In April, facing record heat and seven months of drought in his state, Rick Perry took decisive action. He prayed for rain. Five months later Texas is drier, hotter and on fire. This is definitive proof that either:
(a) God hates Rick Perry;
(b) God belongs to some other faith and praying to Jesus just pisses Him, Her, It or Them off;
(c ) the climate in Texas has nothing to do with religion and instead depends on preventable human behavior and has followed a predictable trajectory since Svante Arrhenius first described the greenhouse phenomenon in 1896;
(d) in his New Testament big J explicitly points out that his Dad does not dish out favors while you are still alive, but rather you have to wait until you die (plus various whatnot in Revelations) to find out what He thinks of you, and that if you really need something right now then basement cat might take your request; or
(e) all of the above.
I vote (e).
THE
(f) There is no God.
Sentient Puddle
And now we got a fire IN Austin. Which happens to be about a mile from where I work, and maybe a mile from where I live.
Felinious Wench
Husband and I were talking about this exact same thing this weekend.
The drought has been on since he was elected to his last term.
redshirt
God is dead.
Zifnab25
I just hope Perry takes his Presidential campaign as seriously as his drought remedies.
singfoom
I’d say this is proof that you’re delusional if you think that your religion has anything to do with anything in the world beyond helping shape your moral worldview.
I don’t have faith myself, and I don’t hate on those who do, but it really does bug me when people use their faith as a bludgeon or think they’re the only ones that can possibly have the right answer.
Remember, through Perry’s worldview, God is just challenging his faith. Obviously, if he just keeps praying, eventually Texas will get rain.
Joseph Nobles
They would say (g) even Abraham couldn’t save Sodom, only Lot. And even his wife is seasoning somebody’s tater tots now.
EconWatcher
Then I talked to God,
knew he’d understand,
He said “Stick by me,
I’ll be your guiding hand.
But don’t ask me
What I think of you.
I might not give the answer
That you want me to.”
Oh well.
Calouste
When I was back there in seminary school
There was a person there
Who put forth the proposition
That you can petition the Lord with prayer
You cannot petition the lord with prayer!
trollhattan
Terrible drought down there, with no end in sight. Perry’s not what Texas needs nor what the nation needs, not now, not ever.
And now that I’ve stated the bloody obvious, this is unfolding one state over. I hope it’s (just) a nutjob and not somebody who sought out men in uniform.
http://www.sacbee.com/2011/09/06/3888213/report-several-shot-at-nevada.html
khead
I’m pretty sure Sweet Pea would just look at Perry like this, and then try to scratch his eyeballs out.
That’s what she does to me anyway.
Southern Beale
Sorry this is OT but honestly, I don’t understand why grown-ups think they can get away with disrespecting the President of the United States of America. I mean, I know he’s a black man and all, but I thought we’d moved past that.
Apparently not.
Redshift
Is someone keeping a list of all the times wingnuts have loudly and publicly prayed for something and gotten the exact opposite? I’m thinking particularly of praying for it to rain on Obama’s stadium acceptance speech and ending up with the start of the GOP convention delayed by a hurricane, but I know there are others.
Seems like it would be useful to have a record of their stubbornly ignoring obvious messages from God.
mellowjohn
or, as lily tomlin said, “when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?”
southern beale: i think you answered your own question.
The Dangerman
How about:
(G) Strict separation of Church and State
People that vote (or don’t vote) for other people based on their professed religiosity piss me off.
Felinious Wench
@Sentient Puddle:
You guys stay safe. We’ve got them up north, right on the edge of Houston. I can see the smoke from my building.
Roger Moore
My guess is that Governor Perry would argue that it’s one of:
f) They’re just not praying hard enough,
g) God is punishing Texas for the sin of electing any Democrats at all, or
h) Shut up, that’s why.
El Tiburon
To be fair to P.Rick, Bastrop county, while fairly conservative, is located directly next to Austin – the liberal home to hippies and a gaggle full of homos.
