I Honestly Don’t Know What To Make of This
By John Cole September 9th, 2010
This is part Sam Kinison and part Andy Kaufman, but I present to you, Phil Davison, candidate for Treasurer of the Stark County GOP in Ohio:
I hope to Allah that Stark County does not border WV.
(via Wonkette)
Posted in Bring on the Brawndo!, Sweet Fancy Moses!
Canton. A hop, skip, and jump from WV, about 60 miles from the northern tip.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
i thought he looked like an angry, hyper-caffeinated version of Kevin from The Office.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:45 pm
so I ask again, how the fuck are we losing to these people?
September 9th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
My name is Tim Calhoun…
September 9th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
He has a masters degree in communication. Um…
September 9th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS!!
September 9th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
@Plato:
Ill communication, clearly.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
I saw this at Wonkette and thought it was the greatest thing since Glenn Moon.
ETA:
@Ryan:
Best comment at Wonkette so far:
September 9th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
living in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER! Fighting against WASTEFUL GOVERNMENT CHEESE!
September 9th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Stark County is where Canton is located – about 60 miles south of Cleveland.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
@meh: I’d say this video is evidence of an enthusiasm gap.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
@John Cole: I would say it is evidence of something. Sanity gap, maybe?
September 9th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
He apparently would be about as good as a mime, too. I’m almost charmed by the way he acts out phrases.
Almost.
“Tool” seems particularly a propos.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
As I keep saying, this guy and Basil Marceaux need to run on the same ticket.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
I hope that people start tuning in now and see what a freak show the GOP has got to offer this season. I also hope that a lot of the bad polling can be attributed to an enthusiasm gap that basically exists between the “If there is one thing left in my life I wanna do, it’s voting for any clown on the republican ticket”-Republicans and the “meh”-Democrats who ,hopefully, end up voting after all, even if they’re not enthusiastic about it.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
That clip is funny. Aided and abetted by saying he has a master’s degree in communication.
Say what you will about the Tea Party, the teabaggadiers really bring the comedy. Loony rises to the top in their candidate pool. Now even for a freaking county treasurer. Their bench is deep. I’m guessing with this one his Glenn Beck doll told him to run. They speak to them.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
they are all batshyt crazy.
but, this is hilarious.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Jeebus- did I just witness a nervous breakdown or a demonic possession?
September 9th, 2010 at 3:58 pm
September 9th, 2010 at 3:58 pm
@meh:
I dunno. Which one of you smarty pants liberals is running against this guy?
September 9th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
It’s like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when that dude starts screaming and his face melts off his head.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
My favorite part:
The man fairly reeks of clarity.
September 9th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
@John Cole:
@Omnes Omnibus:
We must not allow a sanity/enthusiasm gap!
September 9th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
I thought the GOP was running street people on Green Party ballots rather than its own.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
but sadly, he didn’t get the nomination.
back to yelling at the TV for you, Phil.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Albert Einstein issued my favorite quote in the history of language, AND I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT IT IS
!!
AAAA
AAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
September 9th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
@freelancer: In that case, we need to get a LOT crazier.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
@Omnes Omnibus:
I’m not saying we won’t get our hair mussed. No more than 10-20 million lost votes, depending on the breaks.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:05 pm
I’m pretty sure the Canton Public Library is where they busted those alleged terrorists who were copying schematics of the public water supply.
It’s in the water, that’s the only explanation. It’s the same place we found this loser who was spotlighted on Countdown last night saying we need to get the Federal Government out of Civil Rights … cuz local and State governments do such a bang-up job preventing discrimination.
[IIRC, the Stark Co. GOP’s HQ is in North Canton, which is dry. You can’t even buy a non-alcoholic beer there. Strange people.]
September 9th, 2010 at 4:05 pm
President Palin’s Secretary of the Treasury, fer sure, also
September 9th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Albert Einstein issued my favorite quote in the history of language AND I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT IT IS
!
AAA
!! AA!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
!
September 9th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
His favorite quote is: “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity”, and he’s certainly got an ample personal supply of the first half of that equation.
