Catsy - August 5, 2010 | 3:17 pm · Link

Wow. That is a truly stunning parade of crazy.

But that’s okay, because some guy on the internet once made a video comparing Bush to Hitler, and that’s just what the Nazis would do. Why are you pro-Nazi?

Midnight Marauder - August 5, 2010 | 3:20 pm · Link

I can never be amazed at just how slimy the company Andrew Breitbart surrounds himself with. This Pezzi guy just totally encompasses everything that is terrible and all too commonplace with conservatives today:

The same is true of people who lived in Africa during the years that many of them were nabbed and put into slavery. Yes, that is a great moral injustice, but it is easy to see how we helped the descendants of those slaves by bringing them to the United States. African lives are often brutal and cut short by disease or violence. Many people in Africa still eat “bush meat” (e.g., gorillas, chimpanzees, monkeys, and other primates) instead of obtaining their food from nice restaurants or grocery stores, as African-Americans do. (Here’s an insightful perspective that harmonizes with my stance.)

Okay, that’s pretty standard ignorance. But what does Mr. Pezzi have to say about Native Americans?

Now that Senator Barack Obama is discussing reparations for slavery, I recall something that my brilliant brother once said decades ago that is applicable to this issue. After the American Indians applied enough political and economic pressure to get American taxpayers to atone for injustices committed a century before they were born (thus setting a bizarre precedent that people can be financially penalized for misdeeds they did not commit), my brother remarked that the Indians, instead of endlessly bellyaching about the evil White Man, should instead THANK US for giving them the freedom to benefit from our superior technology. Without those advances, my brother noted, Indian mothers would still be living in wigwams and crying when their children died of appendicitis. Unless my many teachers were mistaken, American Indians were living in the Stone Age when European explorers first appeared on this continent.

And yet remember, according to E.D. Kain, the Obama Administration is somehow more wrong in firing Shirley Sherrod than Andrew Breitbart is for fostering an atmosphere of bigoted propaganda and race-baiting.

Tom Hilton - August 5, 2010 | 3:21 pm · Link

I love the part about his Sprezzaturas (or is it Mary Roshes?). I can’t help wondering if this is performance art that just happened to go way over Breitbart’s tiny head.

stuckinred - August 5, 2010 | 3:23 pm · Link

@Martin: You also do not need a law degree to be a lawyer, no?

Bubblegum Tate - August 5, 2010 | 3:24 pm · Link

Aleksey Vayner + racism = Kevin Pezzi

Martin - August 5, 2010 | 3:30 pm · Link

@stuckinred: Possibly, but that would likely vary by state (licensure is handled by state labor boards based on standards set by the professional body). For professional engineers (similar licensing requirements as lawyers) you can get licensed without a degree in most states, but it usually requires in the neighborhood of 16 years of working under a licensed engineer, in addition to letters of recommendation, a clean ethics record, and passing the required exams. It’s pretty rare, but it is possibly. By comparison, someone with an accredited degree can complete the same process in 5 years, and they can start on that process usually a year before their earn their degree. Typically you need to get licensed separately in each state, so you might meet the requirements of one state before another. Some states recognize the license of other states.

For lawyers, my guess is there are similar ways around the conventional route.

russell - August 5, 2010 | 3:31 pm · Link

This is just too crazy to believe.

Nothing is too crazy to believe.

The new rules are: the crazier, the more likely it is to be true.

I’m ready for the laughing gas.

Violet - August 5, 2010 | 3:31 pm · Link

In other medical news, Rand Paul apparently never graduated from college, but somehow got into Duke Medical school.

It’s not unheard of. A medical school can accept you if they deem you qualified, even without an undergraduate degree.

I used to work with some people who were on the admissions board of a prestigious medical school and we occasionally discussed the types of candidates the interviewed. They told me a Bachelor’s degree was recommended but not mandatory. They didn’t admit very many students without undergrad degrees, but it had happened. For the most part, such students were the child-genius types, where they were doing amazing scientific research at twelve years of age, etc.

It was more common for such students to get into the graduate programs because medicine still involves a lot of personal interaction during the training years, and students who are too young are not respected by their patients and may lack the emotional maturity it takes to be a good doctor. The admissions committee did take such things into account.

New Yorker - August 5, 2010 | 3:32 pm · Link

Again, it’s getting harder and harder to differentiate the “mainstream” right from off-the-deep-end conspiracy theorists. This guy sounds like the kind of fraudulent “experts” that 9/11 truthers bring in to prove that the WTC was brought down by explosives.

The amazing Dr. Kevin Pezzi | The League of Ordinary Gentlemen - August 5, 2010 | 3:34 pm · Link

[...] John Cole – this is probably the most entertaining thing you’ll read today. In two posts on Andrew [...]

Tonal Crow - August 5, 2010 | 3:36 pm · Link

This is far less crazy than the GOP nostrum that cutting taxes and increasing spending reduces the deficit. But it is funnier, in a Palinesque sort of way.

