I, for one, am shocked. SHOCKED, I tells ya.
The Independent contacted the dude who was tasked with the weirdest gig of his life — producing the specs for Osama bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan. Here they are:1
A file held by the local authorities in the town shows that plans for the “pucca” (or proper) house were filed in the summer of 2004 by the man known as Arshad Khan, who is thought to have been Bin Laden’s courier. His ID card, Number CH 9613-753-20, believed to be fake, gives a date of birth as 09/06/1977. It is though the house was completed by September 2005, raising doubts about some reports claiming the property was raided by the Pakistanis in 2003. The file also shows that the occupants never paid any property tax, and that the completed building breached several guidelines.
OBL was notorious for his utter lack of respect for human life, but tax evasion? Really. How could he?
Also, reportedly, there was a bunch of wild cannabis growing around his compound.
Weed, man — it’s a gateway drug.
Day 1, smoke a blunt. Day 2, blow up a plane. Day 3, build compound. Day 5, bong hit. Day 6, forget to pay yer damn taxes. Day 7, profit.
Talk about reefer madness.
1 Someone is going to come up with some sort of video game using these plans. I just know it. Yikes.
[via Boing Boing]
[cross-posted in the kill zone]
PeakVT
Eight bedrooms and no living room? Weird. Larger pic here.
General Stuck
Looks like a prison to me. He finally broke out though.
West of the Cascades
Is the fact they’re in English some sort of legacy of British colonialism? Or evidence of a grand conspiracy by the Obama Administration to fake Osama’s death? We report, you decide.
Warren Terra
I found it oddly sad that one of his wives apparently told someone she hadn’t left their suite of rooms on the second floor in five years. At least Osama apparently left the building and paced the property – this woman, who according to their social code wears a nearly impenetrable disguise at all times and so could presumably have safely gone into town (assuming she learned some Urdu), never got to even go downstairs in the same building.
RossInDetroit
Yeah, I saw that. Text on the plans is in English, which is unexpected.
So how did he get away with skipping his taxes all those years?
Unless…
dmsilev
Living in an oversized house, averse to paying taxes, spending large amounts of time watching television, likes guns.
Are we *sure* he wasn’t a stereotypical GOP base voter?
suzanne
Those are construction documents, not specs.
Sorry. I’m a pedantic architect.
Doug Harlan J
Intelligence suggests that bin Laden was hoarding Four Loko and negotiating with a private garbage collection company. There are reports that his next video would be released on the Reason magazine website, though given observant Muslims’ distaste for leather, I am skeptical of this.
RossInDetroit
It’s more likely that the file doesn’t show that they did pay tax, rather than showing that they didn’t pay. There are reasons that tax payment records might not be on file. Like they show the name of who paid, creating a paper trail. In either case, either tax collection is lax to the point of nonexistent or someone knew to cover up the occupant’s trail.
Lysana
There is at least one first-person shooter video game out there that allows players to design their own buildings for use/sharing with others. Within 24 hours of OBL’s death, I was informed his compound’s layout was already being used in that fashion. Call it the 21st-century equivalent of processing a large event crossed with vicarious revenge fantasies. Not the best side of human nature, but it could get worse.
General Stuck
What kind of master terrorist doesn’t pay taxes, other than British Petroleum?
MikeJ
@Lysana: Wanting to participate in ridding the world of mass murderers isn’t the best side of human nature? Working together to get rid of evil is usually thought of as a good thing.
JGabriel
@dmsilev:
Actually, between the religious fundamentalism and the fantasies of terrorizing New Yorkers and DC’ers, I think we’re pretty sure that [bin Laden] is exactly a stereotypical GOPer.
.
Amir_Khalid
@West of the Cascades:
Yes, the use of English in the construction documents is certainly because of Pakistan’s colonial heritage. In fact, I’d bet that Pakistan’s universities still train architecture and civil-engineering students in English to this day.
