First they came for the thin mints…
This is preposterous:
Rep. Bob Morris, R-Fort Wayne, sent a letter to Indiana House Republicans on Saturday explaining why he was the only member in the chamber not to sign onto a resolution last week celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts.
The resolution applauded the group “for the strong positive influence it has had on the American woman.”
Morris said he did some Web-based research and found allegations that the Girl Scouts are a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood, that they allow transgender
females to join, “just like any real girl,” and encourage sex.Morris also said the fact that first lady Michelle Obama is honorary president “should give each of us reason to pause before our individual and collective endorsement of the organization.”
This is the problem with the idiots in the Republican party: they get their news from email chains. The sorts of email chains that show up in your inbox bearing subject headers like “Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: OMG HES BLACK”. Emails that are passed around in Teabilly back-channels and are not supposed to be seen by the public. Emails for which Republicans issue “mistakes were made”-type apologies once the public gets its hands on them. E-mails which (former) presidential candidates assume contain facts.
We’re talking emails with photos of Obama with a bone through his nose; photos with a watermelon patch on the White House lawn; birther screeds; screeds about lady sluts using abortion for birth control; and of course, screeds about Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move Program turning young people into socialists, and the Girl Scouts turning girls into transgendered lesbians.
This is your Republican party, future lesbian aborters and gentlemen.
Welcome to Crazy. All are welcome. Just grab a computer, log in to www.republicantalkingpoints.blargh and let your imagination do the rest.
UPDATE: Commenter Doug rightfully points out that I should refute, not simply mock. As such, here’s a link to a page containing facts that will refute “Thin mints make you gay and cause abortions” talking points. Thanks for the link, Doug.
[cross-posted at ABLC]
Martin
You know why those cookies are so good? They’re filled with gayness.
Bulworth
Yeah, but he’s done research. On the intertubes.
slag
I was at the dog park over the weekend and came to a startling realization: When it comes to the pursuit of crotch and asshole sniffing, your average canine has got nothing on your average House Republican in either zeal or thoroughness. Though, in this case, Morris is more a cat’s name. Oh well…a little thematic dissonance never hurt anybody.
jibeaux
Wait a minute. I think I’ve figured out what this was all about! It’s all connected….
gnomedad
The target audience doesn’t even care whether these things are true. Being bad stuff about Obama and libruls makes them true. And they’ll continue to believe it after “apologies” are issued.
Brian S
Wait–that picture clearly shows fangs. Why are we not being told the truth about the threat of Girl Scout Vampires?
dmsilev
I’m still confused about the ‘tactical arm of Planned Parenthood’. I have this image of a SWAT van pulling up next to a pregnant woman, a team of Scouts pouring out and dragging the poor woman into the van, and then it’s off to the Planned Parenthood Abortionplex for you know what.
And if there’s an area that resists, they call in SAC, the Strategic Abortion Command.
Scott
@Brian S:
Not just Girl Scout Vampires. Girl Scout Lesbian Abortion Transgender Blackity Vampires.
PurpleGirl
The Girl Scouts have made their mission to be the empowerment of girls to become the best women they can be. I believe Juliette Gordon Low would be very proud of how her organization is able to change to reflect its time, place and needs.
Bulworth
Well, Planned Parenthood is setting up these gigantic abortion mills, built with taxpayer money, no doubt. I read all about in an amazing news-source called The Onion.
Hal
That cartoon is great. The Girl Scouts should change their logo.
jheartney
I’d love to see this story do a breakout into the general media environment. I’ve seen it, of course, on the last three lefty blogs I clicked on, but the real win would be if you could get it on the network morning shows. It would be a great fit there – “Are those Girl Scout cookies you’re buying part of a communist plot? An Indiana legislator thinks they are. Details after the break.”
Herbal Infusion Bagger
I frickin’ wish that the Boy Scouts were like the Girl Scouts, instead of a wholly owned subsidiary of the LDS and the Catholic Church that discriminates against atheists and gays. I’d be happy to have my son be in a co-ed version of the Girl Scouts, but am very ambivalent about the Boy Scouts.
(And no, there’s not really viable alternatives nearby: the Buy Scouts have a lot of social and physical infrastructure that the alternatives can’t match, except for 4-H, which doesn’t have a branch nearby.)