So, God simply picked out a good starting point in order to burn Austin to the ground. God also set some fires to the west of Austin and to the north.
So, you see smarty-pants, P.Rick has a direct line to God and God is coming through.
cleek
But if you think that Jesus Christ is coming
Honey you’ve got another thing coming
If he ever finds out who’s hi-jacked his name
He’ll cut out his heart and turn in his grave
(The The)
Michael D.
I say “Keep Praying!”
wrb
It is all good. It will take decades to undo the damage caused by Smokey Bear teaching socia.lism to America’s children.
Once the forests return to their natural blackened state, bunnies and bambis won’t be able to run around nekkid, mooching and sucking on nature’s teat, with have to take up honest work; and the forests won’t be infested with odiferous liberal vegans who are drawn greenery like to a plate of arugula and wilted beet greens.
The Tim Channel
If you believe that God is micromanaging things then the proper ‘prayer’ is to pray to God to stop being such a hateful prick and cut us all some slack.
El Tiburon
@Sentient Puddle:
Geez, we must be neighbors. I live off of Amherst – off of Arrowood near the railroad tracks. My wife is at home right now with the kids and pets.
Felinious Wench
I don’t hate people. There are shitty people in this world, but I don’t waste the hate energy on them. Too much trouble.
However, Rick Perry, I hate.
dpcap
@Roger Moore:
I’m afraid it’s going to be G during the general election (Obama v. Perry).
This is probably a sign that Perry’s god is on HIS side. The worse things get, the more the mindless electorate will want to vote for the Tea Party/Republican Party.
This will not end well.
scav
q) S/he has a wicked sense of humor and is trolling the choir?
wasabi gasp
Hippies always make shit difficult. Choices, WTF? The answer is “God Hates Rick Perry.” It’s got a good beat down and you can hate vote to it. It’s so good that idiots won’t even bother to read the other choices. I didn’t.
Chris
It’s also possible that God is the Christian God exactly like Governor Perry thinks he is, but that he’s just thinking “asshole, you’re the Governor of Texas, not me, helping your people weather this is your responsibility, not mine, do your fucking job and stop groveling for me to do it for you.”
God helping those who help themselves, as it were.
Grumpy Code Monkey
This particular drought is due to a persistent high-pressure system that’s fallout from a La Nina event last winter, which is not necessarily tied to AGW. Droughts happen. Exceptional droughts happen. This isn’t climate change so much as it is uncooperative weather.
What pissed me off about the whole “pray for rain” nonsense was that Perry acted like he was taking decisive action without actually doing anything. There were things the state government could have done, like suspend right of unlimited capture (there are no limits to how much you can pump from your own well), or call for mandatory conservation sooner, or have spent the last decade or so working on developing new surface water reservoirs, etc. But that means the state government would have to do something, something that would require the state to raise revenue, and God forbid the state government actually do something that raises revenue.
We can’t make it rain, but we can do a better job of managing our water. Which needed to happen three months ago, because it looks like this drought’s going to persist through the winter.
scav
@scav (cont): Walk through the pearly gates, St. Peter rips off his mask and it’s Rick Astley.
Jon H
Maybe God is punishing Texas for executing an innocent man who was convicted of arson.
Sentient Puddle
@El Tiburon:
Yikes, from what I’m hearing, that fire is by the railroad tracks near Amherst! I hope you guys are doing OK.
Me, I’m on the other side of McNeil. So…not as close, and probably outside the danger zone. I’ve had some coworkers suggest I run home and pack some stuff up, though.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
It was actually God in The Dead Zone, not Anthony Michael Hall, and he was hoping he would only have to do that role once.
4tehlulz
I have a suspicion why God is so pissy at Texas:
Thou shalt not murder.
wrb
It is all good. It will take decades to undo the damage caused by Smokey Bear teaching so cia llism to America’s children.
