College Football Open Thread
By John Cole November 20th, 2010
Your team sucks and your cheerleaders are ugly.
Good to see the blog has not been reduced to smoking ruins. I had a funny dream last night that all of you had somehow gotten access to post on the front page, and in your collective wisdom decided to do nothing else but make Tunch fat jokes.
Posted in Open Thread
That sounds about right.
EDIT: Dreaming about commenters Mr. Cole? You need to get out more.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Go U Northwestern!! Wildcats over Illinis in the Friendly Confines. Half-court football!!
November 20th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Tunch is fat? Whocouldanode?
November 20th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
They’re more like fat koans.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Tunch:
And how is the substantial gentleman today?
November 20th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Well, you know what they say about pets and their owners… ;-)
November 20th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
That was no dream!
November 20th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
John,
That’s not a dream, that’s a premonition.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
How well you know us.
aimai
November 20th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
I’m just hoping that the Wolverines hold Wisconsin to under 100 points. Yes, I’m quite depressed about the way our defense has played this year.
Winning Progressive
November 20th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Great, who spilled the beans on our Christmas surprise?
November 20th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I’d like to leave a complaint about the commenters with the ombudsman.
What? Too soon?
November 20th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I’m guessing there’s not much love for “the barracuda” in the Bush family!
B Bush: Palin Should Stay Put
November 20th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
No John, you have it wrong: Fat makes Tunch jokes.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Morning all,
Sadly, I really only watch one college “bowl” game a year, and that’s the Bayou Classic (It’s a “Black thing”...actually, more of an HBCU thing really), so this weekend was shaping up to be a bummer, but then VH1 decided to show Dirty Dancing, my favoredest (pronounced like my lil nephew) movie almost evah. So the weekend is starting to look up!
Fun fact, Kenny Ortega the choreographer for much of the original Dirty Dancing movie was also the director/choreographer for Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” Tour and MJ memorial, and for the 3 decent into madness that was the “High School Musical” trilogy!
The only sad, is that Patrick Swazye is of course no longer with us.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
I can’t be bothered with college football when I have a true dilemma on my hands and can’t count on BJ to help, based on my request for comments on the propriety of showing cleavage at my John’s client’s party tonight. I have made the executive decision that the cleavage is fine, but now can’t decide which pencil skirt to wear, the shorter but conservative one or the longer one with the high slit.
If you want a good post about our political situation as it stands today, I must recommend Steve Benen’s truth-telling post regarding the GOP’s motives. It is, sadly, so true that no one with a megaphone will ever say it, but nice to see that not everyone chooses to ignore the elephant in the room, so to speak.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Not fat, big-boned.
Our cheerleaders are all knocked up and our team can’t even find the bus.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
@geg6: Send me pics in all the various outfits and I will choose: jack dott jackson zero five one two att gmail dott com.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Mao Mao is more beautiful and almost as fat as Tunch, but maybe not as big. Re your dream, you need some images man. I have dreams about circles of acrobats, bears and flying people in tutus – the stuff of paintings & poems.
And also, too, go NCSU!, no go Tarheels!, no, go Wolfpack! Maybe more pro agents will stop by to say howdy and play Let’s Make a Deal.
November 20th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
The ghost of Sir Alec Guinness says: That’s no moon!
November 20th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
My team did suck this year (first losing season in almost 20 years), but it’s mercifully over and our hockey team is off to the best start since it moved up to Division 1.
And now college basketball has started, and Duke is drinking everyone’s milkshakes and slow-dancing with their dates. All is well. Looking forward to seeing them against Oregon in Portland next weekend. And spouse has somehow secured Final Four tickets.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Go Cards!
Woo hoo!
This will be the high point of the game for us.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
@Taylormattd:
I think the ombudsman is going to recommend a free-market solution: you know who you think is an asshole, so just scroll past their comments.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
You know who sucks? The Big East, omfg is that conference bad. They’re possibly going to send an unranked team into a BCS game.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
@lamh32: She forgot to add “Bless her heart”. Meeeooow!
November 20th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
@Taylormattd:
I rarely actually LOL at anything. But this, I did.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Bears
Give ‘em the ax, the ax, the ax, the ax!
November 20th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
@geg6:
The general rule of thumb is that showing over 40% of your skin crosses the line from sexy to skanky. If it’s a work thing, adjust accordingly. How short is the conservative pencil skirt? I’m thinking that as long as it’s no more than an inch or two above the knee, that’s your better bet. The skirt with the slit will draw attention to your legs, while the cleavage-y top is drawing attention to your breasts, and it’s just too much of too much, you know?
And where you’re going a bit sexified with the clothes, keep it demure with the accessories, makeup and hair. This is not a time for big hair and red lipstick. A simple, sleek hairdo, sparkling (but not jangling) jewelry, and perhaps a slightly smoky brown shadow on the eye and a slightly glossy nude lip?