Bubblegum Tate
I’ve found that MyRightWingDad is both interesting and a good running tally of wingnut talking points. Seriously, that site tracks with wingnut blogs to a scary degree. Speaking of scary, the content is…well, it’s funny because it’s so stupid, but it’s sad because people believe it and it’s so stupid. This picture made me laugh, then I laughed again because wingnuts actually cheer for that kind of shit, then I got depressed because wingnuts actually cheer for that kind of shit.
Poopyman
DON’T FUCK WITH MY THIN MINT DEALERS!
Democratic Nihilist, Keeper Of Party Purity
@dmsilev: Um, they really believe that happens, hate to be the one to tell you.
MomSense
It feels like all that is left of the Republican party are people who went off their meds against the advice of their physicians.
Brian S
@Scott: That sounds like a very special episode of Blossom.
Joseph Nobles
I really want to see the new Abortion and Lesbian Lifestyles merit badges.
Raven
After a long weekend in Berkeley and the Bay area with old friends it’s great to drop 12 buck in wifi to read about this shit!
Herbal Infusion Bagger
“You know why those cookies are so good? They’re filled with gayness.”
Meh. Beating up on the ghey is so 2004. It’s transgenders that are going to be part of the current GOP five minute hate, along with public workers with their generous benefits (just look at them, flaunting their Hyundais at us), women with contraceptive pills (the filthy sluts), and, of course, teh Meksicans.
jibeaux
@Bulworth: You know, no one but me seemed to catch it, but for me the giggliest detail of that whole thing was that the AbortionPlex cost 8 BILLION dollars. A guy who ostensibly deals with federal budget numbers as part of his job was taken in by the idea that a clinic could cost 8 billion dollars. You can really start to understand how they believe we could balance the budget and pay off all our debt if we just cut the waste, fraud, and abuse!
Nina
Ah, as a Girl Scout mom I can finally reveal what happens at those campouts! Yes, there is massive amounts of satanism baked into every cookie, and when we force the girls to go hiking we are actually making them into atheist Islamicist lesbians! It’s so comforting to finally be able to admit the truth.
Martin
@Herbal Infusion Bagger: Did you know the Peanut Butter Patties used to be Peanut Butter Peters?
Democratic Nihilist, Keeper Of Party Purity
@Herbal Infusion Bagger: Didn’t used to be that way. I had a great time in the Scouts back in the day. They simply allowed (and from everything I’ve been able to find, which isn’t much, it was voluntary) themselves to be “steeplejacked”. I expect there was quite a bit of Mormon money involved.
The organizational structure of the Boy Scouts made it pretty amenable to such a takeover, making it easy to get rid of dissenting troops and councils.
Benjamin Franklin
@Raven:
Massive anti-climax…
JCT
Every time I walk past a card table set up with Girl Scouts and cookies here in BATSHIT CRAZY Arizona I feel like asking them how they feel about being demonized like this by their “friends” the Republicans.
But then I feel sorry for the little girls who, just like all females when it comes to the GOP are being used as little pawns in a game of psychotic chicken and I hold my tongue and buy more cookies.
Really, I hope that SOMEONE connects all the dots on the GOPs plans for girls from childhood through their “breeding” time and then, well, they can just die off because who the fuck cares.
scav
Wait a minute, what about the flavor-enhancing fetus powder discovered in OK recently? Does it all tie together in a neat circle of cookie-based-deviousness?
harlana
SC trying to introduce a law similar to what was being discussed yesterday – employers denying coverage for treatments/procedures (not just birth control) that offends their “conscience”
Rosalita
I just finished reading Benen’s post about this. I’m still speechless.
litbrit
@Poopyman: You beat me to it. Fuck with my chocolate ANYTHING, and it’s war.
#GodWhatsWRONGwithThesePeople
MariedeGournay
Tracking the ressentiment of homophobic woman-haters is getting exhausting.
Chris
@Herbal Infusion Bagger:
This.
Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
These people would be jokes if they weren’t so dangerous. They’re dangerous because they’re unreasonable, by which I mean that they don’t reason. They don’t think. They believe.
There was a thing on Lawrence O’Donnell’s show last night about Santorum saying that Obama never says “freedom of religion,” only “freedom of worship,” which to Santorum, is a much narrower freedom. O’Donnell, then playes a clip of Obama saying how important “freedom of religion” is in the U.S., and O’Donnell said that if Santorum wants to claim that, he needs to be sure that that tape of Obama doesn’t exist, and the 2 guys on with him went along with that. And I’m just some random bozo blog commenter, but I knew that they were all wrong about that as soon as they said it.