It’s a nice joke, ABL, but as a very devout (after his own fashion) Muslim it’s unlikely Osama would have had anything to do with taking intoxicants, not even cannabis. They’s haram, you see.
“Arshad Khan”, assuming he even exists, dealt with the architects and the local government through an intermediary, using ID that was thought to be fake. He managed to submit plans for, and presumably get approval to build, a house that wasn’t compliant with local building codes. Given what that says about the way government was being run in that part of Pakistan, the property tax evasion doesn’t seem at all surprising.
Aside from not being up to code, the house also looks ugly and sloppily built. Ironic, considering its occupant was a civil engineer by training and came from a family that made a fortune in the construction business.
SpotWeld
It’s like he lived in Galt’s Gulch or something
General Stuck
@JGabriel:
Though obviously not a very loyal one, letting the democrats cap his ass. His countertops should have been inspected a long time ago.
JGabriel
@RossInDetroit:
More likely, someone was bribed to cover up the paper trail, no questions asked. This is Pakistan we’re talking about.
.
Odie Hugh Manatee
I’m sure that game modders and mapmakers are hard at work on integrating this into an existing game. I wonder if any L4D modders are going to make a Zombie Osama compound map…lol! I’m sure the CounterStrike and other warrior maps are either in the works or already online.
I’ve heard that it was a million dollar mansion but is sure looks like a shithole to live in.
4tehlulz
So when do we find out that OBL was an unacknowledged Koch brother?
Amir_Khalid
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
Maybe it was the location that was pricey, since it’s in an affluent neighborhood where retired generals live. Plus, I understand that several contiguous plots of land were purchased and consolidated to build the compound on.
me
It’s a user made map but Counterstrike of course.
Cain
@4tehlulz:
And that he was an admirer of Ayn Rand
Cain
@4tehlulz:
And that he was an admirer of Ayn Rand, and believed the south was right in the war of Northern Agression.
(edited cuz I wanted to add more stuff)
Spaghetti Lee
Whatever gamemaker goes through with it might have to spruce it up a little. I don’t see any escape tunnels or hidden rooms or nothin’.
MikeJ
@Spaghetti Lee: There was a whole compound, not just the one building. So maybe there’s better stuff elsewhere.
piratedan
@dmsilev: don’t forget, he was all about fundamentalist values
d.s.
@RossInDetroit: Unexpected?
You obviously don’t know much about Pakistan. English is the closest they have to a common official language. Any sort of official document is going to be in English.
Same with India.
JoshuaNorton
It’s kind of obvious that a million dollars in Abbottabad doesn’t buy you much curb appeal.
Yutsano
They should have sicced the Franchise Tax Board on him. You think the IRS is ebil, the FTB makes us look like a bunch of pikers. I get calls all the time from Californians grateful we don’t play rough with them like the FTB. Who incidentally hate us.
MikeJ
@Yutsano: We could have dropped paint in non approved colors and let the homeowners association go after him.
RossInDetroit
@d.s.:
I’ll admit to having little reason to know about administrative procedures in Pakistan.
Keith G
@Amir_Khalid:
..very devout (after his own fashion)..
That’s a broad disclaimer.
Yutsano
@MikeJ: Pepto-Bismol pink. No color is more hideous for a house than that. Yes I’ve seen it.
Loneoak
FWIW, I have ‘observed’ a number of Muslims smoking weed during my times in the Middle East, including some that never touched a drop of booze. Of course there are a lot of variations, but my impression is that although it might be haram, it’s not specified the way alcohol is so plenty of Muslims are flexible about it.
And then there’s the fact that Sativa indica comes from that part of the world.
eemom
@Amir_Khalid:
is that true of all devout Muslims? Because I seem to remember the patriarch in Naguib Mahfouz’s novel “Palace Walk” going out to get drunk with his buddies all the time. It’s been a long time since I read it, however.
RossInDetroit
It is or once was common in the UP of MI, where it’s called Finlander pink. Wacky Finns.
