano: Tunchie rules. Period. I can haz picture of border collies? And, LEXIE!
@jl: They can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, damn it! What am I, a milk machine?!? Tunchie needs his tuna – that’s the most important thing.
@Schlemizel: My boys, brothers, eat roughly the same amount of food. One weighs three pounds more than the other. I don’t get it, either.
muddy
@Keith:
When I didn’t used to let them out, the skinny black cat DIarmuid would dash out and down the steps, but was easily recaptured because he would stop instantly on the concrete at the bottom, to roll about and get dust in his fur.
Is that to get more fiber in the diet while grooming?
TaMara (BHF)
@asiangrrlMN: Thank goodness you were here early to defend our Tunch’s honor. I can’t believe the alt-text. Shame on John, succumbing to the negative Tunch ads. Next thing we know he’ll be asking for the birth certificate.
Patricia Kayden
Oh, Tunch is a he. My bad.
Valdivia
@slag:
Of course! I forgot. ;)
bemused
@Schlemizel:
Thyroid issues?
asiangrrlMN
@TaMara (BHF): INORITE? Tunchie should sue Cole for defamation of character!
Just Some Fuckhead
They weigh them at the vet, John. What does Tunch weigh?
TaMara (BHF)
@Just Some Fuckhead: I’ve had a crappy day and that comment made me smile for the first time.
Hill Dweller
@cathyx:
The rumor is they’re going to call it a MacBook. If it sells well, they’re going to discontinue the MacBook Pro line.
amk
Well, he is gonna need more suns to melt away all that fat.
Just Some Fuckhead
@TaMara (BHF):
There’s only so much happiness to go around in the world. By saying something hurtful to John, I was able to free up some happiness for you.
p.a.
thank god. The last Tunch pic, he looked like Cole turned him into a slipper for one of his pedicured hoofs. I was imagining neighborhood notes about a missing black cat, for the other foot.
is that a ground platform or a raised deck? If deck, get some extra bracing.
jeffreyw
Tunch would make good mulch in your raised bed garden, John.
muddy
Since I have been letting mine out, their fur has been amazing. Really super shiny. The black one has blue highlights like Superman in a cartoon.
That Tunch is a fine figure of a cat. I’m always amused that he and Lily are of similar size.
The Red Pen
Sorry to break it to you, but Tunch has a severe case of ridonkulitis. Rub his belly until he bites you. That should take care of him.
asiangrrlMN
@Just Some Fuckhead: Now that comment made ME laugh. Thanks, JSF!
@jeffreyw: D’awwwww! Cuuuuute! Bitsy is a sweetie.
TaMara (BHF)
@jeffreyw: Bitsy should watch out, a basil rub leads to snacking.
Bitsy: All your basil belongs to me.
Schlemizel
@bemused:
No we had both looked at pretty well. The skinny one walks like something is wrong but there is no problem despite us spending way too much on tests & x-rays etc. The tub (daughter named her “muffin” which I have edited to “muffin top” or “topper” for short) had a thing we needed to fix & testing showed everything else was OK.
I think its just natures way of letting us know we are not in control of anything.
cathyx
@Hill Dweller: Seriously? From 2006 to 2011 they made a macbook. I bought mine in 2010. To make it again, call it the same thing and act like it’s new is ridiculous. That’s just a way to up the price for the same product. They could at least call it something different.
jeffreyw
@TaMara (BHF): Those are my habaneros. Hot pussy!
TaMara (BHF)
@Just Some Fuckhead: It only works because Cole is in on the joke.
He’s know we all love him and he’s floofy, not fat.
jeffreyw
Drew out the mod on that last comment.
@TaMara (BHF): That pot has my new habanero plants. Hot p*ssy!
Just Some Fuckhead
@TaMara (BHF): John is prolly weeping silently into a bag of bonbons right now.
slag
@Valdivia: Me too! These things are easy to forget. That’s why we rely on Ralph to set a 1/5th score-ly reminder on his yahoo calendar.
TaMara (BHF)
All right, between the Tunch photo and all your comments I think I’m revived and can now face the rest of the evening. You guys rock.
TaMara (BHF)
@jeffreyw: I dare you to put that on the blog.
Elizabelle
He looks happy out there.
And rotund does not begin to describe him.
gwangung
You know, I never figured out why nobody ever realized how damn offensive, presumptuous and flat out racist Nader was when he said this.
Dude. You DON’T do that.
Elizabelle
You have the William Howard Taft of cats.
jeffreyw
@TaMara (BHF): Your momma reads your blog.
asiangrrlMN
@jeffreyw: As does Cole’s mom and this blog. ::waves at Cole’s mom::.
@gwangung: ‘Coz he’s an offensive, privileged git.
ellie
So cute!
Just Some Fuckhead
@asiangrrlMN:
No, she has the blog read to her. By John, over the phone. And he only reads her DougJ’s stuff. She thinks DougJ is delightful and will go on and on for hours about the time he pwned Jeffrey Goldstein.
asiangrrlMN
@Just Some Fuckhead: Awwww! That’s so sweet that she thinks of MetrosexualBlackAbeJ as her favorite son!
Hill Dweller
@cathyx: From what I understand, it is a MacBook Pro(same computing power), but in a MacBook Air-like body. There will be no optic drive, but 20% more battery capacity than the MacBook Pro.
