Saturday Evening Open Thread: Cookie-Hater-Gate Update
By Anne Laurie February 25th, 2012
(Tom Toles via GoComics.com)
Indiana’s own Doghouse Riley provides a news update from the field:
Perhaps you heard, in one of those “Pig Ignorant News Roundup” or “Signs the Coming Apocalypse is Wholly Justified” segments, about Indiana State Representative Bob Morris, who explained in an email to his Republican colleagues that he didn’t join in a resolution honoring the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because “a small amount of web-based research” had proven to his satisfaction that the Girl Scouts’ real mission was turning America’s self-identified girls into Satanic, pro-abortion, Sapphic analinguettes, using instructional materials thoughtfully provided by Planned Parenthood. The apparently contradiction—that turning girls into lesbians would interfere with Planned Parenthood’s mission of giving every teenager in America an abortion before age 16—can probably be resolved by doing a slightly larger amount of web-based research…
Anyway, tacked onto whatever news coverage you may’ve seen was the quick action of House Speaker Brian “Jesus is my Tambourine Man” Bosma, who spent the day passing out Thin Mints. You know you’ve gone round a big, and possibly un-retraceable, bend when Brian Bosma goes out of his way to call you nuts. This, of course, proved to our newscasters’ satisfaction that Republicans aren’t some religiously-mazed gang of anti-sex weirdos who’ll fall for any piece of urban legend that touches them in their secret hot spots. Just a lone nut.
My personal favorite, though, you probably missed, unless you too are subjected to local Indianapolis teevee: Democrats, faced with a golden opportunity to simply point at the sheer mouth-foaming insanity on the other side of the aisle, instead dug up a picture of Ronald Reagan surrounded by Girl Scouts! Take that, single crackpot Representative his own party had already pummeled half to death!
What’s on tonight’s agenda that isn’t a Klown Kar full of paid-up He-Man Wimmen Haters Club members?
Posted in Open Thread, Republican Stupidity, Vagina Outrage
Notice that the sumbitch kept all the Samoas to himself.
February 25th, 2012 at 6:54 pm
Conference paper due. Brain turning to jello.
February 25th, 2012 at 6:56 pm
Cat in a box.
February 25th, 2012 at 6:57 pm
I just ate a box of tagalongs. They suck.
February 25th, 2012 at 6:58 pm
@Raven: Getting any lesbian feelings or inclinations?
February 25th, 2012 at 7:01 pm
@Raven: I’d be happy to take any remaining Tagalongs off your hands.
In other news, I’m about to try to exercise for the first time since I wrenched my back earlier this week. See y’all in about 40 minutes or when my back seizes up, whichever comes first.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:01 pm
@BGinCHI: Not any more than usual.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:04 pm
@khead: That was cute, thanks. I almost did not look at the links on off chance you meant cat in a litter box.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:06 pm
In all fairness, these people are not actually following Jesus.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:06 pm
I’ve been watching YouTube videos on how to polish shoes. I learned that spit-shining is (1) extremely tedious because it has to be done over and over each time, but your boots will shine like a damn mirror when you’re done, and your sergeant will be satisfied; and (2) called “bulling” in Blighty.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:09 pm
@Amir Khalid: Wow. Slow day at work?
@ornery_curmudgeon: This is the understatement of the year, by a mile.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:10 pm
@BGinCHI: Doesn’t sound like that is part of Girl Scouts’ secret lesbian agenda. Must be part of their floozy agenda.
I read about the great Girl Scout conspiracy. Something wrong with these people. Seriously. How may of these people are pedophiles? If they are not cynical fools, or insane, that is a possibility.
Imagine if the Girls Scouts went camping in the woods. I tell you there is wild uncontrolled sex violence and scatology going on, IN PUBLIC, out in the woods, that’s what.
What are the Girl Scouts’ real agendas in taking innocent little girls out camping the woods, huh?
February 25th, 2012 at 7:11 pm
I did a small amount of web-based research, and I learned that Hitler was very upset that his XBox live account was cancelled.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:12 pm
My blog is down! I am bereft. Constructive measures to kick in at midnight, I understand from my hosting support. I think it’s a comment onslaught by those damned dirty spammers. Ack.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:12 pm
@jl:
Heh. Thanks for looking. Hadn’t though of it that way.