It doesn’t matter to Santorum if Obama has spoken about “freedom of religion”. It doesn’t matter to people who vote for Santorum if Obama has spoken about “freedom of religion”. You can show them that very clip, and they’ll look you in the eye and tell you that Obama never talks about, has never talked about, “freedom of religion”.
And likewise with this guy from Indiana. You can’t convince this guy with facts. Facts don’t matter. Whether something is true or not doesn’t matter to this guy. It’s true even if it isn’t true, and it always will be.
One of the big weaknesses on our side is that, since we tend to give a lot of weight to whether things are true or not, we back up our claims and defend our beliefs by appealing to facts: This is true; that is not. I can prove that a-b-c happened and that 1-2-3 did not.
This doesn’t work with conservatives. They don’t care if a-b-c is true and 1-2-3 isn’t they’ll keep on believing 1-2-3 and swear to the day they die that a-b-c is a dirty lie. It’s why Newt Gingrich is a committed “family values” kind of guy. He cheats on his wives, but that only matters to us. To us, that’s evidence of the kind of two-faced liar he is. To conservatives, that’s irrelevant. He’s a family values kind of guy because he is, and nothing he does will ever change their minds.
If we’re going to beat these people over the long run, we have to find a way to win the argument with them, and it’ll never come from having the right “facts” or from our argument being “truthful” or from showing them “proof” or “evidence”. I’ve touted Bob Altmeyer’s book The Authoritarians more than once here, but I’ll do it again now, since we desperately need to understand the kind of people who are lined up on the other side here politically, and we desperately need to understand how they–for lack of a better word–think.
Mark S.
@jibeaux:
I didn’t notice that the first time I read it. Yeah, Cowboys Stadium “only” cost $1.15 billion, so it must be able to do like 80,000 abortions a day.
Chris
@Herbal Infusion Bagger:
Don’t tell Chris Christie.
Rosalita
@slag:
LOL. I’m saving this.
harlana
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): they’re brainwashed – even people who claim to be independents (whom i generally refer to as mostly embarrassed republicans) have been brainwashed by the MSM over decades. there is NOTHING, short of intensive deprogramming and re-education, that can be done. and i’m not trying to be hyperbolic or snarky, i’m dead serious – this republican race is empirical proof of same.
AkaDad
I see this as a good thing, since I normally make my whores wear Girl Scout uniforms.
Russ
My sister recieves these emails from fellow right wing and very religious freinds and the comment was made to me the other day when I mentioned high gas prices, “yeah, Obama voted against the pipeline from Canada and now we have to pay more for gas”.
Well, that explains it…
AliceBlue
Christ almighty. I’m white but I CANNOT WAIT until this country is majority black/brown/yellow/red, for the simple reason that the Republican party will cease to exist.
capt
I see a future where current girl scouts will all be democrats.
And the cookies will still be good!
ABL 2.0
@Martin: you win the internet.
slag
@Rosalita: Seriously. I don’t have any dogs so I’m not familiar with the science regarding their utter fascination with crotches and assholes, but I’m actually wondering whether or not that science could also be applied to Republicans. The similarities are uncanny. It’s like seeing Old Yeller in the pattern of your congressperson’s receding hairline.
ABL 2.0
@harlana: the samoas are made from baby samoans.
i read about it on the internet somewhere.
Amir Khalid
@Mark S.:
I’m constantly amazed that in America city funds are used to help pay for stadium owned by professional teams and/or the very rich people who own the teams. As far as I know, this doesn’t happen in European football, where a big club either raises private funds to build its own stadium or pays rent to the city for a public one.
Rick Massimo
OK, next time someone tries to act all innocent and “What do you MEAN Republicans are racists?” the most obvious answer is “What the FUCK did Michelle Obama ever do to anybody that she gets slurred and slandered every fucking day over such ‘controversial’ stands as backing the Girl Scouts and saying kids should eat right and exercise?”
Honestfuckingly.
maya
The repo from Fort Wayne ,(would that be John or Gacy?) will not be satisfied until the Girl Scouts are replaced by the Morris Youth.
The Other Chuck
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
It appeals to my lizard brain to think “if those idiots won’t see reason, by golly I’ll beat it into them”, but in the end, it really is truth that wins out. If you fight on only their terms of emotional language and force, you not only “stoop to their level”, you’re also ceding home turf. The old adage about wrestling with a pig comes to mind.