November 20th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
The only thing worth saying about Tarholes vs. Wuffies was said by the Duke of Verona in Act 5 of Romeo and Juliet.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Man, is that Northwestern/Illinois-at-Wrigley-Field thing going over like a fart in church, or what?
I could give a tinker’s damn who wins, but I’ve got to watch that game just to see how that whole switching-over-like-the-end-of-a-quarter-at-the-end-of-every-series thing works.
Word to the defensive secondaries: If you intercept it and start running back to the other end zone, pull up at about the 10. Six-point INTS are nice, but be wise and save yourselves.
Otherwise, expect a class action lawsuit from everybody who bought a ticket on the other side of the 50 toward that dead end zone. What a gyp!
November 20th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
/delurk
Tunch isn’t fat. It’s just that your floor joists are in sorry shape.
Go Ducks! (I come by it honestly: 22 years in Oregon will do that to you)
/relurk
November 20th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
@geg6: Cleavage or leg, pick one. Don’t give the male brain two things to stare at other than your face or they tend to explode.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
My team(s) is awesome. Go Badgers!
November 20th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
I don’t understand, but here’s a picture of a cat with a furry white beanbag chair draped seductively over its entire body.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
@geg6: No cleavage, long skirt with slit.
Yes, Benen’s post was all too accurate. But the GOP will scream ‘small businesses!’ no matter what hypocrisy they are confronted with.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
After a promising start the Beavers have fallen apart lately, I just hope they can beat the Ducks in the civil war and ruin their undefeated season (tall order, I know).
But my UMD Bulldogs are number one! Get the sweep in Madison tonight!
November 20th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Tunch is so fat that when he auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark he got the part of the rolling rock.
nalbar
November 20th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
I can’t believe all the whining and kvetching kept me up and monitoring this blog until 3 ayem.
But then, Saturday is sleep in day, so that’s OK.
What’s not OK: Wisconsin, up 24-0 at the half , is doing its best eforts to hand it back to Michigan. Two 3rd-quarter turnovers = 14 WSolverine points.Feh.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Tunch so fat, when he lays around the house, he really lays around the house.
November 20th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
I missed the beginning of the shenanigans yesterday, so by the time I got caught up, I saw myself out. No desire to partake in Internet Dramaz on a Friday night.
Though I hope I’m not too late to get in on the Tunch fat jokes, also too.
November 20th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
no one is making tunch is fat jokes – those jokes make themselves…
November 20th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Who do I have to pay to rid me of this hangover and ensure my Hawks crush Ohio Suck University?
November 20th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
@Mister Papercut: Nice pic (hopefully FYWP allows this comment through)
November 20th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
@You Don’t Say:
Indeed! Go Badgers!
My undergrad school was Purdue so I hope we do you a big favor today. I was at the Badger game last week against IU. Oh my!
November 20th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
I still can’t get a straight answer on whose orange tabby Tunch is always sitting on.
November 20th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Tunch fart jokes? We’d never.
November 20th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@BeccaM (#32): Yeah, now I’m just goofing around; but
Hey ! But I’d go more with the admonition of going somewhat conservative. Never, ever, give the bastards a lever; in this case, leverage into your partner. Anything beyond conservative and it will be spun into slutty for some future consideration. Or am I channeling too much of my own corporate political wars experiences into this thing ?
November 20th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
@Moses2317: Not as bad as I’d feared it would be. Horrible first half, though.
November 20th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Given that the day after Thanksgiving is a slow news day apart from whatever shopping-related violence, I suggest all front-pagers do Fat Joke Friday. It’s nice to make dreams come true.
(Except my dreams. I had a nightmare that the TV was playing the Palin reality [sic] show and I was unable to change the channel. Really. Cold sweat.)
November 20th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Cowards
November 20th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
A strange thing is happening in Atlanta. Duke is beating Georgia Tech. In football. At least for now.
November 20th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Your team sucks and your cheerleaders are ugly.
Hey, now… my team was ugly and the cheerleaders sucked.
God, I loved college.
November 20th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Go Bears! Sigh. Lousy year for us.
Cal ‘84
And yes I was in the stands for The Play. We made John Elway cry!
November 20th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
I’ve got on my Hawkeye’s sweatshirt! Go Iowa!
November 20th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Guy, you were the only one who ever worried that it would be. You’ve got to stop letting us push your buttons like that. Have another Hungry Man and ask Tunch to scratch the spot on your back that you can’t reach because of your shoulder.
November 20th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
@JCT:
BOOOOOOOOO!
(On the other hand, I consider Cal to be the gold standard in rivals. Only Cal could come up with something like that to win a rivalry game).
BTW. 44-0.
November 20th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
@gwangung: Yes, and I suppose that today they are going to make me cry.
Yikes, what a shellacking.
Really, all of my favorite sports teams have been awful this year. Cal sucking is just icing on the cake.
November 20th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
@D-Chance.: @JCT:
hey, me too!
Today was a bad way to see out the old Memorial.
November 20th, 2010 at 6:57 pm