For some reason, Gracie goes up to that coffee box and smacks it until it falls over. Then she climbs in…
February 25th, 2012 at 7:14 pm
@BGinCHI:
Work? What work? It is the weekend. Besides, I am medically retired.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:14 pm
@MaxxLange: Yeah, dammit, the anti gravity beams from their flying saucers messed up their XBox’s and portable time travel machines, and their long bows. That’s why they last.
And they pissed of their space alien advisers.
Weekly World News, one of the premier research sites on the internets, covers it in depth. With footnotes.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:16 pm
after playing guitar with my 7-year old daughter, it has been Fresh Beat Band (dvr) marathon, interspersed with some Mario Party 8 (Mario Party 9 comes out in two weeks). Suffer the children was not meant as an instruction along the lines of be fruitful and multiply.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:17 pm
@Raven:
You’ve been eating Filipinos? Cannibal.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:19 pm
@Amir Khalid:
Cole is going to want details.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Failed out after 2 miles. Sigh.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:27 pm
Hmm, so Guv Jan Brewer is not going to attend the dinner hosted by POTUS and FLOTUS for the Governor’s Association because it is a “social” event and she only there to discuss “policy”...
Methinks that Guv Brewer don’t wanna look POTUS/FLOTUS in the eye after the airport BS incident. Either that or she just doesn’t want to shake POTUS hands at the receiving line.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:31 pm
@WereBear:
It will be okay. The blog will be fixed and you can think nasty thoughts toward the spammers.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:33 pm
Also, I hate all the assholes who walk in the running lanes and run in the walking lanes. You’d think college students would be able to read lane markers, but no.
/grumpy
February 25th, 2012 at 7:33 pm
I get to see a movie I’ve heard about for years tonight for free on campus: “Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom”.
Ms. Zagloba has indicated that she has no desire to attend.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:34 pm
@BGinCHI:
I have congestive heart failure, and I’m not well enough to work. It’s no biggie, but I’ve mentioned this here before.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Wondering if there is a shoe polish video playlist so you don’t have to wade through the thousands of irrelevant videos about the footwear industry in Krakow.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:36 pm
I’ve never even HEARD the word ‘analinguette’, and I thought i was pretty debauched!
February 25th, 2012 at 7:37 pm
@Amir Khalid: Didn’t know. Sorry for being insensitive.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:38 pm
@TooManyJens: Make sure you don’t always run in the same direction. Stress fractures are a bitch.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:39 pm
@jl:
So you can have stories like, when the raccoon came through the circle of girls, toward the fire, grabbed the bag of marshmallows, and took it away.
Much nine-year-old screaming ensued.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:40 pm
I’m sorry, adopted fellow Canadians,but Girl Guide cookies do not hold a candle to the crack that is the Girl Scout cookie. Thank God for my family sending me up a shipment of Thin Mints and Samoas. Caramel and coconut…mmmmmmm!
February 25th, 2012 at 7:40 pm
@raven- I don’t know. Some of my worst falls have come trying to run my route sideways.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:43 pm
@khead:
Oooh, Fair Trade kittens!!
February 25th, 2012 at 7:47 pm
@Zagloba: hard to believe she said no….
February 25th, 2012 at 7:47 pm
@Raven:
Try another three or four boxes before you pass judgement.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:48 pm
From this former Scout, Fuck you, Morris, no cookies for you!
February 25th, 2012 at 7:50 pm
@Suffern ACE:
What surprises me is that every single military spit-shining video I’ve seen so far (from the US, Canada, and Britain) uses the exact same polish: Kiwi black. About half also use Kiwi Parade Gloss on the boot; the rest say Kiwi black alone is enough.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:50 pm
@BGinCHI:
No offense taken. Don’t worry about it.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:52 pm
@TooManyJens:
I am currently taking care of two cats while their real mom is in India for three weeks. Before she left she ordered about $40 worth of GS cookies (she’s not from here, so these are all new flavors to her). I delivered them to her apartment yesterday when I went to feed the moggies, and, unasked, put all the Thin Mints in her freezer. She can thank me later.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:54 pm
Went to see Act of Valor today. I liked it very much, though it doesn’t flow as well as I would have liked. Watching SEAL tactics and a couple of real-life events depicted on the big screen was a treat for me.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:54 pm
@Raven: Yeah, they alternate what direction traffic is allowed to go on the track, presumably for that reason. Today is a clockwise day.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:55 pm
Now that the sun has set over most of North America, take a look in the southwest sky at the dance the Moon and Venus are doing.