Truth is the greatest weapon you can have — what isn’t enough is to simply be reactive, and simply pull out refutations every time one of them tells a whopper. What needs to happen is to make what you stand for so glaringly self-evident that the other side needs to come up with damn good justifications for tearing it down before anyone can even hear them. Moral truths (not logically sound, but good enough for rhetoric) like universal health care being on an equal footing with fire and police protection. Or the rights of two adults of sound mind and any sex to marry each other. You don’t justify these by playing tit-for-tat, you put them out there and defy anyone to prove otherwise.
Yes, you still have to the grinding work of shooting down erroneous assertions day after day. But it has to go further than that; you have to stake your own claim to the truth. When the American Revolution happened, the document justifying it had a number of specific allegations of misconduct in it, but nowhere did it try to look like a legalistic rebuttal of George’s claim on the colonies. It led in after a short preamble with “We hold these truths to be self-evident” and proceeded to lay down a bold claim to a system of natural law (albeit incomplete) that no one in this country dares frontally attack to this day.
cmorenc
@ABL:
I accidentally managed to get myself included in one of these right-wing email chainlists when I ran into an old friend of mine from childhood whom I lost contact with after college 35+ years ago. We’ve had a couple of beers in person a couple of times since then, but have mostly stayed in contact by email; because I was myself a similar-minded winger (version circa 1970) when he last knew me, he presumed I was still like-minded in 2010 (even though we never got around to discussing politics recently in person), and included me in a chain list that swaps around some decently funny nonpolitical jokes and personal stories about people we both know, but also right-wing chain emails of the type we’re talking about in this thread.
I’ve decided to maintain my silence about having long gone over firmly to the progressive side as long as I can get away with it, because all I’ll accomplish by responding with any facts or counterargument is to get cut off the list; don’t argue with fenceposts and all that. It’s more valuable to maintain it as a window into their mindset and what sorts of notions they’re being stirred up into at any given time. Every time I get another one that’s politically loaded, it’s analogous to seeing a video of a bad car crash; there’s a mixture of interested fascination and horror in my reaction, I can grumble about the stupidity behind what caused it, but nevertheless it’s hard to make myself simply look away and ignore it. The political road ahead for this country is full of these idiot drivers drunk on right-wing ideology, stupidity and wilful ignorance, and they are threatening to run us all off the road and flipped into a ditch if they get control of the highways.
rikryah
these mofos better step back and away from my Thin Mints.
but honestly, they are crazy. they a sociopathic misogynists.
JCT
@ABL 2.0:
Oh jeez, soon to come to a wingnut email near you.
@Russ: This pipeline and gas prices nonsense was on heavy rotation on Faux News the *minute* the improving employment numbers were posted.
Joseph Nobles
@Rick Massimo: Out of the many THIS awards being passed out today, you’re in the top 10, dude.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
This story ought to be great with my FB friends: Conservative, with children in Girl Scouts.
El Cid
Okay, countdown to this lawmaker being caught drunk driving his illegal immigrant lover’s car and running down people coming out of the Catholic priests’ drag club so that he isn’t caught with the children he just molested which he met through his tweeting obscene pictures via his pages’ SUPERPAC contacts in the Cayman islands.
rb
@Herbal Infusion Bagger: Yeah, I’m an eagle scout, but if I had a son I wouldn’t let him join BSA (I hear you on the lack of alternatives local to you, though, and no judgement. You gotta do what you gotta do.)
rb
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): Well here’s hoping they’re more thoughtful than some I know. Some of my acquaintances would be just as likely to think – ‘OMG, I didn’t know the Girl Scouts was a tactical arm of PP’ – and yank their daughters out. I couldn’t circulate this story to them, on the principle that punishing their daughters would be unfair.
Comrade Dread
I’ve noticed that everything is a conspiracy in conservative news.
Like it’s never enough to oppose a law, like mandating health care, and assume that the actor proposing it is rational and honestly believes that he’s doing what is best. No, it’s always part of a plot by the enemy to destroy America by cackling minions of Satan.
And it’s never enough to simply say, “I don’t agree with this policy of this particular local chapter of Girl Scouts to allow transgendered kids into troops, because of reasons 1, 2, and 3.”
