Not a big fucking deal
I was afraid this (via) would devolve into “White people drive like this, deedeedeedee, black people drive like this, DOO DOO DOO DOO“, but it was actually quite interesting. I could have lived without the reading-level analysis part (because they were all almost exactly the same, so it’s Saletan-style “edgy” without actually saying anything), but at some level I think this explains why there where will never be very many non-white people in anything like the Tea Party:
In the course of researching this article and, in particular, comparing white guys to black guys, a handy shortcut occurred to me:
If you’re trying to figure out if white dudes like something, put fucking in the middle, and say it out loud. If it sounds totally badass, white dudes probably love it. Let’s see this principle in practice:
I think you can say “small fucking government” or “second fucking amendment” but you can’t say “unemployment fucking benefits” or “health fucking care”.
Update. And here’s another perspective on race that is very popular with McMegan’s readers.
I just want to say: I love you!
ETA: because those lines about unemployment benefits etc are priceless.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Thing is, does “Van fucking Halen” sound badass to anyone other than white guys? As a white guy, I have no idea. Sounds like kind of a circular test.
Somewhat on topic, here’s a cutting bit of racial analysis from one of Megan McArdle’s commentors. “14 people liked this” as of last count.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
That is a great fucking rule.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
@valdivia:
Thank you!
September 15th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
But the DNC has a new Fucking logo.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Joe fucking Biden can.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Okcupid has the best analytics blog on the face of the planet. I love it, even if I have a Droid, which means I have fewer sexual partners than iPhone users.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Um, what?
September 15th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
@TooManyJens: He is a very white man.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Counterexamples:
Elton Fucking John
Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson
September 15th, 2010 at 7:41 pm
I like Harley “fucking” Davidsons and Alicia “fucking” Keys, am I totally “fucking” fucked or what?
September 15th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
@The Other Chuck:
White guys love Sam Jackson, though.
Not sure what to make of Elton John, he fits in the category of Dashboard Fucking Confessional and The Avett Fucking Brothers.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I think you’ve hit on something here, but it may have more to do with what sort of things are considered “masculine” and active by American media consensus (guns, guitars, rugged individualism, being white) and what sort of things are considered “feminine” and passive (health care, soul music, collective responsibility, being black).
September 15th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
@Omnes Omnibus: Truly, he is.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Is ‘Balloon Juice’ code for an anti-semitic slur?
I had to share this self pawnage. Scroll down to the kid with the Sasquatch is Real sign.
http://americanpowerblog.blogs.....-from.html
He responds to mockery at http://www.sadlyno.com/ thusly:
September 15th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Jersey fucking Shore!
hey, it works
September 15th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Hey kook: balloons are filled with hot air. It’s even in the lexicon.
Now scram.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
@gocart mozart:
Turn me on, dead man!
September 15th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Harley fucking Davidson sounds like either a gay one night stand or a hostile corporate takeover.
Back when I was in the chrome plating biz we called them Harley Furguson tractorcycles, they haven’t changed much in the thirty plus years since that time. The Honda I’ve had all that time will run away and fucking hide from most of all the new Harleys that easily cost ten times as much.
Quick quiz, what is the most commonly tattooed corporate logo on the fucking planet?
September 15th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
@RSR:
Yup.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
@DougJ:
Ahh I was misreading the list, thinking it was “only white people sound cool with `fucking’ as a middle name”, like it was some sort of redneck thing. Indeed, as long as he’s not working for George Fucking Lucas (an easy name to say when it’s with actual scorn and not badassery), Jackson does have crossover appeal.
September 15th, 2010 at 7:57 pm
@gocart mozart:
Is it safe to go outside?
Great screen name.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
I’m white but I didn’t match up with the things white people are supposed to like. Maybe growing up in Manhattan made me more of an Indian/Asian/Latina.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Ice motherfucking T. Fail.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
@beltane:
No golf, no Tom Clancy! I feel the same way, except for Lebowski which I do love. And I do like “Beautiful Girls”, got go give it up for that one.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:08 pm
@John Bird:
I think that’s exactly right.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
I stand corrected. “Van fucking Halen” turns up over two thousand Google hits. “John fucking Coltrane” turns up just under one k, but “Ice fucking T” returns just one hundred sixty.
Meanwhile “Herbie fucking Hancock” returns just almost seven hundred. Hells yeah.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
It’s true! We’re so lame!
Balloon Fucking Juice.
Still holding at 100%. Good post.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
@DougJ: Golf must die!! Do people still young enough to have an interest in relationships read Tom Clancy? I thought was for the old folks.
Yes to Led Zeppelin, no to Van Halen.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
I’m not sure I fucking care anymore.
Does that make me a bad fucking person? Or just weary?