And speaking of Thin Mints, I scored my first box yesterday from
a gang of family hating lesbianssome Girl Scouts and their mothers in front of the grocery store. I know some of you folks prefer to order them from the neighbors, but nothing beats the taste of wild Thin Mints you brought down yourself out in the open air.February 25th, 2012 at 7:56 pm
@Zagloba: My experience is that it is the most boring display of debauchery ever.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:58 pm
@YellowJournalism:
That’s so funny, some of my Canadian colleagues refused to buy GS cookies because they thought GG cookies just had to be infinitely superior.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Hey BJ techies, have ya’ll seen this? I’m not really sure what to think about them. What say you fellow techies?
Google to Sell Heads-Up Display Glasses by Year’s End
February 25th, 2012 at 7:58 pm
watching matrix. baked: 3lbs of cherry almond granola with dark chocolate nibs, 20 pieces of southwestern tomato foccacia, 10 coconut mango cupcakes. Also made: slow roasted pot roast, horseradish cream cheese sauce, vegetable soup in red wine roasted chicken broth. Usually, I only intend to “whip up a little something”. I have no idea how it takes up the whole day.
February 25th, 2012 at 7:59 pm
I’m so glad I don’t watch a lot of television lately. I live in Michigan, BTW. Found a new moniker for evil Mr. Rogers – Sick Rant-orum. Little clunky though.
Also getting direct mail, which is a laugh (happen to live in the red part of a blue state). Sick Rant had quotes from Malkin, Beck and Limbaugh on his campaign mailers. Amazing.
Oh, if the Girl Scouts sell cookies, what do the Boy Scouts do to raise funds?
February 25th, 2012 at 7:59 pm
@ruemara: Had to read that twice. I thought you were watching The Matrix while baked, and couldn’t figure out what the shopping list was doing in there as well.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:02 pm
@lamh35:
Wow, the combination of cowardice and arrogance of that woman is simply breathtaking!
Do you have a link for that story? I’m just thunderstruck that she could be so appallingly rude.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:03 pm
@SiubhanDuinne: They are awful, it’s not like this is the first time I ever had GSC. They have zero taste.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
@FuriousPhil: Pancake breakfasts, at least when and where I was one.
To this damn day, if I detect dry instant pancake mix, I lose my appetite. I had to process too much of that stuff back in the day.
Now, cub scouts, we had some den mothers (wuz that their names) who helped us make from scratch. A complete mess ensued but they were good pancakes. And we made stupid hookey woodcraft knicknacks.
Which brings to mind, what is the sinister agenda of he Cub Scouts? Feminizing boys by forcing them to make pancakes from scratch? Or sex with older women? (that would be a good GOP rant to hear).
February 25th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
@FuriousPhil:
They sell Girl Scouts. Haven’t you been following the news?
February 25th, 2012 at 8:08 pm
@SiubhanDuinne:
You know, that comment is going to uncovered in some ‘research’ done by the wingnuts and we’ll be listening some GOP lunatic ranting about it in a few weeks. You know that, right?
They saw it on the internet so it must be true.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:10 pm
@TooManyJens: The inside leg takes a good bit more stress. When I developed mine it took a while to figure out what caused it. Nothing but water for me anymore. How big a track, 400?
February 25th, 2012 at 8:11 pm
My Girl Scout cookies haven’t been delivered yet. I blame Planned Parenthood.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:12 pm
@Raven:
I adore Tagalongs!
February 25th, 2012 at 8:16 pm
@ruemara:
Okay, I missed the punctuation clues on first reading, and read
as
February 25th, 2012 at 8:16 pm
@khead:
I love the look in her eyes.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:17 pm
@jl:
Wow. Hey Mom, I think I’m going to be a citation!!
February 25th, 2012 at 8:18 pm
Grapes of Wrath is on. I wish they had made “In Dubious Battle”.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:19 pm
This rep’s not the only one. The whole Lesbian Abortion Scout thing has been making the rounds of the Insane Conservative Forwarded Email circuit in the last few weeks.
I bought three times the normal amount due to this horseshit, so in addition to the many other things I loathe right wingers for, now I can also claim in all fairness that they’re making me gain weight.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:20 pm
@Raven:
Then I have to ask, why did you eat a whole box?
(I’ve never had Tagalongs and never will; I don’t let myself get close to anything with peanuts or peanut butter. So I have to take your word for it.)