It’s always, the Girl Scouts are secretly plotting to turn your kids gay and taking them away to lesbian camps for indoctrination into the secret cult of Cthulu to form his army for when he rises on Dec. 22nd, 2012, which you can clearly see because if you take the numerical value of the letters in the word “Thin Mint” translated into Summerian, it adds up to 666, which is also the value of the name Cthulu when translated into ancient Hebrew. So every cookie you buy is bringing the madness closer.
Bruce S
I have suspected for years that the Girl Scouts is a plot to kill me with those sweet smiles fronting their goddam deadly delicious cookies, but the rest of this stuff they’re accused of sounds fine. I guess I should stop yelling at them when they tempt me with their death-cookies on the street.
harlana
with this crowd, following this “revelation”, i’d keep those cookie-selling little girls off the streets for their own safety.
Linnaeus
@Comrade Dread:
Say the word with me: It begins with “f”.
Bruce S
“It feels like all that is left of the Republican party are people who went off their meds against the advice of their physicians.”
Or perhaps on the advice of clergy.
kay
I think this is a preemptive lie on the part of Republicans and religious conservatives, because it is common knowledge around here that Boy Scouts have been completely captured by religious conservatives and Republicans.
It’s a shame, really. I’m not sure the original intent of that organization was to be a Very Young Republicans branch or franchise, but it is, here, anyway.
harlana
@Bruce S: see, lately they’ve been spiking them with “baby-killing, gay, liberal” flour which turns you into a hellbound, homicidal “fascist”! oh, they have their ways, my friends, they have their ways.
Bruce S
Honestly harlana, I’m just worried about my fucking cholesterol. Had not even considered the depths of a possible conspiracy.
Paul in KY
@dmsilev: Didja know Stategic Abortion Command is located in a shielded bunker 5 miles below Mt. Alice B. Toklas (in San Francisco).
Paul in KY
@Poopyman: Dude, someone has to tell you: You’re on them bad, man. When you start dissolving your thin mints in water & injecting them between your toes, I think it’s time to seek help…
Paul in KY
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): It’s ‘The Big Lie’ of a 1000 tiny cuts.
Paul in KY
@cmorenc: When they put out some anti-Obama dreck, you can at least respond with ‘I like the guy’ or something like that. You have to represent.
West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)
I wonder if any Republican party-faithful are embarrassed by this clown. As a progressive Dem., I was rather put off by that lawmaker who dressed up in a leopard outfit last year (can’t recall his name now). At least he had the excuse of probably just needing some deep counseling as opposed to a guy spouting off from a position of fearful hatred and ignorance.
Everytime I hear the term “Girl Scouts,” I always think of that line from The Adams Family when Wednesday Adams is asked, “Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?”
“Are they made with real Girl Scouts?”
Paul in KY
@Comrade Dread: IMO, it is a form of narcicism: I’m so special that the government is plotting against little ole me. I’m so special that all these intricate conspiracies are aimed at stopping my brand of special.
Either that, or they think sitcoms & shows like CSI Miami are basicaly documentaries on how it is today in America.
Paul in KY
@harlana: Make sure their skirts are safely below the knee. No holding hands either.
harlana
@Bruce S: i read (in an email!) that this practice started a few years ago, so if you’ve been getting GS cookies the last few years, you are already doomed! who cares about cholesterol, what about your SOUL?!
RalfW
@Martin:
Mmmmmmmm, gayness.
Poopyman
@Paul in KY: I can quit ’em anytime I want, I swear.
@Comrade Dread:
Yes. Chocolatey minty madness!
FlipYrWhig
@Comrade Dread: The fact that it’s a secret plot is also why the truth only circulates via email, never in public.
I just have a hard time comprehending the gullibility of these jackasses. You’re that hungry to believe bullshit that you’ll swallow anything you see on email, seriously? This is how exiled Nigerian princes got rich in the first place.
Brachiator
@Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):
Thanks for the reference. There appears to be a free pdf version of this book on the InterTubes. I will not provide a link, since I am not sure whether this link is valid. They work also appears to be available at amazon and elsewhere.
opie jeanne
@harlana: The state of Washington seems to be going the other way, about to pass a law requiring health care providers to pay for abortion.
Paul in KY
@FlipYrWhig: There’s a nice lady who works with me & got taken by the Nigerian scam. This one was a preacher & God-talked her into ‘donations’.
She was in a bad place as her beloved husband had died young & he was the ‘man who told everyone what to do’ & she seemed lost. Sad story.
She claims to be a Democrat, but she’s susceptible (IMO) to religious hooee tryimg to get her to vote Repub.