Oscar Leroy - August 5, 2010 | 3:37 pm · Link

Maybe someone here mentioned this already, but Colbert did a bit about how Rand Paul isn’t board certified by THE board of ophthalmology but by a board he himself invented, and which has certified only him.

The amazing Dr. Kevin Pezzi | American Times - August 5, 2010 | 3:38 pm · Link

[...] 2010 by E.D. Kain url='http://www.americantimes.org/2.....';Via John Cole – this is probably the most entertaining thing you’ll read today. In two posts on Andrew [...]

NonyNony - August 5, 2010 | 3:43 pm · Link

@Oscar Leroy:

Colbert did a bit about how Rand Paul isn’t board certified by THE board of ophthalmology but by a board he himself invented, and which has certified only him

Yup. He didn’t like the politics of the actual board so he went Galt and created his own board and certified himself with it.

I’m unclear whether he’s the only ophthalmologist certified by his board or not, but I do recall that the story said a few of his family members were listed as board officials. IIRC his board doesn’t have AMA recognition.

Hob - August 5, 2010 | 3:50 pm · Link

My favorite part: before he enlarged his manhood, it used to be “embarrassingly small (at least to me)“. I guess that qualifier means that he has higher standards than other guys, who would’ve settled for a measly 8 inches.

Fleas correct the era - August 5, 2010 | 3:52 pm · Link

Pezzi wrote a book about how you can “Lose Weight Without Dieting, Drugs, Herbs, Exercise, Or Surgery”

Or eating.

Or breathing, for that matter. New hope for the dead.

Also.

parksideq - August 5, 2010 | 3:54 pm · Link

I love how he says

Since I am probably one of the few people who truly loathes racial discrimination AND has a viable plan to help eliminate it, I do not want to contribute to the problem by using epithets that stereotype people

in the middle of a screed defending his use of an epithet that stereotypes people.

Some Onion editor is weeping in his office right now; he just realized his satire will never be as bizarrely absurd as Pezzi’s (delusional) reality. This guy is definitive proof that Breitbart can eat a salty dick with chapped lips.

Tom Hilton - August 5, 2010 | 3:56 pm · Link

Apart from the wackjobbery of this, it really does seem like Breitbart is trying his damnedest to prove the malice part of Ms. Sherrod’s upcoming lawsuit.

JWL - August 5, 2010 | 4:01 pm · Link

Dr. Ooze, lounge lizard extraordinaire.

timb - August 5, 2010 | 4:10 pm · Link

@stuckinred: HAH! Maybe back in the day, but law school’s a racket and rackets can be VERY persuasive

Hob - August 5, 2010 | 4:15 pm · Link

@Poopyman: And if he can make his dick bigger, why can’t he do something about his complexion?

It’s possible that that’s not his face—he just made his dick really big.

Comrade Javamanphil - August 5, 2010 | 4:16 pm · Link

@roshan: Guess those eleventy billion websites and books of his don’t net much money if he can’t hire a halfway decent photoshopper in this job market. Those are some creepy photos.

Bella Q - August 5, 2010 | 4:21 pm · Link

But he’s a name dropper – his website has a link to a blogpost about, and titled: Why I refused to date Katie Couric. I’m sure she was crushed.

I have issues with Baltimore - August 5, 2010 | 4:26 pm · Link

I’m not surprised Dook would do something like that. As a native North Carolinian, I patiently await the day when the collective sins and carpetbagging doucheness of Dook alumni forces Satan to rend the land asunder and swallow all of Durham up in a gaping fiery maul of Eternal. Burning. Pain.

licensed to kill time - August 5, 2010 | 4:33 pm · Link

Dr. Pezzi, Dispenser of Candy for Fools.

Poopyman - August 5, 2010 | 4:37 pm · Link

Andy Breitbart is proof that Andy Kaufman never died.

Tom Hilton - August 5, 2010 | 5:21 pm · Link

@twiffer: You’re missing the point: if it’s a blind date, and you don’t go, then it would have been with whomever you imagine it to have been.

ruemara - August 5, 2010 | 5:51 pm · Link

There just is no crazy left behind, is there?

Jason Brzoska - August 5, 2010 | 6:52 pm · Link

If you actually read his various sites, it all gets even better. He LOVES talking about huge penises. An example:

http://www.erlove.com/er_stories/er_cure.php

“A man presented to the ER with a copious penile discharge. He’d recently returned from Las Vegas and admitted that he’d had sex with a prostitute. This surprised me somewhat, because his penis was so large that I thought penetration would have been next to impossible.”

Amazing stuff…

-Jason

Bella Q - August 5, 2010 | 8:26 pm · Link

Breitbart took him down. Well, scrubbed his column, and the bio from the bigbullsh!t site.

Comrade Sock Puppet of the Great Satan - August 6, 2010 | 4:09 pm · Link

OK, this is going to surprise nobody, but Dr. Pezzi claims:

“Dr. Kevin Pezzi is a prolific inventor and website creator. Among his “over 850 inventions”

...but there’s no K.Pezzi listed as an inventor in the U.S. Patent Office database of patents or patent inventions. Surprising none of those alleged 850 inventions were worth patenting. Unless, y’know, he just made shit up.