Being a Total Asshole Is Apparently a Family Value
By John Cole September 20th, 2010
Video added upon request. It’s kind of distressing that pretty much everything in modern politics was already dealt with by Monty Python or the Onion.
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“Well, those [countries] that do [allow gays to serve openly], they’re the ones that participate in parades, they don’t fight wars to keep the nation and the world free,” – Tony Perkins, at the Value Voters Summit.
If any foreign gay soldiers want to come knock the smirk off of this jackasses face, I’ll happily chip in to the legal defense fund.
Posted in Assholes, Gay Rights are Human Rights, Military, Religion
Did I just pen one of my finest “Chuck” screeds, only to see Cole bounce it before it could post? Can we get a goddamn MNF thread, too?
September 20th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Bulworth “likes” this.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Yeah boy howdy. Those Israelis just like to march around and look fabulous.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Proof, if more were needed, of how the Reichwing really feel about service members and veterans.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
A big burly transvestite marine needs to slap the shit out of Perkins.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
I’m sure all the Israel-Firsters on the right will be on this mofo like white on rice, amirite?
September 20th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Yeah, what wars have the Brits fought lately?
What? Our wars, you say?
Bleedin’ ponces!
September 20th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Clearly, Tony Perkins is an anti-Semite, because he apparently thinks the Israeli army isn’t all that.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
It is also a progressive value as you linked to Sadly No! in the past.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
These worthless pansy gay tolerating forces would include the Israeli Defense Force, if I am not mistaken.
But maybe Perkins figures that is OK, since he is a Christian and desires to help them. Sort of like the Armageddon thing, where the forces of righteousness gin up a war of world destruction, and puts a proper Christian thousand year reign where Israel is now, and the lucky Jewish survivors get to choose between conversion or burning in hell forever.
Maybe he figures he will help them out on the gay front, in some similar way.
And the Canadians. They are pansies too. Look at WWI, when they started ruining their fighting reputation (/snark).
September 20th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
“Canada, Germany, Italy, Spain and France, all of which have forces in Afghanistan.”
Right Wing Watch. A fraction of a second on Google. The liberal bias of reality strikes again.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Tony Perkins’ military record speaks for itself.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
The implication here is that any soldier/sailor/whatever that participates in a parade is homosexual, right?
September 20th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Seems to the ilk of Tony Perkins, that America is not just on gods side, nor He on ours, but more like we are God, at least amongst all the other peasant nations. These motherfuckers would be completely laughable if it weren’t the likely hood of regaining power in this country at some point, maybe sooner rather than later. I get the feeling when they do, it will make George Bush’s reign of death and destruction look like tea with the frickin’ Queen.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Damn right, Reverend Perkins! Let’s ban parades! They are so gay!
September 20th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
There’s right wing reality and then there’s reality.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Where can I donate to send Perkins to Israel to repeat his comments?
And I guess this means the armies of Iran and North Korea are fighting to keep the world free.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
@Linda Featheringill: I think Perkins is calling parades gay.
Dear NYC Irish-Americans: please form an orderly line to head-butt Tony Perkins.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
I was a stowaway on the SS Minnow. I dozed off. I awake and I’m in a parade? Jeebus take me.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Also, too:
I would like a recall on the word “values.”
It fucking pisses me the hell off that these people get to prance around talking about being “values” voters, with the assumption being that, well, I guess I’m a value-less voter?
I have plenty of damn values, and they’re really, really good ones! I value truth-telling in public life, for one, and I value the life of all human beings (not just those who look like/act like me), and, to top it all off with a big fucking bow, I value liberty and justice for all.
But don’t mind me! I’ll be over here in the corner, wallowing in the god damn valueless mud!