Once the forests return to their natural blackened state, bunnies and bambis won’t be able to run around nekkid, mooching off picknicers and sucking on nature’s teat, and will have to take up honest work; and the forests will no longer be infested with odiferous liberal vegans who are drawn greenery like to a plate of arugula and wilted beet greens.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Grumpy Code Monkey: True, but that would violate the Texas right to screw your own life up without having to worry about whether you screw up someone elses life in the process.
Poopyman
Clearly, Rick Perry is Job. As I recall, things didn’t turn out so well for the people around Job.
Sorry, Texas.
cat48
Perry Prayed in August at a Stadium with “questionable preachers”, too, right before he started running to replace the “dark cloud over DC”. He has an ad with the dark cloud. I think he might mean our president.
So 2 public prayer sessions & the Aug session seemed to make the situation worse. He might want to get another plan.
jl
You don’t need to drag Revelations into it. Just look at the beginning of Luke 13:
There were present at that season some that told him of the Galilaeans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices.
And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they suffered such things?
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem?
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
…
And also too, luckily for us living beings on earth, extreme events are not very common. So it is very difficult to attribute a short series of extreme events to global warming. And since climate scientists admit they cannot predict trends over a decade or so, in this case ‘short’ means at least a decade.
But more extreme events, and the pattern of extreme events over the seasons seems consistent with what global warming predicts. For example, and slightly warmer than average, but very snowy winter in the Eastern half of the country, and droughts in the summer.
Do any global warming skeptics have a causal model that is consistent with these short term trends, even if the span of the data is too short to produce any statistically significant results?
(Edit: answer is no, they do not.)
The reasoning behind that is not too hard, IMHO, but the media cannot, or will not, be serious about covering this stuff seriously, we are all cooked.
Mino
@Grumpy Code Monkey: Do you know if the counties have stopped the cloud seeding projects, what with cutbacks and all. I know Bexar County was doing it a few years ago with pretty good statistical results.
isildur
“Obviously, if he just keeps praying, eventually Texas will get rain.”
God is real, and prayer is efficacious. I will prove it by praying that God kills Rick Perry. Someday, years from now, as Rick Perry dies in bed from a lingering illness, you’ll look back on this comment and say, ‘Holy shit, the prayer worked!’
I’d stick around and discuss this obvious and easy proof of God more, but I’ve got to go pray that the elevator comes to my floor, and then pray that I can get outside the building and smoke.
God is so *detail-oriented*. He never misses a beat.
chopper
yeah, why wouldn’t baby jesus listen to the prayers of a guy who executed an innocent man and stopped any investigation into it?
trollhattan
Yes, yes, and I wouldn’t be so sure it’s not at least influenced by AGW. This year’s pattern is the product of the La Nina event, the Pacific decadal oscillation and the Arctic oscillation. Jury’s out on whether this year’s combination has precedent or not.
It’s certainly true the West Coast benefited this year from well above average precipitation and low temperatures following several drought years. We done stole their rain. But note the Southwest has been in drought for most of the past decade and there’s concern this condition could be the new normal.
Historical, by year:
http://droughtmonitor.unl.edu/animations.html
Current:
http://droughtmonitor.unl.edu/
Mino
@Poopyman: Jesus. Job as President. Kill me now.
beltane
If the Christian god really existed, there would not be a single megachurch standing in this country. He would smite them all for their worship of wealth and greed.
In my opinion, the Earth is trying to scratch Texas of her belly the same way a dog scratches for fleas.
Martin
If TS Lee dumping massive rain all along the LA/TX border, but not over it wasn’t a sign that God hates Texas, or at least Perry, I don’t know what was.
So, to that I say, it takes balls to deny a burning state praying for your intervention even a drop of rain.
catclub
When will karl Rove contribute his bit to kicking Perry?
or will he even need to at this rate?
Martin
@Grumpy Code Monkey:
Ah, but humans can’t effect climate change – they can, however, effect weather through prayer. Those greedy liberal scientists have it all upside down.
beltane
@chopper: Rick Perry can invoke the name of Jeebus all he wants. It would change the fact that his existence on earth is wholly devoted to the cause of evil. If these people would just go ahead and admit their Satanism, I’d give them points for honesty, but I guess that if they were honest it would mean they had some good in them, which they don’t.
