Newt Gingrich Secures All Important “Barrens Chat” Vote with Key Chuck Norris Endorsement
Was he this much of a clown in the 70’s (Chuck, not Newt):
For my wife, Gena, and I, we sincerely believe former Speaker Newt Gingrich is the answer to most of those questions and deserves our endorsement and vote.We agree with our friend and governor of the great state of Texas, Rick Perry, when he suspended his campaign and endorsed Gingrich, that Newt “has the heart of a conservative reformer.” We believe Newt’s experience, leadership, knowledge, wisdom, faith and even humility to learn from his failures (personal and public) can return America to her glory days. And he is the best man left on the battlefield who is able to outwit, outplay and outlast Obama and his campaign machine.
I may have let my nerd show in the title, so my apologies.
January 20, 2012 7:15 pm
Posted in: Energy Policy, Gamer Dork, Teabagger Stupidity
51 Comments
51 Responses
Martin - January 20, 2012 | 7:18 pm · Link
I think he took one too many of his own roundhouse kicks to the head.
pragmatism - January 20, 2012 | 7:19 pm · Link
will the creator of Survivor (TV, not the outstanding 80’s band)go after chuck for appropriating their slogan?
guachi - January 20, 2012 | 7:19 pm · Link
Best thread title on BJ. You so win…
Also, hope you are having fun with Star Wars MMO. I just downloaded it last week. Having loads of fun.
The Bobs - January 20, 2012 | 7:20 pm · Link
Playing video games does not make you a nerd John. You are much too normal to be one of us.
beltane - January 20, 2012 | 7:22 pm · Link
The past few days have been surreal, like we are passing through the event horizon into the wingularity. I’ve never seen anything like this before.
Steve - January 20, 2012 | 7:23 pm · Link
If anyone has seen the most recent WoW commercial starring Chuck Norris, the takeaway is that Chuck Norris looks incredibly old at this point. He could still beat you up, but I’m just saying, he could be Clint Eastwood’s dad.
Hungry Joe - January 20, 2012 | 7:25 pm · Link
He was probably every bit as bad a guy in the ‘70s, but only over time has he gotten in touch with his Inner Clown.
I interviewed him and his brother Aaron during the shooting of “Top Dog” (newspaper feature story; I didn’t assign ‘em, I just wrote ‘em), and Chuck came off as pretty sharp … compared to Aaron.
tulip - January 20, 2012 | 7:26 pm · Link
OT: But I really am starting to seriously hate the South. And I hope every single fucker that supports this sort of shit DIAF.
Can they even do this?
MikeBoyScout - January 20, 2012 | 7:27 pm · Link
Chuck Norris says Gnoot can “outlast Obama“.
What does Chuck Norris know about Gnoot that Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther Gingrich and Calista Bisek Gingrich don’t know?
Gnoot, the Gnu Viagra!
Spiffy McBang - January 20, 2012 | 7:27 pm · Link
Never apologize for referencing Barrens Chat. Never.
tulip - January 20, 2012 | 7:27 pm · Link
Humm, my link didn’t post in my comment.
Anyway:
http://www.startribune.com/nation/137790648.html
General Stuck - January 20, 2012 | 7:27 pm · Link
WoW, I just finished reading the Norris endorsement of Newt.
Who’d a thunk it. Thoroughly disgraced, and for good reason, former Speaker of the House Gingrich is being hoisted to presnit hopeful by aging wingnut movie stars, amongst others.
Newt it The Bottom of the Barrel candidate, and we should all have a moment of silence to mark his return from the assheap of hystery. It’s all win. Running against a three timing man whore with a dog whistle big as Texas. If he pulls it out and wins, we can all stop worrying, bend over and kiss our stupid asses goodbye. I hate complicated scenarios, and Newt brings the clear and present danger to the national screen.
Martin - January 20, 2012 | 7:32 pm · Link
@tulip:
No. But it’s entertaining that they keep trying.
Trooptrap Tripetrope - January 20, 2012 | 7:34 pm · Link
True story: In the mid-1970s Chuck Norris gave a martial arts presentation at the junior high school I was attending. The only part I recall is that he got one skinny, quiet kid to assist in demonstrating how Chuck could not be physically moved from a certain stance. The kid, with no martial arts experience whatsoever, knocked Chuck off his feet on the first try.
taylormattd - January 20, 2012 | 7:36 pm · Link
I need to start screenshotting trade chat on Garrosh.