September 20th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
@Sad_Dem:
You’re making the foolish assumption that facts are capable of swaying these people. They believe what they believe. Facts that agree with them are fine, but facts that disagree can be ignored for one reason or another. If somebody points out that there are plenty of militaries that allow gays, they’ll claim that they’re only lame ones. If they point out that some of them are impressive, they’ll say that we’re still better, which proves that our way of doing things is better and we can ignore them.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
One a them sissy boys:
Wiki.
I s’pose T.P. is sorry Ford wasn’t killed, ‘cause he was a communiss fambly-dee-stroyin’ dupe or whatever.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
I wonder why these people have to be so horrible. I was thinking about this last night for some reason.
I know the snarky answer, but really, what’s the correlation between being a conservative and being a prick? It doesn’t seem like there has to be one. What the hell does believing in a smaller, less intrusive federal government, have to do with being a scum bag?
It doesn’t seem like it would be impossible to be against gay marriage, and also not be a complete asshole about it.
All of these issues, taxes, everything. Why are James Joyner types the exception rather than the rule? It doesn’t really make sense to me.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
What, no link to the Monty Python bit?
Here, by the way, is Wiki’s list of countries with freedom defending soldiers and the other sort.
Seriously, can we just skip to the part where Perkins is caught molesting a shaved goat?
September 20th, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Actually, yes, as far as I can tell, for the right wingers in the family value culture wars it is a requirement to be an asshole. ‘Twas ever thus.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
@Sad_Dem: You’re forgetting the UK, which is the second largest contributor to America’s misadventures. They have allowed openly gay soldiers to fight since 2000 (after a EU human rights court battle).
edit:oops, didn’t read rest of link, the UK is mentioned.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Working on the next spot and I can’t tell you how hard it is to spend hours immersed in this kind of nasty, bigoted swill. I got about $2 in quarters until next paycheck, the first serviceperson who has an urge to go nutkicking in this guy’s vicinity gets it.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
isn’t celticdragonchick one who didn’t march in parades? Am I getting that wrong?
September 20th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
@Paul L.: You know, my 5 year old has better comebacks than that. Sometimes you should just keep quiet.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Maybe I missed it, but has anyone commented on the most important thing that happened at this Values Voter conference? Didn’t Sarah Palin come in fifth in the presidential poll?
That was the first thing that really made me think she might turn out to be the Giuliani of the 2012 cycle, as some have suggested. But I remain fearful.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
@Paul L.:
Damn, dude, don’t link to your porno stash ever again, OK? That’s some sick shit.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
@M. Bouffant: See also Alan Turing.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Tony Perkins just wants those foreign gay soldiers to stay out of harm’s way, so he’ll have someone to “lift his luggage” when he goes on a closeted bender in a foreign country.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Leave it to that Tony Perkins to piss on my parade. Or is it suck the cohesion out of my unit?
September 20th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Will that be on Pay Per View? I’d pay good money for that.
Better yet, bus fare to ship him to the nearest recruiting station. Put your military machismo where your mouth is, Toots.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Hey Tony, you know who else doesn’t fight wars to keep the nation and world free? Republicans and the speakers at the Values Voters summit. If you look at the glaring lack of military service among the speakers at the Value Voters summit you can see that military service isn’t a value that Republicans really believe in, at least not for them.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: Awesome rant.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
@Wile E. Quixote:
Hitler?
ETA: Perkins is a Liberty University grad. Shoulda fuckin’ known.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
@Wile E. Quixote: Perkins was a Marine. He is one of the few hat I can think of. Your point, however, stands.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Hate making broad judgements, but at least in the most prominent figures in the extreme right, there does seem like a disconnect between their personal agendas and basic human empathy.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther:
They keep using that word, “values.” I do not think it means what they think it means.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
@WereBear: If “ranting” were a profession that paid at all well, I would be in clover, my friend. Clover! (Thank you!)
September 20th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
On the positive side, I didn’t realize there were that many armed forces with openly gay troops… which, on the negative side, shows how shameful our own foot dragging really is.
September 20th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
@Ash Can: Bazinga!