His most ominous quote: “If nominated tonight, I can guarantee with 100% certainty that what you are seeing from me tonight is what everyone else outside those doors is going to get over the next eight weeks!
September 9th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Victory usually ends up going to the side that wants it more. The problem with politics is that no one wants power more then a sociopath.
The gap, it is not enthusiasm. It just looks that way from long-range.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
What the GOP establishment is looking for are candidates who are good at disguising their batshit insanity from the public, although they’re having an increasingly more difficult time successfully imposing this requirement on nominees.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
“Honey, just remember to be dynamic. Don’t stand there like a robot.”
“Yes dear, I know, I’m working on it.”
September 9th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
@cmorenc: Interestingly, some of them seem to be hiding their batshit insanity under a thick blanket of sheer lunacy. It is almost like hiding in plain sight.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
I love how he has to look at his crib sheet to know where he’s from.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Nah nah, its Dwight Shrute doing his Mussilini salesman of the year speech.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
“Desperate Times call for…”
“Desperate measures.”
“I…WHO SAID THAT?! [aka YOU will be the first to die and be fed to my pet warthog on the first midnight of the next full moon!]”
[raises hand]
“THANK YOU! [Nevermind! That Rocked!]”
September 9th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Dude, drop the Ritalin and step away.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
@cleek: Yes, he’s a tv yeller. He better watch his blood pressure or his head is going to explode. And was about this close—- to a nervous collapse that night.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Residents of Stark County be afraid, be very afraid.
Does anyone have the courage to deny office to this guy? I mean, what if he got mad?
There is every reason to believe Phil lives at home with his mama. But if that’s the case, then why isn’t she doing a better job monitoring his meds?
September 9th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Is he a professional wrestler?
September 9th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
“mr. shouty,” “mr. shouty:” white courtesy telephone, please..
ps i thought he was gonna offer everybody in the room a pony..disappointed
September 9th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Is this for real? Wait, that’s what I said about Michele Bachman, Rand Paul, Sue Angle, Princess Sarah….........
September 9th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
This wording makes my day.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Also too, how come they don’t show clips of the reaction of the crowd. Also also too, he called the Dems Democratic Party instead of the Democrat Partay.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
@superking:
...and that’s the bottom line, because Phil Davison said so!
September 9th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Anybody else thing about halfway through or so, that this guy was going to go all “Hey Man, Nice Shot” on the crowd?
September 9th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
LOUD NOISES!
Also.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
You should see this guy do his mime act.
It killed at the Aspen Institute.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
I have just one question to ask this guy: Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Oh, and the sword gesture was a really nice touch.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
@Triassic Sands:
The climactic scene of “Psycho” flashed in my mind when I read that.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Like the online PhD that Palinbot and Breitbart contributor “Dr.” Gina Loudon earned? Or the honorary doctorate that the Koran-burning preacher got from an unaccredited university?
September 9th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
So, I gotta know:
He said “If you nominate me tonight.” Apparently, then, the nomination process is complete.
Well, did he win?
September 9th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
The whole time I was watching the video I was torn between laughing because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and horror because I live in the same county as this guy. Crap.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Ah, I lived in Stark Co. for 6 or 7 years. Good times.
@Mark Adams:
[IIRC, the Stark Co. GOP’s HQ is in North Canton, which is dry. You can’t even buy a non-alcoholic beer there. Strange people.]
Correct.
By the way after something like 50 to 70 years of being represented by a Rep in congress the seat that represents Stark Co flipped to the Dems in 08. He has been a valuable member for the Dems.
http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-.....ama-speech
http://www.johnforcongress.com/
September 9th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
“Some men see things as they are and ask ‘Why?’ I dream things that never were and wake up screaming, ‘MOMMY, DADDY, WHY DIDN’T YOU HUG ME MORE?!?’”
September 9th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Did he say he wanted win the election on 11/10/2010?
What election on November 10?