Jesse - January 20, 2012 | 7:38 pm · Link
Bruce Lee >>>* Chuck Norris.
(*is incomparably greater than)
Newt Gingrich is in no way qualified to be president. Of anything, really.
That is all.
Sasha - January 20, 2012 | 7:38 pm · Link
Newt has “humility”?
Apparently, despite all his power Chuck Norris, still can’t defeat reality.
pragmatism - January 20, 2012 | 7:39 pm · Link
an acquaintance played in a co-ed softball league in northern california that chuck’s wife was in. he said it was hard to hit with chuck sitting in the bleachers. in person, he’s short and leathery.
Danny - January 20, 2012 | 7:42 pm · Link
Oh, Mitt. Also, Karl Marx was right.
Villago Delenda Est - January 20, 2012 | 7:43 pm · Link
Please pass on my gratz to Brisketus on that all important elevation to the lofty heights of level 14.
As for Garrosh, what can you say about a guy who acknowledges your charm bracelet gift with a grunt?
The vital Barrens Chat endorsement. There is no more important constituency than a bunch of lowbie Hordies who no longer need to find that guy’s wife, because you can’t get to the Southern Barrens on the ground anymore from the Crossroads.
This of course is no problem for 60+ toons with a flight license, of course.
Catsy - January 20, 2012 | 7:48 pm · Link
Why does anyone still care what Chuck Norris thinks? He made shitty movies and he’s not a particularly great martial artist. The In-Soviet-Russia-style Chuck Norris inversion jokes got tiresome and played out years ago, and those are really the only reason anyone under the age of 21 even remembers his name—most of whom haven’t even seen one of his movies. And his judgment on political issues is just garden-variety teabagger lunacy.
Seriously, who gives a shit? The only publicity he even gets anymore is from people who blog the political stupidity he craps out these days. Let him fade away into obscurity like every other washed-up has-been.
wasabi gasp - January 20, 2012 | 7:49 pm · Link
For a moment I thought he was coming out for open marriages.
Omnes Omnibus - January 20, 2012 | 7:54 pm · Link
@wasabi gasp: That was years ago.
RalfW - January 20, 2012 | 7:54 pm · Link
@Sasha:
Well, if you’re as self important and stupid as Chuck Norris, Newt may appear to have humility.
Heck.
I can’t figure it out. But why even bother. It’s not like what Chuck Norris says should matter one f*king iota.
Frankly, if Martin Sheen endorsed some Dem (for all I know, he has, not even bothering to google it), I wouldn’t care about that either. I mean, Sheen seems like a good guy, and I enjoyed West Wing immensely. But entertainers endorsing potential Preznits?
Boring on the left of me, pointless to the right, here I am.
WereBear (itouch) - January 20, 2012 | 7:54 pm · Link
It is the basic Republican love of ass kicking.
Villago Delenda Est - January 20, 2012 | 7:59 pm · Link
Let’s be upfront about this: Newt is not Chuck’s first choice.
That would be Huckabee.
Newt is sloppy seconds, at best.
Odie Hugh Manatee - January 20, 2012 | 8:09 pm · Link
Noot and humility are like water and oil, they will never combine unless you use an emulsifier like alcohol.
Drink up Noot, it might help!
Odie Hugh Manatee - January 20, 2012 | 8:10 pm · Link
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
I should have said gas instead of oil. Noot is full of gas anyway.
ruemara - January 20, 2012 | 8:10 pm · Link
I can’t tell you how often trade chat has swayed my choice of
presnitsfaction leaders. I think I’ll go level my huntard.middlewest - January 20, 2012 | 8:12 pm · Link
No one cares about Chuck Norris and his phony facts anymore. BRIAN BLESSED is where it’s at now. BRIAN BLESSED facts are true.
jayboat - January 20, 2012 | 8:16 pm · Link
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
Wonder what happens if you mix a little of that with some Santorum?