Mitch Guthman
What I found interesting was this: No “safe room”, no weapons, no guards and no back door. Now, if I were the most wanted man in the world and I was designing a building to hide in amongst my enemies I’d surely want a safe room and an escape route (maybe a tunnel to another house) to take me to safety whilst my bodyguards fought a delaying action.
Interesting that the only real security measures were against electronic surveillance and satellite photography/computerized image identification systems, etc. Can’t help noticing that the man didn’t seem real concerned about somebody kicking down his door and shooting him. Bad design for hiding among one’s enemies but just about right for somebody living discretely among friends.
WereBear (itouch)
Most fanatics seem to have a narrow range of interests; mostly themselves.
And it’s not like it is impossible to have a good time without drinking or smoking and being locked into an ugly windowless compound, but he’s not the kind of person who can.
stuckinred
@eemom: I don’t buy it for a second. I knew a Kuwaiti math prof in Champaign that played “liar’s poker” and drank like it was 1999 (in the 70’s)!
fhtagn
@eemom:
I think that’s part of how Mahfouz characterizes him, not an indication that it’s approved behavior.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@suzanne: Yep, not specs. Specs are text. I’d’ve called them plans instead of documents … but I see they’ve got
profileselevations, so they’re more than just plans. (pedantic civil engineer here)artem1s
@MikeJ:
you win the thread!
Mike in NC
@Mitch Guthman:
Not only that, but no hot tub? No wet bar? No surround-sound home theater? What did this creep do for fun? Oh, wait…
RossInDetroit
Now that’s got to be against international law. Cruel and unusual, etc.
gene108
Surprised as well about shoddy construction.
From what I’ve read about Osama, he helped the Afghans construct fortifications, etc. in the 1980’s.
The man also worked with his family on construction projects, before going to Afghanistan.
He must’ve really been in a rush to lie low to put up a half-assed home.
RossInDetroit
Maybe OBL didn’t think he needed internal ‘protection’ because he had plenty on the outside. A fat monthly check to the right government official could go a long way toward keeping the heat off. Until it didn’t.
Gozer
@West of the Cascades: Urdu and English are the official languages of Pakistan.
PTirebiter
I’d like to know what constitutes a code violation in Abbottabad. It would have to be Wiley Coyote, Licensed Contractor worthy.
Amir_Khalid
Murdering people and blowing things up for the sake of destruction are most definitely haram too. Osama didn’t seem to have a problem with inciting people to do these things.
The use of alcohol and other intoxicants has a long history in the Muslim world, including the Golden Age. It is even celebrated in the literature of the period, although (maybe even because) it was forbidden by Scripture, and of course frowned upon by the devout.
Bobby Thomson
Interesting that you say that. My first thought was that he missed the “rent” check for this month.
Bobby Thomson
Know who else never paid taxes to the government of Pakistan?
Yutsano
@Amir_Khalid: Rumi IIRC has quite a few great poems about the intoxicating effects of wine and its pleasures. But he always seemed to be rather hedonistic for a ascetic.
Amir_Khalid
@Mitch Guthman:
If Osama had these features in his house, it wouldn’t have been too clever to put them in the official house plan — where they’d be on the public record, and any Tom, Dick or Harry could see them.
Librarian
If Abbotabad is such a posh suburb, what the hell is a farmer doing growing pot and cabbages next door?
ruemara
@JoshuaNorton:
So it’s like Queens?
Svensker
@Amir_Khalid:
A friend of mine lived in Saudi and Egypt for a long time. He said that his devout friends considered alcohol and bacon essential for treating illnesses such as colds or flu, but would be horrified to use them any other time.
Amir_Khalid
@Svensker:
Maybe I’ll try that the next time I’m indisposed. :)
Yutsano
@Amir_Khalid: Hehehe. I don’t think we could live with the karma if we corrupted you like that. Though I did say to a friend of mine last night that it’s not my fault one of the most culinarily useful foods comes from a pig.