September 9th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
@Emerald: The HuffPo reports that, shockingly enough, he did not. The party leaders must have been afraid that if he were the candidate, they’d go broke buying tranquilizer darts.
September 9th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
That is one of the three worst Kirk Douglas impersonations I’ve ever seen.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
@Emerald: He did not win. So unfortunately, that’s the only stump speech of his we’ll get this election cycle.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
@Hogan: LOL. I was going to say Al Pacino.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
@Sentient Puddle:
Nicely stated. Who knows what the future holds? A journey of a thousand miles . . . .
September 9th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
From Wikipedia:
Minerva, Ohio: ...[according to the 2000 census] the racial makeup of the village was 99.03% White, 0.05% African American, 0.08% Native American, 0.13% Asian, 0.05% from other races, and 0.66% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 0.48% of the population.
Lenny Bruce to a broken toilet: “It’s a good thing you’re white”.. or there would be trouble.
I dug the audience reaction in the clip. Stunned silence, followed by nervous and/or appreciative laughter, followed by applause.
They actually applauded the guy.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Somewhere, a meth lab is missing its quality inspector.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Wow. I was busy so just got a chance to watch, made it to 1:21 before the busy camerawork and angry hysterical guy act made my head spin in such a dizzying fashion that I had to quit.
Good to see he didn’t win. Maybe he could be the new Billy Mays, though. Nah, too angry.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
The national Democrats should pay this mofo to do half hour infomercials on behalf of the GOP.
Let’s send a message of lunacy, rage and mental illness.
Someone help this prick.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
@UncommonSense:
“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
At least that’s my favorite Einstein quote. Seems more appropriate, but I’m not running for Stark County Treasurer.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
@JWL:
Yeah, well if I were in the room with that guy I’d be wondering what would happen if I didn’t clap harder.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
@Ash Can: WIN.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
@mai naem:
Ah, I hadn’t noticed that. That explains why he lost. Crazy enough, but lacks language discipline. He might call the death tax an “estate tax” if you let him out on the campaign trail.
September 9th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
omg…..this man is borderline. Hopefully not too close to the WV border line. also.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
@Hogan:
Win. LOL.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Is there a transcript? I can’t hear him over my laughter and disgusting phlegm-related sounds.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
I really love this guy.
drastic measures?
September 9th, 2010 at 6:39 pm
But I ALWAYS want my banker to quiver in psychotic glaring rages! That’s the best kind of treasurer you could possibly have!
September 9th, 2010 at 6:39 pm
@JWL: Like clapping for Tinkerbelle.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
UN_FUCKING_HINGED
I’d resisted watching this video all day, and clicked to watch… someone get the butterfly nets.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Stark is only one county away from WV. He’ll probably invade. Sorry you’re fucked.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Stark, raving nuts.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
@Martin:
This wins the thread and a thousand internets, right here. Boom, game over, everyone can go home now.
September 9th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
@Jon O.: I went straight to Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker too. How can the Stark County GOP get back ON THE RIGHT TRACK?
September 9th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
I know we’ve been saying that reality has outstripped satire for awhile now, but Ho-leeeeeeeeeee crap.
September 9th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Boy, you can tell this guy has a Master’s in Communication. It really conveys to your audience that you are speaking from the heart when you yell and constantly refer back to you notes.
September 9th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
@Zandar:
Can we get Basil Marceaux, Glenn Moon, and Phil Davidson on the same ticket, somehow?
Please please please please please PLEASE?
September 9th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
As my old drama teacher J.R. Rawley used to say, “sense of measure. sense of measure, my God you are killing me.”
September 9th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
@Ash Can:
Thanks, Ash Can, for the insight.
Now that you mention Psycho things are beginning to fall into place. This answers my question about Mom’s failure to monitor Phil’s meds—if she’s been dead for x months/years she can’t very well be in charge of the anti-psychotics.
Usually, I’m not very interested in county level politics in counties other than my own, but in this case I’m hoping to find out how Phil does in his quest to be the angriest county official ever. Anyone who would support this guy has to be as crazy as he is.