February 25th, 2012 at 8:22 pm
@SiubhanDuinne:
Jan Brewer To Skip Governors Dinner At White House On Sunday
February 25th, 2012 at 8:23 pm
@SiubhanDuinne: Cuz it was there.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:24 pm
@lamh35: Fuck her and the horse she road in on.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:25 pm
@SiubhanDuinne: Don’t be silly. They merely rent them out.That way they can do it repeatedly.
And to address the question: Around here the Boy Scouts sell various flavors of popcorn. Yuck. I usually just drop a $5 on them and make them promise not to force their damned popcorn on me.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:26 pm
@lamh35: @22 What, she’s giving up another opportunity to shake a finger in their faces?
February 25th, 2012 at 8:26 pm
@Raven: About 320; it’s indoors.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:29 pm
@Poopyman:
Sorry, that’s too much like contributing to some hateful, fundie church. Or the 700 club, but I repeat myself.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:31 pm
@lamh35: I’ll take “drinking” for $1000, Alex.
Her problem is well known.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:32 pm
@jl:
You’re not going to hear any right wing complaints about the Boy Scouts because they’re a wholly owned subsidiary of big wingnut. They’re more than happy to throw out any damn gay, transgender, atheist, or what have you who fails to live up to their standards.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:32 pm
@TooManyJens: The Armory?
February 25th, 2012 at 8:36 pm
@FuriousPhil: Cub Scouts sell popcorn. My Scout troop collected newspapers, which the local troop also does. Can’t imagine it’s bringing in much money any more.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:36 pm
@lamh35:
She needs to stop off and collect her wingnut welfare check.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Worse than Fellini’s Casanova?
February 25th, 2012 at 8:38 pm
@Roger Moore: The Boy Scout borg has absorbed the Cub Scouts? Oh noes!
I’m an old fogey from before all that stuff.
Why you damn kids, I remember back in the day when the Scouts was DFHs, running around with wild animals out in the woods!
February 25th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Has anyone seen “Safe House” yet? If so what did ya’ll think? I’ll admit, they had me at two words “Denzel” and “Washington”, but I haven’t had a chance yet to see it.
Just wondering what people thought.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:45 pm
@Amir Khalid: I was in the US Army prior to “Fluff and Buff”. Kiwi black is required, cotton balls, a small amount of water,preferably from the tap in the latrine of WW2 era barracks. Sit your ass down on your footlocker and go to work. Start with plenty of polish on the entire boot (I suggest doing them 4-5 times and buffing the hell out them with brush and use a buffing rag on the parts you need to spit shine) when you finish that, take a break, smoke em if you got em, put a layer of Kiwi on the toe and the heel area. Take a piss, bullshit with your buddys and come back to your boots in a hour. Wet a cotton ball and get to work, nice tight circles will do it. Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. Also, don’t ever think of wearing them on a forced march, the range, KP, etc. these babies are for inspections, parades and for sucking up to the Platoon Sgt, only. At ease, trooper.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:46 pm
@Jager: That’s if you don’t have Corcoran’s.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:48 pm
All of my advice works the best if you are working in your underwear and shower shoes. As you were.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Riddle me This, Riddle me Dee. While abortions are not be be permitted even to save the life of the mother, this too is coming down the line. There’s a bill in MN that sharply expands the circumstances under which people can use deadly force when they feel threatened. Don’t worry, it’s been opposed by the vast majority of the 300-plus members of the Minnesota Chiefs of Police Association, but whadjaknow, the Repubs are still pushing it. The Minnesota County Attorneys Association aren’t fond of all of it either. But hey, the repubs want to make it clear that self-protection is a-ok, so let’s not get all het up about the fiddling practical details of the legislation. Brave Governor Mark Dayton (D) is still mum on if he’ll sign or no.
Just remember, in their world, you can’t do anything about feeling threatened, let alone actually being threatened, by anyone if they’re inside you. Those threats to life you roll over and die for.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:53 pm
@Raven: He is in boot camp, when he gets out of AIT, he can take the next step. Its been over 40 years, did I miss anything?
February 25th, 2012 at 8:55 pm
@Raven: No, the remodeled (and renamed) IMPE. I did run a few high school track meets at the Armory, back in the day.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:56 pm
My flu seems a little better today. I was able to get up and shower (though I had to rest for about 20 minutes afterward) and sitting up on the couch isn’t a major effort like it was yesterday. I even got some knitting done, which was too much work yesterday.
It helped that I made G buy me some Robitussin Night on his way home last night. We have NyQuil on hand from his bout with a nasty cold, but NyQuil keeps me awake for some reason. Robitussin puts me right to sleep.