September 15th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
If I pay a buck a piece, will white people resist the urge to philosophize about black vs white culture? Ok, 25¢, I’m between paychecks but, you know, I will pay you to not write about this. I’m begging here. I promise not to write about mystifying whiteness, like fluffernutter sandwiches and walking barefoot outside. And tractor pulls. 10 years in the country, & I still don’t get it. Just write live and let live articles, kthxbai.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:22 pm
@DougJ:
Oh I misread it. I thought it said Balloon Jews. Nevertheless, I stand by my mistake.@The Other Chuck:
September 15th, 2010 at 8:23 pm
However, wrt to HCR, you can say, “big fucking deal!”
Great fucking post!
September 15th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
@gocart mozart:
I love that. Sasquatch Israel. Genius.
September 15th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
N.W. Fucking A.
Rage Against the Fucking Machine
De Fucking Vo
They Might Be Fucking Giants
Tracy Fucking Chapman
B.B. Fucking King
Robert Fucking Johnson
Gillian Fucking Welch
Jimi Fucking Hendrix
Arrested Fucking Development
Geto Fucking Boys
Hey, this is fucking fun!
September 15th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Hmmmm….
Rand fucking Paul?
btw: This is a brilliant fucking formula.
September 15th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Albert Fucking Einstein?
Leonardo Fucking Davinci?
Johann Fucking Sebastian Bach?
Sheik Ibn Fucking Saud?
Claude Fucking Monet?
No, it is just the appeal of saying fucking.
September 15th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
@James K. Polk, Esq.:
Rand Fucking Paul works but Ron Fucking Paul works better, for some reason.
September 15th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Fucking magnets, how do they work?
September 15th, 2010 at 9:26 pm
@ruemara:
seconded
September 15th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
How long before the nametag gets updated to DougFuckingJ?
September 15th, 2010 at 9:44 pm
@Hiram Taine:
Honda owners are almost legendary in their insecurity.
September 15th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
“Alicia fucking Keys” sounds like the name of a porn when you say it.
September 15th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
I can’t remember if it was John McWhorter or Steve Pinker where I read this, but the swear-word-in-the-middle is a pretty well understood linguistic phenomenon. It has to occur right before the accented syllable, or it doesn’t work. E.G.
GOOD: Pennsly-fcuking-vania
BAD: Penn-fcuking-slyvania
It’s the reason why Health-fcuking-care doesn’t work. Healthcare—when said as a single word—is accented on the first syllable. So it would have to be Fcuking-healthcare, which totally works.
Also, as I white guy, I’ve been to a Van Halen concert. I slept through it, but that was b/c it was high school and I was white and nerdy and really, really tired from all my extracurriculars and AP classes. Van-Fcuking-Halen, thank you for the great nap!
September 15th, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Or Alan fucking Keys, for that matter…
September 15th, 2010 at 11:08 pm
@Vince CA:
It was during their Gary Cherone period, wasn’t it?
September 15th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
I so do not fit the Asian woman list. “I am simple”? I don’t fucking think so. It was amusing to read, and this thread about it over at TNC’s place is pretty incisive.
September 16th, 2010 at 5:30 am
Fuck Van Halen (highly overrated noise)
Fuck noisy Harley Davidson riders
September 16th, 2010 at 11:47 am
@Vince CA: Saw them play backyard parties back in the day and had the same fucking reaction.
Led Zep concerts were one big sleeping pill for me. Got free tix for three different tours and was in an intense chemically induced altered state for two of them and was still bored to tears.
Typical impression after the band segued back into the tun from yet another extended multiple solo jam (“Wah?! I thought they finished this song an hour ago.”)
September 16th, 2010 at 11:54 am
Fucking “fucking”, how does it work?
September 16th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
New FUCKING Deal!
Great FUCKING Society!
Safety FUCKING Net!
High-Speed FUCKING Rail!
Civil FUCKING Rights!
The Democratic FUCKING Party!
Huh. Maybe progressives are suffering from messaging mistakes in appealing to white men these days. Wonder if this would help.
September 16th, 2010 at 3:32 pm
@LanceThruster and @different church-lady:
It was 1998-1999, I don’t know who was in the band then. I just remember it being really loud and droning. My buddies had a really good time and I meant it when I say thanks for the nap. I actually slept a lot at concerts, good or bad, as it was sort of a way for me to catch up on sleep in a way that didn’t piss off my teachers (who accused me of being narcoleptic) and didn’t piss off my peers (who accused me of not being very much fun).
September 16th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
@Chuck Butcher:
Maybe, but I see a lot of Honda fucking Goldwings cruising down the road past broken-down Harley fucking Davison waiting to be trucked back to the mechanic.
September 16th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
As a motor biker and hasher, I’m known as That Damn Libertarian. That Fucking Libertarian would have been out of character.
September 17th, 2010 at 5:14 pm