(PS: I think I’ll skip taking a shower today…just to be on the safe side.)
September 9th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
Jesus, what you can’t run for anything in Stark County unless you’re Stark Raving Mad? Wasn’t there a coffee table somewhere that he could have crashed onto? Pure gold comedy, that was.
September 9th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
[...] said that, I present to you Phil Davidson who is running for Treasurer of the Stark County GOP in Ohio. As President of my local [...]
September 9th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Phil Davidson: Let’s use this knowledge not only as a tool, but as a WEAPON!
Beloved Spouse: Don’t hurt yourself.
September 9th, 2010 at 8:08 pm
@JBerardi:
...for treasurer of a county Republican party branch?
I’m not sure that would be considered ethical, although it does raise some intriguing possibilities.
September 9th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Jesus. What a freak.
Or maybe he’s very cynically trying to take GlennBeck’s emotionalism to the next level. Tears and hysteria work for Beck, guess he’s gonna give it a whirl.
“Infestation.” “Both barrels, guns loaded.” Got a bit of the ol’ glennbeck eliminationist shit worked in there, too.
I did love this part:
“I guarantee with 100% certainty that what you are seeing from me tonight is what everyone else outside those doors will get for the next 8 weeks.”
Oh God please make that a reality, pretty please.
September 9th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
jeepers that was painful. i couldn’t watch very much of it. my first impression was that the guy was just really nervous but i skipped ahead a few times and realized he’s not really nervous – he’s really nuts. he’s like that dude that thought carrying a rifle in his campaign ads would win him the alabama agriculture inspector job or whatever it was – way too much firepower applied to way too small of a pursuit.
September 9th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
@Sentient Puddle:
Oh poopy poop. I was hoping we’d get to see 8 more weeks of that kind of funny shit.
Goopers. They’re either batshit crazy-scary or they’re killjoys.
September 9th, 2010 at 9:03 pm
This is your new White House chief of staff in 2012. Welcome to the Sarahpocalpyse.
September 9th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
He lives in Stark County? Maybe he thinks it’s Stark Raving Lunatic County, thus his desire to represent the crazy. Maybe he lost because he wasn’t crazy enough?
September 9th, 2010 at 10:53 pm
That poor man belongs in a hospital.
September 9th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
He didn’t win? What the hell is wrong with the Republicans in Stark County? Can’t they recognize passion when they see it?
I fear for Stark’s residents. If Phil can get that worked up giving a speech, imagine how distraught he will be in the face of defeat? And he doesn’t exactly strike me as the kind of guy unfamiliar with violence.
September 9th, 2010 at 11:57 pm
You’ll have plenty of time to oppose the Obama Agenda… WHEN YOU’RE LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
September 10th, 2010 at 1:42 am
I have a sad little playlet running in my mind after watching this: Mr. D. exits the auditorium, steps outside and cellphones his wife. “I THINK I HIT A HOME RUN IN THERE HONEY, I WAS SO PUMMMMMMPED!” he yells, crushing the phone to bits in his fist.
September 10th, 2010 at 2:26 am
OTOH, this guy had more content than Jan Brewer’s opening statement in that debate thingy she did, and she’s a sitting governor. Strange times…
September 10th, 2010 at 2:51 am
Oh, God. As someone who makes a living standing up in front of people and talking at them, one hint: if you’re going to do “impassioned”, please do not tie yourself to the lectern by an invisible leash of terror that gets yanked every time you forget your spontaneous and passionate words.
Also: Prozac. Or beer. Lovely, lovely stuff.
September 10th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
At first, I was bemused and amused. Then, I grew concerned. There is something just not right with that guy. However, ultimately, my amusement at his episodic fits and starts won out. Still, he needs meds.
September 10th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!
September 11th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
hes yellin’ like my school principle
September 12th, 2010 at 9:28 am
@Plato:
that’s exactly what i was thinking!
that, and that this guy is totally TWEAKING!!
September 12th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
In the immortal words of bugs bunny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Kh7nLplWo
September 13th, 2010 at 10:52 pm