(And it’s not all psychomilogical like G suspected—I checked the ingredients and they’re different.)
February 25th, 2012 at 8:56 pm
@Jager: Missed the boot camp part I guess. I’ve been out since 69.
February 25th, 2012 at 8:59 pm
@TooManyJens: When I got there they were still building IMPE. Course when I was born I live caty-corner in Stadium Terrace.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:00 pm
@scav:
Since your cite give no specifics or details it is rather difficult to take a position on the bill. A further problem is that the cite doesn’t explain what is being replaced.
As for Police Chiefs and DAs, their opinions are about as suspect as it gets – that’s a lot like asking a General what the troops want.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:06 pm
Going to see Martin Zellar play in Des Moines. So excited I can hardly hide the hard-on.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:07 pm
@jl: Don’t be silly, they have no sinister agenda – they are part of the God-Fearing, Real American coalition being oppressed by evil, godless hippies. No GOPer is gonna be demonizing them. Only all things Feminazi draw their ire.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:08 pm
Furnace conked out.
Winter so far in NJ is pretty mild and I generally like it on the chilly side at home, so it’s not a serious emergency yet.
Just bummed about having to cough up some extra cash for repairs.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
@gene108: Some pretty good info here, maybe it’s something you could deal with?
February 25th, 2012 at 9:22 pm
@Chuck Butcher: First time I’d ever heard of this exact bill in MN I must admit, so I can’t help with details. But I had similar thoughts after FL passed or modified its gun laws some years back. Just always seemed odd some would entirely back and justify killing a grown-up person that posed a perceived threat while forbidding killing a parasitic person that posed an actual threat. Also got me wondering if maybe one self-aborted with a firearm it would then be ok in their eyes. Yes, I’ve got a weird imagination in many ways.
I so beyond expecting legislation to make any sense at the moment. I will point at the spectacle and laugh when I can manage it.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:24 pm
@scav:
When you consider that they can't seem to see the disconnect between "pro-life" and pro-death penalty (a considerably more direct and cold-blooded action) such things as self-defense really pale.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:29 pm
@lamh35:
“all i can say is it involves a funnel.”
February 25th, 2012 at 9:38 pm
@Raven: Thin Mints. That’s where it’s at.
February 25th, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Samoas!!
February 25th, 2012 at 10:04 pm
@Amir Khalid: yeh, did this in college in ROTC, not my choice and quit shortly. It works but is truly pointless. Also only works for certain kinds of shoes.
February 25th, 2012 at 10:15 pm
@Zagloba:
watched that about 3 months ago. fairly hard to take. it was pretty offensive, and while i wasn’t personally offended, i found little of merit in it. if there was an allegory, it escaped me, but i’m not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
February 25th, 2012 at 10:18 pm
@FuriousPhil:
According to the “jokes” from my younger brothers’ BSA days, blackmail the pedophile scoutmasters caught pleasuring themselves while peeping into the latrines. This was 40 years ago, in case anyone still believes stuff like that was invented by degenerate progressives during the Clinton Administration.
In actual fact, the parish troops in the 1960s/70s hit up local business for “donations” to demonstrate their customer-pleasing community instincts. And a lot of the most egregiously authoritarian Scoutmasters & district leaders were dedicated little Babbitts who loved nothing so much as getting together and throwing ‘fund raising’ dinners trying to one-up each other, so that worked fairly well. The modern BSA is turning into a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Mormon, I mean, LDS church, which I guess is taking the community concept national.
February 25th, 2012 at 10:21 pm
do the girl scouts still make gauchos? those were my weakness.
February 25th, 2012 at 10:23 pm
@lamh35:
Somewhere in Miss Manners’ first book is a section, complete with line-engraved illustration, demonstrating the polite way to turn down a Presidential dinner invitation because the date conflicts with one’s bowling night. If only someone on Brewer’s staff had a sense of humor…
February 25th, 2012 at 10:25 pm
I have a far more interesting life according to you lot. I don’t even know where one would buy the pot.
February 26th, 2012 at 2:04 am
@gene108:
Re your furnace—it’s possible replacement or major repairs are covered under your homeowner’s insurance. My in-laws discovered this and ended up getting a new furnace installed for free. It was a nice surprise.
February 26th, 2012 at 8:36 am
@Applejinx: analinguette – this word must go everywheres
! Must become as popular as Santorum
But for different reasons (which I’ll think of later…)
February 26th, 2012 at 3:19 pm