Grumpy Code Monkey
@Mino:
Not a clue. I found some stuff online that dates back to 2009, but given the size of the budget hole for the current biennium, I have to think those programs have been cut back somewhat. But I don’t know one way or the other.
Southern Beale
I would have expected Rick Perry to call for tax cuts and deregulation to help rebuild from the massive wildfires but in a stunning embrace of the massive Gummint he’s asked FEMA for help.
I know y’all are shocked.
I kinda remember some idiots teabaggers commenting on a Los Angeles Times blog after their huge wildfires that it was “stupid” for tax money to go toward rebuilding in a place like L.A. since people shouldn’t be building houses amid the chaparral anyway.
scav
wrb
Perry
Culture of Truth
God wants Perry elected President, and he created the fires so Perry could rush back there and look like a caring, heroic, hands-on Governor.
gwangung
Hm.
Texas cut fire department funding by 75%.
Hm.
Minor Heretic
The Rude Pundit wrote recently that god answered Perry’s prayers. It’s just that the answer was “Lick my sacred balls.”
Perry is simply more proof (as if it was necessary) of the fundamental irrationality of our species, especially Texas voters.
Side note: Up here in Vermont the southern part of the state looks like that sand castle you made when you were five, right after the bully upended a bucket of water over it. Entire towns got cut off, bridges and houses got washed away, and roads turned into river beds.
Godless bastards that we are, there is not much public prayer in view, just a lot of people with shovels, ATVs, heavy equipment, and boxes of food and clothing. Governor Shumlin hasn’t called for prayer, for two reasons. One, he would get ridiculed. Two, he is too busy lining up more practical assistance.
catclub
@Mino: “Job as President. Kill me now.”
Wasn’t the bet in Book of Job that Job would denounce God and pray for death? You seem to have got it in one, without going through the boils and sores part.
Linda Featheringill
@Sentient Puddle:
Fire in Austin:
Be careful.
geg6
@THE:
DING! DING! DING!
And we have a winner folks!
And seriously, if there was a god, why would he/she/it align itself with obvious human pieces of shit like Rick Perry or Pope Benedict or Pat Robertson? Hell, the fact that these people are not only alive, but thriving should be proof enough to anyone that there is no god, let alone a benign and loving one.
Grumpy Code Monkey
@Martin:
It was wild watching the satellite animations for Lee; it was like Texas was actively pushing it away. NO TOUCHY!
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Grumpy Code Monkey:
@trollhattan:
And this is why the masses will never understand climate change: It totally goes against their need to have a definite explanation for events.
RoonieRoo
After spending the weekend watching helicopters flying over carrying water buckets to the wildfires on either side of us Leander/Steiner and Bastrop, I really wish the jackass would stop praying too.
Arclite
Wow, thanks for the heads up on Svante Arrhenius. It’s both amazing and frightening to know we knew about anthropogenic global warming 115 years ago so accurately, and are still failing to do anything about it.
wrb
@redshirt:
Hephaestus is enjoying life in Texas, however
RoonieRoo
Oh and Grumpy Code Monkey – since you are on this thread do you know your phone isn’t on :)
Your loving wife
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Southern Beale: Don’t worry. If FEMA was able to put the fires out today he would complain that they should have time traveled and put them out before he asked.
El Tiburon
@Sentient Puddle:
Latest news is fire is contained – brush fire, no evacuations.
joeyess
Or……. there is no god and Rick Perry is merely muttering nonsense into the ether.
trollhattan
@wrb:
Ugh. Where was Perry in the reign of St. Ronaldus Maximus and his minion James Watt? Major pro-bidnez and anti-gummint-control of resources, plus being an end-timer. It doesn’t get more sparkly than that.