Schlemizel
@Herbal Infusion Bagger:
Check out local troops. The one my son was in made no bones about not requiring religion and did not tolerate bullying of any members. It was a great experience & my son loved it. I worked as a troop leader for about 4-5 years and discovered that the higher up you went in BSA the worse things got. Local troops could be nasty but generally were not.
My daughter was never interested in GS but they have been on my donation list for a few years. They are a decent organization & anything that helps girls deal with the world as well as they appear to deserves more support.
Schlemizel
@Bruce S:
I stopped buying the cookies years ago. The girls get only a tiny portion of the proceeds. I always write them a check for $5 or $10 (depending on how many girls I have to do this for a year)with a note: “in lieu of cookies”. The troop gets more money & I don’t get any fatter.
Brachiator
@Schlemizel:
Really? This is the claim made by the Girl Scouts:
If anyone knows that this is not the case, they need to provide links, not anecdotes.
dww44
@Paul in KY: But if he does, they will cut him off. That’s what happened to me. I’ve gobs of right wing family and friends. I’ve countered so many of them that they won’t send me any anymore, because honestly a couple of them were forwarding stuff they were sent and when I “replied all” they felt like I made them look bad. Which I suppose is true. The fact of the matter is that after only 1 generation here in the RED Southland the majority of folks assume that if one’s skin is WASPy, then one just HAS to be a Republican.
So, one can stand on principle as I did, but just maybe Cmorenc is on to something. He’s got a stronger constitution than I. I couldn’t suffer those things in silence.
dww44