They’re also rumored to be refreshing the 13 and 15 inch MacBook Pro with optical drives and regular hard drives, but discontinuing the 17 inch model. However, they’re keeping the MacBook Pro around as an insurance policy in the event of poor sales of the new MacBook. If the new MacBook sells, the MacBook Pro will be discontinued.
I think they’re hoping to streamline their laptop lines into one MacBook model with various sizes, and dump the Air and Pro versions.
Stuck in the Funhouse
LOL, from Emptywheel,
DougJ, Dougj, over, DougJ. DO YOU READ ME.
Keep on your toes and lookouts for ODrones circling above. Be safe. And see if you can’t sneak a peek into the most important panel in the world. Did you bring your Clouseau disguise?
Sorry, just couldn’t let this one go by without a pinch of mocksnark/
Poopyman
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Let’s be realistic.
gwangung
@asiangrrlMN: Sow howcum it seems to be POC that realize this. Doesn’t seem to matter to white progressives, does it?
Poopyman
I dunno. We’ve got two indoor/outdoor cats and 3 indoor-only cats, and the indoor-only ones are all pudgy, from mild to 22+ pounds worth. The other two are thin, maybe too much so. I know they spend their time outside much like Tunch, so there’s something else going on.
When we got the three pudges from the shelter we agreed not to let them out, and after 5 years it just wouldn’t be safe. It’s more rural here than Bethany and we have no fence. But I suspect they’d be at healthier weights if they could have been going out all these years.
SiubhanDuinne
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Well, of course I read that as “bag of bourbon” and I’m thinking, OK, I know you can get wine in a box, but bourbon in a BAG?? Come ON.
Just Some Fuckhead
@asiangrrlMN:
You know she doesn’t have any idea he’s going by that nick, right? That would prolly be a bridge too far.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Are you sure that Tunch is losing weight? He could be collapsing in on himself in preparation for going supernova.
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Gotta set the Obama-is-fail theme in place for this summer and fall to appease the wealthy media overlords.
Villager careers and paychecks matter more than anything else.
David Koch
Tunch = white Biggie Smalls
jnfr
@SiubhanDuinne:
Yeah, here he is in his full glory. Unfortunately he is auto-immune so we have to trim him or his digestive system gets very sick.
jnfr
@slag:
We have him shaved at his vet’s and they use sedation. When we try to groom him at home, he does his best to gut us. And he’s a total sweetie otherwise, but doesn’t like to be handled that way.
jl
@SiubhanDuinne:
Bag ‘o’ bourbon is good with instant grits and spam.
Edit: and smokes. I forgot about the smokes.
jl
@jnfr:
Your cat is the most beautiful and distinguished looking house pet I have ever seen. In that second pic. With its full coat.
But he likes his summer ‘lion’ cut? Is that what you said?
He puts up with the hair cut, or does he bleed the poor soul who has to trim him?
asiangrrlMN
@gwangung: Same song, different verse. A little bit louder, a little bit worse. Rinse, lather, repeat.
@Just Some Fuckhead: Ah, shit. You’re right. I mean DougJ, of course. Ahem.
@jnfr: Awwwwww, he’s beeeee-yew-teee-ful!
muddy
@jl: My d-i-l shears her longhaired cat in the summer, but leaves him a mohawk. He loves it.
celiadexter
A vet’s assistant once told me that a cat is too fat if he can’t clean his (euphemism). Tunch looks like he’s doing OK, so there you go.
slag
@jnfr: Interesting. Have you tried the zoom groom? Mine hates to be brushed with anything but the zoom groom.
ETA Holy shit. Your cat and my cat could be twins. Did you get yours out of the dumpster too?
catclub
@Just Some Fuckhead: I think they weigh them at the vet if the cat has not cut the vet. If the cat has opened up the vet like a fish, then prolly not.
stinger
He’s melllllting! Alllll his beautiful wickedness!
workworkwork
@jnfr: Great picture! Reminds me of our (sadly late) Maine Coon Scruffy.
We used to take him into the groomers every quarter or so and have them give him a bath, hair cut and nail trim. It took two groomers to do the job (he was a 24 lb. kitteh) and his patience lasted until about five minutes before they were done.
The ladies at the groomers loved him to death, though, even as he chased them around the table.
Eric S.
I did not read all 130 posts so I’m probably not the first to point this out to you, John, but the belly will not rub itself. I know because my Ozzie gives me this pose often.
Fluke bucket
First thing I thought of was that dead flying cat I saw somewhere else at some point in time.
jnfr
@slag:
Not quite a dumpster, but he and his sister, who looks nothing like him, were dumped in a box on a street corner in Denver when they were barely weaned. They were rescued and have been with us ever since.
Chris Grrr™
That is one life-affirming picture, there. All hail.
jnfr
@jl:
He has to be sedated for his grooming. He is not kind to strangers who try to handle him.
kc
“Rub my belly, hairless monkey!”
MacKenna
I worry a little about the screwdriver in the background. John, you don’t want Tunch having weaponry.
SFAW
John –
I hope you’ll forgive me for this, but all I could think of when viewing the picture was “Damn! Where’s Queequeg when you need him?”