Sentient Puddle
@El Tiburon: That’s good news. The reports I’m hearing seem pretty far behind and aren’t saying the fire is contained, but I’m not seeing any more smoke from my window.
chopper
@Southern Beale:
of course he needs help from the federal gummint. perry done slashed the texas forest service’s budget, including the part that pays for the majority of forest fire fighters, by about a third.
something about fried chickens coming home to roost comes to mind.
srv
Since he’s going to make the debate, I think a legitimate question for him would be:
Governor Hairdo, since you don’t believe climate change is real, does God hate all of Texas or just you?
Joseph Nobles
x) God sent the wildfires to postpone the other GOP candidates chewing Perry a new asshole at the debate.
Chad N Freude
@gwangung: Yeah, but he increased praying by an equal amount.
Why isn’t this getting wide media circulation?
Oh! Never mind.
geg6
OT, but if you were ever curious as to who is stupid enough to give the Koch brothers cash for their greed crusade (seriously, you’d think they could afford to bankroll it themselves), take a gander of this:
http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/09/koch-brothers-million-dollar-donor-club
Southern Beale
NOT THE ONION:
I mean, just OH MY FUCKING GOD. There is so much desperation and pathos in that one line. The fact that Giuliani is practically begging the Republican establishment to recruit him is so hilarious. And then the fact that he’s pointing out how truly desperate they are with his offer to make the supreme sacrifice and run … and then of course the fact that he’s just another clown in an already overstuffed clown car … oh, my. I’m laughing so hard I gave myself hiccups.
Chad N Freude
@srv: If you think anyone is going to ask him about his – um – contribution to fire protection in TX, I have a time-share condo you might be interested in.
scav
In a cost-cutting move, God outsourced his guardian angels to XE, those he didn’t replace with a phone-jail system. The system is currently experiencing an unusual amount of activity. Your prayer will be handled by the next available angel. We appreciate your devotion. harp muzak
Makewi
I object. Belief that global warming is due to preventable human behavior is something of a religion.
Chad N Freude
@Southern Beale: That is the only circumstance under which he could possibly run. Desperate enough for Giuliani (shakes head in amazement at the choice of words).
Southern Beale
@Makewi:
Yes and we have a secret handshake, special incense and a holiday every spring where we strip off our clothes and dance naked around a bonfire under the light of the full moon.
Idiocy.
Southern Beale
@geg6:
Oh the DeVoses… it always comes back to them, doesn’t it?
Where does THEIR money come from, BTW?
I’m so over these assholes.
trollhattan
@Southern Beale:
Missed my invite again this year, dangit! :-(
Southern Beale
@trollhattan:
Yeah there’s always some of us you secretly wish would leave their clothes on.
:-)
trollhattan
@Southern Beale:
Always a catch, there is! Speaking of which, wonder how Burning Man went this year?
PurpleGirl
@Southern Beale: IIIRC they are Amway, or were the founders at least.
Nutella
@chopper:
But the feds aren’t rushing out fast enough to suit Perry.
The fires give him a great excuse for ducking out of debates and/or refusing to answer questions from reporters so perhaps his prayers were answered.
Jennifer
Oh, so you’re just now noticing this.
Southern Beale
@PurpleGirl:
You are correct! I just Google’d it.
Amway. Anyone actually buy that crap anymore?
Jennifer
Just curious, but has Eric Cantor offered up any suggestions yet on what has to be cut in order for Perry to get any FEMA help?
Chad N Freude
@Nutella: He really is shameless, isn’t he.
Arclite
@Makewi: Yeah, because CO2 levels NEVER correspond to global temperature levels. Just because you’re speeding toward a brick wall with your foot on the gas pedal doesn’t mean the foot is causing the dangerous situation.
geg6
@Southern Beale:
Yep. I was just surprised not to see Richard Mellon Scaife on the list.