September 20th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Let’s also give a little love to this KitH classic. It’s an eerie look at what will become of our military if we let TEH GHEYZ serve openly!
September 20th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Maybe they mean “values voters” as in cheap, as in “value” generic brand bread or cereal or soup at the grocery store.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
@El Cid: I can easily imagine a grocery aisle full of bland, interchangeable white people, labeled “American Valu.”
September 20th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
This Tony Perkins guy is psycho. Yeah, I said it.
@Ash Can:
When I originally read this comment, I somehow missed the “r” in “Firsters.”
September 20th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: I had this argument with my brother right after W. won in 2004. My bro voted for him again, and as calmly as I could, I asked why. My bro said, “Because of the moral issues. He’s pro-life, against gay-marriage, and a proud Christian.”
Now, my brother truly is a good guy. He helps those less fortunate than he is and he’s a sociaIist when it comes to corporations and health care. He is smarter than I am, and yet, he allowed his thinking to be clouded by W.’s morality cloak.
I asked my bro what he thought about the war. He said it was horrible and tragic and just completely wrong. I asked about W. cutting spending on education and social welfare. Tragic, horrible, and wrong. I went down a whole list of things, and my brother disagreed with W. on all of them. I kept pushing it until he finally yelled, “I have the right to vote the way I want.” I told him he did, but I wanted him to see how what he said he valued—morality—was at odds with what W. actually did as president.
On a brighter note, my bro voted for Obama this time and is asking me all kinds of questions about the stupidity of Republicans. There’s hope, yet.
P.S. Moral of the long story: It is much easier to trumpet values and morals than to actually exhibit them.
@Brachiator: Me, too. Made for an interesting interpretation.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
@General Stuck: I do like “likely hood”. Is that the neighborhood where an event is most likely to occur?
September 20th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
So according to Mr Perkins, the nation that stood by the US in both of their illegal wars, the United Kingdom, just sends soldiers off to gay parades to look fabulous.
Wow, tell that to the many UK soldiers who died for the Bush wars. As for keeping the Nation safe, the British Army are in Afghanistan with America because the President he supported failed to keep his Nation safe.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Those of you who have not yet done so, you really need to read, “Republican Gomorrah” by Max Blumenthal. He makes a compelling case that the crazy right-wing base’s political activity is simply acting out their fucked-up inner conflicts. Especially when it comes to their attitudes towards teh Gay.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
@gex: I think the Likely Hood is where likely lads come from.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
@matt: Actually, it seems impossible to be against gay marriage and not be an asshole. Look at the evidence presented at Prop 8 against every argument, religious or not, historical or not, to see that the only reason to have gays be treated differently is “just cuz”.
It’s dressed up in some really sincerely held beliefs. The fact that their opposition requires that the rule of law not apply to gay people to the point where Constitutions have had to be changed to keep the SSM ban doesn’t make a dent in their sentimental fee-fees about marriage or their misanthropic libertarian desire to get government out of marriage rather than allow gays in. Add to that the fact that no one is forced to gay marry, and all they are doing is making rules for someone else, and I don’t see how it is possible to be opposed and not be an asshole.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:27 pm
The fact is that these idiots like Tony Perkins know next to nothing about military matters.
The USA did not single-handedly liberate Europe beginning on June 6, 1944. Tony Perkins’ head would probably explode if you told him that.
...would somebody please tell him that?
September 20th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Hah! The very first thing I looked up was the military fairy sketch, but I didn’t post it because it’s not quite the answer to Mr. Perkins, funny as it is.
/You can’t afford me.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
@quaint irene: So why don’t you want to generalize? Those leaders are selling that message to someone who is buying it. If the leaders are deliberately being assholes, what of the people who pay them handsomely to be assholes?
September 20th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
I’m sure that there’s ten or so comments by now about this, but, dude: Israel.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Has anyone else noticed that all the ads at the top of this thread* are for gay chat rooms and dating services?