Wilson Heath
Tax evasion. Perfect. American Taliban and Af-Pak Taliban keep looking more and more alike.
Was OBL against tax deductions for tuition for educating women as well? I’d bet anyone a Coke that there’s more to find if the surface were scratched any more.
Moe
Why should OBL wanna pay taxes; none of the other tea partiers do…and since when does it take a whole day to smoke a blunt?
Cat Lady
It wouldn’t surprise me one speck if the intelligence from Osama showed that he was a Teabagging sympathizer and the Bushies paid his bills. They needed each other like a coin needs a heads and a tails. Imagine the kinds of things Obama is learning every day about the motherfucker, his allies, and enemies, and which is which. Oh, and John Turturro should play him in the movie.
Amanda in the South Bay
@eemom:
I’m sure in places like Albania, Bosnia (prior to the war), Central Asia, etc you tend to see much more alcohol consumed. It wouldn’t surprise me that religious observance tends to be higher closer to Arabia, but I’m sure it varies widely.
Cain
@PeakVT:
Probably for his wives. There is no community place for these guys.. and certainly, Bin Laden wouldn’t want his henchman mixed up with his wives in the same room.
Anne Laurie
@4tehlulz:
The Koch and bin Laden clans do have a lot in common, don’t they? But while David and Charles talk a good destroy-the-infidel game, I can’t imagine them doing anything more strenuous in defense of their ideology than diverting a small portion of their billions into tax-averting talkshops like Reason and the Cato Institute. If old Fred, their father, had had 50+ kids instead of just the 3 loudmouths we know about, maybe one of them would’ve had the incentive to go full Osama & do more than just run his yap…
Another argument in favor of female empowerment and birth control, looks like!
Martin
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
$50,000 for the land and construction. $950K in STFU money.
soonergrunt
@General Stuck: I’m pretty sure the SEALS got photos of the counter tops on the way out the door.
Ken
@Mitch Guthman: Matt, I think he figured the ISI and military would take care of the physical threat part. Possibly another miscalculation.
Cat Lady
Every post that discusses bin Laden, the ads are for cockroach elimination. Win.
Martin
@Mitch Guthman:
Well, there are levels that you don’t need to protect yourself against. If the US has your location, safe rooms, weapons, guards, and back door won’t do you any good. But having those things makes you all the more conspicuous, and conspicuous was definitely something they were trying to avoid.
soonergrunt
@stuckinred: Hashish was EVERYFUCKINGWHERE in Afghanistan when I was there.
Ken
@Anne Laurie: “Another argument in favor of female empowerment and birth control, looks like!”
Which probably explains the GOP stand on these topics.
ribletsonthepan
@Bobby Thomson: Wealthy folk. If I am to believe CNN reporting and other news outlets, the upper classes famously avoided both income tax & property taxes. That burden is carried by the working slobs. Apparently, the bin Laden compound would have stood out if it had paid property taxes.
karen marie
@Librarian: I wish I could remember where I read it (or did I hear it on BBC radio?) but according to a local real estate agent, the house was only worth about $250,000, not $1 million, and it wasn’t a “posh” neighborhood, it was middle class.
At the time OBL’s house was built, there was a huge influx of people because of massive floods somewhere else, so there was probably more construction than usual going on and it wouldn’t have been hard to just blend in with the crowd.
That being said, even taking into account the house had been trashed by SEALs, the furnishings were definitely on the squalid side. I would imagine delivery of luxurious furnishings would be a bad idea if you’re trying to keep a low profile.