Re this discussion of Girl Scouts, I find it humorous to the nth degree that the organization and its founder were domiciled in Savannah, Ga. There’s a segment trying to rewrite that in the history books in these parts.
The Other Chuck
Oh my god buttery goodness, the c͜h̀òc͘ola͜t̀e̴ it melts, my B̢́L̵͢҉̸͡O̢̡͞͏O̷͠D̨̛́ sugar th̴e scouts̛ rin͞g͡i̕ng͟ ͘o͡n ͠my̵ ͜d͡oo̶rb̡e̶ĺl ͠i shall s̈́̄̍ͨ̿̃hͫ́aͦͨͩ̀͋͐̆̕l̔̔l̡͋̔ͦ̂ ͟È̑̄̍̃̓A̅ͭ͛̄ͥͤ҉Tͪ̚ Tͭ̿ͣ̀Hͫ̑ͧ̽͂E͆͌͗̓̚ ͯͬ̂ͮͨ͒C̵O͂ͪ̔Ȍ͑͡K̴̾I̐ͮͣ̍ͮE̋ ̀͆ͮͣͯ̔͒T̸ḦA̿̂ͧ̽T̢͐ͧͨͮ̿ ̔͂͋ͦEͬͪ̾̕ŃͩͨDSͨ ̛̾͐ͧ͋̾͒Cͩ̃̇̓́ͤͩ͜R̐E̛̽ͮA͂ͦ̈́̈́̈́̉T̶ͦ̂̓̐̎I̎̌͐́͛ͤǪ̽̃ͯͯ͌N̏̄ ̿ n̒̎͛̚͝oͥͨ͆ ̄Nͪ͝O̓̌͝ ̑NͥͧͦȮ ͌̒͒̈́Ĩ ̾̓ͩ͘cͧ͌ͬ̓̐̓͛an͘ h̵ͨͤ̉̐̓͋e͒ͦ̽͊͆ͤ̚a͟rͫ̃ ̈tͥh̾ͣ̾è̌͊̀̔͏ ̇͒͢S̏̂͝a̿̑͆̉͏m̉̾̒̈́̈́ͯͬo̒ͤͨ̓̚aͨ͘nş͊̑̊ͣ ͑͛̎̿͂͗c̷ͩa̐ͯͧ̆ͯͯ͜ĺ̂͢l̽ͨ̿ͪi̿̽̾ͥ́̎n̡g̍ͮͥͭ̈́ ̓̅͛J̢̛̙͉͓̥ͪͮ͑̆ͥ̅̊̃̒̃͘͡Ű̴̃͊̊̓ͩ̅͘҉̨̫̭͎̱̹L̴͔̖̙͓̬̬̖͕̘̲̮̬̈́̉̽ͬ̏̅͑ͭͬ̐̍̕͢I̢̱͔̻͇̥̦̳̺̤̳͚͙̱̠̓̒̿̃ͮ̔̾ͣͮ̉̃ͅḜ̅̇̂̇͆́͋ͯ̚͟͟͏͓̬̟̤̱̪̣͉̹̮̞̹̩͟Ṫ̉̅̀ͩ̇̊̓̎̓̊͐͗ͤ́ͩͧ́̽҉̨͈͖̫̘̪͇̗̝̗̭͖͕̻T̵̸ͮ͐̈͛ͤ̂ͨͣ̈́̈́̋ͤ̏̑ͬ̋̀҉̣̖͈̣̤̫̹̝͙͕̘͇ͅE̴̸͕̘̱̰̰͙̟̲̞͑ͯͦ̍̾̃̊ͫ̅ͩ͊͞ ̷͈̗̫̦̊ͫͤ̒̆͛͐̉̒̎ͭͤͣ̌ͯ͢G̴̤̩̘̱̺̰̱̼̜͎͂̈̆ͫͦ͆ͤ̏̑͘O̡̘̪̝͙̜̦̱̼̘͉͓̦̪͓͎̮̗ͦͨ̏͒ͨ̕͢͞ͅR̷̸̰̻̦̗͎̝̖͋͌͛̈́ͮͯ̿͐̾͘͜ͅD̵̶͚̻̭̟͎̣͓̰͇̰̣̱̩͍̫̠̬̍̽̉́̀ͯ̈̅ͥ̂͢͡O̧ͦͫ͆̈́҉̷̞̪͇͍N̨̤͍̲̙ͦ͌̈́̈̈̃͊̌̋͋̉ͫͫͭͮ̆́̂͛͢͟ ̶̧͕͚̟̭̣̜̣͚̱͖̪͉ͥ̊̄̀̐̏̿̊͂̍̅͂͡ͅL̴̩̺͉̘͇̦̱̤͓͈̞̠͉̟̱̫̆̓ͫͩ̾̽͐ͣͩ̌ͨ̅̇̿ͦ͘O̵̢͖̗͓͇̝͚̣͈̘̹̻̞͙͉̦̘̘̜̒ͬ̒̈͒͑͋ͫͦ͆̀ͭͤ̆͑ͫ͊̀̕͜W̥̫̺̮̱̤̓̆͒̅̍̃̇͗͛ͣ̀͢͟ ̶̘͍̮̜̫̥̲̭͖̗̥̻̬̜̠̣̗̟̭́̈́̎̑ͮ̐ͧ̕Iͯͮ̔̍̔́̂̌̌ͭ̀҉̝̗̱͚S̸̨͎̲͖̥͕̣̠̯͔̥̤̗͕̻͖̺͙̒̄̐͊̀͜͡ ̨͈̺̮ͬͩ̄ͥ̽ͩ͘͘Ž͙̯͚͉̘͖̮͖̥͉͈ͬ͒͗ͤ̂̆̏͢͞A̧̐̑ͯͥͩ͆̀҉̜͈̗͕̪̳͔̱̪́͞ͅĻ̺̤͉̞͇̭̳̪̹͙͆́̆ͪ̇̑͊͒̔̇̉̿́ͤ̎̉ͮͦ̕͜͞ͅG̢͚̺͕̦̋͗̅ͪ̽͆͂̕͟Ŏ̶̻̖̝̮̜̤͍͈̲̩͙͇̗̬͕͉͋͐̌̅͋́ͭ̊ͫ̓́ͣͪ̚ͅ ̸̴̶͇̤̱͖͌̔̍͌̑̿̒́̕I̐ͬ̎ͩͤ͐̏̏̽͝͏̳̗͎̦̤͈͍̠̥̤̭S̶̵̰̞̞̞̦̜͉̲̹̤̙͐̐̂͊ͫ̅̓ͭ̾͆͢ ̵͉̤̩̮͉̳̲̫̎ͭ̾ͯḦ̷ͣͧ̌͑ͯͭ͏̷̤͕̭͍̱͎͕͕̮͘Ě̂ͣ̅̌ͣ̄ͬ͌ͨ̅̚͜҉̝̗̖͚̺̘̰̝̰͙̪̜̖̝̩͓̯̪͡ ̶̢͓̰̹̟̘̰̻͈̻́͊ͩ̃ͭ͑̓ͤ͗̄͌̒ͧͭ̄ͤ͢C̸͇̯͈̜̲̦͔͈̜̥͚ͩ͛ͮ̐̍́͢͢͞O̢̙̝̦͕͈̼̮̹̯̗͓̮̘̳̲͉̔͛ͦ̍̄͐ͣ̕͡ͅM͚̫̫̲͔̮̭̟̱̩̯͙̹̣̯̞͈̻̒̋̉̓͑̆͐̉̉ͩͮ̚͡͞ͅEͬ̇̍̓̂̑͒̔͗́ͣ̍̀͗̔̆̔̚҉̷̷͎̻̹͓̕͟S̡͈̺̺͉̩̰ͥͮͤ̇ͯ͗ͥ̐ͥͥͦ̓̎̋̋̎ͣ̒͝
Paul in KY
@dww44: I was just saying to indicate you are not a hater of him, in a bland way. Certainly, I didn’t mean to unload both barrels on them (which I have done & you are correct, no more emails).