*Also at the bottom of this thread. Top and bottom, both.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Wait a cotton pickin’ minute there, Tony. Since we’re dealing with stereotypes held by morons, if all the gay men are poofters on parade wouldn’t lesbian soldiers be the baddest of the bad on the battlefield?
Since we’re in the process of losing two wars, we obviously need more dykes in the Marines!
September 20th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
@SiubhanDuinne: so, they’re versatile.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Unlike like these guys? They’re even wearing their dress blouses.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:48 pm
And how many combat tour bars does Tony have on his dress blues? Which patch does he wear on his right shoulder again?
September 20th, 2010 at 6:53 pm
Mad Mike Calvert, Richard the Lion-hearted, Julius Caesar, the Spartans… People I could think of off the top of my head and I don’t spend very much time on the issue.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Mad Mike Calvert, Richard the Lion-hearted, Julius Caesar, the Spartans… People I could think of off the top of my head and I don’t spend very much time on the issue.
September 20th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
@J sub D:
No, masculinity goes like this here:
God
Straight men
———————(“the cut-off”)
Gay women
Gay men
Straight women
Community organizers
September 20th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
the “hood” that is likely to regain power could be any number things. Like Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, etc….
My grammar fu is at least 11 demented chess.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Curio, the father, says, in one of his speeches, “He was every woman’s man, and every man’s woman.” Suetonius, relaying some gossip on that fake, parades-only soldier Julius Caesar.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Amending @John Bird:
God
Male soldiers
Male athletes
Straight men
News reporters (Fox)
Married clergy
Celibate clergy
———————(“the cut-off”)
Female soldiers
Female athletes
Gay women
Gay men
Straight women
News reporters (non-Fox)
College professors
Community organizers
Vegetarians
People with cats for pets
September 20th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
@FlipYrWhig: What about male soldiers with cats for pets? I’ve known some. I, myself, had a pet while I was in the army and, anyway, I am a dog person.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:20 pm
[...] h/t ballon juice [...]
September 20th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
@r€nato: It is an awesome book, and the basic assumption that Republican Leaders are “obsessed with what they are screwed up about” has stood me in good stead.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
@r€nato: Ed Wood was there. Wearing women’s panties.
Did not make him any less a soldier.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
@Omnes Omnibus: Actual evidence does not call the hierarchy into question.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
@FlipYrWhig: I would consider dividing male athletes into manly sports like American football (but not punters or kickers), basketball, etc., and unmanly sports like soccer, rugby, hurling, rowing, distance running, tennis, and fencing. Think about it.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
@soonergrunt: No, no, no, silly. These are re-pub-li-cans. Rhetoric beats reality in importance by 1000x, at least.
September 20th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
@Omnes Omnibus: Ah, true. Yes, there are definitely manly and unmanly sports. Of course, let’s not forget the manliest: p0ker.
September 20th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Sorry, I borrowed some of this for my blog and a diary on Kos because this made me effing furious.
Here’s a link to the the British casualties that were just “parading”.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10637526
September 20th, 2010 at 8:37 pm
@asiangrrlMN:
you make me wish there was hope.
but I’ve attempted reason, and it’s Totally incompatible.
the male parental unit is beyond hope it seems. (I won’t stop trying tho)
September 20th, 2010 at 8:37 pm
@asiangrrlMN: Wow, good for your brother! (And good for you!)
Oh you are so right about the trumpeting vs. the doing. So right.
September 20th, 2010 at 8:38 pm
@Cliff:
and I can throw the SSSS boarding passes in his face too – Just for signing petitions naming war crims as war crims.
F’n rethuglican.
September 20th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
@r€nato:
Should we go all the way and tell him that the Allies would not have won the war at all if the USSR had not already beat the Nazis half way to the ground?
September 20th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
@Linda Featheringill:
Or that the US did not “volunteer” it charged the UK for all of the equipment and the men. A debt that was only repaid in 2006.