Just gotta love whoever taped the whole thing from the inside. Considering the level of paranoia among the Kochs and their minions, I can just imagine the freakout.
cpinva
if there is indeed a “god”, then i vote (a). really, if you were a god, wouldn’t you hate rick perry? in fact, if i were a god (any god), i’d have torched his sorry ass years ago, just for existing and taking up valuable carbon & oxygen, elements that could be put to better use by others.
most likely i would also take out some unfortunate innocent person in the process, but sometimes you have to accept collateral damage, if the need is great enough. i would make it up to that person in their afterlife, assuming there is one.
catclub
@trollhattan: Still a texas democrat in 1988 – he was Gore’s Texas campaign chair.
Southern democrat – wild eyed liberal like LBJ. The winger wing of GOP hates him for this. That and trying to vaccinate 12 Y/o girls for HPV — he should have been matching them up with 57 y/o mormon hound dogs.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
You got to love how yesterday’s jokes becomes today’s Republican policy. Faith based fire fighting.
Southern Beale
@geg6:
I love the “agribusinessman who is Stocktonian of the Year for 2005.” Talk about damning with faint praise! Stockton? It’s Bumfug, California. A low-rent cow town. I mean, at least Sacramento has the state capitol going for it.
Southern Beale
BTW looks like it’s for the most part Wall Street & coal/oil money. About what you’d expect.
trollhattan
@Southern Beale:
The asshat routinely places full-page ads in the Sac paper calling out–first it was governator Ahnold, now it’s Jerry–on how they be takin’ his water.
This Koch link explains things, a bit. Republicans want unfettered access to ALL resources ALL the time, also, too.
Mino
@Jennifer: Very good question there.
Southern Beale
@trollhattan:
Yeah saw that thing about him suing the state for not dredging the Sac River or some such.
No one does water wars like rich California assholes. Dude, go rent a copy of “Chinatown” and call me in the morning. All your water are belong to Los Angeles, sucka.
trollhattan
@Southern Beale:
It’s all about “love” dincha no?
http://www.recordnet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20110417/A_NEWS/104170308&cid=sitesearch
p.s. The Record is a Gannett paper, which tells you everything you need to know about The Record.
Makewi
@Arclite:
Nice graphs! Any idea what they mean?
feebog
If prayer has not worked, can human sacrifice be far behind?
chopper
@Nutella:
this food is terrible! and such small portions!
Southern Beale
@trollhattan:
Hmm … love, huh?
A little self-serving, ya think? If he loved water he’d be doing more than just looking out for his own tomato crop.
Shlemizel - was Alwhite
I was just speaking to God and he told me He was targeting Texas to teach them a lesson. He said the trials would continue until they legalize gay marriage, remove the unnecessary impediments to safe abortions, proved decent healthcare to all its citizens and provide protection for His environment and all His children who labor.
This is the word of the Lord – ignore it at your own peril Governor!
craigie
Didn’t Texas secede anyway? So we don’t have to care anymore, right?
Gwiwer
I’m afraid you failed the quiz. The answer can’t be (e) all of the above since (b) and (d) are clearly mutually exclusive. We’ll schedule a retest for next week. See me tomorrow during my office hours.
In all seriousness though, I have noticed the curious, and quite delicious, irony regarding things Republicans pray for lately. The latest example would probably be how they’ve been praying for rain in Texas and Oklahoma to the point of actually hoping a hurricane might come along and cure some of their drought problems only to end up with a hurricane season that seems content to send every storm so far up the east coast. I’m always weary about assigning blame to God for things that happen in life, but it really does seem as though God has been kind of giving the Republicans the middle finger quite a bit in the past few years. Can’t say I blame him.
MikeBoyScout
Is it possible that Mitten’s dog is more powerful than Good Hair Rick’s dog?
And shouldn’t this post have an We’re all Mayans now tag?
Odie Hugh Manatee
@cat48:
At least he didn’t have to go far to get a picture of the dark clouds that are supposed to symbolize the failure that Obama is.
All he had to do was snap a shot of the skies over the state he
leadsruns, Texas.moops
You use reason, he uses faith.
and it is a no lose situation for Perry. *Eventually* it will rain, and he WILL take credit.