Yutsano - January 20, 2012 | 8:20 pm · Link
@jayboat: All I can say is I ain’t cleaning that up. :)
Odie Hugh Manatee - January 20, 2012 | 8:20 pm · Link
@jayboat:
You get a flaming, frothy mess. Touch a match to it and you get a flaming, frothy explosion! :)
WereBear (itouch) - January 20, 2012 | 8:21 pm · Link
@middlewest: Brian Blessed Rules!
Odie Hugh Manatee - January 20, 2012 | 8:22 pm · Link
@Yutsano:
Agreed. Not even with a hazmat suit and good pay.
Benjamin Franklin - January 20, 2012 | 8:28 pm · Link
Chuck Norris is a superb actor, like Tom Selleck. We need more good actors in politics.
Villago Delenda Est - January 20, 2012 | 8:42 pm · Link
@Benjamin Franklin:
One of the classic Hollywood stars, Errol Flynn, perhaps, was complimented by someone who called him a “great actor”, and he immediately corrected that someone.
“I am not an actor. I am a movie star.”
Heh, indeed. | Some Disagree - January 20, 2012 | 8:52 pm · Link
[...] Newt Gingrich secures all-important “Barrens Chat Vote” with key Chuck Norris endorsemen… [...]
Omnes Omnibus - January 20, 2012 | 9:02 pm · Link
@Villago Delenda Est: In “My Favorite Year,” a Flynn-like character played by Peter O’Toole says exactly that.
Ella in New Mexico - January 20, 2012 | 9:03 pm · Link
Because I never once used pot, I’ve spent most of my life being clueless about references to the all the associated experiences of being high. For years, time after time in conversation and in written comments, I was on the outside—the clueless dork who didn’t get the joke. It was embarrassing and frustrating, and a whole other language I had to learn to decipher, but, dammit, I finally did.
Nowadays, it’s frigging World of Warcraft. It’s just too much for this 50 year-old.
Svensker - January 20, 2012 | 9:10 pm · Link
Well, at least we can assume that Chuck actually wrote the thing. Because if his publicist wrote it, his publicist needs to go to remedial grammar school. That “essay” made my eyeballs bleed.
pat - January 20, 2012 | 10:11 pm · Link
I’m sure I’m not the first to say this of the newtster, but
humility….???HAHAHAHAHA.
That is absolutly the LAST thing I would think about Nasty Newt.
Villago Delenda Est - January 21, 2012 | 12:18 am · Link
@Ella in New Mexico:
The fact that you know that “Barrens Chat” is a WoW phenomenon indicates you’re not too far gone.
You can play for free for the first 20 levels. Go for it!
Tim in SF - January 21, 2012 | 3:17 am · Link
@Villago Delenda Est: “You can play for free for the first 20 levels. Go for it!”
Sheesh. Do you give crack pipes to kids in your spare time, too?
Origuy - January 21, 2012 | 3:19 am · Link
@Ella in New Mexico
Smoke dope instead. It’s cheaper and does less brain damage.
Nancy Irving - January 21, 2012 | 7:09 am · Link
“Wisdom”...”humility”...OMG…
Chuck Norris Endorses Newt Gingrich | Thoughts and Rantings - January 21, 2012 | 11:41 am · Link
[...] Balloon Juice, Pat Dollard, Mediaite, Riehl World View, Hot Air, Gawker, The Hill, Lawyers, Guns & Money and [...]
brantl - January 21, 2012 | 12:19 pm · Link
From the endless blathering of Chuck:
Certainly greater than The HairPerry, at any rate.
Antique Map of Africa 1652 – The Day Conservatives Drove a Stake Through The Heart of Conservative “Values” « The Long Goodbye - January 21, 2012 | 1:07 pm · Link
[...] Newt Gingrich Secures All Important “Barrens Chat” Vote with Key Chuck Norris Endorsement For my wife, Gena, and I, we sincerely believe former Speaker Newt Gingrich is the answer to most of those questions and deserves our endorsement and vote. [...]
driftglass - January 21, 2012 | 8:37 pm · Link
It’s The Great Klansman, Charlie Brown!—http://bit.ly/Aa9Hlc
driftglass - January 21, 2012 | 8:38 pm · Link
It’s The Great Klansman, Charlie Brown!—http://bit.ly/Aa9Hlc