September 20th, 2010 at 9:03 pm
@Omnes Omnibus:
Uhm, rugby being football without the sissy padding and helmets and all … I’d say it goes on the manly man list.
September 20th, 2010 at 10:28 pm
@Tsulagi:
Not to mention these guys.
September 20th, 2010 at 10:35 pm
Have I called Tony Perkins a smug enema nozzle lately?
If not, he’s a smug enema nozzle.
September 20th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
@The BigotBasher: Don’t be sorry. You tell ‘em! And keep bashing those bigots! :)
September 20th, 2010 at 11:07 pm
If you see the actual video, Perkins is responding to some retired general who says something like “...and the ten countries with the largest militaries in the world say, no, we don’t think this is a good idea.”
Of course he doesn’t mention that of those ten countries, few, if any, besides the US have enviable records in according their citizens – much less their gay citizens – broad civil liberties. I mean really, are China, Iran, Russia, North Korea, Pakistan, Egypt etc. societies that recognize the rights of their gay citizens generally, but have made a purely military decision not to have them serve in their armed forces?
September 20th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
@Zuzu’s Petals:
Worse than that, this McGinnis guy is a retired Lt. Col. Pathetic.
September 21st, 2010 at 1:23 am
@Zuzu’s Petals:
Oh, and here’s the right link for the ten countries with largest military numbers.
September 21st, 2010 at 1:30 am
@Cliff: The thing is, my brother is a very smart, thinking, equal justice kind of person. Who is also a Christian. During the 2000 and 2004 elections, he let the latter (and his knee-jerk reaction to the word morality) get in the way of the former. Only after eight years of the W. regime did he see the error of his ways. It helps that we have a pretty close relationship and that he’s seen other ways in which I have been right from the start—and he’s ignored me to his peril. Despite my demeanor here, I never pushed too hard my point of view, but I didn’t shy away from expressing my opinion either. It really took those eight years to finally, finally!, get my brother on the road to voting for Obama.
@Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: I worked on him pretty relentlessly, but I tried not to be too obnoxious about it. Even when I know I’m right (which, surprisingly enough, is not all the time), I let him think about it in drips and drabs until he came to his own conclusion. It’s actually kind of amusing sometimes because he’ll say to me something like (about the prez speaking in school), “He’s the president. What’s the problem?” And really expect me to explain why the Republicans went so crazy about that last year. Any time he hears anything political, he comes to me. I have made it very clear to him that I am a proud leftie so my views are skewed, but still more in alignment with reality than are the views of the right.
As to the latter point, I have long since notice that the two big wedge issues (abortion and gay rights) are ones in which the people doing the waging of the war don’t actually have to change anything themselves. They get to sit on their perch and trumpet moral superiority without actually doing anything. In each case, their purported goal (less abortions and saving marriage) could be reached through actions of their own (working on the social issues that lead to abortion and saving straight marriages), but it’s much easier to tell others how they should change, and it has the added bonus of making one feel terribly smug and superior about oneself.
P.S. I love commenting in dead threads. If I used 20 font, this comment would have taken over the world!
September 21st, 2010 at 7:28 am
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
Sometimes, I’m going for always for the disingenuous SN linkage- it’s a link to American Power Neocon blogtardery.
September 21st, 2010 at 8:51 am
Would you also chip in if a “straight” soldier in an allied force were to run him down in a crosswalk?
Ask anyone who has been supported by the Royal Canadian Horse Artillery or the snipers of Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry whether it’s a “real” army or not.
Obedient to our obligation of mutual defence under Article 5 of the NATO treaty, Canada has, proportionally to population, had more soldiers killed in Afghanistan than the U.S.
Yes, that includes those killed at Tarnak Farms by Maj “Psycho” Schmidt of the United States
LuftwaffeAir Force. It took the Taliban a decade to match the USAF single day record for killing Canadians.It’s really not easy being your friend.
September 21st, 2010 at 10:25 am