If you were bland & vague & they still did that, then I guess you need to be quiet as a chuch mouse so you can get your emails.
harlana
@opie jeanne: good for WA!
Doug
ABL, I wish that instead of reprinting and mocking, you would spend a few minutes refuting. Like this: http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/g/Girl-Scouts-UN.htm. Not criticism but this has to be done each and everytime. It’s tiresome I know but necessary.
StarStorm
@The Other Chuck:
Zalgo’s a pussy.
@Doug:
One thinks that sometimes, mocking is the best thing one can do. It keeps one sane.
ABL 2.0
@Doug: updated. excellent point.
ABL 2.0
@cmorenc: you’re made of stronger stuff than. i don’t have the gastrointestinal fortitude to lurk like that.
DanielX
Hey, this is Indiana, and Morris is minor league. After all, Dan “Shooting at Pumpkins” Burton has been in Congress since 1983 and Mike Pence will probably be the next governor, god help us. This state takes a back seat to no one when it comes to bringing teh crazy.
Original Lee
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): Oh, yeah. I knew this was on the way when last month I had to reassure a coworker who has finally let his daughter join Girl Scouts. His daughter was going to a weekend-long workshop on conflict resolution that included an overnight lock-in at a high school gym. He asked me what this would involve, and I had to convince him it was not going to include recruitment into the ranks of the Feminist Lesbian Army. He says his relatives have told him about a secret handbook that troop leaders get where we indoctrinate the girls into the liberal pro-abortion and gay sex agenda. He wasn’t sure what to say when I told him I’ve been a troop leader for almost 10 years and have yet to clap eyes on any secret handbook. *Sigh*
Original Lee
@Brachiator: Each Council sets its own policies as to how much the girls get from cookie sales. My particular council sells the cookies for $4/box, and the girls can get $0.65, $0.70, or $0.73 per box, depending on whether or not they want “prizes” and whether or not they can break the 1,000-box mark. I can’t give you a link because the Cookie Mom handbook is in dead tree format.
Brachiator
@Original Lee:
You should have at least showed him a page.
What I don’t get is this: why would Lesbionic Girl Scouts need birth control? Why would they even care?
Original Lee
@Brachiator: They’re supposed to trap good Christian boys into marriage and then deny them the Arrows of God (offspring, preferably male warrior types) to which they are entitled. All those bridge club afternoons are really for sex and passing on the newest agenda items.
Darkrose
Looking at this picture, I realize I was cheated. Where were my vampire lesbian Girl Scout sisters?!
Not Sure
Refute? Naah! Crank it up to 11! Make up something really, and I mean REALLY, outrageous. Preposterous. Patently false. Easily ‘refutable,’ embarrassingly so, as if it matters to these people.
Email it to all the people your racist uncle inadvertently forgot to bcc last time he sent you some racist shit. Add a few people from your regular address book as a control. The goal – to make THEM call bullshit on YOU. Or at least, see how many of them email you back with “hell yeah!” If you get your own made-up fake RW screed back a month later, you know you’ve won the game.
Herbal Infusion Bagger
So how come the LDS didn’t do a similar steeplejacking of the Girl Scouts? Were the Girl Scouts organizationally stronger, was their organization less prone to getting hijacked, or did the LDS just Not Give A Shit about a girl’s organization?
Stentor
Bob Morris the Indiana Man with the glass pants. Why, you ask? Because, obviously, we can see he’s nuts.
Honestly, I’ve seen pictures of this guy with his buzzcut hairdo. I think they took some of his brains off the top when they cut his hair.