@Amanda in the South Bay: I spent the summer in Al Khobar, Saudi Arabia in 1977 and the locals drank a homemade gin referred to by the Arabic word for friend.
oondioline
See, more like this and fewer watermelon fetuses and dogs barking at shit.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@Mike in NC:
worst faux pas, no mud room, that house is not going to sell in this market without a mud room, even if combined with laundry facilities.
entirely ot
was surfing and some how came across a story on the house they filmed “home alone” in. normally i could give a shit, but one of my peeves is how ridiculously upscale mass market movies and tv shows make “average” people look, ie not celebrities or people by character who are regarded as particularly high earners.
the house is selling for 2.4 million dollars, even in chicago real estate, that has to be a bit riche. other interesting part, the sellers were approached to have their home before this home used in a movie, alledgedly by location crews just driving around scouting, or some stroke of luck it was implied. i mean imagine the luck?
amazing what you can have bought for you when you have the
right connections, who are willing to pay hollywood movie location prices for short term rentals.
Ecks
According to the guardian a while ago, the local real estate agents agree the house wouldn’t be worth more than a quarter mil, tops. The article was full of locals scoffing that if that house was worth a million bucks, then everyone in the area must be a whole lot richer than they had though they were.
Amir_Khalid
@Amanda in the South Bay: Also varies with time. Here in Malaysia, Muslims tend to be more devout than we were a generation ago — outwardly, anyway. Since then, Muslims who like a drop on occasion have tended to be more discreet, because the social disapproval is much stronger nowadays, and you’re actually likely to be prosecuted for it. And the supermarkets signs warning that no one under 18 may buy alcoholic beverages now prohibit Muslims as well.
Southern Beale
I couldn’t click on the link but let me guess … dude was a Libertarian?
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@Moe:
if the weed is good enough…
back in my younger days, it happened more than once that i walked around the apartment looking for a bowl and lighter that happened to be in my other hand, or the hand of a companion. the key is leaving the b.l. in relightable condition once you are nearly as high as you wish to be(obvi, not always easy).
Left Coast Tom
@JGabriel: Considering that “al Qaeda” translates as “the Base”, I’ve long been convinced of the Fox News Victim similarities.
Mnemosyne
@Yutsano:
I tried to find a video clip of my all-time favorite exchange from “The Simpsons,” but I failed:
Homer: Are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
MikeJ
@Mnemosyne: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXWI8uFTNis
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@karen marie:
Al Cohol?
alwhite
@Amir_Khalid:
Actually, from my sons time in Afghanistan I have learned that geef is widely grown and often used as a medium of exchange. His local interpreters smoked it and hashish occasionally & they were very devout Muslims.
The boy said every home garden had a weed patch and his photos tend to bear that out.
AAA Bonds
Too bad you can’t really get high off cannabis that has “gone native” (unless somehow you find a pristine unfertilized female plant in full maturity).
I mean, I suppose you could smoke an entire rain barrel full of mulched-up leaves at once . . .
AAA Bonds
@4tehlulz:
See, this is why my irrational gut reaction to The Big News was “good, I hope his brains sprayed all over his favorite rug.” Bin Laden was another spoiled rich bitch ideologue who converted his undeserved, U.S.-taxpayer-subsidized, sucker-contributed wealth into suffering delivered to humanity at large.
I don’t wish death on anyone, really. But when someone like that winks out of this world, well, I ain’t crying myself to sleep at night over it.
OmerosPeanut
It’s a little embarrassing how many people are posting about the property tax without noticing that very few people in the entire country of Pakistan pay property tax.
– Barely 1% pays tax
– Tax revenue is less than 10% of GDP
Osama would have stood out more if he had paid tax.
Here’s a report using those numbers.
Steeplejack
@PTirebiter:
Acme Construction Inc.
Wolprog
Somebody has already come up with a “Bin Laden Compound” map for Counterstrike.
Here’s the link.
Amir_Khalid
Devotion to one’s faith after one’s own fashion is not unique to Muslims. This blog has a lot to say about the kind of American Christian who sides with the thieves in the temple.
Jay in Oregon
It didn’t surprise me AT ALL that someone made a CounterStrike map of the compound.
Since it was a competent Democratic president who got the job done, the 101st Chairborne needed something to get their rocks off with.
Pretending to be a badass on the internet is pretty much all they’ve got.
jafd
It may be noted that there is now a cocktail named for Bin Laden.
Two shots, and a splash of water